Episode 682: Clifford Olson Part I - The Uncle Game

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1:05Who's that one? Oh, finally. Finally? Back in Canada. Oh, Canada. Where kids are killed every day. They are. That's really great. I really didn't know those lyrics until just back then. No, I love this series because we're back at talking about Canadian police. Yeah. And how they're just all over it. No, yeah, the Canadian police. Man, they're just all fucking over it. If they spent the little less time picking out crazy hats. They have gotten on. Wow. These are all right. Oh, man, if you guys thought that the Canadian police work and the Robert Picton series was dirty, hairy level top notch, you're talking like this is richer level. This is richer. Yeah, Jack Reacher's on it. Old Jack Reacher.

2:08I'm going to last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the Conuck Henry Zabowski. Yeah, what you're going to want to do there is that you're listening in your podcast, but what you're going to want to do is you're going to want to get a job. You're going to want to marry the first girl you meet. That's it here. And we got Hozer number one, Ed Larson. That's right. I'm here. I'm visiting from America. Because I don't do voice as well. You're too long. I'm seeing a perfect a nailed the national character of Canada. They don't like that word. Perhaps our coverage of Canada today will make up for how truly abysmal the Wolverine game is. You don't like it. I hate it. He's coming for it. Wow. Rob's band too. He's gone in for it.

3:08I hate it. It's the worst camera work I've ever seen in a video game. It should have been released a year from now after they figured out how the camera works. Wow. Canada is going to be angry at the Omega Red comedian. The Omega Red boss fight is already bad and then you make me do it a second time. Fuck you. Oh no. This is actually the fault of the Japanese. Let's get into it. Who's the real bastard? The Canadian's or the Japanese guy? Who's the Japanese? Fuck Wolverine. I'm playing titanium court at game fucking rules. I don't know what it means. I don't know either. Eddie, but let's support him. I've been getting really into solitaire. It's on my phone. It's a video game. It's just you play it by yourself. You know what's the word solitaire? Clifford Olsson. Yeah. So for this brand new installment of our long running heavy hitter anthology of serial killers, we're covering a bit of a hidden gem in the annals of true crime history.

4:10It is. Today, we're covering the so-called Beast of British Columbia, Canada's own Clifford Olsson. Over a period of just nine short months. From the fall of 1980 until the summer 1981, Clifford Olsson raped and murdered 18-age girls, two teenage boys, and a nine-year- He just got out of there. He just got out of there. You don't want to know what he did with the maid's amulet. I got their kids out there. Nine-year-old boy. That was a fine one. That's 11 murders overall. But Clifford Olsson's story is far more interesting than that of a simple predator. Olsson was a true agent of chaos in every sense of the term, considering how he conducted himself during both his murders and his extensive criminal career. He was almost on the level of a fictional character like the Joker. But there is another fictional character that could be used for comparison. For each of this first episodes.

5:11Yes. Personally, when I was reading about Clifford Olsson's childhood, I couldn't help but think that if Martin Short's classic and incredibly underrated character Clifford from the movie of the same name, if Clifford was a real boy in the real world, that little ball of chaos would be Clifford Olsson. Can't you ever make a normal... He just be a normal boy. Be a normal... Probably one of the best movies ever made. You don't think so, you're wrong, but you are incorrect. And if anybody out there, I make a plea once... There is an already cut. If someone can find and release the already cut of Clifford... Oh my god. I don't know what I'll do. I'll pay for your... I'll pay for your parents' retirement home. When your parents have to go into a home, I'll pay for it. Dude, you're gonna have to fucking pony up. Someone's gonna be like, this is my ticket. It's an already-ed Clifford cut. Yeah, I would like to see it. How many things get that 50 grand?

6:12You think Mary's... Just Mary Steen Merchant get naked in it? That would be him, but... But Charles Grote and Hanks Dong. Oh man, I would love to see Charles Grote and that scene from Spedders... Where that girl's just playing with his dick involved. No, that would make me respect him more. I'm sure it happened to him. Now before Clifford Olson, that's our subject today. Before he was exposed as a serial killer, he had gained some small measure of fame in Canada... As a prison escape artist. This was back when he was just known for petty crimes like theft and fraud. Before he was known as a murderer and rapist. And he would spend much of his time in prison writing letters to government officials pleading early release. Because Clifford Olson was often in contact with government officials and because he escaped prison over and over again, Clifford Olson was sometimes better known as Senator Rabbit. Which is far too adorable of a nickname for a man who murdered 10 teenagers and a little boy. It's too silly.

7:13This is another example of Canadian silliness that bakes its way into the judicial system. Calling... Like he was arrested several times for buggery? Yeah. What is buggery? A buggery is Canadian rape. Yeah, buggery is a different cut-er rape like the bacon. Oh. I believe specifically, buggery is a sotomy. Oh, yeah. I think it might be anal. No, I think it's just sotomy in general. Oh, yeah. He was too selfish. He never got... They never got him for tuggery. No, no, that's when you do reach it around. That's if you're pulling too hard on a unproperly regulated towing device. Yeah. It's like being too much of a gentleman. Oh, that's a good murder fish name for you. Yeah, tuggery. Tuggery Johnson. Tuggery? Yes, I'm pretty much a ball dredgable. Yeah, take me, Johnson. I'm pretty sure that is the guy that arrested Clifford Olson. Tuggery Johnson. Tuggery Johnson. All right, there.

8:13Are you going to watch yourself there, baby? I mean, it gets you on Pounson, which is what they also call rape. Pouncing. Pouncing, really? You know, you can't make rape sound cuter. No, it's really... It's really... Or giving her to the baby, the old... Give it to her, huh? Yeah. Yeah. When they do it with a guy, rape, and a guy, it's having a go, eh? Yeah. He's having a go. Oh, okay. Brick it up. Brick it up. Brick it up. You walk home that way, you walk home that way. Oh, no, you stop rippling each other. Hey, hey, you're back to ramping each other. No, I gotta say that. I said that again. Hey, hey, hey, hey, if you keep doing it to him, I'm going to make him do it to you. Oh, okay, then. Why don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, now smoke the whole pack. Now fuck me. You're right. The entire Canadian justice system is like, you know, just dealing with fifth graders. Yeah. Clifford Olson was not a conventionally intelligent man. As a kid, he rode the short bus to school and due to a dyslexic condition that he refused to manage or improve, he often mixed up words.

9:17For example, he routinely referred to anal sex as annual sex. What the hell is that? And how often you do it? The way I do it, it should be called daily sense. And he did that with all seriousness. While Olson's conventional intelligence was low, he made up for it with extremely high social intelligence and an impeccable memory. He was also a pure sociopath. I read that in the, the psychopath test, he scored some, it was like 38 out of 40. And this combination of natural talents made Clifford Olson a master at running scams and manipulating people. Clifford Olson was such a successful scammer that he infamously convinced the Canadian government after he was caught as a serial killer mind you to pay him $10,000 each for the 11 locations where he dumped the bodies of his victims. This would become the infamous bodies for cash scan. Like some sort of fucking greasy salesman Olson told the Royal Canadian mountain police that since he liked them, he'd give them all 11 body locations, tell you what, give it to you for an even hundred grand.

10:2811th bodies on me. And you got to know if you give me a chance, I'll make a 12. Yeah, John, give me a 12, stand on top, give me a 12, stand right on there, that's a baker, it doesn't. But in the American, it's only like $1200. Yeah. They're looking monopoly money. They're fucking tankers. I'm so angry. I'm sorry, we really enjoy you. We love coming. We know it's a better place. We know it. That's why I make fun of you. Exactly. Yeah, you get to live a better life than we do. So you have to be made fun of. I'm sorry. But incredibly, the RCMP actually paid Clifford Olson the fucking money. That's how good he was at manipulation. Or is that how bad the police are? Sure. Or lazy. That's all of it, buddy. We think that Canadian police officers are the lazyest humans that have ever existed. Clifford's ability to scam and manipulate other people is even more remarkable due to the fact that Clifford Olson was a relatively grubby little man who spoke with an outrageously stereotypical Canadian accent.

11:37This is, of course, an addition to his voice, which, as Henry pointed out to me a couple of days ago, sounds very much like a cartoon mouse. I can't even get up to the natural timber. Yeah. Because it's very, it is truly the exact voice you expect when you see the words goofy Canadian. Yeah. Right, like the words come in. Oh, yeah, but try. That's how old goals are, you know, honest. I wish I could see the outside from in here. There's something about it. We've covered if you mix it with your high pitch, the Italian, it might work. Yeah. But then I start to slide. Don't do that to me now. So this is the issue is that I feel like in the history of last podcast on the left, we're now really touching on several of the more important stereotypes within Canadian. And we're seeing it through their criminals. Yeah. One, you got your Robert Picton, which we covered. Robert Picton is your stereotypical dumb yet tough Canadian. There is the tough the biker, the biker rural, really, really tough.

12:41Things he's a lot smarter than he is. Right. Things he's a criminal mastermind. And incredibly, incredibly dangerous and will beat you within an inch of your life. Yeah, dangerous guys. The Canadian bikers are real do. Yes. That is, that's one side. Then we have the Paul Bernardo's, which to me is the obsessed with America. A little bit like wanting to be up with the Joneses. The fact that he wouldn't be a rapper and so very Toronto, very like city boy with all his fake shit, but still indelibly Canadian, which means a half step wrong. Right. He's always kind of wrong about the choices he's making. He's the type of guy who thinks that if only I can make it to Los Angeles, like if I can get an apartment in Burbank or I got it made, they're going to love me there. Listen, my DJ name is DJ Avalanche. You know, that's not right. But now we finally have come to Clifford Olson that to me represents and I'm not there's no bones about it. I think Clifford Olson is one of the most dangerous men to have ever been born. Yeah. Because what he is is an evil goofy Canadian, which is a powerful, powerful combo.

13:48Because the thing a part of it is that the goofy Canadian cuts through so much Canadian horseshit that everybody just wants everything to be okay. They all want things to be okay. They don't want to be a lot of drama. They want to get along with their fellow man. This guy is always, he always reverts back to goofy Canadian. And they just simply believe in their hearts of hearts that anybody that's that goofy, he can't be going to the end and that wrong. Nice. A good guy. He's a good guy. He's a funny guy. Yeah. They respect, the one thing Canadians respect more than anything else is the power to make them laugh. Yes. He fucking love that shit. It means the world to them. Clifford Olson cuts right to the part of it. Now, I've been listening to that BBC podcast calls from a killer. Mm-hmm. And I've just, it sends chills up my spine. Yeah, because he's talking to these, he's talking to a journalist and he's just so gleeful. He's so happy talking about anything like, oh yeah, I know exactly what I was doing the entire time, but I just didn't give it back. He literally said.

14:48He's like, oh, I know I kill and kids and stuff like that, but I don't give a fuck. Yeah. I mean, I feel victim to it myself a little bit, but I've learned about this guy. Yeah. Occasionally I catch myself giggling and like, I kind of like this guy. Oh yeah. And then you're like, oh, wait, stop yourself. That's his game. And that's how strong his manipulation is. Is that he can reach you even through just reading about his stories. Like you could imagine being in the same room with him. Yeah. Like he could charm almost anybody. He's an incredibly, incredibly dangerous person. He's, he's a largely, I'd say he's the most dangerous Canadian criminal live right about. Yeah. Yeah, because he's dangerous because he is like, imagine the chaos of a looney tunes character. Imagine if Joe Perra was a serial killer. You found out that he killed people everywhere he went. He went on the poor. Great at it. Right. Except for, you know, I think he, you know, he needs, he likes washing his hands too much.

15:50Yeah, sure. Sure. Yeah. But this is, but it's like, it's like a, it's the chaos of a looney tunes character set loose on the world. Yeah. Like an actual, like if you let a cartoon character loose, this is what would happen. And the far darker side of things. People like Clifford Olson, who hold that master manipulator gene, they also have all the makings of a rapist. And Olson was a bisexual who routinely raped men, women, boys and girls. This of course is where the culpability of the Royal Canadian mounted police comes into play. Over the course of this series, we will show that the RCMP's repeated lack of action portrays Canadian law enforcement in the 20th century. I don't know how they are now, but back then they were quite possibly the laziest working for the weekend group of cops in Western history. I just can't, the idea of how little work they did. Yeah. What's cause there's no crime. Well, this is a, this is one of those things that makes my blood boil. Yeah. The concept of, oh, you know, back in the day, we didn't need to lock our doors.

16:53The kids they walk back and forth. There is a literal like conservative coded thing through all of that that allows the shit to fucking happen because it's just not happening to you. Yeah. If you look at this entire area, you killed every fucking indigenous person that was there to be there. Right? And they were all going missing every day when then we're going missing. I wait here. Children are going missing. So it's like, it was dangerous for them already. And it's not just indigenous children. It's like you say like there's no crime, but I'm about to tell you about a lot of crime. Yeah. They happened in Canada. That was one guy. He had so many accomplices. He always had a buddy. You know, there is, there was a lot of crime back then. There was so much fucking crime back then. It just wasn't investigated. It wasn't prosecuted. And it actually, in a lot of times, it wasn't seen as crime. You know, like it was seen as something else. It was seen as their fault. You know, it was something to be blamed. Now, while Clifford Olson was reported for rape again and again throughout his life,

17:56and this is to that point, that's not usually why he went to jail. Usually he got locked up for theft or fraud. But because the RCMP did not take the rape report seriously, especially the reports from the male victims, Clifford Olson gradually was allowed to escalate from rape to murder. It legitimately emboldened him. It did every time. Now, because that got sexier for him. Yeah. Now Clifford Olson discovered that murder was the best way to ensure a rape victim did not make a report. Because even though he didn't go to jail for rape that often, it was still a hassle. Because most of Olson's victims were either teenagers or young kids from poor dysfunctional homes, the RCMP dismissed the disappearances of these victims as just a part of the runaway phenomenon of the 1960s and 1970s. We also forget the child hooker. Yeah, yeah. That's what they're cutting you keep saying. It's like, ah, well, he was just a hooker. Yeah. And it's like, she was 14 years old. Yes. Well, this dismissal of missing kids is simple runaways, enabled dozens, if not hundreds of serial killers, to rack up high body counts in Canada and America during the mid 20th

19:02century. Everyone from Dean Coral to John Wayne Gacy took advantage of the gross indifference cop showed towards missing working class kids during those decades. And Clifford Olson was no exception. In fact, it's rumored that Clifford Olson may have even dabbled in snuff films like it was rumored that John Wayne Gacy and Dean Coral dabbled in snuff films, although that's pure speculation. Yeah. I think he'd be able to like get the camera worked together. Yes, you're unique. I'm not a producer. What I need here is I need a DP. I need a guy to do catering. This is all a lot of pressure on me. Why do I have to be a multi-afe in it? I don't want to move to Toronto. I don't need the media sphere. Oh, excuse me, Toronto. Toronto. I want to move to Toronto. I want to stay in Vancouver. Now after Clifford Olson began to get a taste for the act of murder itself, his killings evolved to reflect the chaos and cruelty that Olson applied to his everyday life as a selfish, unfailing, petty criminal.

20:03His chaotic, haphazard method of committing murders ended up drawing those murders out for hellishly long periods of time. I can't remember the last time I read about murders that would last this long. And eventually, Olson got to the point where he was hammering nails into victim's heads while they were still alive. That of course is just a small preview of the depravity you can expect over the next few episodes. And it also tells you, again, it's fucking cartoonish. Yeah. Why are you just doing that to hang pictures from them? So it's got like a stoutown vibe to it a little bit. A little bit. Is that what those were long ass killings? But this is what, but this is a different, those were long and drawn out on purpose. Clifford Olson's were long and drawn out just because it was almost like an ADHD thing. Like, ah, okay, let me try this. Oh, let me try this. Oh, okay, that doesn't work. Yeah, the Snowton boys were literally torturing people over a long period of time.

21:07Yeah. He was just too curious for his own good. You know what? That's a good way to put it. It's a, again, again, you can't help it. It has to be, it's still a little cute. It's like, oh, he's just so curious. I'm just a fun guy. I'm just a little kitty cat. But before we get into the story of how Clifford Olson got to the point of hammering nails into the skulls of living humans, let's acknowledge our source for today. For this one, we used a classic true crime paper back called Predator by Peter Worthington, which was based on court records and extensive interviews conducted with Olson himself. But since some of this information comes from a master manipulator, you can take some of these stories with a grain of salt. But interestingly, Clifford Olson was one of those rare serial killers. He really wasn't all that interested in justifying his actions. And his extremely Canadian words, he really didn't give a fac-about-anything. Wow. It doesn't care. He really wants to talk about it. He doesn't care. No, he thinks it's fun. Yeah. Additionally, quite a bit of his story is backed up by either evidence or testimonies from

22:10the people who are unlucky enough to have Clifford Olson in their lives. So this story is actually pretty fucking thick with detail. It is a fascinating tale of a pure sociopath. So without further ado, let's explore the story of Clifford Olson, aka The Beast of British Columbia. Eeeh. It's like... Eeeh. It's a Clifford Olson was born New Year's Day in Vancouver, BC in the year 1940. Going back to the Industrial Pollution Theory of Zero Killer proliferation we covered in our Gary Ridgeway series, Olson was born near the tech-commingco smelter outside of Vancouver, which has the dubious distinction of being the largest lead-zinc smelter in the world. No way. Which really nice is that then his placenta could have kept him safe from an X-ray machine. Ha! Ha! Vancouver, of course, was one of Canada's zero-killing hot spots in the 20th century. In addition to Clifford Olson, it was also the home of the aforementioned Robert Picton,

23:11who picked up and killed over 50 sex workers from the East Hastings area of the city in the 1990s. The dead bodies were fed to the animals on Picton's Pig Farm and the meat that came from the pigs raised on human flesh was sold to unsuspecting customers. It bears repeating, I know we've said this a hundred times, but this is incredible. It is speculated that Picton's meat, contaminated by brain-destroying preons, might be responsible for cursing Michael J. Foxx with Parkinson's disease. Ha! Took out a back to the future four away from us. Ha! Ha! Now, as opposed to his fellow Pacific Northwesterner Gary Ridgeway, Clifford Olson was not abused by his parents during childhood aside from a heavy helping of neglect. In fact, Clifford could have benefited from a heavier hand in the parenting arena, but Clifford Olson was one of those rare kids who was actually born smarter than his parents. His parents were fucking dulls. His father Clifford Sr. was a soldier in the Canadian Army with limited talents in ambition. He didn't care for children and mostly ignored his son, but after World War II, Clifford

24:16Sr. worked as a milkman driving an actual horse-drawn milk wagon. Wow! And Clifford would sometimes ride along on these milk deliveries. Fun! It's here that Clifford learned at a very early age how to spot opportunities and how to take advantage of any situation, no matter where he was, or where he was. Or what he was doing from birth almost. The only thing on Clifford's mind was crime. That's fun! For example, while on these milk runs, the preschool Clifford began by stealing change from his father. The uncriminal then figured out how to steal money from the houses where the milk was being delivered. But he finally discovered that the biggest score was the other milk wagons full of cash that the other milkmen would leave unattended at the end of a long work day. This is all when Clifford was still a very young boy. He's like four or five. And this was a pattern he would follow throughout his life. When Clifford found an opportunity, he would push it as far as he could until he got caught.

25:17And if he never got caught, he just keep pushing it. This unfortunately, when one day apply to the escalating cruelty in his murders. Well, he straight-up said it's not a crime unless you get caught. Yeah. It's very interesting to see somebody that kind of thinks like this from the very, very get. I don't know if just like his father, like, obviously this is controversial, I don't know if his father just like wailing on him would have made him better. No, no, it would have. It would have done nothing. But he obviously has this kind of this, I would say almost like an ability to just not care. And if you've left the money out, it's kind of on you. You quote unquote, left your money out. 90's e-blames everybody else. Of course. Yeah, you should have done that. Yeah, for me. She left it out for me to take. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is an all in one website platform that helps you stand out online. Yes, that's right. You don't have to smash your face for the hammer. You can just start a business.

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28:28and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash left. For kids summer means freedom and as adults summer still means freedom thanks to mint mobile's summer sale. Right now all of mint's plans are $15 per month even unlimited for yourself from big wireless and switched to mint for high speed data and coverage on the T-Mobile 5G network. I'm free! Mint mobile has freed me freedom freedom at last. It's taken so long I've been bound in the shackles of old cologne companies and I've been whipped with their prices back and forth but now that I'm free I can go and vote for brand new brand new policies on phones by myself things that I want things like $15 a month for unlimited data plans. That's what I want and mint mobile gives me the freedom and need to get your new wireless

29:29plan for just 15 bucks a month. Go to mintmobile.com slash LDODL that's mintmobile.com slash LPO TL. Get your wireless bill do 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash LPO TL that's it. There's no catch. Up front payment at $45 for $3.90 for $6 or $180 for $12.00 plan required $50 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy includes up to 20 gigabytes hotspot. Capable device required availability speed and coverage ferrets. See mintmobile.com Now while Clifford was not abused by his parents he was unfortunately the victim of a creepy uncle. Clifford said that his earliest memory involved his 15 year old uncle and a cousin who all played together when Clifford was just four. So the uncle told Clifford and his cousin that he had a brand new uncle game to play. There's so many uncle games. Sure, that's a big first.

30:30The sick is just keeping it safe. We're just going to refer to this as the uncle game. Yes, we get because sometimes an uncle game just involves you doing like reverberates for $69. Yeah, it's a lot of stuff in an uncle game. Yeah, don't play uncle games. No, don't play uncle game because it's either sex or just gambling. So either way, you know, it's not going to have a barrier in a hook. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's an uncle task. Thank you. Yeah, an uncle chore. Actually, I kind of now want to I want to write this screenplay just called the uncle game. No, I don't want to. Oh, maybe it's directed by Paul. They're very good. Yeah, it's kind of take place. Yeah, yeah. The kids were of course eager to play the uncle game. So the uncle had the kids take off their clothes and lay naked on top of the uncle's body. The game? Well, the game was for the kids to not tell anybody about it. Oh, yeah. And you win the game by keeping your mouth shut. And if you win, you get a shiny nickel. Oh, yeah, I mean, a nickel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

31:31Like many kids who were abused in this way, Clifford would later play the uncle game with young kids when he got to be a teenager. That's not fair. You would, however, how is it? What do you mean that's not fair? He's not an uncle. Yeah, he doesn't get to play uncle games without the actual title. And I also think if you were 15 year old uncle, there should be a new term for it. Hmm. I think for below 18 and yes, you are an uncle. You should, there should be another child like uncle term for that because uncle, to me, is a man that drinks and drives. You just call baby uncle. You're right. Baby uncle's great. I was an uncle when I was 15. Yeah, you were a baby uncle. Yeah, but then by the time my, but by the time my nephew, Kellyn was old enough to call me uncle Marcus, I was 18. So it was okay. That is a, yes, that would have been fine. Yeah. Well, Clifford would maintain that his own experience playing the uncle game had no effect on him all at all. Out, out, because in his words, quote, there was no penetration. Okay. Okay. That's a whole thing is that that's more of a father's game.

32:34Yeah, if it happened to me, I'd probably say the same thing. Of course. Yeah. I was five. We were just stacking. Yeah. Yeah. It was more uncle stacking. That's all it was. It could have been worse. Doesn't mean you weren't abused. Yeah. Yeah. Clifford Olson specifically does not look inward. No. He does not look inward at all. There is no, there is no inner Clifford Olson. You're absolutely right. He is an entirely external person. Yeah. Clifford Olson was one of those people who were born with a natural talent for manipulation. Clifford was so clever that even as a child, he dominated and controlled his entire household and everything was all to achieve his personal goals of self gratification. Carmelied in the master's. That's what sells it. Carmelied. Yeah. Clifford did have the cartoon mouse voice. He had an engaging smile. He laughed easily. He was relatively handsome in a 1970s sort of way and he was impossibly cheerful.

33:35As such, he was a master at charming his way out of trouble by displaying an angelic face that had just a touch of irresistible mischief. Will you hold my dinosaur? Stefan. This mischief, however, was encouraged by his family because the low lives who raised him laughed with joy and approval. Anytime Clifford did something that was clever but ultimately dishonest. For example, when Clifford was five years old in the year 1945, his mother and uncles were hanging out drinking beer when they found themselves running low on the side. So what do you do? You tell the kid, go find more beer. Yeah. They told Clifford, hey, go get the beer. And if you bring us back a beer, we'll give you a dollar. So Clifford immediately devised a plan to scam the adults. He gathered up a bunch of empty bottles and bottle caps, filled the bottles with water, and hammered the caps back on. Then delivered the beer bottles full of water and said, give me a dollar.

34:38That is amazing. That's amazing. But like, did they also give him money for the beer? Yeah. Well, they just said he probably got two times money. Well, no, it wasn't that they gave him money to go buy beer. It's like go look around the house and see if there's any beer. Oh, I forgot it's canon. It's canon. Yeah. It's just beer laying around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he could just break into somebody's hut, I guess, and then just steal their beer from their beer shed or whatever. No, no, no, no, no, no. The adults, of course, discovered Clifford's little ruse immediately. But instead of calling out his dishonesty, they burst into laughter, praised his ingenuity. You are the funniest little fucker. Oh my God, you're so smart. Oh, man, I couldn't think of a scam like that. You are the funniest little fucker in the world. And they gave him his dollar. Clifford later said that this incident became cemented in his mind. He'd not only avoided trouble for trying a scam, he'd also gotten praised from adults for cheating and he got paid. Yep. I mean, it's so hard when a kid does something wrong.

35:41And that's hilarious. Well, that's the thing. Yeah, but that's different when it's like actually funny when it's like a scam. You're like, oh, this is kind of funny. It's super funny. It's super funny. I would have been elated by this. Yeah, no, I'm just with you. I would too. But the thing is, you say like, yeah, that's really funny, but no, you don't get your dollar. You tried to scam us. You don't get rewarded for trying to scam people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny. It's funny. It's clever, but yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's gangster behavior. Exactly. But even though Clifford was smarter than both of his parents, his mother, Leona Olsen, was certainly an influence in the manipulation department. She was a passive, subdued woman who worked as a meat packer. And she was, yeah, she did. And she was brilliant at finding a path to manipulating people and to giving her what she wanted. Mom? But since Clifford was smarter than his mother, Leona, she found that the easiest way to deal with them was to just give him whatever he wanted.

36:41Or failing that, she could bribe him into being good. Clifford, therefore, became such a mama's boy that when he grew up, it's believed that he actually talked to his mother in great detail about the murders he committed. But by that point, Leona Olsen was so intimidated and terrified of her son that she simply listened and did nothing to alert the authorities to her son's heinous crimes. At the very least, she may not, he may not, like we don't know for sure if he went in a full detail, but it's not he probably did. At the very least, she did have enough information to go to cops and say like you need to lock this guy up. Mom, don't do that. No, I'm so, you know, it's hard because my mom would lie to the police for me, but I told her she should. Really? Really? Yeah, but she would. She can't wait. My mom would have went down for me. That's for damn sure. No, it would have been you only, because then guess what she could do, guilt you from jail for the rest of your life. Yeah. Then have control over your life from jail, but she's fucking kingpin. Your mom would go down for like one of your acquaintances that she met once.

37:45Yeah. She is like go to jail like that. I think she is. Love the lie to police. That's, you know, that comes from growing up in Elizabeth, New Jersey. Yeah. Yeah. But by the age of five years old, Clifford Olsen already had a reputation in his neighborhood as a habitual criminal, but as it used to go back in those days, Clifford was both a nuisance and a local legend. Canadians love their mischievous boys. God they do. Clifford Olsen quickly figured out that crime could be converted into popularity if you knew where and how to spread the money. For example, when he was just five years old, he stole $200 Canadian from his uncle's wallet then used that money to buy all the local kids' ice cream at the local soda fountain. He's the mayor of kids. Yeah. $200 bucks in 1945 too. Holy shit. Take it down to my wallet. I would have beat him to fucking death. Yeah. He's like, he's alive. Yeah. Clifford then led the parade of happy children to the barbershop. And this is such a five year old thing.

38:45Come go watch me have a haircut. Yeah. It's like a plot line from the little raster. It is. Yeah. But when the barber noticed the fat wad of cash in the five year old's pocket, he called the cops fairly fairly got the soda fountain didn't give a shit. Yeah. He'll take your fucking money. We like it. Wow. Is there rich is kid in the world. Wow. Where are you from? Where are you? Where have you come from? A little job. I got you from Edmonton. That's the mid city. Clifford was busted. But the only thing he learned from this experience never flash a cash. Because he flash cash, people are going to know he's done something wrong. Start asking questions. Yeah. You learn lessons when you're growing up. Yeah. This is important. Don't flash cash. Yeah. Keep that on. People are going to look for marks every day. Now, considering how we're talking about Clifford on this show, his childhood criminal past was not limited to petty theft. Clifford was an inherently violent child who was particularly cruel with the smaller and

39:46weaker kids. He like threaten another kids with knives, but always knew how to use his puppy dog eyes to disarm adults and deny everything when he was confronted with childhood knife crimes. But because he could talk his way out of trouble, Clifford soon learned that he could force girls into the bushes with his trusty knife where he touched them and make them untress. This wasn't just with strangers either. He routinely did it with both his sister and her friends. Clifford's childhood violence even bordered on murder at times. Once Clifford found an abandoned wood stove, so he locked a small child inside and lit a fire. Just to see what would happen. The child, thankfully, was saved from being burnt to death only because some nearby adults hurt him screaming for help. Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! I'm trying to watch the hockey game! What happened out of you? Oh, you're just playing Hansel and Gratel.

40:47That's more little game for kids to play. Because it does feel like they all saw him do stuff and they were like, you Clifford, you better watch yourself. You're going to hurt yourself one day. You're going to really get yourself into some trouble this day when you held a little girdle at knife point and make her undress and touch her body. You might get in trouble someday for that. You do that two more times. We're going to take your knife. We're going to take the knife. You do that two more times. I'm going to put two blacked-out eye glasses on you. So you can't see what you're looking at. And then let's see you try to do it with a fork. Let's see you try and do it with a fork. Now smoke the whole pack. I'll have come back to just smoking the whole pack. The whole violence was obviously a part of Clifford Olson's childhood. He focused on petty crime for decades before finally graduating to murder. For Clifford, crime was just about immediately gratifying whatever desire he had. And it never mattered who the victim was or how vulnerable they might be.

41:50No conscience. No, I've never seen a lack of conscience to someone like this. It's a Ted Bundy level. That's kind of how I put him. One of Clifford's favorite childhood targets, for example, was a local blind street vendor. Clifford would offer to help out the blind man with this and that, but Clifford's ultimate goal with this was to switch out the blind vendors higher denomination bills with single dollars. Clifford was also incredibly brazen with his scams. Sometimes he would steal fruit from the trees in a person's backyard, then go around to the front door, knock, and try to sell their own fruit back to them at a heavily discounted price. You got to do it to the neighbor. At least he picked my fruit. Yeah, that's kind of the hardest part there. But I will say about like, what's your not the bills for the blind man? That is a really brave thing to do because a blind man has a stick. Yeah, man. You can beat the fuck out of you. I see I saw Daredevil Clifford's got a knife. Yeah, that is true. Blind man can't tell. Blind man don't know. Yeah, but also he's a little boy sticks longer than the knife.

42:51That's the way. You could. You could. The thing about Clifford. The thing about Clifford. We have to be wearing a bell or something. That's easy. The thing about Clifford Olson was that he always shared his ill-gotten gains with his friends because he had learned at the age of five with the aforementioned ice cream caper, just how useful sharing the wealth could be when it came to manipulating other people. That's a Peter Teele lesson that he understood as a little boy. Yep. Like a lot of successful sociopaths and narcissists, Clifford Olson knew that being liked was key if he wanted to keep getting away with bad shit. And the easiest and fastest way to get someone to like you is to be extremely generous with your money. Clifford therefore learned at an early age that you can buy friendship and loyalty. Any strength in those friendships by being likeable, but to that point, see if I've learned anything it's that people like Clifford Olson are very good at convincing people that right or die is a noble concept when they're in fact just using that loyalty as a shield

43:56to keep doing bad shit without consequence or at least that's their hope. Unfortunately Clifford Olson learned this technique at an early age as these people often do. He took advantage of people's loyalty and friendship throughout his entire fucking life, but he got away with it for so long because he was a master at presenting himself as a likable and generous person. And he also had the other inner gift of this type of manipulative person is that he understood to take the conflict level up to an uncomfortable place where even if you go to challenge this person, what they would say is he'd transform into another person in a second. In a second, you would go from the guy you knew to a dangerous person. It scares the shit out of you. Yes, it's a true gangster move. Yep. Now by his teenage years during the early 1950s Clifford Olson had his own little gang of Canadian hoodlums. These kids would burglarize homes by crawling through old-timey milk doors at night while people were sleeping so they could rifle through their belongings.

44:59I see Norwegian characters out of a folk tent. It sounds like the- Someone stole a cheese. It sounds like the Icelandic characters, the Yule boys, the Yule Lads. You didn't leave an acorn out for the engine for the hydrogen stiker. They are you to take on our first newly born cheese. I'm going to go check out the Reykjavik grapevine sometime. We got a new website. That's great. We got newties in there. We don't know. We don't have newties. You don't do a page six girl. No, we don't do a page six girl with a Reykjavik grapevine. I'm part of it. I'm part owner of a quite proud of it and the papers fucking fantastic right now. Reykjavikgravine.com. Check it out. You have such a collection of old pornography. You can just start slipping it in there. Yeah, but- Well, next time I talk to Juntion McCall, I'll fucking ask him. Yeah, where's the porn in this? But that's what Clifford did for money. Mostly he just fucking cost chaos. He'd shoot his 22 rifle at airplanes or boats for no reason.

46:02That's fun to tell. This one's incredible. He would steal weather balloons, tie fireworks or flares to them, light the fucking fused and then just send it up in the air and he's just creating these flying fire starters. Sounds Florida. Yeah, it does. Yeah. But as far as professions went, Clifford often got jobs at places where shady ship was already going down like his job at the local horse track. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. If you're fucking 12, 12 years old, getting hired at the horse track. That's incredible. Yeah, so much fun. This is a- I've been seeing- Little too many parallels in my own life. He's got a lot of time at the horse track. He's a child. But you have a conscious and traumatized you. Yeah, I guess so. And I spent a lot of time at the horse track too, and Riyotosa Downs, but because my grandfather was a security guard at the race track, he always wore a fake mustache. I was one of the few like tiny children that they let place bets.

47:02My grandfather owned ten horses. And there he goes, like, oh, that's Herbskin. We don't take the bet. He'll yell at us. Yeah. I want the point five dollars. I'm a rumpety rump. Everyone, you must be a bitch. You're- Oh, how big are you? How fat are you, little boy? I'm on five dollars on hot dogs, little point test. All right, huge boy. Don't destroy the boot. Man, looks like a child. Girl, girl, be in it. Well Clifford's paying job at the track was to walk the horses after races to cool them down. This job's known as a hot walker. This however, was just a front for the scams and thefts that made Clifford the real money. And keep in mind, we're talking about a 12-year-old boy here. Clifford often stole wallets from the racetrack grooms. Those are the guys who took care of the horses. But his biggest marks were the gamblers. Following the inevitable celebration after a race was over, Clifford became a master at

48:05stealing winning tickets from people right out of their hands, then he would disappear into the chaos of the crowd. It's like a Charlie Chaplin movie. Yeah. It really is kind of a good move. It's a great move. No, it's an amazing move. No, that's the thing. That's why the whole time you're like, God damn it, he's really good at it. No, he's doing it. My time at the track, I would brush the horses and they'd buy me ice cream. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, the horses would go up and they'd be like, oh, right, I'm going up to the horse. Yeah, they're butter scott. Hello, kid, I don't like it. That's fine. Oh, the police. And so by 1956, Clifford had decided that his would be a life of crime. Because after flunking out of the seventh grade, twice, he quit school completely. Starting at the age of 16, Clifford Olson lived a life based solely on scamming and stealing. And he did so on a near daily basis. Yeah, you always got to have a second skill.

49:07Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now, right around the time Clifford quit school, he had sex for the first time and the act unlocked the true evil that lived within Clifford Olson. It was said that after having sex with his sister's friend, he became, quote unquote, sex crazy. And every person who knew him back then said that was the only thing Clifford ever wanted to do from that point forward. It took, I mean, yeah, when we're all 16, yeah, we're all obsessed with sex, but it was pathological to a dangerous level. Clifford also learned early on that he could pressure people into having sex with him. Once he caught a bunch of kids, sneak it around the racetrack. He chased all the kids off, except for one young girl. Clifford pressured into having sex with him at the track. But the racetrack life ended after Clifford's boss caught him forging a $400 check. But presumably because the boss just liked Clifford so darn much, no charges were filed.

50:07Clifford didn't even get in trouble when he and his friend Dave stole a truck from the racetrack, then used that truck to steal a shitload of wine. Well, you got to leave one case of the line in the truck and no one cares. You can't work any other good criminal fucking tip. Honestly, I think partially it's just they are like, here kids have in whatever. You know, everybody steals a truck and steals a bunch of wine. That's what you do. Here kid. Honestly, especially back then, especially in the 50s and 60s. I guess. I don't think every child burgled. No, only the coolest. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. That's a problem. It took a surprisingly long time for Clifford Olson to actually run a foul of the law itself. In 1957, Clifford was 17. He was finally caught breaking into a furniture store by an off-duty cop. I'm trying to look at the adamant. I need him for my empire.

51:10The Clifford ran and hid in a blackberry bramble, but he was sniffed out by a neighbor's dog. The rabbit! And he barked and alerted the RCMP officer searching for Olson. Once all the charges were added up, Olson had 17 counts and was therefore sentenced to nine months in the New Haven Borestal institution. This would be just the first of many, many stretches in prison throughout Clifford Olson's life, although this stretch would have a decidedly British flayer. He liked prison. By the way, I think he liked everything. Yeah, he just had fun. He didn't care. He liked everything. He was always happy. He's quite possibly the happiest person ever exists. He talks about prison as a way for him to not have to work. Yeah. Also, I got to say, I never heard the word Borestal before, but it scares the shit out of me. You got to be careful. The doctor says anything about a Borestal test. Yeah. You got it. Okay. All of them. I'll remember. This institution used the Borestal system, which was created in England as a way to write

52:12the path of juvenile delinquents before they landed in adult prison. Basically, it's a boarding school crossed with a prison. For all you punk fans out there, Shams 69 wrote a classic punk song about doing time in a Borestal institution called Borestal Breakout. The part of the reason why Shams 69 wrote Borestal Breakout is because it was extremely easy to break out of a Borestal institution. Clifford, for example, lasted just four months in a Borestal institution before he and a couple of other delinquents just walked away from the facility and found their way to civilization by following the nearby train tracks. Eventually Clifford and his friends came upon a speedboat on the Frazier River. But since none of them knew anything about boats, they tried hotwiring it like a car because they knew how to steal a car. But what they ended up doing is they tried spray in primer like onto the engine, caught the engine on fire. So they all took off their shirts and they put out the blaze with their shirts. But then the speedboat was running. So they took the motorboat all the way down the river to Vancouver until the motor died.

53:15The boys abandoned the boat and Clifford simply went home. But for reasons that are unclear, his father convinced Clifford to turn himself in. So Clifford was sent back to prison for an additional two years. His escape and re-arrest, however, was a damn good story. So it was covered by the press in the Vancouver Sun. This was the start of Clifford status as a criminal celebrity known for prison breaks and it was all before Clifford was even 18 years old. I actually think that his infamy as a part of the reason why he felt they need to diversify why he became the serial killer that he did. Sure. So he could be known for more things. Yes, keep up with it. Yeah. In 1959 Clifford was still in prison and it was there that he discovered that he was bisexual. Now, a lot of gay serial killers over the years, like John Wayne Gacy, tried saying they were bisexual because while they couldn't deny they had sex with men, there was no way that John Wayne Gacy could deny that.

54:16He still just couldn't admit that he was gay for one reason or another. Well, that was also the line he used to his wife. That was his line. Yeah. It was the line he used to his buddies. That was the line he used to get guys to fuck him. Was by saying like, oh, you know, we fuck whoever, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so, but the bisexual thing allows because John Wayne Gacy was so obsessed with his masculinity that allows him to like, no, no, I'm taking it on. I'm taking that this is the thing I choose. Yeah, he would say like there's animal sex and there's love sex and with men it's animal sex. It don't matter. But the thing is Gacy was fucking gay. He's called super gay. Yeah, it's a name. But thank you. But I do believe that Clifford Olson was truly bisexual and here's why. Why I see it based on everything we know about zero killers, anyone can do a bit of a true crime sexuality test and you can apply it to zero killers or even yourself. You ready? I'll do it. All right, put aside your morality for just a second. Oh, fuck. Okay.

55:16Turn it off. Turn it off completely. Morality gone. We're an purely intellectual exercise here. Ask yourself, what gender a person would you murder if you were to become a serial killer? Eddie, you're, I go for job more than gender. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Well, but your answer, I believe is priests. We'll tell you quite a bit about your sexual orientation. I could kill a nun. Okay. But depends on the nun. Some of them are nice. But then there was two nuns out of the 10 that were out by school that were fine. Oh, but I'm just saying without morality, I have morality. I don't want to kill. Put in your morality aside, but I would kill a bunch of nuns. My point here is that with serial killers, with serial killing, it is attached so much to sex and people tend serial killers kill people that they are attracted to. Gacy, for example, only killed men. So it's pretty safe to say that Gacy was gay.

56:19But the fun, he only killed women. Very rarely. Very rarely do serial killers change up victim type. Yeah. And that's the thing. Clifford Olson killed and raped both genders with a slight preference for women. So we can surmise that Olson was that rarest of serial killers, the bisexual. Or it's the idea that what she kept saying, which is like, it's sort of like bisexual. Like there's something else that is probably just psychopath. And you just look at people as a collection of holes. Well, that's what I was just about to get into. Were there any other killers that killed both? Who else killed both? Actually, I guess technically the Atlanta child murderers, there's a little bit of that. Yeah, kids, yeah. No kids are told that's a totally different thing. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I'm trying to see who did it. Interesting. We can't even think of it. Yeah, very. It's like it really does. And that's kind of my entire point. Andre Chickatillo, he would go back to kids.

57:20He would go back or forth between kids, like literally children. And that was about opportunity and power. Yeah. So you think of the hammer maniacs? They were just whoever was around. I would say, but that's the thing that's more about like thrill killing. Outer fish, technically boys and girls. But that's kids. That's kids. That's the thing. It's kids. So there's three. Yeah. Four, with bisexual. Yeah. That's the thing. It is about sexual preference. It's about like what they're attracted to. All those guys like outer fish, they kill kids because they're attracted to kids. And we're all skills couples. Yeah. Yeah. Those are something else. Kills couples. Yeah. And that's a whole different thing. But when we're talking about sexually motivated crimes, yeah. It's whoever they kill, that's where they are. That's where their orientation lies. That's who they like. It's very interesting. I never thought of it that way. Well, that's great. I'm glad I could open your mind. Yeah. Am I Tushy? You're gonna fuck him? You're gonna fuck him?

58:21Not yet. Not yet. Yeah. Now, as far as how Clifford Olson was awakened to his sexual nature, it was quite unfortunately through rape. He said that while he was in prison, he walked in on two young men raping a 16-year-old named Lauren Johnson. And Clifford's immediate reaction was to- That's a great idea. Oh, that's the best I've ever seen. Yeah, as immediate reaction was to join in. Clifford Olson's personal views on his sexuality were predictably reprehensible. It's kind of like what you were pointing at earlier. He never considered himself gay, by, or even straight. He said that he didn't care who he had sex with as long as they had a hole and they were quote, as young as possible. FBI profiler, John Douglas, was actually of the opinion that Clifford didn't even see his sexual partners as actual humans. He just saw them in their so-called holes as a means to masturbate. It's like my character from Percival from Rutherford. Oh, yeah. Having sex with a woman is like just like masturbating with herself. That's right. That's for cranking out more men.

59:22For cranking out more men. I understand. I remember the jokes. That's funny now, though. Yeah. He's a... But concerning Lauren Johnson, Clifford's first male rape victim, Olson did somehow become good friends with Lauren afterwards, or at least as good a friends as two guys could be after this sort of introduction. That was crazy, huh? Yeah. And I got out of hand. Hey, Lord, tell him how the story of how we met. Tell him the story of how we met. He is his crazy. I was getting tagged to him by two merbos. I just came in. I just came in. I just came in. I know we ended up having a, during the downtime we ended up finding out we had a lot in common. Yeah, he grooms men at my wedding. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it tells you anything, Clifford and Lauren would later meet up on the outside and go on crime sprees together. According to Clifford, the two of them shared a bond because after the rape Clifford said

1:00:23that he and Lauren got prison married in front of all the other prisoners in the prison auditorium and they even exchanged rings made from copper pipe. That's beautiful. I mean, I, this, I asked our researcher Joel, I asked Joel, like, dude, could you like try to find any other example of this ever happening in the history of man? He found no evidence of this happening whatsoever. So this could just be in Joel's words, a Clifford Olson original. Wow. You know who reminds me of Richard Speck. Oh, yeah. It'll be just because Richard Speck got put those tits in. If they knew how much fun I was having, they'd turn me loose. But that is also this is manipulation tactics. Yeah. Right? Like, this is all he doesn't care about Lauren. No. This was about having a set bitch in prison, like literally not getting fucked with by anybody else. And you got a guy that wants to do crime with you after the fact.

1:01:24He's just fucking bringing them in. It's very practical. And not just that. Like, it's, he's providing entertainment for the rest of the prisoners who like him, who makes them like him even more. They never get to go to weddings. Yeah. Yeah, how hard that is. Never get to go. You never get to spend a bunch of money and stay in a city. You don't want to be in. You never have to spend a bunch of money on a gift and fucking go to a stupid ass wedding. We're going to meet all these fucking people. And that's you. Well, yeah, he does. Yes, in prison. Yeah. But in prison, it's right there. You don't get to travel. And like a true bisexual, he picked the only guy named Lauren. Wow. Wow. Well, discovering a sexuality was indeed a milestone. Clifford Olson mostly spent his time in prison learning how to be a better criminal by picking up tips and tricks on more efficient ways to lie, cheat and steal. But according to official records, Olson was considered to be more of a nuisance than a menace. This is just Canadian shit. All together, man. Yeah. Nice. Not really a menace. He's more of a nuisance.

1:02:24It's like a series of crimes ever escalating. But it's just kind of annoying. Parole granted. Get out of here. He's annoying me. You get out there and do crimes on the street. I'm sick of you doing crimes inside of this prison. It only happens to other criminals. You go out there and do it to a family. Please. We have a nice clean president. We got you out of here. It's a nice prison filled with guys that consensually fuck each other. Well, the assessment of Clifford Olson being more of a nuisance than a menace, that was of course incorrect. Well, Olson often presented his friendly, his personality could quickly change to aggressive and frightening than just as quickly changed back. The worst was when he switched to the part of his personality driven solely by sexual desire, because that part was strongly tied to an urge to physically hurt other human beings. See, the way people described it, even putting aside Olson's violent tendencies, he subjected people to a sort of emotional whiplash, kept everybody constantly off-balance.

1:03:28Olson learned that if he flattered people, then they would quickly trust him. And even if he ended up crossing, hurting or using them, he could easily get them to trust him again using more flattery and more importantly, more generosity. Just a couple hundred bucks, a couple thousand bucks, go a long way to smoothen over any bad shit that he did. He'd buy drinks for people, buy in dinner for people, buy hanging out, pay in for the whole thing, do it all, this kind of big, high-rolder shit. Yeah, what does he give a fuck? He just stole the money that afternoon. Exactly. That's not his money. No, it very, it's, it works. And in the end, the thing that the fine Clifford Olson was that he never regretted his actions, ever. He only regretted getting caught, because the way Clifford thought about it, if he didn't get caught, he hadn't actually done anything wrong. This podcast on the left is excited to collaborate with Audible. Audible has a massive range of ad-free crime fiction, nonfiction and true crime podcasts. You know, there's so many things you could do while you're listening to an audiobook.

1:04:30You can clean up your own personal crime scene, and that's easy to do, and you can learn it all from books. Some people also listen to audiobooks to go to sleep. You could check out podcasts like this American Life titles from True Crime Grates, like Michael Connolly and Agatha Christie and Audible originals like Dr. Death. Look how boy. You can find whatever you're looking for unaudible, plus you can multitask while you do it. Find your next mystery unaudible. Audible. Stories that speak to you. New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com slash left. This is an advertisement from BetterHelp. Making my mental health is crucial, navigating our podcast network through the choppy waters of the culture war. And I just want to say thank you, BetterHelp, for allowing me to see further, see more clearly, hear more dearly, and know the more dearly, BetterHelp.

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1:06:33We're all better with help. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash last pod. That's better at clp.com slash last pod. Chime, chime, give me the chime. Sometimes when you hear a chime, it means that you got to go to church. Other times when you hear a chime, you know that you just save some money. That's right, because chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, and no minimum balance fees. That is amazing. I can't tell you how many times overdraft fees almost ruined my entire life. You think you got $10.51, but then you spend $10.58 at McDonald's and then all of a sudden, you got $40 McDonald's. It ain't fair. Use chime. They think about their customers. They want you to be able to get those products and not get your overdraft fees, not at

1:07:36the deal with these monthly fees. Those things when you're working paycheck to paycheck can ruin your life. All right, you get 5% cash back on a chime card. What are you crazy? You use it for gas. You use it for groceries. All right, you're going to use this and it's going to help you out. Find the millions who are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Hit the chime dot com slash left. That's chime dot com slash left. Sign up now and only takes a few minutes. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required, terms and limits apply, go to chime dot com slash disclosures for details. Chime. Live from North Korea. After being released from prison yet again in 1961, Olsen proved that he truly had no

1:08:40scruples when it came to who was an acceptable criminal target. See, after he moved back in with his parents, Clifford went along with his dad to the Canadian Legion Hall one night. While Clifford's dad and the other vets traded war stories, Clifford somehow, I don't know how he pulled it off, he stole all their watches. Close up magic, never trust them. Clifford's father, that's Cliff Sr., he discovered the watch thefts and he appeared to be outraged. But since the whole Olsen family were fucking dirt bags, Cliff Sr. fucked over his son instead of turning him in. After finding out where Clifford had stashed these stolen watches, Cliff Sr. just sold the watches and kept all the money for himself. And I'll tell you another thing, Buster. All right, you'll all be stealing nothing ever again. You're going to smoke that whole pack. And you're going to smoke the whole thing. And you're going to drink the whole bottle after that. You're going to drink this whole bottle of whiskey. And you're going to take those watches and you're going to tell all the time.

1:09:43And then you're going to take my keys. And you're going to drive down to the FW and say I'm sorry. But obviously, what they like all take their watches off, like together and put them in the bag. I have no idea. That's what I mean. I don't know how he managed to see all their watches. You know, we all take our watches off. He won't know when to go home. Listen, this is a no watch party. This is a no watch party. No alarms. No stop watches. No seconds. No minutes. Only hours, which is our time to spend together. Those guys are still drinking there to this day. Now you fucking we're going to do our Daisy chain like we do every week. Maybe in a Canadian Legion hall, it's like in Vegas that there's no clocks in the casinos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If we don't know what time it is, then old Barbara can't get mad at me for not coming home. That's cool. That's information I didn't have. I've never seen Cliff seniors prison record. So this next part, this is a bit of speculation. From what it seems like Clifford Olson's parents, they may have started doing cons and

1:10:48scams later in life because they saw how much money Clifford made being on the wrong side of the law. As I said, Clifford dominated his family. So it's possible they just followed his lead. It's jealous of him. Yeah, for example, a few months after the watch heist, Cliff senior was arrested for running a bingo scam with Clifford's mother at the very same Canadian Legion hall where Clifford had stolen the watches. God damn Olson. God forsaken Olson's. Now a bingo scam, that sounds like small potatoes, but these bingo games were fucking huge. Oh, yeah, no, bingo is not small potatoes. There's lots of money in bingo. My mom would play bingo every Sunday and occasionally she'd come home with a grand. Yeah. No, 3,000 people would show up to all to these games, $10,000 jackpot. And that's $10,000 in 1961. So Cliff senior talked his way into being the bingo caller, which put him in control of the bingo balls.

1:11:49Scam work like this. Cliff senior would memorize a bingo card, then hand that card to his wife. The wife would then hand the card to a supposedly trusted relative. Apparently photographic memories kind of ran in this family. They did all have, I mean, if you're a scam artist, successful car, you have to have an incredible memory. Yeah, she got a bingo card. Because you got to keep all the lives straight. I know, but at least it's just like that shows it's like Canadian criminal mastery. Oh, God. You would never be able to memorize a bingo card. And that's how I was making my money. Yeah. I guess. Yeah, after a while, but I would never be able to do that. That's why you were not a great criminal. That wasn't a great criminal. No, you'd lose your money all the time. I remember we went through all the books and we found all the cash as you hid for yourself. That was fun. That was fun. I would get hammered and hide cash myself. My favorite was when I hid the cash in the, the fuse box. Yeah. I was until the power went out and $400 fell on my foot. And I was like, wow. Oh, my God. Well, before the bingo game, this is, and this is the, this is the key part of this scam.

1:12:55Before the bingo game, Cliff Sr. had set up a trap wire door on stage at the bingo table that he could activate with his foot. So once the relative with the memorized card was getting close to a bingo, Clifford would get a signal. And at that point, he would press the trap door and release the fake balls that would lead the relative to a bingo. After winning, the relative would split the cash with Cliff Sr. No Moss. No fuss. This is another example of just a job is easier than this game. Just going to work and leaving work and getting a paycheck. This is very impressive. Yeah. It's too much work. It's hard. It was like carpentry involved. Yeah. It's like, you're all focusing on the wrong things. Yeah. This scam actually worked perfectly. Nobody ever suspected anything fishy about it. But after Cliff Sr. and Leona chose the wrong relative as their accomplice. You can't use the same person every time.

1:13:55That relative decided to keep all the winnings for themselves instead of going with the agreed upon split. It was one of those like, what are you going to do about it? Call the cops on me. Be the shit out of you. Yeah. Well, the family had a good old-fashioned dirtbag falling out over the whole thing. Well, that's my stolen money. I built the trap door. Yeah. And in the aftermath, the relative decided to snitch on Cliff Sr. for the bingo scam and Cliff was duly sent to jail for fraud. I unfortunately don't know, however, if the relative managed to snitch without implicating themselves in the scheme. If I were to guess, I would imagine they tried to, but ultimately failed. And we're also sent to jail. Or they just gave the money back. That's Canadian way. Yeah, I'd just give it back. Go, actually. You know what? In 1961, yep. Okay, here's the money. I'm sorry. Yeah. Now while Cliff Sr. was going into prison, Clifford Olson was just coming out. He'd of course been arrested and jailed again. He was so proud of his dad. Oh, yeah. But after entering the world once more as a 21-year-old red-blooded Canadian, Clifford

1:14:58Olson began a relationship with a 17-year-old named Janet after seeing her at a bus stop and offering her a ride. Now, the tale of Clifford and Janet tells you a lot about Clifford's personality. And it's very important to the overall story. See, Janet later said that she liked how Clifford listened to her. And she liked how he was in her words. She used these exact words exceedingly energetic. But after talking his way into having sex with her, his personality switched midcoitus to violence and he choked her until she almost blacked out. But once Clifford reached his climax, he let his grip loose and he once again became sweet and gentle. And that's that emotional whiplash. Like you never fucking... It's so... Pitch it. Yeah. It's so back and forth that you almost wondered, is it me? Like, do I? Am I imagining this? Because it can be surreal. Yeah. But despite that, Clifford and Janet kept seeing each other. And Janet eventually got pregnant. And then, however, couldn't stay out of jail.

1:15:59And when he was arrested again, Janet put the baby up for adoption. Now Clifford kept calling Janet and writing letters when he was in prison asking for conjugal visits. But because of his dyslexia, he kept calling them congenial visits. They would be. Yes, they would be... It's technically true. Janet, however, dropped Olsen completely and dodged a massive bullet. I don't think I should be with that career criminal. Maybe I should stop eating that career criminal. I don't keep doing that. Yeah, maybe the guy who choked me out the first time we ever made whoopie. Nah. No, I don't know. I may kick him to the curb. I'm going to... Have you had my new boyfriend, Paul? No, I don't know. Because having sex in prison is kind of like vacation. But I prefer to actually be in a hotel. I just feel like having sex on a congenial visit has got to be either. Either has to be the hottest thing you've ever done or the grossest thing anybody can do. It depends on the crime.

1:17:00Because you're an attrailer. And the guy's got to watch you. Yes. Yeah, that is true. And so unless you like that... Which you might. I mean, I would imagine it is both the hottest thing you've ever done and the grossest thing you've ever done at the same time. Porquén Ols dos. Side stories, LPL, GMO.com. Have you ever done a conjugal visit? Let us know. No, another thing that defines Clifford Olsen is his impossibly cheerful personality, which is why I like to compare him with a Joker. So the Joker is just as happy causing chaos in the streets of Gotham as he is sitting in a cell in Arkham, asylum. That smile don't fucking change. Because the Joker knows he's going to get out eventually one way or another. Clifford Olsen had the exact same attitude. Because by the early 60s, Clifford became so good at escaping from prison that people began to refer to him as the rabbit. He had not yet had the Senator title added. Well, yeah, he was still just a page. Yeah. It's worth having the mailroom at this point. Representative rabbit. Yeah. Now, Olsen didn't have a knack for elaborate escape plans.

1:18:03Instead, just like a rabbit, Clifford Olsen relied on escapes of opportunity, which usually came as a result of a nept Canadian jailers who simply didn't care about their job enough to pay attention. But also, if you have no scruples and if you have no conscience making really impulsive decisions that help you in these ways, it's actually much easier. It is. Well, for example, during one stretch in a Saskatchewan jail, Olsen picked the lock to the laundry room, stole some clothes that were not prison issue, and confidently just walked out the jail's front door as the guard gave him a polite wave and said, have a good weekend. It's really nice to see you, Mr. Lincoln. So glad you could visit the jail here. He's like, yeah, I wasn't a bit of a trip. I ran back to the grave. Olsen then hailed a cab to downtown Saskatoon. Oh, yeah. We are. He invited the cabby to lunch. Wow. The cops, of course, soon found Olsen and his hours long escape added another year to

1:19:03his sentence. Clifford, of course, didn't give a fact because he knew that there would always be another opportunity to escape from the, let's say, infamously, porous Canadian prison system. Some of the taxi driver in Saskatoon that will definitely help you fucking get out of jail and just sit and have like a big soup and sandwich with, you know, like big wet sandwich together. Just sit there and he's like, you're not telling him about the time I broke out of jail. I started driving a cab. That was 35 years ago. It is. One of you like didn't have money for the cab because he just broke out of jail and he's like, yeah, I will go. I'll steal you. I also just think that a Canadian will take free food. Yeah. More than an American. More than an American. You could make your way through Canada with several baguettes. Do you think on their Halloween, they don't need candy with wrappers, probably. They just say hand-throated candy corn. Yeah. They just drop it as a children's mouth like the baby birds. And so throughout the early to mid 1960s, Clifford Olsen would commit a petty crime, go

1:20:05to jail, escape, commit more crimes, get arrested again, then escape. And this just happened over and over and over again. During one actual release, Clifford reunited with his prison husband Lauren and the two of them went on a burglary in fraud spree. Yeah, we're cold. We're cold parenting a butt baby right now. It is really beautiful. Olsen was arrested once again, but as he would do over and over, Olsen completely left his partner in crime in the Lerge. He said that the whole loyalty thing, that only applied to Clifford, it did not apply from Clifford to other people. It's because he's a winner. Yes. Well, instead of helping out his friend, Olsen told the RCMP that he alone had information on a drug deal in operation, which he would lead the cops directly to if they promised a lighter sentence. But when the cops took Olsen to the alleged location of the drug operation, it was like an abandoned warehouse or something. Well, the RCMP's back was turned like he's fucking bugs bunny.

1:21:09Olsen just jumps out the window. That's time for Clifford to make his escape. I ran and got wet and go. You see you any it's an albacurk key. He's going. He, that's a Ted Bundy move too. Yeah, he ran away and it took another month for the RCMP to track down the rabbit one more time. Now Clifford Olsen finally served all the time he was given in the 1960s by 1964. But it's speculated that after that 1964 release, he may have committed his first murder, although we don't know for sure if this was indeed Clifford Olsen. In May of 1964, a 12 year old girl named Judy Howey was walking home from school in the lumber town of Skramish. When she didn't make it home that afternoon, a search was conducted and Judy's body was found at 8 p.m. He was 10 feet off a dirt path in the woods and was soon discovered that Judy had been raped and strangled with a man's shirt that was still tied around the neck of her corpse.

1:22:10Clifford Olsen was in the area at the time and the crime does fit his later ammo. But we really can't say for sure that Olsen actually did this, especially because Olsen was very fond of confessing. What we know for sure is that no one was ever arrested for the murder of Judy Howey. Well, when they found him, was he wearing a shirt? That's Canadian thing. He gets a 50 thing man. You don't know. They didn't know until years later. No, no. It actually kind of wasn't put together until much, much later. It's like, oh, he was here at this time. Like they started to look at where he had gone. But they often do his serial killers like look at his path and see which murders match up. I don't believe he would have told that he did it. I kind of think so too. I think it would be a part of the bodies for cash thing that he did. I think if it was indeed, well, but this body was, but that's the thing this body was found. Yeah. So there was no bodies for cash. It would have just been something he talked about. Yeah, maybe. But I don't, I was something he wanted to do.

1:23:11No idea. Did he use jealous? Did he kill anyone else by strangling them with a shirt? Just there was a lot of improvised strangling that it's not necessarily. It's not the shirt that's the important part. It's the improvisational nature of it. I've like, oh, I want to make a strangle with a shirt, you know? Rob Williams could kill a girl with a tie. He could kill a girl with a belt. He could kill a girl with a hose from the garden. He could kill a girl with a... That's just his bill Cosby impression. But that was just, that was the way to go to sleep. McClifford Olson was wanted for robbery and burglary once again by the summer of 1964. But when the RCMP showed up at his door to arrest him, the rabbit once again ran. Up, up, away! Twenty officers were called in to find Olson. But none of them had any luck. Incredibly though, Olson's life was about to experience a massive echo. See the cops brought in two search dogs named Rinti and Tiger. I want a dog name, Rinti. You can get one. His name's after that's what was Rintin's nickname.

1:24:11Oh, Rinti? Rinti, yeah. Oh, I'm familiar. Yeah, maybe I could just call the dog Runti. Well, but just as it had been when he was a kid, Rinti and Tiger tracked Olson directly to his hiding place in a blackberry thatch. Rinti was awarded police dog of the year for his service, which you know, I fuck, fuck Tiger, I guess. I guess like Tiger was there, but fucking Rinti gets all the goddamn credit. I mean, fucking talk to those three astronauts that had a fight to come under that fucking door. All right, now the long conversation. All right, those guys got real fucking butt hurt later on about talking about like, Oh, he's only the second fucking choked on the moon. Yeah, the other guy had to stay with the car. Yeah, the guy said they're making sure nobody stole it. Well, after this crime, Clifford Olson was sentenced to three and a half years in the pen. But after less than a year, he got bored. In April of 1965, the rabbit devised another escape. This one, however, was planned. And I got admit, this is a pretty clever fucking scheme.

1:25:12And also put this to our current and coerced rated listeners. This is a good way to escape from jail. This is a very good way. It's a really good way. So really pay attention. Although it does depend solely on the incompetence and laziness of the prison guard. You know what? You know those guys. You know the bad ones. Yeah, so we're talking to you, O'cala. The scam started with Olson telling the prison doctor that he'd been going to the bathroom a lot and he was constantly thirst. A lot. A lot. The doctor naturally asked for a urine sample. While Olson peed in the cup, he practiced finger with a needle so he could make it look like he was peeing blood. Look at the blood. Look at all the blood in this. Oh my god. Oh my god. This is of course quite serious. So the doctor, who I would imagine, liked Clifford Olson, just as most people did, I got to make sure his dick's okay. He ordered Olson to a nearby hospital for more tests. And once a guard got Olson to the hospital waiting room, he for some reason removed

1:26:13Clifford's handcuffs. Well, they were hard for him to piss without the handcuffs. Yeah, you know what I mean? Because then the guy's got to hold it. But he's sitting in the waiting room. Yeah, but he's sitting in the waiting room. You know how you get a cop to remove your handcuffs? Someone's got to wipe my ass. You going to do it? Oh my god. Oh my god. He's looking shit. He's going to love that too. Yeah. He loves that. He's going to love that. Hearing that you need to shit. I would imagine the cops probably just say, have a dirty ass. They'll just say shit on the, yeah, you're going to shit your pants. That's an American thing. You can't another two nights. Yeah, that is true. Oh, we don't want to muss up the jail cell. Well, after taking out the handcuffs, the guard fucking wandered off for just a moment. I got to go chase a bike. Presumably I would imagine he gave Clifford a very stern like, don't go anywhere now, mister. I'm trusting you. I promise. I'm as good as my work. Also, of course, walked out of the hospital. The second the guard was out of sight. He stole a bicycle and just fucking took off. Again. Again, I'm ceremonious escape possible.

1:27:15Just that sound. Rabbits on the loose. Now, Olsen immediately embarked upon a crime spree after this escape. But Olsen also, he liked having a partner in crime. So he called up his old buddy Dave. That was the guy who would help Clifford boost wine using the truck that they'd stolen at the racetrack. Oh, okay. He stays in touch with people. He does. He's a good friend. And together, the two of them ran even more wild. Clifford, however, finally took it too far with the impromptu robbery of a safeway supermarket. See Clifford Olsen relied on impulse, intuition, and targets of opportunity for his criminal endeavors. So when he got the idea to rob the supermarket, he just pulled out his stolen 22 pistol, a split second later, and got on with it. Now, the pistol wasn't loaded. Clifford just like carrying it around because it made him feel important. But the effect was the same as if it had been full of bullets. But since Clifford was so impulsive with his crimes, he often missed out on big scores.

1:28:18During this safeway robbery, for example, Clifford and Dave came away with little more than a sack containing $89 in coins. They had completely missed the store's cash bag, which was stuffed with $15,000 Canadian. Do your homework. Do your research. Do your mind if you have Nicholas Cage from Raising Arizona. It's a little bit like that. He is just like, he's both, it's the only reason why he's a career criminal just because he doesn't stop doing crimes. Yeah. He's not a great criminal. No, he's not. I mean, he just stopped. He just wouldn't stop doing crimes. It's like that scene in pulp fiction in the diner. It's like, let's do it right here, right now. Why? Yeah. Less preparation than that. Yeah. You know, it's, it's just like, I want to rob the safeway. Boom. Pulls out the gun and let's figure out how to do it. And let's just go along with it. He comes with $89 and fucking change. Imagine how many times it works that we didn't even know about. Yeah.

1:29:18Unfortunately, it's a really good way to rob something because if you case it and you go with someone getting it, finding someone to bust you, it's all thing. What? You're big on giving like tips and tricks today. I'm just saying it. It's just a part of it. I'm in the mode now. Now grabbing a bag full of coins instead of a sack of cash, it's funny. And the small score $89 and coins, it makes the crime. It's, it's cute. It's not. It's cutie fucking rhyming, fucking rhyming, everybody at gunpoint. It's cute. But it's just a bunch of nickels. I don't know if it's going to fucking work. And nickels is a funny word. Therefore, it was picked up by the local media. And because the prison escape was added to the story, Clifford was almost approaching folk hero status in Vancouver. See after the robbery, Clifford and Dave narrowly escaped the cops again and again. You know, they're guys that, you know, you want to root for. And while listening to the police radio at a motel, Clifford and Dave heard the cops

1:30:19describing them as canning, resourceful, and dangerous. They're like an evil spider man and Batman. They're the two handsomeest men I've ever seen. They're like one woman I'd marry. Oh, I love these boys. Hey guys, let's see home. Let's not go after these boys. Yeah, we're higher in fellows, you know. The media also heard these colorful descriptors being discussed over the police band. So, the media went deeper on the story and decided to interview Clifford's mother, Leona. She had some choice words to say about her son offering this assessment. He's a coward by himself and he needs a partner. This is the seventh time he's gotten away from the police, though. You've got to admit, he's quick on his feet. This is turning into trailer park boys. Dude, it is. I got a little thing on trailer park boys at the end. Oh, you do. But yeah, it is. It is. It is.

1:31:20Clifford and Dave were in full outlaw mode by this point so they crossed the American border to the town of Blaine, Washington. The police chief in Blaine stopped Clifford and Dave and immediately pegged them as the Safeway Change Roberts. You're just dumb enough looking. But once again, they're jingling again. No, no, no, no, no, no. We're just pants are falling around their knees. Well, where is that? Does that help? All right, let me buy the TV from you. I'm a Canadian because I'm a coin money. But once again, once the police chief kind of pegged them as the robbers, Olsen rabided out into the woods in the middle of their chat with Washington's finest and he left his butt. Why did the cops with a handful of nickels? Anyway, that's it. Yeah. And of course, he left his buddy Dave to take the wrap. In the woods, Olsen climbed a tree and used his shoelaces to tie his unloaded 22 pistol

1:32:21to the tree branches to hide it from the cops. After climbing down, he jogged a good distance away, dug a little hole for himself with his hands and covered himself up with leaves. Where she said nothing tree. Oh, she said nothing. I know. This is when Clifford becomes the potato. You were never fine. The potatoes. His idea was to literally lay low and tall that he could once again wrap it away. This is a, this is Wiley coyote shit. Yeah. But by this point, the RCMP had been notified. The RCMP had already pinpointed Dave's weakness, the Batman and Robin to his Joker, if you will. The dynamic duo in this case was Rinty and Tiger. Police dogs extraordinary. They're the only police doing a job. They're the only police officers doing a single thing now. Canadian cops are worse than dogs. Yeah.

1:33:21I know. I can't find him. If you want to give it to the dog. Yeah. I'm tired of the fucking dog taking all the goddamn credit around you. Ernie, your sense of smell is shit. You're quite smoking. I got cold. Yeah. You're fucking smelt as hell. My comeback, Dave. And they fucking, these two dogs got brought over the border, found him immediately. Boom, don't. Yeah, because he's hiding in a hole covered in the leaves. There's a perfect place for a dog to find you. Yeah. If dogs are looking for you, that's where they're going to find you. Yeah. This guy's going to be an act of a fine, you know, MoTelver. Yeah. In the tree. In the tree with the gun. This time, both dogs were rightfully awarded for service. That's because Tiger fucking bitch. Yeah. Tiger made a fucking stink about it. Fucking the old one. And Clifford Olson went back to jail. He was sentenced to seven years. But because of the media coverage of his robberies and his escapes, Clifford Olson had become a small time Canadian criminal celebrity.

1:34:23Now, as he said, at this point, he's very much on the level of a trailer park boy when it comes to the crimes for which he's been arrested. And if I'm being honest, I understand trailer park boy's on a whole new level. He's still learning about Clifford Olson. It seems so much more like a reality show. It's a type of Canadian. That's kind of what I mean. It's a stripe of Canadian. Yeah. It's this criminal idea. It's funny, mischievous little crimes, little scams. Again, it's all too cute for anybody to sort of take it as seriously as they need to and tell somebody then murder and rape potential. Yeah. No, it's like in the trailer park, like that's the best joke is when they're having, you know, the scene where they're having the gunfight and then one of them gets shot and they go, time out. Time out. I got shot. Oh, we got a guy heard over here. What's the guy got gations? The guy with the glasses got big time gations. Oh, yeah, that's a whole different. Yeah, bubbles. Yeah, yeah. It's named as bubbles.

1:35:24He just is Clifford Olson. Yeah. Well, let's focus on Ricky and Julian. I'd like to focus on that. Because as opposed to the relatively harmless adventures of Ricky and Julian, Clifford Olson was not just a confused petty criminal with good intentions and a heart of gold. See, during this seven year stint in prison, Clifford Olson would be introduced to the weapon he would come to rely on when he finally began his serial killing spree. In prison, Olson found out what happens when hammer meets skull. And that is where we'll pick back up for part two of this three part series. It will kill you. Yeah, it will kill you put hammer to skull and we'll kill you. You really got to keep those hammers out of those prisoners hands. We'll fuck whiteish hanging out hammers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, it's going to be back into your cry. It is. It is. And you got to keep the hammers out of the skulls. Hammers don't belong in skulls. No, they belong in the workforce.

1:36:24That's right. Patron.com slash last podcast on the left. You can listen to us ad free. You can also go and see last stream on the left live every Tuesday, 5 p.m. PST. Also, you get movie stories, the video on Patreon. Go fucking get it. We're working really hard on it or you're currently watching us on Netflix right now because we're there. And also no dogs in space is back. It's back. It's out. It's out. I think by the time you hear this, we should have two new episodes out. We had New York Dolls parts one and two. How many are doing? It's going to be a five part series with a Coda at the end because the the careers of the New York Dolls after the New York Dolls is a insane story on its own. Keep it. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah. That's Buster. Keep it. Ha, ha, ha. Buster Point Dexter is the least interesting part. I love Buster Point Dexter. But still, it is the least interesting part.

1:37:26You know, Arthur Cain, the bassist was almost murdered during the Los Angeles riots. The Rodney King riots. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Go spoil it. Yeah, go to San New York. And that's the only there's always been this problem. You go to YouTube, LPN TV, BloodBest77 is also wrapping up. Yeah. And go check out the ending episodes. They are fucking fantastic. And we will be coming back with a new announcement very soon about the third season. And also, I'm allowed to now announce within days we will be putting out the day for our re-release of our Halloween sound effects album. Yeah. As we're doing a second printing and it's coming out any day now. Second pressing. Second pressing, thank you. And we will be out all be coming out very soon. And just so you know, it's coming out and those records will be out, will be in your home by Halloween. That's what I'm fucking talking about. The fucking about fuckers. Yeah. So we're coming out. Fuckers. Yeah, and then go to Spotify and check out the song. If you got, if you're worried about it. That's for trash. That's right, man. That's fucking awesome. I'm getting the road.

1:38:26I'm always this weekend on Sunday. I'm going to be in Milwaukee, pretty close to Canada. I'll get some inside information on what's going on. Please do. Please do. The laughing tap with my boy Logan Mets. It's going to be a lot of fun. Tom Goss is going to be hosting the show. We're going to have a great time. October 4th, the Denver at the comedy works. My first show sold out. Can't wait. So I added a second show. So come on with it, dude. That's my birthday show. And then Henry and I are going to be at the Warsaw in Brooklyn on October 9th. We're going to have a lot of fun. I just wanted to play that fucking place. Me too. And then Hartford, Ken, and I'm on October 11th. We're going to have fun. And of course, October 14th in Los Angeles at the straight theater. Slambers comedy bash with Amber Nelson. All kinds of shows coming down the pipe for you, fuckers. Go to editunes.com to see where I'm at. And the reason why y'all are doing the show at the Warsaw is because we are going to be at New York Comic Con this year. That's for her state. 5 p.m. I believe is our five or six. Five or six. You're doing a big panel and signing. October 8th. On October 8th. Yes. On October 8th is the panel and on Saturday is the signing.

1:39:28Yeah, we'll be doing a signing with Z2 Comics to, yeah, because if you haven't checked out the newest edition, you know, like I did that fucking story with Matt Wagner. There's an incredible bonding. So fucking good. There's an incredible Bonnie and Clyde story done by the creative arsonic law that might be one of the funniest things I've ever wrote in my life. And we wrap up our little detective popcorn mini series as well. So please check it out. So I think it's our best one. You're doing a bunch of cool shit. Lot of cool shit. Thank you very much for supporting our cool shit that we do throughout the years. And I love you. Hail Satan. Oh, how keen. Hail Rit Denko. Great Canadian musician was part of the band. Oh, they're in a Hail Rinti. The most awarded dog today. He's a fucking cop. Yeah. Okay. We can, we can, Hail Denko just as long as we don't hail Robby Roberts. Yeah. We all know he'll be okay. I'm not fucking money. I love Denko. Looking to refresh your denim lineup without breaking the bank, that's where all Navy

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