Side Stories: The Secret Sauce

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1:02There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left side stories. That's when the cannonball some started. Side stories. Yes. Oh Happy day everyone. Mitch McConnell. Oh, there he goes. He's fit with life and he smiles for everyone. Quick hungry, give the chicken ball. Oh, yes. Yes, I have to shake the ball. Look at his goal. Look at the line. Look at the best ever. And the day he was born. Nothing is wrong with him. Ever look at the smile. Absolutely mixed. McConnell fit to make decisions. What the f**k. He is fit to make it important to f**king government decisions.

2:02Man, lead us to the secret treasure under the ocean. Oh, I sure hope he finds a nice island girl to sit down with. He finds it all. He's a party. The life of every party. Oh, life is great. Wow, thank you so much. Really great work. Mitch McConnell has made it back to work. So have we. That is honestly one of the hardest things to do is after a long vacation is to get back in the sat. I know it's so hard. So hard, especially when your vacation is in the afterlife. That has to be so hard to be wrenched from the warm light of God. And be forced back to life every day in order to I guess I don't know what he's going to do. Because he's just going to go I guess he's just sitting there. He is to sit there with that stupid great. But I think they put popsicles in his mouth. So his screens days. No, it's because he's it's there's a term called I think it's the lights are on and there's nobody home.

3:06Yeah. That's more we're looking at welcome to side story. So it's a short of a picnic. You're right. He is because he can't eat solid foods anymore. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. I'm Henry Zabrowski. I do it, buddy. And this is a huge, huge day. We didn't think Mitch McConnell would dare. I'd say spoil our fun. Yeah. But no, he is out and about he must might my my my full theory is that he has an old eagle. Santa Rhea, which held hostage in his basement. And then each day she prays to eat the Santa Rhea God of death in order to I guess it's like because I feel like they're taking life away from AOC. Oh, you think that's what it is. I think they're or one of them. They're like saturating like they're doing a I think in D&D. I believe it's called a life drain. They're doing a life drain on who's looking bad? Oh, who is the guy that was from Maine. That got all the gations.

4:06Oh, all the the the Democrat. Yeah, that's who they're getting that that former Nazi guy. They fucking they're sucking the life form out of him because he's not looking good. And so I think that's what it is and they're giving it to Mitch because Mitch is in a form of suspended animation. He just looks like he's happy to be here. What you think is just the sign of pure dementia. And the fact that he was brain dead for several days. And I honestly don't know if he can make a decision. Who is that that that stupid health secretary or no, he was he ended up being like a homeland. He was a black guy. He was a brain surgeon. Oh, the guy that died. Did he die? The guy died of COVID. Herman K. Oh, Herman K. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, guy that he specifically came up. He's wearing Mitch McConnell skin. Oh, he wishes he was a black man. Mitch McConnell can't do anything. But you know, he's a slight. He's like, well, I can't with my shoulder. That will you keep feeding that wonderful Santa real witch and the basement, all her pie, all her delicious rises.

5:14Get her some pernell. Get her some rose power. He just looks like he's full of eggs. He is full of eggs, toe eggs. He is just a, if he's anything, he is an incubator. He's a host. He is a host at this point. But you know, Mitch McConnell all smiles back at work. And I just got to say I'm happy for him because there's one, you know what it is? I think he's only happy if he's either subjugating or in or shit in a bag. Yeah. And he gets to do both now. Yeah, even though he looks like a shit bag. He is a colostomy bag. Yes. But with the ability to change our lives. Oh, yeah. Did you see the good news though? I'll let Mitch. What are the good news? My girl, dude. My girl won an Emmy last night. Rosa Parks? No, Sally Field. Oh, wow. Sally Field. Look at, fuck it. Hot, dude. Up there, winning for the, the creatures movie. Who gives a shit? It's got field, man. We're playing, dude. I don't know if we should be.

6:14I love Sally. Yeah. She looks. Look at her. She does look beautiful. She is gorgeous as ever. I love you, Sally Field. She's saying she's looking hot. I mean, she is a beautiful woman. She's making her. She's a beautiful woman. She is a beautiful woman. And we wish her luck. She's got the one most wonderful smile in the world. And I can't wait to see all of you. God help us. God help us. He wants to strip. He wants to strip elderly Sally Field down. He wants to strip her down and he wants to see her nude. Grandmob body. I don't know what it is about Sally Field. It just gets me all randy. God, Eddie. Well, let her just enjoy this. Let her enjoy this moment. We don't have to do that. I love her. It's just going to get back to her. She's, I hope so. Yeah, they so don't worry. There's some guy on Netflix who wants to fuck you. She, we're both on the flake. They like me.

7:14We're co-workers. This is the Netflix show. They really like me. Oh, maybe I need to behave myself now that we're co-workers. Exactly. Oh, you got to do the old fashioned. I take it all back. You need to send them edit that out. Yeah, great. Yeah, that'll do. And it's anything I said about Sally Field out there, that's the rock. You didn't say anything derogatory. You just were talking about seeing her naked body. Yeah. But I do think that what we could do is probably send a note through administration. Do you think so? You think I could call Ted Sarandos and be like, hey, I really want to have lunch with Sally. We will never meet Ted Sarandos. And just know that if we do meet Ted Sarandos, it's not our fault. What a... Yeah, it's just like, you know, we'll meet one of his people to just slowly shoot us in the naked. Yes. No one is going, we're not getting anywhere in there. We are a podcast acquisition, friends. I love you, Sally. Come on the show. Yeah, bring Sally on the show. We'll talk about lunch. I'll buy you whatever lunch you want. Anything you want. You like Zanku? Oh, my God. I bet she loves Zanku.

8:14Oh, I know she loves Zanku. Who doesn't? I like Zanku. Well, yeah, you're the twice a week. I don't know if I like it as much as I just eat it because I know it won't kill me. I think that's, honestly, the most of the things I eat. Yeah. We got updates. Yeah, we do. We got updates. Another guy who's got a bad diet. Burbank Butsniffer. Now, he got put in for his longest jail sentence yet. The New York Post is saying that LA is weak on crime. Please be only gay. California Post, Sally. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't insult them. I'm so sorry. But they are saying that the Burbank Butsniffer who I believe got was 170 days. Yes. When the maximum for him to get would be 180. Yes. So they are. So they're calling us weak on crime here. But I think our problem here is that police Crouter is being very presidential where he's seen a lot of loopholes in the system. He has begun to, he has understood that if he keeps it at just a nose length away from sniffing butts, they can't seem to actually

9:16put him in jail for an extended period of time. And so this is the biggest, this is so far the biggest, the book got thrown out. I don't realize 40 arrests. Yeah, buddy. Oh, no. He has, this is what we're seeing here. It's because I was joking with our wonderful friends over at Math Seneca. I was joking about the idea that someone should fart in a bunch of diapers and give it to him as like a mellant like a like a like like a like a methadone. Oh, yeah. For like his heroin, right? So he could just smell like pick it up because smell it and he can kind of move on with his day. But I think I'm now understanding. No, and he likes the thrill of it. But I think besides just the thrill he loves to sneak, I also think he's understood now that this is the crime he can continue to do. Yeah. And this is as long as he keeps it at butts sniffing, this is the most you'll get. And so he'll he's taking the time because guess where you'll sniff butts that are the most sniffed butts in the whole world that will be easy to get at is prison. Yeah. Right?

10:16Because it smells like butts in there. It is a lot of butts. So he's going to be, but he's going to be in a butt like center. But I think if he closes his eyes because we know now officially that women's farts are worse than then we know that for a fact. According except for mine except for yours. And I didn't get any challenges. I called out all of women and no one even said there was some challenges, but I'm not reading them. Oh really? No, I don't care. You didn't tell me about my challenges. We are creating the facts here, my friend. I'm creating the facts here. I don't care, dude. I don't give a fucking shit, dude. But no, that's why it's like I feel like a man's farts in jail. It's gonna be more jail than prison. Would equate to a woman's farts because of the diet in there. Also, I have to say the California Post decided to change his name from the burbank butts to the California butts. That fucking honestly, no, and also fuck you, dude. Fuck you. It is not a California problem. It is a burbank problem. Well, the last time was in Glenda. He's extended. He's extended the valley. He's in the, he's in the Santa Grande. It is a Santa Grande. It is a Santa Grande.

11:16Yeah. Okay, but also the Santa Grande of Valley butts. Nifor also doesn't really make sense. Yeah, the burbank butts. Nifor is the best name he could possibly have. That's where he's located. That's where he wants to be. Understand the only reason why he's not in burbank sniffing butts is because we see side stories has pushed him out. Yeah. Okay, he wants to be sniffing butts in the neighborhood. Yeah, because burbanks got some of the best butts to sniff in all of California. Incredible voice actors. Some of the finest gun shop owners you can imagine. Yeah, there's lots of makeup people. There's so much butt to sniff out here. People visit from across the city here. There's a good variety of different types of diverse butts. If he has access here to different levels of also like, he's in a monetary classes of butts so he can kind of experience all different types of things. He doesn't want to be in Glendale and because of Raffys. Because I do think that Raffys in Glendale, which is truly one of the best restaurants in the city, that is also like, it's a lot of meat. It's a lot of cruciferous vegetables.

12:17And I think that a lot of people, it does affect their bowel health. Yeah, no, there's lots of farts in Glendale. I think there's more farts in Glendale than there are in burbank. Fluffles are very farty foods. Yeah, absolutely. It's a lot of exclusive reference though. Raffys. Raffys is fucking good. Raffys delicious. Get your ass to Raffys, man. That's what the burbank was the first sense. Oh. First eating, no, the butt burbank butts. First like, Eatin Glendale. Share the love in Burbank. By the time you get the burbank, you'll be ready for me. Fully fermented. You know, but we here obviously know that it's a crime. And I'm glad that they did what they could. He's obviously going to do this again. Oh, yes. No, he has figured out his place. Butt sniffer is going to be sniffing butts until the day he's fucking a dead butt sniffer. The way I look at it is the people in California, the lawmakers in California have an 170 days to make a law. They need to figure out. They need to figure something out to stop this motherfucker.

13:17Because I want place, because I mean, we're not going to stop talking about the subject ever. So my question is, and what level does it become criminal? And on what level is sniffing butts? Can you apply that to a helpful thing? Yeah. No, I'm asking. Sibbing butts on some level, does it help medicinally? I mean, in terms of, can a doctor sniff your butt and tell if you have cancer? No. A dog can though. A dog? Yeah, yeah. Dogs know, well, they have the diabetes smelling dogs and stuff like that. Like if your blood sugar starts dropping, they'll start barking at you and stuff like that. So if there's no applicable, do that for my mom, but she was bad at it because my mom died. Yeah, but what took you was just going like, she was more rooting on her death. No, I, this is a whole thing here because if you can't apply butts sniffing in a practical way, there should be a law against it. You know, I don't even know if they do they even make popery anymore? I haven't seen popery around a while.

14:18In the 90s, you couldn't get rid of popery. I just don't think you're going to the right places. Yeah. I think that popery is still a lot. I mean, Pier one imports is out, Brad chops out, we can't, but people get popery. That little old lady that runs out here, little gift store sales popery. I'm pretty certain the one that's like right down the street from here. Oh, okay. I think she sells popery. I don't think it's as popular as it was. Yeah. That goes, it was really popular with women that survived the Holocaust. Yeah. That's what I think it was like. And it was always in a big dish. And I always wanted popery, but I'm always worried about like my dog's window. Stinky granola. Yeah. Yeah. As you should, because dogs will eat it. Yeah. Yeah. Popery, yeah. Popery's gone. I think popery is stupid. Yeah. Get a candle. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, you fuckers. And if that's classist, I'm sorry. Get a fucking candle. Hey, popery. Do you think if someone has like a really nice smelling butt, the Burbank butt snapper like moves on? I think so. No, he wants, I think he wants to stinky, right? Yeah, he wants to. He has to want to. You not sniffing butts do not get stink.

15:18Yeah. Right. If he wanted to sniff heads, he'd be smelling nice things. If you wanted to sniff titties, titties don't have a smell. But it's not going for like us. He's going for like, no, it's going for ladies. Yeah, he wants the ladies butt. Yeah. Which makes him a very big piece of shit. You really think it'd be better if you went after men? Yeah. Because then we could fight him. But I feel like women could fight him. Yeah, but they won't win. He's a, you know, he's, he is a big guy. Women are trained. You've been, you've been also women will, women won a fight. Yeah. I mean, I would love if someone around house kicked him while he was down there and fucking stomped on his head, but I don't think that's happening. I bet you think it'd get napped for assault instead. God, imagine that and they get like 250 days. Because they can get in there for 170. And then you got to free, because the thing is you've got to prove you sniffing your butt. Yeah. And that's really hard without, see, the thing is, like you need to prove a man's sniffed your butt. What he really gotten trouble for was when he did the peeping Tom stuff. Yeah. That was what he actually got because there's a log against it. And again, it's a story. There's a name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's another example of a thing that is a silly thing to call something.

16:20Yeah. It is a little too silly for what the crime is. You know, peeping Tom is just like, it's cute. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds cute. Sounds like a character from the Smurfs. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. What did we talked about this before? I haven't talked about that. I think I've talked about this before. It needs to be salacious viewing. Salacious viewing. Salacious viewing. Salacious viewing. All right. We have any other updates, Eddie. There's one other update. The guy who the grandfather from that horrible family that had the 16 kids. So the house of horrors that we talked about how I think you remember was the cider family with Elizabeth and Gary Ciders the second. They both, they got married when they were teenagers. They had 16 children inside of this house. 17 now. Now 17. We wonder if they, one of the kids got out. They were all rescued. Remember, they were arrested with their grandparents, Gary Ciders senior. And they all look like different breeds of Chihuahua. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? So we got deer heads, we got apple heads, we got this up. And unfortunately Gary Ciders senior, the father, he has just been now, the big update, is that he's been ruled in competent to be a part of the trial.

17:25What you do thing is interesting because they just, and I love the terms that they use. They said that Gary Ciders senior has been unfortunately affected by dementia. And there is no fixing that. What? It's just like. There's no restoring him. It's such a weird thing because like just because he has dementia doesn't mean he committed these crimes for decades. Yes, it does, or it does it, it doesn't matter either way. He's incompetent to stand trial. So they're just saying that he can't stand trial because he has the same brain capacity as carmy. Yeah. And he has the same eye placement. He's got the apple head, but he looks like an apple head of things. It's such a weird thing because he did it. Well, we don't know if he did it or not. Right now it's like, because when it comes to competency. But when it comes to competency, he could also technically be a victim. You think so? No. No. But he could technically be a victim as well. I just think with the problem is that at a certain level of the side stores LPL, a Gmail.com, you know when we love our lawyers, when you write us in and describe things about the court. Because there is something that their idea is is that he has no idea what's going on.

18:29That's what they're saying. He has no idea what's going on. His eyeballs are looking into two different time zones. Yeah. He legitimately is a paperweight. He is Mitch McConnell, but now Mitch McConnell is a senator. Here's the thing that they're trying to keep him safe. A safer place for him would be in jail or a mental asylum, but they're putting him out into the streets, which is basically a death sentence for a guy like this. Stories LPL, a Gmail.com. There's going to be a lot of people that are going to save the opposite. I do see what you're saying, Eddie. But I also will say if he is like, he is just, they've decided that he was not a part of the current crimes. The dealing with which was the maltreatment of the children that were in the house. So technically, I think the way it also works is because he's not the direct father. And if he was not doing anything to the kids, because now we kind of realize, because at first the whole thing was Gary Siders, Jr. and his two-fuck and his father were fucking everybody, right? They were fucking the daughters. This guy's grandpa from the fucking Texas Chainsaw house.

19:29He could also just have been there. That's what they're kind of saying. This is what this is intimating is that he was just there as a paperweight, staring off a tube at the sunrise and the sunset at the same time. And he wouldn't actually fuck or suck any of the children. And if he's not fucking and sucking the children, there's not really a heck of a collotic crimes you can do there. Because if he's not directly responsible for the children, if the other two are there, then are directly responsible. And it's about the kids' malnourishment, then they would be on the hook. And then he'd probably be considered a victim. This diagram really puts it into perspective. Because they all look like they're dying. Yeah, it is a bad family. It is a bad, it's a bad batch. It's a bad batch of DNA. All of those kids are absolutely fucked. They're all going to just be those are all the kids fueling roblox. Damn. There's a lot of kids here. A lot of kids here. You put it when you just, oh, when you just put it like that, that's fucking hard. It's a whole army of degradation. When I look at this sea of broken people, all I just think of is I think we're going to be fine.

20:34Yeah. So, oh, my God. Yeah, they're, I don't even know where to start with this. You can't. You can't. The audience needs to look at it. The audience needs to go check out the quote unquote family tree. Yeah. And so you can really see how not diversified it is. Yeah. And it's going to be these kids are fucked. These 17 kids. Yeah, I think so. Oh, my God. All right. Let's move on. That just got that. Did you get that? I got that real fast. I want to hire a private investigator. Some folks in the best. ABC Tuesdays. TV's hottest PI is back. Are you sure you ready to take on a serial killer? It's like a dozen more likely explanations other than serial killer. All right. Maybe none of it does. In Florida, crime has no offseason. I just heard you were shot at today with a rocket launcher. Well missed. R.J. Decker Tuesdays 10 9th Central on ABC next day on Hulu. So many people are focused on where their money is today.

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22:39agent investment settings does that include acorns fees. Results do not predict or represent the performance of any acorns portfolio. Investment results will vary investing involves risk acorns advisors LLC and SACV registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns dot com slash left. For kids summer means freedom and as adults summer still means freedom thanks to mint mobles summer sand. Right now all of Mint's plans are $15 per month even unlimited for yourself from big wireless and switched to mint for high speed. Data and coverage on the T mobile 5G network. I'm free. Mint mobile has freed me freedom freedom at last. It's taken so long I've been bound in the shackles of old cappone companies. I've been whipped with their prices back and forth. But now that I'm free I can go and vote for brand new brand new policies on phones by myself things that I want things like $15 a month for unlimited data plans.

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24:52A bunch of people came to the show that are coming to our show in Norfolk. This weekend, which is really cool. I love when people double dip. We need to sell tickets to Norfolk. Yeah, no, there's going to be people coming out. We got to get it's it's almost sold out. It's getting there. It's got its problems. Yeah. We need people to come out to the Norfolk show. We got to come out there. All the other shows are actually going to do great. We're going to sell out pretty much every one of our other shows. This weekend, we got we got Norfolk on Friday. And then we got Rolly on Saturday. And then we're going to Brooklyn and Hartford and Redway and Portland and Burlington and Iowa City and Columbia. Stine stories is fucking hitting the road. We're back coming get some shows. Some of them already sold out. So check it out out. Get tickets while you still can get them well you can. Now all right. I want to first do this story just because it's a funny. It's a funny it's a funny picture. Ready. All right. I like that. So this was that I believe this takes place in good old fashioned West Virginia. Okay. Which is where we're headed to sooner in that area. We're going down there and I can't wait to meet a bunch of guys that look like this. We stay out of the West.

25:53A modern day Confederate general. Okay. Who really was in that he was a former high school principal by the name of Eric James. If you look at this picture he looks like forest, bufer, you fucking like the great grandfather of that was in charge of the KKK. Yeah. He put a bit of what he would seem to be a pen-shape video camera inside of the girls changing bathroom inside of his high school where he was in charge. Now he was the principal. The only reason why to cover this is understand is that the wall of Northern aggression did seem to affect some of Austin both superior and inferior way. And I have found on this day the 28th of September that I venture to fall into the absolute hallowed grounds of little girls' bathroom.

26:53And I did put a I did put an observatory measuring device inside of the laboratory area of the girls changing rules. And my first thought was does this increase liberty does this increase the whole the north has if it's aggressive tactics over the free southern states. Man, can we I think mentioned just stopping principles. No, I wish I could find our can but instead I'm just looking at the poopy hole of a little girl. Because that's what I like a gentleman. It is time for us to join forces and we will raid the poopy hole of this little girl. Fall back and forth put down put down your gunner sacks put down your hard tack biscuit and we will monitor put your put your bare your nests forward.

27:53A ruckus of the poopy hole of a little girl. I have talked to Peter Till and we are putting flock cameras inside of the urinals. Look, let's like the bald eagles that liberated this very country from the art from the tyranny of British British. The floor cameras will bring us a money. It's like how does someone have too much facial hair but also not enough. He somehow chose he created the only way I put this it is a brush that can hide the front line of general lees is out in his chin. Is he just like thin little fence? No, he wants to look like one of the statues they refuse to pull down. I just like what what do you what is so important about your upper lip? I think you need all that space between your nostril and the little hairs. You know what it is that you know what I've just realized what guess what he didn't shave South part of his upper lip.

28:53Yeah, guess what is shaved the top the northern. He's the little star of the Mason Dexon line. He above my trembling upper lip because all my lips wish to do is kiss the tender brown poopy hole over 15 year old girl. Do you know the colors of the lips? I want little girl of the same on the bottom as they are on the top. Look at the top of this lip. I can dust from the poop holes and you're dust from the poop holes here at the bottom. Here you're about in the bottom of my mouth. My mouth's stash of northern aggression. Oh man. He looks like he just hangs out in the high school gymnasium a little too long. He just every day covered in wool can't wait to just get he flak. He was so excited for Mitch McConnell to die just so that he could fly the fucking flag in half mast.

29:54Yeah, no, he was robbed of that match. Yeah, he's you know like reenactment reenactors. He's like an actor in actor. He's in the Civil War. Yeah, he's still there. He is in the Civil War. He's teaching it to his children like it's at high school like it's still going on. Yeah, they definitely have a picture of Jesus Christ writing a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Yeah, he's in that high school. You know what I mean? Like that is definitely a place where they they talk about like how black people were dog people from the stars. Right, you know, they got really deep into that and you know, it's like that. You know that they got a lot of talk. They talk a lot about the beauty of Norway. And they wish they could go. But dude, I'll think this question will start. So I think he's going to go to jail for a while. It seems that he is going to be held in a $100,000 bond, which is not enough. No. It's not because you only need 10% to get out, right? That's it. Yeah.

30:54So he's only a 10 he's got 10 grand. Well, the only way I look at what I will. Instead of it's at a hundred and the one we were I was looking at. Yeah, this other one I found says 200,000. So maybe it's somewhere in between either way that's too little because all he has to do is dig up some of my buried confederate gold. Because you know, he has he has some kind of general ease. Fuck it. What is it? The bedpan. He's got like something like that that he's waiting to sell. There's another guy that looks just like him in the news. Oh, yeah. Except he was an interested in little girls. Or maybe he is. I don't know. Probably only a man of the most artistic fortitude and jaws. The poopy hole of a little girl. Ludenville dog breeder hit with 10 charges, including animal cruelty and bcality. Now, we haven't chosen to cover bestiality in a while. Okay. Yes. And the reason why we're even covering this is because it's homage people. Yeah. And if we weren't covering it, we wouldn't cover it if it was just normal people. The reason why we're covering it is because the man has truly like it's it's causing the facial hair.

31:57It's the same thing. Except he except he took it to another level. He has no mustache and below he's beard goes starts below the sole patch. His face. He's even like see the other guy. He's in Virginia. He's like he's more Georgia. He's like he's no higher. I know I know, but I'm talking about his facial hair. This facial hair looks like he's there's something with Amish guys. I forgot it means something. It means something to not shave the lip or to shave the lip or like something like it. There's a mean something. I don't know what it means. But this guy's haircut because he's got full bangs. Amish love bangs. And they love they love that full bowl cut. They get a bowl cut and then his beard looks like a tongue. Yeah. Hanging off his chin. All right. So this is so they. Amish men grow beards after they're married. They continue to shave their upper lip as to not grow mustache. When the Amish community was formed in Switzerland, moustaches were associated with military service.

32:57And the Amish they have theirs to indicate their commitment to fast. Depasses them. Inhash them. Well, that's great. Who gives a fucking shit? Yeah, who gives a shank you wrong? Thank you, Rob. That's how you're fault. That's how you're fault. We didn't have to say you didn't write it. You didn't yet. You didn't write it. Just fake shit. Just dumb fake shit. You know, it's just Amish people friendly. That's basically what it is. Just making up fucking rules. They're not friendly. Okay. The Amish have a distinct issue with child molestation. They have distinct issue with drug traveling, drug trafficking and human trafficking. We will eventually do an entire exposure of the Amish community. That is my goal. Yeah. I think it's a big series on the Amish community because it is from, because the menonites, it's another example of a religion that's taking it way too far back. And I know a lot of people that are menonites that got out and love to hear from you side stories, LPL, gmail.com, because it is fascinating. It's like what we were learning about your hoax witnesses where they're actually,

33:58I'm going to say this in a gent maybe, generally. That doesn't matter. I don't think they listen. I think they were. Yeah. Joe Ho just went this way more evil on the inside. I thought they were just stupid, but it's evil. The art, well, because another example of like just like the Mormons where they have that layer of ambition slash. They think they're better than everybody else. So the Joho was witness is also have an entire endgame for our civilization that doesn't include us. Just like the Mormons. Yeah. So it is, it is fascinating. Did you see the arrest, the body cam footage of this guy getting arrested? No, what did they do? Did he not yell at the camera? I thought they, because you know, I'm as people that are not supposed to get their pictures taken, because it means their souls get taken. Well, he, his family was blurred, but they were part of, they were part of it. The cops showed up and he's like, you'll take that demon. You'll take that demon device away from my face English. Sir, you admitted to me personally that you had sex with these dogs.

34:58That's my dog. That's my dog. It was bleeding. It was bleeding from its choo-cho. I was giving it a baby. I thought it was me, wife. Do you think that they fucked the dogs because they thought that it would be better than fucking just women that they would be cheating? I don't understand why anyone would want to have sex with a dog. That's good, Eddie. I just don't get it. I'm really glad. I, you know, like, I'm glad. Yeah, if you even thought for a second that it would make sense, I have to, we'd have to fire you. What about a dolphin? No, nothing that doesn't have human genitalia. Okay, I thought you were going to say ears. No. Because human can lose its ears and they're still fuckable. You're right, you're right. You're totally viable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Human can lose pretty much most of its parts except for the holes that still be viable. You can still be, in terms of like, have some sex appeal. Yeah. Like, there are people in women here.

35:58This might get me off of no attention. That have no arms and no legs. That's still probably you'd consider like, hot. Yeah. Why not? Here's these Susan Torell. I've no idea that is, but I'm just using this. She was in flesh and blood. Oh, they were covering for our movie stories. Yeah. And Susan Torell that plays, she's Jackie in flesh and blood. Yes, okay. She's my sister in flesh and blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, uh, the, the sourced prostitute that is filled with child. She's crazy. She's crazy. Susan Torell. Yeah. Uh, she lost her legs. Really? Not after this movie. Yeah, not on accident. She lost her legs by disease. Oh. They had to chop her legs off. Well, that's still kind of an accident, but that's not on purpose. But she was still pretty attractive from just the nubs up. Of course. Why wouldn't she be? She's always been a beautiful woman. I'm just saying it's possible like in that way. I think that's great.

36:58This is a whole new chapter for you. I'm not, it is not a new chapter. Is that a new chapter of my life? I'm just saying that facts are. That's what I was trying to get back. That's why people shouldn't have sex with dogs. Yeah. Now, there's a half of sex with a person with new arms and no legs is better. Can I ask a difficult question? Great. Now these dogs that were molested by this man eventually they're going to have to be adopted. They do. Yeah. Would you adopt a sexually abused dog? What do you think? Do you think that it's going to be like in poison ivy? I work. It's just going to be all fucking traumatized I was going to seduce the family. It's definitely going to be traumatized. There's no question about that. There's actually, this is a big deal amongst the community. What do you, what do you do to do? People do rescue the dogs and people do adopt the dogs. I would absolutely adopt the dogs. Do all these dogs go to the same person? Like, is there like an abused home for dogs that are abused sexually? Side stories, LPO to yellowgmail.com.

38:00Unfortunately, it's a question that popped in my head and I had someone who fosters dogs. I believe. I imagine they wouldn't tell me. I do believe that. I don't think it's on the fosters to necessarily tell me that someone molested that dog. I wouldn't say. I think it's none of my business. But it could be because the dog might have traumatized behavior because of it. So that's the only thing you might have to deal with helping to fix a dog's traumatized behavior. They all have traumatized behavior. All my dogs. Every dog I've had is got deep trauma. Ernie's got deep trauma. My dogs are aggressive. Yeah, they don't have trauma. See, my dogs are sweet, but they got trauma. See, my dogs don't have trauma. They just know they're better than other dogs. Yeah. I know someone did something bad to Ernie. I think someone threw Ernie. You're doing what my mom does about my dad. Yeah. You know, only time is I had to deal with him vacation. My mom said and stuff like, you think your father was gay? Why didn't ask you? I told you. Do you think your father was molested?

39:03That's why he was sexually frozen. It's like, mom, blow my brains out. Okay. If we talk about this one more time, I'm going to fucking commit suicide on vacation. It's like, I'm just saying it was just, he lost interest in sex. It's like, I don't, I'm going to fucking throw you. I'm going to throw myself off a cloth. So I don't know. But it's not like she's, again, there was nothing to do about that. It's all done. If she was a cigarette, you probably would have loved her. He really would have loved her. Because then she'd be gone in four seconds. But this is, that's why a lot of uncomfortable questions we've just raised. Side stories, LPO, TL, and GMO, I'm leaving that to you. Yeah, let us know what you know. Because you know, I know you're going to be upset. Everyone's going to be upset. I, but I'm upset. Eddie's upset. Yeah. I'm not. Just want you to know that this is, you know, that we're really discovering it because we're making fun of the way that guy looked and we really entered into a bunch of different discussions. And I think that this next story is also a great example about why we, why we even do this show.

40:03Is this a nice one or a sad one? What do you mean? So this one is what do you mean? This is a, I think it's a really funny story. Okay, let's do it. And I think it's going to bring up interesting conversation. All right. So a NMA fighter, they are a person by the name of this, this young man. I believe his name is, Cole Johnson. Cole, Cole Johnson. Yeah, he's one of no. He's a new fighter. He's a new fighter. They've been putting up this thing. Apparently they've been putting up 500 grand possibly for him to fight a champ. Yeah. There's a lot of people obviously you're going to disagree with this. So first of all, the guy saying, I was supposed to happen on September 11th, which to be honest, is such a missed opportunity. And I'm angry that it didn't happen on September 11th. I feel like the fact that it didn't happen on September 11th, it shouldn't happen. Yeah. And then it should only happen on September 11th. Because this is my view. If we are currently in a world

41:04where the White House lawn can have a UFC match just like bulldozed into it. Yeah. I think this man can fight a champ for 500 grand. And I think the reason why that is is because I think that we of all, we've passed the rubric on now. I think we're on the other side to another part of the American experience. And I think that there's a way to find out if the champ consented. Yes. I think there's a way to find a champ that wants to fight humans, that obviously wants to fight. We know that there's aggressive champs. Right? We know that they turn aggressive at a certain age. Right? They're not supposed to be around people at a certain age. Cole's already asked for certain factors like can the entire ring be surrounded by people with tranquilized darts to save his life? Right? But you know, I feel like the champ, his life, from the champ. I feel like if you're going to do that, they should also shoot him if he's winning. I agree. So I'm with you.

42:05I'm with you. There's no way he's going to win. There's darts for the champ. There should be darts for the man. We are paying money to watch a champ rip a man's dishwet. Yes. That's what this is about. So he's not going to beat the champ. There's no way he's going to beat the champ. So basically Cole was in an interview where he said that he could fight a champ and he really believed that he could beat a chimpanzee. He's jacked. He's really big. I'm not going to say he's not huge. This guy doesn't have a chance to chip and see. Here's what I probably should have talked about this a little bit beforehand. He's come out and said the whole thing was a publicity. Yeah, sure, of course. Yeah, but I'm we're past this. Yeah. No, no, now I want to book this because I think that we, I feel that if this is a thing, we are, we are as a country can demand this now because of where we're at. We can say that that champ is allowed to rip that man's dishwet and we can all buy tickets to watch it do that. And I think if that's okay. And I think, but the chip does need to consent and the chip does need to know it's going in there

43:07to fight the other man. And I think that there's a way to communicate it to the chip. You think so? And I think that there's a way, I get, I might be wrong. I think the only way that you could fight a chim and it'd be okay is if it's a wild one. That's or it's you have to go, there's no ring. You go into the jungle and you find one. Oh, that's unfair. No, that's, to me, that's the only way it should be allowed. Can a chip be trained to fight? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But you're not going to. Train a chip. But train a chip. Now you're talking about the plot of the first, uh, the plot of the apes. I don't think that's wrong. Give them a shot. We have yet to train them. Yeah. I know that we made up guns, right? We made up guns and we figured out to use them ourselves. But should we not now train apes and chimps to use guns? And to train them to fight. I mean, because we can give them that back. We should give them that back. They're coming straight for you. Yeah, I'm not.

44:08Yeah, you're not going to teach them out of fight. No, I'm not going to be anywhere near them. I'll go, you know, that's not where I'm going. Until they start spread and then we start getting dumber and then they take us over five generations from now. Don't they like rip your nuts off first? That's the end of the first move. Anything that's hanging. Yeah, they're going to rip your face off. They go for the nose, the eyes, the ears, your hands, your fingers, your toes. Yeah, they try to, but you know, the thing is you would probably put a helmet on the chip to try to like keep it from biting. But here's the thing. Cole Johnson has come out and said that this was never going to happen. And he's redirected all of his fans that were going to buy tickets to this to support the Jenga, good old foundation. Honestly, I get Eddie. I think that's truly wonderful. I still think we can do the fight and give all the money to charity. Yeah, I mean, obviously, do the fight and give all the money to cherish. You're going to do the fight. You got to put it back into chimpanzees. I know. I'm going to get a lot of flack on this. I'm just saying of all the things and think that we should, I'm fighting for the chimp. Yeah. Give the chimp the opportunity to kill a human with impunity.

45:11Give it the opportunity to do it. But then it's going to get a taste for blood. Yes. And then it's going to kill again. Yeah. Yes. No, because the thing is other MMA guys, then we'll continue to challenge him. It won't be other MMA guys. It'll be his keeper. Or maybe he'll be Baron Trump. You never know how funny would that be. Oh my God. If that's how he goes out, that'd be so much fun. It would more likely be one of the other brothers who go and poach all the time. They're going to die of a drug overdosa any day now. I hope so. So let us go to another story. We'll see how this goes. We'll see how this plays out. There's one. There's a story that I'm not really against. I don't want people to just hurt random chimps. I'm saying I want a chimp that can consent. Yeah, you just know that the chimp doesn't have a chance to get hurt. Yeah, of course. No, the chimp is going to win. Yeah, the chimp doesn't. Yeah, it can't get hurt. Yeah, you can clock them a couple of times in the head. It might. Yeah. It might get it. If this fight did happen, which is not, I imagine he, the chip would be sitting there. The guy would punch it once and then he would just get ripped to shred. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Yeah, until we see it. And then it would just be horrifying.

46:12I guess it's like when you rent faces of death, you know, and then you're like, oh, I can't wait to get home and watch this. So then you put it in the VHS player. You're like, oh, dude, I just bought the new 4K of faces of death. Yeah. How old are you? Yeah, bought it. You bought the original. Yeah. Fork they made it into 4K. Yeah. It was like VHS is back in the day. Yeah, dude. They can't make that into 4K. Yeah, dude, it was fucking awesome. I think I did it. I forgot who did it. It was a not terror vision. It might have been severed. It might have been severed in films. It was great. Really? Yeah. Crazy. I just like having stuff now. Yeah, you just, well, you know, you, you have a collection. Yeah. At this point. It's going to be a syndrome. Oh, okay. They're great. Vinaigrette syndrome, go check them out. You didn't accidentally buy the new shitty movie, did you? No, I made it through about halfway the new shitty movie. I watched half of it. Yeah. Yeah, it was not good. It was awful. It seemed good. But also it was one of those with the new when it was that movie just, you know, it got, it went into slasher world and I'm not big into slasher's unless it's Halloween

47:13and we'll talk all about that. This is an advertisement from BetterHelp. Getting my mental health is crucial. Navigating our podcast network through the choppy waters of the culture war. And I just want to say thank you, BetterHelp for allowing me to see further, see more clearly, hear more dearly and know the more dearly, BetterHelp. I say day by day, mental health awareness is growing, but there's still progress to be made. Many people avoid seeking mental health of support due to fear of judgment or stigma. Thankfully, I'm immune. When people hesitate to get help, it doesn't just affect them. It impacts families, workplaces and entire communities, much like how my family and friends got together to beg me to talk to a therapist. Let's encourage everyone to take care of their well-being and break the stigma. The world is better when people are healthy and happy. BetterHelp has over 10 years of experience matching people with the right therapist

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50:17Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required, terms and limits apply, go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. Chime. Hey, everybody. How you doing? I know what you're thinking. We hear Ed's voice, and it's not during the episode, so we must be talking about Quince. Yeah. You're correct. It's Quince time, baby. Yeah. Hey, when you're looking around in your closet, you look at your shirt. You're like, oh, this shirt stinks. Actually, it smells bad. You can now look like a decent human being every day with Quince. That's right. Quince focuses on high-quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials and timeless

51:18versatile styles. Man, I can't tell you how often I wear my Quince clothes. It is way too much. They are still looking good. How long have I been doing these ads? I've been wearing these for years, right? I'm still wearing the stuff I got on the first shipment years ago because it's still like the neck collar on the D-shirts. You know, those blowout really easy. Not on my Quince shirts still look good underneath my nice ones. Hey, you know those cashmere sweaters? They don't got the little balls on the end of it? Still looking nice. Be good to yourself. You get out there, you go over to Quince, and you tell them Eddie said, just find your next full favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash last. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too, that's q-u-i-n-c-e.com slash last. Click a prince when you're dressed in your Quince.

52:24There was another story that came out on September 11th. This is, to me, I like this story. I think this is a, no one gets hurt type of story. Oh nice. So I, but it's interesting. There is a drug dealer in Minnesota. He got recently got caught. His name is Andy Celensia. He's 27 years old. He got caught dealing mushrooms and weed lots of, like, he was doing weight. But he had a, he started, he was, he's young. He started out. His new drug dealer on the block. But he had a customer, a customer loyalty card. So this is objectively funny. Which is an idea that I had when I was selling weed. This is an idea. Obviously I never followed through with it. And I didn't follow through with it, not because I was scared of getting caught because I, you know, I just didn't do it. No, no, this is the issue. And I'm going to say this to all of our drug dealers above the board and not is that it's

53:26awesome. I think it's really amazing. The problem with doing it is that if you're in an illegal place, it puts it in writing. Mm-hmm. And the second, that's why it's like what you do with this. This is my advice to drug dealers. Do this program because it's really fun. Yeah. Name the card something else. Oh, yeah. Name it. Sam Wick, pretend you're saying sandwiches. Flower shop. Even just like a funny thing. I guess what he did. I think that's what he did. No, what does Daddy's point? It's like it literally is we, it's Deflower Daddy with him holding all these, and it's AI things with him holding weed plants. And I'm not sure. And I'm not sure. And I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is very silly and fun. I don't like that it's AI. No, what? I mean, what are we expect? I don't know. Here's what I think about this guy. I think this is a hiccup in a man who's going to make millions of dollars in his life. I completely agree. I think that he's got a great future. That is an American. A true American. I think that he had a good idea that turned out to be a horrible idea. I completely agree with you. And I think that he's on. I think he's going to, this is a hiccup. He's going to serve his time.

54:27He's going to get in a little bit of trouble. Also don't like that his bail is more than the high school principal. Oh, really? Well, that's like an exact, I don't enjoy that. It is an exact example of where we consider certain crimes in this country, which is hilarious that your people are still being busted for fucking selling weed just because he didn't give the government their fucking vague. Yeah. Yeah, it's more tax evasion than they're like mad at doing anything. That's all it ever is. And it's but hurt that the war on drugs is over. Yeah. So Andy, Celencia, I think, you know, don't worry about this. You're going to be fine. You can do a little time. Nothing crazy. You're going to get out. When you're in there, brainstorm. Apply these ideas, businesses. All right. Do some reading. Do some research. I can see you making a fuck ton of money. You got good ideas. See a gap. Yeah. See a gap. Fill a gap. Right? Like one thing I was thinking about, it's a place that is stools for women with BBLs. Oh, I mean, you can do as a little stool park for women with big asses, right?

55:31Or something like that. I mean, it's just a spit ball. Where are you going to put it? I doubt on that. Perfect. No. Don't do it in a verb. Oh, my fucking god. Open up. Honestly, though, if police want to catch him, we're opening big butt park. Oh, you can do a fucking thing. Big butt park. Big butt park. We all go. We set it all up with fake butts. And then we fill them in the air. And then we hit them with a net. Oh, my god. I'm going to put a dress on holding and a fake butt on them. I'm just having more. After turns from Bob, guys. Oh, wow. Oh, I go for real. Briebus, come on. Let's talk about that. He's a bit of a rumbling munch on me. Aren't you saying some fresh greens from the super bad from Bob? I ain't a bunch of fresh tomatoes. I bought them from the bad store. I bought them from a place to take the eBT. I went out and got all the stuff. I'm feeling super gassy. That'd be great. Yeah. Have you ever been to Buddy Burgers in Austin? No.

56:31Do you know what the special sauce is? No. It's come. Apparently. These guys got arrested for putting calm on the burgers, isn't it? Yeah. You know, I go always feel like that's a breach of trust that I won't ever get back. Yeah. The idea of like hurting my burger. No, man, I just, I couldn't help. But like the cookin' me, like the chef and me can't help but feel really bad for Buddy's burgers. Yeah, the thing they got fucked. Because they, no one's ever, I'm never going to eat there. No, never in a thousand years. Never in a thousand years when I eat there. And they like, they obviously, they hired this guy. They didn't cross their teeth and dot their eyes. How do they, how do they do that? How do you make sure the guys, like, got to calm on the fucking burgers? I bet he has a record and they probably didn't look for it. Like a speed record for coming on burgers. If he had never come on anything he's got a clop before, then it's okay. But, but yeah, no, they're fucked. I don't think he did, Eddie. Yeah. Why is his dick out in this? Yeah, his dick out a couple times.

57:32He's taking Dixies, he came on alopeños. As they had goals, he showed his dick to people he worked with. And he started posting it all over Reddit. That's a big issue there. Yeah, and in terms of you're trying to cover up your crimes. Because it's a pretty large social media website. Yeah, and Buddy Burger, they're doing their best to put this down, but. It's not going anywhere. Yeah, no, they, they even, they're responding to the, to the Reddit. Because you know, it's going there to now work. Comers people who come on burgers. Oh, they're going to be it's going to be hard for them. Well, now they just go stealth. They're going to have to go to Torchie's tacos. He always was stealth. But yeah, Torchie's tacos. Yeah, they're on their way to Torchie's tacos. I don't like torches. So, um, Buddy's burger. I'll never eat there. No, what? Torchies are Buddy burgers. Buddy's burger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's so many good places to eat in Austin. These guys are fucked. They need to change the name. As the only chance they got. Oh, also not even burgers in Austin. Yeah, no, there's no reason to. The fusion Asian food. Yeah, that was so good. That was one of the best fucking things I've ever had. I wish that I remember what it was called.

58:33It was like Asian 66 or something. Yeah, fucking that place. It was right. It was one of the better Thai restaurants I ever went to. It was beef fucking beef dumplings. Yeah, but Buddy Burger, their response in the Reddit thread was, thank you for your assistance and making us aware of this. We are actively working with the police to ensure this individual was held accountable for his actions. This individual was a new hire who was terminated mid shift from Buddy Burger on September 1st. 2026 when an employee complaint of indecent exposure was filed and addressed immediately. People were the eight-those burgers, man. Yeah, no, no, no. Here's the thing. How many people ate come burgers? Well, it doesn't. You think so? Oh, yeah, because you can only come so much. Yeah. I think that probably about a dozen people ate burgers with come on them. Yeah. And like, there's no way to find out. No, nope. Absolutely not, because they probably, I mean, who knows? Unless you're somebody who eats a lot of calm. You might not know. No, I know, but there's no way to find out. Right? I'm saying that seriously. Especially if you pay cash, then I could be able to find out who ate these come burgers.

59:36It's just a big thing. This is about Bitcoin, isn't it? It's bigger than this, huh? This is about the blockchain. That's what this is about. This is about a non-mini. Now, I'm a non-mini. Right? That's the problem. Right? They want to know who's doing it. It's the cop chain. It's the cop chain. Because I've never consumed to Dracula. No. I don't know the taste of a Dracula. I can assume I bet you would know the moment you had it. I mean, I know it if I saw it, if I saw it, like flying through the air. I smell it a bunch. Yeah, that's different. Is it help, though? But if you mix it in with the sauce, the donkey sauce or the buddy sauce, whatever it is, which already sounds like come. Yeah, buddy. Saying that it's covered with... Buddy sauce sounds like what you make when you go on a fishing trip with your old friend that you haven't seen in 20 years. And you don't let your wife come. Yeah. Making some buddy sauce. They don't know what to do. They're swinging. They're just like... No, they're screwed. Yeah, they're fucked. Yeah, they're fucked. They should close down and remake it into another name.

1:00:36Yeah, they should literally... Just close the restaurant for a fucking week. Make it a new sign, put a new sign on, and just try to start a new. Yes, oh my God, is this one of the Cumbergurs? No, just a big sloppy burger. There's another burger from there, but it does look like a... It does look like a man. It's got something. This does look like a Cumbergur. It's just got me. It's got got him. It's on its own. It looks like it's got cuss. It just looks like a burger. You would never know. You would never know, man. You would never know. You would never know. If we weren't talking about Cumber on hamburgers, I would go like, hmm, man. If I saw that, I'd be like, yum. But now that we know, that's the problem, many, that's the exact problem. Is that now that I know that there was Cumbergur on one, I'll never be able to eat it again. Because my first thought is like, hmm. Because I loved mayonnaise. Oh my God. Now the one star reviews are piling in. Yeah, they're coming out. Oh, yeah. That's how it is. Well, as soon as they hate you for one thing, they're excited to jump on, to hate you for everything.

1:01:37It seems like people liked Buddy Burger before this incident, too. Like they were like doing okay. Yeah. They're fucked, man. I wonder if he was from McDonald's. Oh, yeah. Just like Buddy Burger's getting too big. Send him in. Yeah, you always... Oh, I need you to do is spend a year too in college, my friend. You'll be here waiting for you on the other side. Like in good felt. Then Ronald McDonald picked him up from jail. Oh, man. That's a good kid. That's a good fucking kid that you was there. That's nice with you then, huh? Hey, don't worry. We'll take care of you. Oh my God. Where are you, sir? Hey, let me know. Guess. Here's what. You've been jerking off in jail. Ha, I like these. This is on the Reddit. WTFU. I was in Buddy's last weekend. I was there on Sunday the 30th, but he's fired him on the first. I know I ate coke. Yep. Or maybe. Or you just ate some ball hair. Man. Did I bet you he couldn't come a lot? No. Unless he saved it. Oh, no.

1:02:40Buddy burgers put up a post recently with a new restaurant coming soon. Oh, no. Guys, we're on change. We're on change. Opening soon. Opening soon. You got to change the first page. Opening soon. Oh, buddy. Oh, buddy. Coming before. Opening now. Oh, he also worked on an HB grocery store disgusting. This isn't good. You know, a lot of people fronch and do weird things on the grocery store. We've covered that over the years. I think there's a freedom inside of a grocery store for certain behaviors because there's the trust. Yeah. And you should wash your vegetables when you get home. You're right. If this teaches you anything, wash your vegetables. Wash your cheeseburgers. Wash your ribs. If you get a bunch of ribs, give them a good wash before you can talk into that. Dim sum just because of what a rhyme rhymes with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rim come. Yeah, or dim come. Yeah. I had dim sum the other day. Yeah. It was fine. I love dim sum.

1:03:41You know, I wish it was better. The, uh, all right. So we have a, we haven't even fucking way. So angry. No, the stuff I had. There's been good stuff. Of course, the stuff you guys with that, this goes good. This Florida woman allegedly threw a bucket of shit on a neighbor. I mean, what does this even mean? They shared a trailer and this woman, her bathroom broke. And she thought that her neighbor who that she shared a trailer with, I guess it's like a wall in the trailer. She thought she was fucking her husband. And she had this big bucket of shit because like she, her toilet wasn't working. And she went over to her house and threw the bucket shit on her. And she's like, stop fucking my husband. I think a lady's got a lot more issues to deal with than, uh, her husband. She's been sent fidelity. She's mean looking. She looks like the lady that kills people for the cartels. Yeah, yeah. She's mean looking lady. That is a lady. That is a mean looking lady who you know has got, um, rancid poops. Yeah, this happened in Miami. Uh, we all know the plumbing down there. Can't, isn't the best sometimes just because of, you know, swamp. It's hard to get ready to try to get rid of it.

1:04:42You know, that kind of thing. Is it? Oh, yeah. It really is a problem. Yeah. With poopos and, and PPs in my, I mean, some places when, if you're in a bad enough area, it starts rising. So I'm sorry. LPLG mode.com was to approve a problem in Miami. There are schools that are sinking into the marsh. Like, there are places that are sinking into the earth in Miami. Wow. Yeah. I know we're going to lose it. When we lose Miami is when we're finally going to do some weird things about the climate. Yeah, because no one's going to say shit when New Orleans goes. No, because they're all like, we, we saw how much they didn't care to earn Katrina. Nope. And then so like, and so, but that, yeah, New Orleans is going to be first. And it's going to be Miami or Charleston. When if Charleston goes, I bet people flip out more unfortunately. That's horrible. Yeah. Charleston can go. Charleston can go. Not New Orleans. I was, oh, New Orleans is a wonderful place. I don't enjoy Charleston. Yeah. Well, the last time I was in Charleston, the, we were driving and then the water, the ocean came in like three blocks. Yeah. And then we were driving and I'm like, oh my god. What's this like?

1:05:43I got the ocean. They were all casual about it. And I'm like, what do you mean? Like, yeah, the moon's out. I was like, what do you mean? What are you talking about? Moon's always out. Moon's always out. Yeah, moon is there. Yeah. Yeah, the moon's out. So the ocean comes into our city. You're just saying stuff. Yeah. That's the person just saying stuff. That person has a level of maybe I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds like they have a sort of ancient view of the powers of the moon. Yeah. Well, this is bad, Eddie. Yeah. Well, she's on trouble. She's in jail too. There's another guy right down the street from her in Durau. This is an interesting story. He was arrested in a hotel room for hiding under someone's bed the entire night. See, this is interesting because it sounds like he was sneaking. It sounds like he was in Assassin's Creed. It sounds like he didn't do anything to these people. No, he was just sleep. And he did break, he did break an entry. He was kicked off the property like earlier in the week. The guy came back, got kicked off again and came back, snuck in through the back door, went under the bed. These people checked into their room, slept the entire night. This guy below them.

1:06:44So this is, okay, I'm going to say again, this is another controversial statement. I'm going to make on today's episode that we will have reverberations of for years. Okay. My view here is because he didn't rape and murder them. He was just sleeping, which means he was just trying to find a place to sleep, maybe hiding from somebody or maybe just literally looking for a place to sleep. Yeah. The fact that he didn't touch them or their things. While he was asleep or while they were asleep, to me shows, the man was just trying to sleep. He is charged with burglary because he's still breaking an entering, I guess, but that's not burglary unless he did steal stuff from them. We don't know. He couldn't say that. But even just the fact that he didn't because this is how damaged this show has made me. The fact that he didn't suck on their feet. The fact that he didn't jerk off on the blankets. The fact that he didn't fucking just stab him to death while they were sleeping. The fact that he didn't hold with a woman at ninth point while he was raping the father,

1:07:44there's so many things he could have done. He didn't. To me, that shows restraint. I think this is a person who obviously is suffering from deep mental health issues and has no money. Also, thankfully, has enough impulse control to not do something so fucked up. He just wanted to sleep. He just was trying to sleep. Also, this is one of those fun things that what I love is, you know how many times you're in a hotel with your loved one or with your wife. And she'll say something, I don't know how you deal with this. Sometimes something scary is happening. But you as the guy in the scenario, in our scenario, in our system scenarios, we're very much like, don't worry. I'm certain everything's fine. And then we just stay scared and we let them go to sleep nice. So I can see this style of things. I just get up and look really fast. That's what I do. And assume that if someone's there, they'll just kill me because I'm defenseless. Yeah, exactly. So I assume that the wife at some point was like, do you think that there's somebody sleeping

1:08:45in the bed and then they looked under the bed and there was someone there? Do you see what I would go with that? So he's a husband. You know, you do though. Unfortunately, you have to fight him. No, well, no. The first thing you do is deny and say, no, you're wrong, baby. You're very good. Don't worry. Everything's okay. We're just trying to go to sleep. Why don't you go get a soda? You know, and then you're like, hey, buddy, come on, get out of here. Come on, get the fuck out. It's good on you. It's good, buddy. But I feel like if you looked at, but then you look under the bed, but you never really look under the bed because if you were to look under the bed, Eddie, guess what you'd see? The monster. Yeah, the monster. And this case, there was one. Yes. Yeah, but that's kind of, and now we, where maybe things could have went south, but because everybody went to sleep. Mm-hmm. Everything was fine. And I will say, not violent, not violent. He's not violent. And that's my only thing that's a saving grace for him. Yes. Is the fact that he's non-violent. I don't know if he's been prosecuted for the crimes. It seems like he might have, he has, he definitely has a record. Yes. So he didn't murder these people. And to me, that's a good sign.

1:09:45Yeah. Improvement. I didn't prove men. Yeah, it's just crashing. That's all. He's just sleeping. He's just dreaming. You know, no one's under the bed. They didn't need under the bed. Okay. Now, I want to do a quick recap of today. We got the guy who, we got, we got the, the old man who got, who is too, he can't stand trial. Mm-hmm. All right. We eyeballed him too far apart for him to be competent enough to do crimes. That's right. And then we got the, the guy, the Confederate general who, school principal, who's looking at little girls. Yeah, funny beard, funny little mustache. And then we got the guy who's breeding and fucking dogs the Amish guy. No mustache, funny beard. Yeah, we have the, we have the guy who is a wants to fight a chimpanzee. Yes. Cole Johnson. Who actually turned out to be not too horrible, not even that horrible, not even that horrible. And then we had, then we had the next guy after that, we had the drug dealer with the card. Yep. And then we had the lady who threw shit at people. And then we had the cumburger boy and then the guy sleeping under the bed. Who's your least favorite person? Cumberger boy. Cumberger boy is the worst person, right? Cumberger boy is the worst animal. He's worse than a dogfucker.

1:10:46Mm-hmm. Yeah. And the old man, I mean, we don't know what his crimes are. The old man could have old school like deep-seated crimes. Yeah, he killed somebody in Korea. Yeah. And then he's probably the worst human, but he's, you don't know. You can't even punish him anymore. He's locked in now. He's a ghost. I think cumburger boy, only just because that is a sacred trust one has with their fast food restaurant. Yeah. Did you want hurt me in this process? Yeah, there won't become on this. You know, the Confederate general videotaping the girls, people, I hate him the most. Well, he, I don't, but I think the worst crime is the cumburger. In real life, he's the worst person. Oh, and the best temper, of course. He get like butts knifers already kind of in to another level. He's been good for us in real life. He's been great for us. We know we, we print money on the Burbank butt sniffing. That's fucking huge for us. The Confederate general high school principal is the worst person. The cumburger guy is the worst crime. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for me. And so that makes him the worst person.

1:11:46Who deserves the worst beaten? You know, I think that you could very ostensibly give a whale hardcore on both. The thing is, is that the Confederate general guy is gonna just get worse. I do feel like you could beat this behavior out of cumburger boy. Yes. I feel like you could beat the behavior out of him. But that would require like taking him just to the brink of death. Yeah. And it would require a pointed series of lessons. You have to put a tube in a munch. Yeah. That's a big pulvera hoven thing too, you notice, right? Well, a tube and putting tubes up a guy's butts. It is, isn't it? It's in like three movies. Yeah. He likes things like that. Check out movie stories. Check out movie stories. It's over on Patreon. Or cover in pulvera hoven films. Do we have any new listener mail or we keep in the old collective soul one? I got people seen by him. I love that butt rock one. I got another one. Let's keep it. We got so many. I feel bad if we don't play some of these. Hold on. I want you to randomly bring the collective soul one back.

1:12:47Sure. Put it on a cycle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, keep that one. Don't go over to that. And keep that reggae one too, because I want to hear that again eventually. We can make a little album for you. It has to go on a cycle. Okay. All right. Here's a new one. Yeah. This one is from Colt Berkett. Let's play it. Here we go. That's fun. That's fun. And it's good again there. Yeah It's lets you know. Nice song to the cast. Answer it! Thank you. God, I love the rock ones. Yeah, well they mean it. I love the rock ones. Those are our people. I think, you know what a good idea would be? We take all of these listener email, tracks, just fucking make an album on Spotify.

1:13:48You were talking about this. How do we do that? I don't know. I don't know. We do that without just stealing money from people. You know what I mean? I get the problem with it. Spotify, no one makes fucking money. But any money should go to the people who wrote the song. So I have to source all the people who wrote the song. This is what I've learned that's hard about that, is that I have to then find all of their information. Each one of them has a credit and account in which we can then link all of their bank accounts. That's the only way I'm doing this. I would do it fully legit. They're not taking money from people. One of it's $1.00 on the dollar. Whatever money we make, we put towards some kind of great cause. I said great. We would need in writing agreement from the people that wrote the stingers that they're totally down for the proceeds to go to charity. And absolutely I will do that. If you have heard your singer on the show right in a lot of snow, how about that? Love that. Yeah, this is something that'll happen never. Who knows? But who the fuck knows? We make shit all the time. We got one year, we got, we got, who the fuck? People love these things in sort of way. Yep, let's hear some, let's hear some bullshit. Now I want to get into a little bit about Scroats.

1:14:49So I broke, I brought up the concept of the little little scumbags, little fuckers, yeah. And right, my wife and I, Natalie and I were harassed in the street. They're really funny. And, but I brought it up and it is a big fucking deal. It's a big deal over in Dublin. It seems to be a lot of the people, a lot of the emails I got was talking about how there's like economic issues in the major city centers. A lot of these are kids from people that are obviously, you know, like kind of what we were talking about, how their parents are on drugs. And now they're obsessed with it, you know, now they go out there and they take their pain out on people and largely they just rough people up, yell things and run away. They are children. The guardian, the Irish police, they really don't want anything to do with it. No. And so I got a lot of good information. It's quite a group of kids. No one wants to because it sucks. But this is, it is interesting. So let me recap these letters. I hope you enjoyed Ireland Henry.

1:15:50Sorry, I already, oh, this traded you out of one with our local customs. Say anything mean they can think of of your dire. If it isn't a sports jersey and work pants or match and track suit, it is, in fact, illegal. Scroots are the city thing. And your bartender was in line. The violence right now is targeting immigrants. A lot of it is stirred up online. And if you're a qual-titter, I will dead name it. All right, until Vivian Musk and Herritsr Fathers Fortune. Exactly. All right? Exposed all the origin countries of its users briefly. The accounts for Irish far-right groups were all based in America and England. Where I am in Ireland, can't you lay it from? People would probably talk about their attire, but they'd have a pint with you still. And the teens are so non-scrooty that when I asked my boss, if the oles ever getting a fist fight at lunch, we'll wait for us to make them food. You could not comprehend what I was asking. All right, from Halifax and Canada, and our teens fought in our library every damn day. Right? Now some fun things to yell at Scroots.

1:16:52Your ma's your dad, your dad sells hay-von. Get the fuck. Yeah. Or if you must fight, you can open with, that's a funny way to spend your teeth. I live in Marina now. My only permanent neighbor is obviously a former Scroot. And they do not grow out of it. He once told my dog he was going to beat the bricks off for following him in the night. He didn't mean it. It's just a Scroot. So that's the thing. So they talk about the Scroots, and they say that basically everyone said the same thing. You literally just don't say anything to them. You just move forward, right? There's a lot of keep following you and throwing bricks and shit. No, if you could really just go through, I think it was really funny that they all talk about having one comb. One thing with their, another term that they're called yep bros. Okay, yep bros. That's it, because they go, yep. Yep. At each other. Yep. Oh, wow. And it's literally just what they do. And they hear that we visited Kong.

1:17:53I think this is a part of the Warriors. It is. We also visited Kong, someone brought up and here's one to know why in the living fuck are they obsessed with the movie The Quiet Man? My mother, the John Wayne film. So we were only Oscar. Dude, I just, so my mom, I don't know where, starts no idea about the, I never heard of the movie The Quiet Man. You never heard of it? No. Why would I? I don't care, right? I don't know where. My mom's like, do you think that this is where The Quiet Man was made? I was like, what are you talking about? She was like, The Quiet Man. It's John Wayne's best movie. Everyone loves it. Yeah. And it was just like, I have no idea. Next thing we know we're in Kong, which is where The Quiet Man was filmed. And my mom is going to all of these places like it's where the Godfather was filmed. Like she's next to tears, and she's been like, this is the ball. But John Wayne came out of the ball. I was just like, this is the weird, the whole town is obsessed with The Quiet Man. I mean, it's great you're bound to see it.

1:18:53It's just, no, I know. It's just very funny that it's an entire town based off this like one movie. You know, imagine if you went to the town where like Nightmare No Street 4 was filmed with your mother and you were so excited everywhere you went. You're like, this is the town square. You know, it's the same thing. It's true. Yeah, because you're going to a little more question. Someone's saying here is that we should send the Scroats to alligator Auschwitz. Oh, there's an alligator Alcatraz. Well, it's closed now. So there's nowhere to send them. There's no way to send them. Oh, Nelson got out. Kurt Steph you, he's back home with his wife. No fucking way. It's almost like you didn't commit any crimes. Sometimes like you shouldn't have been there in the fucking first place, but that's amazing. Shout out to Nelson Kurt and everyone involved in the ball. So yes, so just know, go out there. This one of your, I want to give a shout out to the park ranger that went after Eugene Horsh. Okay. Just, just listen, we covered the, the, the potential crimes

1:19:54of RC Horsh. And we're going to probably do an entire episode on this. I mean, you have to. So we're not crazy. That's why I'm available a little more. But I did think it was interesting. Someone call out like the National Park Services. Just wanting to know, I listened to the side stories app where you talked about Eugene Horsh. Not much to contribute, other than I'm a National Park Service Ranger, stationed at Independence NHP. I know the ranger who went after him initially. His name is Keith Manchester, and he actually got her pretty bad, and he's been off duty for a while. So I know it doesn't mean much. Just want to keep to get credit for being a great guy and a great ranger. That's good. Because he went completely out of his way to make sure that something was done. Hell yeah. That's amazing. Well, these are the stories I'm just going to keep for now. This is what I'm going to do. And we got other stories I'll get into it next week. All right. All right. So just live every day, every day, knowing for a fact that if you're an island, you want to keep your head up. All right. So if you're going to walk around with a pretty lady, you might love the fact that you get the attention of a bunch of little boys. Yeah. Right. And you just kind of laugh at them. Because you know, they might be mad. That you got a cute little lady on your hands

1:20:55and you're wearing a bit of a pink shirt. All right. They might be saying things about you. Maybe you got to remember, right? You're the man right there to the boy. Come see us this weekend in Norfolk. I can't wait to see you. We'll find you. Coming down in Norfolk way, send your scrots. Send your, send your, someone who can legally buy a bear. Friday, Norfolk, Saturday, Rally, North Carolina, the Martin Marietta Center. We're going to have a lot of fun. We have a lot of shows coming up down the pipe, Brooklyn, Hartford, Redway, Portland, Burlington, Iowa City, Columbia, Missouri. Me personally, I'm going to be in Milwaukee with Logan Metz on September 27th. No, that's going to be an entertain in the evening. It's going to be nice. October 4th, by first show at the comedy work, sold out. We got a second show booked. So go and get tickets to the second show. That's going to be a fucking blast. That's my birthday show. Come fucking party with me. And then in LA on October 14th on a Wednesday at the straight theater is Slambers Comedy Bash.

1:21:57I'm going to be hosting it. We're having a lot of fun. That's great. You're hosting for Amber. Give her some time to work out some material. That's right. She's going to close out that fucker. And then San Francisco, St. Louis, Nashville, Rochester, Albany, go to any tunes or any other comfort tickets. Go and check them out. We'll see you over on, can you see on Netflix? I see any Patreon. Certain movie stores are. You see it. We're over there on Patreon. Well, let's go to check out a new YouTube channel. Bloodbath77 doing very well. Go check it out. Up there on YouTube. Over on LPN TV. It's on YouTube. And that's for YouTube. All right. I appreciate it. And you're healthy. Health Selly Fields. Yeah, wow. Yeah. How had he to really masturbate? Yeah. Think it about Selly Fields. You ever see the Irish film The Fields? No. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I heard the whole thing as if there's grass on it. That's when you play the ball. Bye, everybody.

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