The Real Reason Work Follows You Home

0:00This is Hota Kotby from Joy 101 with Hota Kotby, whether you're calling the wise women in your life, video calling your girlfriends across the country, or checking in on someone who always knows how to make you smile, staying connected matters. Those small conversations shared laughs and quick halos are what keep relationships strong even when life gets busy. Some of the most life changing conversations start with just a phone call. That's why AT&T guarantees a network you can rely on so you can focus on the moments and people that matter most. That's the AT&T guarantee. AT&T, connecting changes everything, terms and conditions apply, visit AT&T.com slash guarantee for details. This is Danielle Robay from Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club. A new car is kind of like a new book. It takes you places you never thought you could go. What will you drive into the next chapter of your life? It's fun to dream about your next car, but when you're done dreaming, you need to head

1:02to cars.com. Cars.com has the tools and expert advice to help you find your dream car. Their advanced search filters allow you to explore two million new and use cars so that you can find the perfect car. Start your search with cars.com. We're to next. In the next Rare Well Done, the thrive team helps two people with CIDP tackle the tricky issue of friendship. They say the quiet part out loud. In the event my CIDP, worsens, my friends might decide it's too much. Get nudged outside their comfort zone. I don't know if I want to. To forge stronger connections. The best thing that's happened to me, our friendship. To Rory. Watch Rory and Michelle take on the friendship factor. On the next episode of Rare Well Done. You leave work more easily when the unfinished part of your day has somewhere to wait. Welcome to seven good minutes. I'm Clyde Lee Dennis. Today is about that stretch of the evening when you're home, but your mind is still at work and what actually

2:03helps you arrive. Maybe it happens in the driveway. The engine is off. The kitchen light is on inside and you're still sitting there finishing an email in your head. Maybe it happens at the dinner table. Your daughter is telling you about something that happened at recess and you're nodding and part of you is back in the afternoon meeting, wondering if you said the wrong thing. Or maybe you work from home and you close the laptop on the same table where homework and dinner happen next and there's no line at all. Work just leaks into the rest of the evening. Then later you notice you were home for three hours and you never really got there. That costs you twice. It costs you the evening, the time you were working for in the first place, and it costs you the rest. The hours away from work are supposed to be when you recover, so tomorrow starts from a fuller tank. When your mind stays on the job, you don't get much of that. You start the next day already tired and a little guilty about the people you were only half with. The usual explanation we give ourselves is about personality. I'm bad at switching off.

3:07I'm just wired this way. Or, said a bit more proudly, I care too much about my work. Neither one helps because neither one gives you anything to do. It sounds like something you're stuck with. So let's look at it differently. Researchers who study recovery from work have a name for mentally leaving the job during your time off. They call it detachment. Not just being away from work, but not thinking about it. Across many studies, people who detach more in the evening tend to report less exhaustion and better well-being. And here's a detail that matters. This holds even for people who really like their jobs and are very engaged in them. Stepping away in your head isn't a sign that you care less. It's part of how people who care keep going. The same research finds that detachment gets harder on the heaviest days when there's time pressure and too much left undone, which is exactly when you'd need it most. So why does work follow you home? A big part of the answer is simple. It isn't finished.

4:07Our minds tend to keep unfinished business active. A task you haven't completed keeps tapping you on the shoulder, reminding you it's there. That's useful at work. At the dinner table, it's the reason you suddenly remember the client you didn't call back. One study of employees found that the more unfinished tasks people had at the end of the work week, the more they kept thinking about work over the weekend and the worse they slept. Now you can't finish everything before you leave. Nobody can. But there's a second way to quiet an unfinished task, and it's the most useful thing in today's episode. In a series of experiments, psychologists reminded people of important goals they hadn't finished yet. Those unfinished goals kept intruding on their thoughts and got in the way of other work. But when people made a specific plan, deciding exactly when and how they would take the next step, the intrusions eased. The goal still wasn't done. It just didn't need to keep reminding them anymore because it had a plan. That changes where the solution lives. Switching off isn't mostly something

5:14you do at home by trying to relax harder or push the thoughts away. It's something you set up at the end of the workday by giving the unfinished part a place to wait. And the plan has to be specific. Deal with the invoice tomorrow is still a loose end. Reply to Dana about the invoice first thing at 815 is a parked task. Your mind can tell the difference. There's a second smaller piece. Moving from work to home is a change of roles, and people have long used little markers to make that change. The commute, changing clothes, a certain door. When you work from home or when you're commute as a phone call, those markers disappear. So it can help to create one on purpose. Something small that says, this part of the day is over. I want to be honest about the limits. Some of you are on call. Some of you run a business where the phone rings at dinner and it matters. Some days work really does come home with you, and that's the right choice. None of this means you're doing it wrong. It means you can park what can wait, so you're

6:18carrying less of what doesn't need to come in the door. And if a work thought still shows up at 9 o'clock, don't treat it as proof that you can't switch off. It's usually just something that didn't get a plan. Give it one, and let it go back to waiting. In today's extra, I'll walk you through a two-minute way to park your work day before you walk in the door. Your mind was never refusing to come home. It was waiting to know where the unfinished work would stay. That does it for today's episode of Seven Good Minutes. Until next time, let's be civil to one another out there. Hey, it's Kelly Rowland. You may not know this, but I have Exema, so I get how it can steal your time. But why let Exema take over when you can talk to your doctor about Epglyce? Epglyce, lubricism app, LBKZ, a 250-mg per 2-ml injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older, who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kg, with moderate to severe Exema. Also called a topic dermatitis that is not well controlled with

7:19prescription therapies used on the skin, or topicals, or who cannot use topical therapies, Epglyce can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you are allergic to Epglyce. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. I problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have newer, worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Epglyce. Before starting Epglyce, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. Paid partnership with Lili. Respect your time. Ask your doctor about Epglyce and visit Epglyce.com, or call 1-800-LiliRX or 1-800-545-5979. Kitchen and bathroom professionals know what goes behind the tile matters. That's why trade pros trust Fiber cement, Party Backer Board to keep tile firmly in place, resist cracking, and help block moisture. Chosen in over 40 million kitchens and bathrooms, Party Backer Board, what the best build on. Shop now at participating Home Depot, Lowe's, and floor into core stores. For more information visit JamesHearty.com slash Hardy Backer.