r/Bestof Dominatrix GF Ignores My Safe Word

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2:09varies, see Mintmobile.com. Welcome to r-slash Best of Redditor Updates, where OP has a major problem with his dominatrix girlfriend. Our next reddit post is from r-slash and my the butthole weddings. I'm a 25 year old woman, and I lost my mom when I was 16. The most valuable thing she left me was her vintage wedding dress. It's been sitting safely in a preserved garment bag in my closet for years, and I've always planned on wearing it when I get married. My dad remarried Karen, who's 48, four years ago. Karen has a daughter, Lily, who's 23, who recently got engaged. Last month, Karen offered to take my mom's dress to a high-end specialty cleaner to freshen it up for me as a nice gesture. I thought it was sweet, so I handed it over. Two weeks passed, and every time I asked Karen if the dress was ready to be picked up, she dodged the question or claimed the cleaners were taking extra time. Yesterday, I went over to my dad's house unannounced to drop off mail. I walked into the living room, and Lily was standing

3:13there in my mom's dress, except it wasn't just my mom's dress anymore. Karen had taken it to a tailor and had the entire lace back ripped out. The long sleeves cut off into a strapless, sweetheart neckline, and the train completely removed to fit Lily's height and taste. I froze, and Karen casually said, Oh, we were going to surprise you. Lily fell in love with the silk fabric, and since you're not even engaged yet, we figured it was silly to let good material go to waste. I lost my absolute mind. I told Lily to take it off immediately. When she took it off, I grabbed the dress, packed it up, and locked it in my car. Karen started yelling that I was being completely irrational because the cuts were already made, and the dress was tailored to Lily now anyway, so taking it back was just pure spite. Lily is now sobbing because her fitting was ruined, and my dad called me last night begging me to just let Lily have the altered dress. He offered to buy me a brand new dress when my

4:17time comes, saying, What's done is done, and you're just ruining your sister's wedding over a piece of cloth that doesn't even fit you anymore. I told them all to go to hell, locked the butcher dress back in my closet, and told them they're dead to me unless they paid a restore to its original condition. If that's even possible. Now, my whole extended family is blowing up my phone, saying I'm being heartless, keeping a dress I can't even wear in its current state just to punish a bride. Obviously, there's updates coming. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm really shocked by the dad's behavior because this was the dress that presumably he married his wife wearing. And then he had OP with that wife. So this dad should have some amount of positive affection towards the wedding dress and his daughter's feelings. So why on earth is he siding with Karen in this story? Then two days later, OP posted an update. I took the dress to a local bridal restoration shop yesterday just to see what fixing it would actually look like. The news was bad. The tailor

5:23Karen used basically gutted the inner structure and cut away vintage lace panels that can't just be sewn back on. To get it anywhere near its original state with matching vintage lace, the owner estimated it's going to cost around $3,500. And even then, it won't be 100% identical to what my mom wore. I called my dad and Karen last night and told them they have until next Friday to put down the deposit with the restoreer. Or I'm taking the probate paperwork from my mom's estate and going to the police to file a report for theft and property damage. And then taking Karen to small claims courts. Karen immediately lost her mind and started screaming that I'm trying to put my own family in jail over old fabric. My dad is in full panic mode begging me not to do it because he says it'll ruin Lily's wedding and wreck them financially. Lily actually texted me this morning claiming she had no idea Karen took the dress without asking.

6:23And thought that we had made some kind of deal. But she's still refusing to help pay for the restoration because she says she's an innocent bystander in all of this. I'm holding firm on next Friday at 5 p.m. If the restoreer doesn't have the deposit by then, I'm going straight to the police station with the text receipts and the before and after photos. I feel sick to my stomach about all of this. But I feel like if I don't set this boundary now, they're just going to walk all over me for the rest of my life. Then six days later, OP posted an update. Things have completely escalated. And honestly, reading through your comments made me realize that waiting around for a deadline was pointless. On Tuesday, my dad came over to my place to try to reason with me. By reason, I mean that he spent an hour crying on my couch telling me that paying $3,500 for the restoration would mean pulling money straight out of Lily's wedding fund. He admitted Karen threatened to leave him if he paid for it. And he literally begged me to just accept $500

7:26in cash and to let it go for the sake of the family. I told him absolutely not and showed him the door. Then yesterday, things took an absolute turn. Lily's fiance, Mark, reached out to me directly. Mark was furious because Lily had told him I willingly let Karen take the dress to get altered for her. When he saw how bad things were getting and realized Karen had tricked me into handing it over under the guise of dry cleaning, they got into a massive fight. Mark told her he's reconsidering the wedding if she doesn't take accountability and help fix this. Karen lost her mind and sent me a string of unhinged voice notes accusing me of destroying her daughter's relationship and being evil and spiteful. That was the final straw. I knew right then they were never going to pay a dime to fix this dress and were just trying to manipulate me. Yesterday afternoon, I met with a local attorney who looked over my mom's probate records the before and after photos and the texts were

8:26Karen admitted she took the dress to a tailor under false pretenses after I handed it to her for cleaning. My lawyer confirmed I have a rock solid case for both civil litigation and grand larceny slash property destruction given the dress's value and the damage done. Directly after leaving my lawyer's office yesterday evening, I walked straight into the police station and filed an official report against Karen. My dad has gone completely radio silent and Karen is panicking now that law enforcement is actually involved. My hands are still shaking from the stress of it all but I'm finally standing my ground. Then two weeks later, OPPO said an update, chat you won't even believe what's been happening. Things went from zero to a hundred faster than I could have ever imagined and police were officially called to my house. Yesterday morning, I got a text from Mark asking if we could talk privately. He came over and apologized profusely for everything his family

9:27put me through. He told me that after reading the texts and seeing how Lily and Karen were acting, he confronted Lily about the dress again. My step sister doubled down, claiming I was overreacting about an ugly old gown and that I was just trying to ruin her special day. That was the final straw for him. Mark said that watching her show zero remorse and realizing she'd been lying to his face about us working it out made him realize that he couldn't marry into a family with such a complete lack of integrity and basic empathy. He officially called off the wedding, packed his things and moved out. Naturally, instead of reflecting on her daughters or her own actions, Karen blamed the entire breakup on me. About two hours after Mark left, I heard furious banging on my front door. It was Karen. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, slamming her fists on the door, and demanding I open up right now and fix the mess I made. She was yelling that I ruined my stepdaughter's life,

10:29destroyed her family, and that I needed to call the police immediately to drop the grand larceny charges. I told her through my rang doorbell that she was trespassing and needed to leave, or I was calling 911. She lost her mind even more and started kicking my front door and pulling on the door handle. I called 911 right then and there. Dispatch could hear her screaming in the background, so officers arrived within five minutes. They caught her right on my porch, mid rant, still trying to kick the door in. I showed the officers the rain camera footage and they handcuffed her on the spot for trespassing and harassment. Because I already had an active police report open for the dress theft and destruction, the officers added this incident directly to her file and served her with a temporary trespass order. While Karen was being booked, my dad came over to my house alone, and we finally had a long, tearful conversation. He looks completely broken. He started off by profusely apologizing for how he handled everything, including the crying on my couch and him asking me

11:34to accept $500 and trying to sweep Karen's actions under the rug. He explained that after my mom passed, he was so terrified of being alone and losing another partner that he let Karen manipulate him for years. He thought that if he just kept the piece and gave her whatever she wanted, he could hold the family together. The turning point for him was seeing Karen handcuffed on my front porch on the rain camera, screaming at me like a lunatic. He said hearing her call my mom's dress an ugly old gown and watching her completely destroy Lily's engagement opened his eyes to who she really is. He realized that in his desperate attempt not to lose Karen, he was actively losing me, his actual daughter, and trampling on my mom's memory. He literally told me that Karen basically sucks and turned out to be a complete monster. He packed his bags and moved out of their house. He told me he's contacting a divorce attorney on Monday and that he fully supports whatever

12:35legal action I take against Karen for the dress. He even offered to pay for the 3500 restoration out of his own savings, completely separate from whatever happens with the police report or small claims court. I'm not saying everything is completely healed between us overnight, but hearing him finally wake up, take accountability, and stand up for my mom's memory meant everything to me. My lawyer is proceeding with a civil suit against Karen using the rank footage, the police reports, and Mark's witness statement. I'm still shaken up, but for the first time in weeks, I actually feel like I can breathe again. Our next reddit post is from BNBN. Lily is my first girlfriend, she's 27, and we've been together for two years now. For the most part, it's been great. After a while, we started discussing what we're into sexually, and after some exploring, it turns out I like pain and being restrained and some other jazz. It gets pretty rough, but I usually enjoy it, being whipped with a belt, scratched, and being tied up.

13:36The problem is there are times when I use our safe word, Spamoni. When she's using the belt on my back, or when she's tied me up, and I need the restraints loosened, she just keeps going or says, just another few minutes, or sometimes pretends not to hear me at all. It hurts a lot with this stuff, and that extra time turns it from pleasure to pain, which I can't enjoy. She usually says a half-sorry, but sometimes tells me, I'm hers. I know that I'm submissive in the bedroom with her, but to me that's too much. So how do I really stop this? It's at a point where I feel anxious on a regular basis, which is draining. I'm also starting to resent this woman who's taught me so much and given me two great years, so I don't want to end it, just fix it. Luckily, everyone in the comments is straight up saying, this is abuse, ignoring a safe word is abuse, you need to end the relationship, and then three days later, OP posted an update. I got so much advice, and a lot of blunt answers, which made me realize things I should have seen

14:40earlier. And one thing that I'd like to mention before I say what happened. I know I should have realized what was happening, but it felt really cloudy as it was going on. I didn't realize that what was happening had been more of a gradual process, like her temper, then eventually walking on eggshells to avoid setting her off, and finally the issues in the bedroom. Anyway, a few hours after posting and reading, I knew that breaking up was my only option, but that scared the stuffing out of me. So I saw it until morning and tried finding reasons to stay, but I couldn't. I knew if I didn't do it while it was fresh, I wouldn't be able to leave it all. I waited until she went to work in the morning and put my stuff in my car. Then I started writing down what I needed to say, which took a while. I texted her that we needed to talk, and I asked if she could come home for lunch. I explained that I've been uncomfortable with our sex life, her anger issues, and then told her that I can't be with her any longer. Her response kind of surprised me. She blamed me for not being

15:41a proper sub and respecting her dominance in the bedroom, and said that she's going to reduce her temper and will stay together, etc. This led to some crying and shouting, which was awful, but I stood firm. Some other stuff happened, which I don't want to go into, but I eventually got out and was able to drive off. I think it's done, but I have so many texts and missed calls from her that I'm ignoring. As for the living situation, I was living in her house, so no issues with the lease or anything. I've managed to sleep a couple of nights in my university library, and I think I'll go home to my mom's house tomorrow or the next day. Down in the comments, I want to read this reply from Quizboaller. My ex assaulted me and threatened to stab me when I was with her, and because I was a mixed martial arts fighter getting ready for a fight, people didn't believe she was abusing me. Protect yourselves, friends. True, abuse can happen to anyone from anyone, so make sure you find a healthy partner. Our next red-opposis from our slash relationships. My boyfriend,

16:44whom I've been with for four years, is a great guy, but he's driving me crazy because of one weird thing. He falls asleep all the time. It sounds really weird to be frustrated by, but it's constant. He'll fall asleep while it's still light out. He'll fall asleep sitting upright. We'll be having a conversation and he'll suddenly be asleep. He's even fallen asleep midway through his own sentences before. Part of me thinks it could be a medical issue. He's slightly underweight, and I've asked whether that could be a contributing factor, but he doesn't try to change it. He isn't depressed, narcoleptic, or anything else I can think of, and I'm hesitant to think it could be medical because when we go out with friends, he's up till 3 a.m. with no problems. He's never fallen asleep at work, or when we're in public. It's as if he just can't be bothered expending any effort at all if he's at home. It's getting in the way of our love life. It's hard to make time for intercourse when you're hardly at home together, and then your

17:44partners asleep when you are. We don't watch TV or movies together because it'll fall asleep. Even if it's noon on a Sunday, I don't like having friends over in the evening because he'll go to bed early, and I'll worry about making noise and waking him. It happens all the time. I've mentioned it's an issue so many times, and each time he says he can change. I don't know how he would, but he's never even tried anything. I'm so confused. I even tried to compromise and asked if he could just warn me when he's tired, so I'm not talking to myself after he's dosed off. He doesn't though. Do I just accept that this is how it is and live with it? Then two days later, OP posted an update, so I sat my boyfriend down and explained my concerns about his health, the impact the problem is causing on our relationship, and how I feel about his false promises to change. He reacted by first telling me it was MY fault he gets tired, and then switching to saying I don't understand what it's like to be tired from a full-time job.

18:46That was a low blow. As even though I work less hours than he does with my job, I'm currently studying a master's degree full-time too, so I'm working incredibly hard. I showed him my post, and he changed his tune. Seeing other people saying his sleep issues were concerning made him do a complete 180. He apologized for not taking the problem seriously. He decided to fix his eating habits as the first thing he tried, as that seemed the most likely cause. He seemed pretty open that his diet wasn't good. I told him he also needed to work on our relationship and he agreed. He said he wanted us to work and that he loved me, so he was willing to do anything. It did not end up that way. The next day, it was as if he had forgotten everything he promised. He was eating chips, falling asleep, and not talking to me about anything. When he still hadn't looked into his diet the next day, I asked him to. We ended up arguing, and he admitted that for years he made promises to change without any intention of actually changing, just to shut me up.

19:50It wasn't just promises over his sleep issues, it was everything. He also admitted that he believes apologizing means that I should automatically forgive him no matter what he's done wrong. And he said that it's not okay for me to ever get mad at him, even though he's often mad at me. It was just so warped and it hurt a lot to hear. I cried and he said he didn't know what to say, so he went to bed. So I cried alone. I broke up with him. I told a mutual friend about his sleep issues and asked him to keep an eye on him so I know that he's not alone. He seems devastated that I'm leaving, and he made more promises to change, but I think this will be the best for him in the long run. I think this will force him to confront his issues without having someone to blame or rely on. I know it's the best thing for me. Okay, this guy thinks that apologizing automatically absolves you of any wrongdoing. But the thing is, if you apologize but don't actually plan to do anything about what you did wrong, then it's not really an apology, it's just words,

20:54mere vibrations in the air, gone as quickly as they were made. So I don't even think his own logic works because I don't think what he said was really an apology. It's just the words I'm sorry, which are meaningless without action behind them. That was our slash best of redditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day. Finding a doctor is hard enough. Finding the right doctor, even harder. Someone who takes your insurance has an available appointment when you need one and feels like someone you can actually open up to. That's where Zock.com's in. Download the Zock.com app to search and compare doctors by specialty, insurance, and availability. Read real-patient reviews, find the right fit for you, and book instantly because getting seen by the right doctor matters. Zock.com, ready to be seen? Download the Zock.com app today.