Pretty Little Episode #112

0:00This is a headgun podcast. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether it's wolf it down or wolf it down before referencing my hungry eating on the podcast. I regret the error. Thankfully, whenever we make a mistake on the podcast, we get a correction from the hundreds of our dear, dear listeners. Yeah, check in first as handsome. So check all state first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability all state North American insurance company and affiliates Northbrook Illinois. Handsome child friends all mad some part. Child and the friends all the handsome part. Pretty little episode. What was the heads of thoughts pretty love so. It's me fortune, Feemster and me may mark.

1:01I just had a little coughing for it. I thought you were choking so I decided to go on in there with the introduction. Thank you for that. My friend always got my back. That's right. I have a hard time, you know, drinking water and breathing at the same time. It is complicated, you know, complicated. You never know how hard it is to breathe until you can't. Have you ever had a coughing fit on stage? Oh, I sure have. I was in Eureka Springs, Arkansas and I had just eaten a shark. Could we board a free show? This is all very on point. And about midway through the show, I started coughing and then I caught and then also in my cough real big and a piece of cheese. I'm out of my mouth. Lord onto the floor and I went. Did you guys see that? And they were like, yeah. Oh my God, they probably thought it was part of your lung. I don't know. I was like, that was disgusting.

2:01I mean, it was just a piece of cheese. Just lodged in there. Oh, so yeah, sometimes it happens. Have you ever caught a pocket? I had to use my pocket. Yeah, I had a coughing fit. I flew to Australia to do the festivals and I must have caught like pneumonia on the plane. I have never been that sick and then I coughed in a televised, like when you have a five minute set at a gala and just started coughing and then when I had to speak again, my voice was like a little frog. Oh no. And then in the edit, they cut the coughing out but halfway through my set, my voice just becomes like, anyway, guys. Oh my gosh. It was bad. Yeah. That might have been the trip where I met you. It might have been. Yeah, it's back in like 2016 or something. Yeah. Yeah. I was on a mod terror journey. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was like single and not the festival with the motor singling and mingling.

3:01Yeah. Yeah. How were you, bud? I'm good. I'm currently in Florida right now doing some shows. My tour is at the tail end. I pulled into the hotel and in one of the parking spaces was a huge iguana. No. I was like, I'm definitely in Florida. Okay. Should we Google what that means spiritually? Well, I mean, they're everywhere here just to know. Yeah. Did you know that when it gets cold here, iguanas fall out of the tree? No. They just freeze. Yeah. They like it freezes them and they fall out of the trees. Wow. It's a thing. There's a lot of iguanas here. Yeah. And they're big, right? They're very big. I mean, they're small and stupid. These are ginormous. Now on my way here, my mom called me and she was reminiscing about her love of Florida for when she was in her childhood.

4:02They used to come here and then we were about to hang up and she was, oh, I have to remind you that Florida is full of alligators. Wherever there's water, there's an alligator. I'm to, if you're sitting by a pretty chair with water near, there's an alligator. Oh my God. And then she proceeds to tell me this horrifying story of this woman in an old folks community by the, the, the had a lake and you can imagine it didn't end well because it involved an alligator. She's like gobbled down. Yes. Trying to save her dog. And I was like, why are you calling to tell me this? She was, they can even be in the pools. So check your hotel swimming pool. I'm just like, did you call just to terrify me about bodies of water in Florida? But she'd be so pissed if you did get eaten by an alligator and she hadn't. I called her. Yeah. That's right. They are scary as hell.

5:02They're dinos. They're, yeah, they're, um, she was telling me how fast they are. Oh God. Yeah. I, there's some urban legend about a person who gets dragged underwater by an alligator and then there's into like an underwater cave where, where there's all the bodies. So that the, that must be fake. I have no one. But I'm definitely not going to walk by any water. Yeah. Um, I can promise you that. I don't want to let her down. If you're doing some bench sitting, just make sure you're in an urban place. No, I'm not going to have any, not even a puddle near me. Hey, um, you know how we had our nicknames were LLC, anxious slot and easy tick. Yeah. Um, somebody online said that you should be business bitch. I like that. I like it. Business bitch like peanut butter rich is good. Business bitch. It's so fun when I see people wearing the peanut butter bitch shirts out at my shows.

6:04Have you seen that? That's great. I know that. This is the little peanut butter bitch out in the wild. Yeah. I've been eating a lot of peanut butter recently actually. Me too. Well, not a lot, but I was at my hotel in Durham. They randomly had a little two ounce thing of peanut butter in the mini bar. And why doesn't every hotel do that? I know. It's like artisan peanut butter. Yeah. It was only like six bucks, which you know, for a mini bars, I felt was pretty reasonable. Not bad. So I was like, I'm taking this little peanut butter bitch with me. Yeah. I'm fighting for this. Yeah. So I did. Yeah. I don't, I don't want like a peanut butter power bar peanut butter granola bar. I want, I want the butter. Yeah. I want that creamy, um, I'm a crush. I'm a crush. I'm a crush. I goodness. Yeah. Yeah. Well, um, I'm, I've been watching survivor. What have I been doing? Painting, painting a picture of Parvade's mom.

7:07All right. You know, you got to do what you got to do. How did Parvade's mom become your subject? There's this beautiful photo of her. So her and Parv's dad went on a cruise and they, they bought nice clothes before they went because they knew that they'd have like a date night on the cruise. And so I guess he snapped this photo of her in their little cabin on the cruise. She's just like flipping her hair and just got a glass of champagne and it looks like, it's just such a beautiful photo and there's so much like joy in it. My new thing is I'm only painting, I'm pausing on the emotional animal paintings. I'm painting moments that I would want to live in. Like nice moments. Yeah. Nice moments. So hot momolar. Huh. Oh, listen, not hot momolar. Hot momolar. That's not what I'm painting. It sounds like to me. Rew, rew. Now I'm going to paint her, I'm going to paint her dad. Hot mom. Yeah. I just like a good photo that has movement to it and feeling, you know. I'd like to see these paintings when they're done.

8:08I got to do my free. I've got to do my free. It's a hot mom. I know you love a hot mom. I should paint your hot mom. I should do a ginger painting. Yeah, she will love that. If you have a photo of her that you really love, I would love to do that. I will, I will look to see what I have. I'm sure I have something. I respond well to like a task. Like, give me an assignment. I look for an older picture right now. She wouldn't want to picture paint in the mirror because she has a big old black eye. Oh, right. Yeah. She's face planted and just landed right on the old eyeball. Oh, God. I'm God. It wasn't her nose. I know. I'm, my dad felt like two years ago and broke his nose. So, you know, parents get older, man. It's a parents fault joke. It's not a, it ain't no joke. The following is something I used to, I remember with my grandmother, but you kind of forget about it because my grandmother's passed long since and now that we're entering this phase, I'm like, oh, yeah, like staying on their feet is not easy.

9:10Yeah, which is wild. There should be more. Yeah, like, when does that happen that you just get on balance, but there should be more, like my, I have a trainer in Toronto who I worked with when I was making wayward and his specialty is working with older people on balance. Yeah. And like strengthening their, their legs and their core. We had someone come in today that's going to meet with her once a week to keep working on the balance. Oh, great. That's going to get one of those life alerts, one of those. I've fallen and I can't get up. Where did that phrase enter public conscious? That was a commercial for life alert. No way. Oh, yeah, it was the old woman falling and going, I've fallen and I can't get up. Really? Just Mark. We all like cause yeah, I knew that phrase. We're cruel, a cruel society. Like pre-internet when things would just get around, I guess I knew help I've fallen and I can't get up. Yeah, I got to find her one of those systems.

10:11I don't know which one to get. I thought there's great ones. I need something where if she falls, she can press that button because she also can't, she actually can't get up. So yeah, she was in a pickle for a while and nobody knew. Oh, I hate that. What about she's on camera? She's on camera. Like putting some cameras up. Maybe. I don't know. If you don't hear from her, you can just check in. Yeah. Yeah, I'm on her and then freak her out. Just cloud her. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I get enough pizza for everyone before calling in an order. Mama Mia, I did my pizza math wrong and now we're completely out of pies but not completely full. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check all state first for an auto quote. They could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state, North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbroke Illinois.

11:15Well, should we get to some questions? Yes, please. Let's do it. Hey, handsome pod. My name's Lena and I'm from the San Francisco Bay area. I'm a big fan, love listening to you all, especially at the end of the day as part of my wine done routine. My question is, if you had to pick one iconic dance choreography to learn and replicate, what would you choose? It could be from a movie, a music video, a Broadway musical, whatever. Oh, that's good. You know, it's funny every time I watch TikTok because there will be some sort of dance that comes in and out like very popular and everyone does it and it feeds it up to you over and over again. And every time I watch those things, I was like, I could do that. And then you could know I could. Some of them may be, but they're some are very intricate. And I'm always like, I could easily do that. Would you ever do dancing with the stars?

12:17I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so. You got more moves than take or I like take on the dance floor. We know just like sort of claps and bobs and snaps and claps and bobs. You can tear it up. It looks, I mean, Nikki Glazer didn't say it was so hard. Really? So yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I have that in me. Okay, the first dance that came to mind for me was Saturday Night Fever, John Travolta and his dance partner. I like a 70s disco. He was so good. Yeah, yeah. So I think maybe that one, obviously dirty dancing. Oh, you want to do the, do you want to be the one lifted or the one lift lifting? I'd like to talk about be lifted. You want to be lifted? Yeah, well Brett Goldstein and I did a live show that we would always end with a dance

13:17and he would lie on his back and kind of Superman me like, look at me and it felt good. Yeah, all right. I felt like a little princess. Well, that last dance they do is iconic. Yeah. You know, they're all in a triangle. He's at the front. They're dancing towards baby. Yeah. They're doing a little look back and look forward. Oh, yeah, that's good. And she's like, and she's like, go to YouTube. The fortune just did it. The look back and the look back into this and then yeah, do the little dip down and then she does this and then he's like ready for and then she runs in. Oh, yeah. Tom of my life. Okay. Well, we got a challenge for the Holly Bob show then. We got to start practicing some kind of dance. I think I'll see my teachers that day of anything. I, it's all I want is to have that's an iconic dance for sure. I wouldn't mind learning that one.

14:18Imagine if you just had like four months with no work and your only assignment was to like do one day self-fetterment. Like yeah, you have the time in this base to be like, okay, three days a week, I'm learning this dance with this instructor. Yeah. I think you could be pretty good at that dance if you had all that time for it. We anyone could do anything. That's right. I'm learning. I would be able to do anything. I would be able to do that dance. I also would wouldn't mind analing beyond say all the single ladies. Oh, yeah. I know about what 12 years behind on that one. No, but it's ever green. Yeah. It's that. I learned a little, you know, arm thing. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and then the hand, you know, and we know it. Like I've always wanted to do a magic mic thing to pony. Oh, yeah. I keep talking about it and then have nothing to deliver. So that I'm yeah, that was what Lena has to say.

15:20Maybe she has ideas. Yeah. So I actually did this when I turned 50. I was feeling this pull to get back into dancing and music partly after my dad passed away. I'd always loved dirty dancing. That final dance since first seeing them that movie in high school. And so I decided I was going to learn the whole thing. I hired a ballroom dance instructor. I spent so long working on it. And wow, it was tons and tons of fun. Lots of joy, lots of fun, but it was so much harder than it looks. Okay. Thanks. And keep up the great work. She's like just so you know, it's going to be very hard. I know. And she was, she said she was getting back into dancing. So she already had a foundation. Oh, no. Well, that one might be tough. I know it takes. I know we have to learn that one. No offense today. What about him in Chicago? He had a comment. That's the one that's a.

16:23Cicero. Come on. Okay. All that time. And then I know that jazz. And then they do this little. Let's learn. Can we put that on the list, Thomas? It might already be on there. It's ringing about there. Can we put that on the list, Thomas? It might already be on there. It's ringing about there. Jazz. Yes. That's a good one too. A little Bob Fossil. I mean, I'm like since I saw Rocky Horror on Broadway, I'm feeling so inspired to. I'm like, let's put on a charity show and we do a musical. Like we all, I just want to get out there and dance. I actually think TIG might be able to learn all that jazz before the time of my life song. Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah. Thomas says it's already on the list. Yeah, it's from the drag queen. We decided to learn a dance from Chicago. Maybe that way we need to learn that for the Hollywood show. Yeah. At least we're consistent. At least these themes keep coming up.

17:25She's one of us has to have a jazz dancer friend. Yeah, right? I don't personally, but maybe. I just take up to when I said right by the way, I started to know somebody. TIG knew the tap dancer in Austin. I'm going to put the word out there. I think I do know someone, a choreographer. You know, and you get out, we'll hat you to the little, oh, hell yeah. I'm a little wet. And then you even do this little thing with your, yeah, you do. It's an all these little intricacies. But the first you got to have rhythm, you got to have the rhythm of life. And that's what I'm worried about. I don't know if I have it, but I know I am a must. I must somewhere. Yeah. I simply must. Well, that I really want to have happen now at the Hollywood bulbs. I'm with you. I'll help organize that. Okay. Yes. Let's get another question. Yes, indeed. Hi, Fortune, May and TIG. My name is Danielle and I'm recording in Rochester, New York, where I moved two years ago, but I'm originally from Toronto.

18:26Hey. I've been a fan from the beginning and recommend you to all my friends. My question for you is, if you were a nurse, what sort of specialty would you like to work in? There's cardiology, dermatology, mental health, labor and delivery, ER, nursing, OR nursing, and there's many more. Feel free to choose one that I didn't think of. Oh, that's terrifying. The thought about being a nurse because I know I would be a terrible nurse. Would you faint at blood? It's just so hard. I mean, hospitals are so tough. Yes. Yes. I went to the visit the children's hospital with the charity event I do that I sometimes go to called Big Slick in Kansas City. And we go to the visit the kids and so rewarding and amazing, but you just look at these nurses and they're like, how do they do this? They're at the children's hospital.

19:26Such bad shape sometimes. And that one would be a very difficult field in nursing in my opinion. Yeah. My good friend was an ER nurse during the pandemic and stuff. Like it's crazy. They should be getting paid more than anyone. I had a ER doctor come up to me in Louisville and he was like, I just want to tell you I was listening to your comedy during the pandemic. I'm an ER doctor and it helped get me through and I was like, I want to buy you a drink. I'm like, no, like you think you like. Yeah. So what are you doing? The stuff. Oh my God. Wow. I just couldn't believe it. Like, yeah, those are heroes for sure. I think I would go with mental health, I guess, because I think I'm too squeamish for anything else.

20:27Yeah, I think I'd find that interesting. But man, intense. Yeah, my dad had open heart surgery a couple years ago. So it would have been the cardiology. Man, those nurses were pretty incredible. He ended up on a ventilator for three days and when he came out of it, his nurse was just like, I was praying for him every day. And you just like forget like there is just as invested in it. And people's well-being and getting them the better that's got to take a toll. But I felt that was, it just gave me such a new appreciation for nurses seeing like how much she cared about my dad and him getting better. And you know, she was coming in and out trying to make him comfortable. And I just, man, it meant a lot. So cardiology could be interesting.

21:28I mean, but you know, I have to say the birth, the birthing of the babies. That'd be pretty cool. That'd be pretty cool. Yeah. That's a positive one. Yeah, I don't think poverty in any operating room. Like what if you did, what if you had a coughing fit and a piece of cheese came out and it went into the cheese going right up? Someone's who ha. Yeah, no, as I'm there to catch the baby. Yeah, I think they were. It's a catch them. Yeah, you just catch them. They pop right out. You catch it like cool amount. Oh my God. I mean, obviously, listen, I know there's a lot that can, can it does go wrong in childbirth as well. It's not all rainbows and butterflies over there. But seeing the cute little babies that are born. Yeah, that's a nice real, real treat. Although they're pretty grotesque when they first come out, they all look like little shriveled up old men. Slimey things. Yeah, they're cute though. Yeah. I don't know how to say. My answer is that I actually am a nurse and I work in urology.

22:31That's right. Urology to do with the urinary tract system and memory production. Not to be confused with neurology, which is the brain. That's right. I know that fortune did not choose urology because I do have to touch winners all day long. But seriously, at the end of the day for me, it's about the working conditions and the team. I am happy at my current workplace because I am treated well and I have great co-workers. Thanks so much for airing my question. You are the best. The only pod that has me laughing out loud alone driving in my car. Oh, thanks too. I have to touch winners all day long. Yeah, girl, you do that. I'll let you do that. I hope she calls them winners to their patients. I know. She's like, okay, and just pop your winner on the table. Oh, I can't just call them anything else but winners. It's just what they are to me. Well, we appreciate you, Daniela. It's really cool. You keep those winners in good health. Yes. Please do. What do you got coming up?

23:33I only have a couple things on this Sunday, October 11th. I'm doing a show at UCB with the Lanna Johnston and Matt Foley. We're just doing improv. And you can get live stream tickets. Please do. That is so helpful to us. And watch it from anywhere in the world. And the link is up for a week. And then November 12th, I'm at Largo doing a music show, which is going to be very cool. I have a ton of California shows coming up from Oakland, the Bakerfield, Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo. I'd love people to come to my Los Angeles show November 7th, Palm Springs. And then I just added Greeley, Colorado, and Mid November. So check that out. And get your tickets for our Holly Bob show. Yes. December 12th at Downey's The Typewriter, Live Stream. We're putting out early this year, because we want people to have a runway, to make a night of it if they want to, have a handsome Holly Bob party. And we're excited for that. If you have any questions or advice that you'd like to ask us, go to SpeakPipe.com slash HansenPod.

24:36Yes, please keep sending your questions. And we'll see you next time. Keep it. Pretty handsome. Hansen is hosted by me, May Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feemster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at HansenPod at gmail.com. And please follow us on social media at HansenPod. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate gun podcast. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if the glasses I picked out have a specific vibe before buying them. Oops, apparently they're reminiscent of a famous horror novelist, iconic look, and now I'm getting teased. Yeah, check in first at Sansum. So check all state first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

25:36All state North American insurance company and affiliates, North Brook, Illinois.