767: Ripped The Cock Off

0:00Nicky Glazer, this stunning tour. The thoughts of death I don't like to dwell on them for longer than like 10 or 15 hours a day, so... November 19th, Yamavath Theater. No wonder women rushed to have kids were being trained for it since we were kids. They're like, here's a baby doll. Here's an easy-bait coffin. I got one of those. I stuck my head in it. I was like, I want out of this narrowness. Tickets on sale now at Yamavath Theater.com. Don't miss Nicky Glazer. Yamavath Theater. Hey Spotify listeners, when you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admiral's Club lounge, with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at AA.com. All right, man, that seems not for fucking radio.

1:05He's awesome. More of the rural. Oh, jeez, we're here for it. I don't know if you know, but Jay grew up with a farm and that's right up his alley. I haven't mentioned it before. Bit of a rural check in giving half a mask. Half log pretty quick. Particularly if you can get it at a stock sale. Oh, we have people are in between chats about animals and you just slide in and say something like, how about that fucking nod for radio, eh? Oh yeah. Just sevey can get some old fish heads just leaning over a rail talking about here if it wait. One of my mates who is working at the fish and chip shop with is an auctioneer for stock. And he fucking looks like one too big, burly lad, air tech, shards fucking. And just goes to the full like, you know, it's like Eminem style wrapping auctioneering. Who was it that I ended up absolutely locked horns with till the fucking wee hours? His old boy was an enforcer for Richard Lowe son.

2:05Oh yeah. He fucking literally looks like copy paste of the old boy. Really? Yeah, great lad. Richard Lowe for those that don't know, former great Canary player and all black. But just one of the one of the last era of would come up out of a fucking rock and a scrum swinging. Oh yeah. He was famous for it. And he's so like so malo now for the most part. He's so malo. Yeah, we met him down south. Yeah, he's awesome. He was famous for his digital ophthalmology where he would check your eyes with his fungus. The old eye rake. Fuck, funnily enough. It's the old fucking exorblek. Ten random next door. Ten random next door. Son Duncan Garners podcast next all year. Um. So yeah, these Jesus hanging in the back there of his little Skype shot. Apparently the boys have just been chatting for 45 minutes. That's going to be a belt and they're like, we haven't even record yet. David Long, episode that one.

3:07No, no, just fucking it. Starting them. Yeah, so yeah, nah. Yeah, great kid all needed to say. Yeah, thanks mate. Yeah, you see a later. I probably don't want to run over there. No, you're doing it here. No, you're going to appointment him. You get to. Yeah, ready yet. I'm welcome to not for radio where your host Duncan hired Jay Reeve. That's weird. Happy Thursday to you. If you would like to support us, the best way to do it is become sniper elite in exchange for that. We'll give you two extra episodes and free a week plus access to all the previous, you know, couple of hundred Monday Tuesday episodes. And if you click like on the episode notes now, unlike for the last two fucking months, when you click on become sniper elite, the left works. It's amazing. And technology these days, incredible. And to that, the whole point of your photo, fucking wire on about it before. But it's about basically feeding the backs. What we're trying to do is a real team move version of Mr. Beast here. So the money comes in. We spend that money on cool shit that you get to do. Like this is where you say you want to feel just to talk about this on the episode. Last week, where's off to the rugby league grand final this coming Sunday, which is

4:10super excited, made the call after the podcast on Monday. Is that the call we do? All right. Hey, you know, who's this? Who's that? Yeah. We are you there. It's Jane Dunk from not for radio made how are. What the fuck? So good. Wait, can you put on, can you pull over and jump off speak phone? Because it sounds like what you know, we're talking three. Tore and S. Sounds like he's throwing right. San, just using the You know, you know, it's about it. Yeah, hold right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks for that. I, who are we speaking to? Where about to you in the world? I'm with and I'm from on the. Where's from Aussie? Well, this is fucking great. I'm going to. I'm going to. Up on the Maori River. By the Maori River. Now, I don't know how close that is to the grand fucking final of NRO,

5:14but you're going, buddy. Holy fuck. You little beauty. Oh, you little beauty. You little fucking beauty. You little beauty. Oh, man. Oh, man. You're like a shooting dog. You're allowed to be. I'll let you catch your breath. Here's what you want. So obviously the finals is coming weekend. Chucks are taking on the, the, the nights. Two silver category tickets to the pre-miss-hip grand final. Two passes to the pre-game kickoff party. We'll get your grand final trophy opportunity, which will be the photo with I would imagine. Return flights for two. I'm guessing out of where you'll be flying out of Melbourne. Melbourne, yeah. So to Sydney, you'll be staying Saturday and Sunday night at the Sheraton Grand High Park, Sydney Hotel, and obviously transfers as well. She's up. Great. Absolutely. Great winner. Could not have been more perfect.

6:14So that's what it's all about. We'd like to feed the backs on the sniper elite, you know, support you guys for supporting us. Now I'm starting to think, obviously we've got every single warrior's jersey. We're going to be giving away that prize a couple times before the end of the year. I'm now sort of starting to think, what's the next one? Because now we're in the opposite ear. Is it like a Premier League game or something? Well, it's in someone from the Southern hemisphere north. Or from the States. It doesn't matter. They could win it from England. Yeah, it's a better. It's a random draw. Just well. No, no, no. If someone wins it from England, then you just pay them for a short accommodation and short flight to Weber becomes cheaper, giving away again. Yeah, good idea. Fucking filler that again. Just while we're on rubber leg, though, for a second, Deleon, the rugby league awards that we down last night. Oh, yeah. So, we've got the prize. Although we got bundled out in fucking unceremonious fashion by the Newcastle nights, who are marching on to the final this weekend. I wish them all the very best. We got coach of the year, captain of the year with Fisher Harris, prop of the year with

7:15the big fish. And then we got hooker of the year and we got lock of the year where they're in class. And tackle the year. Who was tackle the year? To a cookie. Oh, on who? It was the one that Mount Smite and he ran the dude down the eagle. Yes, and he tackled one foot. And he maybe even got him out too as a fucking amazing one. Just did not give up. Yes, outstanding. First sight, I think it's maybe the second or third time ever that the coach is one, Delieem twice, which is amazing. It seems weird that Wayne Bennett hasn't won it twice, but any who. And also, everyone was like, fuck it out. How is the Newcastle coach as fucking Rob from Wooden Spoon to Grand Final, surely? But it's regular season stuff and they sort of farded their way through the regular season. And so people forget, like, what Delieem is basically on regular season, it's not on finals footy. Yeah, well, it's just unfair then because you can ever play the plays out of a skin and a shit team the entire year. And then he's got no chance of winning it because the other pipe teams get to play three more games. Exactly. So great stuff to fuck proud of the Waz. Yes, it was near a year, but it is there a year.

8:16Hey, this episode of Not for Radio Sports, you buy classic builders. A builder that actually feels a little bit more like, you know, one of our fellow snipers. Hardworking, practical, not too flashy. I tell you what, they're going to be the one me and Jay out at the moment and beanie boy. Fuck, we are hanging on for dear life. They've got another sinus infection, which is why I sound like I'm talking my fingers up my nose. And then I looked across and beanie boys wearing a Michael Jackson, like, wrist glove thing. Woo! And then she's doing anything. It was like a fucking sock on your wrist. It's so fucking loose. Well, it stops the dribbles coming down my wrist. It's about it. It's just a bit of compression on it. I tried to go to the doctor this morning, but I booked myself in a month's time. So, showed up 15 minutes and a month early. Now, it's just a bit of compression. I've gone and sprained my wrist doing exercises that were meant to strengthen my wrist. Oh, no. Sorry. You got a hold little weight. Let's see, it hits down, do a little move. I thought in elbow operation. Oh, mate. This whole arm's just cooked. Like, you can't even think about just getting it lobbed off at the elbow and getting a hook. Yeah, that'd be pretty good. Fuck, it's so fast. It's just different attachment.

9:16Just get one of my Mrs. Mixer. Just kick things. You make cliques. Just making the catch an eight, little Beneer. It'd be like a Beneer thermomax. Yeah, it'd be fucking a bit of a burden. Actually, though, we joke about it. But that is the future. Yeah, fuck you. Egg Robotics Chat yesterday on the show. And it was... There was the stat that Elon Musk was looking at. Within 10 years, there would be 100 million humanoid robots doing the majority of human jobs. There's a... And they'll get that fucking cheap because the robots we've making themselves. Yeah, regardless of how you think about it, you can't just fucking bury your head in the sand. It's like the person who walked around on stilts lighting the fucking street lanterns going, well, you'll never replace me. Yeah. Well, fucking good luck, Oos. Catch up, mate. Yeah. There's a huge number of people that used to make wagon wheels back in the day as well. And fucking blacksmiths. And now they're just especially trained. Pay people to go around and throw rocks here. Wouldn't it wake you up in the morning and the Victorian times before alarm clocks? Did that?

10:16We willy-winky. Yeah. And they would sit there. They had no alarm clocks, so they'd drink a certain amount of water that would make them get up and piss at a certain time. Or the candle with the... Put a nail in it. And once it burns down to a certain amount, the nail falls out and goes, Dink and hopefully wakes you up. Oh, funny. Fuck I need more than that. Especially after drinking warm ale all night and a... And a boarddallow. A boarddallow. Wait, so you're pretty much... What's the black lung? You're pretty much feeling like I was. You're just saying that. You're all aching and shit. Yeah, woke up in the middle of the night just with a pool of sweat in between my tits, which is probably more of an indicator as to how fat I've got on his opposed to how sick I am. Jesus, I bet it's some green pasture in 2026 though. Yeah, it has been very, very great. And I think it was that... The little dead cat bounce, I came off the back of hunting on... ...um... on Sunday. Which was in itself, was pretty fucking hectic, because it was the hissing southerly, the rain was horizontal, and we were in the elements all day. So you're basically just... Not many people also do a cold start, no training, 16k hike.

11:16No, it was fucking stupid, but we got the job done. But you're in hunting and we're lucky because we got the Stoney Creek gear. So you get hot real quick, and then you sit in glass for ages, and then you just chill out and chill out and chill out. So basically, we're all wearing the same Stoney Creek gear. So as soon as your body temperature starts to drop, drop, drop, drop, up and go again, find another, find another... Ah, that's true. ...find another ridge to go and glass off. And then Will, who's... I said I'd be able to go back there with us, who's my mate's husband. He's there in fucking shorts and a T-shirt. Fuck, I love that thing. Fucking hell, Will. And he just... He is like... Like, he's just got fucking all gears in low ratio. Just a steam train. Just... Just hugging along. It could walk literally, I reckon, for days on end, at a constant rate. And even when... So we'll be walking along a flat or walking along a ridge line, and then it'll go into a fucking pretty much vertical climb. So we're zigzagging up these... Up these hill faces to see you're not absolutely blowing your legs to that.

12:19And he didn't even... He didn't even blow during the chat... He'd chat the whole way like... Yeah, so he'll be like, well, we've looked at Dern and given a similar IPRC, and that's probably what we want to get your hands on and still in the long... And I was like, I'm not fucking talking back to you. I can't talk. Fuck you. Does that fucking... Chainspeed or gears? No. It just goes the same all the way up to what the gradient... Yeah. Amazing. Yeah, and then on the carry out, he said, do I have to chuck it on my back? I said, no, I need to earn this. So, you know, I got to go and say, good on. You know, I just hit to us, though, you know, because often they carry... This is the first client I've seen carry fucking animals out. Really? Yeah, normally they just go chuck it on your back, part it out, fucking thanks mate. Well, I tweaked my back during the wash in the morning, and put it back in before the show started. When I coughed, I heard a click. So now I'm hoping that it actually feels like it's freed up a bit. So, this is what 40 feels like? This is what fucking winning looks like, mate. Yeah. This is six feet. So now, after this, I'm going to get on the blower, because you can do the dock appointment over the phone now. I'm going to try and get on the blower to the dock and give it to... You get 17 Viagras and some fucking...

13:21Some sort of fucking weight loss way go goes and fucking some pep tides, anti-inflammatories, anti-biotics, and I need to get right before next Thursday when we get on a plane and fucking under all the work that the drugs have done. You just thought like a pick and mix bin that's just all random ones. You just take a big old scoop, wait up. You know, like at the frozen yoga places, just give me a sprinkle dock. What about like in the future, you talk about AI and stuff? Why don't you say, you know, we're not feeling great at the moment. Two steps ahead of you, don't you tell me how that goes? So this is a conversation on Sam with Brookhoud Smith and he said, you take blood tests. And then you'll... That will basically go to a white label pharmacy, which will then create the drug which is needed specifically for you. Oh, yes. Like, imagine going like from me right now and be like, you've got something some flames, it gives you a mental violence and anti-inflammatories and whatever... Figure goes in. And then I get a personalized one pill with everything I need. Yeah. Well, at the moment, because I'm taking all that the next-aged stuff, I literally feel like it's like rescue swimming me in,

14:23and if I don't take it, it'll just let me go. And just a fucking sink in the bottom. I'm on Vyrelex. I'm on the Glucasian joint fucking thing. I've got all the Berberin, the NMN, the NAD plus, like, I've got Lockstock, the fucking lot. And I feel like shit until I take it. And it's about now that I'm just full rev, and then it'll just go, and sleep. I'm so excited for Beth at this. Beth is. Yeah. Beth is. I finally sat down last night, and I was doing the receipts and stuff from the UK trip, and got through that. Do you guys manage to find who you need? Yes. They took them. Yeah. Right. They're impressed. They love the methodical labeling. Well, they wouldn't come from you, so keep me on. Yeah. You can continue to be merch guy, who's got full range of merch out now, not for radio. It's about, it's about to tear off. Yeah, it's pretty exciting. And on top of that, we've managed to work into our deal for the merch people that will get a case of cigars in recorder. So here's, and Beth is going, what the fuck? But here's the rationale behind it, A,

15:24did media works read their part of the contract? Of the case of cigar, we get a cigar every box of cigars every recorder, they didn't even read the contract. No, exactly. B, why not chuck it in there? And that's the end of my argument. C, B, we wouldn't. So this goes back to, so if you want, this is my mentality in everything. So I knew that the company, which is the mother company that owns us and is the part owner of the podcast, they've got a deal. So that's part, this is basically why we're with these guys, because they are not only really great at what they do, but because the company has an existing arrangement with them. So my only prerequisite for signing this deal was that it had to be better than the deal that the company's got. And so the deal is made better by a case of cigars being handed over to us every recorder. And every recorder, we'll sit here and we can just smoke them. And the fucking building that they are. The Goshenig, like a 1930s publishing gangster. Listen here, I see.

16:24It's on the cigars, we got to have a deal. We got ourselves a Welsh guy, yeah? Yeah, you just think you can do an idea better than I could. Yeah, we can. Let's find our mark. So what's the... So this is where I've got this from. So my mate, Dominic Rider, who is, he's a weapon designer and also fucking a weapon businessman as well. And when we were teenagers, we went into... It must have been like sterling sports or something. And he goes, I've just finished reading this book where you never pay full price for something. Or if you are paying full price, you'll get something else thrown in. So we're going in to get tennis records. And then he's like, I'm after these tennis records as a guy's like, okay, sweet as. And he goes, obviously, I want a tennis record bag, like a tennis bag. And I want three fucking tubes of ball thrown in as well. And he goes, that's not what you're fucking buying. He's like, I know, but if you want to get the fucking deal done, that's what it's going to take to get the deal done. You either can do the deal and move this tennis record out of here with a low cost tennis bag and some fucking balls that you're costing nothing.

17:24Or you don't get the sale done. Because I can just go to any other store in here. And he's like, fuck, let me check him out, I'm managing it. Do two nothing. He goes, nah, it's not going to happen. He goes, well, we're getting two of them. So like, if the deal gets done, he'll get the same deal. And he's like, so you want two tennis bags, six tubes of balls for fucking buying two tennis records. And he goes, yeah, and he goes, fuck all right then. And everything, like if he's something like, he'll go to a restaurant. And he'll go, how about you, how about you, I'll get the steak. And how about you throw on a side of this. And then I like, yep, you want to add that? And he goes, no, no, no, no, I want you to throw in a side of that. And they're like, but it's a side. And he goes, yeah, I want you to throw it in. And then I'm like, what are you making, he goes, I don't know. I'm like, oh, I'm going to be so painful to be out with. I would hate that so much. But then he does it in such a charming way. They're like, fuck, sweet as he goes. Oh, by two cocktails, you chuck down it. And they're like, okay, what's the problem? And he was already buying two cocktails. That's exactly what he's buying ten, you know?

18:26He was going to buy them anyway. Oh, my God. So that's where that fucking petiness in my mind comes from. The deal. True, no, yeah. A classic bill was classic, yeah. I'd love one. All right. Here we go. This is the classic booters, classic yarn. What, yeah, this is from anonymous U Beauty under the category of bank robbery and property damage. Oh, shit. Yes. Is this sounding like a classic yarn? I do know. I probably should keep this one anonymous as I don't think the statue of limitations has passed. I don't even think it exists in New Zealand, does it? Here's some stories about the mother-in-law. She's an interesting character. She's been working for a company for a while and knows too much to get in trouble. She likes to play practical jokes. So this one is two separate stories. The first one involves back in the day when she used to work for a bank as a till maiden. She showed up to work early when April falls inside the player joke on her colleagues.

19:26She opened up early years relocated all the money from the tills and the hitter and the bank vault and swapped it all out for these glorious little chocolate coins we used to love as kids. She then she proceeds to lock up, turn the lights off and head across the road to buy coffee. Then she parks up outside to sit and watch the chaos and show. Along comes her manager, a somewhat anxious woman, one nature to open up. And the mother-in-law is just sitting there waiting for something to happen. About 10 minutes go by and in the distance she hears some sirens. And some flashing red and blue lights come flying around the corner. And she goes, fuck, I think this has gone downhill quite quickly. Outruns a manager freaking out and yelling at her for the cops were being robbed. Money's all gone. Bearing in mind the mother-in-law had put everything in a safe along with a shit ton of chocolates as well. But the emotionally fragile managers on such a state of fear and panic that the robbers might still be in the building. She was too afraid to actually go behind the counter and have a look and realize that it's all good.

20:26So anyway, chaos is breaking out in the street and the unprepared police officer is on high alerts. There's nothing big happens in a tiny butt-fuckin' nowhere town. The manager is white as a sheet and my mother-in-law comes out running out of cafe laughing and half yelling, that's a joke. That's a joke. It's all there. I swapped it out for chocolate. Containing to see why who this mad woman could be, the police officer immediately recognized her, heading counter this crazy lady at other such ridiculous events in the past and instantly knew who it was. This is some kind of fuckery the police officer thought to himself. Ah, this is some sarcastic apologies and a good laugh for my mother-in-law. All she got was nothing but a slap on the wrist, meanwhile her managers shaken by the presumed intruders, required several weeks of leaked recuperate. The other story is from the time she worked at a reputable dairy company and on one St. Patrick's Day, she had the great idea to make the factory fester for the day and her bright idea was to put some green food colour in the middle of the fuck.

21:33She goes to one of the big pipes, opens a valve and pours in some green food colouring. Back to work she went when all the workers showed up and started their shift and lambbell started to ring. Everyone started to panic as green milk started to flow. The problem was no one knew the cause and it was a biocontaminant or made to be an entirely off batch. So the only way to solve the issue was to purge the system which involves dumping out all the milk. About 30,000 litres from a tank and as this colossal bio as it was being handled, she comes in and says, that's a joke! She's just trying to add you some St. Patty's Day cheer everyone. And that's just the fucking half of it, let's wish me luck with my extended family. Well, she's a hamful and I love it. The fucking those two industries that you just really probably, I mean that in Border Patrol. Oh, anything at the airport? Yes. How is it that the police officers or Border Patrol are fucking way scary than actual police officers in your own country?

22:39But there are another level there. But you're in no man's land, that's why. How's it just that fucking new story today? The plane in the Israel plane? No. So they think it was like some sort of 9-11 style thing. So the co-pilot stabs the pilot, the thing drops 5,000 metres out of the air, then they wrestle the knife, through them subjum, and then the guy bleed it out, I'm guessing he managed to land the plane and then save everyone. But they thought he was going to kill the pilot and then fly the thing into a high rise. Wow. I mean, mum, he jumped into conclusions there but that's what said the new story. Fucking wild eh? That's mad. But yeah, that's how he get through the knife. That's the fuck thing about it. So the final one? The father-in-law was saying that he was getting nickel and dime, because he had quite a few run-ins with a TSA while he was flying. He got locked up and basically got encouraged to sue whatever it was in the States.

23:41But he said the lawyer's advice was, if you kick that B-hive, they're going like 240 mil for basically this fucking hit the way they had fun. And so he goes, they've said all for something dramatically less than that, say half a quarter. But he goes, no one that you know will ever be able to fly through the States again, because they will fucking destroy you. All of your, all of your passports will be put on a fucking watch list and they will fucking ruin your life when you come through. Worth it. What a taking the money. Yeah, but if you were to go and get diverted, like see you going to the UK and they'll divert you to the States, which has happened a bunch of times to people that haven't paid their taxes or whatever, and they get fucking banged up over there. They're going to be done by the private jet, don't think so, mate. I got detained on the way into the last rock island in Fiji. Why is that not surprisingly? You don't even need to finish that sentence for legal reasons. No, no, no, no, no. So we go through it and we take a bunch of themed sunglasses in, right? Massive big box. And obviously like I'm, I'm, I'm assuming working there.

24:42I'm not, you know, we have an arrangement. Anyway, so the bro goes, the bro goes, take this big box through the, you didn't pack. Take it through Fiji and customs. And I'm like, what's in it? And he's like, oh, it's full of sunglasses. I'm like, sweet, there's no problem. So we go to go through and then the guy like, I get pulled into the secret little screening room. And they're like, what's all this? I'm like, please let it be sunglasses. Like, did you pack it yourself? I'm like, nah, my mate just wanted to ask me to bring this box through. Now, like, right. And so they opened it up. And what it was is they wanted me to pay tax because I thought I was going into Fiji to sell all these sunglasses. Yes, yes. But it surprises their gifts right around. The funny part was I've got all my fishing and diving gear. And my dive knife is like this monstrous, like huge big blade. What's they also find in my, in my bag? They go, oh, we need to have a look at this. Why have you got this giant knife? And I'm like, oh, it's for fishing. They didn't give a fuck about the huge knife. They did a playing with it. One of the guys comes through, finds out I'm a DJ. So while there's this real serious dude, this old fella trying to grill me about paying taxes. There's like the friendliest Fiji in bloke in the world interviewing other people. But every time he comes back in, he's going,

25:43Hey, DJ, penny boy. I'm like, hey, he's for blue. He wouldn't want my knife. Like, this is two sides of one coin here, but we got him in. Yeah, the, he got absolutely hung out to dry at some stage. I can't remember who he's flying through. It might have been through the UK. And he had like a set of scissors that were like, they must have been like nail scissors or something. But they were long, long handled by small blades on the end of it. And it's like, there's a rule that's like a six inch fucking blade or length of scissors, whatever it was. And this is like six and a half. And they're like, we need to take those off. You know, okay. And they're like, well, you think you think you're fucking above the lawn out because you're a captain. He is like, no, no, no, I'm just, I just think that if I was to take those onto the plane, I wouldn't be using them to attack anybody. I'd use the fucking massive axe with a spike on it, which sits right behind me in my seat for fucking an emergency's break and cut you well. Way out of shit to start hacking people up as opposed to fucking stabbing them to death with a fucking needle.

26:43Let me guess that was the wrong thing to say. Absolutely the wrong thing to say. It's not me and the Dubai you bought saying those smuggling stuff and some of the cork, cork birken stuff. Apparently people do do that. And they're like, shut the fuck up Duncan. Okay. Some of them handle long haul. I'm saying it's on the Fiji thing. And now Fiji is in a fucking pretty, in a real tough spot at the moment. Oh, it's such a tough one. Yes. Horrible. The blue two thing thing, if you haven't heard about it, basically they've got this methamphetamine epidemic, which is ripping through. But some fucking genius told the locals that if you let someone blitz enough crack, then you can draw blood out of them and inject it into yourself. People aren't even, I can't even imagine that they're getting high, but they are, before they are getting this fucking HIV, which is horrible. But this I saw in the news, they just had a mess because it's a midpoint between South America and Australia, which is where basically the majority of the drugs in the South Pacific go. They had these big stop-offs over the air. So it's almost like a waypoint. So they do the switchover or whatever.

27:48Anyway, they're forever busing these massive cocaine busts and they were just in court. And they had like three bricks of cocaine that have been switched out for flour. And the cops are fucking, the cops are like, oh, fuck, I don't know, fuck, I don't know. For like God's sweet 40 kilos of cocaine, do you think they will in up stain in the country or nah, it will get moved on as well. It'll be 100% moved on to probably the southern part where the tourists go. Fuck, it's a lot of cocaine. Swilling in packets. Crazy. Have a good time there, Benny Boy. Easy, okay. Do you want to hear the dick story? Fuck, I, so hunting on for those that aren't snobbly went hunting Sunday after a white fellow buck, which has alluded me. And it was the fucking war of attrition. It was what it was just the best. It was an amazing day anyway.

28:52Ending up getting this thing on the deck. Took a young back. For rundown on the mandate, so. This young buck that came out with me, he'd basically never been hunting. He was trying to get into hunting very hard to get into that pursuit because it's involves firearms, access to land and animals. So most people don't just fucking click their fingers and have that happen. And so we've got this amazing setup with our buddy, Catch from Adventure Hunting, who's. He guides top-end people and guides all over the world, but he also has blocks that you can hunt here in New Zealand. So if you're a spiderman to learn, you can learn via him, which is fucking awesome. I wrote like, it's unreal anyway. So we get this buck on the deck and we're starting to gut it out so we can do the carry. And so the first thing that comes off is you grab them by the cock and you drop the cock off. Do you actually need to do that? Yeah, that's the way you basically cut the cock off and then you gut them up. Okay, so that's where the gutting starts from the cock. Yeah, it's the same like it's like you get a peg like a marriage. Yeah. You can start from the anus though as well, couldn't you? When are you cut back to the arsehole, cut the poo chew out and then it doesn't fall into the car.

29:53Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Up through the guts and then pull the poo chew out of the jaw. You can't run the sh- you can't run the sh- you can't run the sh- you can't run the sh- you can't run the sh- you can't run it. So you can cut around it and then you pop it outside the body so the sh- goes back into it. So then you just got to like an exhaust valve full of shit. Yeah, pull all the fucking things out anyway. So we rip the cock off of the second jacket to- jacket to Monty. Oh, that's a receipt. You know, it's not- Can it be the title of the episode? Anyway, so we rip the cock off this thing. I know it's a wordy one like, elderly woman behind the counter a small town, but click a boy or a kid. It's just one of those human nature things. Hold onto this for me and you just grab it for the fuck. Like you just can't not. Yeah. And so he's now holding a- and he's like, what the fuck am I meant to do with this? And they're like, hold on to it because we- we've fluck these onto people. And he's like, who the fuck wants- and what's spoken about it? I even knew what they did. I thought they freeze- drive them. So dear Pizzle is what they call. So yeah, I thought they'd freeze- drive them and then pow to them and you'd take dick pills. Yeah, I thought you'd just- that's what it was for the virility.

30:53But turns out word from the wise, they basically chop it into small lengths like little inch long noodles and they fuckin' put it in soups and eat it. And like- Oh, it's like dick drive. Yeah, and they- and they- and they- the person we're talking to was like, what is it like? And he's like, what is it like? Oh, it's just like tendon. And I was like, well, that's the assumption that I eat tendons. I've never fuckin' eaten tendons. He's like too gristly and you know gelatinous and sort of slimy. I was like, so they eat the middle of the dick too, not just the dick skin. Fuckin' tip to fuckin' base. Just lock stock the lot. No skin. That's not a funny skin. And then yeah, obviously you must do something because you know- And then it does fuck all. How do you know? You've never eaten that. You might have a lot of even- like an absolute weapon in the sack after eating one. And that's might be the why they keep coming back. You go like this. So you perpetuating the thing. The pet choosing sale of tiger dicks across the globe right now. There are so many people that choose to eat the dick over the loin straps.

31:53You know, the loin straps are one of those are called the backloin, the loin straps. Back straps is uncomfortable. But like there will be- So many people across the planet will be like, I'd rather eat the dick things. So it must do something. Either that or he runs just been sucked into the big dick a lot. I reckon they're sucked into the big dick light. So you're anti-eating dick. So what are you telling me? I'm one hundred hundred percent anti-eating dick. I'm not anti-hear eating dick. Oh, yes. Dic a sell it. But anyway, so this- I kind of got this conversation- this conversation was rolling. And one of the- One of the animals that popped up in this- and this fucking horrible conversation was the pangolin, which is this amazing little- It's a good dock on there. Yeah, it's fucking sad, eh? Poor little bastards. Anyway, so that also hunted for the- the scales, which are literally literally identical to you. So that's the thing. Which are literally, literally identical to your fingernails and toenails. That looks so good. Just pure keratin. They look awesome, but they- they frighten really easy and they roll up into a little ball.

32:54You can just grab them and put them in a bag. And they're basically just walking and kicking them into a sack. They fucking ship thousands of these poor little bastards a year. And next, then spilled onto Monti, the guy holding the young back holding the dick. He goes, have you heard of the virgin boy eggs? And I was like, this is fucking Tom. Tom has, Tom said about these fucking- He's looking his lips at the same time. We weren't looking for these in China. Fuck! Oh my god. Tom! You're fucking kidding me. Did you use sick fuck? You just find any baby ever when they were on the list. Okay, so virgin boy eggs are, they collect the urine of boys under the age of 10 and then they boil eggs on it and you have pest-boiled eggs. Niki Glazer, this stunning tour. The thoughts of death I don't like to dwell on them for longer than like 10 or 15 hours a day, so... November 19th, Yamabah Theater. No wonder women rushed to have kids were being trained for it since we were kids.

33:57They're like, here's a baby doll. Here's an easy-bake oven. I got one of those. I stuck my head in it. I was like, I want out of this narrowness. Tickets on sale now at Yamabah Theater.com. Don't miss Niki Glazer, Yamabah Theater. Fuck! Fuck that, eh? So what does that do for you? What? Fuck no. He's probably the same as eating a tiger's duck in a pangolin scale. Fuck all! But they're working here and now... Oh, fuck off. They're being super soft boiled here because these urea and urine, so they're making like ultra soft. But imagine just like... I'm trying to boil anything at first. I'm trying to boil anything at first. He's fucking asking for some weird shit and there's time no doubt. But like even going into a restaurant, I'll have the virgin boy egg things. Just call it water. Let's try and make it sound. It's a fucking oil peci. I have boiled peci, because I'm a fucking psycho. What are they doing? From a trothmon stain.

34:58Well, I was looking here. They banned deer decks in the Olympics because they believed that it could actually enhance your performance. Chinese athletes during the two years of the Olympics. Tissosa investor. Summer Olympics were banned from deer deck wine. So, maybe... That'd be the way to hammer. Magical penis wine. It's a big... The way he's a gasoline leader of deck wine, then fuck him. A hundred decks. You want to concentrate a deck wine. I see we can order some, eh? You guys want to try some? You got to go. Magical penis wine. There's a nice catch of it. He makes deck wine. He took a... Basically, it's just... Randomly, he's got a vineyard next to his house. This is a fucking... He's a curveball. This is the real money maker. This is a business. Okay, and the hills. That's a fucking front. He's got a fucking cellar full of deck wine. You love a wine cellar. Get in there, boy, work your magic. Come back with a fucking bottle of deck wine in the case of Garza JK. Thank you. He's got a little bit of a different one here.

35:58Different one here. We'll do the deal, but I want a lot of deck wine out on it. Deck wine, piss eggs, insigas. You know what I want to take out that deal. So ridiculous. Oh my gosh. This is... We apologize now. This is just... This is a fuckery. Well, you could apologize. I'm fucking not. This is what it's all about. It's a weapon. Couple from the sniper's line. So sniper's line, you can click on the link tree in the episode description and send it to Jan. Just record it. If you're at Jan's too long, send it through in two bits, or whatever it is, it's either if you stuff up half way through it, or either that two is the way. And gonna play two. Best one's gonna get a hat. One of them, not for radio hats, which are true for sale now. Lincoln's show notes as well. Who are we gonna go? Go Rick Callan. Okay, I got two stories for you. Yes. This is Rick Carlin. But you can call me Thor, because I like that fucking name.

37:00Yeah. Oh. Great. About 20 years old. Me and two of my friends, Joe and my other friend, Joe. We used to have parties at their house all the time. We used to play a game called Corders. I don't know if you know that. You drop a quarter off your nose or bounce a quarter into jar. And then if you don't make it, you drink. And both the Joe's drink or drink... Two tobacco. And they used to spit it in beer cans and said it next to him. And so I did my shot and I missed and I grabbed one of them beer cans. Took a big swing and I was like, let's full us spit. Oh, fuck. Tobacco spit. Now I'm looking around. What do I do with this? I spit it out. I look at the carpet. It is white carpet on the floor. And they're all looking at me and I had to swallow it. Oh. I have to back out chunks around my lips. Oh. And Joe, who his can, looked at me with big eyes and ran the hell out the room and ran outside. And I was gagging and puking and it was horrible.

38:03The other one was with these two guys I was preparing Thanksgiving dinner. And we all three of us we did this together. And I was in the kitchen. I was eating all of them. And I took the all of them and stuck in my mouth. I sneezed and the whole black hole flew out the end of my nose. And that was a surprise. Anyway, that's it. Get me to wreck it. I'll be wrecking, JoJo. Did we? I'm sure was it you or did I make it up that you were just chewing that used Enemame shells going these are fucking not what the fucking hype meant to me. Oh, you know, you've definitely made that up. I can't remember if that was true or not. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's international dunk just out from it a cuisine of the Japanese variety. Everyone's smashing into the Enemame beans and dunks just chewing the empty shells in the mouth. What do you fucking mean to get out of these things? It's fuck all of them. It's the old bean casings. Yeah, I don't know if that was me or not. I remember I think you pinned it on me on here, but it might have been somebody else. It's stuck to me. Yeah, I lie so much.

39:03I believe myself. This is a real issue. It's JST. I think very much. That's great. That is grim. Spatoons of fucking grim. So you go quick one from Brendan. Yeah, I'm glad. Brandon from Strawley here. It's Logan P. Sheep up the bed. Sure. I just want to tell you boys, you're fucking legends and keep up the good work. And up the motherfucking was. That's very, very, very kind of you make. Appreciate it. I think we've got to give it to Rick and Morty. Rick and the two joys. We go one more. We go one more. This is a bacon. Yeah, hey fellas. I like the side deer of the land lease up towards Munger Fireways. Thank you. I can't quite pinpoint it on the map. I've done a fair bit of work. But the golf course is full of the billionaires and Jays mates. Shit. But yeah, I got a fuck all to contribute other than my eight bucks a month. But when the time comes, if you need a bit of a whip around and you need some services,

40:06heavy construction services or something like that, you know, transport logistics. Nice. And give a whip around the locals in a bit of exchange for services for services. You know what I'm saying? You scratch my back. I'll scratch yours. You rub me. I rub you. You guys sort of out. A lot of scrubbing. I mean, the rubbing. You can do the scratching. Yeah. Yeah. Once again, if you're not part of the sniper elite, basically myself and Duncan now proud. At least holders of 230 acres of coastal property. Yeah, I watch out. I thought it was a fucking five year lease. It's 20 years lease. I'm in the hole for three hundred grams. I've been made a fucking use of it. And I'm not going to last a full 20 so it's going to be on you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's a longer story which you get to find in the episode on Monday Tuesday. I think it's Tuesday. Does your life and investment prospectus? She gets to sleep early. She gets to sleep early. She sees our tale of mine need to be told to us that our mates at Classic Builders. Exactly. Well, that's fucking funny. You should be interested in that. They are getting a shoulder technique, so I'm going to be out and tidy on it.

41:08Yeah. They can build anything. We're on the two. They will be building as a 40 person lodge with accommodations for all. Um, thanks. That'll do for the episode today. It was between all the rooms. That'll do for the day. We'll be in the key bowl. All right guys, you're doing it again. Thank you very much, Classic Builders. Design and build. Fuck you guys are terrible with this. If you're keen on a brand new home, they can sort it out. Or a lodge up and monger fight. Or a lodge up and monger fight. They can sort it out. No. Do whatever you want. They can sort it out. Or a lodge up and monger fight. Or a lodge up and monger fight. They can sort it out. No. Do whatever you want. The doors. He still going. But he gets stuff. Thanks, Classic Builders. Thanks, Classic Builders. Thanks, Benny. Fucking hell. Shambles. At least some of us are proficient in the movie. Boys. Do you smell that? Smells like a fucking ring to me. This is not for radio. Up the walls. Nicky. I'm going to be in the middle of the room. I'm going to be in the middle of the room. I'm going to be in the middle of the room. I'm going to be in the middle of the room. This is not for radio. Up the walls. Nicky Glazer. This stunning tour. The thoughts of death I don't like to dwell on them for longer than like 10 or 15 hours a day.

42:08So. November 19. Yamabah Theatre. No wonder women rushed to have kids were being trained for it since we were kids. They're like, here's a baby doll. Here's an easy bake oven. I got one of those. I stuck my head in it. I was like, I want out of this narrative. Tickets on sale now at Yamabah Theatre dot com. Don't miss Nicky Glazer. Yamabah Theatre.