4: Bread for the Head with Mark Sephton - Episode 4

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1:01Our nation has always counted on us to win, to fight for what better could be, to secure our future together. We are Marines. We were made for this. Welcome to Bread for the Head on the UK Health Radio Network. I'm your host, Mark Säfton. If you work in the health industry, you spend your entire life taking care of everyone else. But what are you feeding your own mind every week on the show? We are breaking bread on the thoughts, the ideas and the habits that shape our inner world. It is time to stop running on empty and start intentionally nourishing your mind so you can stay healthy, resilient and inspired. Both inside and out. Pull up a chair and let's go and eat. Welcome back to Bread for the Head right here on the UK Health Network. The place where we break down what it really takes to nourish your mind, regulate your

2:03system and have a life aligned with true vitality. I'm joined today by the brilliant Gem Dentiff, founder of Gem Dentiff Global, creator of the Undressed Method, executive coach, transformational strategist and former emergency services worker. Gem spends her life helping high performers strip away the survival layers, step out of burnout and transform their internal state from the inside out. Today we are going to take a deep dive into mental nutrition, toxic self talk and why the mental diet you consume daily shapes everything about your reality. Gem is fantastic to have you on Bread for the Head. Good to see you. Thank you very much and nice to be here. That was quite a manful, wasn't it? It's almost like you need CPR just saying that. Well, hopefully not. Gem, hopefully I'll never need CPR. Thank you Mark. Yeah, you're welcome. You know, I'm really delighted to have you here.

3:05Obviously we've spent a lot of years getting to know you, have worked together many times before and I think that a show like this really is perfectly aligned for somebody like yourself. I think it takes you back to my beginnings. So when I first sat out my first career, even before the ambulance service was actually in the fitness industry. So I think health for me has been a thread throughout the last, I'd say 25 years, even in the business world. I'll still obviously look at the health of the business and the health of the leaders as and when we're transforming and changing companies and transforming companies. So I think it's within your day and once you're on that path. Yeah, thank you for the intro. You're welcome. Now, Gem, let's kick things off. When you hear the phrase, bread for the head, what do you personally believe? That means in terms of how we feed our minds every day. So I think bread for the head for me, when we first kind of talked about the podcast, I had many, many like scores of thoughts that popped into my mind.

4:07Everything from end terms of positive psychology and positive thinking to my days when I trade as a naturopathic vegan chef, in terms of what we're feeding the body. And then we talked about not only what we're feeding the body in terms of nutrition, so food, it's about what we're feeding the body in terms of content, so the content we're consuming. So everything from the media we're watching, when we're scrolling on TikTok or YouTube or whatever social media we're used today, it's looking at everything and all the nutrition. In the, I used to train, I used to train, well, train coaches coming through the neuroleaders of your institution pathway. And we've got this one model which we call the healthy mind platter. So it's again, it's looking at all of the aspects that the person needs on a daily basis to have a healthy mind. So that was, that was interesting. But yeah, bread for the head, food for thought, all of those things kind of, you know, what you're putting in the body as obviously input output. So yeah, that was kind of what initially went to mind.

5:08That makes sense. Absolutely. Yeah. No, that does make sense. I think, you know, I think if we think about how, how do we get into our mind in the first place? How, how does a thought get impregnated? How do we ruminate on an idea? And I think, you know, one of the things that you mentioned here was about what we're looking at, which is obviously one of the senses. Do you think that it's really what we look at that has the biggest impact on our mind? Or do you think maybe it's what we listen to, maybe what we experience? What we taste? What do you feel has the biggest impact on our mind? Oh my god. Such a great topic. Great question. It's like we have all of this sensory data, obviously, that we're inputting, that inputting into the body, but how we actually interpret that data is up to ourselves as based on our experiences, conceptions, our preconceptions, and the way we, our belief system, our conditioning. So it's not only what we're consuming and the data coming in. It's how we're then making meaning of that data.

6:11Now we're processing that data and the stories that we have in our mind about the data. So the data is neutral, you know, when it comes in, but you might have a preference to one thing versus I have a preference for another. So I have a story around something, which are there for making meaning out of it, and you'll have a story about something and they make a different meaning out of it. And that's often how, you know, conflict happens because I'll have one story in my mind. But the data is, the data is neutral. The data just comes in and then we obviously interpret that data the way we do, you know, objectively. And that's kind of what then creates thoughts that are good or thoughts that bad. And ultimately that's what creates our experience of the object, the objective world. I think about like the fact that we don't have a fact head. And what I mean by that is if we're pouring in like, and we're watching and consuming and experiencing and listening to things that are low, calorific value in terms of our mind, maybe it's fear, maybe it's doubt, maybe it's comparison, you know, all these

7:11things that I feel like, you know, if our mind is a glass and we get to choose what we pour into it, and then obviously what we then see out of our own mind's eye, it's obviously clouded and affected by that which we've poured in. And I think that's something that we all need to wake up. Absolutely. I think when you go on, when a person goes on that journey of understanding themselves a bit more, it usually just start with the mind and it starts with how I think and what I'm thinking about. So often when you run that kind of inner transformational journey, you do start with thoughts, what are my thoughts, what are my beliefs, what are my values, what are what is my thinking, how am I interpreting, interpreting, interpreting this thing or that thing. So I think, you know, initially, yeah, it is what we're inputting in, but a lot of the time it's the mind is the nature of the mind is that it needs to do something. So the nature of the mind is that it's always processing. So that's why people introduced, well, some teachers introduced mindfulness so that

8:11you're slowing down the brain waves. It's so complex. So it's not just, I mean, yeah, it's simple at the same time as being complex because if you understand the nature of the mind first, then you can understand what your mind needs in that moment. So for example, if you're overthinking on a topic, you just, you just realize that often my mind is spinning out on this thing. It might be useful to do some mindfulness and do some stately, you know, trying to steal the mind. You can never stop the thought. And there are different types of meditations where you can have a templative meditation or you can meditate on a candle or an object or a thought and there's different styles of meditation. But essentially, if you've noticed that your system is being hijacked and therefore needs to slow it down, you need to kind of put your body back into recendigest, you know, the nervous system state of recendigest. Then obviously, then you'll know that you might need to go and, I don't know, journal or walk or whatever it is that cleans out your system.

9:13The mind is essentially a self-cleaning mechanism. So often when you wake up on the mon reverse thing, for you entertain your old or your existing identity, the mind is still for a moment. So you remember who you are and you mind speaking to begin and then you just reprogram yourself as you were yesterday. Yeah, there's lots of things you can do to steal the mind, but essentially, you mentioned we're having a fat head. We have, I can't remember what the percentage is now or how many thousands of thoughts we have every day. 30,000. So many different, how many? Well, we make 30,000 choices. Yeah. Everyone grows slightly different figures. So it's like 80,000 thoughts or 80 million, I can't remember the figure is, but anyway, we have a lot of thoughts, but the science basically tells us that a lot of those thoughts are the same thoughts that we had yesterday. So if you don't clear out the mind or at least understand the nature of the mind, then you're just going to be adding more fuel to the fire so much so to speak and therefore,

10:15at some point, hopefully, you gain the insight that actually you've got a lot going on and you need to slow down the mind. So that goes into so many different areas such as what you are feeding yourself, the state of your nervous system, if you're always in, if you're locked into final flight, if you are caffeinated all day, that's going to speed up the system. If you're not breathing properly, it's going to speed up the system. There's so many factors that, once you work with a client, you can then assess their system, their body, their breath. And it's interesting if you go to the doctor's surgery, not many people would start with, how are you breathing? Because obviously, it's going to activate the system if you're in yoga, if you want to activate the system, because you want to go get energized, you breathe a certain way to create more energy in the body. So if you're naturally breathing that way, habitually, even realise that that's your natural person of breathing, you might find you have a lot of anxiety, but your breathing really high and your breathing really fast. So your practice might be just to be more conscious around your breath and then that will,

11:16naturally, just slow down the system. I do think you make a good point, because if you think of the body, for example, I love to run in the morning. And actually, my body feels different if I run in the afternoon and if I run in the evening. So for me, I obviously, I know what works for me. And for somebody else, they prefer to run in the evening. And I think that it's really important that when we're listening and we get lots of information from different experts, etc., that we really find what works for us and it's the same with the mind. Some of us need to read, some of us need to listen, some of us need to experience, some of us need to abstain. And I think it's really important that we realise what is best for us. And I think that we all have to take almost the challenge of really going on a journey with ourselves and fine-tuning every little air of our life because it will result in moving the needle forward. If I know that running in the morning is best for me, and if I know to not watch the news

12:21because all it talks about is fear and negativity, and I know that that will play out and affect my mood, but also the decision that I make. Then I know that's not good for me, right? So I'm going to say something which may be some of your other clients or guests or listeners may not agree with or not. So let me kind of go into it. When I first went in this kind of down this path of healing and improving myself and performance, I think I was told by one of my mentors not to consume the media, not to consume the news because obviously it's going to be, you're going to take that on, that story on, you've got that vibration of that story, it's going to be in your system and therefore you're going to be a lower vibration, etc., etc. The idea and the journey I believe is my belief in this life. It's not to abandon yourself and abandon the world and live in a field or an amounting or amounting away from people because you can't be around people because they trigger your mind to go in a certain direction or it triggers your body to go in a certain direction.

13:24It's to be in the world but not be impacted by the world. Now I remember my first probably two or three years into this space of mindfulness and understanding how to reprogram my thoughts and positive thinking before I went a bit deeper into the spiritual side. For about three or four years I think I was still impacted by the world, not knowing that it was my thoughts that were creating the meaning and creating my experience in that moment. So now I can be in a read experience. A fire could be going off and I would still maintain my composure. I could still maintain, you know, I could still be online and think clearly and logically without being triggered and therefore go offline into my fight offline into whatever system. I don't know whether that's training from the ambulance service in the early days as well as now having the ability to quickly go into what's created my experience right now, like in an another second and therefore stay in very grounded. That training or that understanding has been really helpful, which means I don't need

14:26to run anymore. I don't need to hide, you know, when you try to avoid the world and go and run away to a monastery and not wanting to be around society because it has an effect or an impact on me. I mean, you just take away choice. You still choose to be in environments that are more pleasing but it doesn't mean I can't not go into a crazy ministry that's going through multiple transformations and going through a restructure and I'm not impacted by it. Whereas in the early days I would be, I would have been, whether that's taking on the responsibilities or whether that's taken on the emotions. I mean, it's an interesting thought, like I'm thinking that the importance of coming back to yourself at the end of the day is really going to be the thing that regardless of what we've been exposed to, it's going to be for me the key in order to allow things to not knock you off course. You know, even thought just then about even in the Bible where Jesus was surrounded by

15:26crowds and then would actually take himself away away from the crowds so that he can replenish. You're talking about, you know, being in the world, going about every day, having those experiences, being shoulder to shoulder with people and not worrying so much about that but also for me the importance of having that time for yourself to then recalibrate, reaffirm. So that was like one of my thoughts in there and then I also had the thoughts of there's a great quote that says, if you get rid of the garbage, the rats will go and I think there is something different between, you know, sitting with something that you know isn't good for you and actually getting rid of that so that actually then you no longer having to deal with rats. That's coming down to agency and choice, so that's different and that's never going to go away. You'll always have agency, you'll always have choice. People don't think they do and they probably sit more in places and spaces that they don't need to because they have got the agency. I think what I'm saying is you can still sit with those creatures as rats as you call

16:31them and not be impacted by them. You still choose potentially not to spend too much time there but that's a choice rather than I have to go because it's having an impact on me. There's slight nuance with what you're saying and also with reflection you have to be normally in your own space to reflect and go in introspect. So back to the Jesus and the Bible, you would be introspecting and having His wisdom and His insights and usually that's done with little data or kind of like input into your system which I also agree with definitely. We spend a lot of time talking about our physical nutrition, we've already mentioned it already and our body macros but what does the concept of mental nutrition actually look like in your work gem that you do with your clients? So again, I try not to go into the content of the mind and going to the principles at a macro level of the mind. So understanding the nature of mind, nature of thoughts, nature of self and I think if

17:35you go really meta, it's a really big, you tend to find that you don't play around in the content as much or you don't you know impacted by the content as much. So what I was saying to you in the beginning that the mind is always on, it needs something so feed it with something but feed it was something positive. So most people that I work with when they say for example, when they're very busy in the mind because they're ruminating over thoughts, if you give them a task or a goal to go and achieve or to think about, their mind is then is given a job. So the mind is a tool but people don't use the tool, the tool uses them if that makes sense. So just if you find that you're in that space it's because you've just been locked in to a rumination and often if you look at your life more broadly you might find that actually you're quite you're not quite aligned. You kind of out of balance with many things but you've not taken responsibility for those things whether that's a relationship or whether that's your health or whether that's your

18:36role or your job or where you're living. But as soon as that person starts taking, having agency and taking responsibility you'll find that the mind will actually settle down. Yeah. You're right, the mind is definitely a tool and something that we all need to master I think and utilize more readily because it is such a powerful tool that can serve us rather than it controlling us, like teaching it, educating it, taking ownership for I think it's really important. Save with digital deals at Vons and Albertsons. This week at Vons and Albertsons, Ginny O, 93% lean ground turkey is 399 per pound, sold in a 3 pound tray with digital coupon limit to packages. And a 1 pound package of strawberries is 199 with digital coupon plus Kellogg's giant

19:37size serial 22.6 to 29.5 ounces selected varieties are 299 each with digital coupon limit 3. Hurry in, visit vons or Albertsons.com for more deals and ways to save. Jumpstart your holiday savings with 10% cash back during Rakuten's big stack event. 10% cash back on top of early holiday deals at Macy's, Durmstore, Landsend and more. It's October 5th to 7th only, so join now at Rakuten.com or download the Rakuten app. That's RAKU-TEN. Talk a lot about the hidden cost of survival mode and burnouts. How does mind obesity or mental overload present itself in someone's day-to-day life for

20:38you? It's very different signs and symptoms. So I find when some people have a very busy mind, you'll find that their temper is there or they're very impatient or they're just not present. So they find that they're in their head probably 60% of the time and they're only really with you before 20% of that time or even maybe less. I mean they're 80% of the time. They're thinking about all the stuff they need to do and all the tasks and everything else, but they're not really listening. They're not really present. They're not really showing up. And then obviously then you've got the physical signs because they're so busy in their mind and they're not normally not looking after themselves. So a lot of my patients in the ambulance service would just say that 90% of those patients probably started off mentally before it went to the physical side. And there's always a connection between physical and mental anyway in a emotional. We're all one system so you can't really isolate them. But it shows up in relationships. You might maybe look at their intimate relationships, their friendships and the health of those.

21:39Show us up in their physical health. Show us up in the way they speak, where they dress. Go to their house, visit their home. Show us up in their physical environment. So I think we're always displaying our inner state of mind in every aspect of the self and every aspect of life. It's always on show. But some people don't know what they're looking for or don't intend to, you know, don't look for those things. But I think if you're trained as a coach, particularly like live coaching or live coaches, they might see it more because they're looking for a whole person to be in balance, which in itself, you know, that's not always possible to be balanced in every dimension of your life, depending on how many dimensions that you're working through. In my book, I talk about nine dimensions, but every model has slightly different, different prioritization of the slices of life. And again, it comes down to individuals as well. What's important to them during that moment of time. They could be an entrepreneur, you know, and they know that they have to sacrifice.

22:39So I think coming back to the individual, compared to the client, if you're an entrepreneur, entrepreneur might realize that actually they have to prioritize two or three segments and they realize that their relationships might be on the back burner for a period of time, but they're consciously doing that rather than offending everybody in the process. So it's a way of doing it consciously or at least preparing that part of your life consciously for a period of time. I think it's incredible how everything is kind of like interlinked, you know, because we hear about how like emotions can negatively impact like the body. And I think that most people that have like a physical ailment are definitely responding from emotional trauma and how that kind of then plays out into itself. I find that that is really interesting, gem, that you've got something there which does impact on the way that we process them and walk and move through life

23:40and how the mind, the body, our emotions are all intertwined. And the importance of really knowing self, I think regardless of the topic, I always think that your relationship with yourself is really the nucleus of how we kind of succeed in life and actually what kind of holds us back. Yeah, I agree with you. I think it's the relationship with self, but I also think it's before you get to the relationship of yourself, I think it's knowing what the self is made up with. You know, what are the basic blocks of self, who is self, what is self, how is self even experiencing, before you even have the relationship with yourself and with others. So yes, I agree. And you know what, not many people have had the opportunity to really go and explore what it means to be human, what it means to be them, what it means to have a thought, what is consciousness. These big questions that we're all at some point in our life will ponder upon. Most people are so busy just trying to pay the mortgage or get through the day and look after the kids.

24:43So it's for me, it's how can you make that pondering, that self inquiry as easy and straightforward as possible because it's so confusing at all. When I first wanted to understand more about myself, I think the first book that I read was the Monk that sold his Ferrari and a great book in my toys, but after that it was a mind field. Like where do I go? There's so many amazing speakers, there's so many amazing teachers, there's so many schools of thought, what levels do I go? Do I start at the physical, do I start the mental, do I start at the emotional? I mean, my natural journey went from a physical to the more spiritual, the more energetics, but I had to study them all and then go really deep down into the spiritual texts to kind of come up and go, okay, so what are all the things that are the same? What are the dots between all of these schools of thought, whether it's neuroscience or psychology or sociology or whatever it is, right? What are these schools of thought that's really building up my experience in the moment and therefore your experience in the moment and how can I teach this

25:44really simply that I'm not overwhelming my clients? So I think it's a it's a gift, it's not gift, it's a journey that I hope everybody at some point in their life will want to go on, but from my own again, back to my own experience, I've found that even though I have that fascination with understanding self and therefore understanding others, not everybody does have that same fascination. So I think it starts with a curiosity and if that person is curious and they want to improve some people are really happy with the life that's been given, you might be the most perfect life or the most optimum life, but they're happy with how things are and some people's mindset is not a growth mindset and I might say this is how it is and you sure you can spend your whole lifetime trying to challenge that belief, but unless they come to you and say, what do you know, how can you help me? This is my situation and I'd like to improve, I want to change. The first step is having that recognition that you can see yourself differently and you want to go through the process whether it's whatever level of the human. It's talked a little bit about the impact of

26:50that internal dialogue because we know that none of us can escape ourselves, we're with ourselves 24 seven, which is really why, really need to work on our mind using it as a tool and understanding that we all have a lens, we've all had an experience, we've all had childhood trauma, we all have a frame, you know, the good thing with this is that we get to decide on, we decide to tap into our old software or actually we get a whole new software update based on our new belief system, but how does toxic self-talk really build up over time and why does it leave us feeling so heavy and mentally sluggish? Well, I think just going back to the beginning, what you said, it's interesting that not everybody has an internal dialogue. So they're not? No, not everybody has that voice in their mind that will give them feedback, whether it's encouragement or oh my god, you were silly, how did you make that mistake or whatever

27:52it is, right? Not everybody has that voice, so not everybody has a voice, a dialogue. I mean, wouldn't that be bliss? Well, that's why they say ignorance is bliss and I don't think that in some circles some people are crushing it in life because they don't give thought to anything, and yet they sit in some case, they seem happier. I do think it's a really interesting concept, like do you go, would you rather have that sort of mindset or ignorance almost or would you like, you know, the South awareness to be like, actually, this needs attention? It depends on whether it's working for you. Some people have that coach on their shoulder and almost like a football coach. Can you imagine in the, I mean, I don't, this might work for you because you obviously I know you enjoy football, but you've got the guys in the dressing room or the changing room and the coaches in there and they're giving them the hair dryer treatment. For that, for some, that motivational tactic works. One word from me would it, wouldn't work for me. Yeah, and if you didn't have that coach, would you just be me at meandering around the pitch,

28:53not really knowing where to go? So I get it comes back to the individual. If that voice is helping you to get on in life and it's motivating you, even if it's a little bit more negative, if that works for you, then great, you know, use it. It's only when it doesn't work anymore. Most people find that the old strategies at some point are almost, you know, over preach or over teach or over coach and therefore that's when it starts to not be helpful. So at a point where it's not helpful, then I would say it's time to do some work around it. But up until that point, if you're achieving in life and you're genuinely happy and healthy and everything's working well, then use it. It's only when it's no longer effective. That's when you might want to change the coach. Let's talk about it for another one. So that's when it becomes toxic because when you think about the word toxic, when you're no longer in harmony, no longer in balance, no longer achieving, no long performing, whatever level of performance that you set yourself as your level. And that's when people go, I'm lost by my motto. I'm not hitting those goals anymore, things in the way and it always

29:56comes down to interference. So some people that interference is that negative self-talk. Some people that interference is something physical in their life. So again, I would always put the person in front of me first and figure out, you know, for them what is actually going on for them. But in the case where it is toxic, then there's many things you can do around kind of the mental thoughts and processes. In neuroscience, we have this kind of habit implementation approach where, and I think it's almost like very old school way of looking at things where you replace a good and what you would deem as a negative thought. Or maybe on hell thought, they're like negative and positive so much because it's quite, you know, it's quite polar. The clarity of it doesn't quite work for me because some negative is useful and whatever, but if it's no longer helpful and a better to get to where you want to get to, if you're trying to achieve a goal, then what would be more effective is kind of how I like to look at things. As long as it's not interfering and then you're keeping yourself as I say healthy and balanced, then we'll look at that thought. But it's like

31:02replacing the thought with another thought or replacing the belief with another belief. But again, in different times in your life, you're depending what you're doing in your life and what you're trying to get out of life. You'll be conditioning yourself for that event or for that version of you that you're stepping into because we're never the same version as we grow older. We're always changing over the years. So it's looking forward and saying, okay, I'm stepping into this, I'm going through a threshold and that was the old version of me. It's no longer working for me and how to why then reprogram myself for this new version of me, which sounds quite simple and it is if you're guided through the process and you kind of stick to the process. It would be always a beneficial, I think, to, I always say to people to look for the fruit because I think that whenever we're doing so, that's producing fruit. For me, that's always a good sign. I think that's a really good guiding principle. I think if you're creating a habit in your life and you're getting fruit from it, then that, for me, it's a good thing for you to continue. But if

32:06there isn't fruit, if it's dry or dead, then for me, it's really telling you that something needs adjustment. Yeah, and that's really a nice metaphor to use fruit. But again, I kind of go back to, if you look at the neutrality of the mind, so pre, I've given it a meaning, it's just data coming into the mind. So if everything is neutral, it hasn't got a meaning attached, unless it's useful to put that meaning associated to it because it's going to give you something and help you along the way, then great, go for it. But it's, it's almost like you can play with all of this thought stuff, this food in the mind, you can play with all and you can make it work for you really. But if you look at the neutrality of it, first of all, so go back to first principles, data coming in, no meaning attached, I add a meaning, is it helpful, is it not okay, it's not okay, let's take a step back. Yeah, the neutrality is really important, I think, when you go through that process. Yeah, if quick empty thoughts are the white bread of the mind, why are the daily

33:10digital or mental habits that cause those rapid mental crashes like brain fog and those mood dips that we all end up with? I think we all know when we're mind endlessly scrolling, when we're not really putting the mind to use, and often when the mind's not being creative, you'll feel more sluggish because you've got no fresh data being activated. So an insight really is, you know, is one of those data points floating around wherever we think thought comes from, and landing in our system and our neural pathways connecting in ways that they haven't connected before and they'll get interesting. But to have more of those fresh thoughts and that fresh thinking, we need to have more of a balanced mind. And a balance doesn't got to be balanced permanently, it's in that moment the mind almost becomes more reflective. Different parts of the mind connect. Those new neural pathways connect to therefore it could fires off and that's where how we have an insight. So it's thinking about if you want more of that, if that's how you want to operate more of the time, what conditions do

34:11you need to set for yourself to rely yourself to gain more of those experiences? Again, this isn't rocket science. With everything in this condition, so if everyone look at their life right now, what conditions have allowed this to happen, then you'll get input output, you know, causing effects. And so therefore, if we want a different effect, you need different conditions to allow that. Okay, health radio. This station, I make you feel good. Kitchen and bathroom professionals know what goes behind the tile matters. That's why trade pros trust Fiber cement, party backer board to keep tile firmly in place, resist cracking, and help block moisture. Chosen in over 40 million kitchens and bathrooms, party backer board, what the best build on. Shop now at participating Home Depot, Lowe's, and floor into core stores.

35:12For more information, visit jameshardy.com slashhardybacker. This station, I make you feel good. Do you think that most people kind of have like some of these low level empty thoughts and spend so much time doom scrolling because maybe they're overstimulated or do you think it's more because they're tired or stressed or maybe even oblivious? All of the above. It could be any of the above.

36:18Yeah, yeah. I just find it wild when you said to earlier about how some people don't have like that narrative. I mean, my mind's always talking. I'm always talking to myself. Because of that, I'm very mindful of what I consume, what I read, what I do along, what I give my ears to. Okay. See more sensitive to the impressions that the data that's coming in. Yeah. I think for me, the only way into my head is very much through those senses that we talked about. And so for me, if I get to choose where I put my eyes, where I put my ears, you know, what I put in my mouth, you know, I think for me, these are all things that have it have the biggest impact on our thoughts and whether they're going to be low calorific thoughts or whether actually they're going to be creative, full of contribution and purpose and and unlocking. I want to make sure that my mind's got the best chance of providing the most resource. I find it bonkers that we only use like 10% of our brain. And I'm like, we really need to tap

37:24into that other 90. I mean, yes, but equally, it again, it depends on what you're doing with it. So if you if you haven't got yourself a goal that you're trying to achieve or a purpose, a long-term vision that you're working through, your mind is more likely to not be focused on that. It needs to focus. It needs something to to you needs it needs to get to work. So it's doing its job. It's doing its job all the time. You want to be effective at it, but it's working. It's processing. That's the that's the job of the mind, the role of the mind. So make it work effectively. It's like a little worker free of charge in your mind. Get it to work on something. Set it a task. And they it's less likely going to be obviously distracted, but if you have the habit of distraction, again, it's like the habitual aspect of that as well. So if you often wake up in the morning, and the first thing you do is obviously go into your fern and scroll for half an hour, then that's a

38:25habit. So then you're looking at the behavioral habits that the body is almost kind of programmed into. So there is some reconditioning of the body as well in the process of reconditioning the mind, or at least making the mind more optimal and optimized for what it is you're trying to do. But if you're not, if you have no agenda and you have no goal and you have no vision and you have nothing that you're trying to achieve, I mean, then I would say work on presence. Be very present. So it's always something for you to set your mind to do. So they work on having less active racing thoughts by being more in your senses, really, you know, really absorbing yourself in every task that you do. So not just eat the food, taste the food, not just wash the dishes, actually feel the dishes. And that again will help the mind to kind of settle down. Just no excuses. Basically, yes, but I'm trying to get here. Do you love your mind, Gem? And if you do what do you think are the reasons why you love it? Like what do you believe takes that mind that you said early

39:29on, that's a tool? And what do you think is the best things that you're doing like daily that are making your mind beautiful and making it at all? So for me, again, it's just personal experiences, but for me, I've got a very curious mind. So I'm happiest when I'm learning. I'm happiest when I'm teaching. I'm happiest when I'm given back. And you can't really see in this room that I'm in now, but this side I've got a bookshelf of all my health books, then I've got my business books, then I've got my spiritual life coaching. I've got literally bookshelves all around me and I love, I love knowledge, I love learning. So for me, that works to give my mind something to do. And if I'm not, like learning, if I'm not absorbing the good stuff, the content that's actually moving the needle forward, as you said earlier on, banding my knowledge, expanding who I am as a person, I'll be writing. If I'm not writing, I'll be running, if I'm not running, I'll be meditating, if I'm meditating, I'll be teaching, if I'm not doing any of that, I'll be pairing like a nutritious meal. That's going to give me the nutrients for the brain and the body. So I'm always optimizing

40:34myself. And I think my habit is health. We didn't go into my background on how I got into health, but from a very young age in my teens, health became very important to me to repair my body. So at that time, in my late teens, I didn't look at food as just something to, not even as fuel, it was nourishment. If I wanted the best hair and the best skin and the best thoughts, what do I need to put into my body to allow this system to work at its best? It's really sometimes like, it's funny because it's like when you when you start thinking about how food is really about nourishment and how it affects the skin, the mind, even though it seems really obvious, it just makes me think about like, I don't know, maybe some of my own food choices this week and drink choices and how much of that is actually what's best for my skin, what's best for my mood, what's best for my mind. That's quite interesting. And I don't

41:36necessarily feel that I've put that much consciousness on that, other than knowing, you know, people telling me, this is good for you, this isn't good for you, common sense stuff. What do you actually think about is this best for my skin, is this best for my mood? Wow, that's kind of, I feel like a little dislodge penny just dropped, you know, there. Not only that, like some people can't absorb certain nutrients naturally in terms of through the digestive system. So, so then even if you're having the the thing that people prescribe is the best thing for you because it's a trend going around the internet, actually you might be wasting your money because your body can't absorb it because you're not taking it alongside of the nutrients that it needs to be able to then optimize it and be available for the body to use. And that's where other things like peptides and other kind of ways of taking nutrients into the body would would be helpful. Really good there that. So it's so simple. We are, but it is,

42:40everything is so simple if you go to, if you ask the why behind the action. Yeah, I don't want to feel insulted though. So now, stripping the mask in your work within the undressed method and obviously them in your book as well. Yeah. You focus heavily on stripping away survival layers and identity masks. How can someone then begin cleaning up up their own internal myelog when those parents feel deeply ingrained because sometimes when we do try and transition from one thought to another that's like deeply ingrained from our childhood out how do we do that? Yeah, that's really good. So I think as you start to regulate the nervous system, the body is no longer like that snow globe that you're shaking constantly and therefore the thoughts start to dissipate. You go into a different brainwave state, you know, I'm going to high beta therefore you're not overacting. Everything is more settled. When the body in the mind and more settled, you then are naturally activating the body to do to heal and more effectively.

43:45It goes back into homeostasis and the body then does what it's always been programmed to do, heal wounds, whether it's emotional or the whether it's physical or mental. So the first part really is resetting the nervous system. So understanding how you keep triggering the nervous system, whether it's environmental, whether it's in a dialogue, whatever it is, right? To reset the nervous system is the and dressing and there's plenty of tactics and techniques and and methods to be able to do that in terms of the first phase. Once you've reset the nervous system, I can guarantee you'll be thinking differently. You will be choosing differently. You will be being much more conscious around who you're surrounded by, what you're doing for work, what you're putting into your body, what you're putting on your body, what you're doing with your body, all of that is because you will be no longer in survival mode and therefore when you're not thinking as a survival mode person, you're more creative and therefore naturally you would fall into that kind of creative space of thinking and more availability. You'd be online, you'd be more available, you'd be thinking of

44:51opportunities and solutions to problems rather than problems. Your level of consciousness expands therefore you just have better quality thoughts once you've reset the nervous system. That's the first phase. After that you redirect your attention on the once you're settled, once your nervous system is settled, what are the qualities that you experience within natural and innate when you've got a reset balance nervous system? How do you feel naturally? You're not doing anything to feel this way, you're not chasing the goal to feel this way, you're naturally present in the moment, how do you feel with a reset nervous system? Most people feel grounded, they feel present, they feel joyous, they feel content, they feel satisfied, they feel love, they feel creative, they feel fun, they want, you know, they're happy. So then how do we stay in that state more of the time? And how do we build from that state? So the last phase is almost like, I call it a line, but really it's once you're regulated, once you've been regulated for a while, then what you do,

45:54who you do that with, how you how you earn your living might actually shift and it normally does, and then we can think, later thoughts with greater purpose, and then the discipline comes in with the nine dimensions in terms of how do you realign your life now with this reset redirected, reset nervous system, redirected attention, and how do we rebuild after that? Yeah, I'd say that the nervous system is such a hot topic everybody seems to be talking about it. It's not hot, it's not on trend, it's always been, we've always been a walk in nervous system. But I think talking about it and the awareness of it is what's on trend. The sun is always there, even on cloudy days, but you can't always see it, but we draw attention to when we feel it and when people are talking about it. And what I find interesting about the nervous system and resetting it, I mean for me, I think my favorite ways are probably a cold shower, the walk in Albeir for on the ground and listening to Hertz frequency five to eight, they've been the ones that have brought me probably the most resetting of my nervous system.

47:00Is there a particular one for you that you feel this really works for me? So I keep going back to the same principles because when you are not, I mean, I naturally, you know, I teach yoga, I practice yoga, I run, I walk, I wait-lift, I eat healthily, I do the basics anywhere, I do teach breathwork, I do breathwork. So all that stuff's done regardless. But so therefore I'm already in a very balanced state of being before you've been have to consider what to want you to do. So let me think of the old version of me. So the old version of me before I really went gong her on all these health practices probably would have. So before I burn out in my late 20s or 30s, probably would have lived on caffeine, I would have trained far too hard in the gym, pushed my body to its absolute limit, then go into the office in a big transformation program, try and help everybody I could climb every ladder that I could find and be very, very, very, very high, but you know, my vision was like

48:01sky high. So I would be pushing my system in every direction to too much. That was the old version of me. So I would still do health practices, but they're not restorative. It's like running half marathon, doing things that would really exhaust me, you know, and so then my brain would just be quiet because I exhausted myself so much, couldn't think, I was shattered, just slept. So it wasn't really until I studied the neuroscience and went down the spiritual path and to understand about epigenetics and coaching and yoga and all these kind of practices that help with the health of the nervous system, that now it's engraved and it's been part of my lifestyle, and that's what we all have to get to that point because you can't just do it once and then expect your nervous system to be like, oh, forever, and it's not meant to. You know, we have events in life, we have, you know, health scares sometimes, we have a relationship issue sometimes, you know, life happens regardless, but then we've got more tools to deal with it as and when we

49:03need to, rather than relying on professionals to help to get you back into a state of homeostasis. So all of the above and sometimes nothing, I just go for a walk in nature. So when you know what you're doing or what you're doing it for and you're so in tune with your own body, you can choose, you've got a whole repertoire of tools to use, but the one that I always come back to, which I started, I'll say in earlier, is the nature of the mind. It has the most amazing clearing system, when you're not playing in the playground of the content of the mind. So who said, well, why they said that and none of that nonsense. If it's not helpful, just don't do it. It's as simple. If it's not helpful, don't do it. But it's almost like the mind is like, oh, I really want to go. I really like it because you get a pleasure out of it. It's almost like a payoff that you get. It's an emotional feeling that you get, you get something from it, although you wouldn't do it. It is fascinating, I think. I mean, the mind is powerful. As we've said,

50:04it is fascinating, what we attribute certain thoughts and feelings to and how they impact our mood and the way that we see life. It is really fascinating. I think the importance of coming back to self and not being so in our heads that we start to sink rather than actually just being in our truth and holding it, holding firm to our self, I think really is the way to keep moving forward, to keep educating ourselves and to keep having the impact that we want on our own life as well as those around us. Yeah. I think simply, if you were to wrap that into one phrase, it would be only do what loves you back. So you only eat the food that loves you back. I only do the exercises that loves you back. So when you feel amazing after or only spend your time with people that love you back. So if you have that as a discipline, you'll naturally have healthier choices in life. One of mine is go where the love is. I think these thoughts are really beautiful in terms of

51:09helping us navigate and helping us realize what is good for us. I think Greg Reed, as well, one of my favorites with him is if it eats, if it feeds, if it was it, if it feeds you feed it and if it eats you chop it off. So very much. You know, it sounds quite drastic, but the idea is is obviously if you give something, if you give to something and it's giving them back to you. Reciprocal. Yeah. And then you keep feeding that, you know, because it's the fruit, it's the energy, yeah, but if it eats you, if it takes from you, if it drains you, if it depletes you, then, you know, that idea of chopping it off, cutting it out of your life, I think is it really a really good, strong piece of wisdom as well. Yeah, not literal though. No, not literal. Now, where do people connect with you, Jim? For everyone listening who wants to take a deeper look at your work, your retreats, or maybe your own private advisory or get a copy of your book, where can

52:12they find you, and what are you working on next? Oh, thank you. So I'm on Instagram as I am Jim Dentith. Will you put the link in the bio in the chat? My website is my name, so just gemdentith.com. Yeah, please reach out to me. email address is gem at gemdentith. Nice and easy.com. And so currently working on a few things. So I'm updating the website, slightly repositioning it and writing the second edition of the book. The first edition was rather long. It's really good, obviously, he's got so much in there, but I've actually wrapped a lot of science in the second edition. And I've trimmed it down to the first one was 160,000 words, with the playbook, the companion book that goes with it, the second edition, which I've actually finished editing this morning before a podcast is 65,000 words much easier to get through in an airplane. My friends said to me, when you write a book, it has to be consumable on the airplane. So it should take no

53:17more than three or four hours to read. So I've got that in the back of my head now as a book that you can read on your flight. Yeah. And they can read the first one if you're doing a long haul. So if you go to 810 hours to a single port, to buy Australia, then the address method, definitely the one for you. Absolutely. Thank you, Matt. James, been great to have you on bread for the head. And yeah, thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you. Kitchen and bathroom professionals know what goes behind the tile matters. That's why trade pros trust fiber cement, party backer board to keep tile firmly in place, resist cracking, and help block moisture. Chosen in over 40 million kitchens and bathrooms, party backer board, what the best build on. Shop now at participating Home Depot, Lowe's, and floor into core stores. For more information, visit JamesHearty.com slash Hardy Backer. When you've got a job to do, Lowe's knows how to help you keep it moving. My Lowe's pro

54:23rewards members save more with member volume discounts on eligible orders through a quote of $2,000 or more. Plus, save time with job site delivery on select purchases. Not a member, join for free today. Exclusions, more terms, and restrictions apply. Can't be combined with any other discount, including but not limited to contract and or special price loyalty programs subject to terms and conditions. Details at lows.com slash terms subject to change. JamesHearty.com slash Hardy Backer.