31. Why Your Leadership Gets Misunderstood (and How to Change That) | with Miriam Dowling-Schmitt, DNP

Have you ever walked out of a difficult conversation feeling relieved that it went well, only to learn later that the other person felt intimidated, dismissed, or misunderstood?

That discovery can be disorienting, especially when you care deeply about people and had every intention of being helpful.

As your authority grows, however, people may experience your words and energy differently than they did earlier in your career. An idea you are casually exploring may sound like a decision. Your enthusiasm during a crisis may increase someone else’s anxiety. Even a joke or offhand comment can carry more weight than you realize.

In this episode, Dr. Annie talks with nursing executive Miriam, DNP, about the difficult work of recognizing when your impact does not match your intentions.

Miriam shares the surprising feedback that changed how she entered high-pressure healthcare situations, what observing dogs and horses taught her about reading non-verbals, and how becoming a vice president changed the way nursing leaders and providers interpret her words.

You’ll also hear how to:

• Notice what is happening in the room before deciding how to respond
• Recognize when your energy is increasing pressure for other people
• Make it clear when you want honest pushback
• Apologize and repair when your communication lands more forcefully than you'd intended

By becoming more aware of what other people may be experiencing, you can respond with greater clarity, compassion, and authority.

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0:00 — The Observe-Before-You-React Habit That Closes the Gap Between Your Intentions and Your Impact

03:30 — The Deep Breath and Body-Language Read That Keeps You Credible When the Room Is in Crisis

08:25 — Naming Your Intent Out Loud So Your Casual Comments Stop Landing as Orders

09:55 — The Exact Phrase That Gets Your Team to Push Back Instead of Just Agreeing With You

10:45 — The Two-Part Apology That Repairs Trust Without Losing Your Directness

11:25 — A 90-Second Practice to Strengthen Leadership Presence Before Your Next Meeting

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Episode Links:
Meet Miriam Dowling-Schmitt: LinkedIn
Download the free Drama-Free Leadership Starter Kit

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Other Episodes You’ll Love:

28. When Authenticity Backfires: What Leaders Need to Know about Being Real at Work

13. How to Stay Calm and Communicate Clearly in Tough Conversations | Ally McLean, NP

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More Resources for You:

• Explore Dr. Annie's Senior Leadership Coaching Programs
• Get the (free!) Drama-Free Leadership Starter Kit so you can eliminate interpersonal drama on your team.

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