Why, What, How: A Calmer Way To Build Discipline
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About this episode
We tend to think of discipline as punishment, something you do to someone, or to yourself, when they get it wrong. This episode argues the opposite: at root, to discipline is to teach. Once you see it that way, both parenting and self-improvement start to look very different.
I share a simple framework I use, the Why, What, How technique: work out why someone (including you) is behaving this way, decide what you actually want to teach, then find the calmest way to deliver it. I get into the difference between wanting to do something and forcing yourself to, and why the way I respond to my son turns out to be a decent model for handling difficult people generally. Calm, curiosity and a bit of distance do most of the work.
The Stoic Scroll newsletter: stoicism.substack.com
"No Drama Discipline" by Daniel Siegel and Tina Bryson: on Amazon
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