"Tips For Being a Bitch" ft. Martha Kelly

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1:28Wait a dollar. Under 17 out of middle without parent. I'm pretty confident talking into a mic. Hey, I'm doing it right now. But home projects? I second guess everything. Is that noise normal? Is that water damage? Who do I even call? That's where thumbtack comes in. Just upload a photo or voice note and it uses AI powered search to match you with the right top rated local pro. So instead of guessing, you get clarity and can hire with confidence. For your next home project, try thumbtack. hire the right pro today. I'm babs great and when I die, let my final moments be at the comedy store. So I can finally say I passed there. I'm Brandy Posey and this week I heard a boomer try to okay boomer another boomer. A boomer inception. Yeah. Boom. I'm test Barker and Criatine will never make me feel as good as a pink sprinkled donut in a bucket of ice coffee. That's the truth. And this is lady to lady.

2:29Can you keep a secret? Neither can we. Welcome to the show everybody. Oh yeah. I'm in my pastry era. Feels good. Oh, I love a pastry era. So yeah. We're getting a new French participatory crustistry. Patisati. Yeah. Oh yeah. Really? In the new where the dispensary was? Where the juice place was. Oh, I listened. I saw some hipster font going up. I knew something was happening. Yep. In the pastry place. Yeah, because in my neighborhood, a juice place always replaces another juice place. Well, because you haven't hit this iteration yet. The juice place did replace it. Different juice place. Okay. Okay. Yes. Yeah. That already did happen.

3:30So what comes next? Is the participatory. Yeah. The participatory comes next. Yeah. Come back to that. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I got. Patries can get it. Absolutely. Love fucking love a pastry. Absolutely. Is a meal. It goes great with caffeine. Let's bolt shit though. And I think we need to really admit it. Scones. Really? You know what? Yeah. You're right. They're too dense. When you're dense, I do order them. I do. No, I like them, but they're heavy. They're heavy. Yeah. Yeah. Odd crumbling. Like, you can't get it. I guess an amuffin. I feel like I can get a better rip off. Yeah. No, they're not they're not easy to eat. Like they're. No. They're very crumbly. I've had some good ones, but rarely it's a sometimes that yeah, the texture is off a lot at the time. Dry. In the dry scones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've had a lot of good ones. So I'm pretty pro scone. It's going to be a good like travel situation. If I'm like, I'm just going to, if I'm going to like, if I'm going to bird it a little bit all day, a scone's a good thing to have in a bag. I'm there too.

4:30Probably for that. Yeah, do probably for me. Yeah. Yeah. That's what a muffin. Mm. A muffin is better. Or a quastant. Yeah. Let's see how it goes. Quastant. Yeah. Then muffin, then scone. Yes. I agree. I think I go muffin over Cresant. Because I think it's dirt. I think it Cresant flakes too much. That is weird. That flakes a lot too. I think it can be, yeah. I will have to say, RIP to the institution scone cutters that was insult like growing up. It was 24 hour drive through scone restaurant. Oh, man. That like is so weird. It is such a weird, such weird place. Every time Babs talks about growing up, it's like, I feel like she just says these really wacky things. Yeah. Exactly. She's like, I worked at a pillow factory. Like, what's happening in Utah? That's the question. That's the question. Like, again, the teens, they're not fucking. So they got to have access to sweets all the time. Oh, I get it. 24, seven scone drive through. Meet me at scone cutters at two in the morning. They're not gonna make me meet. And it was, how did I swing to it? Also, it is not a scone that you were familiar with.

5:31It's more like a fry bread. It was like a fry dough. Oh. It was like a fried dough. Okay, that's not a scone. I know. Yeah. But it was called scone cutters. I know I know what the fuck was happening with that place. Wow. Was it popular? It was, oh, it was huge. It was a big slice. It's like a cup and a half. This is also wild because again, it feels so salt like and so on brand. But it is also wild because like scones are famously made to go with caffeinated beverages. Right. I know it was, it was not a scone. It was truly not a scone. It was just a fry bread. But they just thought, I think they thought it was a funny name. And they were like, we're just gonna call it a scone even though it's really like a fry bread. Sure. But yeah. Why not? Yeah. That sounds great. I got it. That sounds like someone hopped up on dirty soda. Yeah. I know, I know. Look up. Yeah. It's scone cutters restaurant. I think it was like purely just a salt like thing. But it was like a chain in salt like. Yeah. Wow. Man. Do you have any idea who the top of scone cutters was? Like who ran it? I don't know who the top scone is.

6:31That's not like a local sliver. It feels, yeah. It was just a salt like thing. I don't know. That's not surprising. No, that's definitely just something. It is under the reddit slash Utah food. Yes. It feels like a hell of a reddit. Yeah. That's what's up. Oh, said somebody's, OK, the owners are Vicki and Gerald Warner. Vicki and Gerald. A Gerald owns a scone cutters. Yeah. But this was Vicki's idea. It's her recipe. It's dream. Yes. Yeah. You know, Vicki, I mean, because she heard the words go, and then thought, I don't even need to see one. I know. I know. I've heard it out in scone. Yeah, scone cutters. Get my apron on. Let's go. I know what this is. Yeah, there are 11 locations. Would you go a lot? A lot. You know, it was like a fun late night thing. Like not all the time. But I remember they did a really like honey butter, like, you know, warm, warm scone honey butter situation. It was like an after- We were with donut shops. Yeah. It was basically donut shops.

7:32Did you also have donut shops there? Is that all big? They're not like here. OK. Well, yeah, nothing's like. Nothing's like so- No, no, no, no. But there's a few. There's a few in LA. Or in Salt Lake. But not, yeah, I'm not the same. I think we have a culture here. Have you seen the donut King documentary? No, I mean, you see that. It's great. It's phenomenal. It takes some twists and turns. You don't expect it. That's what I've heard. Great. Big fan. Big fan. The listener wants to understand the culture of Southern California donuts. Check out the donut King doc. It's fucking great. Then come eight one. Yeah. Oh, they're so good. Yeah. I love them. Should we get to her? I think we got to. Oh my god. So excited to have this guest on again. It's been a while. And can I say she's blown up. Since we got this. I mean, she's always been amazing. You know her from baskets and euphoria. She is so funny. Please enjoy her hang with the hilarious Martha Kelly. If you like YouTube, you'll love YouTube Premium. Hi, I'm Sean Evans from Hot Ones. And I want to tell you about YouTube Premium.

8:33It has offline downloads. So you can watch without Wi-Fi. Background play. So you can lock your phone. And it still plays, baby. Oh, and it is completely ad-free. Yes, I said it ad-free. Try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com slash premium. Trial eligibility varies. Terms apply. Cancel anytime. I'm pretty confident talking into a mic. Hey, I'm doing it right now. But home projects, I second guess everything. Is that noise normal? Is that water damage? Who do I even call? That's where thumbtack comes in. Just upload a photo or voice note. And it uses AI-powered search to match you with the right top-rated local pro. So instead of guessing, you get clarity and can hire with confidence. For your next home project, try thumbtack. Hire the right pro today. Martha Kelly, hello. Hello. Thanks for joining us. Thank you for having me. It's good to see you in person. I feel like I've been too. I was telling tests. I've been watching forehead corner,

9:34but now I get to see you in person. So I'm super glad to have you. It's great to be here and see you guys. It's been, I mean, I haven't done stand up in almost four years. So I haven't really seen any of my fellow comics hardly. Have you decided to take a break? You're going to go back to it? You think you're just kind of seeing what happens. I want to go back to it at some point, but I still feel like, I don't know. I think you have to be prepared for audiences to not like you. And I am not ready yet. Yeah, you know, it's not really fun, honestly. It's a thing people are going to like you. You're like an actor actor. So you have that as like a creative outlet. Do you feel like you can 10 more towards that when you're doing a less stand up? I don't feel like a real actor. I still think of myself as a comedian who gets acting jobs. And when it's a comedy show, like there's one coming out on Sunday,

10:34I'm not going to be in it until October, but a sketch show called The Terror's of Jordan Mendoza is coming out this Sunday, the 13th. That was so fun. And doing a sketch on Tom Sigerisho was really fun. Like doing comedies is super fun. But you for a, although Sam Levinson did want it to have humor in it, but it wasn't satisfying like a pure comedy. Right. Right. It was still really fun. I mean, it was a great experience. But yeah, I want to do stand up again. I'm just the last time I did it, the reason it was the last time I did it is because I bombed and I felt personally insulted. And as I walked back to my car out loud to myself, I said, well, guess what? Now no one gets to see me do stand up. Take the power back. We love it. Hell yeah.

11:34That's making all the threat. I feel about the time, like, you know, I wore some kind of shirt that like, whatever, to a show once in this comic, like commented on my boobs. And then I was like, well, now no one gets to enjoy them. Because you said that. Yeah. No one else gets to enjoy them now. Because you've crossed, you said you did the thing you're not supposed to do. It's the business way we can have nice things. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And why can't people just not talk about other people's bodies? I think it's impossible. Yeah. People talk about it. Like, it's the weather. And I do feel like so much of the world's problems could be solved to people understood that they can't just shut the fuck up. Right? Oh, yeah. Yes. You could just not say anything. Yeah. But they refuse. They refuse to not say anything. No, it's the number of times. Because this whole summer for me personally has been very much just like a Madonna summer. I'm just like obsessed with her new album. I'm obsessed with her, like, really happy for her. And most people in my realm are like on the same page.

12:34But then I am encountering people are like, oh, but like Madonna scares me. But my dad is scared. Scares you. Scares you. But she's into her face. She's scary. Oh, come on. Why don't you shut the fuck up? Why don't you, what the fuck in your life have you ever done this even? One, you can make them a bit as interesting or creatively compelling as Madonna. Well, you know, I think it's because it's like the easiest target, right? You know, it's like that's how you like bring someone down to your level or how you get at them. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I love your stand up. So I get it if you're taking a break. But I, you know, it is hard. It is hard when you, especially I feel I'm sure as you felt like you're, you're, you're a known entities. You maybe feel more pressure or something like, you know, when you perform. I still enjoy a lot of unknown, unknown entities. The huge millions of not, no, billions of people, billions of people do not know me.

13:38But I, it's, it's more that like the choices in LA, again, I haven't done it in four years. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like either you're going to, you get a spot on a show at Largo where it's like a famous comic and a sold out crowd of their fans. And then it's fun, but it's also like, I don't want to do badly in front of that. Yes. And, or it's like, you know, driving and parking 45 minutes and then doing 10 minutes in front of 10 people. And I used to love it. And I hope I love it again, but it's also just personal stuff going on that, like what? No, it's getting. It's just me, me learning how to be a bigger bitch. And, we can all learn that. It's, it's really easy to learn. I'm finding. But just like in doing, you know, working through stuff and therapy that is really old

14:38and has taken a long time to get to and it won't, this phase won't last forever, but it does make you feel vulnerable. And like, if I went up in front of the same crowd that I went up in front of the last time I did it four years ago and felt that way, I would possibly cuss them out, right? Which is an ideal. Right, right, right. You don't want that version either. For sure. That's fair. Can you give us a few tips on being a bigger bitch? Yeah, what would you say, step one? What are you learning? Step one is that you, you think if someone does something that is really insulting or hurtful, if someone you know, I mean with strangers, I feel like I have to assume they are as mentally ill as I am and cut them. I'm trying not to confront strangers also because it's like what's the investment? They don't know me if they're being dick. I try to, I try, I don't always succeed in having restraint, but if it's the kind of

15:39relationships I used to have, just finally getting to a point of like, I would never do or say to you what you just did. And so let's fucking go. I don't have to be. It's also letting go of the 12-step indoctrination that I was in for 20 years, which is like you always have to, you should never get angry at anyone. If you do retaliate towards someone who hurts you verbally, outwardly, then you have to apologize and you can't blah, blah, blah. And I finally was like, I don't believe any of that, right? I think if someone is awful to you deliberately and you've tried to address it peacefully and they keep doing it, I think it's fine to be like, why don't you go fuck yourself? There's a reason that feels good. That's your body telling you like, yeah, it's bitch. And then you can be like, maybe, maybe sometimes I feel guilty or uncomfortable and I tell myself,

16:45let's ride it out. I'm not going to go back and apologize to that person who still doesn't care what they did to hurt me. I think to me that's the hardest thing to learn is how to ride out bad feelings because I'm not good at it. And that's why I self-south with like a million bad vices and all the shits. Me too. And it is a thing where it's hard to get. It's hard to sit through. It's very hard to sit through. And so you want to smooth it over and talk to that person and like apologize even if that it's not earned or whatever it is. Yeah. There's so many ways to do that. Yeah. I do love that Taylor Swift said years ago, you absolutely do not have to forgive people in order to move on. Yeah. You don't have to make up with people. Right, right. I probably should not quote her as often as I do. But I do. You know, I think it's good. There's some of them that just really were playing with the plot. Yeah, there's a lyric of everything. Yeah. I always think I like her when she said trash takes itself out.

17:47Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not doing it enough lately. It is not funny at all. It actually is true and I do tell them it. Like sometimes like it's like maybe it's not your job. Right. You can let that. Trash will take itself out. Like you don't even spend energy washing this person, bring them self-doubt. They suck and so that's a problem is going to take care of itself. Yeah. Just don't apply it to your actual trash in your home. Yeah. You got to take out that actual trash day. Unfortunately, if we could teach the actual trash to take itself out. I think some people are probably have robots that are doing that. Yeah, I was going to say rich people are not taking their trash out. They're not taking their trash out. I was trying to write a joke about this and it came to fruition. But it was like how often do you think rich people have to like pull something? Like, you know, you know, you know, I have to pull a door open or pull your trash. You're like, you know, you know, you never, you're still. Yeah, like you literally just are never doing anything where it's like someone's else is always pulling something for you. Yeah, maybe bootstrap. That's the last thing they get. Yeah, they're not that. But if I could, I think I know why I think about this.

18:51But okay, this is going to sound like me bragging and maybe it is within I have a point. Yeah. I'm afraid I'm trying to. You're fine, Chris. It's your bike, okay? I'm not even bragging. I'm not bragging. Anyway, it sounds bougie, but I love the Oh, hey, Valien. I really like that spa. It's a great spa. Anyway, so I guess like a couple years ago, Jeff Bezos went there and when he went there, it was like they had to have a fucking security on the roof and like a secret service around the whole world. I wonder why is it because like somebody wants to kill him. He's so beloved. He's so beloved. It's a good sign. Yeah, it's a good sign when you need that. Yeah. But it's like the Oh, I feel like it is an expensive spa and it's like maybe I'll go there with like for our anniversary or something, but it's like I've been there. You're like, this is not your level. It's like it is. It's like that is kind of how nice spa's get. Like there's only so nice spa's get. Like there's a reason Jeff Bezos went there.

19:51So it's like you can't buy a nicer experience than that. Like you have enough fucking money. Yeah, you found the nicest machines. That's what he's a cut off. Yeah. When you get to that spa, it's like, all right. You're gonna get on with the bucks. Stop the dohy. Yeah, yeah. I agree. I don't think, I mean, I know, I know as I refer to her as my girl Taylor Swift, I know she's a billionaire and I do not support there. I'd, we shouldn't have billionaires. We should tax people out of being billionaires. I totally agree. I've also never been to a spa. I had one massage that wasn't at a spa and I hated it and I have no interest in it. Why did you hate it? For you Lee. Because the person just didn't have any ability to, I don't know, I mean part of it, I shouldn't blame it on them. Part of it is that I, you're allowed to. It's, this is a fun top. At first I'm like, here's how to be a bitch and I'm like, let me talk about trauma.

20:55I'm not going to talk about trauma, but I will say like I have, see complex PTSD. So being touched by someone I don't know, regardless is, creates anxiety. And then when she first, it was, she was recommended to me and by someone and it was on look, she working on location and so she would, was someone who would go to your hotel room. And so she came to my room and then when I got on the table, she was like, is it okay to touch you like up around here? And I was like, I'd rather you do that. And then she did anyway. Oh, that's not cool. And then I was just like, and also like, why, what, I thought I'm, why am I such a grumpy bitch today? Can I say just maybe starting with like a malmosage where you got like the chair? Yeah. Maybe if you want to like ease back in because then it's like a 15 minute thing. Well, it is, yeah, but it is like, it's a very intimate exchange.

21:56Yeah, yeah, yeah. Extremely comfortable. Yeah. And if they cross a line when you literally said to not, yeah, that is their responsibility. Yeah, that's what I get why you wouldn't want to do it again. I wouldn't for sure. Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's a weird, it's like in exchange, you know, yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, I really, I'm very good at dissociating. So it's like, I just put myself elsewhere. It's like, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think it would have been a great experience if I'd done it before I got sober and could be a little drunk or something. Yeah. Yeah. How long have you been sober? You said over 20 years. It will be in December. It will be 23 years. Whoa. Congratulations. That's awesome. It feels crazy, but also it has felt normal for so long that it doesn't feel, it doesn't feel like a big deal because it feels like, I just feel lucky. I just feel really lucky because I'm not someone who is successful at drinking.

22:57Life in the toilet very quickly when I drink. Right. Yeah, I just feel lucky and it feels normal, so I don't miss it. Sometimes I have nostalgia for marijuana because it is a better drug. It really is. Yeah. They got it so wrong with which one they know I. I know. I just feel about that. Yeah. I mean, I, I don't want to get too far into it, but I've been in my own journey with like, maybe being sober or not, whatever. And I'm at the point right now where I'm like testing it out again. Right. You know, it's always encouraging to hear somebody's been doing a long time because it is like to hear that it's like, I don't know that you said that you're like, you feel lucky and that you feel like you're in a good place. But, but being newly trying to like not drink, you're just so aware. It's fucking everywhere. Yeah. And it's like constant and with weed, obviously, we'd never were too, but it's way less accessible or it's less just like, you know, if I go to stand up, it's not, it's just, it's just right. It's not offered to you at dinner. I'll go and just fucking constant. Yeah, it's like a bit. It's so hard to avoid.

23:58It's crazy how, how yelling intertwined it is and just so much of our system. Yeah. And you don't kind of like pay attention until you're paying attention and then you're just like, yeah, it's really hard in the beginning. And like for better and worse, I joined a very culty AA group when I was new. And that did help me get through that part because, because culty groups like churches or actual cults or culty AA groups, they love bomb you. I would say in the defense of the group, I was in for 20 years. They weren't doing it to be manipulative or they weren't aware they're doing it. Yeah, yeah. And their reason for doing it is it's hard to be new. We want to shower newcomers with support and invite them to every social event. Let, you know, learn their name right away, greet them every time they come, call on them at meetings. And then you feel like, wow, I've found the community I've been wanting my whole life. Right.

24:58And that helped me get through the early parts of not drinking. But it would have been better if after I got through that part, I could have been like, gosh, some of the things they believe in in practice, I am not on board with. But I stayed for 20 years because I thought they were like a second family, you know? Yeah. And I was like various experiences like that where I, you know, it can be very helpful in the beginning. And then at some point you kind of get disillusioned, you're like, all right, it's not for me. But I think whatever, you know, everybody has their own path. So it's like, yeah, it's, however you want to work it, you know? It's all like different, whoever your different kind of group is and stuff too. Yeah, but it makes sense to dive so hard into it at first because it's, you are trying to replace, you know? But alcohol is so built around socially. Yeah. So to have a social network that is not built around alcohol, I'm sure is super helpful and awesome. But then it is funny because it's like the opposite side is like, now my life is built around people who aren't doing it. It's like such, you know, that's it's something to do.

25:59Yeah. Well, like, yeah, for people that have touched you too, like I think it can maybe be alienating sometimes, like if somebody relapses or something like that. Yeah, yeah. I've touched people with that experience. It's a real life. There's been a relapse of people have just been treated in a way that was like really. Yeah. Shitty. That was one of the reasons that I, that I became disillusioned with my group is like, the way that when someone relapses and they would come back with this shame and self hate and blame and like, that's not right. Right. It takes so much courage to try again at anything that is that difficult. If you try and then you relapse to let yourself feel hope again by trying again, takes a huge amount of strength and courage. And instead, a lot of AA groups treat people like, well, you screwed up, you messed up and you didn't, you weren't doing A, B and C and that's why you relapse when it's really like, well, no, it's substance use disorder is a really difficult thing to overcome.

27:05And also like, I have friends who we all drank together a ton when we were in our 30s and then now they just don't drink because they got, like some people just spontaneously stop without programs and for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I do think there is an idea. I don't know, I would be curious like whether this is like international or like an American thing, but I do think that like 12 step in particular in the United States has successfully positioned itself as kind of like the monopoly or the only way to kind of get sober. And that's actually interesting, but they really will do that so successfully. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy we're talking about this. I literally went to my meeting the other day for the first time in like years. And it was, you know, it's a really intense experience. And it's hard as a newcomer too because it's very like the method of it all is like very, I don't want to say it. It just, it all follows a very specific flow. It's kind of like doing yoga and where I'm like, I don't know how to do this flow. So I'm kind of like, open your like doing over.

28:07Yeah. Although that's supposed to be okay, I still feel like I'm like sticking out, you know, a lot. Well, and I've heard it's like, because the NA can be a little bit more chill because AA is like very kind of, very kind of churchy a little bit too. It can really, if you have like religious trauma at all, it can kind of really kind of open up that stuff up. Yeah. But NA is a little bit less strict with the book of it all too. So it kind of like depends on the different like, you know, what you're really going with to. I think I don't know, I feel like there are different methods. Obviously everyone has their own approach, but I can see why it's helpful, especially yeah, for people who don't, you know, have a community or like have a lot of people around. Totally. Because you do need to, it's like you need a buoy to grab onto. Yeah. Some of you have gotten sober through 12 step. Yeah. Obviously it is effective. Yeah. It is just curious me. Yeah, just like with the white gamut of different methodologies that are available that it is the thing. Yeah. I think, I mean, this is just my, my bitchy opinion.

29:08I think that it caught on because it was the first, it was the first program for that treated it as an illness. Mm hmm. And that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. Part of it. That. And then the other part of it is that it is just absolutely the framework of evangelical Christian patriarchy, 100 percent. It was based on that. It still is framework, the framework is still that. And so that's Americans are like, yeah, let me get some of that. Right. It's like, yeah, if Shane might, if Shane myself had, we love Shane. We love Shane. Yeah, yeah. It's like, he's familiar with corn syrup. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah, and all the institutions supported it because it was, you know, there's a lot in the literature about how it's a democratic program of equality. Yeah. Like, there's no, whatever, but in practice, there is very much higher. Of course.

30:09But I mean, like, can you help that when people get together at all? Like, I just feel like that's humans in an organization. Yeah. Well, I mean, there's, what are we going to see now where I volunteer like our friend Tamar Brown, who's like a, a site lead at, see, which is an awesome organization that helps like unhoused people. But she was saying that like what they do is they intentionally shift their leadership like pretty often. Yeah. She was like, yeah, every kind of like six months or so, we actually do ask people in leadership positions to move out. Right. Because we don't want. I guess I mean more like, you know, if there's like some, like a calm unit or something, and everyone there pretends that there's no hierarchy. Oh, she's always going to go down at a calm. Yeah. Like, there's always people who are always going to have ego and they're always going to like center themselves. Yeah. You know, so I feel like that's hard to avoid. Part of the flies isn't available. I mean, and I will say after I just should all over AA, I was in a, I was in a Zoom, a group that met on Zoom that still does. They meet every day on Zoom and it's people in LA and people in England, like they started

31:11during the pandemic and it's all creative people, sorry. And they're not like my old group. They're really loving. There's not a, there's no clickishness or hierarchies. And they're much less shaming, but with the framework of the program and the literature, you can't ever completely get away from the shame aspect of, you know, your, your main problem according to that program is that you're selfish and self-centered. That's the, the root of the majority of your life problems are that you're selfish and self-centered and the answer is to surrender to God and to not trust yourself. And they, I just, yeah, I tried to say something positive and it came back to a nightmare. That's just your truth. As long as I keep telling you that inherently I'm a bad person, that's all I need to know. Because that's the truth that I know. Yeah, I'm just a raw dog how bad I am. Yeah, I'm like, I love to do that because I'm a person. I have a chance for all of my Catholic guilt into the environment.

32:14Yeah. I gotta go somewhere. Yeah. I'm figuring out the whack-a-mole of how you want that feeling to where you want to man a past. Maybe I don't want to knock out. Yeah. Maybe just talking to people every day, maybe it's getting really into mountain biking, you know, it's like, it's whatever. Yeah. All I can say is, yeah, I've been taking a break from drinking and I have been eating copious amounts of candy. Can you handle normal? No, I know that that's a, that's a correlation for sure. Yeah. And it's also like, I also feel like there's nothing to feel bad about what we eat or if we drink. I mean, to me, the, okay, I swear to God, this is the last preachy judgmental thing I'm gonna say. But I really feel like if we could like turn the knob towards like, I'm doing my best, I'm gonna keep trying. I'm gonna reach out for help and whenever I have a setback, I'm just gonna tell myself,

33:20hey, that's okay, keep going instead of, oh God, I ruined it and I have to start again, you know, exactly. You know what I really love, do you guys ever see these videos online of like little kids learning to snowboard or skateboard and then they have a microphone on? No, yeah, yeah. And they're just like, it's okay, it's okay. Oh no, you fell down, you get back up, you can try again. And just to hear a kid pep talking themselves, like, oh, you've been raised in a way that like you aren't internalizing this as shame. And like that, those videos like make me a little emotional because I'm like, oh, you are like, this is, this is the breaking of that, right? It's like seeing from a young age being like, I'm not gonna just take on, oh, I messed up there for I am bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that the, what's it called? The Puritanism just runs so deep. Even though the relationship that we're taught to have with rest, it's like, I deserve a vacation. I deserve a nap, I deserve a night off. No, that's just what your body and your being needs right now.

34:24There's no deserving it anymore than you deserve a pizza pizza. I'm eating a pizza pizza because that's what I want and I need to eat that to exist. And like this idea of deserving things and not deserving things and being worthy of things is so rooted in like patriarchal religion. Yeah, it is. Yeah, pizza wrap just takes the pizza. Be the wrap. Be the wrap. I love the purple pizza. The problem is for me that I, that manifests itself though in me allowing myself to do anything I want all the time. And that doesn't work out for me because I don't get the thing, I don't end up doing the things I want. I don't home myself accountable. I don't do anything hard. I numb out constantly. So to me, that's the other end of it. If I always follow like what I want in the moment, I don't actually get the things I want. But then are you getting to a place of shame ultimately? Yes. That's the problem. Like it's more talking of the shame, get rid of the shame than that would be great. Sure. That would be great. That's what I mean.

35:25It's all right. Just easily solve it. If I get rid of the shame that has been foisted on you, you're entirely by everyone. No, no, it doesn't help. But like to me, like I, if I never, it is like I don't ever held myself accountable. So at some point, like it's not helpful for me to just let myself do anything I want all the time. Yeah. I know what you mean. And I really relate to it. And this is, I don't know if this is helpful or not, but really therapy has helped me a huge amount. The shitty thing about therapy is it is cost prohibitive for so many people. But that approach is more, because I exactly felt that way and experienced that. And I feel like if I just, if I stop being hard on myself or in, you know, like some, some communities call it like holding yourself accountable, if I let go of that, I'm just going to spiral into, you know, being like Elvis Presley at the end of his life.

36:31And like, and also to change that takes so long and is really painful. And there's all these doctrines and programs telling us it doesn't have to take long and it doesn't have to be painful. You can just be hard on yourself and that'll fix it and keep being harder and harder and that'll fix it. And I'm not saying what worked for me would work for everyone. I'm just saying I hate that people have to be hard on themselves and suffer and feel like if I, if I actually treated myself like a kid I loved and would never be mean to, then I would go off the rails. Like that, that, that's what I was raised believing and that's what my AA group told people and, and then I had times in my life where I did like where I just took the breaks off of my eating because that was what I want to when I stopped drinking and was like, I gained 50 pounds in a year and I was like staying up all night, bingeing on sugar and then sleeping

37:34all day. And my life, once again, my life was in the toilet. But what from there, which was 14 years ago to now, I've had a huge amount of therapy and let go of the 12-step program I was in for food, the OA program because it just kept that cycle going. I fucked up, I got to start again, I fucked up and it's me and it's my fault. I'm not, I'm not doing enough. I'm not doing the magic checklist of reading, writing, journaling, praying, meditating, meeting, sponsorship, all that was like, I did, I have periods where I did all that and I still binge. Well, and I think it's hard to because it's like so much of the shame comes from being like, I can fix this within myself and it's like, you do not exist in a vacuum. We exist in a violent society that is hurtling towards its logical conclusion currently. And it's like, so to be like, I can have the, I can do all of these things, I can have

38:36the perfect life, I can make, I can, everything can be going great. It's all in my control is like incorrect and actually is like, taking away responsibility from like, a societal power is that be that it's like, yeah, of course you're like, feeling exhausted and like at the end and like reaching for tiny little things that make you feel better because it's like, people have to have three or four jobs to like pay their rent and they don't have downtime whatsoever. So you're looking for any kind of release and then it's like, yeah, but for you to like, have then take on that shame is like, taking away the fact that there's bigger forces at play than just your own individual like, quote unquote, imperfections or like problems, right? And it's like, that is a place to give yourself compassion to be like, I'm doing my best in a society that is trying to kill me. Yeah. And it's like, important to place yourself in that, I think, a lot. Right. And it's, it's a normal animal instinct to want comfort when you feel pain. And that's not a, like a shortcoming, but I do want to say, I'm getting really preachy

39:42and pushing what worked for me, which is not helpful because I care about you and I don't want you to be feeling bad. And so I'm going to reel that in because it's not helpful for me to be like, no, do this what I did and don't feel the way you feel because you have to feel the way that you feel. And also, I don't know what works for other people. Like someone else could go to my same therapist and do the same journey that I've done and be like, fuck this shit. This is terrible. I need something different. So I'm sorry I went. No, no. I was like, you guys watch couples therapy? Yeah. It's such a good show. I just, I was watching the season. And it's like, they, you know, she talks to couples and then she goes talks to, I was like, oh yeah, they have a little gossip session with other therapists. Oh, funny. Yeah. And she's getting advice from people who are experts and things. But I was like, I love this aspect of it. It's taken to like, under the guise of like getting advice from you. Let me talk shit about. Yeah.

40:43I hope they get to do that. I hope those are pissed. I'll tell you right now, as someone who's like, uh, substance do toddle it, your teachers talked shit about you every single time. Of course. Yeah, I hope so. Yeah. Yeah. They had to let some steam out. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I do, yeah, I do know therapists, like if they are good at it, they also go to therapy as their practicing. Yeah. So they, of course, will be like, and this fucking walk-o lady. Yeah. I didn't think about them talking about me and their therapist. Yeah, the way you're stressing them out. Oh, yeah. It's riddled all the way down. And then that therapist needs to get a therapist about that therapist. If you like YouTube, you'll love YouTube Premium. It's destroying athlete, creator, and YouTube Maxer. YouTube Premium enhances how I use YouTube with awesome features like offline downloads, so I can download my favorite training videos before I hit the gym. So no Wi-Fi doesn't turn leg day into loading day. Plus I get ad free videos, background play, and so much more.

41:47YouTube Premium is like YouTube got some extra gains. Try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com slash premium. Pro eligibility varies, terms apply, cancel anytime. Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start, Thumbtack knows homes, so you don't have to. Don't know the difference between Matt Paint finish and satin, or what that clunking sound from your dryer is. With Thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro. You just have to hire one. You can hire top rated pros, see price estimates, and read reviews all on the app. Download today. All right, should we play a game? That's what the game is about. We're just gonna say it's called the best. So we're just gonna say something. You can tell us what the best thing is. Yeah, you choose the best. OK. Of this case. Yeah, OK. That's cool. It's the best. It's the best. It's the best. It's the best. Number one, the best. With a bullet. The best.

42:48What's the best? We are. Tell us the best you are. The best... The best... The best... So what best hidden LA secret? Oh, I... Okay, best hidden LA secret. God, that's hard, because I... I mean, for me, it would be how great my couches. That's a good one. That's a good one. Do you have pets? Yeah, I have one large dog and two very bossy cats. Oh, and they all like each other. Oh, they do. Yeah, and I got a couch from living spaces and an ottoman that are both way bigger than I thought they were. When they arrived, I found out they're really too big. And it's great, because it's like having a giant soft RV in the living room where everybody... Oh, yeah. Five people could fit on it and the dog and the cat.

43:49Oh, guess. Gallagher was on to something. Yeah, it is really. It's fun to have a giant couch. Yeah, but then the other side is like sometimes I don't go out and do stuff because of it. I could see that. Yeah, I often have the fantasy of like rolling into a party with my dog on the couch, like if we could put wheels. Yeah. This is... I'm sorry, this is so gross, but it's been so hot in LA and I just feel like I've sweating my couch so much. At this point, I'm like, I figured it different. Like, it's just like it's not good anymore. Yeah. We need a new place. Yeah, it's related. Does this happen to any... Tell me if this is a familiar experience. Every couple of years, you see something on the internet that's like... Fill your bathtub up with hydrogen peroxide, drain it, put your pillows in it. Watch all the grease come out. Oh, oh, like the... See how disgusting you are. And then I'm like, yeah, I should do that. And then I don't.

44:49Does that happen to anyone else? Yes, spa day for your linens is what it's called. I really... Yeah. Wow. I've seen it. I actually want to do it. I can't... Bamboo sheets you can't do with. I gave... Yeah. Stop thinking about it. I've seen it. I'm not... Whatever. I want my pillows to ever be submerged in water. Right. Yeah, the pillows... Yeah, I didn't think about that. That part sounds gross. No, it's like kind of mold. It feels like it would be moldy. No, I know it would dry, but it feels weird. I think it dries eventually pretty quickly. Yeah. Just to play devil's advocate or maybe angel's advocate here, think about how much grease comes out of your head every night. Oh, for sure. That doesn't feel regular on your... I think we're wrong. Like, everything's disgusting. Also to be fair, everything is disgusting. And we shouldn't think about it too much. Yeah, also that. So I think that's the real thing. Yeah. I fear that I'm turning a quarter. I think I'm starting to get a little cookie.

45:50Oh, I know I'm starting to get a little cookie, but I'm starting to really go a little over the edge with hotels in germophobia. Oh, I know. I'm starting to pack my own pillow. I don't like to talk to people in the hotel, my own pillow, I don't like to touch the remote. Are you there too? I'm not touching the remote. I will bring my pillow if I'm going on a long enough trip to have two suitcases because I can't bring it if it's just one but yeah I don't but for me it's because they're too high the pillows are too high in hotel. Yeah they're always like huge. Yeah they always suck really bad. Yeah I mean I would love to find a portable good pillow like something that rolls up and then when you get there it like poops out to a good... Not like a camping one like a cool one. Yeah I would love to do that because yeah I find that there a shitty consistency. I really get skived out honestly because I'm like I know they don't fucking wash the dave in between guests. I know they don't wash that runner. Someone else's grubby bare feet have been on this runner. I can't stop thinking about it when I'm in a hotel room.

46:54You know what I think? I think you need a U-condom. I think you need instead of covering everything in the hotel room. You need to cover you in something. I need to be like the boy in the bubble. Yeah. You need a hotel bubble that you just go into here. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's long rubber arms and stuff. Yeah that'll be relaxing. I think so. Yeah. No I try... you know in general like I'm good about nothing but that stuff but I think yeah the older I get I can like think more about it and be like you know it's hard to... Yeah. Would you let yourself go there? It's hard to not too. Yeah. I try to just when I get really grossed out I just go look there are people living outside. We used to... all of us used to live outside. Yeah. Being a living organism is disgusting and I'm going to be fine in this hotel. Right. Yeah. I don't mean that in a flippant way. I just mean like I get really grossed out too and I have to go okay yeah I'm grossed everyone's gross. I'm going to this gonna be gross to sleep here but ultimately I get too tired. That's the best thing you have

47:59to do because I love traveling and I like I also love hotels. Yeah. Yeah. You do love hotels. Yeah. No I get it though because once you do it's just like it can it can fester like very easily. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to turn off a thought. No. And you're like you're not trying to think about it but it's like an intrusive thought I just keep having. Yeah. Yeah. Okay Martha. Let's talk about it. How do I call it? How do I call it? Martha. What is the best simple advice? Okay this is simple but it's it's not it's very difficult but it's so it's simple but difficult which is every opportunity when you can remember if you are mad at yourself or something to just pretend you're talking to someone you love the most in the whole world and try and change it to like hey like the way that if my friends make a mistake or family members are nice enough you that even if I'm like they're totally in the wrong I'd be like well you know it's okay the way

49:06that I won't be mean to other people I love I try to I've tried initially I found it not only mortifying but also repulsive to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not doing that. That's not justified. I do deserve to get mad at myself or whatever. I don't even know if I thought about it that was just like oh I'm not doing that. I don't believe it. And then now it's like I can sleep too late and have to leave the house without doing my normal morning chores and I go oh I'm an adult I'm not going to get in trouble and it's fine. I'm not hurting anyone. My pets are fine. I do their chores regardless. Yeah. I'm like it's fine. Don't be in bitch to yourself. I guess that's more like learning to not like learning you're not going to get in trouble. Yeah. Definitely. The feeling of that you're going to get in trouble is what it's like someone's going to write my name on the board. Yeah. Do you guys know the first time you got your name

50:07written on the board? I don't know that my school did that. Yeah. I don't think we did it. I think that they they would just yell at you and if you were like there was one crazy kid who would when the teacher would yell he would get under his desk and start yelling earthquake. Like he had that. This was genius. Yeah. This was third grade. I loved him and that teacher because one time she got mad at the whole class and she went all the hell with it and my parents I told them and we would laugh about that for years. They were all the teachers but yeah they would just yell and then if he kept acting up she'd go like you have to go to principal's office and then our principal would just be like hey stop doing that. You know like you wouldn't maybe your parents would get called but nothing crazy. It was a hippie school. Yeah. That's like a real Tom and Jerry situation. Yeah. Just kind of bounced the child. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I always

51:10did love teachers like that that we were just like listen I'm not gonna make this kid conform. Yeah tell me yell earthquake and go sit in the bed. Yeah. Yeah. And that kid is a seismologist today. Yeah. Followed his passion. I just don't know how teachers didn't burst out laughing more with elementary school kids like because kids are so funny. They really are. They're so funny and they're so like devastating. Yeah. Yeah. They can just really cut without knowing it. I'll never forget. I used to talk about this on stage but I had substitute taught. I think they were like third or fourth graders and like that was a really cute age because they just like love you like all they want to do is be good and love you and like these girls were trying to be nice and at recess they drew me a picture and they said miss Barker you go girl and don't come back. So funny.

52:11That is so cute. We release you. Yeah. Okay. Mara the best use of $50. Oh okay. Truthfully this is this is cringe and goes against everything you've seen in my personality since I got here. But if it's not my last $50 and I don't have to buy food or something with it the best use of $50 is to give it to somebody who's a stranger who's broke either over tipping or if you see someone who's living outside and surprise them with way more than they normally would be given or if you're staying in a motel leave that or more for the housekeeping. Yes. That it just send it to some we see someone online in your Venmo to them. That is a luxury though because I have had a decent paying union job for 10 years although I'm currently unemployed. But like if it's not your last money the high of giving

53:18it to someone who needs it because I remember what it was like the day I found a $20 bill on the sidewalk when I was broke and how happy it made me. Now that's your thing is like if you can afford it it can that can be like literally life changing for somebody else. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wish that rich people could tap into that because it is like it you feel good it isn't some kind of like I guess they don't like doing helping people if it feels good they want it to be like oh sure. Resentfully here's here's a little bit of food you starving child like I hate to give it to you. Yeah. You know you don't I think maybe part of it is is that most rich people don't even interact with the world in the way that they're gonna get to see that starving child eat like they're philanthropy is that with other rich people they go to like these events. Yeah no no they're they're bearing their bubble they've gotten their bubble. Yeah. They're not able to. Yeah. Yeah. I can't like just say I have Taylor Swift I will say like she goes through people's go fund me and

54:21just like that's awesome. I mean just and that's what I would do if I was rich I think that would be so fun just to be like yep this animal you're rescued. That's right. Hospitality. You just got paid like yeah that would be fun not even to know how you should do this or like it is your obligation if you're not rich but like it's kind of be fun you know what it's kind of be like gambling except you know it's all gonna pay off. Yeah. You became the house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And she gives and then she low she writes a check for a hundred thousand dollars for each of the people on her tour. Yeah that's awesome. And that's over and above what they were already paid. I just like be that way with your money and experience how good you feel. Yeah. Yeah yesterday um I went I run an open mic like weekly and when I showed up like a few people had boot case of flowers and I was like what's going on and my co-host Kristi Bana had bought out one of the women on the side of the you know selling it. There's a hundred degrees in LA yesterday. Yeah. Yeah.

55:22Yeah. That's right. And she said I want to buy all these like I hope you can go home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the kind of shit. Like you know that would have a hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. That's so great. Yeah. It was awesome. It was really nice. Yeah. That's great. And then we and then she gave up all the flowers all of us up the mic it was so cute. See? Yeah. Yeah. It was just so cute and so fun. It was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. It's something nice thing to do. More people just like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Should we answer some advice? Let's do a lady problem. If you have one you can send it to us at lady2ladycomedygmail.com or give us a phone call at 3236 but 30 two T's. We got but we got but we got but in the phone. We got but now. Let me pull it up here. Do you guys remember speaking of butts while she's looking for that? Was this just like my hometown thing or do you remember these things in the 90s that people would stick in their cars that would moon people and they were called moonies? Oh yeah. No. It was a super butt you could get it if that was it. Yeah. Yeah. You could press the thing and it would drop the pants. Yes. Yeah. I had one in my car and I of course you did. No way. What was this

56:26contraption? What's it? It was just Spencer's gifts. But like it was paper like no no it was like a plastic guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get red pants in the yellow shirt. Yeah. Wow. We're outsourcing moaning. Yeah. It was awesome. Yeah. It was great. You could be driving and you could just squeeze this little pump and he would drop his pants. I'm buying this tomorrow. Yeah. Oh man. That was like oh my god. There was a guy recently who during a car chase in LA he knew that he knew the hell of a fight. He mooned the fucking New Zealand helicopter. We're getting sick. Really good. Yeah. It's really hot. I love that. I love that. Did you see the guy on the motorcycle that got refilled. He dropped a TikTok because he shot a TikTok of him. He shot a TikTok during his car chase. Yeah. He was trying to fill up his gas and someone left gas for him like in the middle of a field during the car chase. Wow. That is why it was like. Yeah. It was incredible. Yeah. And he drive the TikTok that was just like if she won't chase you someone will. The cops behind him with

57:27those butter and tech and I was like man this city. Yeah. So unserious. A lot of pride. Oh my god. I love it. Okay. Here we go. Lady. Lady problems. Lady problems. Lady problems. Lady problems. Do you have them? Lady problems. Do you have them? People have them. My ladies. This is the very first time that I have called in and I'm kind of the pride of it that because how a lot of lady problems and I've always loved listening to doors as well or other colors are leased. Both Brandy and Babd I've seen you both live in Portland before. I was the drunk girl that tried to buy you a drink but the bartender both times

58:28told me I couldn't even and not alcoholic one but anyway here's my problem. I just got back from this work thing and I figured I was going to dwell on it and it was going to tidy up at night or I was going to call you guys. So there is one man in my unit at work and he is of course the one that makes the most money. He's the one that has the quote unquote most seniority or so he thinks and yet does the absolute least amount of work and causes the most drama in our unit. I was just informed by my boss that I am taking his place as the leader on this committee that's really really important to our unit and I felt like really proud of myself at that point and really excited about the possibility until I find out tonight that he sent an email back to my boss and our other boss saying I am attempting to sabotage him and undermine him and how could

59:35I possibly do this and I just don't feel proud anymore and I don't want to deal with it and it's really stressful. What do I do? It's one of those things where I'm not trying to rock the boat too much. I got other shit on my plate. My dying dog, my horrible relationships with my boomer appearance. I've got a lot of other stuff that is more pressing and important. So do I just say things for the opportunity but no things to like keep the peace. Do I say screw it? I'm more junior than you and I still got asked to kind of be on this important committee. I don't know. I just think irritating that something like this and a man could make me feel go from like feeling so proud to so disappointed and upset and I'm going to try not to dwell on it but any thoughts. Thanks ladies. So you were asked to do it. It's not like you even put yourself up for it. It sounds like.

1:00:36Yeah. So your bosses are the ones that were like oh you should you're a better fit for this. Yeah. People above this guy. Yeah. So what he's saying is not that it would be correct anyway but it's inaccurate. Yeah. It has no bearing. It has no bearing. The decision making that happened. Yeah. So I think this is kind of a case of like you probably know this intellectually but you know that it was your work and your work ethic that got you this position but it feels shitty to be undermined in this way and and to have somebody go out of their way to talk shit about you in a professional setting as much as I can say here and say to you it'll actually like fuck this guy and that it that feels like shit. Yeah. And it makes sense that you're upset and I would be too. That's bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. I would be really upset. I've been in two work situations where co-workers talk shit about me and tried to either get me to quit or get fired and I will say both times some putting this up there as a ray of hope.

1:01:37Both of those times my bosses were they knew what they saw it was going on and they let me know hey I'm I don't care what they're saying. I didn't bring it to them. One of them was in a restaurant and in fairness to my co-workers I was not a good waitress. But I tried really hard and I did my best and my boss one night was like I know that they're given the other waitresses are giving a hard time but I don't care what they're saying you're doing great. I'm going to keep you and don't worry about them. And the other was in office and the office manager was like she saw through the woman who was trying to sabotage me and protected me from that. So maybe the bosses will do that because that is their job. It's not our job as co-workers to deal with a fucking lunatic asshole. Right and I think actually this goes back to my trash shakes itself out point. This guy is showing his ass because if these bosses that are at this company have any kind

1:02:43of comments since at all. Anyone who sends an email like this he's coming office really in Fiatile. Yeah really unprofessional and I think the bosses are going to see that and to the best of your ability that you can let yourself be pissed off about it but then try to put certainly I think you should keep going with this committee position and like try to put some horse blenders on and like yeah try not to pay any attention to this guy. Yeah definitely. I also like were you were you on this email or how I would like to know how you found out about this email. Yeah right. Did a boss tell I really hope your bosses didn't tell you. I really hope that. Yeah I want to know how you found out about it because like also it's yeah it's all it's very unprofessional of him to have done that like if he does anything to you directly if you guys have HR I think you should just be like just gonna forward this. Yeah yeah like just and not make a stink of it but just be like I just want you guys in the loop like let him build his own case let him let him take himself out. Yeah yeah yeah because you got you got more important shit going on. You

1:03:47let the gift of perspective that comes with tragedy make this a very make this man as small as possible in your life you know what I mean yeah like I mean and I know that that is more easier said than done but it's like he does not deserve the headspace and you were asked for this and like you're better at this job. You're asked for it because you're good at what you do. Yeah and fuck him for trying to like diminish this accomplishment if you're like yeah yeah like you get to be angry and be like how dare he ruin my happiness about this how dare he do take that away from me. Yeah he's trying to he's trying to make you feel like shit so that you won't take it or you will you know that's his plan so it's like don't let him win. No you know I know how uncomfortable it is to confront something like this or whatever but that's his whole his whole thing. Yeah yeah yeah yeah he couldn't do it himself so he has to try to take you down to his level. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah this man has shown himself to be a giant red flag so I also feel like any communication you need to now have with him always try to be emailing and things that have a

1:04:50paper trail like yeah I was gonna say I would really keep track of like any any communications with him yeah super professional build a you know have a timeline of need be you know yeah and sometimes it's fun with people who have really been treacherous to daydream about writing a witch's broom over their house. Yes this is what I'm here for Martha writing something I used to do that all the time with my old day a group like I'm gonna write over I'm gonna fly over that building and write something mean in the sky. Hey yeah like in the Wizard of Oz. Yes and also imagine bringing my giant dog who wouldn't hurt a fly but imagine bringing her and being like guess what we're here to bite everybody. Yeah and but I'm thinking my dog is I'm so sorry of this uh caller I'm so sorry that your dog is is uh dying and like it's also okay to let the anger that comes with grief go ahead and direct it at this man. Yes not not to his face but let yourself be like so be like if you can

1:05:55be like a friend yourself who's like yeah you have every right to be angry and fuck him and you're gonna do this and he's gonna be mad about it and good I hope he gets madder as I'm doing the job he wanted you know. Exactly but it's easy for me to say that because I don't have to deal with people like that right now or and haven't since I love that group it's hard when you're in it. Yeah it's hard to be. It's very hard. You know it's when it's all tied up in your jaw it's like it's yeah it's you don't want to rock the boat more and like that's why you that's how it people like that end up winning because you're always trying to like play game them and so it's very tough. Someone's job or housing it's like that's yeah you got yeah you don't have to create instability there right yeah you're gonna try to just get along to get along because yeah once they have that should all like chaotic yeah congratulations also. Oh yeah all the joy out of you getting your offer too. No seriously yeah yeah take a moment to congratulate yourself. Yeah. Yeah. You can watch out or you can say the curse. Yeah you've been cursed.

1:07:03No cursen. Yeah yeah yeah cursen. Cut him cut a piece of hair and just be like I've got this and how about you back this up. Just walk up and say I can see inside your window. Yeah I know where you live yeah um you know just get a little bit of mafia like a 15% mom yeah I think and you're good. I do have to say you guys like this is somewhere where I love being a tall woman because like if you put a heel on me I can scare a man. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. I love that. It's nice. It's nice I can feel like it's fun to watch them literally cower. Yeah I love that. I love I just saw a TikTok last night that was a compilation of surveillance camera videos of women being hit and then just beating the shit out of the man literally wailing on him and I'm not I don't get in physical fights. I'm not violent. I don't want people to get hurt

1:08:03but there's something so satisfying about someone who tries to hit a smaller person getting the shit beat out of them. It's great. Yeah. I think when they don't see it coming. Yeah it's the ultimate you fucked with the wrong bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Also to add to this actually if you aren't doing any kind of like physical something get this out physically in your body. Go to a class of some kind if you run make sure you go like think think about this as you were doing it just like work the the bullshit out of your body. Yeah. Go to a dance night if you don't have like a class that you like taking or something and then just be like I'm just gonna dance it out and just think of this fucker and then buy like get it physically out of your body I think helps a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good luck. Let us know what happens. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And send us your other lady problems girl. What are you doing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody send your lady problems. 32. Do we six but 30? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Martha thank you so much for hanging out with us. Thank you for having me. I feel like I was a million times weirder than the last time I did this

1:09:06a few years ago and I'm sorry but I really was great to see all of you. No you're the best. Yeah we it's so great to see you and thank you for hanging out with us. I'm sorry I called you an actor right we just want to say anything. I'm just really good actor. I am flattered. I was flattered that you said that. I'm just like I don't you know that's why you're a good actor though. Do you think yourself you know you are a comedian? Yeah. Like you don't you know you're taking yourself as seriously as the actor actors which I think is good. Come on. Yeah. Come on. I love working with actors who including the ones who take themselves seriously but I don't understand taking yourself seriously as an actor. I really when people are like talking about the process and the character I'm like I I memorize my lines and then I and then I asked the director how do you want me to do this? But I also I know people people who are much better at acting than I am are very

1:10:10actory about it and that's probably why they're better than me. No and not it's better than me. We all it all has it you know there's room for all of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well thank you so much and is there anything you want to shout out for people to follow or check out? I do have a podcast called Forehead Corner. Sorry I have an eyelash in my eye. I have a podcast called Forehead Corner. It's ridiculous. I can't even in good conscience help people to listen but it is good is out there. And also right now Coyote versus Acemi is still in theaters. Yes. Awesome. You're great. And it's thank you. It's a Will Forte and John Cena and Lana Lana Condor and Wiley Coyote and it's really fun hybrid animation live action. I'm dying to see it. I've heard it's incredible. It's awesome. I'm so excited it came out like after all that and yeah it means too. And it's you know there's so much I don't know it's one of those things I haven't seen yet but I know how great everyone is saying it is and just I'm just so excited there's so much great shit being made right now when when stuff is so so stupid so yeah so go see it go

1:11:14support it for sure. Yeah absolutely if you want to insight into the creative process go watch Coyote versus Acemi it really will. It's really fun. I'm going to see it tonight in the hell I know I can't wait to see it. Yeah. All right thank you. Thanks you guys. See you next time everybody. Bye bye. Three two three six but 30. It's six but 30 somewhere. Hey ladies I just listened to episode dirt food with Michelle. Love her. She's so fucking funny. You guys were talking about poop stories and we're trying to keep this a short as I can. I have two. The first one I was like 13 went to a Greek festival because I'm great with one of my friends tabby for us in peace tabby and we thought it would be so cool to wear songs for the first time and like wear these like pretty two two so we could dance around. They were hitting up for example the food you know and they had these chocolates. I think there was like prunes or something in them but within 20 minutes we were shitting ourselves and we were wearing songs in two two so the first time ever

1:12:18and I just remember running to the bathroom and having nothing to catch underneath us which was fucking terrible. It was terrible. Anyways next story that's forward. I was 18. Can you convince my mom letting by a hookah for the first time ever in Manchester at one of the malls in New Hampshire? Shout out to the ringwenders. Anyways somehow convinced her when my friends house me who goods for like eight hours we thought we were like the coolest thing ever and I shit my pants wearing rainforest cafe yoga pants. I got them in Disney World like I thought they were the coolest thing ever. They were like the yoga pants that had like the fold down waist with like Cheetah ended up throwing that shit away. It didn't hook up again for years later. I think we also talked about that in another episode. Anyways love you guys so much. Have a good time under two minutes hopefully. Bye Hey ladies. The important back story here is that I teach middle school choir and I'm breastfeeding a nine month old baby who does not sleep through the night. So last night I was having a

1:13:21dream where I was making copies in the copy room at school and one of my coworkers was in there who I never really talked to and realized and she looked at me and she was like oh my gosh do you like Taya and I was like oh my gosh I love Taya and she's like I have a song for you. It's from this podcast called Lady to Lady and I went oh my gosh you listen to Lady to Lady podcast and she goes yeah I do and so she was like well the song is like Paya a pen you made a pen cake or my friend. They were like singing it together in the copy room and I was like girl you are such a bath and she looked at me and she goes you are a test. Sorry Randy and then I woke up tonight baby crying and I said him and then when I got to sleep I sang him as much as I could remember of the Paya Pansong. Okay I love you ladies bye. Lady to ladies produced by Katie Louvain. Get tons of bonus content discounted tickets for live shows and lots more at patreon.com slash lady to lady. Follow us on Instagram at lady the number two lady comedy and give your

1:14:25input on lady problems and get info about upcoming live shows and hey don't forget to follow our individual accounts on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok at Babs Gray, Brandezzle and Testify Barker.