The Thing (1982)

I think one of the benefits of living in a post-lockdown era is that our time cooped up indoors has made us more sensitive to the dangers of cabin fever and the limits of a familial or friendly bond. You may love your child more than breathing, but there’s nothing like constant proximity to make you realize just how irritating the way they eat truly is. Unfortunately for the folks living in The Thing, the 1982 science fiction horror classic (based on The Thing from Another World which in turn was based on the short story Who Goes There? by John Campbell Jr.) directed by John Carpenter, their position in the Antarctic wastes in the dead of winter makes it much more difficult to go outside and unleash a cathartic scream of frustration. Compounding their tension is the tendency of their fellow man to be taken over by an alien parasite, transform into grotesque abominations that would make your average Resident Evil boss a bit queasy, and do their darndest to ensure you suffer the same fate. No amount of team building exercises and group movie nights can surmount that relationship hurdle, I’m afraid. Still, it’s not all loss because their suffering is our enjoyment, as The Thing frequently holds pride of place on rankings of Carpenters many achievements in the horror genre. This claustrophobic, paranoid creature feature is unbearably tense, never allowing viewers a moment’s peace, as who is human and who is a Geiger-esque explosion of limbs, slime, and teeth in waiting is always in question. The Thing is so well crafted that it even conquered Elliot’s natural cowardice and inspired him and his brother to talk about it for a bit in a recorded conversation that they felt compelled to transfer into cyberspace. Pull up a chair, then, and keep a wary eye on your housemates as we dive into today’s episode of Magellans at the Movies!