Needed to contact the AUTHORITIES about my NEPHEW'S ACQUAINTANCE when he arrived at

0:00I wish you enjoyed the tale. Needed to contact the authorities about my nephew's acquaintance when he arrived at my residence declaring affection and declining to depart. I reside independently with my 11-year-old daughter. Years old and a virtual stranger dropped by in our home unannounced. I looked by the camera and he was holding flowers and other stuff. So I figured this was just a dumb kid with my crush who thought he could woo an adult, but I asked him twice to please just leave and he wouldn't. Saying he just had to see me and that he needed to tell me how much he loves me. This included a gross comment about me being a single mom. I told him I was calling the cops and that's when he bolted. Cops later came, took my statement and just circled around to make sure he wasn't still nearby. I specified that yes he was just a kid, but I barely knew him and he had tracked down my house and wouldn't leave until threatened. He didn't commit a crime but the cops still dropped by his parents' house to give him a warning about not leaving private property when told to.

1:02I didn't ask the cops to do that. They just took the info I gave, I called my sister to find out his last name and who his parents were and just related that to the cops since they were asking. I just wanted to make sure he was gone. That visit they did was on them. His mom called me and she first apologized on behalf of her son if he made me feel unsafe but then told me I went way over the line by involving the cops and how teenage boys having crushes is nothing out of the ordinary. And how this could ruin his life and I should have remembered he's just a kid. To top it off my sister also told me I went over the top and how he's one of her son's good friends and that I should have called her when he wouldn't leave and she would have sorted it out. I went with my gut feeling and I don't regret it. Edit I'm 31, John is 16 and since I keep being asked about ages and I forgot to include it originally, I'm adding it now. I found out who the parents were after what happened a NDI barely knew him. We interacted a little bit in a big gathering.

2:02Commenter, where did that mom get your number? That would be my first question. Given the connection, it seems that your sister and nephew are way too liberal with your information. I would have a serious conversation with them about that before changing your number. Do change your number. Boop thought the sake of brevity, I summed up a lot of what happened afterwards. My sister messaged me and said the mom wanted to call me and apologize for what had happened in a sure she and her father wouldn't let it happen again. I told her yes for several reasons. One I genuinely thought she was ashamed of what happened and wanted to set things right. I wanted to make it clear that this could never happen again and I wanted to ask where this bizarre fixation came from and that as adults we could maybe fish out whatever negative influence affected that boy and could potentially affect my nephew since they're in the same friend group. I simply shared the relevant part which is her trying to guilt trip me for calling the cops. Commenter, the guilt trip makes me suspect that the mother has dealt with this issue in the past.

3:03It would be more normal to be embarrassed, confused, or even angry, but the focus on police feels like someone trying to avoid evidence of a pattern of behavior. Boop, the mom made sure to mention how he had never acted like this before and that he got the wrong idea from seeing how his brother treats his wife. Among other weak, random justifications. So she was definitely determined to brush this off and make me think this was a once in a lifetime major lapse in judgment. My sister has known the kid for years so I'm really hoping she was temporarily taken back and just put her foot in her mouth. She insisted my nephew didn't tell him how to find me and I told her that just made things worse and she agreed it was creepy he somehow tracked my house down. Come, enter, NTA. You did everything right. Exactly and perfectly right. Never doubt your gut. DM me if you need me to say that to you again. Screenshot this post so your sister and this kid's mom can see how extremely, thoroughly and completely wrong they are.

4:05A teen having a crush is 100% normal. A teen doxing a crush, finding her home, taking flowers over to the crush and refusing to leave is 100% abnormal. His mother needs to take this more seriously. Either the boy is untethered from reality in some normaish kind of way. Like if he's super young, under 12 years old, or he's verging on a real mental health issue, his mother needs to attend to this. Mom doesn't need to overreact, but she also can underreact. Take it seriously. Boop, he's 16 so not super young. Once he told me single moms need love, I don't think he's neurotypical, boop clarifies she meant neurotypical backslash, but instead had idiotic ideas about older, single women. From the impression I got when I met him, he's not neurotypical and his mom didn't mention it. Jesus, I haven't even thought about how now I need to tell my sister and nephew to never let him tag along. I'd hope they just stop associating with him.

5:08Commenter, NTA. Even if you didn't report it and later on he accused you of something. It's better to be safe than sorry. Boop, I thought about that as well. He was already deluded and no doubt would have tried to play that card if he could. Haven't spoken with my nephew since the whole situation is so uncomfortable but have spoken several times with my sister who says he was shocked and then angry. To another commenter, angry backslash, at his friend, or well that's what my sister is telling me. Apparently they've been close for years and my sister gets along well with his parents, so I'm worried my sister and nephew have the blinders on because to them, he's a family friend. That's pretty basic due procedure. Yeah, it's a kid but that makes it even a moe repridden to call law enforcement and not deal with him yourself. Update 1. So it turns out my nephew did give John my home address. My sister and my nephew stopped by my house and my sister basically brought him along so he could explain and apologize in person.

6:10John's mom complained to another one of the mommies in their group about how John's friends are the reason he did something inappropriate. My sister found out and got my nephew to confess. John apparently kept asking my nephew about me after the night I met him and told my nephew and their friends about his crush on me. My nephew and his friend's egg demand to ask me out. One of their friends asked my nephew when was the last time I had a boyfriend. My nephew answered without thinking and said two years. Then their little group told John he had nothing loose and how I'm probably wanting anybody to ask me out. My nephew emphasized how he didn't think John would actually do it and it was just a stupid dare and how they kept pressuring him to just give out my address so John could drop some flowers. And how John's stopping by my house was never talked about. My nephew kept saying sorry and how he didn't think this would turn into such a big deal. I was having none of that and let him have it. Telling him how handing out my address without asking to people I don't know was putting me and my daughter in danger.

7:12How he's old enough to know better. And how stupid and thoughtless he acted. I told him he would never how sit for me again because God forbid another one of his friends put a stupid idea on his head and that I can't really accept his apology because I don't even know if it's the truth. First, I was told he was shocked and angry at what John did and now I'm being told this was all a stupid prank between boys so I can't be sure on what to believe. When I was done with him, I asked my sister if she thought this time my nephew was telling the truth and she said this time he was. I then pointed out that T.S. still didn't excuse John at all for trespassing and refusing to leave my house when told him to so while I'm angry at my nephew for handing out my address. I still think there's something wrong with John. This time my sister didn't give me the boys will be boys crap and agreed and said she is bothered by how John's mom is still making excuses for him. I asked if at least now that kid has moved on and will leave me alone. My nephew said that from what he heard, John's dad put the fear of God into him so he likely

8:13will never bother me again. He still asks about me but my nephew has told him to drop it. So if nothing else, I can believe my nephew is angry at John for dragging him into this and getting him in trouble as well. So I don't think he's protecting his friend and trying to soften what happened. It's been over a month since I called the cops on John so I find the timing of this is weird and I feel both my sister and nephew know more but at least I found out how that boy knew where to find him and that he likely won't try the same stunt twice. That's enough for me. Commenter, he's still friends with him. Boop, no, but from what I can tell my nephew is more angry at getting ratted out than what John did which hurts. I'm sure, as a man my opinion may not be worth a whole lot but if I were you I'd never let your nephew near me again and if your sister has the slightest problem with it, she can bugger right off as well. Family clearly doesn't mean crap to him so he needs to be given the same treatment. Boop, already told my sister that. Not sure about the ever again part but for now I want him nowhere close to me and my home.

9:18Thankfully it's not that big of a change since it's not like we hang out every week. Commenter, he still asks about me that's worrying, boop, I know, but by this point I have no reason to ever give that boy the benefit of the doubt if he ever gets near me. And he and his parents know that. He'll be risking a rest, reigning order and getting the cops called on him with a much harsher report if he tries anything again. Commenter, does your daughter know this friend of nephews is to be stayed away from? And if she sees him she needs to tell you immediately? Does she have a phone? If yes, I'd check it and if you know his phone number block it on her phone. Hugs, boop, yes, yes, yes and thank you. Commenter, it's been way over a month since you called the cops on him. Your first post was two months ago and in that post you said a few months ago you went out to dinner with them and two weeks after that he showed up. If he's still asking about you this far out that is really kind of creepy. I'm glad your nephew came clean but it still wasn't cool of him to give out your address.

10:22In 16 year old boys can be big and dangerous, it doesn't matter the age. His mom needs to quit making excuses for him. It's giving you vibes. Boop, it is and I try to ask why he keeps asking about me and all my nephews could say were stupid teenage boy reasons that don't help at all. But the good thing about that is their friends know about it, my sister knows about it, his parents know about it and apparently even some other people in their social circle know. So there will be no shock or surprise if he tries something again and I report him for stalking and harassment. Commenter, what are the stupid teenage boy reasons? Boop, finds me attractive, thinks I'm exotic because I'm part Romanian which my sister and nephew are as well, and described me as a real woman. None of that is helpful which is why I dismissed it. I still care about my nephew so I'm somewhat glad a giant spotlight has been shined on him and his group of friends and their problematic beliefs. Probably he'll learn and grow from this.

11:22Now onto second story, wife horted over 70 animals, turning our suburban home into a chaotic, unsanitary mess, leading to divorce and potential custody loss. Its 6am and the roosters have been crowing nonstop for the last two hours in our sunroom adjacent to our bedroom. I'm now sitting in the basement as flies swarm around me and I've given up swatting them because there's too many to bother. The basement is the area of the house with the least amount of flies. On top of the rooster noise is the cackel of male quail that reside in our living room. They live in the base of three cages that are filled with budgies and cacatille. When I wake up I remember to put on my slippers and I hope I get to them before stepping in dog urine or fresh dog shit. Our carpet in our master bedroom is saturated in dog urine with many spots that haven't dried out yet. Yesterday, my wife bought our daughter a new tortoise and a frog. The tortoise will be added to the aquarium with our bearded dragon. The bearded dragon which is often is free to roam the house because my wife feels it

12:25will be happier. It is free to poop on our furniture or floor or where it was left out last. As I sit here in my basement, the one place where I do not allow any pets, I'm listening to a rabbit thumping its paws on the floor above me, or it's the sound of it biting and ripping apart our wall or furniture. I'm not sure which noise it is, but I don't care anymore. We have at least six rabbits. Their little claws make a loud scraping and tapping noise as they scurry and hop across our laminate floors. The main level of our home is littered in rabbit droppings. The droppings get pushed to the side as our four children and us inadvertently kick them around while walking through the main level of our home. The dogs won't likely get let out this morning to go the bathroom. The smaller dog doesn't even obey the command to go out anymore. He just stares at you confused by your directive. If he does go outside, he just comes back in to find a place to shit and pee in one of our bedrooms. Our backyard doesn't have much dog shit because it's mostly in our bedrooms.

13:28It will stay there for days on end because there is no expectation that it shouldn't be there. The new smell from the giant rug I bought for the basement has worn off. It smelled like glue and dye and it drowned out the odors from the dozen chicken that reside in our family and living room. They live in a couple 36 inch fabric pop-up enclosures filled with pine shavings. It is saturated with chicken shit and urine and has soaked into our oak hardwood floors permanently damaging them. The stenches are watering. We have a lot of feathered friends here. In our master bedroom are three more cages with a variety of exotic birds that sing loudly all day long and leave a permanent mess of seeds on the floor around the cages. They are free to roam and so our room has dropping along our bed's headboard, on our pillows, along the sides of the doors where they purge, in our bathroom mirrors and down our shower curtains. Our sunroom has 30 plus chickens and about 8 or 10 of them are roosters and the roosters crow all day. This is where the flies breed.

14:29They come in through the 40 year old sliding door that is often left open. This door separates the sunroom from our living area and our kitchen. The fly swarm and at any given time there are dozens of flies in our living space. The heat and humidity bake the sunroom floor which is covered in chicken shit and urine and the odor spreads through the house. Our house is in a suburban neighborhood. We do not live on a farm. In addition to these animals, we have two pet rats. They are sweet but as you would expect, their cage is not well maintained and it stinks 90% of the time. Our boys' room has a snake and axelol aquarium. One of our daughters has an algae covered fish aquarium that we fill with water whenever we hear the filter screech because the water evaporated too low. She also has an unkept cage with a hamster that is rarely played with. Right now I'm listening to the mice eat through the foam board insulation in my basement. I want tea to get rid of them but it's challenging with all the access to feed throughout

15:31the house. They seem to be breeding and entering through the home at a faster pace than they can be exterminated. I am not a pet person and this life is driving me nuts. My wife is a pet hoarder and has ADHD. Our backyard is a ghost town of quail cages from last year when she was really into quail breeding and we had over 150 living in our backyard. Now their remains broken and half built cages and mounds of shavings and wood chips that she intended to use as bedding. Scattered in random places in our backyard are household garbage bags of chicken shit. When you try to lift them they fall apart because they weigh 30 to 40 pounds and the bags have deteriorated from the sun. When challenged, she seems to delight in the frustration it causes me because she is not happy in our marriage. It seems that accumulating animals is bringing her little bits of dopamine with each acquisition. I'm tired of living like this and I don't know what to do. Our children think this behavior is acceptable and they often chide at me for not being on

16:31board with the animals. They say I'm not a pet person. It's true that I'm actually not a pet person. But what we have in going on here is irresponsible, unsanitary and illegal. This is pet cruelty and normalizing neglect of animals. People think this is a shit post but it's real. I'm not uploading pics for privacy, but it's genuine. I wrote it in this style just to express everything because it's distressing and aggravating and I haven't expressed it to anyone. I'm seriously asking for advice. It slipped out of control. The amount of pushback from my wife when I address the problems creates a lot of tension and distresses the children. She just keeps bringing home animals. The last time I threatened to re-home the chickens that she was keeping in the house, she became extremely angry and combative. She re-homed them but not after a slew of insults and claw. Iming I was being totally unreasonable. Then she just slips back into the same behaviors because she never believed it was a problem

17:33in the first place. We've had company come to our house but no one has called CPS or animal control yet. Seeing all these reactions has me realizing just how bad it is from an outside perspective and a CPS call is a serious possibility and that is terrifying. And edit some of you may remember my post-venting and looking for advice on what to do in regards to an extreme animal hoarding situation with my wife. Dozens of chickens residing in the home and a variety of animals roaming outside of cages in the home, feces, and a rampant mice infestation. After posting, I sought therapy and started getting my bearings straightened out. In the midst of setting firm boundaries and beginning the work to clean up literally two tons of chicken shit, sand, and pine shavings and resolving the rodent problem a call to CPS was made by a third party and an investigation ensued. Believe it or not by that time, much of the situation was resolved, animals re-homed, home cleaned and sanitized. Nothing came of the CPS investigation and it was pretty quickly closed out.

18:37However, the relationship was essentially permanently damaged as my wife continued to deny the problem was out of hand. Deep resentment developed towards each other. Fast forward nearly 12 months and my wife requested a divorce. We are now separated awaiting an official legal divorce. I have moved into a very nice home and have the kids 50 to 50. My physical and mental health has dramatically improved. My kids now have an organized and clean haven, they seem happy. It seems inevitable she may lose custody of the kids at some point altogether. I'm hoping she can keep things in check but due to the constant denial that there was a problem it will most likely repeat. I may have no choice but take steps to ensure the children's safety at some point further disrupting the children's lives from TH, their otherwise loving mother. Limitations on pet quantities and cleanliness standards are written into the divorce settlement agreement. By the way, wife has been in therapy for a couple years in the midst of the hoarding.

19:38I guess you could say the therapist was either not savvy to the situation or enabling to an irresponsible level. I'm leaning towards the latter. She became more and more emboldened that I was causing her problems as opposed to looking inward. Her therapist seemed to fuel the delusions as far as I could tell. Update 1 My soon to be ex-wife has a bit of an animal obsession but otherwise is a loving and attentive mother. We share 50 to 50 custody of four children. When we split up last year, I had worked really hard to get the house cleaned up, helped to re-home dozens of animals and eradicate a mice infestation before moving out. Since then, she has collected dozens of animals again and the home wreaks of animal urine. My oldest child has reported that the mice have returned. There is so much animal feed around the property and inside the home that wild mice have endless food supplies. The dogs are not potty trained and every caged animal cannot be cleaned regularly enough to keep the odors at bay.

20:39When I got the kids for the week, all their belongings, clothing had the strongest pungent odor of dirt and urine. My home is clean and smells fresh and the kids belongings made my whole house stink. Two of my kids are wearing the same clothes day and night for multiple days at a time. I called CPS based on my attorney's advice and I feel awful about it. It feels and looks vindictive even though that is not my intent, I feel like garbage and like I'm betraying my kids' mom's trust. I want to co-parent amicably and I feel like this will take away from that. At the same time, she has a problem that is interfering with raising our children in a safe and sanitary environment. Also, my kids love having all the animals. Granted they love them but they don't recognize THE amount of time and cost to properly care for them. They just like the excitement of having a bunch of pets slash animals. This is going to also strain my relationship with the kids to a degree. They don't realize that one.

21:39The animals cannot possibly be cared for adequately. Two, that they are going to school stinking to high heaven. Three, that the home is a health concern for them. Four, they see me as the mean dad that wants to take away all their precious animals which are a part of the family. Part of me is just scared of the MySTBXW. I think actually afraid for my safety LOL. I don't know if she knows yet and part of me wants to go over to her house and help her again clean up and tell her again to re-home the animals. I know this is not realistic as it was the primary source of our arguing in our home when we were together. I told her before moving out that I would always expect that her home be sanitary and not overrun by pets again but that I would be amicable and fair in our divorce process. Now it just feels like I'm being petty in the process of a difficult divorce even though logically it's not true but I can't help shake a yucky feeling about calling CPS.