Hung Jury: The Lindsey Clancy Case

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1:03It's one of the many new drinks out now. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire? Try them all only at McDonald's. Grocery recalls again? Bring peace of mind home with Garden. Garden is an indoor garden that grows fresh produce at home, year round. No pesticides, no chemicals, and no green thumb required. Garden makes it easy to grow food you can trust right in your home. More than 100,000 households already grow with Garden. When grocery recalls keep coming, bring produce home with Garden. Visit my g-a-r-d-y-n dot com. Garden, the produce you eat should never be a question mark. Welcome to Unspeakable, a true crime podcast where I tell stories of real crimes with real victims. Whose cases are so shocking that many are left wondering how is this even real?

2:10I use my experiences in law enforcement, corrections, and combine with my years as a criminal justice educator dig deep into complex cases of evil acts. Some so evil, many feel they are unspeakable. Warning, unspeakable is intended for mature audiences. If you are easily offended, then I'm not your girl. Hey y'all, KJ here back with another episode of Unspeakable. If you are watching me podcast right now, Gremlin Alert, I lost all of my makeup. I don't know how I did that, but ADHD will prevail. I lost my whole makeup bag. Here I am, guys. If you're watching me podcast, the wave of edges, sorry for the jump scare. I got a couple of shout outs I need to do real quick, and I'm going to go right down the road to Hammond, Louisiana.

3:10I've got Miss Tina Wagner hanging out in Hammond. What's going on, Tina? How are you doing over there? I actually have a lot of family in Hammond, and my daddy and everybody grew up in Hammond. So I bet we know some of the same people, and I just want to wave to you and say hello, and thank you so much for supporting me. And then I'm going to run a couple of states over to Alabama, Jasper, Alabama, to be exact. And that's where Miss Sherry, Cedar, is hanging out, and she's living and living her best life. So what's going on, Miss Sherry? I hope that you're having the time of your life this week. I know it's, I'm recording this on a Friday, and it's time, y'all. It's time for LSU football, Ole Miss. It's tomorrow from the time that I'm recording this, and I cannot wait. I'm so excited. But I have to listen to the people, and when y'all reach out to me, and y'all send me 4,000 emails about Lindsey Clancy, I've got to listen to what you say. So it's time, guys. It's time for me to tackle this monstrosity of a case, and so I will start out by telling you that this is the day.

4:11By telling you that this is going to be multiple parts, if you've followed this case, you'll know why and you will understand. If you haven't followed this case, and you don't like multiple parters, you've got to do it this way. If I'm going to tell a story, I'm going to do it the whole way through. Okay, so get ready. You have got your little series on your hands here, and I want you to take the viewpoint that I'm going to take as I tell the first episode. So I'm going to start with how it unfolded, and how it was initially reported to police, and then broken wide open. So if you think you know my angle, you probably don't. Maybe you do, but that's how I'm going to approach this case. So come with me. It is time, and we're going to head on to Plymouth, Massachusetts. Now Plymouth, if you've never been there, is a coastal town. It's south of Boston, and something I really like about that area is that it holds incredible historic value, because if you're, you know, paid attention to any history, less than ever, you've heard about Plymouth, and of course that's the site of the first Pilgrim settlement, and the famous Plymouth Rock is supposedly the spot that marks where settlers are believed to have come ashore, aboard the Mayflower, and that was back way back on December the 16th of 1620.

5:29But you got to think about those people and everything that they went through to compare it to where we are today, because that was an incredibly harsh journey, and that would result in the survival of only 52 people in that first year, which I don't know. I really just think about that, and how grave of a situation that they were in. And it's amazing, like I said to see how far we have come from such humble beginnings, but we fast forward like 400 something years, and just wow, man, look around. Look at what we've got going on, not only in Massachusetts, but in this country, and it's all thanks to those brave Pilgrims who set out to change lives. And so Massachusetts, it's certainly much different now, and yet it's still making headlines for those who choose to settle there, but in more current times. And of course, in this case, I'm talking about those settlers, Patrick and Lindsey Clancy. But let's back up, and let's start from the beginning, and I don't mean the 1600s, okay?

6:31I simply mean in regards to this case, because I just, I don't have the time to go back to the 1600s. But this one's going to start with the birth of Lindsey Marie Musgrove, and that was on August 11th of 1990. Now parents Michael and Paula, they were over the moon at the site of their precious baby girl, and when it was all said and done, they would have two girls. But Lindsey and her sister Allison would grow up in a wonderful home, full of love, full of support. The neighbors and friends alike all agree that the Musgroves were good people, regular middle class folks who worked hard, and who loved their kids fiercely. The neighborhood that they chose to raise their girls in was also an idyllic one. One that we probably all think back on to be honest, no matter what your situation was, you know, growing up. I don't think sometimes if we were poor, we didn't know it, and I say that with all the humbleness in my heart, because I didn't know that we weren't rich growing up.

7:37I thought we had everything we were supposed to have, and these people were much the same. They had a modest 1800 square foot home with good bones, and they would make great memories within those walls. But I just know wonder that their daughters excelled in life because they were proud products of a bloodline where their papa earnest was a World War II veteran. And a bloodline like that is one that's going to teach perseverance and work ethic, and the idea that you do not have to be financially rich in life so much as rich in family. And I wanted to learn that when you're young, but as you grow up, you can really appreciate when those values are what are instilled in you. And a family was something that Lindsay always dreamed of having one day. In high school, she was considered a friendly teen who classmates saw as outgoing and upbeat, more on the, I would say, kind of modest calm side based on things that I read.

8:40But she was your average girl at Lyman High School. She had cheerleading and health care that stood out as her biggest interests and gymnastics also took up a great deal of her time in those days. So the neighbors would look out, and they would often see her tumbling in the front yard, riding bikes with the other kids in the neighborhood. They would play kickball in the yard for fun. But competition, that was within her. Okay, and she competed on a team with the CT cheer and dance company. And she wasn't just a girly girl. This was a sport that took practice, and it really did take a lot of athletic ability to accomplish the things that she did. She also played volleyball. She took part in the powder puff football game, her senior year, I know from my experience in high school and teaching these kids they love that type of stuff. And she just lends a liked competition regardless of the type or where it was taking place.

9:40And her grades were equally as important to her. She was an honor student. She was a member of the National Honor Society. And really leaning into her interest in health care, she would also join her school's HOSA chapter, that's HOSA. And that's an organization for those who are hoping to make a career in health care as they graduate high school and they move on. So she would get to as part of that group, she would get to travel, and she would get clinical hours at a local nursing home as part of the curriculum in their chapter. And she just loved this. She thought it was great, and she ate up the opportunity and the adventure in the health care world. So I went to a pawn graduation from high school that was in 2008. Lindsey decided to fully pursue her interests in medicine. And this was specifically going to be in the field of nursing. So is she enrolled in college at, and I read this as Quinnipiac University in Hamden.

10:42I've heard it pronounced another way, but forget my ignorance if I didn't say that correctly. But that is where she went to school. And during her sophomore year, the college did something kind of cool. They launched this varsity competitive cheer team, and she joined it. And this was like a new thing there. She joined it, and she worked really hard to compete with her squad. So she was busy, she was driven in all of her college activities. And one of her posts that were made, a teammate was bragging on her, and the role that she played in the club, saying that Lindsey was selfless, attentive, thoughtful. And very much a trustworthy individual. And as you can guess, Lindsey did great. She would eventually graduate with a degree in biology, and that was in 2012 before she enrolled in a rigorous accelerated nursing program through the Massachusetts General Hospital.

11:42And I think that's just a testament to all of her upbringing and her young adulthood, and that people really echoed the same things about her over and over and over again as far as that part of her life was concerned. And this made her parents so incredibly proud as she excelled in most everything that she put her mind to. And in just a few short more years, Lindsey earned her nursing degree from the MGH Institute of Health Professions in Boston, and would land her dream job as a labor and delivery nurse at Massachusetts General Hospital. Everything I tell you right now is pointing to the fact that her life was on track, and that she was blazing a path for a successful future. So not only were things going right in terms of her education, but she had also met someone who had become very special to her in that time frame. Lindsey had a roommate when she was in college, and that roommate was meeting up with her cousin, and this was in May of 2013.

12:47They were going to go to Boston and meet up, and Lindsey was along for that outing. And this casual encounter would prove quite life changing in this story because that cousin's name of her roommate was Patrick, the infamous Patrick Clancy that we've all heard about in the news. And when the two of them met, they felt a little spark. Both of them did. They lay eyes on each other, and they were like, hmm, this person's pretty interesting. So they would introduce themselves, and one conversation led to another, which left the two of them wanting to get to know each other even more. And what Lindsey would learn about Patrick was that he was a pretty chill dude, and he was really interested in the tech world. He was a rather unassuming guy, not very large. He's looking at, I mean, he's not a big, big guy. He's soft-spoken, and he was on the calmer side of things. She learned that he had two sisters, and he had a, I mean, just love affair with the world of sailing.

13:53He loved doing that out on the water. That was the place that he loved to be, the wind and his hair, the sun reflecting off of the water. Matter of fact, Patrick was such an avid sailor that he took every opportunity back in those early days to enjoy an outing. And as far as college went, he had attended Salvergina University, which is located about an hour and a half south of Newport, Rhode Island. So those two sisters that I mentioned that he had, one of those sisters was hanging out with that cousin, who I mentioned that originally introduced him to Lindsey. So you can kind of see how they were moving in these similar groups. So Patrick and Lindsey's dating life was a traditional one, you know, filled with ups and downs, but definite devotion to one another. And he felt like Lindsey was different. He loved her, and they would date for two years before going to the next level, which for them was going to be moving in together.

14:57And this was in September of 2015. And on New Year's Eve of 2015, during all of the partying and the celebration, Patrick had a secret. And this is a true crime podcast, y'all, but this is not a bad secret. This is a good one. He had a diamond ring in his pocket, and he was waiting for the perfect moment when he got down on one knee, and he asked those words that every girl dreams of hearing about one day. Will you marry me? And she was beyond excited. And of course the answer was yes, yes, yes, I will marry you, you know. They spent the last two years dating. They loved one another. They hugged and they kissed with excitement. Both of them just smiling ear to ear with the wonder about what the future would hold for them as a married couple and husband and wife. Lindsey was also just tickled at the perfect round diamond that he had placed on her left hand. It was perfect. It was everything that she dreamed of and the fireworks went off, the ball dropped, and it was now 2016.

16:05The year where two strangers would now become one. Lindsey was that blushing bride that I say many of us because I'm a woman. You know, I went through this with my husband and you're just so excited that someone loves you and wants to commit to you and that you're going to build that family. And so she went online and she made a registry and she wrote her version of their love story and I found it. So I was going to read it to you exactly how she wrote it. And she said it all started in the fine town of South Boston through his cousin and sister Pat knew Lindsey was a special girl and only wanted to spend more time with her. Lindsey secretly had a big crush on Pat too. When Pat finally built up the courage, our first date was at 75 on Liberty on the third of July. It was 95 degrees, but we didn't care. We had so much fun and we have had fun ever since on December 31st, 2015 Pat took Lindsey back to where it all started 75 on Liberty.

17:08We had a great dinner. We went for a nice walk on that winter night and then Pat got down on one knee to propose under the skyline in Boston's seaport. We've enjoyed spending time together mostly between Boston, Connecticut and Newport. As beautiful as those areas are, we always look forward to seeing our friends and family more than anything. We can't wait to see them all together at our wedding. And there were pictures that were posted and she was just in the moment. And in December of that year, the officiate would pronounce them man and wife presenting them to the wedding goers for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Clancy. So they settled into their home and within three months of that wedding, the Clancy party of two was announced to now be the Clancy party of three. It did not take them long to get to business and then to announce that a little one was on the way and the excitement when they realized that this was going to be a baby girl.

18:14It was perfect. Everything was perfect. Little Miss Kora Clancy would make her big entrance into the world on December 24th, 2017 Christmas Eve. And what a Christmas gift to be given. It was like something out of a movie guys to wake up on Christmas morning and be holding your little one day old baby girl. You couldn't write this any better. You couldn't make this up. It was perfection. This must have been how Mary felt, you know, gazing into the eyes of Newborn Jesus. The whole world is in your hands. Completely dependent on you, although strangers yourself. You don't know this baby. You just matter. You may have growner, but this is it. It's new. Hello little one. I'm your mommy. And this is your daddy. And for a moment, the world was perfect. But just hours before her birth and before they were in love holding this little girl, things had been quite less calm and much more intense than Christmas day would remember or probably give credit for because when labor had begun and when it progressed, there was no time for an epidural.

19:32And so Lindsay would feel every single labor pain. She would have to push with all of her might yelling out at times and immense pain, her skin tearing in the most sensitive of areas, but she continued to push and she powered through unimaginable pain with nothing to quell it. And it's funny how quickly we women forget the traumas of birth once that little face comes out and looks at hours because it's just all worth it. Every cry, every tear, every vomiting session, every stitch, every burning pain, all of it, every ounce of it. So incredibly worth it. And I can prove this to you because we continue to have more children despite how painful birth can be when they brought baby Kora home, everyone showed up to look at her and give their unsolicited advice as most people do, but it was just pure magic.

20:38By this point, Lindsay had been working as a labor and delivery nurse for a few years and she had seen so many women give birth. She had helped so many people make their own families and now it was her turn to be home with her little one and soaking up all of the newness and the love and the smell of baby powder and milk breath and even the dirty diapers and the clean clothes and the warm blankets. There was a learning curve as with any new first time mom is going to encounter but they worked it out and they got into a groove and before she was even ready, her maternity leave was over. And Lindsay expressed that she was very apprehensive about returning to work and what seemed to be just such a quick turnaround. She wasn't ready yet, her baby was still new. She needed her and her baby needed her mommy but it was just something that she was going to have to do. All of us mothers, we have to make that transition and it is hard.

21:44It's unnatural to want to just hand your baby over to someone else to watch them but we do it. And Lindsay would just the same, she would work through her anxiety, she would get back to work at that hospital in labor and delivery. And little Korra as the days in the months are passing, she would grow. She would eventually come into her own little personality as two years would just pass in the blink of an eye. It's a funny thing to see how quickly those little babies with not much to them become their own little personalities. And Korra was a funny thing with her brown hair always up in a pretty little bow and look in the south. Okay, we like our big bows. I'm a fan of a big bow on a baby's head are saying around here is the bigger the bow the closer to Jesus. And you know what? Even bonus points for having it monogrammed with your baby's initials. That's down here though. I know that's not everywhere. I didn't actually realize that till I had my own children. That's a local thing.

22:46But Miss Korra, despite whatever was was common in the area where she was growing up. I can tell you that she was always well dressed and every bit the cutie pie you would expect her to be. She had her mama's narrow eyes and this little girl loved to laugh. She loved to play. And if you asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she was very quick to answer. There was no question on her little two year old mind. She wanted to be a doctor and a mama. She had it all planned out and she was well on her way to being a good little mama too because y'all she had two baby dolls that depended on her baby dolls Caroline and Charlotte. She had to take care of those two. She would swaddle them up. She would make sure that their bottles and their diaper bags were filled to the brim. No mind if something fell out when she was running along with her bags. It's okay. It was always overflowing but that's okay. She was taking care of those babies.

23:52So just imagine the excitement and the joy when her mommy and her daddy sat her down and let her know that not only was she a good mama to her baby dolls but she was going to be getting her own real life baby one of her own and it was going to be a baby brother. She was so excited she couldn't even handle it. Kora. Kora had there was so much for her to do. She had to tell her baby dolls all about it. She had to find some toys on the floor in her room somewhere. She was sure she had those and this baby would need a bed too. She was going to have to get this all figured out. Mama, he can sleep with me if he needs to. He can sleep with me. And Lindsay said no baby. He's going to sleep in a crib. He's going to sleep in his own crib. He's got to be safe. But you're going to love him and you're going to help take care of him. And little Kora said, oh okay, okay, I understand but can I still hold him mama. And Lindsay said, of course you're his big sister. He needs you. And Kora just why do I look back? Me? I'm going to be a real big sister. Wow. Wow. She couldn't wait.

25:09And she wouldn't have to wait long either because y'all there's only nine months later. And little baby Dawson came into the world. He was born on September the 30th of 2019. Patrick and Lindsay were now the parents of a two year old girl and a newborn. But the luck of having a boy and a girl. One of each right there. Right there. The love, the excitement and the just building of a beautiful family was just laying out like a storybook. And little Mr. Dawson was everything that this family wanted. And he was everything that they needed from the jump. This little dude was a ball of energy. And he looked more like his daddy with every single passing day, the brown hair and the chubby cheeks. My God y'all the chubby cheeks. The he continued to grow and like I said, he would just kind of grow into his own, looking like a little man. And by the age of two, he had his first set of little baby teeth. They had grown in and they still had that tiny little gap between each one that babies get Miss Kora, you know, she's four years old now. And Dawson is two. But you better watch yourself.

26:26Because if Paw Patrol was on and Chase was on the case, so was Detective Dawson. He was sitting on the floor. He was surrounded by his dinosaurs. And he had those fire trucks. His imagination was running wild. And if only in that little mind, if only he could get inside the TV and he could go on the adventures for real with the real Paw Patrol. Wow, man, that would be so cool. Kora, she likely would not have had time to be down with all of that because she was very protective of her baby brother Dawson. From the moment that he had been born, she was instantly in love. And as far as she was concerned, Dawson was her baby. And that was her responsibility to keep him safe. She was always using her little play doctor supplies to ensure that Dawson was okay. She would give him checkups all the time. She took her job seriously guys.

27:30What she was checking for exactly, she really actually didn't know, but guess what? That baby was checking her baby brother. If he fell and he got a boo boo, she was right there to bend down and give it a little kiss. And he was always, always invited to her tea parties. What a lucky guy he was. She could pretend to be Sophia the first, the best princess ever. And Dawson, well, he could be a worker man. That's what he liked to call it. He could be one of his own little worker mans in his mind. This meant that he was a construction worker or a fireman, the proverbial cool guy as far as a two year old boy was concerned. While parenting was hard, okay, the family made the adjustments as far as schedules and work and daycare and all of that was concerned. They had to make changes, but they got into a rhythm. And the days just continued to fly by. There was spring, summer, winter, and fall. All of the seasons just going past like pictures flashing up on a screen.

28:38The seasons would change as with the clothing, but the smiles stayed the same. Lindsay was feeling fulfilled at work as this labor and delivery nurse with more experience and more experience and work. As the days go by and she was a nurse that truly believed in her role with regard to patients needs. While some patients think that a nurse's job is to kiss their ass, it's not true guys, right? Their job is to save your ass, not for you, not to kiss yours. But Lindsay was a nurse that was willing to go above and beyond for those that were just in need. Her skills, and this is just undeniable by her work ethic, the people that worked with her, her being looked at by her supervisors, her skills were impeccable. She was considered a reliable nurse and patient care was something that she was deeply, deeply passionate about advocacy. That was something that she was very, very in tune with.

29:50She would speak up and she would help patients who maybe even sometimes didn't realize that they needed things. They didn't even realize that there were services even available for some of the issues or problems that they were having that she would bring it up. She would say, look, these are available to you. These can benefit you. Her emotions were ones that were worn on her sleeve and her co-workers would often see her tear up. She would even cry with her patients as they gave birth. She was just very moved by each new life that was born, the beauty of birth. She was built for this job. She took it serious. At the end of the day, Lindsay would come home to her own house. She would wrap her babies up in her arms tightly. She would shower them with love and hugs and kisses. The weekends were often spent on small family outings, things that were kid-centered activities.

30:50If you're not picking up on what I'm laying down here, it was huge to the Clancy Clan. They were tight with their grandparents and seeing family. That was a constant. They would go out to museums together. They would take walks. They would play at the park. They would do the simple things that mean so much when a child is little in the home. Let's talk about their house. It was decorated in a way that you just knew. You knew when you walked in that their kids were the center of their world. Pictures and coloring pages that Corrid drew as well as Dawson too. Her pictures would be more princess-based while Dawson's would often show the working men doing the hero things. He'd spray water in his pictures and they'd be putting out fires. Everybody was working hard. Lindsay would even make collages of the kids each year. She would like to put where they were in their life in a collage.

31:53They would hang these pictures about the walls. Structure. That was something very important to Lindsay and Patrick agreed with Lindsay's guidance as their mother. What they ate mattered incredibly to Lindsay. She was very meticulous about what her children ate, how much they ate, that she wanted to make sure they were well-rounded, giving fruits and veggies. She would prepare their meals with care and with purpose. She would cut the small bites because she wanted to make sure they wouldn't choke. She also made sure they were clean. They were dressed appropriately for the weather. They would have warm jackets and hats in the winter but classy, fun clothing for whenever they would go to church. Patrick worked a lot, guys. He would work from home at times. That was a pretty cool luxury that he had. Although he was required to travel from time to time in his position, he was always there to help with the baths and with playtime.

32:54Maybe Mama would get a little aggravated with this one but he would even egg Dawson on whenever he would get into toddler trouble because Patrick just thought it was funny. He was tickled at the shenanigans that his boy would come up with and at two years old Dawson was rambunctious and he was a wild man. He was crazy. But daddy was proud of his dude. He loved that spirit about him and that wild nature that he had. So Lindsay and Patrick would decide together that Lindsay was going to cut down on her hours at work because she wanted to spend more time with her own kids. And Patrick maintained his workload and providing for the family as is expected of the dad. And so Patrick listened when Lindsay was talking and he knew he knew that the night shift, which is what Lindsay worked, was difficult on her because she wouldn't get to see the kids as much if she stayed on her nose. And so she stayed on her night shift. The kids would have to be watched by somebody during the day if not going to daycare and then because she would have to sleep during the day and she would have to be at work during the night.

34:02So it just wasn't working out for her and the role she envisioned for herself as a mother. How do you mother little ones when you're gone at night and you're asleep during the day? Well, a lot of moms do this too and don't be screaming at me right now if you work night shifts. I'm not saying that you're being any less of a parent. Don't you dare take it that way. You are providing for your children. I'm recognizing right now though that every family has different dynamics and different setups. And for this family, it just it just wasn't working for them. Co-workers even commented that you know Lindsay would be at her shift at night, but they would see her get on her phone and she would log into their cameras at home because she just wanted to check in on the kids and see what they were doing. She was attentive and warm and this was even when she was actually not with them that she still wanted to be involved in what they were doing. But mainly Lindsay wanted to be at home with the kids. And that's why after some talking, the Clancy family knew that the change that would work best for them was for Lindsay's working schedule to be changed and pretty pretty dramatically here.

35:15So the main change took place when Coro was born. Lindsay went part time after that point. When Dawson was born, that's when the change was realized that this would be more permanent. So being without the kids was just something that Lindsay was not willing to do nor negotiate. But that was when another big surprise would be announced. Lindsay was pregnant again. She had always wanted this large family and it was looking like they were making this happen. The excitement. It just doesn't go away. I don't care if it's your first kid or your 50th. You're still just super excited when you learn that you're growing another life and to find out that this would be another baby boy. Patrick was excited of course. And what would his name be? There's a lot that people put into names. They discussed it and they talked it over when they finally decided that they would settle on the name, Callin.

36:18And this name stems from the old Irish name, Cathal, I believe is how you would say it. And that's going to combine, Kath, which is battle and ball, which means rule or mighty. And this gives it the overall meaning together as battle ruler or strong in battle. So while the name was picked, the upcoming birth was bringing about anxiety in Lindsay. And you have to think about why? Why was she feeling such such angst? And if we're looking backwards in time, chorus birth had been very painful and traumatic to her. And then when Dawson was born, it was arguably even more difficult, more traumatic whenever she was giving birth to him. So even after the children were home and they were well, Lindsay was feeling anxiety for, I guess you could say unknown reasons for this new baby that was to be born.

37:19But it seemed to be because of what she had gone through giving birth to the first two, but she was going to do things to try and get rid of these feelings, lifestyle changes and coping strategies where things that Lindsay would employ to try to relax, things like exercising more, meditation, journaling, things that are supposed to calm the soul and try to help you relax. So with the near birth of their third child happening very soon, Lindsay was doing what she could and doing the things that she felt like she could control to try and prepare for any adverse emotions that may come after the birth of this third child. And with all of this in mind, the diapers were bought, the baby clothes were washed and folded and they were ready to go. Corra was anxiously awaiting for her new baby to be born. She had so many things to prepare for right because she's now going to be the big sister of two, two baby brothers.

38:20And when Callan made his entrance into the world on May 26th of 2022, everyone was back all up in their fields again. He was a handsome little dude and strong, a strong, healthy boy just like his name said that he would be and he looked so much like his older brother Dawson. These parents definitely had put their mark on their little ones and for now the family just felt complete. After a few days in the hospital, they were released and they returned home to start their lives together now as a family of five. And something I know this again is not about me, but you can't help but think about what your experiences have been when you're listening to these stories. And something I remember that stressed me out big time after I had my own third child was that I realized in that instance that I didn't have enough hands for my kids at one time if there was an emergency. And for a long time, I, not Lindsay, I'm talking about me, I had dreams of being in water or flood water and not being able to grab all of my babies and hold them and it would terrify me.

39:31It would wake me up and when I would wake up in the middle of the night and catch my breath, I couldn't shake it for a while. I even googled what that dream meant at one point because I was trying to understand what was I thinking, what was making me do this to myself. And it told me that dreams about being in water and struggling to hold your children usually means that you're feeling emotionally overwhelmed and you're stretched to thin by your daily responsibilities. At least that's what your emotions are telling you that the water meant that you were having hidden feelings and deep emotions. So if the water was rough, you're carrying a heavy mental load or you feel stressed and when you're adding your children to that, your kids are representing the things that you care about the most and they show your deepest duties and devotion to your protection of them and then not being able to hold them all shows a fear of failing. It's about you. It means that you feel like you can't control every problem or everyone and their safety needs.

40:34And so I want to just give you that insight. I was going to just, I guess, have a vulnerable moment and let you know that I felt those things. And so maybe all moms go through this phase of doubt or fear. Maybe you didn't. Maybe you're lucky. But no matter if you're feeling fear or not, the good news is that things get easier with time. You learn to adjust and to adapt and to make the changes were necessary and you learn that nothing is impossible. You just haven't done it yet. You got to work through these things. And Lindsay and Patrick were no different in this regard. Lindsay would spend her maternity leave caring for the children bonding with the new baby. And the good news guys is that they had a lovely place for these kids to grow up and call home. This house was charming. It was an older two story home in a neighborhood painted a classic neutral kind of blue gray with dark gray shingles that had white trim. And to me, it looks somewhat like a barn shape, but from what I understand because, look, I don't know everything.

41:40I kind of wanted to research it a bit more. I understand this now to be a traditional New England Cape Cod look for their homes. Because I couldn't understand why I was saying barn and nobody else was seeing that. But I get it. It's just because of where I come from. It was landscaped. It was surrounded by these mature trees. And it has this nice paved driveway that goes straight up to the garage with a large white traditional garage door. Kelly, why are you explaining what a freaking house looks like? Because it's going to matter. Now, once you have visualized it, I want you to be able to see it. Now, the house had three floors technically, although looking at it from the road, it does not appear that way. But there was the main level. Then there was an upstairs. And then there was a basement. So if you drove up the driveway and you parked and you got all the kids out and you're in the garage, you would enter this home to the left. So you would open up the door from the garage. And it would take you into what I would refer to as like a keeping area, just like a small narrow entryway. There was room for maybe a recliner, maybe a table against the wall, a narrow one to hold maybe décor, put your keys down, stuff like that.

42:48And then on the other side, there was a double door, double sliding glass door that you would open. And you could go out to the backyard patio. There was like a deck there, which you could sit on and overlook the backyard. But if you continued forward through that keeping area, it then opened directly into a kitchen. And there was also a table and a seating area right there. And if you went straight through the kitchen, it went into a living room, like a general living room type of area. Now if you go up the stairs, that's where all the bedrooms were, the master bedroom and the children's rooms and the bathrooms. And then if you went down the stairs, you were in the basement. And that basement was a pretty large area. And the clansies would use this for multiple things. So if you were walking down the stairs yourself, as you go down and you descend, if you look to your left, there was an open area with a couch. And this was also doubling as a play area for the kids, a workout space for Lindsay.

43:52But if you look to your right, there was a room that was built within the basement. And they created this so Patrick could use it as a work from home area. So in essence, this was his home office. So Patrick could work from the house. He could help out if there were any needs, you know, here and there while he was working as Lindsay was recovering and all the children were at home. So Lindsay would have 12 weeks of maternity leave, which she was thankful for. But as the days got fewer and going back to work became a reality again after this third child, Lindsay was feeling extremely anxious about leaving all of the kids. She told Patrick about this. She brought it up. And he really tried to encourage her. He said, look, you know, we've got to relax. We've got to work through this. You're having a lot of emotions. I'm listening to you. I understand that. This is where the parents, you know, we've got to take care of our kids. This is what everybody does.

44:54You've been through this before. You've had some coping skills that you've used. And maybe we need to reapply those. Maybe we need to go back to the drawing board and really work through this. And so Lindsay listened. And she agreed. And she tried to do as she had done before. But the anxiety was not subsiding. If anything, she kept saying that she felt like things were getting worse, that it was increasing, that she was not able to really grapple and get a hold of her emotions. So Korra and Dawson, at this point in the story, they're now at an age where daycare was a good thing. And although Lindsay was a mom who would read to them and do crafts with them, they needed more. And truth be told, Lindsay was kind of needing a bit less. So talking it over with Patrick, it was decided that they were going to enroll the children in this precious little learning center called learning sprouts.

45:57And I think that's a sweet name. Whoever came up with that kudos to you, learning sprouts. And this was a daycare, really, but they did have structure and they had activities for the kids, coloring, playtime. Not to mention the socialization with other children learning to share and how to walk in a line and some mild learning your numbers and your colors. And of course snacks, snack times great, right? And the kids did relatively well in this newer adventure in life. And the teachers really took to them. They really got to know their students or their kids as we would say as a teacher myself, right? These are our kids, even if they're not technically hours. Miss Susan, she was Dawson's teacher and she loved his little rambunctious self. He was a silly dude. He loved to play. He was a goober. Okay, it's a good thing. He was just a wild man. But he sure did struggle at drop off time in the morning. He wanted to stay with his mama. And when they would take his hand and they would lead him back to the room, he was just pitiful looking back and kind of throwing a little fit.

47:05He wanted mama. And the thought of not having her all day with him was something that he just didn't want to do. He was only two years old, y'all. He was a tough guy when he was out with the Paw Patrol and he was in his imagination and doing what the guys do. But in real life, he wanted his mama. He wanted her with him. And the teachers recognized that this was very difficult for him. And so they would give him extra love, give him extra hugs to make it a little easier on him. After all, guys, there were some pretty cool fire trucks in his classroom. And those were always something that he would run to if they could just get his mind off of his mommy and into the classroom. A little Miss Cora. She did better at this. Okay. She walked in like she owned the place, but she was a big sister after all. And so she had to show Dawson how it was done. She would walk to her classroom, find her some colors, sit down, and she would draw a picture for her mama and her daddy because this was necessary because they would love it.

48:10They loved when she would present her pictures that she made for them when they came back to get her. She knew they were coming back. They would always come back and they would get her so she would work really hard on those drawings for them. And when she was done with her coloring, she would take a shift in the baby doll area, tending to their every needs and ensuring that those baby dolls stayed quiet. It's hard being a four-year-old mama, y'all, but somebody's got to do it. And Cora was about to turn five. She was very close. And legend has it. I can't confirm or deny this, guys. But legend has it that those baby dolls that Cora took care of were some of the best cared for and least likely to cry baby dolls that side of the Kate-Cod Canal. Don't trust me on this. Look it up yourself. But that was the word on the street. Back at home, Lindsay was continuing to care for baby Callin. She didn't send him to daycare like the other two because she was really worried about illness especially for a newer baby.

49:12And she really believed that breastfeeding was a necessity and that was a huge component in her ability to bond with her children. But with that in mind, she was troubled because Callin wasn't wanting to take a bottle well. Okay, well why you just said she wanted to breastfeed, what does a bottle have to do with it? Well, Lindsay was starting to be in the process of transitioning him from breast to bottle because she was taking medications and some of those medications she did not want to breastfeed while she was taking those. And in the weeks since giving birth, Lindsay had become pretty vocal with her friends and with Patrick as well as her own parents that she was just not feeling herself. Her anxiety was still through the roof and it was so bad that she wasn't sleeping well at all. She felt like she was in a fog and that she was just running on fumes really.

50:13But you know, being a mom that a new mom is exhausting and then added the fact that you have other children, I think many people could relate to the fact that you're exhausted and that kids in general are exhausting whenever they're young. But nonetheless, Lindsay was powering through her Facebook filled with photos of the kids and their moments that she wanted to memorialize and that she wanted to share with other people, vacation photos, just being a proud mama and hugging on the babies, outings with the family and Patrick and just even the mundane at times, like all of our Facebook's just full of our our proud moments. Their family looked to be perfect to anyone who was watching. But oftentimes what we see on social media is but a flash of reality. The highlights and the what I'll call on stage moments that we choose to present to the world.

51:13People don't usually jump to sharing their most intimate struggles or their issues for the world. We don't put that out on display. And behind closed doors was a storm that was brewing but very few realized it would be so dangerous. And for now, everything looked normal. The children were at home, the family was together and life was moving forward as if tomorrow was guaranteed. But behind that ordinary facade, something was changing. A storm was brewing and no one seemed to see the clouds or hear the approaching thunder, not because they were missing it or because they were not paying attention. Everyone would go to sleep one night believing that there would be another ordinary morning. But the clock was quietly counting down to something that no one could ever imagine.

52:14And next week when I give you part two, the terror and the screaming won't be outdoors where all hell breaks loose in a storm. And that's because the real danger, well it had already made its way inside. Welcome to Unspeakable, a true crime podcast where I tell stories of real crimes with real victims whose cases are so shocking that many are left wondering how is this even real? I use my experiences in law enforcement, corrections and combined with my years as a criminal justice educator dig deep into complex cases of evil acts. Some so evil, many feel they are unspeakable.