How to Honor Your Wife: Use Words Wisely

by David Chadwick

"Those are just words," people sometimes say dismissively. They are trying to state how unimportant another person's perspective or opinion is. They are saying words don't really matter. But they are wrong. Dead wrong. Words are important. They were God's idea. He invented words. They come from his heart. They express ideas, feelings, and insights. Try having an intimate, meaningful human relationship without words. It's impossible. Even the hearing-impaired have hand signals—a way to "hear" and express words from and to another.

When God wanted to show his character, "the Word became flesh and dwelt among us" (John 1:14). He incarnated "the Word" to express himself to our world.

Words can inflame. People have used words to slander others and cause enormous personal harm to them. History shows that before you can commit genocide you must negatively caricature people, even entire ethnic groups, with negative words.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" simply isn't true. It may seem like a clever phrase to utter in a moment of ostensible courage. But it's simply not true. In fact, it's a lie. Words do hurt. It is written in Proverbs 18:21, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." What wisdom! Words give either life or death.

Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." One single word can prevent or cause all kinds of negative or positive emotions to occur.

Jesus had this to say about our words in Matthew 12:36: "I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." Jesus knew that a person's words reflect their inner character, which will be revealed on judgment day.

In James 3, the writer points out the extraordinary danger of words spoken from the tongue. Words can be like a tiny spark that sets an entire forest ablaze. Humanity has been able to bridle the strongest animals on earth, but not this tiny instrument in our mouths called the tongue. From it, sometimes simultaneously, pours forth praises to God and criticisms of people he created in his image. How incongruous!

Can any thinking person deny the power of words? I don't think so. Therefore, use words with your wife wisely. Use words that edify, encourage, build up, give hope, and help her live on mission for all that God has called her to be.

This series is adapted from David Chadwick's book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!