Giving Someone a Hug Is Better Than Medicine!

0:00Welcome to the Carey Abbott Show, your place for news, views and values you can trust, and relationship insights you need. Now here's Carey Abbott. So good to be with you friends. Welcome to the Carey Abbott Show. It's great to have you as part of our listening community. Wouldn't it be great if we could see each other in person? And as my producer and I were just discussing many of us who are feeling great about life and love people would likely be hugging each other. You see that at church a lot, you see it with families and friends. And it's such an important part of connecting and yet there aren't enough hugs going on. And sometimes I forget to hug my spouse. My wonderful husband, Greg Abbott, who's a hugger. And I have to remind myself, stop doing what you're doing to make sure to go over and hug him. What I want to is that I get caught up in other things.

1:00And you realize different personalities respond to other people in different ways. But we've gone through a season and years actually where we were told to distance ourselves from people. And you still see the residue of that and the way people act and respond. Maybe it's mostly with strangers. But I can tell you that the research on hugging is so fabulous and on personal touch. And of course, let me just clarify this right up front, appropriate personal touch. So don't we, I'm not going to spend time on what's inappropriate. We all know that the two are different. But because we've had people who have had experienced inappropriate touch or people who've gone through pain from other people, I can see why people are leery. And I'd love to be able to clear the deck for you and explain part of your designed features that we have to connect with other humans. And you'll see in some of the research that having a pet is also very, very helpful. And I know a lot of you are saying amen to that.

2:01Dr. Joseph Marcola, who's actually doing some great work. In fact, I get some of my special vitamins from him as a matter of fact. He's put together some really great vitamin C packaging and other things. But he wrote an article a while ago. And he talked about a neuro-economist Paul Zach, also known as Dr. Love, actually recommends at least eight hugs a day to be happier and enjoy better relationships. Psychotherapist Virginia Staterials famously said, we need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. That's a lot. I'm sure we're probably all mostly behind. So we have to rethink that. But hugs actually allow your body. And this is the important part to produce ample amounts of oxytocin, which is released in your response to physical touch. And the Neural Peptide Oxytocin, released by your pituitary gland, is a naturally occurring hormone in your body with incredibly powerful health-giving properties.

3:03And it's also a key reason why the simple act of hugging is such an incredible way to not only bond with others, but also boost your physical and emotional health. And I'm going to talk about that. I teach about oxytocin when I'm talking to singles and young men and women because a 22nd hug, and you're going to develop a bond with that person in a unique way. And it actually increases your desire for more touch and more trust. And so I tell fathers, listen, you do not want your daughter hugging just anybody because she will naturally by design be drawn to them even more. So you have to be careful who you're hugging. But it's actually the oxytocin bond, as we know, also happens between husband and wife in the one flesh union. And also when you have a child, you get massive amounts of this chemical all by God's design. And I love to have that as a backdrop. Let me get into some more of the detail here. This is one of those shows where you're going to say, oh, I knew it was important. I didn't know it was that important because the more we understand about our physical design,

4:05the more that it impacts the way that we manage it for healthy relationships. So as I mentioned, hugging increases levels of the love hormone or the bonding hormone oxytocin. And then this in turn may have beneficial effects on your heart health and more. One study found for instance that women had lower blood pressure following a brief episode of warm contact with their partner, right? Low butt, that makes sense. A 22nd hug, along with 10 minutes of hand holding, also reduces the harmful physical effects of stress, including its impact on your blood pressure and your heart rate. So there is the first prescription. You hug your spouse, you walk outside, hold each other's hands. You know, it's difficult to get hand holding in now in the crazy life that we have because we're separated all the time. So you need to actually find a way where you can do that. Even if you go on a walk, you don't see couples generally holding hands because they're exercising. So I'm throwing this out there that we all might want to come up with a way to hold

5:08hands, maybe in church while you're worshiping you could do that. We've just gotten so used to being independent. So I'm just throwing this out there. And of course, because hugging lowers levels of stress hormones like cortisol, keep that in mind. But research actually suggests there might be more to it. And here's why. The skin, your skin, the largest organ of your body, is a network of tiny egg-shaped pressure centers called pysinian corpuscles. You don't have to remember this. That consents touch and which are in contact with the brain through the vagus nerve. So the vagus nerve winds its way through the body and is connected to a number of organs, including the heart. It's also connected to oxytocin receptors. So one theory is that the stimulation of the vagus triggers and increase in oxytocin, which in turn leads to a cascade of health benefits. Isn't it interesting?

6:08A God made mankind. He made male and female. Such a risky move. He actually handcrafted the first two, right? He actually created Adam from the dirt, breathed into his nostrils, the breath of life, and Adam became a living being. He then fashioned Eve, noticed the difference in words there, and he made them, and he put in their bodies the design feature. So these are the first part of creation that actually have their image is linked to God's image. And that is an amazing thing because he had created angels. He created all kinds of beings already. He then created all the plants and animals and trees and everything. Then he makes mankind with an essence linked to his own image. I love this. And what is one of the first things that he says in Genesis? It's not good for man to be what? Alone. And that's not just an idea of alone. That's physical aloneness. So we are designed literally for connection, which I think is so beautiful.

7:12And that is why when you are around people that you trust in particular, connecting physically is so helpful. And an appropriate hug is so wonderful for people to share. Now this first article that I'm referring to, I'll link you to, by from Dr. Marcola. He talks about cuddle therapies is there's no doubt that hugging, caressing and cuddling feel good. And he backs it up with some details here. He says a hug or a pat on the back and even a friendly handshake are processed by the reward center in the central nervous system, which is why they can have a powerful impact on the human psyche, making us feel happiness, enjoy. And it doesn't matter if you are the one touching or the touchy, right? So if you're the one insulating, hey, you shake someone's hand. The more you connect with others on even the smallest physical level, the happier you'll be. Do you remember back in the day when men in particular, which shake each other's hands all the time?

8:13And women as well, and especially if you're professional, why did that stop? No, COVID. But maybe even before COVID, people were isolating more. I just remember in particular growing up seeing the men in the family, my grandfather on my mom's side and others who would shake each other's hand. And you could tell the handshake meant more than just, hey, how you doing? It was a symbol of respect. It was it was man to man. It was, it was just something gracious. And I love seeing people still practicing that now. And you're in a professional setting like I find myself at time and I'm with other people or a national leaders. You know, I'm not going to go hug a stranger, even though I wear Christians where we appreciate each other. Sometimes you find a connection that you feel so strongly about after going through a conference or something. Someone will say, may I give you a hug? And you say, of course, because that feels very normal and natural. But there is still something really great about a handshake with someone of the same

9:16sex or the opposite sex. It's always appropriate and you do feel a sense of connection. I also think it elicits a sense of you are esteemed, right? So you're sending all kinds of messages. I just think this is so easy. And yet think about how many times a day where you interact with people and there's no touching going on or down again. There's a reason for that because people want to be careful, especially around people they don't know. What about your family? Many people are touched deprived. One study found that one third of people received no hugs on a daily basis. One third, wow. While 75% said they wanted more hugs, and that is good right there. Finding such as these coupled with the emotional and health benefits of human touch have led to the emergence of, you might laugh at this, but it's true, cuddle therapy centers, where people can pay for a lunch time cuddle.

10:17Wow, I did not know that that existed. I'm going to guess that this article is a few years old. I'm going to guess that that probably isn't as popular maybe as it used to be depending on the time. However, the verdict is still out on whether or not cuddles from strangers have the same impact on those as someone you know and trust. I'm going to vote for the trust is probably more impacting. Depending on the spouse or partner shown obviously to boost satisfaction in the relationship clearly. So, here's some more fun facts about hugs and skip down a few of these things. Hugs are one of the most succinct ways to encourage your body to release oxytocin as I mentioned and the more oxytocin your pituitary gland releases, the better able you are to handle life stressors. I mentioned this already, but I'll reiterate it. Oxytocin decreases the level of stress hormones, primarily cortisol. Your body manufactures and lowers your blood pressure response to anxiety producing

11:17events. Oxytocin quite likely plays a role in why pet owners heal more quickly from illness. Why couples live longer than single people and why support groups work for people with addictions and chronic disease. Oxytocin is a lot of hugging going on and human touch. Oxytocin is that bonding or love hormone. I'm looking out my window here in the station and there's a pigeon out here. I don't usually get birds. I mean we're on the third, fourth floor. Hi, if I were home I'd be talking to him. My husband thinks I'm crazy, but when I get to have an I'm going to have a lot of animal friends. I just know this to be true. Anyway, Oxytocin has also been found to reduce the cravings for drug and alcohol addiction as well as for sweets. So when you're going to go grab that chocolate bar, you might just go give someone a hug instead. And it has a positive influence on inflammation and wound healing. Even beyond this, regular hugs have the added benefit of a couple other things.

12:20This is just so fascinating to me and this is all proven by research, which you know I love this stuff, but I also love it because this is a simple prescription for you today to think how can I encourage my spouse? How can I support my children? How can I take care of the senior citizen who lives down the street? How can I show love and affection for someone who I have a relationship with? You definitely want to insert hug. It also cultivates patience and shows appreciation. Interesting. Regular hugs. It activates the solar plexus, which stimulates your thymus gland, which by the way may help balance your production of white blood cells. All this is important. It stimulates dopamine, the pleasure hormone, and serotonin for an elevated mood. You don't need drugs. You need a hug, right? Skip the drugs. Get a hug. I can see that sticker on somebody's car. It balances out your nervous system for better parasympathetic balance.

13:21Okay, I'm just amazed at God's design, right? I mean, this is incredible. And the fact that he made us so responsive to this, and additionally, if you have a pet, just a few minutes of petting your dog or cat can promote the release of your body's happiness hormones, including oxytocin. Don't you love pets? I mean, I don't have a cat right now. I've had cat forever. Cats forever, literally. I don't know how many of that I can, I've lost count. And we don't have a cat right now. And I, we don't have a dog. We didn't get dogs when the kids were little because we had five kids, and I didn't want to train a dog too. So we do have a couple grand dogs now, and they are just so sweet. And animals are so unique, right? So yes, it helps to have a pet. So if you're not getting the hugs you need, I do recommend a pet, by the way. And just touch anywhere on your body, as well as positive interactions and psychological support are known to increase oxytocin levels, by the way, not just the hug.

14:24That means holding hands, kissing, giving and receiving a back rub, nurturing others, and so on. I think this is super helpful. There's more, by the way, there's more. We're going to take a quick break. Maybe you have time to go give a 20 second hug to somebody. Yes, you do, but do not forget to come back. We'll be right back. Do you believe your influence can make a difference? Every day, women of all ages are bringing wisdom, creativity, faith and courage into their homes, workplaces, churches, and communities. And that influence is needed now more than ever. The influential women's forum is a national association of godly women committed to amplifying what is good, uniting like-minded women on issues that matter, and strengthening each woman's god-given influence in every area of society.

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16:26We stand ready to defend it. In courtrooms, legislatures, and the public square, you'll find us on the front lines. This is why Alliance defending freedom exists. ADF strategic victories will bring lasting change in law and culture, and with a coalition of courageous clients, allies, advocates, and supporters, ADF now has 18 Supreme Court wins. This is a great time to join the coalition, so to find out how you can get involved, go to ADFlegal.org. That's ADFlegal.org. And now back to the carry-out show. So we're talking about the power of a hug. Yes, a hug, H-U-G. In fact, it's so powerful, and it really is a picture, in a sense, an example of physical touch, appropriate physical touch, and what a blessing to have a God who creates people to relate to him. Now we can't see him or touch him. He gave us a gift called other people to relate to, to interact with, and we actually get

17:33brain chemicals. We call them brain cookies, and they help elevate your mood. They remove your stress. It's incredible that God has created a gift. It's a free gift, and you want to give it to the people you love. Some of you listening to me say, well, I'm not a hugger. And I happened to talk to my producer ahead of this, and he said, I confess I am a hugger. And that's a good thing. And some cultures and some personalities and some families clearly hug more than others. That's okay. The truth is to thrive as a human being, made in the image of God, you need physical touch. So if you're not a hugger, you might think, okay, how can I pull that off now, or maybe I can get better at that? If you are good at holding hands, or again, just a pad on the back, believe it, all these things actually help the human condition, which is why caregivers and people who care

18:36for our beautiful, powerful, wise senior citizens who are not able to move as fast as they used to, but they're probably smarter than the rest of us. Definitely the best prayer warriors. They are so important for the dignity of every human being. Remember, being pro-life isn't just embracing life from conception to natural end, but that's that it is when you are four people, you're four life at all stages. I think this helps us remember how important physical touch is. And interestingly, there's more research in other places that I found in a carefully controlled laboratory at Carnegie Mellon University. Researchers exposed more than 400 healthy volunteers to the common cold virus. Okay, I'm sure they had to say yes to that, but of course you know the virus's common cold is everywhere anyway. However, before the viral exposure, researchers spent two weeks meticulously tracking something

19:38most scientists might overlook, and this is what it was. Whether the participants had been hugged each day. You know where I'm going with this. The focus was not sentimental, but rather to see whether a simple embrace could serve as a miniature vaccine against disease. The research, along with the other studies, shows that the right frequency and duration of hugs can prime your immune system. I love this. And it can lead to better heart health and even help with and heal emotional wounds. Let me say that again. The right frequency, which means you need a couple hugs, right? Not once a week, but more than that. And the duration of the hug, so let's say probably 10 to 20 seconds, a real hug, right? Can actually prime your immune system. Who needs a vaccine? Who needs the toxins when you could have a what? A hug. I mean, isn't this great?

20:40This is why parenting is such a big deal. Marriage is such a big deal. Any kind of commitment to another person, keeping this in mind. And Carnegie Mellon's study, lead researcher, Sheldon Cohen, had a hunch that physical touch might be one of the key ways that social support protects us from the stress-induced illnesses. His team exposed participants to the common virus, and then for 14 consecutive days, ask them about their daily conflicts, their social interactions, and yes, whether anyone had hugged them that day. I bet they were surprised too, as they were going through this. The results. Cohen's hypothesis proved to pressient. Participants who were hugged on most days had about 60% lower odds of becoming infected than those who were rarely hugged. Additionally, those who did get sick recovered more quickly and had stronger immune responses than those who received fewer hugs. So let me say that again, the participants who were hugged the most days had a 60% lower

21:45odds of becoming infected than those who were hugged. And then when they did get sick, they recovered faster. From what? A drug? No? The hug. I mean, the hug could make a comeback. This is so exciting. These findings suggest that in hugging, in addition to being an affectionate human behavior, is also a surprisingly effective defense against stress-related illness because of the boosting of the immune system. Now I mentioned this a little bit earlier. I'll repeat it in this current article when we hug someone, a cascade of events unfolds in our bodies and our brains, affecting us on multiple levels. So that's neurobiological, neurochemical, and social. Hugging stimulates a network of sensory nerves under the skin. I mentioned that. And sometimes those are called, they're C tactile afference, if you want to know the name, sometimes referred to as cuddle nerves. These nerves are especially responsive to gentle affectionate touch and send signals directly

22:46to the insular cortex, the brain center for emotional processing. So when triggered, cuddle nerves also release endorphins. The body's natural pain killers that help boost your mood. Cuddle nerves are optimized to create a sensation of comfort. Reinforcing our drive to seek and enjoy close physical contact with others. You see how this might work as a parent if you're sitting close to your child and rubbing their little back or whatever you're doing and how all of this plays into not only their nervous system, but their emotional processing. Wow. On a neurochemical level, hugging triggers the release of several feel good chemicals, which I've already mentioned, chief among those is oxytocin, that love hormone, and dopamine. Now going back to another quick study in 2023, published in the International Journal of Environmental Research in Public Health, more than 100 first year college students who received more daily hugs from friends, roommates, and family members. They reduced their morning stress levels.

23:47The following morning compared to days when they received fewer hugs. That's a practical one. And I think we can see that in some of the other research I'm looking at here. Earlier research from 2003 found the couples who had 10 minutes of handholding followed by a 20 second hug with their partner before giving a speech had lower blood pressure and heart rate by half compared with those who sat quietly without contact. That's interesting. Their affectionate contact produces benefits that extend far beyond stress reduction. Apparently people receiving consistent physical comfort, whether from humans or pets, or even by the way a weighted blanket helps. Isn't that interesting? They sleep more soundly, and they wake more refreshed if they've had hugs. Oh, I guess a weighted blanket is now in bulb sleeping. That's interesting because a lot of people really like those by the way. And I've already talked about all the other physical part. But I want to mention that it heals trauma through touch as well. This is appropriate touch for trauma survivors.

24:47Physical affection provides a pathway to healing that bypasses the need to process painful memories through words alone. Now, I love that one because a lot of us have gone through some difficult things and we don't always have the words for it. Somebody with you and just doing that beautiful gift of being with you, which is really a ministry, being with someone. And hugging them, you're doing a good thing friend. So hugs are back. In case you didn't know, they're back. Get rid of the drugs. Let's replace them with hugs, right? I love this. I love the way we're designed. I can't help it. I just get so excited. So hug somebody today, especially those key people in your life. And we'll see you next time. You've been listening to the Carriabit Show. If you'd like to listen again to today's episode or share it with a friend, simply go to thelegacyinstitute.com. And remember, the Carriabit Show is made possible by donations from friends like you. And of course, our text is deductible.

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26:49So go to thelegacyinstitute.com today and download your free blueprints. That's thelegacyinstitute.com and remember, you can raise kids who live in agreement with their divine design. Does the teen, college age, or young adult woman in your life struggle with her image, purpose, or her identity? Is she finding it difficult to have joy when she thinks about her future? Does she seem confused about what the Bible teaches about male and female relationships, or is she being drawn into the lies from the culture? There is something you can do to help her. Introducing True Beauty, a powerful positive study that answers the question, what is a woman? With the guidance of a mentor, mother, or leader, each young woman will discover her unique true beauty as she is equipped and empowered to embrace her female identity and discover her own unique design and purpose in this generation. Go to thelegacyinstitute.com for your small group, class, or family study materials.

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