Episode 526 - Dick on Late Payments

0:00The emails when somebody fucks up are short, you know, they're straight to the point. Where the fuck's my money, man? Where the fuck is my money? It's October now. Where the fuck's my money? Where's any of my fucking money? You know, give me my fucking money. What date is that? Did you saw September 30th? Look at this shit. Look at this shit. August. Send it. August. It's October, seven days ago. Give me my fucking money. I say net 30 on all my invoices. Net 30, yeah, yeah. 30. But that is really net two before I start taking it. Is that you do that? Yeah, I can hear it. I'm on a net 360. 360 days. Net zero. Like the internet. Provide it. God, dammit. Fucking dead. God, dammit. Fucking give me my money.

1:00Dude, there's this like Cosmically. Fucking chicken m- and- Yeah, nugget, right? Nugget, you fucking chicken m- nugget. I've said the other the wrong way so many times. I don't know which one I'm saying anymore. Dude, he's chiseled m- nugget right now. He's fucking chiseled my m- nuggets. Give me my fucking money. Write a fucking check. Give me my fucking money. Send a zel. Send a paypal. I know you got money for door dash. I know you got money for beef and broccoli. Send me my fucking money. Give me that fucking money. This is thinking of going around a dough and paying. God, dammit. I bet Carl gets his money. I bet Carl does get his money. I bet Billum William the fridge gets his fucking money. Where's my fucking money? William the refrigeraire. That's right. I'm gonna sue his ass. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna sue his ass. Ass action lawsuit. Give me my fucking money. Run me that. What am I supposed to do?

2:01I can't take the law into my own hands. You need the long arm of the law. I need the long arm. I need Riley to dress up in a little cowboy outfit with a gay little hat, little tiny hat, and have extendo arms. Like that guy that makes Wolverine claws on YouTube making an extendo arm. Long arm of the law. Ha ha ha. I forgot what I was gonna talk about. When's Happy Wednesday show everyone? Thanks for all your comments about. Thanks for all your sarcastic comments about how there was no show while I was sick. I really love being sick, taking care of a fucking baby. Every time he gets sick now I get sick. Sniffles sick. Dude, that's the worst thing apart about kids, man. It really is. A second, the second sniff cough, anything. I'm like, oh, okay, I'm sick. Oh well. See you in a week. Just spit right in my fucking, and every time he, he figures out a way to spit into an orifice

3:04of my my eyeball, my fucking mouth this time. Cause outta nowhere he goes, ptuh. I'm like, god damn it, I shouldn't have laughed at that. Every time he did it. Up until now, now it's not funny. Man, you know, some people, I've learned having a kid, some people just, they just have discipline in their blood. Yeah, dude. They some women just have discipline. And some men, I mean, it might be some men too, but I don't like my fucking son around men, I don't know. So, and I don't know a lot of men that are, that are really interested in discipline. I don't know if that, I don't know if I strike you as someone who likes to hang around a bunch of disciplinary and males, but I don't. So. Oh yeah, old pups is a real drill sergeant. My dad. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. My dad, you have a conversation, and then at the end of the conversation, you give him a test. What did I say I was doing? He's like, who? What do you, this test says, I, are you referring to me? No, I was referring to I, me. The other person in the conversation.

4:06What? Ha ha ha ha ha. What for station? Conversation. That's why you were having on the phone. No, more of a monologue. Ha ha ha ha ha. You fritz, you young fruits with your conversations. Take it to discord, peto. That's what you would say. Oh fuck, I forgot to turn the air off. Oh, I'm, my wife's not gonna like this one. Where's my fucking, I don't have money to run the air. Someone's not paying me my check. Someone's not running you the solar bill. Where's my fucking VIG, man? Where's my cut? Should be cut off the top, not cut off the end. I get the prime cut. The big dogs gotta eat. Get my fucking money, Vido. Where the fuck is my money? You weren't supposed to see that email. I didn't want to bring up this on the air, but you happen to see the email. And if you don't talk about what's happening before the show, then it messes the whole show up. That's true.

5:07You're goddamn right, it's true. What? What? Is that thing? Hey. Hey. Oh, the postpartum seminars are out. Is that it? Everybody's HR has launched the postpartum seminar. Apocalypse. Yeah. Ah, welcome to Nick. You want to dig, you need to go, you love to. You got it as the show rims of Contest. Come here live from Mountain Bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure in my house. Like Madison and Trinemies always is Johnny the audio engineer. How you doing, man? Dude. How you doing this Wednesday? Is it Wednesday? Is it Wednesday? We're gonna be doing some Wednesday shows for a while. I got fat. I got fat news for you. Dude. It's Wednesday, my dudes. It's Wednesday, my dude. Wednesdays is good as any other day. I just feel like I'm on my heels during the week. Sunday, I feel like I'm back in charge. Like I got the Lord on my side. Wednesday, you getting rocked from every which way.

6:10Man. You know? You got that right. Sunday is nice and calm. So we'll see how we do on a Wednesday show. Add a little turbulence to our days. It's gonna be a turbulent month. I like it. And then we've got a bonus episode with Justin. I don't know when sometime late October. Sorry. Fuck, man. It's getting harder to schedule this shit. Dude. It's getting harder and harder every year. You know what I realize is even worse about having kids too? It's breakfast. Once you start doing like waffles or pancakes with syrup, dude, your whole life is gonna be fucking sticky, dude. Oh, this is stickiness is my 80s girl is going to this bachelor at party last weekend. I said, aren't you a little old to be going to bed? I said, aren't you a little old to be drinking illegally? I said, aren't you a little what?

7:12What were you gonna say? Nothing. Nothing. Something in my head. My head space thought was funny. Something in my head made me thought was funny, but it's not. So what's this about a bachelor at party? Like a golden bachelor at party? Is that what you did? That's cool like the show. Everyone has to get their hair done in the little old lady effort. They got a whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we don't say that word. Not in the lady effort. Lady, they're called ladies of the evening. That's what I call. Ladies of sunset. Ladies of sunset. Ladies. How many different, how many different euphemisms are there for old ladies? We got to go to like the old lady dance troupe. I guess find out. Bag is not. Bag is not something they like to be called. Especially if you throw a whole bag. Look at this old bitch. Old bat is a good one too. Old bat. Nah. He's like, I'm going in this. Oh, there's a fucking clamp. I've been looking all over my house for a second fucking clamp.

8:12Because I was trying to build my son a fort. And I could only find one fucking clamp in the whole house. Everything else was clamped. And I didn't want to declamp something. Because then it's fucked. I'm never, I got the ADHD bad. I got the ADHD bad like the end of midnight cowboy. I'm like, I got the AIDS, but I got, I'm in the bus. I got the ADHD real bad. Rizzo. I got the ADHD real bad, Rizzo. You know, I booked the wrong bus. Again, I fucking, I've seriously booked wrong week flights. Isn't that the worst? I'm trying to get the refund on that is a fucking. It's just like a fuck you. It's a fuck you to people with my ADHD disability. I have a legit disability that means I cannot purchase flights on the right day. I, I don't know why. Every time I do it, it's a, it's always a big problem. I'll sit there and I'll look at it and then write it down and then I'll look at the date.

9:13I'll say, okay, October 17, okay, write it down, October 17th. And then I'll look back at the, I, the thing where I'm going, I said, okay, October 17th. And then I'll go back to the screen and say October 17th, okay. And then I'll go back to the thing. I'll say it, October 17th. And then I'll say, honey, it's October 17th, right? She's like, yes, I say, okay, click. And then I'll get the confirmation email and it says like October 17th, 2027 is booked. Like that's May 5th. You've booked tickets for May 5th. Enjoy your trip. I'm like, this is something's wrong with me. And now it's like, now it's a full on, um, and now I have a mental issue. I've got to get a mental issue around it because I know I'm going to fuck it up. You got the, the, uh, airplane ticket complex. I got to entertain airplane ticket complex. Dude, that happened to me one time. I showed a book at hotel and I was like, God, damn, these rates are fucking phenomenal. I shouldn't stay here for a week. That's like, I said the same thing. And then I fucking look at the Goddamn book and I'm like, wait a second, that's for a year from now.

10:13I'm not going to give a fuck about this a year from now. And then I go back to the current date. I said the same thing. Well, these tickets are really cheaper than I thought they would be. That's how I knew I was getting fucked. I got to put that in my, in my fucking, my rubric. I fucking, to my to-do rubric. But I have a disability. I shouldn't be charged for getting the wrong day flight. Can't the ADL do something about that? It's just a computer number, right? It is just a computer number, like a fuck you computer number. Yeah. Just go change the number somewhere. I got my, I got my election ballot in the mail. And I was looking at the, I was looking at the voter ID one, you know? And it said, it's got all this stuff like why you shouldn't vote for voter ID. It's like, it's going to cost us $10 million to do voter ID. And then it says proponents of it. It's like the Tino voters, like every, like the black voters, like people who graduate at high school or like the supporters.

11:15And it says people who oppose. And it says the League of Women Voters. And I said, man, I've been wasted so much time trying to figure out the correct way to vote. I could have just been going off of the, doing the opposite of the League of Women Voters as well. I've been, I always go to like the libertarian site, but then they don't like, they don't have the right kind of heat that I want. Right. Like I want people punished. I don't want people left alone. People harmed, you know, by the government. But then I go to the Republican one and it's like, I don't want those people harmed. I, those, that's me that you're describing. I want other people harmed. Stupid people. People who, who I'm not in the same race. Right. Like I'm very, I'm very specific, you know. Mexican and white people, nah, they're okay. But now I got to figure it out. Now I'm just going to go League of Women Voters opposite straight down the thing.

12:16It's pretty useful, pretty, pretty good tip for you. How about that? Um, I have, I don't know, I don't know, things seem or smell a little off my house. You didn't, you didn't mention it when you came in, but you're a nice guy. Did you seem off or something seems off, right? What happened? Someone had a refrigerator. That's what was different. Man. Something felt a little more cavernous. Something feels a little more feral around here. Yeah. We're eating a hand to mouth. Really? You're eating a mouth? We're eating a mouth. It's not fun. You're living out of a Yeti cooler, dude. You should. Oh, and I asked my neighbor to borrow his cooler because I only have one Yeti cooler.

13:19And he goes, yeah, he's this rich Asian guy, like super Chad guy, you know. He looks like he belongs in this neighborhood. I don't. I'm aware of that. You got Robert Kiyosaki's dad. He's young, too. Dan's like son, baby. Yeah, his son. He was probably, he would probably be right at home in the Cornell 7. He's like handsome. Corner 7. Yeah. You know the Cornell 7. Yeah. The guys that were raped by that. Right. That butch, large, clitorist woman. Man. What a world we live in. Women know they fucked up with the Lindsey Clancy stuff. Women have been fucking up a lot lately. So now they're getting desperate and they need now they're throwing out the old standards. Like look, we were raped at a frat house because we're doing ketamine off each other's dicks. And then we fucked. And then we fucked all the guys dicks that we were sucking ketamine off of.

14:21So everyone needs to go to, everyone needs to go to jail. You want those guys to go to jail? No, all men. All men need to go to jail. Jokes on you. I'm already there. Jokes on you. Half of us are already there. I don't get that joke. You need double jail. They know they fucked up with all the Lindsey Clancy stuff. So now they're just freaking out and like throwing shit at the wall. All you gentlemen out there perfect your pruno recipes while you still have access to the internet. Because you're going to jail. Because when we're all in jail, we're all in jail, man. We're going to need some good pruno. I've already started working on mine, man. You can't be disinviting the gang bang girl from the party though. That's kind of like you gang bang a girl. You can't uninviter from the next party. That's like, that's 101, man. That's girls 101. You can't do that shit. You go to jail. You go to jail if that happens.

15:21Pruno time. Somebody should have taught these boys. Yeah, okay, cool. You gang bang in that slut. Yeah, it's just like basic etiquette, right? Basic etiquette. You can't disinvite the gang bang girl from a party. What are you thinking? What are you fucking weirdos thinking? Where are your manners? Absolutely. That's why you're going to jail. You got no manners, which I support. See, and that, and I don't want to be on her side. But I mean, frankly, gentlemen, first of all, you're cock blocking everyone else. The party who wants a little bit of that free pussy, right? Those bring in their ketamine bags and now... It's a nut the RSVP even. Like, put it in the email. You can't be disinviting that bitch from a fucking... Because you know they caved to... You know they caved to pressure from women. That's what happened. She gang bangs those guys. And first of all, I mean, you... If you throw ketamine, a lot of this controversy is happening because people just don't

16:24know ketamine. I know ketamine. You do ketamine, you are a meat golem. You've went into basically another dimension. What happened might as well be someone else's dream, so you're trying to remember. Don't try to tell me that you were whatever sucked 10 guys dicks while you were doing ketamine because you didn't do any of that. The fucking ketamine did. Nobody texts... Nobody texting about ketamine. First of all, nobody's snorting ketamine off cocks that hasn't already blown through a couple bags of fucking ketamine. You're a ketamine dope fiend. Right, that seems like a extreme... It's the absolute worst drugs. It goes liquor, mornoing weed, mornoing mushrooms, mornoing, ayahuasca, most annoying ketamine. Yeah. I take that back. Ayahuasca, Jesus, then ketamine. Below Jesus Christ. It's meth first then Jesus that really makes Jesus just awful.

17:26Oh man. Meth prison Jesus deported. Keep his person away from me. Victory outreach counselor. Let me tune my hearing aids to delete this fucking frequency of... It is a specific frequency too. Somebody could say, man, the worst thing ever happened to me, you're never going to believe it. Oh man, really? That sounds terrible. What happened? First I did a bunch of ketamine. Oh no, thank you. Not interested. You deserve it. Not interested in any of it anyway. Was I... Well, it's like I didn't start smoking weed by just smoking like huge blunts all day. Or just like... All right. You start with like a bowl and you're like, okay, like over a course of a couple months. You're like, oh, maybe I'll try it. Join me. These guys tricked me into snorting ketamine off their erect penises. Oh wow. You refer to it as ket already? Yeah. Wow. What if you hiked Mount Everest after your climb Mount Everest after like a small hike? There I was getting gang banged on Mount Everest.

18:28All of it... All of it's happening because people just don't know it. People don't know how deviant and hardcore into drugs and what's detached. What's the diss word? Disassociative. Oh yeah. I don't know how addicted to like disassociative mental states. Someone is a hardcore ketamine addict. Right. Right? It's not... You can't treat this like a real person. It's not. That's a drug. Anyway. I've watched a ruin in many lives. Oh. And annoy many more. Bugged this fucking shit out of me. Hey, let's party. I'm gonna do some ketamine. Okay. Well, you can party with the bean bag then. Yeah. I'm just fucking... I would be... It's a music by myself. Rather sit in the corner and read through every card against humanity and force a laugh out than fucking party with any of that. You can't uninvite that bitch from the party though, guys. But you can't uninvite that bitch from this fucking shit.

19:30That's the worst ketamine in the corner. So what happened is she's hype about... She's hype about the disassociated gang bang and then chicks throw a fit about it. It's really a problem with women. Like all things. This is really a woman created problem. Then they could all piss off at her for showing guys how easy it is for them to put out. You know? You mean you could have done this at any time? Only for money. Right? Like Roger Rabbit pulls his hands out and then Eddie says you could have sucked my dick at any time and he goes, boob boob boob boob. Only for money except that's women. The money part rhymes. The original line is only when it's funny. Oh, that's right. It's been a few years since we've seen that. I was having a day unlike any other. I was watching my credit card statement as I do. That's a day that usually ends in a gray hair too for me.

20:31And I said how's this possible? How's this so low? Is there some sort of a glitch? Were you looking at a year ahead? Was I looking at the wrong date? Is this next year's, is this my 10 years ago, Bill? I checked my wife's, I'm like, is my, I called the hospital. I said, is my wife dead? And they said no. I said, huh, what could explain this low credit card bill then? I call the credit card people. They're like, no, sir, you, it's, you credit card bills just really low this month. I said, ah, wow. I just about started to feel good. I laid back my sofa, get ready to put on some goi slop. And I heard, braah, braah, for a horrible sound from my fridge. Oh, come on, man. No, that sounds, that sounds like too grand. Hurrah. Sounded like the fridge was having an accident in its pants.

21:32Like a pea sound. Pea. God, no, man. Sure enough, dead fridge. Oh, my shit's starting to go bad. Oh, my priceless, on my antique cheese and shit. Oh, my serups. Oh, my baby food. Oh, my fucking frozen salmon. Did like a whole fucking Atlantic river over there. Dude, I had the best old meats in there, frozen solid. I asked my neighbor, am I cake and I, I brought a cooler. I only have this one yeti. He gives me, he gives me a cooler that, he must have got an antique sailor something. He's too young for, you see that thing up there, the blue one on the counter? No, I'll look at it again. It's not mine. He wrote his name on it too. Like who the fuck with, what the hell's going on? Let me ask a different neighbor. You know what, you have a Tesla and you have this piece of shit. Cooler?

22:32Same build quality. Is there even any vacuum in here? Is it just styrofoam? It's just that the air gap is on it. The lid doesn't even seal. You keep your food in this? He's like, you swim with your shirt on too? Are you hiding a Mexican under there? I thought you were Chinese. That's his joke cooler. Yeah, this is a borrow one now. In case some joke comes around, eating the borrow cooler, give him this piece of shit. You think they're next door laughing their asses off? Probably. Now I'm gonna spy on them. If they go to the beach or something, I'm gonna go, I bet they have a good, I fucking guarantee they have a good cooler. I bet you they have three yeties. You could have had four yeties sitting up there and they're just living and fucking, I bet you they're using them now. I'm fucking cramming food in. Cramming, right? I've seen you pack something before. I hate cramming. There's probably like two ice cubes in the whole fucking thing in their rest of your...

23:32You know how much fucking ice is? Dude, I'm spending like 10 bucks a day for fucking ice now. And I, and I, I, God damn it. And 80's girls said to me like two weeks ago, do you think we could get a new fridge? And I said what, like a new, like a new coat of paint or something on this fridge because this fridge is perfect. You probably sabotaged it. I was gonna say, do you, for your first mistake is your first not immediately being, what did you do to the fucking fridge? Look, I got a lot of mysteries that I'm tracking. My wife with the fridge, the neighbor's good cooler. I'm gonna stake, I'm gonna stake that motherfucker out. What do you, do you think it was the neighbor's ploy to have to force you, your hand into using a shitty cooler? I don't know what the, I don't know who benefits, but I know what I'm smelling is not good. It's not what the rock is cooking. It's not what the rock is cooking. Do you think someone played a joke and put P.P. in your fridge? Is it my cooler? Oh yeah, that too.

24:33It's a P-filled cooler that when you free, you know. So I said, all right, I got it to get a new fridge, whatever, fuck me, there goes the credit card bill, there goes my life, there goes my social security. Now I'm gonna be raped by immigrants, whatever. So I load, I load up to Home Depot and I'm like, you know what, it's like the fridge is like, I can't get it right now. It's like, not gonna be here tomorrow or something. It's like three days because everything now, nobody has anything. No. It's all, everything is in Mexico. And when you order it, three guys who don't use a dolly, carry it onto some shitty jolapi and drive it across the border. Have you seen that fucking fridge strap? What a fridge strap. You've never seen the fridge strap? I mean, on the dolly, yeah, I've seen a fridge strap. Two assholes put these things over their shoulders and they've no way. They put things underneath and then they bolt, like one guy in front of me and they just fucking walk it out. Yeah, it's being, my fridge is being walked from Mexico.

25:35Right now. Dude, here's a mystery that I've been tracking. Speaking of things going and coming from Mexico, mattress trucks. Oh, really? You know what the fuck I'm talking about? No. Were those little shitty white toyotas? Yes. With like 20 mattresses in the back. Yeah. Like 15 in the, were the fuck first off are all those mattress? How are they always full? What are they doing with them? That's what I, do you think in Mexico people are like, you know what, I'll take that dirty fucking mess. They're lining the tunnels. Oh. They're lining the tunnels with those mattresses. Like in rafts or something. Making rafts. But man, I just every, every time I'm on my way over here, every time I'm on my way. Any time I'm driving, I see a fucking mattress truck or two on their freeway. So I, I got home deep out and I'm like, ah, I don't want to wait till, I don't want to wait till Saturday. This shop is, that's like, yeah, that's like, that's too many days. Should you get the shop is fridge? I go to lows and it's like, it'll be here on Friday.

26:37I was like, oh yeah, all right. I don't know about, I don't know anything about lows. Sure. So I get it, of course. Friday comes, says, oh, nevermind, it'll be your Saturday. I was like, okay, that's cute. So you guys just like make shit up to, they fucking do, man. So then I says, then Saturday, get an update. Or my, I figured my wife was tracking it. She's like, it's not getting here on Saturday. I said, yes, it does. It's said, nevermind, it's not coming Friday. It's coming Saturday, see? Here's the receipt that I got. And she goes, why don't you read that, receipt more on. So I look at it and it says, your fridge water connector will be there on Saturday. The real thing is coming out on Monday. No, no. Why the fuck would they do that? Why would you do that? Sell it as well. Why would you send me a fucking email? Why would you separate them? Hey, we sent you the batteries. Your RC cars come in fucking two weeks from now.

27:40They said, all right. It's just a couple more days of buying ice every day and eating weird, probably bad food. Green eggs and ham, dude. Green eggs and ham. Okay. You've got to do a military ration channel and be like that guy a fucking who disappears mysteriously after eating some fucking crazy rash. So I said, all right, Monday, it'll be fine. Sunday night says, oh, just kidding. Fridge is not coming Monday. It's coming Wednesday. So I said, that's it. That's it. Early Monday morning I called, listen to you fudge packing pieces shit. Listen. Cancel this. I never want to talk to you. Put me on the black list. And then then then then then then then then then. Right. Hit him with the old dumbasses from Damascus. So I got a home deep thought. I'm like, all right, buy it. Get it here on Wednesday. Okay, same, so nothing. All right. Wednesday, bye.

28:41Purchase. I get another email. It's a sorry. Actually, just kidding. It's coming here on Friday. Man, you guys are a week without a fucking fridge. A week and a half. Ugh. I don't even know how to eat anymore. Just gonna start chewing on the table. It's infuriating. It's really like, I really understand Africa. A lot more and why they're like this. Just zero maintenance. It's just no fridge, you know. No water. Fuck it. I'm just gonna start acting like crazy. What does anything matter? I don't have a fridge. No cold drinks. Just room temp drinks. Oh, that's the worst. I gotta drive a jack in the box but I want a cold soda. It's like living in fucking Britain. Nothing but hot coffee. Much of warm beers. So my wife's going to the spatula up, party. Did you call it the bag, Slurut?

29:44The bag's so hot, pretty. And she's like, all right. I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna leave. And Donnie goes to chew. I don't like that. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Okay, done. You're leaving me with him? Sick? I'm gonna get sick. And then everyone's gonna be upset because I didn't do a show on Sunday. They sound like shit. And I can't think straight. Just like, yeah, I gotta go do this thing. See ya. Peace out. Better look next time. Is it okay, fine? So then I get a message the next day, late at night. Just like, I'm coming home. Like, what the hell? Why? Apparently they rented this big Airbnb, right? But the power went out. And it's like 110.

30:44It's a bunch of shit-faced chicks. With no just sweltering heat, no music, no internet. All complaints. Oops, all complaining. Oops. Goddamn. I would have thought that was so bad. Hope for you, man. If you heard a cloud gaming, well, so I got here. Oh yeah, Lindsey. It never seemed practical to me. You know, I hadn't even heard of it, but then we're trying to play a video game. Trying to play reanimals. Anything to break. Take your minds off this fridge, fiasco. And it's like the usual torture of, oh, what's your password? Log in with your Microsoft Live account. Go here, go here. Takes like an hour and a half. Do the updates, updates freeze because they can't figure out a way to update the progress.

31:45And I don't know why, I don't know why they can't figure out how to make the bar climb the whole time. But eventually there's a part where it stops and it's like the dark side of the moon and you just like, okay, I guess it'll just start counting again. I guess everything else on this fucking display works except counting how many bytes has moved over. They can't just, I guess it. And just keep, like, time it. Just make a timer that goes 10 minutes. Show me anything that's working. Anyway, we do all the updates, reset the passwords, reset the other passwords, go through the janky website, bolt it on interface. I said, all right, we got the game. Reanimals, there you go, you're set to my wife. You set here, take the controller and go buy your game. Everything's hooked up. And then she goes to get the game, reanimals on the Xbox. And she's like, uh oh, it won't work. It's pretty mean to want, what do you mean it won't work?

32:46This is like, this is tried in true technology here, buying video games, playing video games. She's like, I don't know, it said something before I bought it. I said, what did they say? Cause I don't know, I didn't read it. Why didn't you read it? It's like, cause I wanted to play the game so bad because it's been like an hour of updating and resetting passwords. I just wanted to play the game. So I skipped it. I said, but you know something, you know something was a warning or something, right? You're, you are aware enough of what it maybe said and that it's not working now. So I looked into it and it was like, I mean, you're sitting and trying to play the game and it says, oh, you got to, you got to do cloud, you have to buy a cloud gaming pass to do this game, which is like 15 bucks for five hours a month. You get five hours and it's like a sci-fi dystopia that count your gaming hours and you're paying for some other computer to render the shit

33:49and feed it to you with like intolerable lag. Pay enough for tokens already. What do you mean, I need tokens? What do you mean I need tokens to video game? Is that Indian chick in charge of Xbox responsible for this? That might be her best move yet if she is. I've never seen something like this before. Like a collect call to play a video game. Can you get Cara top back for that one? Can you try to kill himself, right? He's probably gonna, again, I imagine. He should. It's been a long road for that guy. I saw him at church after he tried to kill himself and he's coming out of church. Oh, that picture, yeah. And he's still got all that eyeliner on. Is that like his eyes? Is he actually colored like that? Maybe, maybe he added on. Was he wearing eyeliner to church? It looks stupid. Like it looks like Marilyn Manson. Cara top looks stupid. That's fucking news to me. Can you shave his hair or something? He doesn't look good.

34:52If he shaved his head and just started saying he was like a howey Mandela impersonator, that would be his funniest bit. Yeah. He should pull a cramer. Yeah. That would be cool. Do the exact, do the exact bit. Then he'd be like a darling of the alt right. Turn it into the new Aristocrats joke, right? Try to kill yourself. He should have done it on stage. Blown as brains out on stage. Let Gallagher rest. One of his props. Props gone wrong. I was on set recently and they brought a rubber gun out and they made everyone go around and hold the rubber gun. Like everyone needs to see it's a rubber weapon. It's a rubber weapon. I'm like, okay. Isn't that more dangerous? Because you could just swap it out with your own real gun. Well, I wanted to like take it and like fucking hold it up against my head. Yeah, you're just fucking, and then everything that's funny, people who work with guns.

35:52No, it's, they don't think it's funny. I like hysterical. I'm like, well, if it's a rubber gun, what the fuck does it matter? Unless it's a real gun. Unless it's a real gun in your life. You didn't check it. I checked it. I checked it was rubber. It was like holding a bigger racer and I'm like, well, then what the fuck's the point? It was like totally rubber gun. Yeah, it was not even metal. No, totally like it looked the part. Yeah. It was not at all. Gotta get a real one. Well, then they brought a real one out and we're like, this is the real gun now. And I'm like, well, then what? Uh, always something, man. Do anyone else get accused of rape this week? I don't know. I don't know. Someone probably did. They got a, women got to build up their is at again. We'll statistically speaking, that's always happening around the world at some point or another. It's happening everywhere in this house.

36:53I saw this, there was some woman that wrote a, wrote an op-ed about the Cornell 7, people and it was basically like, uh, women need to start taking accountability for their, hooring and not just saying it was rape, right? I said, wow, okay, bold stance for this day. Old. You found a woman to write that? Whoa. Could have found a man, if you found a man to write that article, that would have been a bold statement. Kind of woman to write that article. Come on. At what point are we going to get? Remember the old days when it was like, well, this, this woman actually took on this pseudonym of like, such and such, so that everyone would say, what if it was just a guy writing with a woman's pen name? Oh, yeah, with like an AI. Just like fucking. Yeah. Taking it back like a hundred, 200 years or so. Yeah, who, who didn't Benjamin Franklin do that? The original Quirk Chungus?

37:54Yeah, he wasn't a farmer. What was he doing writing a farmer's laminate? He's the original title was that, at Almanac. Right. Then the FCC got involved in this, right? I said we can't publish this. Something else that starts with that fate. Why not? That's right. I'm not a farmer though. Sounds the same. What is a farmer of sorts? Come farmer. There was like a black guy and a Korean guy. All kinds of rapists. Anyway, in the article, it said she was like, sexual harassment is a big problem. Why this survey says over a third of women had unwanted sexual attention or penetration. Like, wow, that's a big or. That's a big or. That's a big or. Can you perhaps whittle? Can you perhaps carve out which is which?

38:57Can you tell me, because I've had unwanted sexual attention, you know, but penetration. Penetration though, that's like a big. That's like a big jump from going to Canada Pabs to like a half of fifth, right? You're just like doing ketamine off of cocks. Calling it cat. Um, I'm like, are you? I don't think you're serious. I don't think this is a serious article. If you're going to be, is there any single survey that just says it without the and? They probably can't because then the numbers would be like, insanely low. One in three, wow. One of three women have chewed bubble gum or been raped. Wow. That's crazy. That must be a big problem. How big of a problem I couldn't say. If there's one thing I've learned is if someone's trying to tell you, if someone brings up statistics in an argument, they'll leave them lying. They're instantly lying. It's crazy how much of that shit you have, you have to unlearn.

40:00Yeah. Well, I remember being in statistics class, not paying attention because I was too busy trying to not do work. Every question I'd ask, be like, so wait, sample size is just what you choose. Yeah. Okay. So this is all just by own, by my own metric that I'm judging. Is that something then? Yeah. So they do whatever you want. Trying to justify like, oh, so it's nothing then. Like it's all stupid. Yeah. All of it is just so dumb. Like the whole idea of like ideas, debate, the selfs of fucking stupid, jobless and fatherless behavior. It's such a fucking waste of time. It just exists to keep young men talking, it's therapists, therapists, therapists, therapists, therapists, therapists, until they're fucking too old like me to want to do anything. We need to be building skyscrapers with no fucking harnesses or nothing. We need to ask holes sitting up there with the shitty tin lunch box. It's been cooking their food all day, hanging off the edge of the building going, yep.

41:01I gotta do this shit again tomorrow. Okay. I gotta do this shit again tomorrow. Saw a, oh, Vivek tried to pick up a kid. Did you see that? Whoa. That was funny. He's still, they're still having this election. Vivek thought it'd be over by now. It is over, but. It's the fucking year 4,000. Too long at this point. Sick of this guy. Vivek. All right, let's watch Vivek picking up a kid. Do do do. Huh. Okay. Can you hear it? Yeah. Here we go. Now, Vivek's giving a big campaign rally. He's just, for no reason he decides to pick up this child. It's 10 year old child. Vivek lifts him up. Uh, oh, we got problems. The kids, the kids flailing.

42:03The kids got his arms. The kids doing a weird triple lindy kind of pose. Those arms sticking out. There you go. What? Ragnall in it. Just no fault of the kids, right? Just some wild spinal trauma from fucking this guy. Uh, this is like, Vivek trying to pick up a kid. It's like women thinking they're taking a self defense class and they're going to put keys in their fist and fight off. A rapist like, did you never, have you never picked anything up before? Do you not, do you, are you not generally aware of what you can or cannot pick up? No. Cause that's pretty normal. You should always be looking at everything thinking. You shouldn't even really need to think about it. Like I can't pick that up. Yeah. Nah, I can't pick that up. Instinct. You should be such an expert at knowing what you can and cannot pick up or should or should not pick up even.

43:04Yeah. Uh, here's the crash. Look, you can see this. You can see the people behind him realizing that he's not the women realize it first. See this one over here and this one over here. They're like, oh, he fucked it up. Oh, oh, dropped them. Pick up. I think that. Damn, any call them fat? There you go. Pick up. I think that. I think that. What an asshole. Oh, man. I don't know why people are conflicted about not supporting. Vivek. Yeah, what's there to be feel? He wants to dump a million Indians on your head. That's it. That's what every Indian CEO wants. Don't take whatever you have. What sort of feel to people like them? They're gonna be hard. No. Yeah. Well, the Democrat is, it doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter. Yeah, she's an idiot. She's a fucking nightmare. But she's not gonna dump a million Indians on your head. So what's the, so what is the fucking problem?

44:05We're trying to control the, trying to put the fingers in the holes right now. Yeah. We'll figure it out. Figure it out later. But what you definitely don't want is one million Indians dumped on your head, which is what this piece of shit is gonna do. Ranging about it. Yeah. Well, we need to grow, grow, grow, grow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Furt it. All this, he's still on the Maritocracy shit, which is another brainworm. People got hit with, and the Indians are getting very lippy on. Twitter, you're about it. Off a lot of words for, man, you guys test really well. Is there a test about like, where to shit, cleaning up where you, should where you eat? Street. It's a good test to look at where you're coming from. That's a pretty good test. Look at this shit hole. How much garbage is in your river?

45:07Is there even water in that river? Sure. Is it just a mixture of oil, feces? What's the test gonna fucking do? Nothing. It's the Borg test. How many of them does it take to figure out the correct answer? Yeah, and it fucks up, even studying for tests. It fucks up the whole point of the test. It's supposed to be like a test of natural aptitude. Not how much can you cram for this worthless test? Yeah. You're fucking, you're studying, in this bragging about studying, you're kind of like ruining the point of it. It's not impressive that you could study for a test. It's the opposite. Totally disqualifying. The test isn't real. It's just a bunch of retarded questions somebody came up with to test your general natural aptitude. Yeah. How are you studying? Do it in like five minutes and have most of it right. That's what you do this day in and day out. Fucking, are we in a meritocracy or not? No. We're not. We're in the real world.

46:10Or everyone hates you. Yeah. Regardless of whatever you've. They're getting real. They're getting fucking pissed, man. There's like any Indian on no matter what, no matter what side they're on. Something like this happens. It's like playing the same old racism playbook that was tired out in the 90s. But I don't think, I guess I don't think they realize that it only works when people are afraid of you, like coming to your house, stealing your stuff, killing you, shutting your bank account down. That's the only reason it works. Okay. What else do I got here? Some war video. Let's see that one. This is Ukraine is still going to. Oh, okay. This is some footage of drone use. Yeah.

47:11And the Ukraine war. These are drones that are dropping thermite. It looks like the beginning of Terminator 2 where the robots are squishing on skulls. Is that it? No, there's more of them. It's drones dropping lava out of the sky on you. I think that we're done with war. Are you supposed to have a war with there's helicopters, tiny helicopters dropping lava on everybody? Are you supposed to defend against that? You got to find like the, look at that shit. God damn. Oh man. It really sucks to be a human being when there is a bunch of robots flying around dropping lava on everybody. Yeah. Cool.

48:11Jesus. I thought we weren't supposed to, didn't they like, they got to keep war fair so that poor people will still die for it, right? Right. Because if you say like nerve gas and stuff is like, well, we can't use that because then poor people aren't going to go get gased. Like they're not that stupid. Everyone's getting the lava drones. Yeah. Now everyone's getting lava drones like, well, we can't use lava drones. Poor people aren't, they're not going to go get lava dumped on them. That sounds like some shit you would make up in the elementary school trying to like, fucking like man, this class is so boring. I wish lava drones would come over and like fucking melt this whole school. You know, it sounds like a video game upgrade. Right. Top lava lava drones. Fuck. Yeah. Good luck. It's just so outlandish that you wouldn't think such a thing could exist. Yeah, seriously. Here we are. Um, okay. See what we got here. A piece of shit robot. Aren't they all?

49:12This one looks pretty good. Piece of shit robot. Where is it? Are you afraid of AI? Yeah, this one. This. I think, I thought this was a joke. Can I set flourish? Look at this guy. He's going to tool around your house helping you out. What the fuck? He's making out your shit. Oh, he's fucking. He's in 10 minutes to pick up your shoes. It's a joke, right? Flourish robots. Charlie, you hear the music? Look at that. Four grand. For this piece of crap. With a little Chinese hat. It's a fucking render, too. Oh, is it? It looks like it. It does look like it. He's there with your kid. You can see anything with natural lighting. You still have that mat of a fucking perfect finish.

50:14I don't know. I thought things were going to be better. I thought things were starting to give better. But this is like, tinker toys shit. Look at this thing. What's the fucking brick he rolls around with? It's like a fucking rolling vape. How can we be dropping lava on humans, but we can't even pick up shoes properly. I can't wait for it to trip over my room, but I need shit. Yeah. I don't know. I hope it's fake. Wasn't that fucking Osimo robot that haunted built all those years ago better than this shit? What happened to that thing? I think about that all the time because then I saw I bought some. This is something we're never going to get, man. It sucked just as much. It wasn't any cooler. Asimo. Yeah. Asimo. Yeah. Fucking cocksucker mother fuck. I remember seeing that as a kid being like, oh shit, maybe this is going to go somewhere. And then it was just ended up being Freddy Wong videos with Boston Dynamics dogs. We never get anything.

51:15Yeah. Okay. Cornell 7. Yeah, I talked about that. All right. Let me get to comments. Oh my god, it's already one. Jack Rockstar says, the worst part about horses is the time they take. My girlfriend has two horses. Two horses. Whoa. Goodbye horses. Yeah. And she's out at the barn literally every day from three to six thirty. Three and a half hours a day. Three and a half hours a day. Three and a half hours a day. Three and a half hours a day. Horses for everybody. Wait, so if it's about an hour fifteen, right? Yeah. Or no. Two and a half hours a day. This is a life hack, man. You got problems with your wife. Get her fucking horse. It's a hell out of here. They just have a lot of those the fuck. Oh, they do. Horses are a shit. Can we time share a horse? But then they can't be gone every day. Right. Ha. Why did they cost so much? Because they eating like any luxury, right?

52:15You have to. It's not so much that you're paying for the horse. You're paying for the woman to be away all day. So they know they got you. The horse people know they got you by the balls. Fucking premium right there. Oh, damn it. You want to think today? That's gonna cost you. Maybe there's like a picture of a horse that they could go. Get that you could take a picture in front of perhaps. Yeah. They can't split a horse because they got to think they have a special relationship with the horse, right? That's the whole point of it. I think. And like which way would you split it? Like lengthwise, widthwise, like down the, someone gets the butt. One woman gets the ass into the horse. Right. And the other one gets the face. Easier to cost you wise. It makes sense. Yeah. We got to find a way to get it cheaper horses. So all women could have them. One fuck off. 50 hours. Or like, you know, smaller breeds. They seem cheap though. Tony seems cheap. Well, then when I peer commercial, though, I can't ride it anymore. So it's like it becomes a day skinny. You got to get a clients day.

53:18And that's like super premium. That's like Uber. He's onto something though. Jack Rockstar is onto something. You get your girlfriend a horse, get her the fuck out of the house. For three and a half hours. He may even mean 3am till 6.30pm. I truly don't know. Man, that would be great. Mish said a red dwarf reference in 2026. God bless you, Dick. Alexi. Dick is veto page of your 25% on the biggest problem yet. Have you seen any money yet? No. Thank you. I inquire. And clearing minds would like to know. I mean, what was it can be? Excuse me. Oh, it's just so crazy. It's just so crazy not having a door or a job. My life's so fucking crazy. I remember when PayPal first hit the scene. And even that was a little rough trying to like figure out like a transfer from my bank. White 2, 3 days.

54:18This is like that 5 to 7 back then. Turned into credits. It was a whole fucking ordeal to try to do. Nowadays instantaneous fucking it's more convenient than ever to fucking pay people. It's hard not to pay. Probably when Gavito pulls up the email prices, would you like to pay this person? Click yes or no. Yeah. No. Ignore. Do that's the first thing. Anytime I get something to end, it's like, okay, everyone gets their cut. I knew it was a bad deal. Maybe Carl will pay me. He can invoice you. I know. Gotta get a stereo so that I was invoices. Carl's got to be making some bucks off that show. There's no way he's splitting in 50-50 because he's doing more than 50% of the work. He's doing like 98% of the work. So start there. Carl's bringing in the problems.

55:19Carl's bringing in the audience. Carl's bringing in the heat. Carl's bringing in the media production experience. Carl's bringing in experience. Carl's bringing in the professionalism. Dude, when we were in Boston, there were professional little screens everywhere. Like, it was fucking as official as you could possibly want, man. That deserves a bigger cut. I bring the party. Carl brings the professionalism. What's Vito bringing? Who knows? Lave payments. Lave payments. Interest. I'm going to start charging interest. Mother fucking interest. Well, again, I'm going to take it out of Vito's booty. I'm going to start claiming toys as my own. They can buy them. Cash this in, all right? That's how he's going to hold it ransom so he can buy them off you. He's shouting right. He's my fucking money. Let's see. I'm going to send that little robot to Vito's house to collect the check. Timmy sent this in. Tennessee woman, Christina Pike.

56:22Get out of here. Oh, Pike. God, Jesus Christ. Fucking McDonald's ads. Makes a special request days before execution. Oh, yeah. Christina Pike has horrible nightmares. Her nerves are shredded. In eight days to 50 year old who killed her friend when she was a teenager will have her worst nightmares realized inside the execution chamber. And who wrote this? Well, since you haven't seen it, this lady is going to get her death by lethal injection. Uh huh. So she requested an all woman team and they fucked it out. Shocker. Yeah. So a few people wrote to me and were like, is this a good loophole now? Like if you're on the death penalty, just ask for all women. I have firing squad. I'd like every woman on earth to try to shoot me. Thanks. It'd be like how road Asians found all those guns just pointed straight to the sky. The death by getting flattened by a car.

57:22I'll just stand in the middle of this parking space. Shouldn't be any problem for you to kill me. As long as you don't stand next to the only street lamp in the parking lot, you should be fine. I would like death by putting the caps back on things. Cool. And screwing them down, not just putting the cap there. So it looks like you put the cap on. That's when you grab it and move when you grab off. It's it fucking blows shit everywhere. And now you got a fucking mess. I'd like death by I don't care if I didn't lock your car last night. It happens. Death by eating food on time. And not like two hours past the window. I would like death by. I'd figure out what you want to eat. Leave me out of it. That would cause death in them first. Do you think that was a thing like back in the fucking cave man day? I don't even know what bitch about back in cave man days. I know you spent all day fucking taking down this mammoth, but I really want a tiger.

58:25It's like, are you fucking kidding me? 100% that they would bitch about that. Oh, well, even back then it was just like, well, there's only two things that we know about in existence because we're early man. Would you fire any eating one fucking thing we don't have? Like, did you have to shit so close to the cave? I can smell it. I don't want to get eaten. That jeep egg. I see you reading those dirty inscriptions on the wall. You should mess up the house. You drew all this shit all over to what you're doing all day with your friends. That's cool. Dude, imagine I'd be right there. Hammered and sprained randy. Fucking fighting these big buffaloes. Check it out. Now everyone can see it. The only reason you could tell is you were randy is two little diagonal lines. But yeah, so that was what I gathered from this story anyway. They really, they botched a lethal injection. Yeah. They also say her death by lethal injection will be prolonged and agonizing. Why don't they just have a vet do it?

59:27Right. They don't, do they fuck up killing dogs? I don't really hear about it, but maybe they do. She has a rare blood disorder that could make finding a vein more difficult. So chop her head off. That'd be cool. Yeah. So see how to find a vein. A lethal injection will increase the likelihood of an eighth amendment violation. Jesus Christ. So she's going to go free because our legal system is a joke. It's like a silly, it's like a silly like Lewis Carroll, Allison Wonderland kind of, you know, pageant. It's the dog and pony show, dude. It's just, it's just full of these like silly stupid rules. The whole thing is dumb. The whole like trial by jury is stupid. All of it's including this one. Can't try to kill her again. Because of some rule, a loophole and fucking Calvin ball. How she's free. All right, whatever.

1:00:28Dude. Um, oh, that was from Hendrix. Cool. Please God tell me. Saw this. Yeah, I saw it. Terry says, just in US boomers overwhelmingly support higher taxes on younger workers to maintain their current social security benefits. Pull shows. hilarious. That's a good one. I wish that I wish that someone would somehow tell boomers that all of these, all their favorite little pets, uh, uh, uh, illegal immigrants are going to cost them. Well, I wish someone would try to convince them of that. Like look, we can't pay, we can't support Somalia and you at the same time. Yeah. We can either, either you get a second vacation home or these Somalians get a second vacation home. You got to pick one. There's as a mansion in the US. That's their vacation home back back from Somalia or you get a vacation home, but it can't

1:01:28be both. But the sad part is, is it can be both and it will be both. There's just so much, there's just so much more they can take from us. Um, I can't wait to be old man because I'm going to be once I hit like 50 in a few years. Yeah. I'm just going to fucking, uh, I did mean to say that because I am seen. Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I gotta let it slide because I'm old. Well, it's because I'm old. Uh, it's funny that they're producing these surveys. I guess, I guess people don't really understand, uh, their enemy yet, but the US boomers would overwhelming you, support higher taxes on younger workers to maintain current social security benefits. Yeah. Obviously, um, we don't need to tax young people at all to give social security benefits because the money is all made up and it's running and running a deficit every year. There's no reason not to just ramp up the death of it. The deficit at a hundred percent. No reason to pay it down at all.

1:02:29It's just burning your money. Uh, but ignoring that, uh, boomers would support, um, boomers would support killing younger people for fun. Oh yeah. They don't like us. They don't want us to be around. The younger people are a reminder that they are no longer young. Mm hmm. It's not about, um, it's not about supporting their lifestyle. It's not about taxes. It's just about, um, killing you or at least making your life miserable. That's the only thing boomers care about. They don't, they're not like, they don't understand retirement in any way that's, they're just as, they're just as dumb as people are age were, except they're old. So they've lost, they've all lost five to 10 IQ points just from age and just being so far out of touch and being on like viox for 20 years. Yeah. They don't have, they don't have any neuroplasticity left. They don't have any thinking, they're any thinking going on. They're not like weighing the pros and cons.

1:03:30They just hate you. They hate young people and they want to kill you and taxes are a good way of doing that. The more young, so the more young people killing themselves, the better. The more young people getting raped and killed by foreigners, the better. You know what the biggest, most egregious boomer sin to me, I think is what the fact that they're keeping America's funniest videos a lot. That's still a fucking show that goes on. I had no idea. You know what? They have an Instagram account. Right. Didn't YouTube fucking kill army should have killed them. They're still kicking, they're still kicking around. So crazy, man. I found the funniest Instagram channel. It's called Red Racing, I think. And it's like, I think the game, there's this game that's like a racing simulator, like a NASCAR simulator called I Racing, maybe. Oh, and it's the guy who spins them all out. Yeah. Yeah. It just causes crashes. But I guess it's, I guess the people playing it take it really seriously.

1:04:33Well, I didn't realize this, but this is like grand turismo in that it's not like, oh, you know, you go play a quick arcade racing. No, it's, you spend like half hour to fucking an hour per race. And so these guys look at like 40 minutes into a race and he just is like, man, and he's like, oh, hey, you guys remember this trick and he puts on this fucking voice. And then they're like, oh, no, not this fucking guy again. And he spends about to look god, god, god, god, god, god, god, god, god, god, god, I'm reporting you. Just fucking kill yourself. They're so angry because it fucks up. They're like online ranking and stuff. And I think, dude, I remember being a kid losing for the first time in a ranked match and the game was like, yeah, it was like, I'm never going to be fucking angry. I'm going to recover from this. Yeah. And now I'm just like, you know what? I don't want to high rank. I just want the, I was just going to go have fun and maybe ruin someone's day along the process. Oh, it's great. Dude, it's so fun. Well, because like another one I've been watching too, there's this guy, Kel Tech, who goes around and he plays all these like GTA Sims and stuff like that.

1:05:37And there's this one where like people will, it's like they're living in the hood. So who like try and like sell people like, yeah, I'll sell you this car. I'll sell you this house, whatever. So they put like all the money in front on the ground. He grabs it and puts in like a pop tart. And so they go to check it and he's driving away in the car. You just sold them or like, and people, like, yeah, and get out of simulator. And people fucking spend all this time like hustling and getting it. And he just scams the fuck out of him. And then like, what the fuck is this? He drives away. And it's like, damn. And he gets them every time. I can't watch Red Racing at night because I'll wake my wife up. I'll wake the kid up. Like I always, I always start looking at it. And then like 10 seconds and I'm like, no, no, I can't, I can't. I'll laugh to, I'll start laughing to you hard. I love when it looks all normal. And it's like, it looks like the car is almost parked. And then he just, wow. Yeah. And then it's like, yep. Someone's like, get the fuck out of him. Get the fuck out of him. Kill you. It's so fucking killing you. I lose it, man.

1:06:40Yeah, so I'm not surprised that, I'm not surprised that boomers would, you should, I don't know why they even put these studies out. Yeah, boomers hate you. They hate you. They want to kill you. Taxing is, taxing is the least of your problems. Brought to Smith Marlin-Minson. Another woman couldn't put a cap on a container and speak of the devil. Uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh. Uh, the scientist that dropped a test tube with a deadly plague has been identified as Daria Shiplova. Uh, oh, is this the woman that caused the plague in Russia? Is it going to be another COVID? Did it look like a little hamburger in the vial or something? No. Well, why we got so many people fucking around with diseases? Like what is the, what's the thinking here? Man. Huh, so many.

1:07:40Why are so many places fucking around with diseases? It's like when those assholes were fucking around with the demon core, man. At least that is, at least that's heavy. That's how you get in. You got a need a lot of machine to make a nuclear bomb. Heisenberg was trying to make one schlepping a lab to Germany at the end of the war didn't work out, but little little viruses. Yeah, but fucking around with it at night. I mean, like, like, fuck. Fuck. Why do we have, why do we, why are we letting women, why are we letting a 23 year old woman within a hundred yards of a virus getting out? The fuck out of here. Shouldn't even let them within. Shouldn't even be on the planet with St. With a woman. You got any women on your planet? Then you're not having no viruses on that planet. You're not fucking around with any viruses on that planet then. Get out of here. Computer or otherwise. Why is this so important? Why is it so important that we, we can't use them, right? What if that's what she was being used for? Well, we can't have a competition scientist. Fuck this up.

1:08:40Why don't you go do? Yeah, go, hey, uh, Butterfingers, why don't you go in there and fiddle around with COVID-2 that virus we're calling COVID-2 for fun. Hey, Butterball and or fingers. Butterface. You get your butterfingers in there and fuck around with the new virus. With the butter virus. Every time I see anything about viruses like what? Like okay, nuclear bomb, dangerous, nuclear power, save the human race. So obviously we're not going to use it. But fucking around with viruses. What the fuck is this going to do? Am I going to eat a virus? Are you are you using it to wipe out Africa? Because that makes sense. Oh no, that's, oh, that's okay. Sorry for just asking questions. Then what's the reason? I think AC Delco or whatever fucking car battery company has been doing numbers on Africa for quite some time. The recycling. He's got these Somalian kids like shot up a high school or something. High school football game.

1:09:41The cop, there's this funny press conference, this cop that head of the police gives there. He's a black guy. And he's like, yeah, you know, the thing is like these kids are all rich. They all have BMWs. They're all well educated. They just are involved in like tribal warfare from where they come from. So all these like concepts you guys have of well, they just need an education and all these Sesame Street shit. This is not a, this is a different kind of black guy. Okay? It's not what's happening here. Yeah. He's laughing while he's saying it too. He's like, the stuff you guys are saying is not, they have plenty of money. Don't worry, they have all your money. We found what happened to the money. They have it. Are we getting, like, cures? Are we making viruses and then curing them? What's the deal? That's kind of, I think what they do just to be like, well, if there's ever now breaking this, it's like, why does it exist in the first place? How come you guys get to do this and no one else gets to make cool stuff?

1:10:43I bet you they're also spending the same fucking tokens, man. I bet they are spending the same tokens. Fucking. Then I saw OpenAI has like a wet lab. Why are you guys, you guys are obviously doing it just specifically to do evil things. Mm-hmm. I know you're not in it for everybody. Fuck no. No. Bad guys. Okay. It's the bad guy that fucking extravagans are right now, man. We had another leak at a virus lab. Okay, shut them all down then. Curator of them. Make everyone who works there eat all the viruses. How are we going to cure them then? I don't know. Make people wash their hands more. Like just tell them that if you're worse than a pedophile, if you don't wash your hands, say God gets really pissed off if you don't wash your hands. Well for every time you drive your car or without a passenger, there's a Nazi in your passenger seat. Say what's up, man? Yeah.

1:11:44What's up? Yeah, that's why I bought an empty bus to drive around. Uh, Monday's weekly says, talk about the owner of new grounds, Tom Fulpe, deleted Chris O'Neill's account when he was one of the oldest and largest creators of the site. What the fuck is that? Because Chris refused to acknowledge accusations of grooming. Oh God, from an ex-girlfriend, which she later admitted to be untrue. Why would that matter? Why does the last part matter? Yeah, the first part is all she did. Yeah. To still be an active part of new grounds is to have show that you're incapable of moving forward in life. Yes, um, whatever, I don't know. I think rape probably meant rape when I was a kid in the 80s forcibly having sex with someone, penetrating someone.

1:12:44But it stopped meaning that a long time ago. It really did. So much so that I don't even know what the actual, um, I don't even know how big of a problem. The actual problem really is now, because now it just means, um, I, I didn't get what I deserved. I didn't get, I didn't get to go to the party. I thought I fucked these guys to it a time. I thought I would get to go to the next party. That's what I'm in reserve enough. So rape, they rape, they, they gang banged me. Right, they gang raped me. Well, it's, everybody runs with it because they, everybody secretly knows, you know, the people running with it. They know that's what they're being charged of, not getting what I'm in deserving is. And that's really, it's almost, it's, it's a more relatable crime. What rape has become versus what it started. It started it. Oh, you got rape. Like, I really, I mean, I don't know. I, I would not like to be raped, but I can't really put myself in the mind of a victim

1:13:46because I'm not a woman. So I mean, it's funny. You're an abs of me, right? It's not the same. It's just not the same. Well, I was just, but not getting what I'm in deserving of that I get. That's related. Everybody gets that right away. So it's a more, they've taken a horrific crime that you can't really, most people can't really imagine. Most people can't imagine something that hasn't happened to them, you know, so women are not, men definitely can't imagine it. Definitely not breakfast this morning. Exactly. Right? We're not a really imaginative species, you know? Despite, despite all the reading rainbow promotions, really never, imagination only caught on for a couple of people. So they took a crime, they took a crime with a horrific instantaneous punishment. I'm just loosened, loosened it up, right? So it's more relatable. Everybody can relate with not getting what you're owed. I certainly can. Everybody, everybody saying talking about the Cornell gang rape, everybody throwing clavicular or Danny Masterson under the bus, they all get it.

1:14:48Woman had sex. She didn't get what she is in deserving of. And honestly, that's a lot, that's a pretty, everybody involved kind of knows what that is. You knew, oh, thank you. You knew you should have, you knew you shouldn't have kicked her out of the party, but you did it to Curry, you did it for other pussy, right? You did it because, well, this other pussy, this other free pussy over here is not going to come to our fucking party if we get the previous free pussy in. Simple etiquette is all it's required these days. Simple etiquette. Not saying it's like that for everybody, but clavicular too, I think he's getting busted for some rape adjacent crime. Oh, he's the same thing. Dude, say please, and thank you. Sometimes that's not enough. Sometimes you got to throw in the, oh, wow. This is what I really am. Andrew cold sent this. Oh, boy. This is anthrax. You know, all that anthrax shit came from? It was the guy who was running like the labs of defending against anthrax, wanted an

1:15:49ant was getting canceled. So he created an anthrax scare. Then guess what? More funding went to anthrax. He got fired or killed himself for something. He got, I think he killed himself when he got, when the FBI suspected him because he did it, but the department as a whole got funding. You mean I was putting it to privacy? That's that for everyone. Bro, on my hot dogs all these years for fucking nothing? Yeah. What the fuck is this? Friends leg. Let's go. This looks like a clip from a JC penny catalog. All right. Oh. Was this you did your own like packing peanuts or something? This is great. Legos. All right. I don't know. This is ventures with Mario. Some stickers. Cool. Oh, wow. A bunch of Japanese pornography stickers. Is that a gaping butthole sticker? It is. Oh. Wait, just a second. Can't put these up anymore. Oh, yeah. I don't want my son seeing skinny women. I'm not going to exist by the time he grows up.

1:16:52What is this shit that you sent us? Indred cold. This anxiety. Indred cold is dead. And then he's got like a, oh, is a band camp or a team? Okay. Maybe we'll, we will retain. I will redeem. I was rewatching Babylon recently. And there's this part where Margot Robbie is talking about trying to get films and you know trying to get roles and stuff. F*** am I supposed to do with this? It's just a cassette with a Jesus Christ cross on it. Oh, I'll take that. Can you listen to this? I can listen. Okay. All right. Well, Indred cold. Thank you for just a, there's four of them. There's four. So thank you for this first one that's just a cross. What is this? A tape? I don't know. Well, what are you going to say? Oh, so you know, Margot Robbie of all people and she's talking about trying to get roles and the 20s and stuff and she goes, well, you know, they probably say like my voice is

1:17:54stupid and all this and you know that I'm too fat for a lot of roles these. And it was like, man, even back then. I'm going to have always been fat. Even. It's true though. A lot of these, a lot of these problems are caused by, you know, you know what they, you know what they thought they were in deserve enough and you thought you were going to get away with it, which is cool. But women figured that out. They figured out that you could lie. So now they're going to lie. So update your fucking mental model because the free pussy time is not today. They're going to, they're all going to come back and the whole like this, this stick of like taking accountability. That's like, that's like something, that's like a word sell bullshit for retards. That's not the world we live, we're never going to live in that world again. It's, it's you lied. Oh, yeah, I'll show you, I'll show you who's lying. I'll show you who's a big fucking liar.

1:18:55Yeah. Oh, I didn't get what I wanted. You're not going to get what you wanted, Bucko. You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? I'm going to get what you want to bucko. You know what? He's giving me a bunch of cassette tapes, shapes on them. Dude, one, this one's a square. I'm going to listen to all of these cassettes and I will give a review on them. Is this what it looks like inside a cassette? I've never seen inside a cassette before. This one has a heart. Well, this is what we all actually look like on the inside. We're actually record for those of you watching. We're actually recording to this right now. Okay, listen to those and tell me what you think. All right. I'm not buying a, I spent all my money this month on a fucking refrigerator that I don't have. Fortunately, I don't have anything that can't play cassettes. So, you know, my car still has a fucking cassette player in it? How? I don't know. Oh, so I'm looking for a fridge, right? And everything is a nightmare, buying anything is a nightmare because there's a hundred different versions. Yes. And they're all have those fucking generic Chinese fucking AI names.

1:19:55Yeah. Oover or fucking like a dog. Like shit. And I always thought like, you know, like Fucci was funny or like a full-x, co-be. Yeah. Yeah. Just like, I always thought that shit was funny because it's like, yeah, it's obviously fucking fake. Yeah, but now it's now the real. Now, I'm like, wait, is that the Ninja brand one or the fucking, this a good one? The Ninja one, the Quinh Ha one. And it's like, ever I go, it's number one suggestion is always like, it was confusing. It was like, all right, that's the fridge I want. And then you click it and it changes right at the last minute. And it was always trying to pitch me this fridge that had, it was this one I wanted, except it was a slight difference. And it has never melt, slow melt, craft ice. As my wife said me that one first, I'm like, what the fuck is this slow melt, craft ice?

1:20:57And it's like, enjoy your drink for ice, for longer with our craft ice. And look at the picture and it's those stupid balls of ice. It's Chungus ice. And they have a whole, they have a whole special department in the freezer that's cranking out Chungus ice. So it's taking up valuable freezer space to make your mixology, a F-slur, Chungus ice, Chungus sphere ice. And of course, it's the only one that exists everywhere because nobody wants a fucking fridge that makes Chungus ice. I kept getting it in the cart. Is this any Chungus ice on this thing? No, okay. It makes me want to go back to like, I want some asshole to show up with a big ice block every day with the fucking tongue. I've been dreaming of that guy. I've put that in the fridge. My ice box that has none of this other stupid shit in it and just does as advertised.

1:22:02I don't want to see inside of my fridge from the outside. Oh yeah, that's a big one they have too. You could knock on your fridge and see inside. I want the goo fridge if we're doing fucking retarded fridges. A goo that you could reach through? Yeah. Have you seen the old mockups of that? It was like a green goo fridge and just stick your apple in it. Yeah, I want that. That sounds cool. A goo fridge. The green goo fridge sounds cool. I'm sure it would be fucking fingerprinted and covered in dog hair immediately. Oh, here we go. Fart Shatley. What a name. 130 shit. Fart Shatley says advice. Zuma. Zuma feels done, dude. I'm done, dude. Is Air Force an escape from poverty? Is Air Force an escape from poverty? Grammar is an escape from poverty. Salute, dick. I'm nearly 30 years old and I made a lot of lazy decisions combined with bold moves in

1:23:05my 20s. A lazy decisions? You made them lazily or you decided to be lazy. Now I'm facing lower class status forever. Give for a miraculous opportunity. My grandfather served one term in the Navy. Wow. How many cocks can you suck in one term in the Navy? How many days was he there? Pushing papers in New Jersey before going home and becoming a carpenter. He's been doing that ever since. He bought his house for $1,400. $700 of his own money and $700 that his father gave him as a wedding present. The house is now worth $800,000. My father, Jen X, or very early millennial, made a lot of sacrifices to raise my brothers and I alone. He does my age. He went to trade school, mortgaged a two-family home with his mother-in-law. He kept 50% total in a split and busted his butt for 25 years to finally achieve a comfortable

1:24:11lifestyle. He's not as well off as his father was at 50, but he'll probably be all right. It seems like the only way to stay ahead of our money being rapidly burned is to pour it all into highly appreciating assets like real estate or gambling it on insane risks. Many are banking on catastrophic economic upset. Yeah, I mean, houses shouldn't be an investment vehicle. It doesn't make... It's really a shame that they are. It's got to be fixed. They have to either come down or be... Either they're going to come down or they're going to get bought out by private equity because the investment's too big. They got to buy private equity. That would fuck it suck. I don't know. They're not going to do what's good for us, which is in the 30-year mortgage. And deport everyone in America who is not a fan of Seinfeld.

1:25:17Or didn't watch cartoons growing up. Give it to them. They're not going to do those things. So yeah, I don't know. I'm enlisting in the Air Force because I don't know what else to do at this point. Wow. If I want to be raped by my employer at least like to have some job security. Yeah, why not? But the fuck else are you going to do, man? I was thinking that each generation my family has been better prepared than the last, but facing disproportionately more hardship than each prior. I'm not sure if mine has. Each period there. But you're not more prepared. It's such a precipitous climb. It's such a precipitous climb that I can't even tell where my mistakes end and where the mountain begins. I've always heard that taking risks and making mistakes is a good way to spend that decade. I personally know two people who gained more than they lost, except for military guys who are all better off than everyone else. It is, if Caleb Hammer's show has done anything is to highlight just how rich you can get

1:26:20by doing nothing in the army. Joining the army, digging around, filing paperwork for a couple of years, and then getting out and gaming this, getting in some kind of system gaming group, finding other parasites in the army who can team up and teach you how to work the system. It really is an incredible amount of money for those kinds of people. Which, why not? They're giving it to Somalis anyway. The only choice you have is to steal as much as possible, to stay even with all the other parasites. You become a fucking aviation engineer in the process. Yeah, there you go. That's cool. Well, those army guys will give jobs to each other. They really... Yeah, when you do private security afterwards, it's like... Yeah. Whatever you go to the private sector afterward, it's like a lot of money that we made there. They really understand the difference between in group and out group.

1:27:20Army guys, go figure. I know two people who've gained more than they lost, except for military guys who are better off than everyone else. I'm enlisting in the military welfare machine after getting lied to by incompetent student aid advisers and losing what I was able to save for college in exchange for eight credits. I got an exceptionally high ASVAB score. What's ASVAB score? ASVAB score. ASVAB, vagina and butt. You got incredible... Exceptionally high ASVAB score. Of course. Over your ASVAB scores. I didn't even know that was a metric until two seconds ago. Hello. Across all categories and qualified to do any job I want. Is this a military thing? I got exceptionally high ASVAB scores across all categories and qualified to do any job I want. Even a blowjob. He's going for the factory, man.

1:28:22Besides milking the VA and talking to other military guys to work the system for all the benefits I can, what field should I go into? I don't fucking know. Fly plains. You going in the air force? Fly fucking plains around. Just go into like a strawberry field, like a corn field, like a flower field. Really any kind of field you feel like, man. Pretend to be retarded so you can get in with Biden's, like, we're hiring retarded and women, uh, edict. Right. Sign up for the Knights of Columbus. Retarded children can be helped. Yeah. Just say you want to be a retarded pilot. Well, field should I get into the military? Once you get into the scam, those guys, they got it. They got it down, man. Once you're in, dude. Once you're in with those military scammers, you are in. I'd like to be an interpreter or a similar intelligence rate. What does that mean? Similar intelligence rate. But do you think it's a better idea? You want to be an interpreter? I'm sitting there listening to shit all day.

1:29:24Do the sign language fucking fake bullshit? Yeah. Man. Interpreter. Why do you want to be an interpreter? Like, fucking Naomi. What's? Campbell, which one's the white one? Black one's Naomi Campbell, right? Yeah, this guy wants to listen to people all day. You want to listen to people all day? Talk about, lie to each other? What the fuck is the point of being an interpreter? Just going to be a Humvee Mechanical out in the desert, man. Is an interpreter an important job? You don't think that's going to be replaced by AI? Right. I think that one's going to go faster than a lot of the other ones. Or similar intelligence rate. I don't know what that means. But do you think it's a better idea to just go after bigger, hiring bonuses or particularly, man, I don't know, fucking anything about military shit? I know they get a lot of free money. That's about it. Is this a sign I need to be more confident and go after a better career outside of the military? Maybe just do one thing.

1:30:24First, get in the military to do well, do whatever they've. Man. Yes, say yes, sir. Let's go for it. 30 in the military. Wow. That's going to be older than everybody else. Man. You got to come up with good nicknames for people in the military. You have to act like you've been on the planet logger. Because if you come in the same rate as everyone else, they're going to eat you up. They're going to eat you up. They're going to chew you up, man. To crush your bones and make them bread. You got to come in and start busing balls right away. Mm-hmm. You know, call everybody out right away. So they respect you, like prison. I act like a work at a wrecking yard all day. So I fucking immediately, I see the whites of someone's eyes coming around the hall and I fucking make sure they turn back around. I'm just ass mad about being poor and stupid, I suppose. Well, the military's perfect for you then. I don't even know what advice I need to hear this broke and helplessness in a common sentiment

1:31:25at any bar I've been in. Well, you know, probably among alcoholics, being a victim is probably something they, you're going to hear a lot there. Wee, Zoomers are grossly unprepared and disenfranchised. I mean, you're not really, it's just that all your money was taken and given to illegals. If the country was just locked down. If the country had been locked down for 60 years, everyone would be filthy rich. Everyone would be filthy fucking rich. Electricians would be making $500,000 a year. Plenty of money to go around. Plenty of houses to go around. They wouldn't cost the fucking fortune. They wouldn't cost a million dollars because you're not competing with the entire world to buy them. You might as well hook into, I'm older than you, so I'm, you know, I don't need to. I don't have a choice. I can't hook in early. I don't have a lot of runway left where I'm going. If you're younger, if you're younger,

1:32:26then yeah, you got to hook into the welfare machine somehow. Somebody's getting welfare. Every company's getting it. Every group's getting it. You got to hook in somewhere. I'm just asking what this broken, help Zoomers are underprepared and disenfranchised. If I did this 10 years ago, I'd be that much further ahead. Oh, don't worry. You'll never get as far ahead as you want in life. Think of guys like, Man, you get it 20 years ago. You could have joined the military at 10. Yeah. Then you'd be like a doogie houseer. Well, think about shit like this, right? Like think of like the salt and a brunette or like war and buffet. They never stop acquiring more money. They're like, damn, I gotta go make some more. And it's like, what the fuck do you need? So no matter what dude in your pathetic life and my pathetic life and everyone's pathetic life, fucking you're never gonna be as cool or as good or... You're still gonna be a loser. You're still gonna be a loser. You've been a loser even if you did it 10 years ago. Yeah, it's because you're you actually.

1:33:26That's why. You've been a gay retarded loser then too. Yeah, dude. No matter what era you think you belong, Ben. You're still a loser. Still fucking a shark. Still ending up at bars, talking to fucking. Other fucking weirdos. Other failures. Yeah. Drink it home dude. There's probably some older people there too. If I would have started 50 years ago, you know how... Yeah, you're gonna be at the bar 10 years from now, Zana. I should have started 10 years ago. I started going to the bar 10 years ago. Oh, why did I do that? Why did I go to the military? I should have stayed here with you guys. You're my real friends. Oh man, I've been at the bar and heard those conversations and been like, I gotta get the fuck out of this bar. I heard why am I drinking on Tuesday. Oh man, I'm gonna leave in the end. I'm a loser for not figuring it out sooner. I guess, yeah. I guess, yeah. If you want. Please, Johnny, give Shawn my smooches at the next audio engineer conventions.

1:34:26Love your, go fuck yourselves. Yours truly fart Charlie. All right, that's the show. Let's do some, let's do some voicemails and then brain rot. Oh. Is that thing? Yeah, you know what, surprise that. Merlachic got a lot of hate after the last trip. After the last trip. I hope it's gonna get a lot of love. People who don't like him, I really don't like him. Ready. I don't know why. Polarizing figure. They think he's lying. I think he can't lie. You guys not understand that. He's like George Washington. Yeah. Have you heard him try to lie? Those stories that he tries to tell? That's what it sounds like when he's quote unquote lying. Just totally fantastical, disconnected elements of a network that exists somewhere in his head. So he cannot explain. The part he's lying about is that it's someone else's shit and vomit. It's his.

1:35:27So I get why it is. Like, do you guys not, what do you think social services is? Do you think it's like normal? Do you think it's full of a lot of normal people? No, it's not. This guy is Foster's free. He's been in fucking foster care for so long. Yeah. He is the, he is the result of coming up in the system. Uh-huh. He's lying about what? About having a fetish for drawing wonder bread and women with change. You think that's a lot? Do you think that's a bit that he's doing? Yeah. Are you so cynical that you think there's like thousands of this obsession that he has? You think that's he's lying about that? Because I got news for you. That's related. Directly related to other, the other things that he's going through. Just because he talks like normal. He doesn't talk like he's, you know, a fentanyl, a bomb on the street, ranting and jibbering. I mean that he's normal like you. See, talks like you. They mean that he's like you.

1:36:29Many replicants are not. Yeah. How can you not see that he's lying? Yeah. OK. You think nobody's, you think nobody's ever got their eyes clad out by a hooker before? Just walk through Hollywood. Uh-huh. But OK. You don't like him. All right. Visit a half way. Don't please don't explain it. Visit the cleanest halfway house you can find. And there's still like a billion times dirtier than you could possibly ever hope to have been. Like it's so derelict that it truly is wild. Hey, this is a logic guy. Here we go. Is the worst. What a decrepit disgusting brands of the old past. Somehow he is more annoying than that fat pig, Riley. Oh boy. Right. There you go. I'm going to break one that comes out of the camera.

1:37:30You know what I noticed that the biggest problem is that the reddit really only pops off when there's a Riley thread. Since I left the show, really, there's only attention when Riley's name gets product. And other than that, it's pretty dead. So I don't know. I think there might be something to it. You know, it's something for the first time is an entire life. I can put it some useful. And you remind them it will make me a rage. You see that? Like 49 fucking times in the phone call that should have ended after two minutes for the record. Holy fucking shit. But it's people that are fucking say shit like, I don't know how to explain this. They say shit like literally somebody, this guy who told me that he's never seen somebody throw a ball as far as me as I did. You know, you think he's bragging?

1:38:33It's never logic is bragging about throwing a ball. Yeah, but no one's throwing a ball as far as me. I'm gonna say you're used to what is the Uncle Rico in you. Yeah, you think he's pulling one over on us? Like, bragging shit. But somebody else told me this. He literally pulled me one time. I am the cutest boy. He's ever. He's the real I'm except that he was the cutest boy. He wishes his daughter was attractive enough to marry me. Oh, I don't think that about myself. Actually for the record, more on the topic, somebody told me that I leave the best of voice spells like of all pride. Wow. You know, I don't know if I'm that good but, you know, that's what I was told. Anyway, that's it. So I get out of the spider in my car. Panicking. Panicking because of the spider in his car. Man, spider man called, we got Aquaman.

1:39:34We got spider man. Oh, I do see an Aquaman call. Oh, I see three. How long is the Aquaman calls? What? Three minutes, another three minute call. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Aquaman has got three minutes, one minute, four minutes, 40 seconds. OK. Hey, the call from the Dick Sucking Warehouse right now. And I've been listening to the show for the beginning. You have some screwballs calling in, Ben Sue. But it seems like now it's only booking pencil case at the Long Non-Johnny's brain of a, again, laughing a lot for Matt as pretty funny. But anytime podcasts, process like impulse in, I know it's going to be some bullshit. Anyway, hopefully you have coached like on at some point. I know you guys both every kids just go fucking so. People are grown up, man. People are. I know this. I know it's like fun. But people are old now.

1:40:37I thought that was podcast profit. Oh, no. Actually. Fuck. There's no more. Coach is not calling in or whatever you think is happening is not happening is not ever. And it frankly would be weird if it did happen. Of all people have bring coach. Yeah. No, that's not whatever you, whatever makes you expect that that's like a possibility. Fix it. Fix it in your head. It's not normal. Yeah, what I'm saying is not like Frazier. Oh, I wonder if Sam is going to be in this one. Oh, Woody is shown up for this episode of Frazier tonight. Yeah, we'll just write it back in. Thanks for the suggestion. Thanks for the suggestion. I wonder what Zany thinks he'll do when he stops in on this episode. I look off to the writing department and see if they caught that. Right.

1:41:38Well, he's saying it's not real. No, that was a good one. I like that one. That was good. Oh, Sam is getting married and in Seattle. He'll be back. He'll be back. I mean, he's coming back. He would look if they were on here once and means they're coming back. You don't know the rule of all media ever. See what happened was there was a lot of people. Now that all those people are gone. Yeah, they had kids and grew up. It's like some of them are dead. That's like fucking super smash bros roster around here. Oh, I just fucking every. Okay. Yeah, what up Dick? What up Johnny? Yeah.

1:42:38So we'll make some kind of a rage. It's just a goodbye to a girl. She came over just to hook up and she's like one of those people who lingers. That's my rage is like women who linger and they very long goodbyes after it's clear that it's just clear that all I want is to be alone now. She better be careful. Fuck you guys. Anybody in prison? If you don't let her linger. You will be enjoying prison. If you don't let that bitch linger around waste your time, you go on straight to jail. I think the cranberries had a song about that, right? Well, it was a you don't have to let it linger. You do. You're going to get your ass plowed in prison. The same way you plowed that ass. Trying to leave a third voice male. Oh, great. Okay. What's the first one? Two minutes man. Is this like the podcast voice line? Rockwell man's brother.

1:43:40Dude, this isn't even the Aquaman one. I know. I'm like, that's like we got the gang band guy too calling in. Oh my god. All right. Oh, all of our faces. Wow. All right. Here we go. Lock in. I've got a rage with noisy, nosy, nosy noise neighbors. Let's go with that. So the family that lives next door recently moved out and a white couple has moved. She had a lot of it. We've seen it. It's not just in which is so much worse. I was going outside to Snocus Garen, the front patio. I see them. She's out there. Some women hate it. Some lady out there watering the plants that she just put in and big planters. She comes over and says, Hi, are you? Are you one of the people that lives here? I say nice guys. Nice guys. I hope. Yes. I live here. And she asks me, do you?

1:44:40But did you say I sure hope so? Because now that's asking for it. Yeah. If you're getting into this chunga shit, you cannot give them an inch, because you're giving like water cooler, office type humor. This is on you. It's not quite a shop humor, because shop humor is one way. That's for me to laugh at everyone else. Like that's... You live here? Oh, sure hope so. Yeah. And the Bob Morgan's not a hope so. Yeah. The correct response is, what's it to you? What do you know why? Yeah. Who's asking you to know that? Yeah. You think when, in my words, not her words, when you start the motorcycle at night, it's very loud. It is loud. So you please keep it down. No, I have to go to work. What the fuck do you mean? When I start, when we start our motorcycles, to go to work, it's too loud. Our motorcycles. Fucking sorry. What do you think?

1:45:40Dude, this guy... What do you mean a motorcycle gang? This guy's like a skeleton with like a flame eyeballs, smoking cigars, and fucking riding his Harley into work. It's the share zone admin we're on the phone with, right now holy shit. Is this Mr. Bones? It's... Dude, the ride never ends. What, what hour motorcycles? You got a gang of motorcycle men? Mr. and Mrs. Bones. You got two gay guys living there, both with motorcycles. They're starting their bikes at work. They're bone bikes? Or bone bikes? You got two motorcycle skeletons there, starting your bone bikes in the middle of the night. Fucking bunch of bone puns, and no wonder your neighbor's pissed. Skeletrics and the bony's, revving up your bikes in the middle of the fucking night. No wonder your neighbor's pissed. Playing bony, James is full blast goddamn. You know, own cars. We just have motorcycles. Who's the fuck is your problem? Do you see a car in the driveway?

1:46:42The motorcycle's problem. No, it's multiple motorcycles. Everyone who lives here drives a motorcycle. Fuck you. That's a lot of motorcycles. I'm just waiting for the third reason. The motorcycle door, which is what white neighbors always do, and every fucking place I've lived. They just leave you anonymous letters that ask you to leave your trash. Yeah, because why the government? Not on the curb, because it looks bad, or shit like that. Stop. Don't do that. If you do that, fuck you. Just go knock on the door and say, hey, could you start your car quieter? I promise it'll go better for you than if you leave them a letter taped to their door. Fucking hell. He's in some kind of gay motorcycle gang, I think. Like a furry. He's either got a ZX7 or like a R6. Don't pretend like you're starting your motorcycle and like going off to work. You're in there going like, boom, boom, boom,

1:47:42you and your fucking pals. Boom, boom, boom, boom, we all know. I'm not gonna fucking do so under fucking motor. Like, come on. You're pissed. You gotta go to work at night. It's fine. It's a simple request. Can you stop revving your motorcycles, you and your bone brigade. Fucking bone brothers over there. Can you stop revving your skeletal cycles? Off on their way to the work at the oil rig all day, fuck. When you go to work at the haunted house, he's next. I'm sorry to leave two voice mails. But you wouldn't have left it to me. I'm sure. These are not loud motorcycles. These are normal, reasonable, small models of motorcycles. They're very, not that fucking loud. One of them is very quiet. And the other one is not that loud. So the other one is not fucking big haunt the V8 motorcycles. We're regular ass motorcycles. And we're not reviving in the neighborhood. Got it. Damage. Fucking history. He's got the V8. If I ever see one quiet motorcycle guy,

1:48:45I'll walk up and give him a cigar. He go. You're the first quiet motorcycle guy ever. See, he gave himself his own cigar because he thought he was that. I'm sorry to leave a third voice mail about motorcycle. No, it's saying it is the next day now. And my roommate just drove his motorcycle into the living room. So maybe she has a point. I think. Do you have anything to say for yourself? What? Hello, everyone. Symbios, Riley. What? Okay. All right. All right. That was 3 a.m. 3 a.m. And 7 p.m. the next day. Damn. Okay. Who's that, command? Hey, Dick K. Dunney. I am fucking exhausted right now. So I'm going to make less sense than I normally do if you can fucking believe it. When it rains, it pours. You hear my fucking swishy pants? I'm already off to it. I'm off to a great start. With the fucking, okay. Everything is happening all at once. Losing toxic friendships, moving into a new place.

1:49:47Got a new job starting next week. I have no sense of stability or security. I don't know where fucking anything is. It's a doll in boxes. Jesus Christ. Okay. So lastly, to have a loose acquaintance, a trans man with bipolar disorder. If you can fucking believe that. Yeah. He was like, man, I fucking hate being autistic and no one ever fucking says what they mean. Do you want to hang out? I'm lonely. And I was like, okay, here's my opportunity to fucking put my money where my mouth is. When you say, come hang out, I'm lonely. And you freeze it like that. It makes me feel a little pressured. Like I didn't literally say this, but it feels like you're gonna kill yourself if I don't like that. Oh, no. Aquaman, you have reached root depths. That's like locking your car door when you see a black guy. Your trans friends, is there a lonely? Like, oh, are you gonna kill yourself? I was just gonna go ahead and make it not obvious

1:50:47that I'm crossing the street right now. Trans man, though, it's a woman. Yes. Yeah, so they're not gonna kill themselves. Right. It's all the star-releast nieces to me. So the trans man is feeling lonely and wants a company. That's what's happening here. The man is reaching, yeah, right. Wow. And he was like, don't you fucking like wow, dude? Don't you fucking dare put your own shit on me. Like, good luck man, just like a blockade. I was like, all right, cool. And then, friend group, I've been fucking talking about. The aforementioned stat bitch, fucking ghosting me for an entire goddamn month. And fuck her, we'll coward boyfriend too. That's a shit. Only thing necessary for evil to flourish is a good man doing nothing, that whole thing. Bitch, you're fucking ghosting me. She can't make her boundaries clear. She can't enforce her boundaries. I was like, hey, cool boundaries and all that. Yeah, I've been apologetic because I've been the wrong to start with, but like, I don't fuck with ghosting.

1:51:50I know where you go into a show tonight. I'm gonna be at that show. I'll see you tonight. If you can't confront me, you don't deserve my friendship. Then she blew the fuck up. And was just like, ghosting doesn't mean shit, dude. I ghosted my grandma. It's like, okay, maybe you fucked your grandma too. That doesn't fucking make it right. Stupid bitch. What is ghosting means you never talk to them again, right? Yeah. Are they saying ghosting like you didn't respond to my text in time? It sounds like that's what aquaman's problem is. That's not ghosting. That's just like doing other shit. Yeah. Well, I guess let's see. You know, I get to do whatever you want. Just because you fucking need space, you get to fucking have band of people. But whatever, right? I feel that you have to forgive them for other than not what they do. I want you to know. No, no, no, no. You can do a new job. I've been unemployed for three months. Three goddamn months. I got a new job in three days. I've left like four hours the past couple days in a row. I mean, dick yet, but one four hours and the fucking year stuff.

1:52:51I got to fucking tell you that's like shit hurts. My whole body hurts. I'm walking around a new neighborhood. And I don't know where I am. And, okay, just fucking hell you have this right. And I fucking hide fucking times. Holy shit. I'm saying this in real life. I laugh. How much? I'm going to crackers. I get a little sugar in me. Kill yourself. Goodbye. Okay, it's called back again. Yeah. Hey, doing the bit is funny. He's giving the people what they want. I just it how I am. I'm not doing it on purpose. Fuck me. Jesus. I really. I'm not going to end up in this fucking psych ward for this shit. Got them. I think so. I appreciate the advice genuinely. My ego is very fragile. Very rejection sensitive, but I'm going to get over myself. Rahul.

1:53:52Yeah, there's a no filter here. Everyone's too fucking nice. I mean, like that's why all the situations I'm ending up in is because people are too fucking nice to like tell me hey fuck off of the head. You're the like genuinely genuinely. I appreciate the fuck out of this. Your show and your advice like sitting on me. I need it. I need it. I'm sure I could just make shit up for another fucking two minutes, but I. I don't know. Probably longer than that. Love you. Bye. I get another call. Let's see what this one was. Fucking Patrick. I think this was three of the Patrick. I think anyway fucking boundaries all this therapy pseudo therapy buzzword shit. I mean, it's up to you to enforce your fucking boundaries. There are if you don't want someone to touch your fucking no no bits. You have to say the word no and fucking clap them. Otherwise, you're going to get S.A. And that's no good. You don't want that. Yeah. I mean, you should resort to that. I'm drowning. I'm fucking drowning.

1:54:53This is the Joker. You're fucking man's gone. You're fucking in the Moan. You're fucking Samoa, homo. Okay. All right. Okay. Aquaman came from the depths and got Johnny's brain. That's right. Last question. Johnny's name. Oh, you got to have a topic. Do you? Aquaman. Hearing him say he's doing the bit talking about himself was like, oh, bad touch. He comes self aware. I forget what I even titled this one, but this I'm sure it's going to be. Slime thief. Oh, the slime thief. All right. So this lady is at this museum and she thinks it would be a good idea to see how the jokingly steal the slime. Okay. I think there's audio too. It's a black woman with some kids. Oh, I see what's happening here. Okay. She's at a kids museum. And she got the slime all over sweater. Yeah, she made it to me to joke like she's going to pick it all up and walk away with

1:55:54it and it fucking absolutely probably destroyed the slime too. All the fucking fiber in there. What is this slime museum? Dad, I have no fucks like quicksand for them. Yeah. Trapped. I think it trapped. All right. What's next? So this is my new favorite sport. I think you might like this one too, Dick. Definitely get the audio with this one. I think there was good audio on there. It's a two fat bitches doing a tug of war. They're in like a rodeo ring and these fat chicks are tied to each other by a rope around their waist and they're both trying to run to a chair on the opposite ends of the stadium. It's like a tortoise pole instead of a tractor pole. It is a tortoise pole. Oh, wow. The one is hit the dirt. The other one's still trying going through like a tranquilized bear just lurching. Oh, God. I mean, you just can't pull that amount of mass that the one has.

1:57:00I bet them knees were barking afterward. Look at that angle on there. That's got to be at least what 50 degree angle. Is this church? Is that what they're doing here? If it is, I'm signing up. A bunch of Mexicans wearing cowboy hats, of course. So it could be in Texas. Yeah. It could be in Texas. There's a Hindu statue in the background. I would like to see this. I would love to see this. A tortoise pole. Look, the slap fighting was funny for like two seconds. This is what it is. This is a sport. You have a bracket system. You get like 16 of the fatest bitches you know. Oh, I heard them off. The bracket system just to hold them in. Yeah. You know, have a pole. So yeah. The winner gets like a pack of hot dogs. You can eat hot dogs. A whole cooler full of salamis. That's what's at the end of each stadium. The winner gets both coolers. Put a bungee cord around their waist and go. You run. Back me fucking. Yeah. Exercise band.

1:58:00Like the old resistance band. Like in the goonies when he fucking the brothers working out in the beginning. Oh, this is good. That would be good. Okay. I'd watch the shit out of that. So this one's a couple hiking events. I sent this one to Manny immediately. This is a bunch of black people lying down. So the other ones are like. Yeah. So they're falling up with them. You start with the egg. Oh. In the Fupa region. And you're jo- Oh. Shift the egg all the way up to her mouth. Okay. It's a couples game. Yeah. How's that for a little team building exercise? But the fat ones, they get a really push this egg over there. Yeah. And the whole thing is disgusting. Couples hiking events? More than just a hike, you see. A journey for your relationship. Basically just getting like a bunch of fat people to try and touch each other's again. It's pretty disgusting. Yeah.

1:59:00Looks pretty disgusting. But the way, if you notice, there's a shit ton of people in all of these and I can't help but think. Maybe an Air Force guy. He should just be an event coordinator. Yeah. They can't be doing much hiking. That's what my first thought was too. I was like, is the mountain their wives? These look like parks. Right. That they're in. They're not hiking. This is why I'm CA. They're all on Florida. Does every video have the same song? Same fucking Marvin Gaye song. Yeah. Oh no, I just randomly picked one that did. Okay. Last couple of hiking. A new sport from Mexico. I call this self-regulation. This is two Mexicans smacking each other with whips. Wow. And it's like a sport or something. Yeah, it looks like a fun sport I guess.

2:00:08I mean, I'd watch that. Are they going through each other's faces? I don't know. There's a deal here. But they're being awfully nice about letting each other take turns. If someone was whipping me, I would rip the shit out of it. And this is like the noise is running in this guy. You can skip all the balls. Dude, fucking the new sport of Tortapole and Blood-Tortapole again. That's a winner. That's a, dude. Winner winner, fucking carne asada dinner, man. I got to put out like a tryout. Tortapole, tryouts today. We could just go to the bottom of the hill. Yeah, today in the Super King parking lot. Tortapole, you knew Univision show hosted by Carlos Mencia. Here's the semi-finals. Tryout.

2:01:08I would watch that. I don't know if it's a trucker. The trucker. The smell or Carlos Mencia. Man, that'd be a good show. Dude, they would need the whole fleet of the Univision trucks just to even capture the event. Can I use AI for this? For my, I really, I want real people to do it though. Yeah. I don't want AI. Yeah. Alright, everybody. See you next time. See you.