EP 3852Your Identity and beliefs set your reality

0:00Hey guys welcome to today's podcast today's episode. Your identity and belief sets your reality. So I was talking yesterday's podcast about running from fear leading to misery. This is very much a part of that. Whatever your identity or belief is about yourself, that thing is absolutely going to set your reality. So if you believe that you are someone that's unlucky, someone who never gets what they want, someone who is always in a challenging situation. If you believe you are someone that nobody really cares about, if you believe you are someone that nobody will ever truly love. If you believe you are unlucky, if you believe that you never can get what you want, if you believe that nobody really cares about you, whatever the version is, I'm not already said that, then that's true. And alternatively, if you believe, if you are someone that's like I always meet people who treat me really well, everybody in my life sees me for who I am, people always appreciate me. I'm someone that always learns lessons from

1:01difficult things. I'm someone that can always see the positives. I'm someone who could always find the solution to my problems. Then either of those sets of identities, one very negatively focused, one very positively focused. How you set that identity and belief system in yourself is what is absolutely going to determine your outcome. So if you set the identity and belief system in yourself in a negative sense, then that particular activating system in your brain, it's going to find all the evidence that supports and confirms and strengthens your negative outlook and your negative perspective. If you have the positive framing, then it will do the opposite. So that's why the identity you have in the belief you have in yourself and how you consider, talk about, think about yourself, is absolutely going to determine your outcomes, it's absolutely going to determine your life, it's going to determine what matters to you, what doesn't, what you create, what you don't. And I've gone from someone who had quite a negative perspective. Now I have an extremely positive one. And one of the people helped me learn this was my mom,

2:03when she was sick, through her whole life, she had quite a negative perspective. And then at the end of a life I was like that, was fucking miserable for her. I don't want to do that. Another person has been my girl's mom, my daughter's mom, who in my opinion is pretty combative, a difficult person. And I've got to the point of going instead of being, oh my god, this sucks, it's not fair. She treats me badly or whatever. I'm like, she's absolutely someone I'm grateful for, being my best teacher and I've learned my best lessons. Because every difficult situation I've been, I am ever in, teach me great lessons and helps me be a better person. Any problem that I come up against, I can always find a solution, I can always find the way through it. And a lot of that belief system comes from me having dealt with the challenge and difficulty with the girl's mom, for instance. A lot of my ability to look at things my positive is having dealt with my mom being quite a negative person. Going through the PTSD depression blow away on the cops, I came out of that being, oh poor me, it's so hard and just been a sad tack. Then I got to the point of going, well this is bullshit. And I switched it, it certainly wasn't

3:06overnight, it certainly wasn't instantaneous and it certainly didn't happen easily. But I switched it to go, I'm someone who always focuses on the positive things in my life and does the things work for me. And somebody that always ends up in a better position than they are in. Every difficulty that I encounter is a step towards a more positive and amazing life. And as I keep leaning into these mindsets and these belief systems, as I keep doing these types of things in my life, guess what? My life fucking improves dramatically. My life ends up pretty freaking amazing. And I end up happy and things just develop in my resilience and my ability to push you difficulty increases. I get a stronger mind, I get more intuitive and more committed to my belief systems and things just snowball in a positive sense where I live my life in a far better outcome or a far better mindset that leads to a far better outcome. And that's all because of the identity and the belief that I have about who I am and what happens to me. I'm not someone that thinks, oh life so hard and sucks, it's not fair, I could be. I could easily have that mindset.

4:09I went through, you know, I grew up with mum and dad got divorced and my dad wasn't very much and my mum was really negative and there was all these challenges and dead at that and then I got to the place where I'm PTSD and depression and then I got married to someone and that didn't work out and I went through family cord and I didn't see my daughters for years and life's really hard and I'm like, oh fuck I made some bad choices but Jesus I taught me some great lessons and now I'm really happy because of the lessons that I've learned as a result of those things. Which one of those two stories is true? Which everyone I fucking believe? There's an old Indian proverb that was about there's a light wolf and a dark wolf in us. The light wolf being the happy positive version, the dark wolf being the negative angry destructive version and this Indian chief is talking to a young Indian brave and says there's two wolves inside you, explains that and the Indian brave goes well which wolf wins that fight and the Indian chief goes whichever one you feed. So if you believe your life sucks and you feed the wolf that believes it sucks and you feed the negativity and the destructive mindset and you feed the poor me it's so hard bullshit then

5:13it's going to suck. If you feed the fuck life's amazing and look at great opportunities and I've been through some difficulties but it's really taught me to be a better person and have a better outlook and create more amazing shit of my life then that's the one that grows. If I didn't go through PTSD and depression all that shit I wouldn't have this fucking business I wouldn't be talking to you I wouldn't be on this podcast oh sorry yeah that's my podcast but I wouldn't be creating this podcast. So that was absolutely worthwhile because I love this and I love helping you I love try to impact you I love try to be somebody who makes a positive impact on your life and that wouldn't have happened if I didn't go through the challenge or difficulty I wouldn't have any of the knowledge of how to deal with this shit if I didn't go through challenge and difficulty. My life is fucking great and there is still a shitload I want to change and improve or so not change a shitload of things I want to improve both those things can be true or I could be like oh you know my life's really hard I still I don't have a loving partner and you know I don't

6:16see my oldest daughter I didn't see my youngest daughter and that's really hard and my mum died a few months ago that was really hard or I could be like my mum died that was really sad but I had a lot of time or third to really have some beautiful connection let a lot of lessons out of that my youngest daughter came back and saw me after years and I'm sure my oldest daughter will come back at some point so that's really positive and you know I've been in over the last 14 years in two relationships with two amazing women who I still respect and care for very deeply that taught me some awesome lessons and me then and we just evolved to the point of understanding those relationships won't going to be long term but taught me great things and now I know I really know the sort of person I want in my life I know it's important to me I know who I want to be I know what the values are and go fuck that's just some great lessons that I learned through that process with those two people which of those two sets of stories is true whichever one I fucking believe and so many people are stuck in this heart sucks and lives hard and it's not fair and blah

7:18blah blah whatever bullshit you just kill yourself in that negative misery mindset whatever you believe is true about you is true whatever your identity is is true whatever your belief system about what happens to you or for you is true if your life happens for you you're happy if it happens to you you're a victim your choice things will happen she will go wrong people will fuck you over or try to people will treat you badly or try to you will make mistakes it's not going to be perfect but it's either happening for you or to you you're either learning from or being destroyed by your choice all of that whichever one you believe whichever one you focus on whichever wolf your feet is the one that gets stronger and if you're going to while I win your own self pity and misery you're going to be fucking miserable and pitiful and it's harsh but it's true it doesn't matter what happens you will determine the sort of person you're going to be in your life you will determine what the outcome will be you will determine whether you're happy or not you will determine all of the above and if you want to be happy then you have to focus on what the great

8:24things are if you want to have a positive outlook you have to focus on what's positive if you want to change your life and the things around you then you have to be able to believe that things can change and they can be better and if you don't have that belief if you don't have that drive if you don't have that ability then you'll be fucking miserable and everything around you will suck and you will feel really sad and you will feel as though nothing works out for you when you'll be anner um chances not just what you want to talk there nobody will want to around you and you will be lonely and miserable and live in your fucking misery and you will get to a point in your life where you will be like, see, a new life was going to be hard and my answer to that will be, of course it was because you fucking believed it would. And equally if you believe your life could be amazing then guess what, that will be what happens. And you might have to fake it to your make it, you might have to fucking hashtag, blast Instagram, life, best life, ever until you believe it. You might have to just be some putrid, toxically positive person for a period of time to balance out your negativity. Or maybe you could just pull your finger out of your ass, do a bit of work, meditate,

9:25read some positive things, listen to podcasts, educate yourself, stop being so sad. Either one of those is a probable, probably positive outcome if you focus on it. I can't change your life, I can't change a fucking thing for you. All I can do is try and point you in the direction and tell you what work for me. And then if you don't decide to do it, if you decide to stay miserable and stuck in your life awesome because I win then because I'll be happier than you are and everybody knows life's a competition. That last bit was sarcasm, but not really. So I don't know, what do you think? Is it worth putting the effort into being a positive, being positive or would you rather be a miserable negative motherfucker for the rest of your life and then lie in your death, being your sea life sucked? And you had 80 years that proved it. That to me sounds like a freaking horrible way to live your life. But you do you, boo. Talk to you tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Always remember, if you want the results you have to do the work.

10:29If you want to know more about how I can help you and my story, go to www.thestronglifeproject.com.