Do you truly know how to pray? A prayer primer with Msgr. John Esseff Discerning Hearts Podcast

0:00ThecerningHearts.com presents building a kingdom of love, reflections with Munsenior John Esif. Munsenior Esif is a priest of the diocese of Scranton, Pennsylvania. He has served as a retreat direct rank professor to St. Teresa of Calcutta. He continues to offer direction and retreats for the sisters of the missionaries of charity. Munsenior Esif encountered St. Padre Pio who would become a spiritual father to him. He has lived in areas around the world serving in the Pontifical Missions, a Catholic organization established by Pope St. John Paul II to bring the good news to the world especially to the poor. He continues to serve as a retreat leader and director to bishops, priests and sisters, seminarians and other religious leaders. Building a kingdom of love, reflections with Munsenior John Esif. I'm your host, Chris McGregor. What's on your

1:00heart today, Munsenior? I'd say for the 364 days including today I have taught prayer. That is that's what I do. Every day prayer is like Pekinigarden. If you don't know the simple rules of prayer you're not going to be able to pray and every child that's listening to us especially if you're five or six you know how to pray. It's in you. The hardest ones that I have to teach are religious priests. They find it very difficult. I think marrying people as maybe a little easier but as soon as you get to be an adult it's so hard to break through that self-reliance and those walls and caves that we put up and barriers but the simplicity that children have and the ease with which we can

2:03come. There is no prayer without presence of God or else you wind up just talking to an open window. If you just start your prayers our Father Hale Mary or the Rosary or even go to Mass what are you doing unless you are in the presence of the one whom you love and care for. So the first part of learning to pray is always to begin with the presence of the other and so often when Jesus would go away he would be filled with distractions just like we are as a human. He would get away from the crowd and he would have to be alone and he would and he sought places of solitude and he sought places of silence so find a place like that in your house and wherever you are to be with him in that

3:04solitude in that silence. When you arrive at that place of rendezvous where you are going to meet and prayer his conversation with God many of us just wind up with meditation and we don't have the relationship with the Lord. There is a story that Jesus tells it's in the 25th chapter of Matthew's Gospel and I would like to read it because how do we get ready for the presence of God and this parable he tells in the 25th chapter the first 10 verses. Then the kingdom of heaven will be like 10 virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones when taking their lamps brought no oil with them but the wise brought flasks of oil along with their lamps since the bridegroom was long and

4:10delayed and all became drowsy and fell asleep at midnight there was a cry. Behold the bridegroom is here come out and meet him then all the virgins got up and went out. The foolish ones said give us some of your oil to the wise ones because our lamps are going out but the wise virgins replied no we may not have enough for us in you go to those who sell the oil. While they were went out to buy the oil the bridegroom came and went into the wedding feast then the doors were locked and afterwards the other virgins came and said Lord Lord open the door for us but he said in reply amen I say to you I do not know you what a horrible thing

5:15for God to say to us I do not know you why couldn't the wise virgins give the oil to the one who had no oil because the oil is the relationship that they had with the bridegroom there was an identity that they had and a relationship with him he knew them and they knew him what was the worst thing that he could have said to the foolish virgins when they came knocking I don't know you in the same gospel of Matthew he helps us understand this more deeply in the same gospel if you look at the seventh chapter in the 21st verse not everyone who says to me Lord Lord the words that the foolish version said Lord Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven but only those who do the will of the heavenly

6:19Father many will say to me on that day Lord Lord did we not prophesy in your name did we not drive out demons in your name did we not do mighty deeds in your name then I will declare to them solemnly I never knew you same words I don't know you depart from me it's not what you do it's the relationship you have with him and so I wish you could write down these words to see what is very fundamental to prayer are I am relationship first identity second mission third are you married your marriage can only flow as a married partner from the

7:21relationship that you have and the identity that you have with God through him and with him you can be a good wife are you a priest relationship and identity is first then your mission how many priests get spin out in doing doing doing and they don't have a relationship and identity they don't know who they are what is my identity and so the first thing in prayer the first thing as a child as a little boy even in kindergarten the first thing I have to know is who I am who are you in the deepest part of my being because I am a baptized person I am Jesus I have a relationship with God and the relationship is that he is my father and I am his child the relationship and so if I'm

8:24going to pray I pray as a child to the father but so much importance if you're going to pray is to pray in the presence of God and so as you pray now as a little child do you want to get down on your knees and pray or is a seminarian or as a married person whatever you want to do do you want to sit in the chair do you want to walk up and down and say the rosary what do you want to do but what is the first thing you're going to do the very first thing to be in the presence of the one you're talking to to be in father are you here Jesus are you here holy spirit are you here Mary are you present to me and then be in their presence and then prayer this is so so important prayer is an eye thou relationship it isn't

9:26just me talking to God I can say a lot of things but what am I saying if I'm saying something to you father if I'm saying something to you Jesus who do you pray to first and most at the beginning of this new year as you as you're coming into a new year of prayer and we all talk about wanting to have a resolution of prayer this year their relationship is so primary and so I am your daughter you are my father and so when I pray the simplest prayer what is the most common prayer you pray our father who are in heaven how would be thy name who are you saying that to are you just talking to some open window that you hope somebody's in there and and are listening to you and when you can even be at mass are you just talking and no one's really there listening to you

10:30establish the relationship and the presence first establish your own identity first at the beginning and our father who are in heaven hello would be thy name it's an eye thou relationship I your daughter I'm talking to you my father hello would be your name your kingdom come your will be done what is primary in my day as I speak to you father thy will be done what was the problem with the foolish versions they were doing all kinds of things for God great miracles they were doing all kinds of wonderful things driving out demons didn't we do all this that isn't what I asked you to do you didn't even listen to me that's

11:32what he said in that seven chapter and that's God speaking in this holy word you come knocking at that final day and if you aren't on the right track this beginning of this new year what is it thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth what do you mean on earth in me as it is in heaven everyone in heaven is doing your will that's why they're so full of joy and now as I pray to you the our father this morning I your daughter I'm saying this to you my father thy will be done in me today as the saints do in heaven and then give us this day our daily bread you're saying that to your Abba all the needs you have that relationship that intimacy can he give me every yes that and the expectation I have when I say that give us this day

12:42our daily supposing your car needs to be fixed and you don't have all the money that you need for supposing there's time that you need with regard to an exam this is where you're asking your father with expectation give us this day our day on a daily hourly basis I need you on a minute by minute basis some so many things happen every day that bring about that intimacy between me and my Abba forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us Abba you know my heart and you say that Jesus has told me unless I forgive I will not be forgiven Abba please hear me I really don't like that person that person has hurt me so badly and I don't want to forgive them but

13:48you are my father as you look at Jesus in me stir up that love through the Holy Spirit that is in me so that I have the power to forgive and and I really don't like they've hurt me so much and it's so hard but I don't want to I don't want to go past this moment with hatred in my heart for that individual forgive us as we forgive and I need to re-forgiven there's so many things I don't do every day lead us not oh Lord lead us not into temptation how many how many times I just need your guidance and direction and protection and deliver us from the evil one for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever then what does he say to you could you listen

14:52then and what he has to tell you the relationship is so important even if all you did is three to five minutes in the morning have this beginning of the relationship with your Abba how much more there is with Jesus with the guidance of the Holy Spirit with the assistance and help of the blessed mother to take that and to listen after you speak with them and you know you don't have to be all the time feeling great what does your father really want to hear acknowledge the way you're feeling and what you're thinking are you angry when you get up in the morning are you afraid are you anxious are you worried what is your state of mind you're don't save

15:52God knows it I know he knows it but he wants to hear it from me I am his child and he is my father and so whatever there is in me and there's many many times things that are not really Jesus like in me and so I turn to our Lord who is in me and I turn to the Holy Spirit who can fire that up within me the Trinity is present to me every single moment can you imagine that so ready there's no one else wants to hear what you have to say except God your wife and your husband and your children they aren't ready to hear you 24 seven he is prayer is the most powerful relationship that you have with the father with Jesus with the Holy Spirit and with the blessed mother all day long this relationship that you have and your identity you become so filled

17:03with the power every day to take the time to pray if you don't take the time to pray you're going to die you really are and if you find out at the end of this year your life in prayer has been in the shambles the New Year's resolution the consumption more powerful than anything is have a relationship with your with God and know your identity at at the beginning of this year because the distractions and the confusion and the tumult and the world around you just like it ate you up last year as a priest or as a as a bishop or as a housewife or however you have found that on this last day of the year to take the moment today how beautiful it is for us to pray together

18:13if you have him just turn this on and we're hearing together God speak to us and inviting us he longs for you the the prayer time the spirit is drawing us longing to be with us this coming year more than ever before in my life the mission that I have to do will flow so much more peacefully and effectively and powerfully as as a priest as a housewife as a student as a student going overseas to study and what is there that you are doing this year it's not as important as who you are doing it your relationship and your identity are I relationship and identity the foolish virgins did so much

19:23and he did not know them I don't know you the one who made you is the one who knows you he knows everything without that relationship with the one who made you you're going to enter into another dark empty tumultuous time but to stop and consult with the one who made you who knows you who loves you he is the one that you have the relationship with I know you I love you and I am present to you I am always with you day and night don't worry about last year I'm saying to you all this past it isn't that I'm even going you just screwed up that isn't what I'm saying to you today

20:31my beloved child I love you and I am patiently waiting for you just to stop just let me look at you just be still long enough for me to be hold you let me be hold you let you look at me and behold me I am your father I am Jesus who dwells within you I am the Holy Spirit who is guiding you back to the true self that you are I am your mother who love you and we the Trinity and Mary are here wanting to teach you to pray what a gift this teaching has been it

21:40helped me again are I then am our relationship identity before mission many of us jump out of bed and we rush into our mission I I'm going to go to work I gotta go to school I gotta go to the office no that's not the first thing relationship and identity before mission and what you do is not the first thing because listen to those foolish virgins knocking at the door we drove out demons we did this we did that not everyone who says to me Lord Lord will enter the kingdom of God yeah but we need to have those things done the wash needs to be done this need the harassment so many times of the people of God who think that they're pleasing God because of all the things they do and they don't have

22:44that inner peace and relationship a harass mother screaming at her kids so unhappy and who wants to be like you when you're so frustrated anxious worried all the time I love my kids but I am so frustrated and angry and worried what kind of example do you present to your children so if you put mission first you're going to find out that it there's what do you have to give them what do you have as a father what do you have to give as a worker you have nothing if you don't have the relationship with God and the identity as his child when you drink deeply from the father from Jesus from the Holy Spirit and from our Lady then you have so much richness to pour out upon your mission

23:48what you have to do is going to be so much sweeter and happier than if you just draw from your own darkness rather than his light well I love what you did with the our father too I mean really it became an examin it's an examin you know for the beginning of the day at all throughout the day but the key afterwards you said it was to listen then to take the time to listen now for a lot of folks months here and I know I fall into this trap too how do I listen I can just picture someone out there saying but I don't know if it's the father I what am I hearing how do I getting is he really talking to me that's I think or we we have not been guided in a way to and really taught how to listen what what are we hearing how do we know I think it's this really hythens for us Chris

24:56the need for a spiritual guide all of us need to have a spiritual director someone who can help us listen when you hear voices coming back at you is it my voice that I hear is it God's voice or is it the evil one and that when I help people in prayer and I as I say I've been teaching prayer every single day this past year but every day when I teach people to pray they come and I ask them to write down what they heard from God and how important it is as you pray to keep a journal of what you're hearing from God God does speak to us God does the voices you hear and if you really just listen in the silence of your heart you will hear God the way you know it's God

26:04and not yourself and not the evil one is to test it test the spirit and because does that voice bring me peace does it bring joy does it bring love does it make me experience patience you see the fruit is the way by which you know it is your father's voice and then so as you pray and you hear the voice of the father speaking to you it goes right through and penetrates into the deepest part of your heart and the anxiety falls away and great peace and joy comes it's just oh wow the fruitfulness of a life of prayer is that is the life of the spirit bringing great priests bringing great joy

27:08and of course always the fruit is increased love and tenderness and gentleness and generosity that these fruits are so important to test the voice of God and you have many people, months in your SF, that have been long in the life of prayer and they too need to listen carefully and even at times in their life to stop again and reassess and write down because as they grow in the spiritual life as you know the need for discernment is so important because that enemy, a discernment in itself is between not between good and bad but between good and good isn't it? And you know Chris you offer so much on your programs as to be able to discern

28:09the people that you have on your on your programs and whom you publish and whose works you're teaching that is so important for yes the guidance and direction of people who are very much involved in discerning their hearts and coming to that peace. Final thought month senior? I really believe the voice of Francis has come to me and a maids who knew the Lord and who had oil in their lamp when they did their works and when they did the things that they did they had this relationship with the bridegroom and so they were make me a channel of your peace where there is hatred let me bring love you see when you are a channel the relationship with

29:11your father makes you that through which pouring into this world in your mission peace make me a channel of your peace that's exactly what you are but you see even if you were an ocean of love you could dry up in a week but if you're a channel you're connected with the source if you are plugged into God then the current pours through you and lights up the world be a channel of love no who you are and no one who made you and loves you that he may fill you

30:13for your mission God bless thank you month senior you've been listening to building a kingdom of love reflections with month senior John s of to hear and or to download this conversation along with hundreds of other spiritual formation programs visit discerninghearts.com or you can find it within the free discerning hearts app this has been a production of discerning hearts i'm your host christma gräger we hope that if this has been helpful for you that you will first pray for our mission which is to offer rock solid and authentic spiritual formation freely to souls around the world and if you feel us worthy consider a charitable donation which is fully tax deductible to help support our efforts but most of all we hope that you will tell a friend about discerninghearts.com and join us next time for building a kingdom of love reflections with month senior john sf