Black Teachers Matter

0:00And that is a big fallacy about you don't have to wear a hood to be a racist. It's in the way you're both. Welcome to WBCA LP 102.9 FM in Boston. We are a Boston's community radio station and I'm your host and the producer of Black Teachers Matter has another edition. But we are Black, Blackity, Black, Black, Black and tonight we have a really long standing friend of mine, Dr. Oric Johnson and he used to be my boss at the Springville College School of Human Services. He was the dean there. But tonight we are talking about the Hill Black Helpline which launched in Roxbury actually in Boston. Sunday, am I right? Yeah, it was Sunday and the press release that you have is talking about members of the media are invited.

1:07So I'm a member of the media. We invited Duke that found out about the official launch and it's a new resource of the Recovery Project Incorporated. Created to provide anonymous, anonymous, anonymous. That's important when we're talking about mental health with Black community. We'll get into that. Anonymous, confidential, safe and supported assistance, supportive assistance to Black people. The Race Recovery Office is that 20 years to street in Roxbury will give you the information but the website while you're paying attention, I hope is www.racerecovery.org www.racio.org And the Hill Black Helpline is designed to provide a supportive space where callers can discuss their thoughts, feelings, concerns, issues and needs with trained Black staff who understand the experience of navigating a race-based society.

2:08Welcome. Yeah, thank you. Welcome. So I want to say, Eric and Queen Moutou. Can I call you Queen Moutou? Because you're coming in here in that space. I mean, King and Queen. Eric's always been in King but I don't know if blow his head up and stuff. So the doctor. Doctor Johnson. Doctor King. Doctor Kruz. He's already been a doctor, King man. We need a doctor, Eric, in the pronounce. Yes. So you know what's interesting is when I think of mental health and I think of the Black experience, it's always been a taboo, kind of a subject, what happens in the family, stays in the family. And there are so many issues that people self-medicate using all these different substances, whether it's food or crack or whatever, a drug substance. But very few people, I think it's been the thought of going to a therapist has been demissified to a certain extent, especially around younger people.

3:08And so some people are starting to think about it. I think older school people still remember the medical industry experiment and not really being, you know, racially conscious, conscious in the understanding the Black experience. I mean, I've had been a proponent of going to therapy for a while, but it's been difficult because after you get over this stigma, you've got to find somebody that you don't have to go through racism 101 or gender politics 101. So understand, it's like, we already talked about this last week. Don't question the fact that this is racism and I'm getting PTSD from dealing with this, you know, person that I work for. This treat me a certain way. So I love the fact that you guys have a line that you have actually started. We're going to give out this information again throughout the program. And what caused you, I know, or if you've been dealing with young people for a long period of time and you've been a clinical psychologist, right? Counseling psychologist. Counseling psychologist. Let me get it right. It's not my, it's not my belly week.

4:10So I, you know, I don't, I don't really know. So let's get it right. And then, you know, I also am appreciative of the fact that you have a sister of color this right next to you because that's different too. I don't usually when I go look for someone to talk to me about my issues. I want a woman. I want a seasoned woman and I want a woman. And let me be clear. I don't want just a woman of color. I want a black woman. So tell me the difference in terms of why you decided to do this and why this is so important right now. So just to put, get a little background in context. The, the heel black helpline is came out of the race recovery program that was started by Dr. Zena Johnson. She started at about three, four years ago, where she thought there need to be a community conversation, authentic, honest, open, non filtered community conversation around the issue of racism, white supremacy.

5:19And the causes that living within that system have on black people. And, and she, and I met her about three years ago, participating in one of those community conversation. And out of that, she found out there was something that was very common in all of the conversations and the presentations is that, as you mentioned earlier, black people, especially, had a difficulty in talking to anyone professional about the unconscious, say, unnotable effects of being black in a race conscious society, race-based society. And so, and just as you're saying, not only finding a professional, quote unquote, professional, that is culturally competent and trauma informed, but basically having conversations just general with anyone about the underlying consequences of being black.

6:30And so, dust came the heel black helpline because we know one of the aspects of healing is to be honest and not have to filter one's experience. So, out of that came the heel black helpline, which actually started two years ago, and she was the only one she and a couple of other black folks were manning it. And I remember the, the helpline, and I said, wait a minute, I got to get in touch with her to relaunch this, especially within this context with, with a, with a Trump administration and all the stuff that's happening to black folks. So, dust the heel black helpline, we believe that to heal, you need to be honest and authentic and sharing your story.

7:30And you mentioned something very interesting. This idea of keeping your business to yourself, I think happened due to the shackles and slave men when we come into the United States. Prior to shackles in Africa, we had community meetings, we had community sharing of those issues. But in this context, we had to protect our safety, protect our stories because they were used against us. So, hopefully this helpline is going to allow people to speak to other black people, not necessarily professional sharing. These are trained community black folks who also understand systemic racism, white supremacy, and the consequences of living in a race based society and world. And just having a normal conversation unfiltered about the struggles and the frustration of being black, especially here in the United States.

8:38What's interesting to me is, well, there's a couple of things, right? One of them is the fact that here we are in the situation, in this country, for over 400 years. And people still are trying to figure this out, even though they've been experimenting with us on us, the father of gynecology experimented on black slave women with no anesthesia and babies drilling through their heads. We've had a lot more experiments than just the Tuskegee syphilis experiments. We've had eugenics who Hitler actually learned about eugenics from America. He actually gives credit to doing that and saying, no, I learned about it from here and I brought it over there. And they're still experimenting on us, but it just looks like something different right now. They actually have your consent to a certain extent. Most people don't read the fine print when they're in the hospital.

9:38We talk about Henrietta Lacks, the immortal cells of Henrietta Lacks and how her cells didn't die. And so, you know, John Hopkins and all the medical industry and cancer industry made billions and trillions of dollars off experimenting and using black people. So I think when COVID came out, a lot more black people were like, nah, I don't think I'm going to do that. It wasn't just, you know, the Republicans or GOP was a lot of people just like, I don't know if I'm going to do that. And even now, I've heard of different things happening to people as a result of taking the vaccine. So, excuse me, you know, when it comes to your brain that you can't see and your emotions that you can feel, but you can't see. But then you experience the medical industry that you deal with all the time. I think there's still a hesitation. So how do we say and trust this particular, because every brother and a brother, and all skin, folking, and folk. How do we reach out to the population that needs it the most? Because, you know, there's research that says the trauma that we've been through as a result of shackled, you know, chattel and slavery and being shackled and being raped and burned and killed and bred actually has changed our DNA.

10:53And I don't even know if people even understand it to that depth. It's like, what's your experiencing? What you're doing now and trying to kill yourself, trying to kill people that look like you, the self hatred, this internalized. And this internalized colorism needs to be dealt with in order for us to be home and healthy. How do you appeal to people to talk to someone they can't even see because this is a help line versus what they've seen and already known. Yeah, I like moves. Thank you. First talk about yourself. Oh, yeah, who you are. And why you're here? Hi, my name is a musu kula massacre. I go and mousse and I am a licensed community health worker. I've always been a lover of psychology and the understanding of people and our connections. I am a first generation, serolionian American, both my parents came to this country in the late late, sorry, no early.

11:54Late 60s from serolion, West Africa. And so when you talk about the the colorism and the separatists and things along those lines, that hits home for me. I'm happy to be here at working with the the help line because growing up in the Boston area. I dealt with a lot of people who would call me an African bush boogie African booty scratcher. And then when my mother moved us from Madapand to Medford, which was predominantly white in the area that we lived in, came back. And all those same people are like, I'm African, but fast forward now where I'm a mother of three. I have two daughters in their 20s and I have a son who's a tween. I see the separatist language that they are being exposed to online in social media in places that it's just like, I don't understand why, why are we talking about, you know, a foundational black and all of these things when there's scientific proof that everyone.

13:10Everyone can trace back their DNA to Africa, whether it be people in China, different parts of London, wherever you are, Norway, France, everybody has DNA that traces back to Africa. So that means that we're all connected, no matter what our skin tone is. But again, because of the issues of separation and separate the separatist language that's in America, people come up with these foundational, you know, blacks. And all of these ways of figuring out how to separate us and going back to slavery, where they had the ends who were in the house and the ends who were out in the field, finding ways of, you know, you divide and conquer. And yes, not all skin folk are kin folk, but we still have to come forward with that idea to me, God is love and expressing love and having love for whomever looks like me that can relate to whatever it is that I'm dealing with, relate to me by color.

14:16I'm going to reach out and say, okay, this is a, this, are you experiencing something? This is available for you. We're here for you. It's free. We want to be able to address whatever is happening with you. We want you to know that there's a safe space. We want you to know that you are loved, not love in, you know, romantic way, but in a, in a got bay way love to say, I care about you, I care about what you're going through. How can I help you? And I'm saying I, meaning us with the help line. It's just something that I felt that we needed, especially in this time because there's so much divisiveness happening. It's, if it's not in our homes, it's out in our schools, it's in social media, it's on commercials on TV everywhere we look ads. There's so much divisiveness that's happening. We still have to find ways in our own small areas to connect and get closer to one another. So reaching out to those by mouth, word of mouth, because we know a lot of people that are struggling. They may not say anything, but we know them privately.

15:22And this line is a private way that that person who doesn't want to speak out and speak up in a loud manner to say, okay, I have a resource that I can go to in this place. Okay, so let me step in. For those of you just tuned in, you're listening to WBC, LP 102.9 FM in Boston, we're Boston's community radio station. And this is another edition of Black Teachers Matter. You're going to learn something today. Our call in number is 617-708-3211. And we are talking about an amazing resource that is available. If you like to get more information, then what is the phone line? So the phone you could call the Race Recovery Project Help Line at area code 877-843-2525-877-843-2525. And we'll give that out more in the conversation here. We'll be here and taking phone calls. But honestly, let's take a phone call or two.

16:31But I want to get into this conversation a little bit deeper because you talked about the vision and bringing people close together and this resource being available. And it's for, you know, heal Black Helplines. So I'm going to throw something in there for a second. I have a cousin who, she's Black, African-American Black, a little bit of Caribbean thrown in there. And so she's older, I won't tell you her age, but she's older. Not a senior, but she's season. And she's single. And she's trying to date. And what she, she went on the Black dating lines and she's found that there are more white men on there looking for Black women. So you have a, I'm just keeping it real now. So you hit, you have a heal Black Helpline. And before we get the phone calls, the people, why is it all Black? Why is it only Black? How do you know if someone is Black in there? Is this available to everyone? And then you're focusing on Black people who need the help or how do you know?

17:39No. Is this a, is this a video line in chat room and you could tell how do you know? I think that's a good question. You mentioned a, a statement or earlier that not all skin folk is Black folk and all Black folk is skin folk. You could know one of the things the, the, the helpline is managed and by people of color. It's designed for Black people. The people who will be answering the calls like Musul and myself have been selected, have been interviewed, have been trained. The training, the conversation is like the conversation that we're having right now. It's like you're talking to another person and you could tell, I could tell if I'm on the phone, if a call calling whether it's a Black person or a white person on the other line, based on this particular vocabulary and stories that they share.

18:39I can't always tell somebody that I can. I am, being a therapist, I've been able to, you know, and, but I'm also wondering because they're a women who are not Black, who have Black children and who are maybe married and vice versa. There are Black women that are married to white guys. There are white guys that are married to Black women. There are white women who want to know how to raise their Black children or their mixed raised children. Could they call into this line? No, that's a, that's a difficult one with different lines. This is specifically for the Black brother who's married to the white sister who want to say some things and is dealing with some things, but can't say it. Well, she said some things to him. Exactly. Exactly. And, and a vice versa. It's a place. As a therapist, in fact, in fact, I had a client calling me today, a Black mother, really, and justly moved out of a house, and I had to give a permission to be Black and saying, look, you know, you could, you know, if you have to,

19:45Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What did you just say you had to give her a permission to be Black, being Black meaning being authentically herself. In terms of really, we have a lot of a lot of us in a race based society have been taught how to be, quote unquote, Black by a society in terms of not offending white folks. To be comfortable, be careful of what you're saying. You know, even if you're talking to a Black psychologist, you're going to be proper in, in how you speak because you'll fear. You'll be diagnosed as having anger issues or sketch a freign or something. And, and, and, and you know, for Black sister, there's always the angry Black woman or the, you know, etc. I have to give my clients permission to be the angry Black person in a context of understanding the anger and what she's carrying in terms of being a Black woman in a race based society. So by having a conversation with me and say, look, and educating and letting her know that look, I'm a Black, this is the phone conversation now.

20:50And she could pick up that I was Trinidadian, I could pick up that she hasn't Jamaican stuff based on some of the things that she was saying. And the, the, the end of the conversation is that she asked, could I see you right in any other therapist? You know, because we as Black people, we have the ability to sense danger because we had to survive. We, we could tell the skin folk when kinfolk. And, and we know some of us do some of us not enough of it. But, and that's why this has Black line is to educate people about how to discern and just pick that up. And basically to be honest and authentic with themselves. And so I think the other reason they will know that we have Black and it's for Black help line not only into the conversation, but we're planning on doing more promotions, having community meetings and advertising.

21:54Where it could speak to the people who will be answering the calls. So they, they're the visual facial recognition in terms of who you, who you're talking to. So, that's great. And we got to take a break if you've just tuned in. You're listening to Black teachers matter here on WBCA LP 102.9 FM in Boston, where Boston's community rate radio station. 617-708-3211. Men. I tell you, they talk about the white man's burden. Let's talk about the black man's burden. Sitting up here in this society, especially in this country. And what we need to do to keep ourselves healthy. Me personally, I'm going to say it again, put out in the atmosphere. I want to be a healthy 120 year old with legs like Tina Turner. I'm just saying that's why I'm putting it out there. But I know that you can be healthy in your body and not healthy in your mind.

22:55And so that's what we're talking about today. The heel Black help line here at WBCA LP 102.9 FM in Boston. Try it. Veterans League is a community based education and cultural enrichment program that is seeking US military veterans interested in the arts and literacy enhancement. Interested? You can check out our website at tryadveteransleaboston.com That is tryadveteransleaguebostonalloneword.com Veterans are an overlooked and underused community resource. And thank you for your service. You Dear grandma, I can't wait to see you. We can bake your special cookies, play cards, look at all those old photos of you and grandpa. When you still add hair. Three out of five of all home fire deaths occur in homes that don't have a working smoke alarm.

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26:00I'm firefighter Jeff from Mathu won here to tell you about the secret ingredient in my slow cook pastrami roulette. Garlic powder and paprika really make this roulette taste great. And remember the key ingredient to any meal is safety. So stand by your pan. I always turn off the stove top if I have to leave the kitchen. If something does flare up, stay calm and put a lid on it. For more safety tips, my pastrami roulette recipe, allow other great dishes from firefighters. Log on to mass.gov slash cooking safety. Don't like what you see and you want to make a change. Then register and vote every Sunday until August 22nd at Julie Boston in the narthex. Be the change you'd like to see. Register to vote and then vote. And so we're back. Here we are. Here we are. If you're from Boston, you don't have any art. So here we are.

27:00WBCA LP 102.9 FM in Boston with Boston's community radio station. And guess what? I've got some amazing people here talking about how you can get healthier. And mo better, mo better, mo better. You know, we have to, it's a heavy subject, but it's an important subject that we're talking about right now. I put out the phone number, but to be honest with you, most people when I talk to them, they're like, oh my god. I listen to you with some important. And I go to white and jacolom because it was so important. We wanted to take the notes and I didn't want to interrupt or I didn't want to be the first phone call or so. Guess what? I'm not going to give you the phone number right now because I think we can talk a dog off a meatway and we're going to finish talking. So welcome back to my guest here. Dr. Ulrich Johnson and Queen. I mean, I just, you know, but you are, I say Queen because I refer to all black women as Queens. Thank you.

28:00I think at Queens, elevate Queens. So I'm elevate to sorry, King Ulrich. You got permission. You didn't know what I'm saying. Not like I need a permission to you. I need a permission when I work for you. Ouch. Ouch. We are equal terms now, bro. Thank you, Queen. You know, we've talked about so many different things before the break. And I just love the fact that you're here and I want to definitely have you back. You just launched this, even though this was in, let's say it was in the dreams and being manifested. It's actually here, this phone line. So let's get some particulars down. How, how, what are the hours of this phone line and how do, what will it sound like if I call in? What level of crisis do I need to be? Because at some point, you know, but you've got referrals and all this other stuff. So who should be calling into this line? So anyone who was black in the state of Massachusetts and the number again is 877-843-2525.

29:10Again, it is open to anyone who was black. It's open to everyone in the state of Massachusetts. The level of crisis is anything. If you feel like you've had a bad day at work and you want someone to speak to because someone has been doing things that are, you know, the microaggressions that you have to deal with on a day to day basis. It can be, you know, you sent out an email and somebody saw an error in the email and they see, see everyone and make a blow up this small error in the email and make it be. And now you fly it. You get right. And it just puts this big spotlight on you for no reason or somebody decides that, you know, oh, you know what? I'm not gonna share this piece of information that with you, that's important for you to do your job and the best way possible, things along those lines. If you feel like you're being bullied at school, if you are one of these young adults

30:10who are unfortunately being sent out to a school that's far away from your own town and area that you live in, but there's nobody there that looks like you and you feel isolated in some of the activities and the actions that you have to deal with, this line is also for you. So hold on, let's stop right there for a second. The age parameters, you guys mandated reporters in which case, if someone feels bullied in school, we're assuming that's K through 12, although I've seen people bullying the school in their own college. So what are the lines, the HIPAA codes and the lines and stuff like that? So this is a, and so this is a outline and a resource line as we mentioned for Black folks. It would be manned by trained people who are answering the phone, who are culturally sensitive, race sensitive, dealing with different issues. On the line also, there will be a supervisor

31:11like myself and Dr. Johnson, Zena Johnson. If it raised to a crisis issue where there need to be some clinical intervention, there's a way of us getting into the call, an answer to the call and taking it from there and making the appropriate referrals and addressing any particular crisis that this individual is going through. So does that include domestic violence? Domestic violence. Anything that is the results of the stress of living in a Black person in a race-based society, anything from substance abuse, domestic violence to people who are homo-sidal, whatever. If they have the idea and they're calling and say we take a call and the brother is saying, look man, I had a bad day at work man

32:12and I've been thinking of doing this. And if the call of a person answering the call could deal with that person, if it's getting to the point where the brother is saying, look, I have a plan and then I will cut in on the call and take it from there. So then I just read on my way over here, a situation where someone had a explosive device around their neck and this was locally and they, the police encountered them, law enforcement encountered them and they, he actually exploded. Something happened and exploded and now this guy has injuries to his neck, his shoulders and everything. But then in that encounter, the same person said, oh, I have a car, a vehicle parked and it's got a explosive device in it too. And so then the cops took it from that point and I'm saying that because this is something that's happening more than people realize. They may not realize it's actually that kind of an encounter.

33:14And then also, there are, how do you, can someone who is related to a connected to someone called this helpline to get help with the loved one and the person they're connected to? Yeah, I think any, any, if we are not only jettelistin and an honest and authentic way, but also helping that person find resources for themselves, a loved one, a friend or anyone. The main, the main purpose and mission of this helpline, we believe that if people have a place where they could vent and share authentically their feelings, thoughts and experience that it will prevent all of those other issues. So it's in some of, I believe, you know, when I was at Springfield and teaching and preparing mental health counselors,

34:14one of the, there's two, I mean, we're doing community work and participatory research. You know, we found that the bartender, the headdresser, the Boba, one of the most important preventers of violence in the community. Cause they listen. They listen and while they were listening, they were taking care of the individual, either by cutting their hair, doing their nails. And so when we had the AIDS Prevention Initiative, we went to those Boba's Shep and headdresses and educate those, those Boba's and headdresses about AIDS and they could be able, you know, you're sitting in the chair boy, do you know what? And talk, you know, in a way that the person would really understand and relate. I have researched other black helplines. There's black helplines for black people who've had encounters with the police. There's Native American hotlines. And they're manned by black people,

35:15Native American people who really, the caller could tell when they're calling based on the response to the issue that the caller is saying. If this person really cares or really understands. Let me get, let me dig right into there before you go further. I see implications and the applications so far, I want to get back into the police thing. One of the issues in terms of law enforcement and communities of color, but specifically the black community is the adultification of our kids. Our kids are out there and they're always perceived as being older, but also I know of encounters with police where family members have called because they knew that their family member was in crisis. And the police were there to enforce the law to try to keep people safe, but there's too many times when it goes left. And they don't, the police themselves

36:17as well meaning as they are, intervening and they've been called into a situation, but then that person ends up on a live because it gets out of hand. Yes. Is there a vision of you working more closely with law enforcement to avoid these kinds of encounters? I think, and in fact, if there's law enforcement personnel who want to come and get trained on how an even man, the phone line, we welcome them, we welcome everybody to, and part of we do mob calls and the basic way of answering the phone call is to be answering it as a human being, not as a quote unquote clinician. My way of doing therapy is conversational therapy. We sit down and people say, I never knew therapy was like this. They have this idea on TV that, and it's really just being authentically black and authentically human if you want to,

37:18but we're talking about black people. And I think most people when they come to see me and it's like, relapse, require, we talk, we laugh at the situation. They just want a place where they could discharge some of that energy that they're carrying around regardless of the age. And also the validation that you're not crazy. It's a crazy situation that you're dealing with, right? Yeah, and so, remember, people treat black people and look at them as symptoms. The symptom is something small. They do, the systemic racism always get away. We don't deal with systemically. And the individual believes it's their fault, right? So when we talk about systemic racism and white supremacy and how it looks and how it operates, they like, wait a minute. Can I have a right to be damn angry? Yes, you do. I have a right not to trust such and such, right?

38:20Especially if you tell me multiple times, just talking multiple times, this person lying, you're of course. And so I think one of the things that's happening to normal black people as well as professionals, I've dealt with professionals who have been facing microaggression to the point where they feel that they're in pastors, right? That it's them. And I said, no, no, no, no, no. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, you know, and even poops like a duck. And any camel. You know what I'm saying? And Sharon, that even having that conversation and having somebody says, no, it's not a camel, releases a lot of tension. You know what I'm sitting here now, right? And I'm looking at these bruises on my arm, my forearm, literally black and blue and green. And just me advocating, and I've had to, I'm around young people and just learning how to advocate for yourself in medical situations,

39:21I have small veins, I've always had small veins. So when they go to put in an IV or something, they literally need an ultrasound machine or vein finder. And so I go in there and I know, and I deal with people that's like, oh no, but I've been doing this 20 years and I've had these veins on my life. So you know, I don't care if you're a phlebotomist or whatever, let me just tell you, and I've had to really be adamant about, you know, and being perceived as that angry black women. And I'm like, I'm pretty cumbea, most of the time. So stop pissing me off. But, you know, so I had, you know, I have to really tell me, I said, well, you know, and you're gonna have to wait until the nurse gets here, I said, then we'll wait. And so even in taking blood, I had to correct this woman, not this particular time, this was something else with the black and blue thing. But she was taking blood and then she said, oh, your skin is rough like an elephant, I said, your mother's a liar. And I pushed back in here, I said, how dare you? And then my daughter was there, my daughter's very, she looks like me, she's very, she's smoother,

40:23because she's had the experience of me advocating and fighting for her, putting this couch around her. So she hasn't had to push through this, I know it's racism, and I know what it is, but it's not necessarily, it's an unconscious racism that they're so comfortable with, that they think they can talk to us in a certain way, and treat us in a certain way. And it's not just white supremacists, it is people that look like us, that have to, they condition themselves to be safe in that environment where they're working, and this is what they have to say. And I've been in situations where, you know, I don't care, I'm speaking up for my people, I'm gonna speak up for me, and I'm very black and proudly black, I don't care. But I've had black people come over to me and whisper to me and say, you know, that's not a fail, it's like, it's a why you whisperin'. I mean, what is this that you're so afraid that you can't even be who you authentically are, and in open space, that you're afraid of someone hearing what you're saying in the repercussions. This show, Black Teachers Matter, came out of me being a Black teacher in a white environment,

41:26and being the only teacher in this charter school, teaching social studies, and English, language arts, and a white teacher being in front of a class of Black and Brown kids, teaching social studies in the golden age, asking these students, how did America get its wealth, and don't say slavery because that's the wrong answer. Every moment, you talk about, you know, and that's not really a micro-correction to me, that's pretty open, but. And then, you know, it's back to there right now. And in every single day, I wore makeup, I hate makeup. Every single day I wore makeup to school, my daughter was like, mommy, why are you wearing makeup? You hate wearing makeup, I said, because this is my war paint. This is the mask that I wear, going into this environment that reminds me that what I'm dealing with, and when I cry, because it does hurt, and I go in the bathroom, I just put back on this war paint, I come back out, and I ended up having to, you know, and they terminated me, because they said, first they, and I had no bad marks or anything like that.

42:27I came in there, they wanted me to be there, at 6'30, I was there at 6'15, 6'o'clock. They wanted me to stay at 4'30, I'm there at 2'5. So I'm going above and beyond, which is stressful, right? Yes, yeah. And then you're in an environment, we don't trust anybody, so even your colleagues, you're not necessarily, and then you're bringing it home. Yes. And that's another whole thing, and learning how to be healthy, and stay healthy, and you've got to go back into the environment, and you know it's a war zone. So I did, I did have a therapist at that time, because it was a safe space. For me to talk to someone who really didn't have an investment in my decisions, but could help me navigate through this terrain, that I knew was treacherous, and when they terminated me, it was deep. They called me in the office and said, here's your last check, and it ooves outside waiting. Could you take you home? And I said, why? And we don't have to tell you. And I said, yes, you do. And they said, you're not the right fit. I said, I'm the only black teacher in the eighth grade teacher in this. I knew I didn't fit in here when I got here, but you can't fire me for that. And I ended up fighting legally.

43:29And what was so deep is I was teaching a Springfield College on the weekend, and I was teaching at a charter school, high school during the day. And I was ready to just walk away, because you could tie to fighting when it's all a fight, right? Even if you think you're going to win, you just get tired of fighting. But then one of my former colleagues called me and said, and during the break of a class, because we had those seven-hour classes, which were incredible, and it was intensive, and said, you be so proud of your kids. And I was like, why? Kids found out what happened to you, and they stayed to sit in at the school and shut it down. Because I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. That made the media too. Yeah, it did. And so it shut it down. And at that point, I said, wait a minute. Let me go back and talk to these kids first. That Monday, I went back and talked to the kids, and I was there early. And they came up and they were crying, and they were hugging me. And they're like, they told us you were sick. That's why you quit. And when I found out they were lying, and then one of the little boys was always hardcore, came up, and he had tears. And I was like, whoa, you crying.

44:29And he said, we thought you left because you didn't love us anymore. That's when I knew I was going to fight. I said, let me, OK. So I was Martin Luther King. Let me bring up the Malcolm in me. And the next day, I showed up with Black leather, red black green sun, and I looked like that. You're battle fatigue. You know what I'm saying? No, but you know, you as black women, me as a black woman, I don't think we have. And you talked about permission. You gave to this woman to be black and to say who she was. We also as black women have this extra piece now. Because most black families up until the 70s had most of their parents. And then there was certain policies we won't get into that literally destroyed the black family. And so now 80% to 85% of black children have mostly their mother. So this is added burden of dealing with that and not having a partner that you can go home and say, baby, I want to kill this chick, this Karen, the aunt of a blackish, you're talking to yourself, and you don't want to burden your kids. So you keep piling this on.

45:30And you asked me during the break about why I have this cane that people see me with now is one of the residual effects of me having three strokes, being in those environment, being in that environment, not that particular one, but an environment that I thought I was supported by black people because the people that were working with me were black, but still not understanding as everybody was dealing with their trauma. So the fact that you have this heel black helpline, for black people, by black people, is so crucial to me on so many different levels. Our kids are vaping and smoking weed and smoking weed has got chemicals in it, drinking and doing all this wildness, the sex, the behavior, the destructive behavior. Our adults are sitting there, treading water, some people are drowning, they're taking people with them, and our elders are sitting there at the ends of their life, wondering what the hell happened. I mean, at this point now, my dreams weren't necessarily realized.

46:31They're keeping secrets, I mean, some of these secrets need to be kept like, you know, Auntie Mames, secret biscuit recipe, and it was never the biscuits, whenever they're good. You can take that with you. But some of the other stuff, the herbal, we talk about the indigenous rules, there was something when I had a cold in my grandmother from Alabama had. It looked like black tar. If you had that, you didn't get a cold for three years. I don't know what was in it, but I just knew it was effective. So a lot of the herbs and the knowledge that we have of the healing things that we can do, and that we can actually share with other cultures when I was rehabbing, I couldn't walk, talk, move, nothing. When I had the first or the second and third stroke, and so I started doing Tai Chi, I started doing adaptive yoga, I started doing different things, changing my diet. And so that helped me. And so in the institutions, the Caucasian institutions, they didn't understand that I had to tap into my roots spiritually and emotionally, psychologically, to get at what it was, the root cause,

47:32and we talk about that in Springfield College. The root cause of what really manifested itself in this illness or this disease. So in the last, how many minutes do we have here? In the last six minutes or so, gives the number out again, the reason why it's here, and how people get in touch with you, please. So just to just before I do that, the conversation that we're having now, is the same way it will happen on the helpline. Notice we didn't use any big terms, is like, we're talking real life situation. Where could people, Black folks go to have a confidential conversation? To God, but then the church has its own problems. We're getting there right now. Well, check this, no one person called and asked us, could we refer them to a good prayer line? Yeah. The prayer lines that they went to was very painful. Well, Christian counselor, because if you're Muslim, there's a certain base in terms of where you go

48:33if you're a Christian or whatever, there's a certain base for that. So we also provide resources. We are also collecting information from safe, Black community members who have products, who have services that they can provide to the community, and we're sharing those as needed basis. I come from a space where I'm a breast cancer survivor. So I thank you for speaking about all of what you've gone through with your own medical conditions. My mother had breast cancer twice. She had cancer three times. She had breast cancer twice. So here, and another thing is that some of the resources, all of the resources have to be heal Black, help line certified. We have to check you out. We have to make sure that you really are about Black folks, and not just the money. So we are asking organizations, if you want to be a resource that we could

49:35refer people to, call us, have us come out and evaluate you, there's certain questions that we're going to be asking, and you've got to have a certain level of approval before we refer people, like I was saying earlier, to Musul, there's some therapist I wouldn't refer my Black cat to. Oh, look. So the question is. Not the Black cat. You don't think? You know what I'm saying? I'll skin for skin for that. So the four line again is 877-843-2525-877-8432525. If you call a lever message, and we will call you back in less than 24 hours. So with my own personal survival, what I've been doing is gathering my own resources, because as a Black female, when I was in my 30s with my first diagnosis, there was a lot of things that weren't provided to me. And so I've dedicated my time since 2012 up until now to continue to gather resources, medical resources, mental wellness resources.

50:36And again, I'm here for the community. I've always been about the community and for the community, whether they want me or not. I'm here to love on. So what are the hours of this line? 24 hours. Say it again. 24 hours. We are here to, again, love on them. 24 hours. And what point did you just call 911? Well, when it gets to a point where a person is really planning on hurting themselves or hurting somebody, and really you feel not only professionally, but in your gut. That's when you notified, because the supervisor could listen to the call and you tap and the supervisor me and Dr. Johnson will really tap in and take it from there. Again, we know that there's a lot of indicators of people really getting to a point of no return. And they tell you. And I think we also, people are trained

51:39in terms of knowing what those things are. Those calls are. And you could never tell. But if one of the issues that we have lost as black people because of being enslaved and shackled is that instinct that we have to survive. And it operates unconsciously and it operates in spite of us trying to deny it. Let's hold the honan right there, because we've got a few minutes left. What is some of the questions that someone should ask themselves to see of their in trouble? Because I remember blowing off the symptoms before I had the first stroke. I was like, long just tired. I didn't have the drooping face and all of the stuff they were talking about. I was just tired. It had been more tired at other times. So I figured, let me just go to sleep and then go away. So what are some of the questions you have to ask yourself to know if you're in trouble? Right. I think one of the things in dealing matrona is lying to yourself. If you're tired and you're not resting, so we have this thing in recovery call Halt, H-A-L-T,

52:40if you're hungry, if you're angry, lonely, or tired, take care of it. But as black people, we are not given permission to do that. The superwoman syndrome, the John Henry syndrome, when the body is telling you to really rest, you got to rest. And so if you see yourself stuck in a pattern of not listening to yourself on your body, you need help. Give me the number again. Give me the number again. The number again is 877-843-2525-877-843-2525. You know, I thank you for being here. We definitely have to have you back again. I just, I can't tell you enough how much this really means to have you here again. Ulrich, you looking like your age and back was brother. But you see, I'm listening to my body. Go. OK. And it's hearing you.

53:41Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here. And thank you for being here. Thank you. You're listening to WBCA LP 102.9 FM in Boston, where Boston's community radio station. And the views and opinions you heard here tonight are not necessarily those of BNN Media, BNN TV, WBCA LP 102.9 FM. It's representatives and all that other good stuff. We want to have you back again to Black Teachers Matter. And take care of yourself and each other. God bless. Bye-bye.