7 Years 139 days - Birthday Girl

0:00Alright, you are back with Kempi, Nadeboil, and I'm quitting alcohol. So it's my daughter's 6th birthday today. My God, my fucking God. Look COVID, that's when we had my daughter. First two and a bit years of the podcast, she wasn't around, then she popped into the podcast during COVID, and now if you've been following along six years later, that's pretty wild. It's pretty wild that she's 6 and in only like 6 more years, she's gonna fucking hate us, and then it will probably, so she'll be 12 and then it will probably take another

1:0112 after that for her to like us again. Oh my God, every day for a couple of minutes a day, I think about her teenage years, and I'm like, I'm not fucking ready. I am not even close to ready. I don't know how I'm gonna deal with any of that shit. We just bought her a princess fucking scooter, and that's nice. What the fuck do you get a teenage girl? Besides a fucking trip to the Himalayas and a fucking stint in a cave. Speaking of the fucking cave, I bought the Tibetan book of the dead the other day for like the fifth time, and it's a really good book. And for some reason my wife picked it up and started reading it, and now she's thumping through it like crazy, and she's imparting the wisdom that I've already read out of it

2:04onto me. And then this morning she's like, I just feel like moving to a cave. And I'm like, what the fuck, that's my dream. I've been saying that for years. She's like, I just wanna ditch you all and just sit in a cave. And I'm like, you are literally stealing my fucking goal in life. Come up with your own dream. Make it a good dream as well, that includes us. That includes me going to a cave. So I've got a deal with that now as well. Did a gig last night too. This was not an open mic, this was a show. And my god, the difference is fucking night and day. I'm trying out a lot of new material, but it's coming along okay. There's enough fucking meat on the bone of some of this stuff that it's gonna be okay. Things are gonna be okay.

3:04I've got book for another, I've got book for a feature spot at a club. 20 minutes in a couple of weeks, so fucking baby steps. That's all you need. You just need a little fucking, just give me a little bit of momentum I can build on. Just fucking throw us a bone and I'll convert the bone and then just fucking a little more bone. And then we've got a little bit of fucking Maui, a little bit of momentum. But I hung out and spoke with a bunch of comics last night and it's such a hustle scene in the US. Everything's a hustle, but everyone seems. On the level like everyone, like because everyone's hustling, everyone sort of understands what everyone else is trying to do. And so everyone kind of helps each other hustle. It's just a completely different mindset here.

4:08It's actually enjoyable. I like it. I like what's going on. So it's just gig, gig, gig now, develop this material. Anyway, fucking I have a little girl's birthday. I need to get rolling. She hasn't even opened her presence yet. She's saving them for half the school. She knows how to distribute the joy all day throughout the whole day. She even went to bed on her own volition early last night because she knew she would wake up early in the morning so she could get more birthday in. But she knows how to spread it. So she's like, I'm going to school. I'm going to get fucking attention and love at school because her friend had a birthday yesterday. So she saw what's in store for her today and she's like, that's enough to get me through to the end of school.

5:09Then I get to play at school for an hour afterwards. And then I can come home, open some presents, get some phone calls, say thank you. And then go out to dinner, get a cake. She's clever. And just fucking rampages through everything at like seven in the morning on his birthday and then tosses everything to the side and fucking rolls on. And then by the time he's finished school, he forgets it's even his birthday. It's actually very strange that I could go back to today six years ago and know exactly how I was feeling at the time and what was going on. I can't fully remember just off the top of my head, but I have an artifact I can go back. I'll save that for fucking retirement. I have jokes to tinker with. I need to leave hell.

6:10So anyway, happy birthday to my daughter when she listens back to this eventually if I haven't erased it and thrown it into the fucking memory hole. Happy birthday. That'll do for today and I'll see you the fuck right off.