349 - Hamish Paints the Mona Lisa

0:00A list-snuff production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and the podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. A hoi to me service a lafus. Hamish. Okay. Well, that is a service we aim to provide here. And your promise be our Latin motto. Yes, let us serve you. It's through laughter. Service a lafus, the Hamish and Andy show. We should get blazers with a crest. Well, then this particular thing would be on the crest. A hoi to me, dharma, dharma, jack. Oh. Wait, so the things that make up a crest like shield? No, no. No, no. If we were putting a crest together, this thing would have to be our mascot now.

1:00Service a lafus. What am I, a dharma dharma? Yep. Okay. Play on. And I am a rusa unicolor. These sound like either... Are you saying words backwards? No. Okay. They're obviously the scientific names of three types. Or something. And they aren't native to Australia. Are they birds? Is the Cucumber of the Lafus? That's a great question. No, they are. Hamish, you and I... I know we didn't. We saw a few of these in search for its bigger brother in New Zealand, bad, bad, bad, cloo. Are they deer? Yeah. We are the three main deer species of Australia. Hayne, the Service a lafus, is the red deer. One of Australia's best known introduced deer. And you're a fellow deer, Jack. Wide spread, but particularly in South Australia. South Eastern Australia. The name of the Sambo deer, the rusa unicolor.

2:01And what's the Sambo deer? They run faster, jump higher, usually you are the best deer. Largest deer species. It's interesting. Interesting. Large dark brown deer with a shaggy coat. Prominent deer and large branching antlers on the males. Is it common? Yeah, you're right. I mean, I don't think we'd have it as our crest. I don't think we'd have the deer as the crest of the show. No, but the Service Lafus is the red deer. That'd be the one we'd have to put on. Why, I mean, is it Lafus that spelt like laughter? It's, or Elephus, but that was tall. I was tall. No, that's fun. I just, not that tall. I was taller. That's what I'm just saying. I don't know why it gets laughter in its name, because it's just not a funny animal. I was told to emphasise the laugh aspect of it through pronunciation, but I would have pronounced it Elephus. Yeah, it got you. My favourite part of this is any time it is like a different language or Latin or something, your face. Of the nervousness. Yeah, yeah. Because we're coming with having to pronounce different languages. He is, is deferring to the Latin telling us

3:01that we're getting to the end of three things. And there's not that many three things. He is not way to get to the end of three things, Jack. When you've mistaken this, you're just mistaking. Lies are out there, when, maybe. Jack, you're just mistaking what is, and I think I speak for the listeners as well. I kind of a boring one. You're just mistaking this feeling of having a non-exciting one. There's no interest to this, we just three years. What's that feeling? I mean, Twilight people were last, but I thought that was too easy. But is it just because I'm just, for you, we're now we're setting a precedent where if we can just do things in other languages. Okay, I'll tell you what, Latin off the table. I'll do no scientific names for the rest of the year. For the rest of the year. Thank you. Lies is so diverse. Thank you. For a second, she was like, oh my god, I've got the rest of the year off. Yeah, the rest of the year has just got harder. She was watching these, like, oh, I'll just go back to the start of the list and we'll do it in Japanese. There's a start of the list and we'll do it in Chinese. Start of the list, do it in Greek. Well, it's, it's scientific names.

4:02And it's not like it's different languages. Yeah, this isn't just being clean on. We haven't just gone. He's three different names for chairs. But I think, no, I'm with you, Jack. It's tough one to get the three things right. And you've got to, you have to admit when one feels a little vanilla. Because you're looking for that little special something. Yeah, you want it to be achievable, but you want to maybe learn a little bit with it. Yeah, that had neither. The Hawaii also, the Cassie and Jetro, they're in Australia, went to HamishNani.com, uploaded the audio. Very easy to do it there if you go there. I should tell you what they've been up to. Ahoi, Hamish Nandi. Ahoi, boys. It's Cassie and Jetro here. We got married six months ago. We thought we'd head out to celebrate our half anniversary. We're heading to Melbourne and listening to your podcast. And we just heard you'd won the pizza challenge, Hamish. So we are swung into La Calabrazi to get ourselves some pizzas. It's five o'clock and the podcast episode was released yesterday. And there's only six pizzas left. Oh, Hamish.

5:03Well done. Thanks for shouting us, dinner mate. We really believe that you're the people's people. And you got very lucky with that aniseed, by the way. I did. I did. And that's the game. That's the pizza duel. Pizza for the people. All right. So I think they ran out in like a day. Well, we're just over 24 hours because yeah, they'd just been there the other day later, hey. Can I just say, Ham? What a triumph. And the fact that they've adjusted a road trip, which wouldn't have included heading out to the... Endeavour hills. The deep, deep east suburb of Endeavour hills. And they've got themselves a free pizza. I can't recommend it highly enough. The feeling you get, knowing... Because it's different like, you know, we all like doing things for other people. If you just donate money, it's like, okay, I helped out with a good cause. But to know you've donated pizza, it's just amazing. Yeah, it just feels great. Yeah, I can understand that. Yeah, it feels great. I don't know. I don't want to do it again. I don't know. Had time for the people.

6:03Ham, we have a game show coming up. The price is correct, which is very exciting. Price is correct, featuring the tip in point. We don't know if we... Because we sort of figured out the format, will the game... Will the whole game be the tip in point? Yes. Or will there still be the price is correct, component where we're guessing prices. Yes. And then you don't want to get it wrong because you approach the tip in point. I just mind having two game shows merging as one. I don't mind that at all. I've really had it. I mean, hey, it's had a had red faces in the middle of it. That's true. You can always have a strongest segment of a show within a show. And also, I think it would be... I think it would be... It protects us a little bit. Because if we get prices right, coming out of it's going, hey, that's our show. You're like, what are you talking about? What they would change the name to price is correct. And B, where's your pool? Yeah, where's your pool? And if we get Man O Man, who I feel like we do need to constantly remind people what Man O Man is, game show from the 90s that featured pushing hunks into a pool.

7:06Yes. And it'll exist somehow. It's never been used since that show. And we're going to get access to it. Used one by Nicholas Cage. Because Cage has been in the pool. Yes. Which is awesome. Yeah. If Man O Man comes in and goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, boys. Yes. Out of respect to the industry never touch that pool again. Because that's our pool. Yeah. We're like, what are you talking about? Nick Cage is right. It's prices correct. Oh, sorry. For the boy. Yeah. Yeah. So we can really play off everyone. And if the host of the tipping point, which I believe is Andy Todd Woodbridge. Yep. Great. If he comes in us and goes, boys, what am I hearing about the tipping point? Yeah. We talk about the game. And the more Man O Man goes, I heard that go, Robber Talk, private conversation with the Woody. Not really in the pool you go. It just covers us. It's like, guys, guys. I'll find out when the show's done. Yeah. Exactly. And it's a one-off game show. I aim rings me doing the week, Jack. And goes, you what? If any other radio show in the world had $75,000 of giveaways.

8:09Yep. They would be pumping. Oh, my God. That's a huge price for radio. Particularly these days. They would be promoting their heck out of it. And there'd be some kind of thing to drive more listeners. Because that's what they do. They do these cash and prizes to try and get more listens for ratings, etc. Think about back in the days of one radio. Sometimes it would be, you know, like, and this is great and good on them going, you know, we'll pay your bills like all day long. You know, we'll pay a $200 phone bill, $200. And all day long, they're trying to make more people listen to win their $200. Here we are sitting on a $75,000 prize hall. And we're actually not telling anyone what it is. I don't know if they're doing it or not. I just thought of leveraging it for more audience. Yes. Now, a lot of people would go, well, that's good on you. That's nice that you're above that. We're not above that. No, we're not. We're not. We're not. We're not. I don't think we're better than that. We should be leveraging this for more listeners. Yes. Yes. I'm representing we should. Yeah. So what do you do? Well, we think that's what we came up with.

9:09Yeah. So if you if you head to haymishanity.com, you'll see a link there where the application form is to be a member of the audience and your chance to win the prize pool. Or some of the prizes or, you know, have a crack at winning. Yeah. Or go to the pool. You're going to be in the audience to win the prizes during the game show. Yep. But if you get wet, that's all you get. You get wet sticker when you get. Yeah, like that. So you'll have to on 25 words or less as you fill out this form to be a chance to be an audience member. You'll have to write who of you also enticed to listen to the podcast. Yeah. Or make it 50. Should we make it 50? 50. Yeah, 50. Or how do you propose to get more audience to the podcast? That's good. Yeah. How are you getting the show out there? Well, you're doing to boost numbers. Yeah. As an additional click bit of video upload, we thought it'd be good to put up a video of you getting pushed into a pool or a body of water just to prove that you can swim because it's to the help of the safety people

10:09that come and add us. Hard Jack. It would make a difference for the insurance and the safety people I'm hearing if we say that look, you've got to be able to swim. We have a video of Jeff being pushed in the pool. He's a great contestant. Yeah. He showed us he could do it. He wanted to go in the water. He's got shoes on. It's not a problem. Because in watching a bunch of old shows back to you or no deal, prices right, etc. There are some very old men and women that get to play those games. And I'm just not just to push them in the pool. I just feel like they get close to the tip end point, pushing grand in and not being at a retriever. Yeah, that's true. Having said that, we don't want to discriminate. It's not live. We can edit that. Okay, bring a stunt person in to put grand clothes on and we just get it out. We can just like stop the record. Stunt and comes in. Get stressed in grand clothes, put a wig on and then we just shoot it from behind or with a fast one. Okay, so we gave another tick box.

11:12So if you knock, I'm not a strong swimmer with like the stunt double. Because everyone's going to do that. Everyone's going to do that. But we're just saying video or request is stunt double. No, because there's a stunt over there. So the video is then you've got to get a friend to film. You've got to be blood-plated. Because we've got a better chance either of you. If we sniff that you aren't the kind of person that needs a stunt double and you're just requesting this. So you can say you've had a stunt double, but probably not going to invite you. Yeah, exactly. We like to see people will we ever go in the pool. But if it's like to not discriminate. Marjorie Dorin, you know, Fiddleston. 87 years old. Yeah, she's great TV, but she's a wonderful. And she ticks. I will request a stunt. We go, that's probably fit for Marjorie. Do you know what? If you take you want a stunt double for the pool, there's another 50 words or less. To explain why you think you need a stunt double. Bearing in mind, we're probably going to have a max of two stunt double pushes on the day. Exactly. So you're doing yourself a disservice here. You're now in a shitch go for it. Yeah. Small pool of people that don't want to go in the pool.

12:16And then one more question. Will the health and safety people who don't want us to push people in the pool on the day have any problem with you encouraging people to go and film themselves pushing their friends into a body of water now? They don't because we're not in charge of that pushing. That's voluntary. We're not supposed to do that. That's not a condition of entry. No, we're just going to say that. Is it optional? Yeah. Wood. Help your application. Yes. It's not completely necessary to do that. And I'm sorry, I was a bit late. I asked for you to do that. There are 80 year olds that would be very comfortable being pushed in the pool. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. There might not be, you know, there might be some that aren't. Yes. So maximum two stunt doubles. I think that covers that. We just want to see how you actually form it. Of the show will figure that out. Well, I'm not about this. Here's the other thing I wanted to break up. I know we liked the idea of like just waiting until we record the game show to reveal all these prizes. But I've got now we have a way to go back to the radio thing.

13:17It's like when you've got a prize, you talk about it non-stop. Exactly. I don't know why I always bring this up, but I just remember and one of our years on radio, they were given away Kelly Clarkson's convertible. Yeah. And yeah. I feel like that contest went for nine months. Yeah, it's just went forever. They didn't go, we're given away a special something that it's owned by a special someone. No. So yeah. Really let you know it was Kelly Clarkson's convertible. Yeah, exactly. So I think we have to start talking about the prizes. And that will encourage more people to click on the form, apply and click. And even if you're in unconfident pull for a lot, it might give you time to go. Okay, yeah. I don't love my chances of being one of the only two selected that will be using a stunt double. I am going to take survival courses, full survival courses to be in because it was about 134 people in the audience. That's the bleachers number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe like I want to be in the 132 that are willing to, you know, go on the pool, buy themselves.

14:18Can we also with the people that select stunt double, it is assumed that you're bringing the same pair of clothes twice or that you're happy for us to dress you on the day? Because I don't think we can... No, you don't. I think... Are you meaning it's just a bit of a stop down? Well, what you want them to get out of there, actually clothes and then put on a stand. Can wander off, get in a robe and then the stuff. Oh, do you think... Well, I have to give us... All right, if you're doing stunt double, yeah, fine, bring, bring doubles. Or I can give us your dimensions. Also, because we need to get... We quicker, because time is my... This is like... This is like... We die for your climates. We're like, guys, it's so much easier for us. Just no diet freeze. But this is like... Okay, we need your dimensions to, because if NANN's 5 foot nothing, and we've got, you know, Rachel, who's the stuntie, and she's 6 foot 6. Yeah. It will get a note, but there we go. We'll get a note. But you don't want to be one of those stunt double, so we'll never reveal it. By the time the broadcast goes online, we shouldn't be able to tell as a viewer

15:19who the stunt double is. Yeah, okay. Maybe we'll reserve one of the prizes. Okay, play along at home for everyone. If you accurately guess who the stunt double push in was... I think you'll be... It is. Bit of a homie you're showing. No faith in the stunt community, Jack. And you showed him, no faith in that. Well, I'll just look for the one that's shot far away in blurry. If we go one more far away. If no one picks it, the stunt double gets the prize. Right. Yeah. Great. Great. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is... This is got to put this, you've got to just check this stuff off. Yeah. The other thing we were thinking of doing was, do I announce... Yeah, every week, one of the prizes. Right. There's still a lot of mystery prizes left. But just to give you a little... How many times... 30 prizes, don't we? Yeah, there's 29. So if you do one a week for the next 10 weeks, that takes us to the show. Still a lot of surprises. I'm also... Do you know what?

16:20Because I only looked at the list like last week. And I was like, man, there's so many things on here. Because it was a frenzy. It's actually... I actually felt the pressure to just pump out some prizes. One, I think is bland. Okay. Do you want to strick it? Strick it from the record. I want to sell it. Okay. I want to sell it on marketplace. I know we're going to take a hit. But then I also saw something. Awesome on Instagram the other day. I was like, I wish we had more kitty. Yeah, right. Okay. So you got to sell it and buy something new. Do you know what? We're in the room doing it. In the room was like me and Carly. She was doing a lot of the admin. Yeah. You know, she didn't see him too. She said... Campbell's filming and I'm like, what? I was like for a second. Because Instagram quimk give me ads fast enough. So I'm bouncing out to other websites and things. I'm like, what do you guys want? What do you guys want? I'm not having you go to Campbell here. But he goes, what about those TVs like a frame TV? A flat TV. So I'm like, you know, I've been bored. But then after I'm like, that's... Again, I appreciate people want TVs, but it just doesn't feel... Incredible. It feels like a normal game show. It's very normal. I'm going to be selling that in the background and reinvesting the funds.

17:20So we're going to take a little haircut on that because I paid for retail off-scenes. Because I think I just went straight to a retailer. Yeah. But I think for what I can reinvest, it'll be better. So I'm just saying you know. And if anything else just feels not right to me, I'll probably sell those reinvest the products. So there's going to be a little bit of that going on in the background. How much do you sell on the TV for? No, Jack. I don't want it. Hey, Jack did it. I think we've got to tell you this already. But I'm going to show you my first TV show. Because it's in the exact same studio, which got acts. We had a contest doing it. And they came down and said, hey, we're giving away, I think it was a TEC. I think. Whatever. Something like that. JVC, one of the... JVC, it was not the top tier electronics brands. Yeah, we're giving away a JVC. It was more. And can you please say that you win the JVC 40-inch television?

18:21And we're like, oh great, do we have a sponsor? And they won't know, but we'd like to make it look like we had. So it was Gordon Boy, what are you going to buy it? We're paying it. The gentleman is buying it. I was like, so... Wouldn't you be happy if you're from JVC? It looks like you're getting an ad. Or whatever you're like, yeah, they'll be delighted. Because we've been paid, they've got to sale, and to free ad. That's kind of what we've done on this. Yes. We've spent our own money buying these products. And did that work to encourage other sponsors to come and bought? Because they saw the JVC and we'll go. Back to doing next. Back to doing next. It would be a nice case study to look at. But yes, we burnt the house down before. They had time to find that out. Can I say this then? To anyone who's products were bought, if you feel that we've done a good job presenting the brand, you can retrospectively pay us. You can re-assign the product. Pay no money. You can reach out. So then we can put it back into the key to do more fun things. So if you feel like you did get a good work, be good, be kind, and just... That's going to be so slow.

19:23Well, I'm absolutely happy. Imagine you've got Jack's running the company. I did like that. I thought they could have done better. I'm not giving up. Open the checkbook on this occasion. We might be surprised. Yeah, we might be surprised. And then that doesn't open up a new area of concern, because we weren't allowed to mention who the sponsor of the game show is. So if someone retroactively goes, yes, that was my frame TV. I consider that a sponsor. Here's the money. Now we've again had a sponsor on the show competing with the primary sponsor. Yeah, we've accepted money for a brand we did mention. Yeah, maybe just under the table. Do we just do that? The table's going... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, we'll just go out of the library. Like a preferred method. Yeah, we'll go in. We'll go in and find a jack's house. Why are the tables so high? I prefer it. So there's more space under the table. The dealings. The table's... What's the problem? Do you hear the roof? Yes, I'm going to... There's another table under the table where we can meet catch up, show each other laptops.

20:26I... Okay. What exciting things today. The first prize reveal. All right, here we go. Here we go. Who? It's Jan! Table tennis training robot. A table tennis training robot. Table tennis training robot. Wow. From what I remember, the Omni-S Pro table tennis ball picker is a robot from a company that makes table tennis robots. Think of it like a little tennis ball machine that fires balls over your side of the table. So you can hit them back. But from what, again, from what I remember, there's sort of a net system behind the table. The catchers of balls, you get back, returns them sort of. They feed back down back into the robot and it just keeps pulling balls at you and you can train table tennis by yourself. Oh, I love that. I can't say how much it is. No. Because obviously, it could feature in one of the games where you have to guess the prize. But let me just say this. It's more than you'd think. Did it come with the table or you beat my table?

21:29No. It's a robot jacked as a ball machine. Come with a tennis court. It is the technology itself is the outstanding part. And the net system. Again, from what I remember, it was very big and it would all kind of feed back into the robot. I think there's different settings on the robot. I love it. I love it. I think it even puts spin on it. It might be making that better. But it seems like the kind of machine that could do that. Head to www.hammishneedy.com guys and a more taste. Is that better than a TV? Yeah, easily. Hey, we have to. Let's not just discuss this very, very quickly, but we are talking about it a lot off here. But as we get it off, just. But also acknowledging that we know this can't become a golf podcast. Even the three of us enjoy playing golf. But as we previously agreed to on the show, you can sometimes talk about painting paintings. Yes, painting something we all understand, painting something everyone likes. And you and I went away for a very special painting holiday

22:31on the weekend where we were not only watching our ballwaters and painting our brushes. I was so excited. I even bought a brand new smock there. A couple of small ones and a couple of new painting hats. Get their burrows. I suppose. But more of a peaked burrow, you'd call it a cap. At this very special painting club we went to over in New Zealand. A very fancy painting club. Like some of the best painting clubs in the world. Yeah. The kind of club where, if you know, Leonardo da Vinci did get reincarnated, he'd be kicking himself and he couldn't paint there. It's a real nice place to paint. Yeah. And, um, Hamish did the best way to describe this. I went, I went to paint my picture, yeah, um, during one of the painting sessions. Yeah. And if you've ever had the experience, this is very rare in painting where you put the, just, you just go, I'll just do the undercoat and then I'll paint the Nonellisa. You put the undercoat on and long behold, you've accidentally bought your paint

23:32and the motor Lisa with the undercoat. You were on stroke. You were on stroke. You were on stroke. You accidentally painted a complete picture. He's on all of one. He's on one. He's what you call an engulf. You better one, a one stroke, Nonellisa. He's what you call an in painting, engulfing one. There we went to do as an artist. Just put aside the analogy for a second. He's had a hole in one jack. Incredible. Now this was incredible. Right? Couldn't believe it. My soul left my body. And it was, it was, it was, it was, it's quite wild because of course, okay, we probably just have to use the terminology of golf, small ball golf here to, to, to clarify. I have had a hole in one foot golf before. But I think we're just going to keep them separate just because small ball golf is a bit harder to have a hole in one end. It because the hole is very small. That's a long way away. Long way away. When you hit the ball down there. For this particular shot, 165 meters away in a tiny hole. Society's about coffee mug.

24:32My eyes aren't that great. And I, you know, I've been in that position before. You're like, you think, you think something good has happened. You just, you just can't see the ball anymore. And it's about 20 meters away from the hole. And it's, you know, brought off the back. So, but we're with people who are like looking. Everyone's looking down there going, I think it's in, I think it's in. But you just dare not believe. You just looking at those lotto numbers. You're looking at the TV. They're lining up. You get a copy right. I just can't be right. It could be hiding behind the pin. Just, you know, playing a little trick. I've not won powerball, but it would be like that feeling of going, hang on and say, are those numbers these numbers? You just keep checking it too early. I'm actually watching something that I taped from last week. And I'm watching an old powerball. Tell a cast that would be horrible. Just check everything. You don't want to be the guy that takes you top off. He runs around your head, runs down there, and then finds the ball 10 meters away from the hole. Yes. So, disbelief. It is disbelief, because we were very much lost for words. And you see a lot of men just laughing, laughing,

25:34and giggling and almost delusioning. So, it's easy for my wife. Yeah. So, I mean, it's not going to be much, but my brother was filming, and you'll hear how lost for words, but how high on giggles we are. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, man! Awesome! Awesome! Yes. It's just Deleurian. It was just a pure Deleurian. Can I ask something? This special fancy course in New Zealand is also where Andy got his hole in one? Yes. So, it's an easy course to get a hole in one. That's what my dad said. First thing my dad said was like, he'd go into a few things. In my first baby easy course. He goes, he goes, oh, I didn't get a hole in one in the same hole. What's going on with that hole? Is it like that hole? What's at the same hole? No, this is Jack hole.

26:34You and Noel Blake can join me. The air poppers club as you try and take them wind out of our sales and deflate our balloon of excitement. No, I just think it's interesting that Andy got it there and Andy's friend Marty got a hole in one there. Is that my thing? Yeah, he was a go though. People catch it. So, I get it. They've got a GJ. Three different holes. Maybe they make it easier at a fancy course. So, to use the power ball and allergy jack. Maybe this is like going, I'm going to hang on a sec. Someone's bloody winning this every week. I love that. No, but it'd be like you and you. You open up the paper, someone's one. No, but it's like Andy winning week one. You winning week two. You money winning week three. This is what I find interesting. Basically, people have been split between two different things. One is jubilation. The other is a little bit of anger. A jubilation. A jubilation of jealousy and they come in equal parts to me. You were the first, you were the first jealous cap off the ranch. I'll give you another one. I'll give you the one. This morning, Mick Boyle. He's jealous. He came up to me. This is what he said. And I had to quickly write it down so I got it right.

27:36Because he just said this and then walked off. Can't believe it. I'm not happy with him. I'm actually shitty with him. You have to earn this stuff. Shookies head and then went to the toilet. I have to earn it. What more can I do? I've played for almost five whole years. I have every training age you can buy all these different. None of them get used more than twice. Oh, I've earned it, mate. This has cost me thousands of dollars. Follishly purchase training aids. Our mate from New York, Eddie Bucks, who runs old mates with us. He rang me this morning and goes, did Hamish really get a whole with what? I know. I know. The whole thing. You were on the hoax team, Jack. So basically for the next, after the whole of mine, I was like, I couldn't focus starting getting a bit of tequila. So I was like, you know what? This is not what you normally do during a painting club session. But I'm going to take the next couple of holes off. I'm finished. I'm finished. I'm going to take these next, these next, art pieces of artwork, worse slops. People are like, what is this? Is this one of those paintings that elephants do? This is terrible. No, I couldn't, I was just like, this is silly.

28:36I'm just going to enjoy the moment. So basically I was drinking and just texting everyone that I never played golf with in my life. And you were very, you were quick off the rank there, Jack. Well, we did one of the first people. That video that we just heard, you didn't send that. All you sent was a photo of you crouching and getting a ball out of a hole with a smile on your face. Yes. Which could be, you could set that up. That doesn't prove anything, no, that I think that's a lot of it. I don't think you're that type of person, but I wanted to believe it was a hoe. Wow. Did it happen? It was a hoe? I didn't, I can go back and find the message, but it was just, it was a few photos of us just all losing it. And then going, I gave you the quick story. Can't believe it. This is incredible. I'm in shock. You just sent back the emoji of, now I know this is an audio medium, so I'll have to make the noise that you would think this emoji makes. But the emoji is just going, it's rubbing his chin and he's having a thing. And that was me having the, I mean, he's really angry. He's angry. He's a bit, he's a bit, he's a bit, he's a bit,

29:37so you were born in the jealousy camp. I was more of, that was the instant reaction. Yes. So over the day, I've become happy for you. There's actually a third camp, and I'm sure a lot of people listening are in the third camp, which is if you don't, you don't care about golf. You don't know about golf. Is that a hard idea? It's a different camp. So I could tell, she could tell how excited it was. She was my first text. I was like, I know this means nothing to you, but you have to be the first person I tell, because I love you. And you're my wife. And also tell the kids, because this could get, this could get a bit of traction there. I could tell she was trying to be excited for me, but I know to her it sounds like I've got a strike in bowling. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I've got a strike. Didn't even touch the sides. And now we're going to drink for two days. It's like, well, no, that's very good. But yeah, deck was a bit the same. She's like, oh, well, everyone's getting what? That's a way to feel that we're not at this soon. Cause it's easy to get a hole in what? That's why I had to sit back down and sit. Beck, it's a one in 17 and a half thousand shots on a normal course.

30:40I don't know. And she's like, oh, well, okay, okay. And she still didn't, she's, you take a lot of shots in golf. Like, well, yeah, sometimes more than you would need to, because we're not back good. But I said to put in perspective for you, but maybe you can only get a hole in one from the first shot. Yeah. Your last shot on a hole is always a hole in one. Yes. But you get 12 before that. You normally get three goes around because there's not only three paths that you could possibly make. And I'm getting to technically, so I put it in these terms to back. I asked AI, I said, for someone of this handicap, how long would it take them normally to get a hole in one that put in Haynes handicap? They said 89, he should have waited 89 years. That's amazing. Had a sketch. Yeah, he's ahead of sketch. Yeah. Why is the head of sketch? Why wait? Get it done. Take it off. Get it on the way. It's early in your life. I tried to explain it. I went another analogy because I was like, okay, what's this sport that's kind of universally understood?

31:40Soccer. Is that all right? Think about in the World Cup. When the goal gets it, and he kicks the ball to the kind of middle of field or a bit longer, then imagine he went to pass the ball close. All right. And the goal goes to passable close, but suddenly the ball just magically seems to like pick up into the air and start winging and going down the field. I'm like, good enough. So, just around everyone, and even the other goalie can't stop it. And it's just, it started as a pass and it's ended as a goal. That may be the sort of energy because you are actually going for the hole in golf. Yeah. It's just like, when a fluke was lost in the field. It makes it sound like there's elements of matric involved. Yeah. Okay. Well, all right. Well, all I can say is, he's line up at the city to surf that you run every year and a good, maybe you run an hour and a half and a fun run, 14 kilometre fun run. Australia's biggest fun run. And you've done it for 20 years, and you're just jogging along, do it with your friends, and you cross the line, you're looking at what you got, my God, I did it in 10 minutes. How did I do that? Yeah, it seems like I've got a pass.

32:42All I can say is this thing. I've got friends that have been playing for over 50 years who have never had it. And as Eddie Bucks said this morning, he said, you have to wait longer for golf for greatest joy. And I said, no, no. Hey, don't. I was curious enough of the agony. Don't you worry about that? Yeah. This is, do you know, do you know, do you, do you know, do you know, I think that the, this is all wrapped up there? Because anyone that plays golf, it's a game of extreme frustration. And it basically, exclusively never goes your way. Yes. Like the whole day is golf just reminding me of being not good enough. Yeah, absolutely. Calling your pants down. Like absolutely. You have your whole day's hoping, like, please don't go in there. It goes in there. Please be good. Oh my God, those are the worst things I've ever done. Just, and you're like, you hate yourself. You're like, I've spent all this money. What am I doing? This is just so dumb. What are the worst things? This is something worse first. Like, that's just golf mostly. And so for one moment, you pulled golf's pants down. Yeah.

33:43You did the thing. It's been, it's been doing to you for all these years. And for this, like once in a laugh moment, you're like, hang on a sec. I'm a boss of golf right now. It's not the boss of me. Then it goes straight back to being the boss of you and that's that. But for one moment, you experienced it. So happy I was there. Well done, mate. We should paint again soon. I can't wait to actually paint. We are. Painting tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Jack, a quick update on the board game that cause we obviously last episode offered you an assistant in an Irish chap called Dutor, who was out here working for one, a hundred drop, got junk at the moment. He was able to squeeze one day off a week and could be your assistant to help you at the board game. We do mention that coming in your fair bit. There's no financial kickback going on here. No, another one that we can name. So we... Well, I've certainly mentioned

34:44as I've used him a few times before. That feels they feel like I've overpaid before. So I'm like, I don't know how to take him down. I'd be like, I'm just saying, I feel like we keep doing ads for them. I'm happy to if we could come to some sort of refunds. What do I say, remurlement? Works that are a removal company. Yeah. Just junk removal. Yeah, yeah. I'm not saying, I mean, I just feel like I'm... Yeah, I just feel like I've had through the nose a few times. But that's all right. That's simply balance is it? I think that was my opinion. Yes, but they do. Well, I don't know what I'm doing. They're not... They're not responsible. They're not good or bad. They're great. They're whatever. Anyway, I don't think Dolphal mine, because why he is working for them, that's not his dream to be a junk removalist. Yeah. He... Would you now, without giving too much away, would he be his dream to be a board game founder's assistant? No, that's not his dream either, but I will say that he came with a good energy. Great. Well, he's Irish. I mean, that was the walk-up start. I mean, Irish people have great energy.

35:45Hey, Mish and I are paying for him to be your assistant, because you requested it from us. And hence, he actually reports back to us, even though you're his boss. Yeah. Yeah. I... There's a few things. I asked him to secretly record the day. So we're going to get a sense. Now, boy, was there a lot to wade through? He was an eight-hour day. He was a lot to do. Oh my God. I'm next meeting with him for so much. Jack, my first instinct from me was, you didn't really prepare for the day. Well, I didn't prepare eight hours worth. So when we were like an hour in, and I was looking at my watch thing, it's 10 a.m., then I started, it felt a bit more like babysitting, because I was... It actually took up my time trying to think of things for him to do. Interesting question. Is this the first time you've ever had an employee? Of course. Yeah.

36:45It's not a good question. It's not... No, well, yes. This is the first time I've ever had somebody who I had to even give tasks to. Yeah. And I don't... I actually don't like that feeling. Yeah. I... I feel like going... We need to be prepared. Yeah, but even like doing something hard, like, oh, could you do this? So like, oh, you probably wouldn't want to do that. I would be terrible to have a real assistant. Okay. Yeah, even though you asked me to. You do have a real assistant. You are literally demanded one, and we got you one. So... This... Yeah, I mean, we haven't like pulled a prank on you or anything here. We literally just followed your request. No, what you did, you... Oh, I felt like there was a little bit in bad faith. I asked for paid assistant, and I assumed that would be somebody either with board game experience or studying board game. Well, see, what this is, the confusing part is, that's the assistant in the band. Or action your plans. It seemed for me listening to everything throughout the day, is you just wanted him to come up with a great board game, and you go, yes. Thanks for being... You wanted someone else to solve the problem. No, well, I did... I ran out of things for him to do, so come up with board games ideas

37:46was like the first thing on my list for him to do. Yeah, so that's, say, hey, we start the day. Have the idea. Have the idea. Have the idea. I'm not ready for... Yeah, I'm not ready to. I'm not saying, tell us the idea, but it can't be his main task to come up with the idea, because the idea is meant to be there. Yeah, so you... He didn't start recording from the study, must have been nervous. But I can only assume from the conversations I was listening to, that you had started with a task of research board games. Yep. I think it was this. Research board games? Tell me what type of board games are out there. Oh my God. No, wait, it's okay. That's just hard for me. I'm from a standing style for him. You always... I mean, he's... What else can he do, but come back and go right? So this is one called monopoly. You know, yes, I know about that. He came and I asked him what he's good at, and he had just finished doing a history degree at university, he said, I'm very good at research. Yes, so I said, okay, well, and this was off the top of the head, I didn't have this one there.

38:46Oh no, shit. Why don't you do some market research on board games? And that will... This is the one I said to him, but they'll buy me some time to think of more. You're good. So you learn. You don't say that to your employees, but... So... How do you do this? Well, I go in the other room and breathe into a paper bag and just think about what I could get you to do. Dolt is answering the brief that we've given him, which is just a cisjack in any way you want. So then, Dolt is now asking Jack questions about what he might want to try and get it out of him. This is the first little grab that I'll grab. Okay. Well, that's the objective of the game and what purpose is it, so if I... Is it collaborative and social, strategic and challenging? Personally, if I was choosing, not worrying about the audience's expectation, I would make it strategic and challenging. Okay, yeah. And that would be my priority for it. So... So he's now interviewing you.

39:48Is that what's going on? He's saying to Jack. Also, Dolt, you have the idea. He also said not caring about the audience. I would just like... The whole idea is to care about the audience. I said that was a qualifier. If I wasn't caring about the audience, obviously I am. So I won't just make the game that I want to play. So then, Dolt is like, well, Dolt doesn't... He's from Ireland. He doesn't know about the podcast. He's trying to catch up on two things. Our whole back is for you, our careers. And also trying to get an escape of what Jack can do with this game. So then he is asking Jack, well, how much of the podcast needs to be in this game? People feel connected to you. And I think that's what you're building on. You're building on this kind of relationship. You want to have a relationship, I guess, with your players and audience. Because it is... It's not just a board game. It's one that is connected to you guys as individuals. Yeah, okay. That's important. Because I think what I was trying to do was make a game that didn't really...

40:50didn't have to have things from the podcast. Which makes it no sense. So, the community podcast, the board game, featuring no connections to that English-dehetic podcast, coming soon. So, can I just say, if someone just tuned in there and they were asked, what do you think the relationship between these two men is? It sounds like that Irishman is the other man's mentor. Yeah. And it's not an electrifying conversation by the way. That is a 20-minute scene. That is a 20-minute scene. And that's the best person. It sounds like he's the guy trying to help, like, you find your way. It sounds like you've paid in a few hundred dollars to, like, do a mentoring session. It's like a live coach, yeah. Minute 34. This is the next bit we're in, got to, where... Dolder's still trying to give an understanding from his boss as to what's required for this game? Some games, I think, really follow the part if you... Like, they say that they're from two to four players,

41:52but if you have two, it's quite awkward. Yes. So, I think... I pictured more people playing there. I pictured it more social. Yeah. Okay, so it's still this picture, which I think you keep picturing people playing the game and having fun. You're picturing the outcome you want. vague about what actual game they're playing. I know you're talking about the feeling that I want people to have while they're playing. And the fun experience I want them to have. Yeah. That's like me going, I've got a movie idea. Now, the audience is absolutely howling with laughter. Yeah, that's good. We never know. Now we know it's a comedy. After the show. After the show they're coming out there, high-fiving me. And I'm buzzing, because it's gone so well. It's gone so well, and all the acting was amazing. What's the film about? So, Dolder did a great job. Dolder did a great job, Herr, of mentoring Jay. Continuing to try and ask him questions to work out what he should be. What am I doing here? What am I doing here? What am I doing here? And it hits about minute 46.

42:54Right. Gosh, this was a long listen by the way. Of two men. Well done, Neon, ain't. Well done to me as well, because I took time out of my day to have meetings with him. Okay. But you meant to be, this is your job, you said you were a work-on. And assistant, he's meant to save you time. But I actually felt like if anything, I'd just spent more time. Yes, I would. Because you haven't been able to clearly articulate to the assistant what the purpose of this company is. What are we making? You've turned up, he's turned up for day one at BHP. And they've gone, look, we know we want to do something with getting things out of the ground. And he's having to go, okay, well, iron ore is valuable if you thought about iron ore. Yeah, yeah, we were mad. Yeah, that's a good one. Imagining how that would be, you have imagined a lot of trains filled with iron ore. Okay, how are you going to get it out? Have you got a digger? So we need a digger. We will need a digger. Don't play anymore of this. I feel like we could be like this. This is where we're here. And I've taken an axe and went for too long. Jack, it dawns on Jack that you haven't done any prep or thought of a book game.

43:59And he's there going, what are we doing? And you pitched back to him, common man lane. Peter, it's going forever. Right, someone can listen to it. But you're slowly trying to remember it. You could do it. Yeah, you could do it. The board came, the boat that's just said we don't want it. Even I have said on the show I don't want it. That's all I had to work with. It's more important for this guy to think I've done something. And did you, I couldn't wait for that. But did you play it like on Friday or something again, like to try and remind yourself of common man lane. You're like, you referenced, you've played it recently with the, did you play it with the professor? No, no, no. The board game professor, the only helpful person I've actually met in this whole thing. He came and played by like the new version of the game I'm trying to work on. Right. We played that on Friday. Yes. And that was revealed that the game wasn't very fun. Yeah, that's easy. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,

45:01because I'm sitting in the whole time going, why are you telling me about the game? Yes, because the new game I thought of is now in the bin as well. So, so, Jack, well, Jack, and the last time he checked into your, you said you thought you were like out of one to ten, you thought you were seven, you found out you were one. Now you're at a zero. Down back to zero, yes. Right, so he, he then tells this whole story, it goes for a long time. And this is the end of that. This is coming to an end in Daughter's response. And so, if we can ask, what did you say that he had some objections or something that kind of, I'll start a little momentum. We just played like we played the idea of how we played it. And it just wasn't that strong. Did you say that it was just actually a bit boring? I'm covered, Lee. I thought we were getting along, but that sounds like two people were having trouble having this guy. It's, it can't sound like he's absolutely your business coach.

46:03Your wife coach trying to untangle this. Then, that was, so that is me referencing playing with the board game professor, the new game that I thought might be fun. So after an hour, after an hour, this and probably close to Daughter's phone running out of out of space, memory space, to actually record, there's a really slow conversation. This is where it gets to. It's just way harder than I thought it would be to back in the board game. I was. So, I definitely need to have more of a think about it, but that's good that you're here because today is making me think about the game. What, what do we do next? It's a good question.

47:04I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm going to work. You've got to go. How's your first set work? I think work is a strong word. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry. Here's the kicker. This is the final question. Did you then ask him to do personal tasks for you? He did some yard work so I could think about the game. I was really for him and I don't think he should come back with a flick because I'm not ready for it. I checked him. How was your first day on the job? He was good. I was good. I was good. I was good. He's getting pretty much in bliss now.

48:06It was good. Better than I expected. Give it our first introduction. We might make a board game yet and I'm going to hate it. I've listened to this. It didn't sound like it was going to write that. I just wanted to get a sense from the Irishman who needs a job. How he would approach the feedback. Great. He'd be keen to do more days here for quiet. He wrote back 100% really appreciated the opportunity. He's in. He's in. He's in. He's in. That was just a waste of time for both of us. I think. Good that he was getting paid because he deserved to. We didn't do any for his yard work. Jack has to pay us back for the yard work. No, no, no. Because I lost time with the last time doing the meetings with him. No, no, no, no. I think I might could have used on the board game. No, you wouldn't. What board game? I could have. Through three hours I spent giving him tasks and coming up with tasks.

49:06That could have been spent thinking of the board game. So it's better to not have the assistant going forward until I'm actually in production. Okay, so you would like to pause the assistant? Yes, unless you're willing to give the money to the board game professor who's actually helpful. No, no, no. That's crazy. We've got a person who has all the knowledge of board games you could possibly have. I want someone to do it for you. I don't want him to do it for me. I'm very close to having a breakthrough idea. I just need a bit of help. In the yard. Didn't we save you, Raking and Moe and Tyne? Mainly splitting wood from the audio. I could turn it. He's still an end up splitting wood. He just filled the green bit with some weeds. No! We are Poking tribute at www.hamishanandie.com