329: RIP Back Pain & Ah-WOO-Gah (with Jane Levy)

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1:04We have got a banger today. Oh boy. Everything. Talk about a summer in an autumn. I mean, these two calls. So we're here with special guest, Jane Levy. You know Jane from whatever the goddamn you know her from. I'm really excited about River. Since when are you a horror van? My daughter. Oh right, right, right. I'm going to watch it for sure. I am. Great. Cool. And Jane, how did you become a screen queen walk us through that arc? I basically auditioned for a movie. I got the part and then I was in it and then it made a lot of money. And which one was that? It was the evil dead remake in 2013. Well, that's right. That's what started you. Yeah. But you know what's funny about that is after my audition, I actually came back, knocked on the door and said, can I apologize for how crazy I went in the audition? Because I had to act like a possessed person. And I went like, you know how loud I was at the table. Read yesterday I was also embarrassed about how loud I yelled. Now you're great.

2:04That was perfect. But like I was like, oh, they want me to do this. I should go like a million percent. And that's what I did for my evil dead audition. And I was so ashamed that I went and apologized. Wow. Well, I think you know me a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't that story track? Yes. But you got it. I got it. Yeah. Turbo, psycho, possessed, I'm going to watch it. And then what other, what movie are you in that you got nominated for the Indie spirit of what's the name of that one? That one's called a little prayer. Thanks for watching. Not. I'm going to tell everybody about that movie. It's a movie that I made in North Carolina. And thanks for burning me from 1995. And it's about, it's like a, it's written by the guy who wrote June bug. Oh, okay. He also directed it. His name is Angus McLaughlin. It's like a slice of life, small family independent drama. And where can, where can people watch it?

3:05I think it's on most things like you can stream on Apple, Amazon, iTunes, the way Apple and iTunes are the same. I know it's on Amazon. I know it's on Apple. And then tell us about the show we're doing together called sunset, PI written by the great Dan Gore and Luke Del Tradachi. Del Tradachi. Del Tradachi. Del Tradachi. Del Tradachi, who are as good of show runners as I've ever worked with. Yeah, we're having a really, really, really, really good time. I love those guys. Me too. The scripts are so unthinkably good. Yeah. If this show doesn't work with the audience, I've officially given up on my read of culture and taste. Totally agree. That one was six is excellent. Everybody's funny. Yeah. Keith David, Langston, her name is Mary Shalady. Everybody killers. But Jane, tell us a little bit about what sunset PI is.

4:06People aren't going to be able to watch till February. This is way too early, but we're just having fun. It's about, um, nice. But what you really need to know, if you're listening to this podcast, you already know Jake is one of the funniest people ever. And I met more of the, I met more of the promise. Well, I was like, what are we? We're private. What? We're private investigators. We're not. No, we're not cops. Private investigators. We were really cool outfits. Beth Morgan is our costume designer. I love what I get to wear. Let's talk about my clothes in the show. Okay. Thanks. Gotta go. It's just, um, pretty simple premise, but like incredibly funny and so fun and stylish. So Jane, thank you for doing our show. You're a joy to join. Thank you, Jane. And everybody enjoy some ads. Okay. Okay. And we are brought to you by Wayfarer.

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8:17your new wireless plan for just $15 a month go to Mint Mobile dot com slash here to help. That's Mint Mobile dot com slash here to help cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at Mint Mobile dot com slash here to help up from payment of $45 three months, $90 for six months or 180 for 12 months plan required $15 a month equivalent taxes and fees extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes may slow and network is busy includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot capable device required availability speed and coverage varies. See Mint Mobile dot com. Hello. Hello, how are you? Good. How are you? Good. Can we get your name please? Want to go with Rebecca? Rebecca, where are you calling from today, lady? Colorado. Rebecca really quickly. Gareth has a mustache. She's going through a handsome stage. You should check it out on YouTube. It's worth seeing. And you've got a special guest today. My co star from sunset PI.

9:18You know her from Zoe's extraordinary playlist. You know her from suburgatory. And you know her from the new movie that I want to see that I read about again today, Jane. River. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Jane. Leave me. How you doing, Jane? I'm good. I'm excited to be here. I'm a big fan of the pod. She's a. Jane, I gotta say you're acting really normal. Really good start. I'm excited to be here. Do I have a normal? That's true. That's true. Rebecca, what is your issue today? All right. So my husband and I have a house. And there's we have four bedrooms. So there's two kind of upstairs on the main floor. Then in the basement, we have one room as a guest room and then directly across from that room. We have what we call the dungeon, which is essentially a sex room.

10:23And so I think like air skin rug, velvet curtains. There's like a big metal LED sign with my stripper alter ego name on it. And like. So I don't. Rebecca Rebecca Rebecca Rebecca you're going a little bit fast now. Sorry. It's awesome. That's everybody just take a minute. There's a lot. Should we all shower come back in five? What do you want to do? So for starters, Rebecca, what is your alter ego? Oh, we're getting to see it. So Jane, will you walk us through what you see? Okay. There is like a black light. Yeah. Uh, purple light that says liquid assets. And there's a dripping assets is double S assets with money signs for the S's. Okay. Great. Very. Whoa. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a coffin. Okay. Oh, yes. I keep going, Jane. What's in that coffin in the coffin?

11:24There seems to be. I actually can't see it that well. That's syringes. Oh, my God. It's a little beat. What do we classify as BDS Mish? What's the in part? Yeah. It sort of looks like there's some van Helsing stuff, but then also some sex stuff. There's also like a some sort of thing where you can get strapped to it and hung upside down maybe. Yeah. Either. Well, there's also a chair that's good for back support. Yeah. There's you got your lumbar stuff and your bang swing. So that's cool. All right, Rebecca. So your stripper name is liquid assets. Yes. I work in finance. Wow. This is cool. This is really cool. Okay. And you've got a nice looking couch. There's kind of a good vibe. But it's a little, you know what? But it's a good, it's a good looking sex couch. Also, I'm going to mention there's no windows. No windows. No. No window. Sorry. It's not in the photo, but there's like some velvet curtains over the window. Oh, yeah. You did say current.

12:25But it's a basement. Yes. A small room where you and your husband go to have maybe a little more people, Gareth. Huh? There might be others. There might be others too. Now, can I ask you, what is the, the, the sort, the thing that Jake said that it looks like it's for your back? What is that exactly? The, which, which thing? Like the, like thing? Yes. No, we know what the coffin is next to it. There's like a, what looks like a, and looks like the outline of a shoe, but I know that's what you lay on. You, you'd like, you'd like, I would think you lay on it to stretch your back sort of way. You go upside down to take the pressure off his spine. I don't think she lays on a distrash her back. Oh, I don't think so either. Some else gets. Yeah. No, that's actually what that is for. Oh, I'll ask that. You guys are perverts because sometimes you throw your back out doing this stuff. Well, it's a sex room. It's a sex room for older people. My, my, I guess, touch my hands before we do that. Okay. So Rebecca, we're getting a sense of this. Let me ask a question before we get into the nitty gritty.

13:27You guys got kids living in that house with you? No. Okay. No kids. You guys pets? No pets. I can't understand what the problem would possibly be, Rebecca. So what's going on then? Hold on, Jane. What do you got? Hold on one second. After we, um, let's hear it. Let's hear it. What do you got? How many years have you been married? We've been married for four years. Okay. How old are you? 31. Okay. Where are you going with this question? And I'm just curious. Because they're having a lot of sex. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Totally. That's right. Yeah. Okay. So keep going. Everything about this is interesting, Rebecca. It seems like you're in finance, but you got this side life with your husband that seems really fun for you guys. Golly, I can't see a problem here. Guest room dungeon. Things are good. Four bedroom house. Four bedroom house. You have space. You go both have jobs.

14:28You're fucking like crazy. Also, you stretch your backs out. Your backs are really nicely stretched out. To not only be having all that sex, but also go like my back feels great. It feels great. I'm kind of like a steak put through my arm and my back has never been looser. Rebecca, let me ask you a question. My name is Jay. Here's my problem. How do I get that sex dungeon in my house and my wife to agree to go in there with me? Oh, please. I want to call a show called Problem Solvers with Rebecca and fucking what are you guys doing? I want to be called liquid assets. You also, Gareth knows as a fact, the money thing turns me on too. You imagine my name with assing it with the money sign. Oh, ho, ho. Totally. I said all of a sudden there's a dollar sign. Give me a break. I'm loving this. But Rebecca, what the hell is the problem? The problem is we live in Colorado. Everyone wants to come visit us. We have guests a lot. And my sister is going to come and stay with us for two weeks next month.

15:30And my parents stay in this guest room. Like there's just like a lot of people kind of pass them through the house. And so my question is how do we conceal the guest or the sex room? How do we either keep people from seeing it or if they do see it? What do we tell them so that they don't know what we're up to? Fucking a dynamite, dynamite problem. Jane, your first thoughts and my first thoughts are bad. Like put a lock on the door and if anyone ends up in there, have no shame. Just. You guys have tons of sex and that you're really cool. Yeah. The lock on the door is a clean one. Rebecca, why haven't you done that? Because obviously you're calling in because you don't want to do that. But that's a very easy throw a little padlock and say it's for storage. Yeah, I think we would just get we get a lot of questions. Like if we try to keep the it's like, oh, what's in there? Especially if people are visiting for the first time, they want a tour of the house.

16:31That kind of stuff. And like it's not like I mean, the footprint of the house upstairs and downstairs are the same size. So it's like, it's we tried to be like, oh, that's storage. And they're like, you have a higher bedroom full of storage. If my sister told me that she had a locked room for storage, I would be all of that. Yeah. Are you guys like spooky Halloween people? Yes. Mm hmm. How do you know that? Because they have a coffin in their sex. That's true. Good point. Yeah. Do you guys like horror films? Um, I'm more into like spooky kind of thrillers more than horror. But like is being like into spooky stuff part of your identity? Like people know you as like the people who love Halloween and. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Okay. Keep going with what you're thinking. Jane, this is interesting. Not where I would like camouflage the room into being like, um, uh, Dracula's den. Yeah. I don't know. Something like that. That's interesting. I was going to go a different route, but I like that.

17:32I was going to recommend you get a little screen in there with a seat in front. And this is where your husband plays video games. Especially with those blue lights. What's closer than a little room where an adult man sits and plays video games and I know I have to say that that makes it like horny room less horny. Exactly. But who's going to go in there? You're like, I'm not saying you do that and go like, Hey, this is not, this is when mom and dad are there. Your dad goes, what's going on here? And he goes like, Oh, he plays a first person shooter in here all the time. His nickname is liquid assets. That's pretty good. You walk in with that blue light. I go, there's an adult man. I'm playing a shooter game. You've designed, you've designed the room with a black light on it. So your dad's going to like in there because I'm not a seamen on the couch for his video games. Yeah. Not a black light. Oh, that looks like fun. I think this is a good zone though. I think the idea of shutting it off, I think we're right. I think it's forbidden fruit. Then you're kind of like curious what the hell's going on in there. The other, I like Halloween room because you do already have a house.

18:34And you could put like a van Helsing, you know, I just get like a couple costumes, hang them in there. The only thing you really have to do is shut the coffin, which maybe looks a little sexy. I mean, part of it is it's a backstretcher. So it's, it's not going to be crazy. I know. You don't want to be a dad on that backstretcher. I agree. No, for 100% you don't. You don't want a family member in there going like, dude, I was in there. You're like, get out of there. So I'm getting vibrating my ass when I was upside down. Um, I would say you could get like a small poker table as well because liquid assets. Kind of there's a little bit of a casino theme and you could just say that's where you guys sometimes play poker. And you could cause play casino with your husband. That's fun. True. Also true. How as a somebody who used to work in casinos, what is how did that come? A movie. Oh, okay. I was thinking like the floor man gets mad at the dealer. I take over watch that happen. It's the least sexy thing I've ever seen.

19:35Never mind. Do you just go like, what do you mean take a break up on a shift? You're blowing. Actually. Um, so Rebecca, in this zone where we're kind of starting, what do you think? And is it more about your family or his? What do we know about the husband? I think we need a little bit more info. Okay. Um, I'm liking where we're going. I'm liking, um, I'm liking these ideas. Um, it's more about my family. My family comes through a lot. Good family, not so much, but a lot of his friends will come through and visit. Um, yeah, it's really, you know, my parents are a little bit conservative. Um, you know, my sister's not as much, not as conservative, but it's still kind of. Yeah. It's different. Taboo topics. You know, I mean, I got to, I got to say Rebecca, uh, the idea of having a sex dungeon is shocking. It's awesome. And look, of course, I have no, I look, I'm jealous. Yeah. The, I mean, apart from being jealous, if I went to like my sister's place, which I literally just

20:40didn't color out of my kids and we were in the basement and my brother at law, who was giving me the tour went like, this is where the kids who sleepovers, this is where your sister and I have a sex dungeon. I'd be like, what the fuck am I hearing? Yeah. This is where we hang her upside down. She loves it. Like, my well, it does really is an interesting point. Are you using the backstretcher in any way for sexual stuff for Becca? No, not yet. Surely, but I'm therapeutic. All right. Now we got to do it. Gareth, why are you? So you've got a backstretcher in there. So that's just you decide to stretch in that sex room for some reason. Shall we bring the picture up and zoom in a little so we can get some of what you're talking to the game phone? What is because then the only thing that we're using is the coffin. The coffin, the chair. Okay. This is an easy fix, actually. I mean, this is a hammer in stakes. Okay. Here's what you do. Yeah. It's my favorite theme. Okay. Rebecca, here's my pitch.

21:40100% you close the coffin. Yeah. And it's outside of it. It says like RIP back pain. You put the chair on the ground and you say, this is where when we have a masseuse come, they do it. We just made it fun. But you know, what's your husband's name? Yeah. Go jacks back has been killing them. So he comes on here every once in a while. I'll give him a massage or we have a thing. But we decided to try to make it more fun. But it's just kind of his room for stretching in the bag. I don't really ever go in there, but it's just kind of his stuff. Then get like a heating pad. Put it on that table. Get like a thing of tea. Think anything that I would move the fuser. Yeah. Roll that the rug up and it's essentially a massage room for somebody with back pain. And then the liquid assets is hard to explain. And the liquid assets is the only thing remaining. I think if we close the coffin and you get a just even basic massage table,

22:45you don't need to do anything else. But also I think that little chair can do it. I agree. If you have the chair, maybe laid out, lay it out. So it's a little cumbersome to move around. Nobody's going to investigate locked the fucking coffin. But liquid assets. Does that sign on plug? It does. Does it come off the wall easily? It's kind of heavy, but it's going to be a drag. But I mean, the biggest red flag. Jane, what are you thinking about this massage room? I do liquid is the problem. I think it's a good idea. I think I'm still like, like I'm like, if you guys are Halloween, people do you decorate your house for Halloween? Yeah, we do. Like I have had, you know, those like plastic skeletons, you could hang the plastic skeleton upside down. So he's getting his back stretched on the back stretcher. And then you have that, whatever it's Halloween, you just take him out of there and put him on your front porch. RIP back pain. It's like a.

23:45That's true. It's a spooky. But by the way, anything that you would have for Halloween, you just stored it in there and it's your Halloween themed massage room. What? How can we get maybe I'm too stuck on this spooky stuff? And I like it. By the way, I think it works. But here we just, one thing we need to work on Rebecca, Jane and Gareth is liquid assets. Will you show that image really fast again, Natalie? How do we make this more spooky Halloween? Why don't you just put like a beautiful tapestry, like a black lace thing then you can wear in your sex dungeon that you hang over it and that you turn the light off and then you don't see it or like, um, yeah, can you just cover about this? Can you get a kind of pumpkin-y cover that you just put over it? And then what lights on it sort of looks like a lit up pumpkin? You, you could, you could also just put like weird tin foil over it.

24:46But I think if you put a pumpkin in the lights on people are going to think, oh, they got a little lit up pumpkin. There's some skeletons. There's a coffin. There's a fucking. I mean, look, Rebecca, if you fucking put a pumpkin on this, and there nobody wants to go in there. You've, but by the way, if you put a pumpkin over liquid assets, you throw a skeleton on there and you go, RIP back pain. Some, some, some not a question in the world. Some spider webs, spider webs in the corner and they go, what's this? And you go, it's just our Halloween room. We love it. We're just going to, we keep this stuff here rather than store it. Now you like Halloween enough for this. It's almost, it's like what happens to a Halloween store in the other 11 months. Everyone's like, I don't know. It just kind of exists who gives a shit. But I'll tell you what I would do. Go ahead. What if like, what if like some of our family members are kids and then they want to like play in this room? Because it's not playing it. The coffin's locked. Okay. I think, I think we're careful, but I, I agree. You got to be like, yeah, it's cool. Isn't it kids? All right. But you don't like a Colorado 31 years old.

25:47Tell us a little bit about your husband, by the way. Before I was about to say to you, I was about to say, what are you going to do? But I'm so jealous. Yeah. I mean, we have liquid assets on the phone. We should be out of this. How did this, did you initiate this? Did he, how did this happen? Who made the sign? I'm currently doing construction on a place. I didn't build a sex room. I built like, it's a Midwest basement. We're already getting large screens. I got bumper pull. TV. And this is where we put the garage fridge. What? The least cool house in the world. You fucking sex done. This is my sex fridge. How did you, how did this happen? Rebecca, walk us through it. We always would like talk about like, wouldn't that be fun or funny or whatever. And then I think it was really the idea of having a room with a bunch of soft things.

26:47Like a nice fuzzy rug, velvet curtain, velvet furniture. Like I love it. Excuse to buy like a bunch of blanket. Which is a great way to get your wife to buy into this. Just think you can buy a bunch of like, I don't know if that's going to work on everybody. Honey, it'd be great. You get six extra blankets. I'll have a cratin' barrel room. There's a hammer. There's some stakes. And so, all right. So Rebecca, you didn't give us, you didn't give us the answer I was looking for. That was, why? Hopefully not, hopefully you said, tell people to buy a lot of blankets. Most people listening are like, this isn't reality. Yeah, that's like, I have enough fucking blankets and pillows in my house. I don't have a sex dungeon. So, he made the coffin. He made the coffin, okay. He made the coffin surprised me with it for Valentine's Day, like a few years ago. And then the liquid asset sign was my birthday gift from him as well.

27:53So he's really, he's pushing it. He's built the room together with like the decor. So let's be honest, you just wanted blankets. But I got a room with blankets. He's like, your name is liquid assets. This is a coffin. I thought you were going to say, she's like, oh, I love it. It's great. I just really want pillows and some soft blankets. And he's like, and this goes on your ankle. There you go. This is how I bought it. I got actually, I know that you mentioned it. He did. He bought me, um, pole dancing lessons for my birthday, like a couple of years ago. Okay, this guy is, he's been planning this. Yeah. I know. I know. I know. You're calling in with another problem here, lady. Call us back later with that problem. But for this one, what are you going to do? How do you keep the relatives from knowing you have a sex dungeon? We've given you some good pitches, but now you got to talk, Rebecca. All right. So what I really like about the idea is presented.

28:54I really like the idea of keeping the Halloween decor in there. Same. And it's like, okay, this is the Halloween storage room. And closing up the coffin. I think we could even like, maybe put it on its side. So it looks like it's being stored in here, rather than actively used in here, rolling up the carpet, kind of storing that away. Put it in it right on top of the coffin. Mm-hmm. And put a skeleton on top of it, honestly. Nobody's going to open it. And so you'll just then you'll build that room out a little bit and it'll be an easy switch. And then what are you going to do about liquid assets? You're going to try to find a little pumpkin. I am curious where I might find such such an object, but I do think that that is the best way to go. It does it is sort of pumpkin shaped. Let's think really fast. Yeah, Gareth, what's fun punny stuff we could do with liquid assets that's how can we let's say Jane, you think on this too?

29:57What if something like liquid assets, if it's not sexual, what is it? Because the ass is money. It's dripping. It's a liquid assets. I mean, it's not necessarily saying, if you're someone's kid, you're not thinking assets, means ass. No, you're not thinking sex room. If you just go into a library and it says liquid assets. See, the problem is then the room changes then. In my opinion, if you're going in the direction where you want to keep the sign up and you want to throw people off the trail instead of sent, I would say you want to make it like a casino theme. It's money. It's something like that. That's right. That's the way you keep the sign tag. I also do think you could just throw it. Oh, because you're finance. Yes. You were given this as your boss because you bring in the most money. Well, that doesn't work. You mean work is liquid assets, baby? That, that, okay.

30:58That's you liquidate the assets, mama. That opens us up. If we want just quickly, just to get it out there, that it's our home office. You put a desk there and a home office. Then it's sort of like, this is where you go into business mode. It's your home office. And it's liquid assets because at finance, that's what you do. So if you do zooms, you do them from home. You sit on your laptop in there. Allegedly, that's the cover. You don't really do it because then you lose your job. Jane, what do you think of this move? Then the coffins just in her office. That's a good point. The coffins are problem. No, it's, you know, here's the reality. Half the room is Halloween storage. But the reason you have liquid assets behind you is just for zooms at work. Okay. Because they gave you that as a nickname. Here's why I like that a little bit. It's like a bit of a junky double room. Nobody's going to have interest in going into your Halloween storage. What is it? It's storage.

31:58It's a work room. I got this goofy sign from work. There's no loungers. No, go sniffing for Loube. There's none. It's not a Loubee room. I don't know why you get there to look for Loube. There's no Loube. The coffin doesn't open. It's a closed coffin and there's no Loub in it. Periods. So Rebecca, take us out now. We've given you now two paths. I think Halloween works. I think skeleton works. I think a little bit of storage mixed with liquid assets being your nickname from work. If I'm the dad and I go there, I'm not thinking my 31-year-old daughter has a sex dungeon. I'm going like, they just haven't figured out what to do with this room. I'm probably going to pitch out in the room. I'm probably going to go down there and go, you know what you could do. I didn't do a sex dungeon. So Rebecca, take us out. What are you going to do on the next family visit? All right. What I'm going to do, I'm going to turn it into a Halloween storage

32:58slash office room. I really like the thought that when a room is awkward like that, it has multiple purposes of like a desk and office like plus storage. No one wants to go in there to junk room. So yeah, yeah. So I think we put a little desk in there. Right under the liquid asset sign, like that's where I go when I need some inspiration. And I, or to zoom calls with and then everything else is storage. I don't even think you need to put a desk there. I think you could sit in that chair with the laptop with the little computer on your lap. A little table there might make it a little harder to get in though. That might help block the doorway a little. Make it a little more. Yeah, but you take just roll up that bear skin that's screaming sex room other than that. This is just a weird little office. Rebecca, I got one more question. I need I need the truth now. Where was the last time you guys use the sex dungeon for sex?

34:05Probably probably a month and a half. Okay, thanks for the call. Good. This is just a storage room. Like what he's talking about. He's just a storage room. He's on a treadmill. Hang up the phone. Hang up the phone. It's a storage room. All right, it's fine as it. Hey, get in there this week. Come on. Please, you tie each other up to some fun. Otherwise, you just have a weird storage room with a sign in it. Leave them there for a few days and bucket of porridge. All right, goodbye. Goodbye. Okay. Goodbye. Hey. And we are brought to you by Squarespace. You know what? I don't even need a copy when it comes to Squarespace. Because let me tell you, first of all, they're hanging in there with the promo code. They're still doing the guilt sent me. And we love them for it. But Squarespace is a place where you can go and design your own website. Could not be more user-friendly. Looks so professional. All in one website platform. You're going to stand out and succeed online with Squarespace. My website is Squarespace. We've made tons of websites on the show with Squarespace.

35:07It's just different ways to scale up your business. You look professional. If you even want to be considered in the game, you have to have a Squarespace site. We've got SEO tools. They're going to make you go higher. Make sure your search engine is features are optimized. There's videos. There's contributions. There's merch. There's all these things that you're just going to be like, wow, I actually have one of those websites. So if you're in the game, you have a small business. You're trying to promote yourself. Or let's say you want to do a like a Wigs and Swords party or something like that. Like we did on the show. And you want to make it look real. Use Squarespace. So go to squarespace.com slash guilt sent me for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code guilt sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's it. Get involved. Hello. You've got a special friend, Jane Gohead. Hi. This is Jane Levy. I'm Jake Johnson's co-star and I'm the new NBC show Sunset PI. You've got Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds here. Can I get your name please?

36:09Good job. Yeah, my name's Kyle. Hi, Kyle. And where are you coming? Calling from India liquid assets. That's where I'm coming from. Keep going, Jane. And how old are you? 42 years young. And what's your astrological sign? Uh, Scorpio. Oh, Scorpio's are my favorite. Oh, why are they your favorite? Because I basically wish I was a Scorpio. Why? Scorpio mean. I'm a Capricorn, which are kind of like a little boring. Sorry, I'll tell the Capricorns listening. Um, but Scorpios are like, um, they have the quality of a phoenix rising from the ashes. No big deal. That's cool. And they're like dark and they're like, they're like vindictive. And like, usually they're like, they're supposed to be sexy. Kyle, does this describe you at all, sir? When he said 42 years young, I know I got a lot bothered.

37:12I thought you was ripping through my shorts. Hey, Kyle, hey, Jane, keep going. Keep running us through this. Actually, I, Taurus's are my, I really like Taurus's too. Okay. Anyways, um, Kyle, what's your problem? Well, um, I am a father to a four, soon to be five year old, uh, boy, uh, he's, uh, he's, uh, he's, uh, four or five years old in my opinion. Uh, he's going to be five in, uh, about three weeks or so. So we might as well just say five, but he's very insistent on four and a half. When is his birthday? But, um, October 19th. Wow. My son's birthday is October 21st. My daughter's October 17th. It's the 22nd out of a sect of me. Cool. Cool. Okay. Okay. Okay. So you're soon to be five year old. Yes. He goes to a preschool, uh, and his preschool is where my wife is a teacher.

38:15She's actually the teacher for his class. And, um, over the summer, I went through a career change. I decided to do something new. And because of that, I'm not always there in the morning time to help out to, uh, get the two of them ready. So as part of my wife and I's agreement, uh, with this, I have started making lunches for the both of them every single night, uh, before I go to bed, just to make sure that they're able to have a smoother morning getting out of the house. Um, and, uh, so I'm excited. Wedrums started the year I started leaving a note in my son's lunch every single day. And it's usually, uh, uh, joke, uh, drawing, you know, I love you, dad. That sort of thing in there. Loner time. It's been, uh, it's been a really, uh, good thing, uh, because he likes him and awful lot. But we've gotten to the point where his classmates have become fans of them. They've started to see my, uh, at the scene, my drawings, I spend every day, I read the jokes I, I spend every day, that sort of thing. So I mean, he's getting some serious social cred, uh, but I am running out of ideas fast.

39:20For what to draw, what to, to do joke-wise stuff like that. And, uh, I guess my question is, um, how do I get a, a little bit of a, a bank together of stuff that, uh, that I can do? So I'm not staying up all night trying to figure out, you know, which Pokemon and joke to draw. That's interesting. Really cute. That's very cute. Um, but this is an interesting one. Kyle, because you got to keep delivering the goods to the boy. Okay. Oh, here we go. Jane, walk us through for the people driving exactly what they're seeing. We have a drawing of a dinosaur. There's some wings, a very nice cartoon dinosaur and it says, why isn't Dragonite afraid of the dark? Oh, is this a Pokemon character that I don't know about? Yeah, yeah. It's, uh, that's been his new thing. So I've been doing a lot of those and, and jokes about that is, is there, he has a dragonite light? Is there a punchline to that joke?

40:21Yeah, because he has a dragonite light. Got it. Okay. Yeah. And then what's the next one? Why did Snorlax eat a clock? And this is all Pokemon, man. It's okay. I'm getting a sense of it. Okay. These are, uh, but I'm pretty drawn. Okay. Pokemon. All right, I'm getting it. So you do nice, you do pretty good drawings and you're doing, uh, jokes and then, they're very sweet. But there's an assortment that you have a, a pretty good array of options. They're drawing summer sweet, summer goofy. You're doing this every day? Four days a week when he goes to school. Yeah. All right. So the problem on this one and this is a tough one. How do you not run out of material? And you don't know what to draw going forward. Yeah. It's hard because I have no idea. My daughter's were never into Pokemon. So I've never seen any of those creatures in my life. But we have options where there are, you can't do, I'm not doing your own stuff too.

41:23I have an idea. Go ahead. Create a fictional world. Oh. And get away from Pokemon and Wiley Coyote. Get away from any IP. We could create a little thing. We're pitching a show. We're pitching a show and you're creating a show Bible. And so, uh, what do you think of that? We could build out something really quickly. Just the four of us could spitball create our own little version of a Star Wars with characters and then your lead character. What's the boy's name? What's your son's name? Robin. Robin is going through this adventure. So it's like Robin in Wonderland. And so it's who Robin meets along the way. What do you think of an idea like that, Kyle? I like it. It's kind of a yes and thing. And just, you know, this was yesterday's part of the story. Almost do it like a, like a, uh, a comic strip or something. Yes.

42:23It is a comic strip. It's each day and the reason the kids are going to be into it, they learned something new because right now you're doing straight up like dad jokes on it. And the kids aren't like, they're not like sitting around laughing. I'll tell you what they like about it is the drawings are pretty good. So every day when they get there, no, you're going to, you're going to, you're going to, you got to, you got to, you got to, you got to, you got to, you got to, for a four or five year old. But then Robin's friends could go like, what happened next? I like it. Every day is another piece of the thing. Jane, what are your thoughts here? I totally agree. And I was actually going to, before you said that I was going to say you should make your own characters because it just gives you so much more freedom. And also I was going to say jokes don't actually really matter to four year olds. Like, like the, great. I think that what we should do is make it a little bit adjacent to what your life is like, actually in Indiana, as that we said. Yeah. Like what kind of neighborhood you live in just make it a little bit more magical. But like what's the, what you do with your son most of the time? Like what, what kind of neighborhood do you live in?

43:24Do you live in a city? Do you live in a suburb? And then you like create these characters that are like sort of like your life because then you'll always get material because you can remember what you guys did yesterday. But then just add some like, I have a terrible pitch based off what you were saying, Jane. Go ahead. I know, Garrett is going to like it. It's bad, Garrett. Sounds like me. You tell the story of Dick Tracy photo. You still. You literally, Kyle, Kyle, you watch the worst movie ever made Dick Tracy. You didn't even watch all of it. Next level trash is crazy. Then tell the story one photo of a time of now Dick Tracy meets mumbles. Well, what if you did this? What if you actually instead of directly steal it? What if you like, what if you just took these archetypes and plot of Dick Tracy,

44:27but made it like a lunch theme? So it's almost like you've got your head investigator who's like, you know, Sam Witch or something like that. And it's his story going through lunchville trying to like bust up these little rings of other food themed problems. That's a key one quick thing. Jane, have you ever seen Dick Tracy? Yeah, I have. And it's been a while. I don't totally remember it, but the one thing I remember about it, first of all, our first call was about a sex dungeon. Then I said this group meals are sexy. And so I'm scared that you guys are going to think I'm like some horned up old lady. But like the only thing I remember from Dick Tracy is Madonna's perfect tits. She's stunning. They are insane. I remember being like like, obviously you don't remember Jake. I don't remember them. They're crazy. Yeah, okay. Garrett knows. Well, you are reminded of how incredible.

45:30I mean, Madonna was smoking. It's on that movie. That movie is really just could have been 20 pictures of Madonna just looking perfect. Okay, that's the last thing I say about sex. Well, one thing I'm going to add to it because I don't remember that pair of breasts from the old movies. But I know, but I'll tell you the breasts. I do remember and Garrett, we've talked about it, but I can't remember the movie. What was the sci-fi movie where the woman had three boobs at the bar? Total recall. That was a great thing. I've ever seen. Boy, there's that score. Oh my god. Coming out. Total recall. Don't tell me the three kids. Sexy, I'm a scorpion. My favorite game would be pick the fake one. I don't know what it would be. Middle. But Kyle, we're starting to set you down a path here. I'm never taking the total recall writing. There's so much of a show. I mean, it's the only time I've ever been jealous of another actor. He got to do that scene. Wow. That is so weird. It's crazy. As a kid, we saw his kids.

46:30That's the thing I've ever seen. That's so weird. That's so weird. You were like, what? I was like, there's what? Three, 10. How? That's your Tinder profile. Only looking for the three-titted. Yeah. Everybody else after that, it's like, you feel like you're missing something. Just got two, huh? Okay. You ever seen Jodel or you call? That's not what this is about. It isn't. I've never seen it. Good. Jan, I'll send you photos. No need. What were you going to say, Jan? I don't like the Dictrae's idea for the kid. You don't. Okay. What do you think we should do? We should come up with some cute, real characters. But do we want to do we? Do we interject one quick thing? Kyle, you're still here. Go ahead, buddy. Yeah. His mother and I are both very involved with local roller derby. So maybe we could add an aspect of that to it. She skates on one of the announcers. All right. Give us a quick taste of your announcer voice. I can't wait.

47:32Okay. And your next skater, number six, brood punch. Pretty good. So I mean, why don't we just do that? Why don't you just tell in the cartoon version of the roller skaters fruit punch, all the different people skating. They can be characters from Pokemon or something else. But the catches they all have roller skates on. The announcer voice is the the writing of it. So at first, the first couple of weeks, it's welcome to the roller ring. Meet the skaters. First up fruit punch. And you see it. And then rather than a joke, you just have fruit punch. Each skater says something. Then two of the skaters eventually on day like 14, skate together. Then two of them start to like each other. Then there's a little drama. Then there's a little fight. Then somebody gets jealous. And you're just telling the you're explaining the world of the roller ring. Okay.

48:33Okay. That's that's a fun concept. I could make them. They don't have to be human. I think me whatever you you. I think it could be whatever you want. I think that can be a part. This is what this is what my broader picture would be. My broader picture be that the show you're going to make is called lunch fill or lunch time or something like that. And you can come up with a bunch of characters. And fruit roller derby could be one of them. You could have like a juice box character, a talking sandwich, a crabby apple. All these things. And like you do now, you can just do one drawing of a character with a talk bubble. And you just start to kind of world build a little bit. And then you can create like governor's election in lunch fill or shit like that. And you can kind like the comic strip idea to me feels right where you just sort of see little slices of these characters. But you don't need to go overboard.

49:33And I think James, right. It doesn't need to be like a joke necessarily. That might not hit could just be a caption. You know, or something like that. You don't really think Kyle. I think this is cute. I think this is cute but boring. Okay. You're not caught. How do we spice it up then? We pick a fucking movie. A character's name licked with assets. Good. We pick something we don't know a lot about. And we try to retell that story. I mean, of course you can do the kids. You could do ice. You just think fighting bite some IP and just because I would say let's see what we can. Who gives it shit. But pick something and go total recall. Total recall is exactly right. Kyle, have you seen total recall? Of course. I actually just watched it for the first time two weeks ago. Okay. So then give us in 30 seconds, your pitch. What is total recall about?

50:36You have Arnold Schwarzenegger's character. Quaid, he's trying to have a memory implanted after some bad dreams that he had and he goes crazy. All hell breaks loose on Mars. He's got one key plot point though. Three titties. Now Jane. Three dead Kyle. Jane, I know we all know you have not seen total recall. Tell us what happens with Quaid on Quaid. Crazy in Mars. Go. Three, two, one. Go Jane. No, I have not. Wait. Go, Jane. What does Quaid do? Does Quaid have a partner? Does Quaid do all this alone? Go. Oh my god. I don't, I won't, I didn't even. Chad. I can. Just say the three-titter woman you'll be fine. There's three-tittered woman and Arnold Schwarzenegger sees the three-tittered woman and he goes, uh, whoa. Oh my god. Okay. So now Kyle, you can't do the three-tittered woman, but you can have a woman that looks really weird at her chest area. So she's just got like a, it doesn't have to look like a woman,

51:36but the Quaid character does say, oh, Woga, Gareth does Quaid have a mate? Quaid does indeed have a mate. It's the woman with the three crab apples. The woman with three apples. Oh, crabby apples. She's, her stomach is made of apples. Yeah. Yeah. She's got three apples. And three are the most pronounced. I like the idea a lot that you bite the story of total recall, but you've kind of re-themed for kids based around lunch, and you just kind of steal the story. You just go for it. Okay. Yeah. And all we need is 15 things and then call back. Yeah, I agree. We can pitch a different movie. Still, you'll do Rocky next. But let's not even do the lunch thing. It's too cute. I don't want Sammich, man. So what do you want? You want like the- Hold on a fucking recall, bro. You want him to, literally. I imagine like your five-year-old coming home from school and explaining every day that like the other kid, like who reads the stories explaining to their mom

52:38total recall three parts of it. But here's all it'll be. It'll be. The teacher peeing it together. No, here's all it'll be. It'll be Quaid. So there's a guy who's really strong in muscular. He's walking through and then he's on Mars at one and he goes like, what was the word you said, Jane? Oh, God. He goes like this. Uh, woo-ga. That's a whole one. Then the next one is from Mars. He looks and he sees Earth and he goes like, Mama Mia. He picks his nose to pull a big red thing out of it. For five-year-olds, one photo of a time. Then you've got him at a bar. Quaid looks over. There's what looks to be a lady type Martian. Maybe she has three bumps in the middle of her stomach. Maybe. Maybe she got three titty. So Kyle, what do you think of this idea? Taking a movie, running wild with it

53:39and sending us all the drawings. Or do you want to do roller skating? Or do you want to do a sandwich theme? It's on you now, Kyle. What the fuck are you going to do? You sexy, 42-year-old Scorpio from Indiana. Your wife is a fucking kindergarten teacher, which is pretty hot. You just got a new job. Our previous color at a sex dungeon. It got Jake all worked up. I'm all turned around, Kyle. So, tell us. Kyle could just do every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. That's true. That's exactly right. That's true. You could just do a montage of our Anne when he got into politics. That's fucking a. Anne can real life be a pet donkey. It does. Oh, that's cool. You could also do him as a young bodybuilder. Yeah, you can do the bodybuilding style. That's funny. The idea of leaning in Arnold. We've got Kyle. Also, you fucking do twins with little Danny DeVito. Kyle, the pitch is this.

54:40You're now going to be doing the live story of Arnold Schwarzenegger with a little bit of fun and flair. Peace by peace. And you're going to start. He's a little kid in Austria who becomes the world's greatest bodybuilder. Because there's a little boy. He's fucking strong as an axe. And he eats good lunch. He eats healthy. He's all about health until he gets to America. And then he starts realizing steroids. We're not going to get into the steroids. Error. Okay. And then his beach, fucking ripping through weights. And he talks about. Garrett, he talks about lifting weights like it's coming. He's, we all remember that is true. I mean, a puppy. I wasn't very afraid. It's a train for this. I don't know if it is, but it's up to Kyle. And you're going to, then you're going to do the Mr. Olympia days into his movies, Conan, all that stuff. And you're just going to sort of tell the very strange story. To Arnold Schwarzenegger for. Hold on. Hold on. Now, Kyle, this is a question for you. Do we get into all the madness with the maid and all that or no? I'll tell you. I'll answer for. Leroy worst advice of all time, like for his five-year-old son.

55:42All you would have to do, Jane, for that is he's in the house. And then there's like a cleaning lady and he goes, Oh, the kid will go, what's that? You go, nothing. It's just a drawing. Then find out it to you. She then she. So far, so. A little cleaning lady has somebody, and the kid looks just like Arnold. He's really strong. And then also goes, Oh, whoops. Oh, whoops. Uh-oh. Oh, whoops. And goes, what do your husband look like? And this little guy shows up and he goes like, I'm the dad. And you're bad. And if you were at school and you just saw in a kid's lunch box, a thing where he's like, sorry, what's going on there? The character in your lunch box getting divorced because he got the maid pregnant. No, Garrett. Garrett, you're talking about an essay. I'm not. I'm talking about an image. So they go like this. Oh, where? What's going on? I don't know. I'm a lady in a blue dress. I can. And quade. I don't know. Quade.

56:42Quade in the maid. Oh my god. Quade in the maid. But also, then you got to do, I really think you got to get into where he gets into politics. This kid's gonna be 30. But, Kyle, but, but here's all we need. Here's what Kyle called about. And Kyle, tell me if I'm wrong. You sexy 42 year old. You were running out of ideas for photos, my king, with just a little line, a little line of dialogue. A woga. Yeah. He can say that with different question marks. It's a catchphrase. Yeah, it's a catchphrase. A rug is big. You and you go, what do I need? Throw on twins. It's Schwarzenegger, little Danny DeVito. They're literal twins, I think. I don't know. I don't think I've ever watched an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie in full. I also believe he did predator, maybe. Of course he did. Yeah, man. I know. I gotta be honest, I'm not a fan. Red heat. I don't think I've ever seen a movie of his. Then he did the one with a...

57:43Ever seen Terminator? I don't think I've ever seen it in full. Crazy. Even as a kid, I've never been into sci-fi actions. Well, either way, Kyle, that's the pitch. What do you think? Okay. I like it. I think maybe we take a little bit of a pivot on it. And instead of we can take the story, but not make it him and make it a character that is food related. Great. So it could be a juice box. And it is a juice box. This is fun. Yeah. I love the juice box. Because he's a literal juice box. Yeah, he's a juice. Yeah, he gets big and strong. Is that why Kyle's that where you were going from it? Well, I was just thinking, you know, like, the straws, the needle. Stuff like that. Yeah. But yeah, I can make that straw like a fucking needle going with the steroids. Garrett knows what I'm talking about. Absolutely. After juice box. That's just... The juice box is based on all, but it's still the ball's direct.

58:45Terrible temper. He gets all over the place. All right, so what do you think, Kyle? You're going to create a story about a juice box named Arnold? Yeah. Yeah. So, Kyle, I think we have given you a thing here where you could make 2,000 of these. But the question is, do you? Yes. Absolutely. I love it. This is so... Will you please send us photos of Arnold the juice box from the rural country goes to when he moves to a mayor, like the story of Arnold through this juice box? I not only think your son wants to see it, I think our audience wants to see it. And the season to see us do eventually get? The Arnold juice box? I'll go to court against Arnold's words. I want that one. I'll represent myself. And you tell me to change the name slightly. Yeah, you're fine. Okay, so you're going to do this, Kyle? Yeah, absolutely.

59:46You're going to include us. I will just have to picture see it. Okay. Yeah. All right. Okay, and then before we go, Jane, what are your thoughts on this? The real... How did the three of us do as problem solvers? Do you think this is going to work? Is somebody who listens to the show? What are your thoughts as now a player manager? You now you're in it, but you've also watched it. What are you thinking? Of both calls or just the last call? Let's say both. Well, I heard this one second. I think we did good. I don't know. I think... Did we all clam up at the beginning? Because sex was mentioned and we were all like, gulp. Or that is... I don't know. Hey, he beat... We need a sex engine through us all. I don't know. I enjoyed it. I think... Yeah, I don't know. What do you think? What grade would you give me a C plus? Do you want me to grade you? Yeah. Okay, Kyle, what grade would you give Jane? As a guest?

1:00:46Totally honestly. You can get really... Yeah. Now here's why I wanted to be honest. Jane, I told my brother this story. I remember the other day in the car when I asked you to close your eyes and I sang at you. And I said you were a bad singer? I said, Jane, the... Garrett, the car had beautiful acoustics. And my voice was loose. I know. I'm not a good singer, but I think I'm a five and a half out of ten. Now are you going to Acapela? There's something on the radio. Acapela. Acapela. So I go, Jane, real quick. Close your eyes. Give me out of ten. Don't worry about my feelings. Give me an honest one. I bust out something that's fine. Nice. Without hesitation, Jane goes, no joke, one out of ten. I do it again. I go, be honest. She goes, one out of ten. Stuff. Jakey, can't be good at everything. I can't sing. Is that what it was like? One out of ten. Okay. So Kyle,

1:01:46how would you out of ten? Judge, our friend, my co-star from SunsetPI, which is a very fun job. I think it's going to be a great show. Jane's excellent on it. But how would you rate her on this call out of ten? Be honest. Be honest. You sexy Scorpio. Oh, okay. That just bought her next to a half point. No, no, no, no, no, I'm getting it. Why you to be honest? Yes. You know, it's called like a seven point four. Okay. No, give Gareth a grade. I agree. She's also the architect of Aweuga. Let's not forget that. Okay. No, Kyle. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think it's highly fair. We're not taking it. Hold on. Aweuga is a big point. Kyle, does that change? Yeah, I think that's going to move us up to like an eight point one. I agree, actually. Now, how about Gareth? For honesty. None of us are sensitive. I mean, we are. I think that's the fun of it. I'm going to, I'm going to have to defer here to where I think my wife would want me to be.

1:02:50And that is a perfect 10 because when I first met her, she actually had an autographed poster of Gareth up in her living room at her apartment. Very biased, but I will accept it, Kyle. Then you are 42 years, yeah, for the record. And now Kyle. Aweuga. Give me what you got for me and I can take it. So we have an eight point one from Jane at 10 for the Garf. By the way, started at a seven point five. I agree, but I think the eight point he did forget about a, I don't think that was kissing, but I think we also, are you do have her feelings that I graded your voice at a one? Yes, I'll answer for Jake. Go ahead, Kyle. Wow. He's hurt. He believes. Look at him. Look at the loss. Five. Gareth 4.5. Hey, Kyle, will you close your eyes? Zero. Fast. Oh, yeah. And I want you to grade this as honestly as you can. Kyle, be honest. My name is Michael.

1:03:52How would you grade? Ah, I'm sampling. What's called a three? Gareth sing the same line. Three, two, one. My name is Michael. He's so good. So good. Fuck. Shit. That was good. Kyle. He's the songbird. He's a fucking songbird. Fucking hell. I want to know what you're doing. No, I'm not doing. Three. Absolutely not. There's no saying no on this. Three. I'm not doing. Two. One. My name is my. Here. Kyle, how was Jane? Jane. I'll put her in a, I'll put her in a two, you know. That's right. That's one point. She gave you. Okay. But wait, what did Jake get on the call? You got a nine. He's just being nice. Yeah. I was all over the place. Kyle, will you please follow up with us with these drawings?

1:04:52I think we would love to see him. You got beautiful drawings. I think it'd be really fun. Whenever you do them, just send them in. We'll keep posting them. But they're really lovely. Yep. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. All right, man, all the best to you. And before we go, before you go, Jane, will you take us out and song and say, just please, Jane, just, just, Jane, you, she said to me, she goes, sometimes you put the colors on this spot and I feel bad for him. And I said, that's part of the fun. So remember that moment? I do. So now, Jane, will you say, you have been listening to problem solvers and your problem has been solved. And then once this is it, Kyle, we can all hang up because that'll take us out of this episode. But Jane, try to be all right. Jane, Jane, Jane. Great start, Jane. Wake it as pretty as you can. This isn't to be silly. This is really, can you give me the line again? This is, he doesn't remember. He's been listening to problem solvers. You've been listening to problem solvers.

1:05:53And your problem has been solved. But I want as pretty as you can. Hold on. Stop, stop. We need silence before. Three, two, what's your lighter say? Some weed company. Why do you have that? Just for years. I wish. Three, two, one. You. Kyle, I've been listening to problem solvers. Your problem has been solved. Oh, that's Jesse. As our jazz man, where are you at? Is we, Jesse? Are you there? I'm not, Jesse. See, where are you at? Really? Sunshine. Jane. Clearly. You know, we need even the booth for this one, Jay.

1:06:53Terrible. One more time, Jane. No, I'm not doing it again. Okay, okay, okay. That was very good. Kyle, your thoughts on her singing, and then we'll get out of this crazy call. I thought it was, was wonderful. Thank you. Thank you. Really quickly. Let's just hear the songbird sing it one so we can hear how it's meant to be. Beautiful man with the mustache. Garith and three, two, one. You have been listening to problem solvers. Your problem has been solved. Hey, hey, Kyle. Let's hear you sing it, songbird. In three, two, one. You've been listening to problem solvers. Your problem has been solved. Aluga. All right, now I'm going to take you guys out with a 10 out of 10. Who'd you hire? Jane likes to dance to great music.

1:07:55We just started with Garith. You're about to see her dance like crazy, everybody. Who's singing? Me. You've been listening to problems. Take it easy, Kyle. See you, Kyle. See you. Bye. Hey, everybody. We just want to remind you if you want to watch new episodes of We're Here to Help, it drops a day early on Hulu. So you can watch the new episode a day early and we're also dropping a bunch of older episodes from season one and season two. So get involved. Okay. We're here to help us hosted by Jake Johnson and Garrett Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful pod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help,

1:08:56you can go to our patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're here to help us produce by rabbit grim productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing mix and master by Chris Follard. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh, the cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Stralecki, and if you'd like to see Garrett, you stand up on the road, go to garrathrenalds.com. Remember all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a headgum podcast.