#2557 - Yakov Smirnoff

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2:08Plus, get free shipping. Just go to thefarmer'sdog.com slash rogan. This offers for new customers only. The Joe Rogan Experience. Join my day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day. Let's go, Yacaw. Let's happen, baby. How are you? I'm good to see you. Nice to see you. I know Jamie's snuckin' up on us. Bam, just turn on. Bam. That way you don't have a chance to freak out. Thank you. What's in the bag? Oh, they got there. So there are a couple of things. Oh, a couple of things. One, yeah. One is, it's a mural piece of the mural that I painted that the ground's here. And I thought it would be interesting for you to have. You painted a mural at ground zero? Yeah. Oh, well. So that was something. And I actually sent them a poll harvied the rest of the story about that.

3:11And I sent them a video if they wanted to. Yeah, I don't know if we can play that unfortunately. Yeah. I think it's got like a copyright to it. Actually, I was told. We were told. Jamie, isn't that what they said? Yeah. Right. And. So there's the mural. There's a photo of the mural. Right, right. And it was, I was in touch with Paul Harvey Jr., asking if that would be okay. And they said it's fine. And they'll send it. Yeah, but I don't think they own it, you know what I'm saying? They own his voice. Right. But it's probably if it's on Paul Harvey's television show, right? No, no, no. A radio show. A radio. Right. If it's on Paul Harvey's radio show, it's probably copyrighted. Did we have a problem when we played the Taylor Sheridan one? Remember, we played that whole thing. It's just an issue. It's an issue. It's an issue. That's what it is. So anyway, you had a mural. Yeah. That's that's. There was a couple of other little burf in there. You got to talk into the microphone. Sorry.

4:11That's all right. Yeah. You wear headphones if you want. I want you to hear yourself. Yes. We don't have to. This is real. This is real. What do you mean? No, like I watch you and I'm in such an awe of what you were able to, your career, your trajectory, how you were able to sustain that longevity and then transition to this amazing voice. It's just, it's been an honor to know you and be here. So I'm a little nervous. Well, don't be nervous. Because listen, it's all just dumb luck. There's a giant percentage of it that's dumb luck. That's a fact. I mean, I'm very persistent. That helps. But this thing, the podcast is a lot of it is luck. You know what people like to talk about, like having a vision board. I had a vision board. I imagined. And people say that to me all the time. Like, I'm sure you did that with this show. I'm like, I didn't do anything of the sort.

5:11I just kept doing it and it got big. But it's just people talking simple. Just like you and I talk in the green room. Yes. We're talking here. It's no big deal. It's just a bunch of people get to listen. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's nothing that spectacular. The spectacular thing is my guests. That's the fortunate thing. I'm the fortunate one. Because I get to talk to so many cool people. Look at you and your fucking American flag on your phone cover. Look at that. Yeah. Don't get fooled by the accent, ladies and gentlemen. You know, we were talking about your story in the green room. And I was like, we have to do a podcast. Because your story is so crazy how when the wall fell, so did your career. Yes. Like you had this massive career. I remember you from the tonight show. Yes. I remember you all the time. You know, in Russia. You always had the jokes about Russia. Yes. And it was great because like you were a Russian comedian doing stand up in the United States. Yes. And then once the Soviet Union fell.

6:12Yes. The letterman, David Letterman had a top 10 list of things that will now change. Did the Soviet Union is no longer there. And I made number one on the list. The Yakhav Smyrnov will be out to work. And I thought it was humorous because I was living in Pacific Palisades next to Tom Hanks and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean, I thought American Dream will never end. And all of a sudden, it six months later, none of my contracts in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Reno, Tahoe, none of them were renewed. And I could not find work literally. And I tried back to clubs and they wouldn't have me either. What? Yeah. It was the comparison. There was a van meter that was impersonator of John F. Kennedy. He was an impersonator.

7:13It was very popular at that time. And then after the assassination, his career went nowhere right away. And so somewhat in some ways, it was similar to that that I was associated with the Soviet Union. And my humor was associated with that. And it was helping, I was helping President Reagan write jokes where he speeches for when he would go to Moscow. You have a picture somewhere, Jamie, of, I mean, it was amazing. All of a sudden, I was like a joke supplier for the White House. And it was, my career was just growing higher and higher. And all of a sudden, it was gone. And I was, I mean, you still had great jokes.

8:14Yeah. And I'm sure people still wanted to see you. That's what didn't make any sense. It wasn't, I guess I wasn't relevant because they associated me so much with that. And so I started it after not having work and not be able to pay mortgage. I started looking for a place where they did not know the Soviet Union collapsed. And I ended up in Branson, Missouri. I joke about this in my show, but it was a blessing in disguise because I was all of a sudden my, my humor was family friendly. And this town is very much like that. And they embraced me. And I, I mean, it wasn't right away, but it grew and grew and grew. Wow. And what is Branson like? Because I would always hear about it. Like it was always, like we would hear about it in L.A. that it was this like freaky Bible town.

9:17That it's like the creationist museums and stuff like that. Like here's a reconstruction of the arc. Like that's the kind of stuff that you would hear. I've, obviously, I never went. So I don't know. Yeah. I didn't want to go to Branson. Okay. I was living in L.A. I didn't, I mean, I, did you move to Missouri? Eventually I had to. Yeah, because I had to sell my house. I mean, the whole thing. Yeah. So what happened is I didn't have, I didn't know where to go. I mean, literally, it was scary. I have two little kids at that time and I can't find work. So my agent calls me and he said, Will Nelson is doing this, uh, Farm 8 concert. And, um, would you like to co-host with him? And I didn't have it, you know, I said, sure, but I don't think farmers would know who I am. And I got there 50,000 people. I did my SAT and they gave me a standing ovation. And I went and went like, wow, this is, I didn't expect that.

10:20So I go to say goodbye and say thank you to Willie. And I opened the door and the smoke comes out. And I was proud to say that I, you know, I didn't do drugs. But after I opened that door, I couldn't say that anymore. So I, through this, through the smoke, he goes, Yuck, you should go to Branson. They'll love you there. And I was like, okay, I heard about it, but I was not sure. So I go to Branson just to check it out. And it's a march of two, it's 1993. And I've been struggling now for two years after the Soviet Union collapse. And I go in and I walk into one of the shows and it was Sojita Buchi show. It was a Japanese fiddle player that was just playing country music.

11:23I didn't know about him. And I walk in and it's a matinee and there are 2000 people in that room. Whoa. And I'm going, what is going on? Right? This is crazy. I was in Brazil, I didn't see. Right. So then I go, Andy Williams show and it's the same thing, 2000 people. I'm going to go to the pool and I'm going, well, if they can do this, I can do it as well. And so I in May, I rented a small theater and I just set my shop there, put my name on the wall. And I got, for shows, 17 people came in. I'm going, oh boy, I don't have a place to go, but this is not going to work. But then I started doing, I was pretty creative. I started, I said, I'm going to serve breakfast in the showroom. I'll call it yak in a box.

12:25And I'm just going to make my mother recipe of breakfast and people will pass it eat. And hopefully more people will come. So we do two shows a day in the morning and in the evening, dinner and breakfast. And little by little, it grew, it grew, it grew. And then a year later, my average was like 400 people show. And then the buses, that's the big business there, is the people come by bus in those days, a lot of them. And they would just discovered me. And I started to become more and more popular. And then I bought two thousand-seat theater. And now I entertain over six million people there. And it became, yeah, this is kind of, it's, that's your theater.

13:26Yeah, look at you. Yeah. So it's been a very successful journey overall. I'm, you know, I'm kind of the only celebrity or national known person there now. Wow. And so how often do you do shows there? Now I got down to like 30 shows a year towards fall. But I used to do 400 a year. And I used to just make more money and people were coming. And I, it worked out for me. Well, good for you for it. Yeah. I'm sure that much has been very nerve-racking though. Especially with young children. A big time. And you're, you know, from another country, you come to America, you're killing it. You think, oh my God, I'm the American dream. This is incredible. And then it's nightmare. Oh, the sudden. And you don't know what to do. What's the problem with the world before social media?

14:28Right? Because before social media, like you couldn't just put some clips out there and show that you're still performing and still going places. Yeah. Yeah. Because back then there was like a narrative. And if that narrative got out, you were done. You know, so the narrative was so intense. So yeah, it was canceled. And I didn't have anything to do with it. It's not like I had a scandal or something. It just, I was helping Reagan to chisel the wall down. But there was a writing in the wall that I didn't see. It's just get a day job, you know, and I didn't see it. Right? So that's how it happened. It's amazing that you found Branson. And what would happen if you didn't? That's what's really crazy. Like, what do you think you would have been able to figure out a way to tour? And was it that clubs wouldn't book you or people wouldn't come? Both. Because people were not buying tickets. The clubs didn't book me. And the whole effect is just, you know, so it was just the fall of the Soviet Union

15:31that people got in their mind, oh, Yakhav is done. Yeah. It was that quick. And that's what's fucked up about it. It's because like, yeah, very funny jokes. I did. Like you're a good comic. It's like the idea that you can't be a great comic and talk about other stuff is so stupid. But what happened? It was an evolution for me. I think that I look back and I'm going, thank you for this, because it was kind of a one note tune. And then it made me forced me to go, okay, that topic is not necessarily the right thing. Right now, it's not nobody cares because Soviet Union not there and nobody scared of it. Because I was kind of like a, you know, it was a headache from, you know, or a pain in the butt, a Soviet Union and I'm preparation age.

16:32And they used me and then after swelling and itching went away, you don't need it anymore. Right. So that's how it happened. So I went into and that also coincided with my divorce and I was struggling trying to figure out what direction do I go and I realized that this, I was helping the cold war to end in some ways by being involved with Reagan and helping with that. And when that happened, I figured, you know, my divorce is happening. I know laughter helped the world become a better place. Why is there laughter in the beginning of the relationship with men and women? And then when there's divorce, the only people laughing are attorneys.

17:32And I put that question to my audience. So it became kind of like my laboratory of laughter. I just start asking people, I said, how many of you remember laughter being part of that honeymoon stage of your relationship and all of that? And I go, how many of you would go on the second date if you didn't have laughter in the first date? And no one applauded. So I became like, this is kind of a universal thing that I was, my dad was an engineer and inventor. So my brain is kind of constantly, I'm looking for reverse engineering. Why is it that laughter goes away in their relationship? So as comedians, we gauge our relationship with the audience with laughter every time. Is the relationship fall apart because you had a move to Missouri? Well, it just challenges. Yeah, it added to this. But I think I was looking for the root of this more like what is that that I am missing that I didn't do because, you know, I was...

18:42You had a gimmick. I had a gimmick. But that was with my audience. What was happening with my wife? Why was that falling apart? So I started seeing the parallel and the kids were little at that time and I was trying to explain to them what was going on. And I can show you what I did. I brought this with me. I showed this to... I know, show and tell. I brought it for my... I started... I took magnets and I was showing my kids. I said, look, my middle daddy and we attracted one another and we had you and we had love and laughter and what was happening. And then something happened and I don't know if you can show Jamie on this. These people listening as well. Okay, okay. The magnets... The magnets, they attract.

19:43But then when things don't go well, they repel. So I was going, what is it that attracting us and what is it that's repelling us? And then after doing this and I went to University of Pennsylvania, got my Master's degree in psychology, got my doctor degree at Pepperdine. I mean, I was digging in. You did all this while you were doing brand-sense? How were you doing that? I would travel. I would just go do... We can't just take my schedule. I make it the way I wanted and whatever I had to do, I would just travel to Pennsylvania and do that. And you were taking in-person classes? Yeah, yeah. But how are you doing on the weekends? You were on the weekends. On the weekends. They were classes, yes. Wow. So you would work all week and then fly in the weekends. Why are you doing that?

20:43Well, it's interesting. I was searching for a purpose. I think that was... I noticed something that was universal. And I wanted to prove that scientifically to myself and to... And I did because it was important to me. And what I figured out, and as a comedian, you'll understand that every time we tell a joke, where the setup is where meeting their needs. They're interested in that topic. You and I talked in the green room, like you need more topics, for example, for your one hour to add. And so the topics that you're looking for are... You're meeting the needs of people. They're not curious. And then your humor is the punchline, and that creates laughter. If you don't meet their needs, if they're not interested, then your humor doesn't matter much.

21:49So in a relationship, the same thing happens. So if I put this... And I know people are listening, but they can maybe picture that. If you put needs in the middle, then you... You're talking about magnets. You got to remember a lot of these people are not watching. Or listening, okay. So I'm going to abandon that. Yeah, it's better. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. There's no excuse for a bad website anymore. Squarespace makes sure of that. Squarespace's AI website builder gets you something that looks genuinely professional in just a few clicks. No design skills required. You can lock down your domain, build something that actually looks like you, and keep it all protected in one place. Head to squarespace.com slash rogan for a free trial. And when you are ready to launch, use the offer code rogan to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. So I get what you're saying. Yeah. The needs is the flexible thing in our humor stays the same.

22:56But the needs or the setup is different. So if every business is successful when they figure out what is the need of people, like Apple, for example, they say, we develop product that you don't know you need, but then you can't live without it. That's their model. So the same thing, a restaurant, if they figured out what need is that community has, they're successful. You figure out what is the need that people have and they're listening to you and they love it. Is it a need? Like we're talking the word need is a weird one because for me, need is like food and shelter and community. That's the real needs. Everything else is desires. Well, in the interest in the hierarchy of needs was Moslow. They just go higher and higher. So when you find, he called them needs. I couldn't find a better.

24:01No, that makes more sense now. Yeah, I get it. I feel like the most important thing about comedy is you have to be actually interested in what you're talking about. Obviously, it has to be funny. That's the most important thing. But other than that, the second most important thing or the thing that really resonates with people is when someone's on stage and they're talking about something that means something to them. I get invested. Exactly. I'm invested in people that are fascinated with stuff. I'm invested with people that have hobbies that they love. I have no interest in it at all. I want to hear them talk about it. Exactly. I totally, that's, you found that whatever you want to call it, desire need, whatever you want to call it. But whoever zooms in on that and understands that they're successful in what they do. So in marriage, my focus switched from the Cold War between countries to Cold War between couples.

25:02And understanding that men and women are different is very important because they have different needs. And so part of my dissertation was to give that understanding. So then the person is not like searching. It doesn't know what he's looking for. I'm married and I'm happily married now. And my main goal is to figure out what does my wife need. And if I can anticipate it, then we have love and laughter and it's living there. But if I don't or if she doesn't, then we start arguing and that happens in every family. So I'm easier. So there's a book by Dr. Willard Hartley called, He's Needs Her Needs. And what he did, he was dealing with a lot of couples that was getting the worst.

26:04And he was trying to help them in marriage counseling. And he asked, he identified like 10 emotional needs. And he asked these people to prioritize men and women. And it was interesting that he said I was shocked that five top needs for men were totally different from five top needs for women. So if we don't know that, so the needs for women were affection, conversation, openness, and honesty, family commitment, and financial support. Not for every woman, but that's was majority. And then for men, it was sexual fulfillment. It was admiration. Sexual fulfillment again. It was admiration, attractive spouse, recreational companion, and domestic support.

27:05It makes men found scene really base. They are. Basin stupid. We are. That's sexual attraction. It's number Uno. Yeah. And then it's in there. How's it in there twice? No, I just, I was fucked it up. Yeah, I was joking around. Yeah, that's funny. Like admiration is a funny one. That's fun. That's a fun. That's huge. That's a life. I asked you need admiration from your wife. That's hilarious. Well, but it's not because if you think, if you think that I ask the audience, so here is what I do in my show. Uh-huh. And it's, they're laughing, but they're also learning something. I say, how many of you, gentlemen here, at least once in a while, would like to hear your wife said, you're such a good man. Thanks for doing things for us. A plot. And few people applaud. And I go, well, not every man is applauding because they're scared. And they laugh. And then I go, so let me ask you the same question from an opposite point of view.

28:06Any of you, gentlemen, disagree with that. Silence. Then I go, you see, ladies, you used to do it. You don't do it now, but you used to do it in the beginning. That's what that attraction was. It was the man needed that. And women don't. They don't want to be acknowledged or admired for what they do. They want to be loved for who they are. Kind, beautiful, smart, selfless. And I ask women, is that true? And they applaud. So it's subconscious. But I know for me, that's a very important thing that if I'm doing something, all I need is like, thank you. And sometimes it's overlooked. And that doesn't feel right. Doesn't interesting. It definitely resonates that men don't necessarily care if a woman does a thing. Like if she's really good at a thing. Like men, I mean, I mean, this is obviously a great generalization.

29:09Because there are probably some men that one of the things that they love is the talent that a woman possesses. Of course. Absolutely. But for the most part, what men want is someone to be nice. Yeah. Nice to be pretty. Yeah. Like my friends have joked around about this before my single friends about like, I don't give a fuck of a girl works at McDonald's. Is she nice? Is she pretty? Is she nice? You know, and is she not like completely annoying to talk to? Is she fun to talk to? Well, like you don't care what her job is. Well, if she's cool and she's fun, but a woman meeting a cool, good looking guy that's nice that works at McDonald's, like you fucking loser. You know, unfortunately, no shame to the people working at McDonald's. I'd worked fast food when I was younger too. I did a, I worked at a couple, the first place I worked that was a burger place called Newport Creamery. I worked at a place called Papa Genos. It was Italian fast food place. Nothing wrong with working at McDonald's. Point is, women don't respect it. For whatever reason. Especially the women that want to have a family and settle down and all that jazz, they look at a guy working at McDonald's.

30:12You don't have any ambition. And that's the thing that women want from men that men don't seem to really care that much from women. Women want a guy that has ambition and men do not care generally. Although I got to say, Phil Hartman, when he obviously did not have a good marriage, because his wife killed him and then killed herself, obviously did not have a good marriage. All right, let's not. When he had almost got divorced a few times, and I remember one time he and I were having a conversation about it. He said, he goes, he goes, if I fucking get divorced, he goes my next wife. She has to like something. He goes, I don't give a fuck it is. I don't care if it's a rock climbing. He has to be into something. So that was his thing. It was like that he was really into things. Like he got his pilot's license. Like the place that I actually bought in California, I found out about that part of California because of him, because he took me up on a plane. And he was explaining to me, like there's other counties that you could live in,

31:14and these counties, like they have land that's like, yeah, it's a drive, but it's like more peaceful and relaxed. You don't have to be like in the heart of everything. So he was into being a pilot. He played music. He always had a bunch of different interests that he was pursuing on top of being an actor and being a comedic actor. And so he was really frustrated. One of the things he was frustrated is that his wife didn't have any ambition. She didn't have any interests. Well, but she also probably didn't admire him for what he is a common student as war. I think she wanted to be famous as well. I mean, she probably shouldn't talk about this too much, but I think there was probably some resentment in his success. I think she was trying to be famous as well. Well, that's like those magnets repell. Well, it's like sometimes when a couple, I've seen at the opposite, like a friend of mine, she was dating this guy who was a comedian, and when she started doing well, he started getting really shitty with her. He started getting very resentful and he would be insulting.

32:16And she could tell that she was not happy that she was doing well. Because she started to take off. He wasn't. And it was like he was very frustrated and they broke up. And she was like, that always really hurt. Because I really felt like if I was doing well, if he loved me, he was going to be happy too. And he wasn't happy. It's nice if this was discussed in the beginning of the relationship. Well, sometimes a man doesn't know, and the woman doesn't know how they're going to behave. If you don't know what your character flaws are until you're presented by something that tests you. Absolutely, absolutely. So my goal was to understand it better. And there's a painting I sent, Jamie, if you... I painted this painting that kind of helped me if you can find it. It's a tree of love. And it helped me to understand better what my role is. Because my first marriage, I did not know what my role was. I was a man of the woman, American girl, beautiful.

33:19Everything was great when I shook her hand or shook my hand. She almost broke my hand. And my subconscious was like... My mother was very strong in my parents' relationship. Mom was the leader and dad was creative, wonderful man, but he would follow her. And I subconsciously went with that script, the manuscript of my life. And so this helped me to see something that I wanted, who do I want to be? I wanted to be that strong man who is able to give life to a woman that she can be free, creative, and bring our fruit children. So she doesn't have to worry about that. In my previous marriage, I didn't understand that.

34:21So on stage, I came across like I was this strong guy who was invited to the White House to perform. I was commanding a big group of 2,000, 3,000 people. And she saw that. And then in a relationship, I became like, now she knows what to do. I don't have to do anything. So I said, I do, and I didn't do it. I didn't know what it was, what my role was. So it took me 20 years and all of that education to get to that place that who do I want to become to attract a woman that wants to be in that role? Damn, dude, you thought about this shit deep. I do it. Going through it, man. I got to tell you. You're going through it because you're going through that, which is always a bummer for people, especially with children when you're getting divorced. But then on top of that, your career goes away because the Soviet Union collapsed.

35:21Yes. And then you said, fuck it. That's very admirable. You said, fuck it. I'm going to get educated and figure out what's wrong with me. Exactly. Yes. And I don't know if you have a picture of my wife and the kids and the kid. Now I'm 75 and I have a one-year-old. What? Yes. I know. When did you get married? How long did you... Seven years ago. So you spent like 20 years single. Yeah. Just trying to figure yourself out. Yeah. Damn. You went on a wedding. I went to a little Tony Robbins. What? All of his trainings. I mean, I needed to become... I wasn't that strong person. I was more like my dad and I needed to become who I wanted to be. I wanted a woman to trust me that I can sustain no matter what. And I have a feeling there's my wife and... Did you mean your wife and Missouri? No. She is from Ukraine. That's an interesting... You have a one-year-old dude.

36:22It's time to get you on some peptides. All right. That's crazy. You're 75. You have a one-year-old? I do. We got to go to work on you. We got to keep you alive. That's nuts. It's wonderful. Almost 20 years old, I mean. You have a one-year-old. That's crazy. Well, I'm excited because I figured that I figured out something. So the way... You'll get a kick out of it. So I was married to an American woman then. I was dating other women. It wasn't happening. So I took my kids, grown kids, to Ukraine. And I wanted them to show... I'm from Odessa, all right? So when they're with them, they were like probably in their 20s. And so... And on the way back, I forgot my passport on the plane from Odessa to Kiev.

37:24And I had to stay behind for a day to get a temporary passport. So I went to a park and I was waiting for this. And I see this lunchtime and this gorgeous woman are going to lunch and back. And I feel like I'm in Paris watching a runway show. I mean, it's like beautiful women and I'm going... I'm kind of relate to that. I would like one of those women. Wait a minute. But how old are you at this time? That was 10 years ago, so 65. And how old are these ladies? Well, my wife is 42, so... In their 20s, 30s. 42 and 75 doesn't seem offensive for whatever reason. You know what I mean? Like 20 and what would be the equivalent? Well, I wasn't looking...

38:25I wasn't looking. I wasn't a playboy. I was looking for a wife. I believe you. I either. But, Limit, don't care about that. If they find out that a man is that much older than a woman, they kind of get upset. Well, probably death culture is a little bit different than American culture. And so what I did, I said, okay, how do I do that? So I went to Ukraine and I tried to meet women through, like, agencies that introduced people. It wasn't working a couple of times. Then I decided I'm going to just hire three different agencies at the same time. And I'm just going to go for two weeks and I had 51 dates. So you went to Ukraine for work? Just to meet a woman. I went to look for a wife. It wasn't a woman. It was just... That's the real woman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so, yeah. So that's what happened. And I would just have a request lunch in dinner with different ladies.

39:25And I didn't take me very long because I had all that training and education. I was new. And I was looking for a woman who has a father that is really good for... I mean, I knew that if the father, if they're afraid of masculine energy, if they're being with the abuse of death or something is not right, they will not trust my energy. And that was for the handshake I could tell pretty much if that woman and all 51 dates were... It didn't work. I mean, I just knew in a couple of seconds that it wasn't right, but then I have to eat. So I gained weight just because I had to eat all this time, three meals a day. And... You were going out with three different girls a day to try to find a wife. Yeah. That sounds kind of crazy. Well, it was so...

40:26It was so little crazy. So then I go, it didn't work. Right? So what do I do? So now I decide I'm going to do a seminar in Kiev on relationships because I was teaching at Missouri State University at that time. So professor from America is going to teach this course on the relationships and laughter. Right? That was my hook. And I figured... But you did this all just to meet women. Yeah. Yeah. I did. Well, I'm not... I'm not the shame of it because I was... Listen. It's pragmatic. Very focused. A good strategy. A good strategy. It seems like the same strategy that led you to serve breakfast in Branson. You're an industrial guy. Get out of the Soviet Union. You find solutions. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. I need somebody to promote this and to find the venue and bring women.

41:28But the logic was... The logic was that the women who will come to a seminar are different kind of women that go to those agencies. Those agencies, they're hunting for somebody from outside. The country, they're looking for somebody. These women were just wanting to know more about the relationship. So what do you mean they're hunting for someone outside the country? So they're trying to escape Ukraine? Yeah. That's what they're trying to find a husband that's going to take them out of it. Exactly. So there are more in a masculine energy, there are more like I'm going to get somebody. And I wasn't into that. That wasn't interesting. So someone that recommended this lady who can do this, promote this. And that was my future wife. It was my Olivia who I now married to. And when I met her and she promoted this, I already knew that I didn't need the seminar,

42:30I just, I met somebody that I really wanted to be with. And it didn't, it wasn't immediate because we were age difference. So at first I was like, what were you talking about? And I was just professional and doing this professionally, but little by little we started learning about each other. And then I invited her to America, proposed to her on her birthday on the hot air balloon ride. I mean I was, you know, that way she could not get out that way. I could keep her there. Yeah. That is a creepy place to propose well, like you're already scared. You're gonna take care of me, please. But that would get this thing down on the ground with a big, big banner on the ground. Will you marry me? Aww. And, and she didn't know how to read English.

43:31So she, that's, she did not say yes. And then I opened the ring and, you know, and then she said, yes. So, does she speak Russian? Is that what they speak in Ukraine? Yeah. Pramellian. Is there Ukrainian language? Yeah, there is. There is. There is. That's the tension between two sides of Ukraine. One is very, western, very Ukrainian. The other one is Russian speaking. And they, Russian speaking don't mind the other side, the other side does mind. So you got it. You got it. Got it. It's like, what was it like starting out doing stand up in the Soviet Union? That's where you started, right? Yeah, I did. How old were you? I was 15. And what is it like over there when you're 15? Is there like a, a version of the tonight show in Russia? Well, no, it's a lot, at those days, you know, it was very structured, very communist

44:35party controlled. So there was only like two comedians in the whole country that were government approved. So they, they would be on the radio and television. And nobody else was really doing comedy. So what were the comedians like? Do it for the first time. Or like Vadeville. What are the names? Arcadia Rykin. You could probably Google him. Arcadia Rykin. He was the main guy that I would listen to. And in each, each apartment, there would be a little speaker that would be on all the time so they could brainwash you. Oh, you had a speaker in your apartment all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So, but then on Sunday morning, this is what, 66? Yeah, yeah, 51. So yeah, yeah, that's about that time.

45:37Yeah, that was the guy. Wow. That was the guy. Very famous. The only people from America that we saw were Charlie Chaplin and that's it. Just Charlie Chaplin. Charlie Chaplin. He thought America was just silent movies? Well, they, they, they, they betray that. They even had a, he did a Charlie Chaplin impersonation. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So he's got a whack. I would, I would listen to his, so every other Sunday or every once a month, he would have a different monologue that was written and approved by the Communist Party. Yeah. So I was really into it. I would record it and we had a big, big, different quarter like this. And I would record it and I would memorize it. And because there was nothing to be approved because it's already been approved, then I would go to like a club in my school and I would tell jokes, his jokes.

46:45And people knew that it was his jokes, but they would, they would laugh. And that's how I got my understanding that I really wanted to do that. Wow. Yeah. And, and little by little, then I went to military and I did that there kind of as an amateur. And then you just stand up for the military? Yeah. Yeah. But it would be just like holidays, like if it was Mayday or October Revolution. Mayday would look to me to entertain. So I would do that. And then I went to came out of military, went to college for art degree. My parents didn't think that I could do anything. Comedy would not be like nobody even thought that that's even a possibility. And so I kept doing it and then start working on a Soviet cruise ships.

47:48And they had in the Black Sea Soviet cruise ships. So I went, they asked me to go and perform there on the cruise ship. Yeah, you're like really. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So how old are you at the time? I was 20, 21. Okay. Yeah. Now I'm getting paid and I'm getting a cabin. And now prior to that, I lived in a communal apartment with my parents in the same room till I was 26 years old. So yeah. So no phone, nine families. Well, your parents wanted to get frisky. They tell you to go for a walk. They go look out the window. Go look out the window. Well, I joke about this then. Oh, okay. Yeah. And then they say, what do you see? What do you see in the window? How much jump out that fucking window? Yeah. And they say, what do you see in the window? I said, our neighbor's being frisky.

48:49And they say, how can you tell us? Because their son is looking at me. So that's the joke I tell. But that was my life. Wow. And here, all of a sudden, I'm introduced to this, so tourists from other countries would take those cruises around Lexi. And all of a sudden, I'm introduced to this group of people that I was not allowed to talk to foreigners. We were not allowed to even take the mean countries with it from. Germany, Britain, some Americans, some Australians, Yugoslavians, whatever from Soviet block. And it was, who was the president of, or the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the professional was the president at that time. Yeah. And so I started, so I did one week of performances. And, and then they said, would you like to stay on board?

49:53And I said, I said, can, can I bring my parents with me? And can, can we give us another cabin for them? And they said, no, you don't get any special privileges. We have hundreds of people like you get out. And I, I was like, okay, so I left. And a couple of hours later, a messenger comes, we have no phone. So it's like messenger comes and brings two sets of sets of tickets for me and my parents. And I never heard that it's even possible, like, that they would go back and their word. So I go on the cruise and, and the, I go to a cruise director. He said, what happened? And he said, well, here's what happened. These ships normally are rented to European companies for like nine months out of the year. And we learned from them that if somebody is valuable, we give them more perks.

51:00The captain liked your performance and he told them the company that even if you have to give him my own cabin, I want him on the ship. And the light bulb went in my head. I said, wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you saying that in capitalist world, if you're more talented, you get more things? And they go, yeah, that was, it's hard to imagine. It was like, change my life. It was hard to imagine for people that didn't grow up in the environment that you grew up with a speaker in your apartment. Yeah. Like, just you saying that to me, my mind is rattled. It was like, oh my God. Like they could just broadcast in your apartment anytime they wanted. Yeah. And what a great way to brainwash people. And they would jam like, because we had the big radio and they would jam voice of America. But my dad would wake up like in the middle of the night.

52:02He was wanting to know what's happening out there. And he would sit there and listen to that quietly. And I remember as a kid, I asked dad, what are you listening to in the middle of the night? And he goes, don't let neighbors hear us. This is a voice of America. We're not allowed to listen to it. Wow. You had to keep it secret. Yeah. But at nighttime, he listened to it. It's quiet. It's just said there. Rebid if they jammed it. How did he listen? No, they would jam it during the day. But at nighttime, they didn't think anybody would wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning and sit there and listen to it. How did they jam it? It just, I don't know. How does it sit there again? Yeah. I don't know. So they had some way to jam that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. It's short wave. You're listening to voice of America. Like, what was he? Did he talk about it? Yeah. Yeah.

53:03I would then start also waking up and listening. And it would be just standard American thing. Give me your tired, your hungry, your poor. Something like that. And they would, that there's a statue of liberty waiting to greet you if you come to the United States. And he would always say, you know, this would be something that I would love you to experience. And my mom was, she hated that because she was afraid that we'll get in trouble. And so she didn't want to even talk about this. So if I drew a picture as a kid, I would draw a picture of statue of liberty. And she would like, don't do that. Don't let anybody see this. You'll get in trouble. And when after I experienced the cruises and got to know this different environment, I came home and I go, mom, dad, I think we should consider try to get out of it.

54:07And mom was like mad at my dad. And my dad stood up, which was good for him at that time. Normally, he would just be quiet. But he said to my mom, Clara, don't you, would you like your son when he is my age, sit there by the radio and listen to a voice of America hoping, wishing that he would be doing something like that? Or would you like him to be in America doing this? And my mom kind of went, you know what's going to happen when we apply for visa? People who are, consider your friends, they will cross the street and they will not want to talk to you and be seen with you and you're going to go for hell. And my dad said, yeah, we will. And she said, well, if you're willing to do it, so am I.

55:09And that's all you had to do is apply for a visa? Well, what was happening at that time, Jimmy Carter was present here and he wanted to see some human rights in the Soviet Union and the Soviet leadership was, they were starving, they didn't have a food, so they needed food from America. So Jimmy Carter made a deal that we're going to give you grain and you allow people to get out. And that's how we were kind of exchanged for some wheat, you know, that's how we got out. Wow, holy shit man. Yeah, yeah. I just, you sometimes need to be reminded how fortunate you are. You know, Americans in particular, we're very, you know, it's not a fault. People become accustomed to where they live. Yeah. I think this is normal, which is one of the reasons why this pushed towards communism

56:13amongst young people is so infuriating to me. It's like I understand that it comes from this desire for empathy and kindness. I get that. The idea of socialism comes from an idea of empathy and kindness that you want. You think the world would be better if we all shared and that why are there's people that are so rich and people that are so poor and you're right. The solution is not to make the government decide who gets what because they never decide the right way. They do what people do. What people do when they have power is they enact total control over the population so that they can maintain power and then they live in luxury and then you wait in line for bread. That's how it is all over the fucking world. And if you step out of line, they shoot you. That's where communism goes. So what we need is like a more moral and ethical version of capitalism. So we need capitalism but with empathy. Capitalism but with philanthropy, like real philanthropy, not like scams where you find

57:15out that 90% of the money is actually going to all the people that work there and small person. We need to figure out a way to be more empathetic as a culture but recognize that the pursuit of freedom and the ability to have freedom is so huge and it's such a great gift. We're so lucky that we have this experiment in self-government that is the United States of America and that we were at least I was born here. We're lucky as shit. And you don't throw that away because it's not good enough. Don't throw that away because it's not perfect. You're not going to get perfect with human beings but this is the best system. Is it corrupt? 100%. Yeah, that should be fixed. The corruption should be fixed and guard rails should be put in place and maybe more regulations in regard to some things should be put in place but the purpose of this whole thing is to allow people to have freedom to do whatever they want and that's not ubiquitous in the world. That's not everywhere. This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter.

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59:20Look at your phone. Look at that. Okay. If I had that on people, it's called me a fascist. We have a giant American in France. Yeah, in France. And that's, that's not that. That flag to me doesn't represent whoever is in it didn't represent Biden when he was in office. It didn't represent Obama. It didn't represent Trump. It's that represents all of us right and left independent black, white, Asian, Russian, real, fill in the blanks, Filipino, everybody from everywhere who cares is America. This is America. This is the great melting pot. And that's, that's how we really should be. And that flag shouldn't represent some people think the flag represents racism or colonialism. Like come on, stop. That flag represents hope. And if you were a kid like Yachtoff, Samirinov, is that your real name? No, no, what's the real name? Polkis. Say that again. That's why. Polkis, POKHS is my real name, but I was a bartender, a barboy at first when I came

1:00:27here and my first job was a barboy in the Großinger's hotel in the Catskills. Oh, wow. Yeah. And he was this. 77. Who did you get to see perform there? Oh, Fredy Roman. Wow. A deep Fisher. Yeah. Yeah. Fredy Roman. Old school, baby. Old school. I was learning. Do you see those guys? I did. I did. Later in, in Atlantic City, but yeah. Yeah. I was learning English. I was learning about chopacquittic or stuff like that. I was like, what is that? You know, so I was, I was definitely learning English there. Have you ever seen the television show on Amazon, The Marvelous Mrs. Macyl? It's really good, man. Yeah, the first scene, the first season, rather, is incredible. It's about a young woman who's married and decides to become a standup comedian.

1:01:30Like she married with kids the whole deal and she decides to do standup and part of what she does. She does some standup like in the Catskills. Interesting. And like that is for people that don't know standup, there's like standup comedy as an art form is a very new art form. Yeah. Very new in terms of human history. Yes. It's only existed like in this form that we call standup. We have comedy clubs and stuff like that. It's only existed like that's just the 60s. It's true. It's a Valleville pretty much started with that, right? Yeah. It had different form, but that was, I was learning from those. What a big part of it was the Catskills. A big part of it because people from New York and Pennsylvania, they would go into the polka nose and the Catskills and they would do that on summer vacation and people would get jobs there and comedians would go and book themselves at these places. Exactly. And that was a big deal. It was. It was. And I didn't know about that.

1:02:30So you just got a job there. Just out of force. And I decided I need to learn English. I didn't speak English, right? So to start with. So how do I learn English? And I thought maybe if I can be a bartender because in the cruise ships, bar was in the same proximity as the stage was. So I figured it's the same people coming to enjoy evening and I can talk to them individually in learning English. That was my clever idea, right? And so I went and got a bartending, it's called degree of mixology. In New York, there was a makeshift school on Fifth Avenue, two weeks, $200 and you get a degree of being a mixologist. And I don't speak English but I collected that $200 got the degree. So and they promised you to get a job, right?

1:03:32And it's a first job. They got me, there was a restaurant in Lincoln Center called Monks Inn. And it was, you dress as a monk and it's a French restaurant. And you don't have to speak. You're a waiter but you don't have to speak. It was perfect. And then same school said they're requesting some bar boy in the cat skills, the grossing girl's hotel. And I didn't know anything about it. And I, on my day off, I went upstate New York and went walked into this place and it was gorgeous. It was a beautiful bar, like an 18 bartender or whatever, it's huge. And then 2000 see theater. And when I saw it in my brain, I said, I don't care what they pay me. I want to work here.

1:04:33And so I took that job and actually I was nervous because I didn't know that I can quit the other job because they just gave it to me like a week ago. And right. And so I go back and I'm so nervous. I go to the manager, I go, I know this is, you gave me a break but there is an opportunity here. And he said, Yacov, it's America, you should take the opportunity. And if you ever need the job, you get it here. And I was like Rocky, I was like, was he calling you, Yacov? Was he calling you, you'd already use that name? Yacov is my real name. Yacov is my real name. But you said it wasn't your real name. Pokies, Pokies is my last name. Oh. Yacov is my real name. So I took Yacov Pokies, Pokies, Yacov Pokies. Was it fair enough?

1:05:35And I, and I, people could not pronounce my name. So in the bar they would, I would see that they can say, I'll have some sphere now and I'm going, maybe that's a good name. And I, and it's stuck in the eye of Sveta. That makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah. But when you think about how many different people in show business change their names back then, that was a super common thing. Like you didn't keep the name that you were, if you had a goofy name, like Arnold Schwarzenegger was a ground breaker. Because he was like one of the first guys to say, regardless whether you could spell my name or you could say, that's my name, I'm going to keep that name. Right. So many people change their names and made their name sound more appealing. Well, mine, mine kind of worked because Yacov is like jokes. Yacov and Smyrna kind of makes people happy. Right. So it kind of worked. Oh, it worked great. Yeah. It's a great idea. Yeah. So you're a young kid and you're at these cat skills shows.

1:06:36How long did you work there? Uh, not very long, but maybe seven, eight months. And did you slowly learn English when you were learning English? I was learning English and I was translating jokes and I would try them on the audience or my, my customers. And I would just tell the joke and if they laughed and I knew that I, I, I'm understood. And if they didn't laugh or I didn't get a tip, then it wasn't working. So that was my, that was my gate. And you were a bus boy when you were in the bus? I was a bar boy. Bar boy. So I'm just bringing ice and mixing pinnacle others, whatever. And then you automatically then became a bartender. And then I would ask the guy, I asked the guy who was, uh, the manager of the main room, uh, Barry Wise, his name. And he, I asked him, uh, if I could try my comedy.

1:07:40And he said, no, you can't do it in this room, but in the lobby, uh, in afternoons, they have a game with older people, Simon Says. And uh, the guy who master of ceremonies there, uh, will probably let you do a couple of minutes of standup. So I did, I walked on stage and I, that's a little stage in the lobby and I'm, I'm telling a couple of jokes. And some woman in the back star that I thought she was laughing. It was like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, she had seizures. And, and I didn't know. And I'm thinking I'm doing well. And they're getting her on the, her knee out of there and people coming over and saying, you were killing, you were killing. I'm going, no, no, I wasn't killing. The whole thing was, but at least I told a couple of jokes and that gave me some confidence.

1:08:46And then I, uh, did a couple of shows in, uh, caturizing star, which wasn't very good, uh, for me in New York, in New York. Yeah. And then, and then I was working as a shipping manager in the company called greeting bells and just to make some money. And the lady said, I know somebody in Hollywood, um, uh, his name is Ted Bergman. He is the producer, executive producer of three companies, which was a huge show at that time. Sure. He said, if you go to Hollywood, I can arrange a meeting. And I, I said, okay, I'll go. So I had a plan. I, I bought a ticket for 10 days to go to Hollywood, uh, become a star and then come back to New York and buy fifth avenue apartment for my parents. That was my desire.

1:09:48It's crazy, right? But I go, okay, he's an executive producer of three companies. He'll put me in the show. I'll become a star right away. It, I know it's, it's crazy, right? But I, I really was that naive, right? So I go there and Ted Bergman says, I would like to see you perform. So I need to find a spot and I go to the comedy store and I get on the, uh, open mic list. And, uh, and then the message comes, uh, that he is not going to make it, but I'm already committed. I'm doing my five minutes and, and I'm bombed because now it's day four and I'm not even close to getting a, a television show. So I'm walking away and I'm on, on sunset and this girl, a crazy, certain, and it was

1:10:50mitzies, a secretary at that time. And she runs after me and she goes, y'all, y'all, y'all, congratulations. And I go, why, I mean, the guy didn't show up and she goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, mitzies liked you. And I go, who, who is mitzies? I know, I know, it's silly to see in front of her portrait. And she goes, she owns the comedy store, go talk to her. So I go sit down next to her and that booth that is next to it, uh, original room. And I have no idea who I'm talking to, but, and she says, you're very funny. Staying Los Angeles, there's always place for good and different. And I'm again, I'm like, okay, I said, I'm sorry, but I, you know, I have parents in, in

1:11:51LA, in, in, uh, uh, New York. And I need to go back because I, they're relying on me. And she goes, so what does your dad do? And I go, he's a building construction engineer. And she goes, can he be a carpenter? And I go, I think so. She goes, okay, why don't you bring him here? I'll give him a job. Electramidcy impression. That's pretty close. And she goes, and where do you live? I go, I, I was staying with some friends. She goes, I have a house up the hill and you can rent a room for $120 a month if you want to. That was a crest hill. Yeah. So I, I still don't know again who I'm talking to.

1:12:52And she goes and, and come back tomorrow and watch a regular show. So I come back. How old are you at this time? I'm 20, 26, 27 now. Yeah. So I go in next day and I sit in the back and first person, uh, that Harry's Pete, you probably remember. Sure. Yeah. Harry's Pete introduces Robin Williams first on stage. And he was, she just hit number one, uh, show on more commandy. Yeah. Yeah. And after him is Billy Crystal, after him is David Letterman, after him is, uh, Richard Prior. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It's aligned up like, and I'm sitting back there and I'm going, this is day five. I'm ahead of schedule. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If she likes the ham and she likes me, I'm staying.

1:13:54I don't care. And that's how it started. And she gave me a job. So basically I was helping my dad as a carpenter because she wasn't, I wasn't ready to perform there really. But she believed in it. Yeah. And she gave me a break and little by little. On someone she would say, why don't you go up and do what you, you know, and I was practicing. I would do other clubs, mean time, just to get better and better and better. And, and then, you know, she had been an amazing supporter, you know, and I continue. I built a lot in the bellroom. I built a lot of things in, in, in, and she, my, my, my, my, my main job. Was to go to her house and, uh, Paulie was a young kid who was smoking pot and to prevent midsip from walking into on him, he would take off the door knobs of the door and he would

1:14:59throw them away. And my job was to go and buy a door, new door knobs and put them in. It was like a full time job, you know. And so, yeah, I, if she'd been a blessing, a blessing for me, Paulie's at the club this weekend. Oh, is that right? Oh, cool. Yeah, he's on 25th. That's cool. That's crazy. Yeah. And so how good was your English back then? It was getting better, you know, were you taking courses? Yeah, yeah, I was, I was relentless. I would, I would do whatever it takes to learn. Uh, I was, I mean, I isolated myself totally from, uh, Russian speaking except my parents. I was speaking to them in Russian, but everybody else I spoke in English. So it got, it was getting better and better and then little by little, I got, you know, uh, kind of, uh, Robin got me a part that, uh, Moscow and a Hudson movie.

1:16:00Uh, that was the first, uh, actually. This is all in the 70s, right? This is probably like you got a rather like what? 78. 78. Yeah. And then the movie was AD and started in 82, came out in 84. Uh, so at that point, I was doing night court a lot, um, like seven episodes. Um, I could not get on it tonight show. Uh, there was a producer, Jim McCauley, who didn't think that Carson's going to like me. Right? And so I became, and he would come every day. Mids, it was very supportive of this. You, she would have like a showcase once a year of people for, uh, him to look at. And he would come and he would say Carson's not gonna like, he's not gonna like, he's not gonna like. And on, on year six, he came and he said, Yuck, let's save time for one another. Uh, you'll get on that show when the hell freezes over.

1:17:05I swear. And I, so I started watching weather channel. Just, well, I didn't have a shot. I mean, and, and I just kind of moved on. And then I got, uh, Miller Light commercial, uh, which, uh, became very popular. I don't know if you can show that, Jamie, you could probably see it. It became really big. All of a sudden I was during Super Bowl, shown and all of a sudden people kind of got, got to know me. And, um, I, um, and, and, and then Carson saw this commercial and he told McColle, he said, uh, this guy is funny. How come we don't have him on? And McColle said, oh, yeah, we were just about to get him. And so, it calls me, I mean, uh, rally in North Carolina in the club. And she calls me and, um, and I remember on the pay phone, I go all the back and I go,

1:18:10what's going on? And she goes, guess who, Hall? I go, who? McColle, he's a, he's such an ass. He now wants you on the show right away. And my, got the reaction was like, uh, I want to tell him to go shove it and then I go, no, no, no, I got it. So I did the tonight show and Carson liked me and called me over to the couch, which was, uh, uh, yeah, which was kind of a, um, a big deal at that time. And I, and I sat down and I said, Johnny, you know, in America, you have things we never had in Russia. Like policemen have warning shots. And he almost fell off the chair and we went to commercial and McColle comes over. It gets between me and Carson goes, can you do, can you do another shot like this, like

1:19:11a couple of months from now? I go when the hell freezes over, it goes to Shay, to Shay. And I did six, seven, seven episodes of Carson. And people today, young people, especially listening, don't understand what a big deal it was to be on Carson. And I think the only thing that's close today is Killtony. Yes. Killtony is a place where people's careers are actually really legitimately launched. And there's a bunch of people. The camp Patterson's on SNL now. You know, this guy's like, when I did a show, a podcast with the Black Keys, they were asking for William Montgomery to perform. Like, can we go see William Montgomery? Like, there's people that are stars from that show now. Amazing. Well, I'm here with you because I did that show and here I saw you and you invited me. So I'm very grateful to Tony that kind of got us. Tony's done that for a lot of people. I mean, he's blown up Adam Ray.

1:20:11He's blown so many of these guys. Kyle Dunn again. So many of these guys have taken off because of Tony. Yeah. It's a really amazing platform because it's just, it's just comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Totally love it. It's like a more important platform for comedians than a regular podcast like this one. Because this podcast is not always comedy. Like sometimes I'm talking to a scientist. Sometimes I talk, you know, I talk to a lot of weird, different, different people. Yeah, absolutely. But that show is just funny. And there was nothing like that back then. So the closest thing to it was the Taito. And if you got on the Taito and you did stand up, I mean, that was the first time I remember watching Richard Jenny was on the Taito. And there's a bunch of other people that are selling the Taito too. But everybody would stay up late at night. And when there was a comedian in the Taito, you get excited. Yeah. Like, oh, it was a comedian. Yeah. Let's see if they're funny. And if you were good and you were on the Taito, then you could perform a club all over the country.

1:21:11Right. And they would say, as seen the Taito, like, oh, it was a nice show. It was a huge deal. And if you had that credit and people had seen you, also back then, like, what were the numbers? The numbers were crazy. 30 million. Yeah. Because there was only four channel, three at the time, not even four. Fox didn't even exist yet. So there was three channels. And a huge percentage of the country was watching this one thing. Yeah. I was very blessed. You're not crazy. Yeah. And I'm million. Yeah. And one time I offered them, he loved to do impressions of Reagan, Carson. He was, and I offered them to do a skit of me as an interpreter. He's Reagan and then had a Gorbachev look alike. And it was a huge hit. It was really very, very well received. So, and that's another interesting thing that, you know, like, when I met Reagan, I was

1:22:16still fairly unknown. And I was playing a club in Washington, D.C. and it was called Comedy Cafe. And somebody came over to me after the show and a guy, I didn't know who he was. And he said, I'm having President Reagan and Nancy Reagan as my guests, dinner guests at my home in the two weeks. I would like to invite you to be one of the guests. And I'm thinking, this guy's nuts, who is this? You know, and he was Chief Editor of Washington Times newspaper. And he, the reason I brought this up, because so he sent me tickets. We come back and then this like a scene from like a diehard or something. We're pulling into his, how towards his house. There's helicopter, two helicopters are hanging over the neighborhood.

1:23:20There's FBI everywhere and I'm going, there's going to be a mess, you know, they're going to, they won't let me in. I just didn't think it's possible. So they get them out of the car, they frisk him, they ask for his IDs. And he said, I'm the owner of the place where the President is going to dinner. And they said, we don't care. So they get him and then they shine the light. I'm sitting in, in the passenger seat and they shine the light on me. And the guy goes, Miller Light commercial, right? Go in. Wow. That's how I met, that's how I met the President. And then it was, the moment we met each other, it's like locked in like the same. Waveling, and all of a sudden he was like, have you heard this joke? And he starts telling me Russian jokes and then it was back and forth.

1:24:21And so 18 people in the room and everybody's laughing and that's how we started that relationship. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah. And then, and then I get a call from his, Dana Robacher, who was his head speech writer. And he calls me a couple of weeks later. And he said Reagan is going to go to Russia to meet with Gorbachev. He is going to do a speech in front of all the Russian politicians in University of Moscow. He would like you to write some jokes where he's speech. And this is like insane for me to hear this. I'm going, if something doesn't go right, I don't have any countries to go to. This is like, where am I going, right? So I write some jokes. They put them in the speech. And then Dana goes, do you mind looking over the speech?

1:25:22Because we want to make sure that the tone of the speech is right. I'm going, this is too much responsibility. But I was honored. I read it and I said, I personally don't think that the tone is correct. I think you're kind of talking down to them and they're not going to like it. And he goes, he goes, then rewrite the speech. I'm going, okay. So I just changed. I didn't rewrite the speech. I just changed some tone of kind of putting them on the equal level as opposed to being talking down to the Soviet leaders. They didn't appreciate that. Do you explain how he was talking down? Just teaching them that capitalism is so much better than what they got and they should switch to that form of politics as opposed to kind of appreciate what they, and they're

1:26:28empire at that time that is still very big. So I just felt that I would be just nicer and they liked it. They just changed some of these things and they kept it that way. So I don't know how, I'm it's used to tell me, you and Reagan changed the world. I go, you're right. I'm just telling jokes. He goes, no, it was his secret weapon that he used to get to Gorbachev. Maybe there's some truth to that. Well certainly truth in that you kind of understood how they would receive what he was saying. Something that would become defensive and they would be offended by it. That was my concern. But you know, well you know that culture way better than me.

1:27:29That's what he was asking me. I mean, at some point he goes, how would you deal with Gorbachev? He was literally, and I'm like, go ahead, am I the most qualified person to answer this question? So you are because you lived there 26 years. None of us politicians have. So he was really a very receptive to my suggestions, whatever they, you know. Wow. That'd be weird. I mean, you're talking to Ronald Reagan in the 1980s. Yeah. Well, Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall. I didn't write that joke. I did not. It was a joke. It was a joke. Yeah. But crazy that it changed the world. Yeah. Change the world. Literally change the world. Change my world. For sure. Unfortunately, that's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. It's like, but that was the problem with the world back then with only a few channels.

1:28:29Yeah. I think you just decide you were done. Yeah. You were done. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that happened to a lot of like, if actors ran a foul of certain people. Right. You got cast out. You got black bald. And that was it. You never worked again. Yeah. Yeah. And that happened to a lot of people, you know. Well, I'm happy that I found Branson. I'm happy that I was able to adjust, you know. And it just like when you look at trajectory of my life, I realized that that's one of my strong skills to be able to adjust. And I was just coming, just having the idea that I will be able to do comedy in America was insane for most people. Well, just adjusting from the culture of living in Russia to living in America is saying too. You made a lot of adjustments. A lot. And when we were came, because we were coming through Italy to come to America and they

1:29:31would, in Italy, they kept us three months to check all the documents and make sure that we are not like Communist Party or don't have a wrecked by. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. And we had to survive. That was another interesting moment of our life, because we were going and they wanted, they didn't want people to leave because that looked bad for the Soviet Union. So they would do all the, they would only like change you $100 per person and you're supposed to survive like three months of living in a foreign country. And so, but they would give you a list of things that you could take with you. Like a photo camera hat, something you could sell there to live on. And yeah, and two suitcases for each person and very strict list of things.

1:30:37What was an interesting kind of loophole we found out through the grapevine that condoms was a very expensive item in Italy for some reason. In the Soviet Union, you could buy them for a penny and in Italy, you could sell them for a dollar. And so my quest was like when I learned that and there was no restriction, how many you can take with you. So I would go to each pharmacy, whatever, whatever I could get and just I was, you know, we got like half of the suitcase of condoms and we put it in my mother's suitcase. So that way, hopefully nobody's going to ask her what, what, why, you know, they would be embarrassed or whatever. So they didn't ask and we got through.

1:31:38And so my job and my parents job was to go on the open market every Saturday and Sunday and try to sell those condoms so we can pay rent and food and whatever else. So my parents, it was so funny how they transitioned. They were this two very conservative people and they're embarrassed, but then they realized we need money to eat. So they would, mom became pretty smart. She translated it from Russian into Italian. If you don't want to have a kid like this and would point at me and would hold that card and said then buy a condom. And people would laugh. They would laugh. And they would buy two or three. It was just more of a joke.

1:32:38But we were surviving on that for a long time. Wow. Yeah. So it was kind of bang for the buck kind of, you know, it was not expected, but we survived. So a lot of those moments in life when you, I look at my life and I go, that was survival. I'm coming to America and getting a job and getting to God that helped you and me to become who we are. That's just God's hand on that. That's amazing. Yeah, you adapted man. You adapted multiple times. That's so crazy. God. Yeah. Trying to survive in Italy, you didn't speak Italian. No. Did you guys speak anything other than Russian? No. No, just Russian. But there was immigration. There was other Russian people that you could kind of communicate with.

1:33:42And I would go, even in Italy, I would go to a movie theater. And I was so determined. There was one movie theater in Rome that would, for a dollar, you can sit and watch English speaking movies and you can sit there all day for a dollar. And so I would go, it was like my, I was learning English, listening to listening. And, and then one time, I remember a couple, I, I need to practice. And there was a couple, I asked them, speaking English and they said, yes, and the guy, the girl was from Belgium, the guy was from Washington, DC. And they said, we'll help you. And we'll just come every week, like on Monday or some, whatever it was. And we'll just go to a coffee shop and we'll talk to you so you can practice English. And I remember, they asked me, like, what, what did you do in Russia?

1:34:50I said, I was a comedian somehow, through dictionary, whatever I could to make that. And, and they said, what, what do you want to accomplish when you're in America? And again, I don't know anything about America. And I have this, I ask them, I said, where is the most successful people, comedians, perform? And they said Las Vegas. And I said, in five years, somehow I delivered, I'll be in Las Vegas. And it's exactly what happened. Five years later, I was at the Tropicana hotel with Murray Langston, the unknown comic, doing a show in Las Vegas. I remember that guy with the paper bag over his head. Yeah. From the Gong show. Yeah, which is a great show.

1:35:51It was a great show. Yeah, it was kind of a early version of Killton. In a lot of ways. Yeah. And a lot of ways, because some of the people were just like unbelievably untalented. And then you would hit the Gong. Exactly. That show was great. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't they try to bring that back? Didn't they try to bring the Gong show back at one point in time with someone else? I think they did. Who did they bring it back with? Do you remember? Jamie? But do you remember? You don't remember? Yeah. I talked my head now. It was someone that you like, huh? I wonder why they chose that person. Actually, yeah, 2000. David Tell. Oh, that's right. Who was it? It was David Tell. That's right. It was 2012. Well, it says briefly in 2008. And then again in 2017. And then I don't think he was involved in that one. 2008? No, what you said? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, he's perfect for that.

1:36:52The problem is once the show has been done, you try to redo it. Right. It's always going to be right. Yeah. He's been the three different versions of Fear Factory now. You know, this is like now they're doing it with Johnny Knoxville. It's kind of crazy, like the amount of different things that have happened in your life, you know, and then now to find yourself with another revival because it killed Tony. Yes. Like, yes. And going back on tour, I have a poster. I know people on the radio can't see it, but I have a poster of my tour. Well, what that's, we'll send it to the website. Yeah. So I am excited. I'm excited. And we're going to comedy clubs. Yeah. Over the post. Yeah. Atlanta is the next one. No one can do that. Oh, okay. Put it down. They'll go to the website. Jim will pull up the website. Yeah. Yeah. And it's on yorkof.com. Yeah. That's hilarious, man. So what was the kill Tony experience? It was great. I mean, I am obviously my show is kind of a G rated.

1:37:59And so, uh, kill Tony is not. And so, but yet it was, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. He was so respectful of this, uh, Tony and set me up. You know, I mean, I felt like my head was this big. And he was seeing me as a super legend. And I am very grateful. It's hard for me sometimes to accept that that people see me because I've been doing this for 60 years. 60 years comedy. That's crazy. Yeah. So I remember the first time we met, we met at the comedy store. Uh huh. Ooh. I want to say, was that like 15 years ago or something? Probably. You dropped in and I had never seen, and I was like, oh, like, what is he doing in town? Yeah. And you just decided you wanted to come by the store and see what was going on with the young guys and do some stand-up. And we hung out for a little bit in the green room. And I remember telling you, but a young cop is me.

1:38:59And I was really funny, man. These fucking cool. Thank you. Thank you. It was fun. It was fun to hang out with you. You know, it was like, it was fun to see you hanging out with all these weirdo young pot-smoking, looking animals. And you were dancing, right? Yeah. You were coming from France and you hanging out with Joey Diaz. And we were laughing though. We had a good time, man. It was a really good time. It was fun. It's fun. And I go back to clubs and my goal was really to last year, I would go to small clubs and develop an hour of material that is totally current. I talk about relationships. I talk about having a one-year-old in my life. I talk. And it's an interesting I was doing it at your club. And it's great to watch the reaction of the audience. How they have a lot of respect, but they're also laughing.

1:40:00And they're seeing it's fun because I talk about relationships. So they might come in disconnected, but then all of a sudden you see how they put their hands next to each other and then they put me out. But I like it. I, your unitter, I bring couples closer together with your comedy. That's really my goal. I like that you like that. I enjoy seeing families like Nate Perguetzis, really the one who kind of got me out of Branson because he shown that there's a need for that humor and families come. And when you go to his show, it's like looking around. Yeah. Grandma and grandchildren and parents. But everyone's laughing. And the thing about Nate that's so unique is Nate is hilarious to me. Nate is hilarious to a 20-year-old kid in college.

1:41:00Nate is hilarious to their grandmother. Nate is hilarious to your children. You can bring your 10-year-old kids to see Nate. Nate is a genius. And that is who he is all the time. He's like a really funny, very smart guy who's got a perfect style. It's like, I mean, he, didn't you make like the most money ever or something like that last year doing stuff? Yeah, it's all the most ticket ever. He did a million dollars. Well, something crazy. But it's like he's doing this, like selling out stadiums two times in a night. Exactly. Yeah. And he does like 3 p.m. shows. It's nuts. Right. It's incredible. But it shows that there is a need for that. Well, it shows that it doesn't matter. It's just funny. Like Brian Regan's another great example. Brian Regan's squeaky clean, unfucking, believably funny. Yeah. So talented. Yeah. So funny. Yeah. And it's just funny. It doesn't have to be clean or dirty. And we have that at the club too. I mean, this is like the club gets labeled as some kind of extreme anti woke thing.

1:42:03It's nonsense. Like I played high perform there at their club a couple of weeks ago. They totally loved it. Nobody expected anything and they just enjoyed it. They laughed all the way through. I love doing that. So to me, I see young people who don't know me and they're totally relating and I'm relating to them, which is great. That's what I want to do. We're human beings telling jokes that's it. That's all it is. And if comedy done correctly is done from your perspective, whether your perspective is Nate Bargazze or your perspective is fucking, you know, fill in the blank, David Tell, whoever it is, Joey Diaz, Brian Holtzman, whatever it is, it doesn't matter. It's like, it's what's funny, it's funny. And it might not be your thing. That's the thing too. One of the problems with comedy is that there's only one label and you might go see Brian Holtzman, it's like death metal comedy. Or you might see Nate Bargazze, who's like, you know, I don't know what's equivalent. Well, Leanne Morgan is another one that was kind of out of nowhere became very successful

1:43:10because she has that clean, southern humor and the Netflix embraced her and all of the sudden she is touring and doing concerts. Yeah, all you have to do is be funny. It's like funny from whatever perspective you're coming from. And again, it's not going to be for everybody. That's how it is. Right. There's a lot of people that aren't going to like A or B, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's just, but the thing about comedy is like when you go to a comedy club, you don't know what you're going to get. You might get run DMC or you might get ACDC. You have no idea. Right. Right. It's just, it's all just comedy. I think that's one of the cool things about it. Right. And I totally agree with you. And I want to be able to do that one hour straight comedy. No, there was an interesting thing that happened about a year ago or so. I, a young comedian, he said, you know, I was writing some jokes.

1:44:19And he was helping me. And he said, Yaka, you know that you're not a standup comedian. You're a one man show. And I go, at first I was like, kind of what? What are you talking about? And because I tell, I tell in, for instance, like more storytelling and not just punchline, punchline, punchline, punchline. And he was, he was correct. So I, first I got kind of like, what do you mean? Who are you to tell me? I'm not a standup comedian. And then I go, uh, Chajipiti is Yaka of a standup comedian or is he one man show? And Chajipiti said Yaka of Smyrna used to be a standup comedian. And now he is a one man show. And now coming from Chajipiti, I'm going, dang. That's, that's now official way the menace.

1:45:21So it took me a whole year to rewrite everything that I needed to rewrite to say it's punchline, punchline, it's just straight comedy. So I became a standup comedian again. Well, there's nothing wrong with one man show standup comedy either because some people do their comedy like one man show. And some of the best comics like Colin Quinn. And Colin Quinn does a series of one man shows, but if you ask Chajipiti, who is Colin Quinn, it'll say he's a standup comedian. Right. But Chajipiti got me wrong. Whatever it was. It doesn't, it's not even a person. Right. But, but it's actually helped me to tune in my comedy. And because I was maybe a little bit more relaxed being in my own theater with all people coming to see me. So it's not like you're in a club when you're like with other comedians when you have to

1:46:23be really, really sharp. Yeah. And that's what I think it did for me. So I spent a year doing that. Now I have that aura and I'm ready to go and that's why I went on the tour. That's awesome. Yeah. I love when comics are still interested in it and still writing and stuff. I love it. After all these years. Absolutely. You know who I draw some inspiration from as well as Argus Hamilton. Yeah. Argus is still killing. Yes. Still killing in LA. Yeah. Keeps going. And every time it's something new in the news, he's got it, what's he got a great fun line about it? He's a funny dude. He is. He's still getting after. He still loves it. And you know, Argus used to like famously be into the substances. And now all he does is run. And I remember one time we were at the comedy store and we were in the parking lot. And it was after the show and Argus showed up with fucking running shoes on. Just ran in. And I'm like, what are you doing, man? It is like I have to run every day. And do a set because the him, that's his motivation.

1:47:25Yeah. And he does like, I think he runs like 10 miles a day. Yeah. He's in his 70s. And he's interesting that, you know, when I was so naive because Argus was very friendly with Mitzi. And I would go to their house and I would see Argus there in the morning. And I was like, why is, you know, and I couldn't connect those two things. I mean, I could not. I mean, honestly, it was, it was, I'll tell you how naive I was. So Mitzi gives me that work, right, up, and I live in that house. And Andrew Dysclay moves into that house, right? And Andrew teaches me English. Okay. Can you imagine that? Robert Abdub. And so, but that was a party house. I mean, this was a house where, uh, was Kenisyn living there then? Kenisyn would just hang out there all the time.

1:48:27And, uh, they would scream at each other. Andrew and, uh, and, uh, Kenisyn. And that was just kind of a joke between those two. And they go, uh, and I would have to go to bed because I got to get up early in the morning to go work. And those guys are screaming at each other. Uh, just for fun. And I go downstairs and I go, Hey, guys, your friends stop. So we're playing this joke and there. Yeah. Screaming. And I go, you know, what, why don't you, you're close to the comedy store? Why don't you go downstairs and scream? And they're, and they look at each other and go, Okay, let's go. So it's midnight and we're all going, whoever lived there, going to the comedy store and Sam gets on stage and starts screaming this is the first time that he ever got on stage

1:49:29and he went to the, and very few people in the audience and he went into their face. Ah, you know, yeah, that's where it came from. That's where it came from. And then after that, it just became like his, his thing and the rest is history. That's crazy. Yeah. That was, that was happening there. A lot of stuff was happening there. They would come and do drugs, you know, like Robin and Richard, Richard Pryor, they would do, and I tell you this is silly, but I would wake up in the morning and I would see a mirror on the table, right? Okay. So bear with me. So, and there's like white powder on the table. So you clean it up. I was thinking they're eating donuts off the mirror. So I would clean whatever it was, hang it up. And next morning I go, I guess.

1:50:31I don't you guys use plates. You have a dishwasher and they would laugh at me and they wouldn't tell me what's going on. But weren't they mad that you threw it with a coin? No, no, there was not much. I mean, it was just, yeah, they were residue. I had no idea. I wasn't testing it. That's how much coke they had that they left some of it on the mirror. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that's crazy. It was, and but I didn't know. So I kind of lived in that wholesome kind of a world in that way. So you were there while Kinnison was developing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did he arrive at the store around the same time that you did? A little bit later. A little later. Well, like what year did he arrive? Probably 79 I would say. And he really lived around like what, 85, 86? Yeah. Yes. And then I would say. He had that HBO special that blew him up. Probably.

1:51:31Yeah, probably. But now I found out about Kinnison. It's a funny story. I've told it before I apologize if the audience has heard it. I was working at a health club at a gym called the Boston Athletic Club in South Boston. And I was a trainer. I teach people how to lift weights. And there was this girl who was a volleyball player. She was hilarious. She was this big girl. She was very funny. She was just like, boy, she was like a really loud, funny lady. And she was like my age. And she told me about Kinnison. And then she told me about his bit. She was like, oh my God, I saw this guy on HBO. She had a heavy Boston accent. This guy on HBO, he was so fucking hilarious. And he did this bit about people having sex with corpses. So she does this bit. She laid down in the parking lot of the Boston Athletic Club and did that bit. So Kinnison had a very famous bit about homosexual necrophiliax who were paying money to spend

1:52:33moments alone with the freshest male corpses. So she is lying down on the ground in the parking lot. And she's like, oh, I'm going to light that. She's the whole thing. I'm going to be with Jesus. And now I'm dead. Oh, what is this? It feels like someone's fucking in the ass. You mean life keeps fucking you in the ass. Even after you're dead, it never ends. So she was doing his bit. And I was laughing at her doing his bit. I'm like, I got to see this guy. This is crazy. So that was my introduction to Sam Kinnison. My friend lying on her stomach, doing an impression. I'll never forget that, next. I was 19 years old. I remember that. And I remember things. So it was 86. So I remember thinking, this is crazy. I was so blue. So I had no desire to do comedy back then. I wasn't even thinking about it. It wasn't even on my radar. It was never even a thought. I loved comedy. I loved watching it, but I never thought about it. So what made you, what was the transition when you started?

1:53:34Well, I mean, it was heavily invested in martial arts. That's all I wanted to do. All I wanted to do was my goal was to compete. And that's all I was doing. So the reason why I got the job at the gym so that I could have a place to work out and also I could make money there. And my friends that I used to train with, they're the ones who told me to do comedy. But I was like, listen, you laugh at me because you're also psychos. Like, this is what I'm saying. You're fucking crazy. Like, we're all fighters. We're all traveling around the country fighting. Like, this is not a normal activity. This is not normal humor. But my good friend, Steve Graham, whom I'm still friends with to this day, he's the one who talked me to doing it. And then I went to an open mic night and I realized, oh, everybody sucks in the beginning. Like, it's just like martial arts. So you start off with a sock and then you get better at it. But my introduction to comedy was that lady, really my introduction to Kinnison, right? The idea, because when I saw Kinnison, I was like, oh, comedy is a lot of different things.

1:54:36It's different. There's a lot of different forms to it. Because I always saw guys like Jerry Seinfeld who were very funny and they tell these jokes, but I never thought that was me. I couldn't do that. But I saw Kinnison, I was like, oh, this is a bunch of different kinds of comedy. This is very interesting. And then when I started out in 88, boy, the guys in Boston used to talk about the comedy store like it was Mecca. Like, you had to go there. You had to go to the store. The store was where Richard Pryor started and Sam Kinnison and all these comics, David Letterman, they all came out of the store, Bill Hicks, you know, the doormat at the store. And everybody talked about the store. It was one of those things where it was like, you know, you had to go there. And then my first maybe got on a television show. I flew out to LA to do a pilot. And that was the first time I ever went to the store and I remember being so weirded out, just being in the building. Like, wow, I can't believe I'm at the comedy store. Now, when did you meet Mecca?

1:55:38I met Mecca in 94. So I did the pilot. The pilot wound up getting picked up. Then I came out and I was on a TV show that, it only lasted like six episodes. It was called Hardball. It was a sitcom about a baseball team. And I played the star player. I played this crazy dude who's always crashing his Lamborghini and he's that kind of shit, you know. And so I would spend my nights every night at the store. I didn't have any friends and I didn't know anybody there. So I just would just go to the set. And then after the set, I'd go hang out at the store. And then I eventually, Mitzi showcased me. I got, became a non-paid regular. So I got to go on after the comedians performed. So the way it worked at the comedy store, they'd have a show that was scheduled from like 8 p.m. to like 1 a.m. or close to it. And then after, it was probably like really midnight, but it always was like 1 a.m. By the time I got on. And then I would go on after everybody else. And I did that for a few months.

1:56:39And then she passed me. And I remember thinking like when she passed me, like I was like, oh no, I think I could be a comedian now. Like this is, I actually can make a living doing this. Because before then, I wasn't sure. Right. Even though I was getting paid, and I would do comedy, I'd get paid to do comedy. It was still like very iffy. I'd bomb a lot. It was like, it wasn't. Right. Also, it was like in the middle of the sitcom. So I was working all day. I didn't want to do that anymore. I mean, I liked it because it paid a lot of money, but it wasn't really my thing. It wasn't into acting that much. It was, to me, it was like comedy was more exciting. It was live, live audiences. The sitcom thing was fun because you got to use like your skills in telling jokes as a comedian. But it wasn't the same thing. And then I got news radio, which was a much better show. And then I was like, well, this is different. This is, there's other levels to this. And that's how I met Hartman and all the other people. But it was, to me, the most important thing was getting past

1:57:40at the store. I was like, wow. That was more important to me than getting a sitcom or anything. I was like, I can't believe it. I got past my names on the wall of the fucking comedy store. I was, wow. It was so exciting. It lights too now, right? Do you have it? Is it neon inside? Yeah. I'm on the wall inside. Yeah. It's just like this lady, Mincey Shore. Like people don't understand. She was the most important figure outside of all the comedians. The most important figure of in comedy. By far, there was no one like her. And she was a mentor. She was like a, she was a curator of a mental health asylum. Like, there's a joke. And she would joke around about it. She was like, the inmates are running the asylum. And that was originally when we came to Texas. I was going to call it the asylum. Really? Because I thought, as a nod, as a nod to my face, I was like, one of the things that someone said, because, you know, Ron White was the first

1:58:44guy to move here. He was really like patient zero. And he was like, I'm going to call it the asylum. I was like, I'm going to call it the asylum. I was like, I'm going to call it the asylum. I was like, I'm going to call it the asylum. I got a move here. He was really like patient zero in the Austin comedy experience and the new version of the Austin comedy experience. And he was like, it's the center of the country. I love it. Because I can fly to New York. I go to Florida. I go everywhere. It's in the middle. You know, it's like the flat-tongued, long people are nice. I love it here. And I was like, oh, well, it's like the mothership. And then all the other places like lunch, lunch, lunch, and also I'm obsessed with UFOs. Obviously. Yeah, I was like, I've been to the UFO problem. So that's why we called it the mothership. But I mean, the bar's named Mitzies. Yes. And it was, you know, losing her that early.

1:59:47I still think she went too early, you know, in the... Well, for me, it was like she suffered for so long. It was really hard to see her, you know, she had a neurological condition. Yeah. Later in her life, it was very hard to see her. She would come around and store it. But, you know, she nurtured so many comedians and helped us. Oh, and not always. Like sometimes she had terrible advice. She would change her whole act, make you have a fake name. She tried to turn Joey Diaz into fat baby. Is that her? That was his nickname or his name. So on the lineup, instead of Joey Diaz, it would say fat baby. Ah. She said that for like a couple years. Wow. Yeah. It didn't know that. And some of the old lineups, Jamie's found them before online. It'll like line up from like 2001 or something. That says fat baby. That's what she was calling them. Yeah. And she was a special person. She's such a special person.

2:00:47And just that lady loved having that place. She knew that there was something going on there and there had been something going on there. There was very unique in the world of comedy. And it was necessary, you know, to have a place like that. Where the comics all felt at home. Yeah. Like we would perform in other places like we would do sets at the improv. We would do sets at the I remember one time I did new years at the improv. And it came back to the club and Harris Pete says, I love it. You go over there. You do your shows, but you come back home. I was like, yeah, we're all this is our home. This is our our weirder fucking home. Yeah. You know, the home for lost children. Like you may see we call it the home for the island of broken toys. Yeah. Just a bunch of weirdos. Yeah. And but all like like feeding off of each other. But to be able to see somebody who is barely speaking English and does five minutes and

2:01:50spot him somehow. Well, she loves developing comedy. She loved developing comedy. She loved finding a comic and getting them, right, which is one of the problems like she didn't. It's really interesting like Jerry Seinfeld went and she didn't pass him because he was already developed, right? And that crazy. Yeah. Like she didn't like that. She's. He's done. He's done. Yeah. She liked taking people when they were really raw. That's true. And shaping them. Rosanne was her big project. Sure. Yeah. She came to a lot of big projects. Yeah. And and and so is Jim Carrey. Mm-hmm. And many, many others. She also had like very specific like techniques she would use to test you. Like she would always take comics and put them on like especially the young new ones after all the really good comics like she did with you. When you're talking about like doing that set, you can reach her prior to going up and robbing Williams and that's what she would do. Yeah. She would take young comics that she thought had potential and she would shove them after

2:02:52the biggest names. Yeah. People that were killing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was a, how's a unique person? And such an important person in comedy. And and Peter, that was a big moment of my life. I went to her funeral and Peter, her son, asked me to be one of the pole bears in her funeral and I felt like full circle, you know, she gave me my life, you know, in a totally different way. If I didn't meet her, God knows what, what I would be doing. No, I mean, she, she helped all of us and I think it's one of the reasons why we talk about her so much. It's a reason why we named the bar after her. Yeah. Just to, and the spirit of what she was trying to do at the store, we try to do it the mother ship. So all the weirdos, welcome weirdos. Welcome weirdos. Hi, man. Let's have fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's twice.

2:03:53Yeah. Yeah. It, it feels like the original room, the little room, the little boys room. Well, you know what I say? It's like the little room is like if the original room and the belly room had a baby. And then the big room is like the original room and the main room had a baby. Right. Right. It's true. It's true. Yeah. It's true. But you've done a great job. It feels, it feels like home when you walk in there. It feels good. You've basically copied everything that I learned from her and added more. Yes. Yes. It looks awesome. It looks awesome. And it's interesting that I was helping to build that belly room and then kill Tony star that in the belly room. Yeah. You might have been the last person to work on that belly room too because that fucking room scares the shit out of me. I've been in the bottom, like in the, the bar area, ordering a drink and like roast battle beyond stage and you see the ceiling move.

2:04:53You know, like Jesus, Yaccholoff, get back up there with a fucking hammer and add some support. I'm not taking the responsibility. I was just doing a booths and yeah, I was structured. Yeah. That's good. Somebody was. Yeah. I just think something like this. There's no roast battle. When you have roast battle up there, like they would get so wild and rowdy and it would be packed. It would be packed and it's only supposed to see like what, 70 people or 80 people. Right. Right. It would be a lot more than that. And a fucking ceiling would move a little when you were in the bar. You're like, bro, I hope this doesn't cave in. That would suck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A place is a magic place and it's also a magic place because it was like a magnet for crazy people. You'd have the weirdest, nuttiest people that would just come there. Like that one guy. There's one guy that we used to come there. He was a really nice guy and he would always dress as Jesus.

2:05:54Yes. I don't remember that. Yeah. Do you remember his name, Jim? He was heavenly light. That's right. And he wound up dying and everybody was so sad. They were really sad because this guy was, it seemed like a gimmick but we got used to it and he was really nice. I mean, it was just like this nice guy that dressed like Jesus all the time. There he is. But it was part of the fucking cool, crazy weirdness of the comedy store is that we had a guy that dressed as Jesus that was there all the time. Yeah. You know, and like, I don't know if he ever did stand up. Did he ever do stand up? I never saw him on stage but he would be in the room sometimes and he definitely had timing to give a joke but I don't remember ever seeing him like with a mic in his hand. Isn't that crazy though? Like he was just always there hanging out and he was like, but that was the part of how nutty that place was.

2:06:55The place was just strange. We ran into so many like completely schizophrenic people in the parking lot. They would just wander their way back there and start talking to us and explain to us about the voices there. Brodie show is that. Oh wow. Wow. Yeah. Brodie out of my show was just that's how weird that place was. It was just such a fucking, just an unusual spot. Yeah. And so we've done our best to make our own version of that here. And the, that crest hill house was also a crazy place. You know, I'm not doing that. I think that was a terrible idea. I'm not gonna buy a house and have a bunch of creatives living it. That's us like a recipe for a bucket disaster. I just can't manage all that. You know, I almost bought crest hill at one point. Yeah. They were selling it and I was really thinking about buying it. But I had a dog at the time. His name was Frank Sinatra and Frank Sinatra was an escape artist.

2:07:59That was not a big enough. You know, if you, I'm a firm believer that if you have a dog, you really have to have a big yard. I think otherwise it's cruel. I think the dogs need exercise. Right. They need something. If you don't have a big yard, you got to be able to take that dog out every day and exercise and bring them around. Otherwise it's rude. And crest hill had that little tiny backyard. Remember, and it was on the hill. I'm like, he's getting over this fence. Like, he was a pit bull. I'm like, he's getting over that fence. Like that, that dog could get out of anything. I was like, that poor guy. I'm not doing that to him. So I never bought it because of my dog. Literally, I was thinking about buying that house and she was selling it. But it was, I went to look at it. I went to look at it to see if I could buy it. I think some comics might have been even living there at the time. Yeah. So this was like, they sold it several times since then. I was just, they're not too long ago and it's all kind of destroyed because the guy is kind of wacky and he's remodeling it.

2:09:00Oh. But it was a big part of my life. I was living there in a little room. He's through the disclet downstairs and he's teaching me how to date women. I know. I know. It's crazy. But I was so naive. And he was clean at that time. You know, his act was very clean. He would tell, you know, he would do impressions of Elvis and John Travolta and so Vassista alone. So he's and he would be very funny. We were pretty good friends. He would just, but he would play with me. He would say, he would play that, you know, I would have a girlfriend come and he would say, so now you want me to go downstairs. Can you imagine Andrew being this, you know, crazy? So now I gotta go downstairs and I'll be over myself and you're going to be with this

2:10:06girl and you're my best friend and how is that? And I go get the hell out of here. She's going to be here and then she would come and he would do it in front of her. Well, you guys are going to have fun now and I'm going to have to go downstairs. There's nothing there. And he would just play and play a lot, you know, and then Tom Wilson was living there too. Tom is the guy who did Biff in back to the future. He was the bad guy, right? And so Tom was kind of a clean cut guy and Andrew was, you know, not. So so one time I was supposed to break up with this girl. I wanted to break up with her and he goes, Andrew goes, I have an idea for you. We're going to go to a jewelry store. We're going to get a gift for her so it will be easy to break up.

2:11:10So we go, we'll buy a ring and I'll bring it. I brought it back and I go, Tom, Andrew told me to buy this ring to give it to this girl. So it would be an easy break up and he looks and he goes, it's an engagement ring, you know that, right? And I go, but Andrew told me to buy it. I'm great. He goes, Tom goes, Andrew is not a representative of a human race. So don't listen to what he's saying. So that's how it was kind of a fun relationship. But it was interesting because I was very enterprising and I'm working for me. It's you know, she's paying me whatever minimum wage and but I'm saving money and we live with those guys and we have a two car garage, but no cars in it.

2:12:10So a friend of mine says to me, why don't we go to Germany together, we borrow some money, we buy two Mercedes's and we sell one and we'll get one for free. It was kind of an interesting idea. So we went with some complications. I was able to bring two cars and sold also. So here's, these guys are sleeping till like noon and they don't have a car and they don't, they're just bombing right and I have two Mercedes in the garage. I sell one and then I go to Europe. They hired me to do a Bob Monkhaus show, which was a kind of a Johnny Carson show for England. And I fly there and they give me a bag of money, 10,000 euros, not tears, the pounds in

2:13:10the bag to do their show. So I buy a Rolls Royce and ship it to America. So now I have a Mercedes for 50 SL and a Rolls Royce, but I live in a room for $120 a month. And so this is how weird it is. And I want to buy a house, but I don't have enough money. So this Realtor passes by one day and I'm polishing the Rolls Royce and she goes, can I borrow like a hammer to put the sign in? I go, you know what, your Realtor, maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a house and I liked when Mitsy had that big house, 5,000 square feet over looking LA. I'm like, I want something like that. And I said, I tell her, I want a 5,000 square foot house with an acre of land and I want

2:14:19to buy it with a view of LA and I want to buy it for $150,000. And I'm thinking she's going to hit me with a hammer. She goes, I may have something for you. And I go, really? And she goes, yeah. And there was a house literally like a block away from where Mitsy was, similar structure, only it was destroyed. It was a house that Laney Bruce used to live in years ago. It was Seymour Cacell, who is a character actor. I don't know if he's still around. Maybe Jamie can find it of him. He was a character actor and he got into drugs and lost that house to his attorney. And so I go look at the house, it's totally destroyed, but my parents needed a project.

2:15:28And I needed them to have a project. So I said, how much would he, and he said, he'll take $150,000 because it's totally destroyed. There's stuff, swimming, but there is stuff in the basement like flooded. The windows are broken, destroyed. So I buy that house, but I want to buy it. But I have to get all the paperwork. And I go, I need, there is some kind of discrepancy that a sliver of the land belongs to a neighbor or something like that. So I need to sign that guy Seymour Cacell supposed to sign something all. And I go, where am I going to find him? I go, the attorney goes, I know where he is, he's in jail. So I go to jail and I figure I'm going to offer him money to sign this paper.

2:16:31And I go in, I have like $500 in my pocket and I go, I need you to sign this paper. And he goes, I said, how much? And he goes 50. I go, 50,000, he said, no, $50. I go, why 50? He said, they want to allow us more than $50 in jail. So now I'm in jail with a $100 bill trying to get change, which is not a good place to do it. I got it and now I own that beautiful home. You still have it? No, I sold it and moved to Pacific Palisades that time. And when my kids were, my daughter was born and then had to sell that house and lose a lot of money to move to Branson.

2:17:32So are you in Branson still? I do. You live in Branson? Yeah, I own theater there. So how did you start coming out here? It was a desire to kind of do what I felt compelled that I can still offer something valuable to the audience out there watching Nate Berghacy doing that. And he had me actually, I was in Florida and I wanted to go see his show and he's in this, this hurts arena, 12,000 something people. And I asked if I could just go come see the show and he said, why don't you go on stage and do a set. That was like, I walked out there and I felt like I was back in the 80s.

2:18:39You know, the audience just, the moment they said my name, they knew who I was. That audience knows who I am. So they just went crazy and I felt like Rocky standing there bowing and then I did like just eight minutes. And so he's very respectful and very, he feels like I, one of the people that kind of paved the way for comedy to be what it is today. That's awesome. So I've been very blessed that, you know, and so how did you wind up in Austin? I came here for the festival that was that, Moon Tower. And then I had Adam, Adam got me a spot and that's when I met Tony and Tony said, why don't you be a guest judge on my show?

2:19:40And I was going with my family to Europe because my family is from Ukraine. So my wife's family from Ukraine. So they moved to Europe. And so we went there for two months and I said, Tony, I can't do it right now, but end of August, I would love to do it. And that's how it all kind of came together. Wow. Yeah. That's awesome. What are you doing tonight? I don't have any plans. I was just, was hoping to get through for this. Because you never know. I'm hoping that, you know, I'll be happy to do whatever is out there, you know. You were hoping to get through the show? You were, well, you have to know. I mean, your show, I don't think you can fend them how big your show. I mean, I know you know the numbers and you know, but to get to have the conversation

2:20:43for three hours and not really knowing where it's going to go, what's going to happen, how it's going to be, you get nervous, you know. And I feel like I was going to a national and that was national comedy festival a year and a half ago. And I went there and I walked into Ryman's a auditorium and Brian Dorfman, you probably know he's a promoter. Here in Bambler, me from the years in the past and there was a show that all the Nate Varghetsis, the Pratishais were doing. And I walked in, I didn't know what was going on. And he said, you want to go up and I go, okay, I'll go up. And I went in the middle of the show and I did 15 minutes and the crowd gave me a standing

2:21:48of vision in the middle of the show. And I know it's, I get emotional because I feel like an ugly duckling that goes in and doesn't know if these young people going to accept your nod and can you still do it? That was, I mean, Branson for 33 years. I'm very comfortable in that environment. But going into the young comedians, it's like a boxer who hasn't been out there and there is respect, but also respect only last 30 seconds after they introduce you. But then you have to prove that you got what it takes. And that's what I feel like I want to continue to do this because I believe I can still offer something valuable to the audience that, that family audience that could learn something

2:22:54from me, could laugh with me, whatever it is. That's very wholesome, Yankov. You're a wholesome guy. Well, thank you. I mean, with Alcenseira. Well, I'll tell you, it's interesting. When I graduated from my, from Pepperdine and I came to comedy and magic club in my, almost a beach. I loved that place. Yeah, me too. Shout out to Mike Lacey. Yes, yes, he's the best. And I showed up in my cap and gown, kind of proud. And Jay Leno's there all the time every Sunday. And Jay goes, so what's up, what's up with that, what's up with that? And I go, well, I decide to get a doctorate degree because I really think that there is a research on laughter that you could really help people understand it better. And he goes, Yankov, you're a comedian.

2:23:56You write a joke, you tell a joke, you pick up a check. And you go and you go and that's it. And I go, but what about like humanity and no, no, he goes, no, no, you don't get it. You write a joke, you tell a joke, and you pick up a check and that's it. I feel like there is more that I can do. Well, you know, does Jay's perspective, right? My perspective is much more aligned with yours. I think there's a lot more going on and I think comedy is very valuable to people, including me. If I don't feel good, then I can go watch people tell great jokes and laugh. I feel better. I like it. Absolutely. I like it. People like it. People keep coming to see it. There's a reason why people come, it's medicine. You really? Yes. I know that's like very cliche. No, no. So laughter is medicine. But it is. There's something to it. It's a lubricant. But if you don't have oil in an engine, it will not go.

2:25:00And I think laughter in the relationship is that lubricant. Well, and with friends, it's just a fun thing to do. Absolutely. That's one of the reasons why I like going there. Yes. Like we get to hang out together and laugh. Yes. Speaking of which, do you want to do a set tonight? Sure. You know anybody who can get me in. I know. It'll be my show. I'd love to. I said, am I short? I love it. I don't want to go into this. Wow. We'll have some fun. What a gift. And if people want to see you other than that, you're on tour. What is the website? It's at yacar.com. Yacar.com. Yeah, my next show is in Atlanta this weekend. Well, people go to it. It's up on the screen. There it is. Yeah. Stand up podcast host legend. You have your own podcast? I did for about a year. What happened? Baby was born. Oh, yeah. You do in a lot of good spots. You do in the punchline. You do in the punchline in Sacramento. You do in Cobbs in San Francisco.

2:26:02Comedy works in Greenville. Greenwood rather. That's the other comedy works. There's two comedy works. Nice. Side splitters. Great spots. Beautiful. Yeah. Well, people who come see you, man. I hope so. And you're very funny. So it's good. It's good to see you out there. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. I really enjoyed talking to you in the green room. I'm glad we did this because that's a crazy ass story. Thank you. My pleasure. You're good, dude. Y'all go off. I love you. Thank you. All right. I love you too. Bye, everybody. This episode is brought to you by the farmer's dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra-process kibbles still the status quo for most dog owners?

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