2038: The Hidden Cost of Being "Too Much"

How much of what you want for your life is actually yours — and how much of it has been negotiated around one very powerful question: What will they say?

What will your family say if you make more money? If you become too successful? If you leave the safe job, start the business, move away, ask for more, speak up — or simply decide you want something different?

My guest today, Denise Soler Cox, has spent years thinking about this, particularly through the experience of high-achieving Latinas who can find themselves caught between two competing messages: You’re not enough. But also? Don’t become too much.

Denise is a filmmaker, speaker and now the author of What Will They Say? Confront Cultural Taboos and Discover Your Inner Power.

And this conversation goes places.

We talk about the cultural scripts that can make ambition feel almost like betrayal. Why being taught not to ask too many questions can eventually affect everything from your career to your relationship with money. Why so many women are financially self-taught. And Denise gets remarkably candid about her own finances — including what happened when a thriving speaking business tied to corporate diversity initiatives began disappearing, tens of thousands of dollars at a time.

We also talk about being a breadwinner, taking up space, reclaiming your name and identity, and perhaps most importantly, learning to trust yourself after years of being taught to look outside yourself for permission.

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