We have a girl inside the house during rush leaking us information.

0:00This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. 30 years ago, an island off Manhattan almost brought down New York City. Who will you trust? Your friends and neighbors? Who will you trust the people five miles overseas? This is a story about neighbors turning on each other. And what happens when a forgotten place decides it's had enough. But we're not stopping, are we? Listen to revisionist history, the Staten Island problem on the I Heart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Dirty Rush, the truth about sorority life. With your host, me, Gia Judais, Davey Kent, and Jennifer Fessler. Hi everybody. This is a juicy one. This is a juicy one. Okay, so this is what I would call this dirty. This is a dirty rush, dirty rush. So we have someone here who will remain nameless.

1:02She is a senior at a college on the west coast. I will say that. I also will say she is in the middle of rush. So we grabbed her. It's bid day today. We grabbed her out and we're going to get all the dirty dirt. You are in a top house. I would argue you're in the top house at your school. Some people could argue there's probably two. Would you say there's two or three top houses? I would say there's one other one that's up there with us. It's considered the top two. And then would you say there's two more that are sort of right below? Yes. I will say the names of those four houses and you won't know what how she's in. Kappa, Alpha Phi, Pi Phi DG. Yes. So she's in the top two of those four, whatever you consider those to be. It is the middle of rush. And we're going to get the inside track of what's happening. So first let's quickly go through the days. So rush goes for about a week at your school. Count on her fingers. Five. College student. Count on her fingers. So five days.

2:02And the first two days they go to all the houses. Then what's the third day? Sisterhood. And what happens on sisterhood? Sisterhood is where the PNM's go from 12 houses to 9 houses. So we rank them. They rank us. Yes. Sisterhood is house tours. So that's fun. So that's when they go and they see the houses. Yes. And I always think that certain houses have an advantage that don't have super gnarly sleeping porches. But we can get into that another time. So then what's on the fourth day? Fourth days, Filo. Okay. So this is strange that you guys call it Filo. So I think for people that don't know, that's philanthropy. So this is where you share the charity or the organization that is passionate to your sorority. In this case, Kappa, Alpha Phi, DGPi Phi. Okay. So you've told me previously, and I know this secret person, what makes your sorority so strong on Filo day?

3:02Filo day. Filo day. Filo day. For us with our chapter, our chapter is very universal. And they also like these philanthropy, they're nationwide. So at every. So at every Kappa, it's this thing. And every DG, it's this thing. And every Pifi, it's this thing. And every Alpha Phi, it's this thing. Yes. So say somebody's charity could be breast cancer. So across the whole country, that sorority focuses on breast cancer as their initiative. Okay. So Kappa is mental health. A.F.E. is heart health for women. Pifi is literacy for children. It goes and not the same every year. No. So this is sort of for a decade at a time. So Filo day, I remember when I was doing it as like as a PNM, you know, you go into each house. And from my perspective, there were some houses that definitely just felt like they were doing their Filo because it was required. Yeah. It wasn't anything that they really cared about. It was just like, this is required from us by Pan-Holenec.

4:02And we have to raise. We're going to be. Yes. We have to do two events a year. And this is what we're going to do. And that's about it. And sometimes it can be a little bit of a snooze when you're out these houses and they're giving their presentations. And it's just no one cares. No one's affected by anything. No one like has any passion like going really towards it. It just seems like something that we have to do. Yeah, because from a, you know, a bird's eye view, it does seem dull. Like I'm not like look, this is where we keep it real. I think philanthropy is very important. I think being charitable is very important. As a college freshman, I think I would think, well, this is dull or want, want, want, kind of like I'm just hearing it. But so what makes it so special at your house where it actually helps you win for a lot of our house, what we do. So we actually have two philanthropies. We have one that's on campus and then we have one that's national. Okay. So for the one that we do on campus, it was. It's something for an alumni that we had.

5:03And we share a really emotional video that we've made that we've used over the years. And that kind of that's girls from your school or more than our school. Okay. That's our school. And then for our second, which is our national, we have one of our girls who was our philanthropy chair last year. Come up and do a speech about how she was very personally affected by what our feel like fights for a cause for basically. And very, very emotional tear jerker story because it's just. It's true. It's true and it's real and you can see that. It just I think it catches the PNM's attention that this isn't just something that we're required to do. And it then allows them to connect more with us and be something that's more vulnerable and go beyond the surface. What's your major? Where did you go to high school? Right. And what dorm are you in to something that's like real? Yeah. So for and for us to like we always say like when we start off with the two unity days and sisterhood like those are more traditional surface level days where you're having more cookie cutter conversations.

6:12Then for us when we go into Filo and we go into prof, that's when we're vamping things up. I would say other houses, that's when they're starting to lose momentum because they're not really connecting with their PNM's by the time that Filo hits. And it's kind of a snooze fest. Okay. So then the fifth day, which was last night for you at this mystery, mystery school, was preff night. So how would you describe preff night? Like what is what what happens that night gives sort of a little bit of, you know, explanation. Preff night for us is we really solidly say that every single girl that comes back to preff and makes it that far. Our girls that we want. So say 100, can you even give me a ballpark number? So do you have two parties on preff night or. Or oh, because we have you have four PNM. Go to two. So how many about it every party? 50? No, like less.

7:13Maybe, maybe 30. Okay. So say there's about 120 girls then. So 30, 30, 30, 30, 30. And would you say for the most part, you would be happy with all 120 of those girls. So at that point, they're down to it. You pretty much want them. And now it's putting them on the top of the list. Is that how you guys do it? The way it was in my day is like, say there's one to 120 and the list goes and your top 50 are the top 50. And then the second half is your next and then so on. R's for us how it works now is you have these things called preff points. And this is every every chapter you have or given six preff points and you can give a preff point to a girl that you either have. A connection score with which I'll explain or you talk to them at some point during recruitment. It could have been you talked to them on every current girl in the house gets six. Yes. Oh wow, this is so different.

8:13Okay. Yeah. So every girl had to figure out how to spend your six. Yeah. I mean, normally you even actually don't end up using all six because a lot of girls don't make it back that you had talked to in the beginning. I mean, you didn't like where we started with 1500 PNM and now we're down to 120. Can you give all six of your preff points to one girl? No. Oh, you have to. You have to write a max one. So. And before recruitment starts, you have something called a connection score where you are given the entire list of all the PNM's that come in. And if you have a connection to them, you went high school with them. If they're from your hometown, if they're a family friend, whatever it is, you can give them a preff points. And because you have a very deep point. Yes. By the way, anyone listening, this is so confusing and the way we used to do it is so much easier. This is like a mess. But okay, so you've got your monopoly money and you're spending your six dollars. Okay. So then you say I'm going to give Mary a dollar. I'm going to give Sally a point.

9:13I'm going to give Susie a dollar. So what we do though, I'm going to give Molly a dollar. Let's say so let's say that you it's preference night and you don't see a single girl that you talk to from recruitment. None of them. None of them made it back. Okay. I have six preff points. What do I do? What we do then on preff is you allow drop-ins. You can do max two drop-ins where you can go drop in on a PNM and their preff buddy. To meet them. To meet them so that you can give them a preff point. But you can only do two people. You can only do it. Each party. Each party. For people listening, it's so like, look, I get it. It's like, huh? All right. So let's try to like help people here. So preff night's happening. And typically two girls preff a girl. Is that right? You have two. One girl will preff one PNM. And then once those two run off to their room together. One on one.

10:13One on one. One on one. Yeah. Once those PNM and active run to a room together, they chitchat for a while. Then there will be two other girls that are active. And they will go and drop in. And so we. And I can't reveal, but this secret person and I are in a similar sorority. I'll say that much. So we had two on one preffing. And in my case, I knew both of them. They were both hometown people. So that I think also is more rare, right? Because. You would typically meet, have met the person that week, right? Yeah. You typically don't. We typically want to avoid you prepping someone just because you're hometown people. That's more a thing of you can drop in, but you shouldn't be the main preff person. I would say that more so if you're a junior or senior. Got it.

11:13I mean, yeah. Look, on preff, I went to Kappa DG and Tridal. And at Kappa, I knew both people at DG, I knew both people. And at Tridal, they were new. I didn't know them, but I kind of like knew people they knew. So I think back in the day, it was more common that you would actually preff the person you knew from growing up or high school or family or whatever. Okay. So tell me a little bit about preff night. You're you've got this girl in the room. What kind of stuff are you now saying to her? Preff night for us is nice to be one on one. For some reason, I thought you weren't allowed to ever be one on one with a person in the room, but I think you sing that was. So you can be and you go into the bedrooms. Yes. And it's a do you sit on the balcony? No. If you're two out that's two out in the open. If your house has a balcony. Okay. So you're in the room with the girl. And what kind of stuff are you saying to her now at this point? I think this is a point now where you can talk about the untraditional things that you aren't supposed to talk about during recruitment, such as going out.

12:20Like the fun events that you guys do together of like if you guys do something with like this frat house. In the talking about bull. What is your talking about talking about like what people like to say like the five bees. So you get to talk about those things. And I think that's the only thing that can be done that's not just because this is a night where we're fighting for them, we need to convince them that they should be in this house and not the one other house that they're prepping. So if that involves us making a PowerPoint and showing them like the unhinged photos of how we actually are once they join the sorority. Then that's going to help and that's more enticing. And that gets some more excited. point now, here's my hot take on rush. All through the week, it's advantage house, especially top houses, right? The house really has the advantage. On Pref night, it really flips. In my opinion, now the girl has the advantage, especially if she's going to two top houses because that means these houses are now fighting for her and she's kind of in pole position where she really is going to pick. So what happens is after last night, they come and it

13:22went late, right? You went to like 11 o'clock at night. So late. I don't think I was home to like 12 because school is also you're good doing school. Yeah, you we do every part every round after school. So it's like you start like six. So you have these parties. The girls leave and they go wherever they go and they write down number one, number two. So if they went to DG and Kappa, they put whatever their top choices and one of their second choices and somehow through the algorithm through Pan Hellenic, there's some sort of everything enters into a computer. This is my like archaic waves explaining it and the computer figures out the matches because it wants to get the girls. They're number one. Right. It's a whole pool. Yeah. And so if you're anywhere in the top list or these points in our day, it was like a list in you match, you're going to get your first choice. They want to give you your first choice at that point. This is where like when people call me and they're like, should I suicide? Excuse the word, but that's what people call it. I usually say

14:23now. No, I normally recommend to not in less suicide second house is a house that you literally will not you'll you'll turn it down. I still even say even if you do have a higher rank house and a lower rank house and you're going into that on-pref, it is really best to just put that as your number one. Yeah, yeah. That call was really pivotal for me. Hey, it's Emily Tish Sussman and this season on She Pivots, the podcast where women share bold career moves and personal turning points that changed everything. I sit down with culture shifting women who share their pivots, like Para Olympian Alley Truett. I was like, I'm on out from a shark attack. There's no way in 11 months I'm making the very long text advocate Elizabeth Smart. I still feel that drive that I can still make a difference. So I'm going to keep going. Celebrity chef Carla Hall was that scary to walk away from such a stable career after

15:24just two years? No, I was more afraid of being unhappy than I was broke and in a dead in job that I didn't enjoy. And feminist legend, Gloria Steinem. All of us were trying to express women's real lives. We need a meeting place of our own and if I can contribute to that, I'd like to maintain that and leave this house for that purpose. Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Self-Case of Temba is here, which means it's time to rethink what self-care actually means. Yes, self-care can be a long walk. It can be an everything shower. It can be putting your phone on Do Not Disturb. But sometimes it's actually about sitting with the uncomfortable stuff and understanding your patterns, your boundaries, finally figuring out why you keep doing things that you swore you would never do again. I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the Psychology of Your 20s podcast. And each week we unpack the psychology behind the experiences that shape your 20s from relationships and friendships to money, anxiety, confidence,

16:26attachment, just becoming more comfortable with who you are. Unlike the quarter-life crisis which is depicted as the collapse, the quarter-life reinvention is the expansion and the growth of something. When we develop the ability to be happy by ourselves, nobody else can take that from you. So this self-care September, don't just take care of yourself, get to know yourself as well. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. 30 years ago, an island off Manhattan almost brought down New York City. Who will you trust? Your friends and neighbors? Who will you trust the people five miles overseas? This is a story about neighbors turning on each other. And what happens when a forgotten place decides it's had enough. We reached for a feeling that exists in this city. But we're not stopping early. I'm Ben that of Half-Rate. And for my new series on revisionist history,

17:28I took a deep dive in the Staten Island's attempt to succeed from New York City in the 1990s. And what it all has to do with the politics of resentment that dominate America today. Listen to revisionist history, the Staten Island problem on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I hate that job. You're probably just going to meet some rich guy and he's going to whisk you away and I'll never see you again. Oh, this is awesome. Would you say a dealers actor? De? I don't even know there's this thing as De. No, no, no, I mean like I didn't even get on the sea list like I'm not even average. I'm not even passing. I'm failing. Listen to no safe words with October and Tonic and Zalas, part of mycotour podcast network.

18:32Available on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This is J. Valentine. I've spent my career on the executive side of this industry, multi-platinum songs, building artists and building business. And alongside my brother, Tank, the superstar R&B singer, songwriter and producer, we've created something special, the R&B money podcast. This is not just a podcast. It's a safe space where artists, executives, and fans of R&B music come to reminisce, pull back the curtain and tell the stories that shaped this culture, the real history behind the hits. That was hood famous. Yeah. And then real love came out and it blew up. We lived in a project. Yeah, and they were seeing all the success. They hear the music and we had nothing. We're covering the entire spectrum from Smokey Robinson, Alicia Keys, B2K, Mary J. Blige, Legends, Current Stars and everyone who's contributed to the sound of R&B. You come out the gate with a hit. And then not Michael Jackson out of number one. Come on, man. I was like, hold on. I'm not gonna MJ out of the number one spot.

19:34If you're a super dedicated R&B fan who wants the real discovery, the real stories, this is your podcast. This is the R&B money podcast. Listen to R&B money from the Black Effect podcast network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Okay, so the girls leave and the end of repeating stuff. Sorry, it's just so confusing. It's like everyone listening. I feel like you just be like, huh? So you now know the girls that are coming to your house tonight for midday. They don't know yet, but you all get a list and I'm sure this is true of every house in your school. They know the girls that are coming probably so you can prepare, but they don't find out to like five o'clock, right? So five, five, thirty, whatever it is. Do they open an envelope or how do they find out? They open a natural physical old school envelope. And then do they run right over? Yeah, they run right on home. All the frots will be holding up

20:38signs really with the top house. It's that. Yeah, so it's the fraternity boys are out there like, yay, DG, yay, camera or something. Yeah, whoever, whatever hot frat house you're tight with, they'll be holding out signs. We do another thing too, where we have sports teams coming out and hold signs like in front of our house. Yeah, we'll have like baseball and water polo. They'll all be holding our house signs. Welcome to DG, the capo. Welcome to PIFI. Oh, cute, cute. And then there's sort of a girls only party, right? Yeah, then everyone disperses and then you all go into the house and you have dinner at the day party. I don't remember. I think so. You have like, you figure if it's six o'clock. Yeah, you have like, we have like catering things about every eye. And then how late does it go tonight? I think till like 10, but you're still not allowed to go to the go out. You're not allowed to go to fraternities yet or you are. You're not allowed to go to fraternities yet. I mean, I'm a senior. So we're going to go out, but we're not going out to the frat parties, but they're supposed to be dry until tomorrow at 8 a.m. Okay, so today's Tuesday.

21:42So bid days on Tuesday. So starting tomorrow, Wednesday, you could go you can go on frat property and wasn't me this on a Saturday, but it's too. Okay. So then and then this weekend, there's parties. Yeah, this weekend's game day. So there's a big, big, big, yeah, yeah. So that's a lot of schools. Okay, so do you typically think that most of the girls get their first choice? Is there a lot like how often does a girl get her second choice? I have to admit, I have one, my roommate, she, I didn't know this about her, but she put down 80 pie, which was a lower ranked house at my school and put them first and actually put a fee second and then ended up in ended up in a fee. Well, interesting. Okay. Okay, interesting. So I mean, it's really hard to determine. I mean, it's a strange. It's so confusing with the algorithm and the preff point. That's

22:45very strange that that happened. Yeah. And I were always like, that's like, when were you going to be an 80 pie? Like that makes zero sense. And then you want it up to get 80 pie. Yeah. No, she didn't get you because I and that just means that they didn't rank her high. They didn't give enough preff points to be at a higher part of the list for the cutoff. I mean, we cut off at 50 pnms. Yeah. Is that what your pledge class size is most likely 50, 50 girls? Pretty 50 cutoff. Yeah. Okay. Interesting. And nobody moves right in. They all live in somewhere. Nobody tipping. No, no, no, no, they they live in the dorms until software. So okay. So back on like, preff, how far will you push it? And also we'll talk about this situation. And again, if we're repeating, I apologize. So I know some girls going through rush. They're friends kids, right? Because obviously I'm old. So so their mom, my mom friends have daughters going through rush at your school. So what I was wondering is obviously like, we're not going to pretend I don't know them. You're not going to

23:50pretend I don't know them. Is it considered dirty rush that I've been asking you questions? I know what they like. I might be telling you what they like. You might be telling me, oh, they're still on the list. Like we're careful about it. But I that I don't know where I draw the line on is that dirty rush. I mean, I think dirty rush and I'm really aware, but I think dirty rush is really only applicable if it actually is impacting the PNM and how far she moves up within the house. Dirty rush is also like, say alpha fee was like, we're giving you a bid. You should put us first. Right. If you're splitting with Kappa, they're not going to put you first. So you won't get them. That seems very dirty. I think like with our situation, if it's a girl that I hadn't even met and I hadn't even talked to her and my say literally means nothing and I literally can't even vote on her to be like ranked up higher in the house, then it's not even applicable to being dirty rush. Like, could you have done a drop in with my girls that I knew me? If she knew me,

24:54yeah, I had to drop into a random. No, you know, I'm leading drop into like a hometown yeah, connection. Yes. And it needs to be someone that you know and our basement girls, the girls who just basement, everyone talks about these basement girls. We didn't have this. What are they doing down there? The basement girls are the ones that are navigating the entire algorithmic system and the vote like the entire voting process. Do you think there's ever a time? Okay, and try to tell the truth when somebody in that basement is is is shoving a girl higher than the votes like it does hinky stuff ever go on in that basement. It's so it's so locked down by pan-holic, but there's no pan-holic rep in there. No, but it's all on a system in a computer. So it's right, but what would prevent so say say some girl Jane Smith is say you know she wants your house and she's like number 52 on the list. Can you ever like do you think those basement girls go

25:57just slide her up there when I say it's so and I like literally wish that could like you could get in there like that. It doesn't work. It it's so mathematically calculated to where you can I don't know how to explain this. You can look and see that this girl talked to two people. If she has three votes then you know it's you already know you're busted for this week and then boom you can get find you can get. Oh, no girls can get in trouble right the girls can get in trouble for that and it's like their entire job is to calculate and make sure that one PNM is talking to two girls and by the end of the entire party they know the number that they're going to hit on votes. And if that number is out of whack, the part can't you can't lie away. Here's what I'm going to say and I'm going to just say this. The part that I don't like about the new system versus the old days is you in the old days if you knew the person from home you could vote on them. Even if you didn't talk to them that day, even if you didn't see them you can vote on them because you know them and

26:57you know to give them I think we were one three five one was like five was thumbs up three was bring her back again. I'm not sure right. I'm this is what I remember but say I knew someone from high school. I could just give them a five. So with us it's like they only met two people. You could get like a hundred votes if the whole house wanted you. For us it's technically it's supposed to be one through 10 and every two three four five or just one or 10. So I've learned with other houses that they can do one two three four five whatever to 10 our house because we have such a high retention rate and because if you want to say it's because we're a top house and every single girl that we want normally is always coming back we either vote them a zero 10. So that for people listening that means basically this house because it's a top house say they invite back a hundred girls typically all hundred will say yes to coming back to that house but there are other houses that invite a hundred girls but only 30 come back. So that's why you guys can be a little bit more

27:59we can be a little bit more selective and it's kind of for us every single girl that gets our house back they got a 10 every single day from every single girl. That's why by prefnight you want you know that you'll take any of them right. Interesting it's so like wow all right so before we go what else sort of happened this week like are are any of the boys ever calling from the fraternities and saying like hey this girl's great watch out for her or like what do you think impacts the most other than just the girl meeting the girl right is it a phone call from the boy is it a phone call from your friend from high school that knows like what would impact you sort of pushing a girl up the list or giving her a higher vote. I don't know if that's technically I can give a story of when we're here for it. Yeah I don't know if that's necessarily applicable I mean it's so I just think nowadays recruitment has to be so on lockdown just because everything nowadays is

29:03considered been promising I mean if I point out a girl if I wink out a girl. Oh my gosh it everything yeah don't don't let them walk away with a cup if right it's it's a nightmare. But I can share that I remember from when I did recruitment and so you were the rushy I was the rushy and I did recruitment later I did recruitment as a sophomore so I was walking into these houses and knowing a lot of the girls already and that was definitely a very different perspective because you kind of are already walking in and you know what the chop houses are you know what they're known for like py-fi is known for being the very nice and sweet girls cap is known for being very classy. Athe is known for being like more the loud party people it really depends on your house so I remember coming in and I I kind of knew what I wanted. Mm-hmm basically and I was going through it and everything was going well and I I was getting all the houses that I wanted back and I was really happy about it and there was a house that I I know how to really close hometown

30:08friend in and she would text me throughout the week I I hope you're doing really well how is it going and it kind of was it was like these are the houses that I'm getting back and she would see me come back the next day and she would know and like I would get my list back and I would text her of like I got post to be texting her no okay no but I but it's because it's like let's I get it yeah yeah I just like you know you're like let me just text them I would text her I'm like I'm about to come to this house okay great I make it through Filo and I'm about to go vote on the houses that I'm going to put as my two because you go from six houses to two houses yeah that you're not really dropped you have to cut a lot of people off yeah and for the grushies right because a lot you're going from six to two that that's the worst drop that's the worst drop and yeah it's it's it's a look it's definitely daunting especially when you have you can go from having a great experience to like oh no yeah because I remember for me I had two top houses I had two midhouses and then I had to like very very bottom houses and that's just simply because you're being really

31:13nice and like you you have to be nice to everyone or else is considered dead fishing um oh I've heard about this dead fishing we've talked about that before I find that to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life with that did not exist in my day it should go away it's so stupid we'll do that we'll talk about dead fishing again another day I'm like horrified by that but yeah it's where it's it's really horrible so when I learned about that I said that can't be true yeah it's it's awful and just with my school it's also just disgusting we had there was a house that would have 30 girls missing from a party because they would choose to not show up but then don't you get kicked out of rush yes so that's what we were nervous about as our house is if you guys are doing that that's horrible but guess what that means you're not even going to get a house you're not even going to get a spat I mean first of all who thinks that that's oh that yeah I'm sorry that is so Gen Z it's just so Gen Z it was it was all need to back to manor school but whatever I remember from my field of I like a range of houses from wherever you want to rank them and so I remember

32:15kind of going into profit I was like oh gosh like I really hope that I just get the top two houses that I wanted but another impact that I had was I got a phone call from my friend a friend who was also doing recruitment we were both doing recruitment and sophomore okay and she got a call from the same friend of hers in the house in this house that was your friend that was what I also had a friend and it wasn't the same person same no same house two names yeah what my friend Ashley was in this house DG py five py five okay fine my friend Ashley was in this house py five and then my other friend was doing recruitment as well with me okay and she got she also got a call from py five she also got a call from a girl Lauren and py five this is this is dirty rushing this is this is this was like a whole next level yeah horrible and so Mary gets a call from Lauren and Lauren says hey I know that you didn't get py five back and as your friend I would feel so guilty

33:19not telling you about this but I think that you should know this already horrible thing to do and my friend Mary is like I don't even have your houses back yet no we don't have our house I hadn't even called it advanced to say you're not getting py five so yeah so this Mary though sure to got dropped from py five on a few days so Lauren was just feeling guilty and felt the need to tell this to Mary and she said the reason that you got dropped was because our house does a voting system where after every single day after every single party we all gather into the chapter room together and we put on a slideshow of every single girl that came into the house today and we do red light and green light when green light comes on you give them three positive adjectives and then when red light comes on you give them three negative adjectives okay this is this is not how we did it but it's closer to how we did it so we ended this red light green light nonsense which to coming from other houses that are higher ranked than py five who don't do all this rigamarro and back and forth

34:25and the slideshow nonsense we simply just vote on the girls who we talk to and this house was also known for being you know the nice girls and the angels and the we're like like really like not not from this and go both ways on it right because there is a theory that in the meeting right so say a girl was having a bad day and she didn't have a great conversation that day the rest of the girls in the house that know her can save her right they can be like I know Katie do not vote her out bring her back she is awesome yeah whatever so it can go both ways I think it's tough to not have be able to have that conversation and just go strictly with this voting but at the same time it also could pop a girl out because I don't know maybe she kissed someone's exactly it's it gets like Katie things like that so she tells Mary she goes well so when your red light came on no you were called bratty and spoiled and selfish by some girl that she

35:26went to high school with Mary really wasn't even friends with and wasn't even the same friend group with and they were in completely separate grades and she was like that's ridiculous but whatever I mean I already got dropped from five five just to say about her right and she goes but and then Lauren then decides to scoop around and try to get the dirt on things all the names here but okay Lauren who's in the house who's calling my friend she says I have to ask what happened between me person me and Ashley what happened between the two of them and my friend was like what are you talking about they're totally fine they've been best friends for years they're hometown friends they're very close like what could you be talking about and she goes well when apparently when I got on the screen for them to vote for me after fear alone friend red light at you my so my friend stood up sobbing crying during my red light and she was sobbing crying so hard that she couldn't even get the words out and everyone was very about off but saying oh that she was so emotional

36:32so everyone was kind of it gave the impression that I did something so horrible to her that when she stood up she was sobbing crying so hard that she couldn't even get the words out to say the three negative things about me so and then but the girl who's calling my friend about this to talk about me was like don't say anything though because this is our voting and we can't have this out and if this comes out I'm risk being brought to the friend again oh I texted this because this is such a close friend of mine I was crying because I didn't want to say anything bad about you she yeah she bet I texted her immediately and I was said I know I'm not supposed to talk about this but I would be lying to you if I told you I didn't know that you guys do this and again crazy coming from someone who's a P&M during all this and I'm literally about to go into prayer the next day and I said I know about this I know that you apparently stood up sobbing crying and you couldn't even I guess it was said that you couldn't even get the words out about me what is this about and what did

37:34she say she basically gave me the rundown on how horrible that the process of what they do is and how toxic it is and at first I was kind of like I don't really know what to believe and then she ended up dropping the house actually and moving out because she said that it was just so horrible and toxic but she said you know like as someone who like I know and like such a close friend from like for many years and like when you came up and like just seeing your photo like on the slideshow and just like seeing if people were just going to be like ammoed up just to say three negative words about you who all sort of girls that really don't know you because mine do you like these are girls who like what you have for seven minutes seven minute conversations with like you don't know actually like know them and she then my friend went to standards and said she's not going to put us back for preff and is going to vote us out because she knows how we were voting so you guys might want to figure out who's going around spreading our voting details and our voting secrets with P&M's which is a huge problem and when I look back at the situation now with someone in the house

38:40you don't you're not meant to share those voting things with someone who got dropped from the house just because what is that doing for the right right right it's kind of like my friend who she first shared with where she's like well I already got dropped so it doesn't really matter that call was really pivotal for me hey it's Emily Tish Sussman and this is an unsheep pivots the podcast where women share bold career moves and personal turning points that changed I sit down with culture shifting women who share their pivots like Para Olympian Ali Truett I was like I'm on out from a shark attack there's no way in 11 months I'm making the very long text advocate Elizabeth smart I still feel that drive that I can still make a difference so I'm gonna keep going celebrity chef Carla Hall was that scary to walk away from such a stable career after just two years no I was more afraid of being unhappy than I was broke and in a dead

39:40in job that I didn't enjoy and feminist legend glorious dynum all of us were trying to express women's real lives we need a meeting place of our own and if I can contribute to that I'd like to maintain that and leave this house for that purpose listen to sheep pivots on the iHeart Radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts self-cars of tempa is here which means it's time to rethink what self-cars actually means yes self-cars can be a long walk it can be in everything shower it can be putting your phone on do not disturb but sometimes it's actually about sitting with the uncomfortable stuff and understanding your patterns your boundaries finally figuring out while you keep doing things that you swore you would never do again I'm james beg the host of the psychology of your 20s podcast and each week we unpack the psychology behind the experiences that shape your 20s from relationships and friendships to money anxiety confidence attachment just becoming more comfortable with who you are unlike the quarter life crisis which is depicted

40:40as the collapse the quarter life reinvention is the expansion and quarter of something when we develop the ability to be happy by ourselves nobody else can take that from you so this self-cars of tempa don't just take care of yourself get to know yourself as well listen to the psychology of your 20s on the iHeart Radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts 30 years ago an island off Manhattan almost brought down New York City this is a story about neighbors turning on each other and what happens when a forgotten place decides it's had enough we reached for a feeling that exists in this city but we're not stopping I'm Ben that of half-rate and for my new series on revisionist history I took a deep dive in the statin island's attempt to succeed from New York City in the 1990s and what it all has to do with

41:44the politics of resentment that dominate America today listen to revisionist history the statin island problem on the iHeart Radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hey what's up i'm toning Gonzalez and i'm october Gonzalez but you can call me Toby we want you to join us on our new podcast no say for it's with october and toning Gonzalez we get real about marriage parenthood sex divorce and all the nitty gritty stuff we all think about but just don't say hate that job you're probably just gonna meet with some rich guy and he's gonna whisk you away and i'll never see you again and this is all what would you say a dealers actor D I don't even know there's this thing is D no no no i mean like i didn't get on the sea list like i'm not even average i'm not even passing i'm failing listen to no safe words with october and toning Gonzalez part of my cool tour podcast network available on the iHeart Radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast

42:48hi it's alieke baldman this season on my podcast here's the thing i'm speaking with more artists policy makers and performers like actor seven root i think for me to be any good or for any character actor be any good you got to put enough of yourself and your empathy for people in it i'm a people watcher you see that guy going down the drain though yeah i can use that open igloo co-founder i love staying on top of what is going on in our city what is going on in city politics what is on renters minds and taking all of that knowledge to build a platform that hopefully is going to make new york city better in the long run and actress and singer Melissa erico partnership took on a whole other meaning when i started making my own work it's like you with a great actress or actor it was best to come out of your trailer full of life and just face another person who's full of life and don't talk listen to here's the thing on the iHeart Radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your

43:50podcasts look for people listening this is the reason we do this podcast because it is so crazy there's a lot of things about rush that you're like what happens and i have conversations with moms all the time where their their daughters going through rush but they didn't so they they are just like wait what what is happening it does sound crazy and then when you're in it you're like it's actually not my crazy so like i get it i mean all that sounds i get what you're saying right because i understand what's happening but i think someone listening's like huh huh what breadlight green light voting one right ten what so all right there's always so much more to talk about that's why this podcast will go on and on and on so to sum it up this mystery girl here is in the middle of rush it's very juicy and do you feel like you guys got all the girls you want it i do i mean as a senior i didn't talk to

44:56all of them but from what i can remember and like seeing the list and then going up to like look up the girls is instagram so that i could connect like the name to the face i was kind of like wait i think we i think we stopped it yeah i think we did it yeah and as a senior how much interaction will you have with these pledges um i mean it really just depends like i don't think on day to day things no i mean that's their job to connect with the sophomores and who they're going to be living with i so interesting because one of my best friends truly closest friends was a senior when i was a freshman so i do think those friendships happen we were definitely good friends when we were in the sorority together and then 30 years later we're even closer now but i do think there are times when a freshman and a senior becomes super tight yeah i mean i would say like this was by far the most senior participation that we've had which is really positive and really great and like even to have seniors prepping freshmen is yeah i did the seniors were totally involved and like interestingly even

45:58i have a friend from the sorority who's like eight years older than me seven let's see no six years older than me and she's a great friend wasn't even in the house when i was there she'd already graduated but i think there's still that bond especially when you're in the same sorority at the same school it's like even if you're years apart you kind of are instantly bonded by that so anyway i mean look we'll keep talking about it all there's it's just never ending there's so much juice to talk about it's crazy you gotta just go through recruitment and go through the chaos and then you finally get the house that you wanted and things go back to normalcy and look i think it's interesting i know like i said the girl that's going through rush at your school i know what how she got she won't find out till five thirty i know she's gonna be thrilled because i know what she put first so there are those things where like it's impossible to avoid people are going to sort of know things it's kind of amazing that it's kept as secretive as it is with how the world is right these days

46:59and social media and people with loose lips that it even does become as much of a surprise as it is and it is fun to like open that envelope and see the house and run over there so you know yay to everybody going through rush at your school all best wishes to everyone going through rush because it is gnarly i mean that the parents we need to do another episode where these parents because they just go through hell yeah i mean i only heard i talked to i knew a dad last night was texting a mom i mean a dad yeah texting a mom i know how stressful this is blah blah blah like a dad that's definitely person at bnm can actually talk to you can't talk to your friends about yeah they really getting back or what house is you liked they really call the parents you just i i talked to my mom after every single party so much so that my mom's best friend also at a daughter that was doing recruitment at the same time as me at the same school and they were literally at dinner together one night and they were both just getting calls from us i'll definitely go out with the two girls i know because they don't have anyone else to talk to in their mom didn't go

48:00through rush so like they need to have like a ant figure or a you know figure that knows what they're going through so anyway we'll keep getting dirty yeah talk to you guys soon 30 years ago in island off Manhattan almost brought down New York City who will you trust your friends and neighbors who you trust the people five miles overseas this is a story about neighbors turning on each other and what happens when i've forgotten place to sides it's had enough but we're not stopping are we listen to revisionist history the statin island problem on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts this is an iHeart podcast guaranteed human