#130 What if the Unsolicited Advice We Give Is Really for Us?

What if we're really the ones who need to hear it? 

The next time you go to give advice—especially unsolicited advice— ask yourself whether the advice is really meant for you instead. 

We think it's for the person we're talking to, but what if we consider: if it came to us, it's for us. 

This morning while journaling, I had a huge aha about advice for my sister. As I continued to journal, I wondered what if this is really for me. 

I was lucky I was in a meditative experience because I could receive it and reflect on it. 

It actually was really good advice. 

For me. 

If we're set on offering the advice, here are some things to consider: 

One, before giving the advice, notice the feeling that precedes the advice. 

Am I seeking to soothe them or me? 

Do we feel anxious or helpless holding their pain? 

Are we seeking to feel useful? 

Are we merely wanting to alleviate their suffering? 

The answer can be different at different times. 

Two, are we seeking to fix or hold space? 

When my friend's adult son comes to her for advice, before they start a conversation, she asks: Do you want me to listen? Solve the situation? Or give advice? 

Often he picks the first option. 

Even when we give the advice, what if we allow ourselves to receive the advice as well? 

The information presented on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or prescribe for any medical or psychological condition, nor to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure any such conditions.