#154 What If Those Emotions Aren't Even Yours?

0:00What if those emotions aren't even yours? Welcome back to Finding Joy in the Heart. I'm your host, Suzanne and Laura Baron. Do you ever feel revved up and can't figure out the reason? Especially when everything is seemingly good? That happened to me this morning. I woke up feeling agitated and triggered. I scanned my mind trying to figure out why. Was it that small thing I'm ignoring? A trip coming up? Or a difficult conversation I had a few days ago? None of them felt right. They didn't carry the weight of what I was feeling. And then it hit me. I knew what it was. It was the TV series I finished last night. My favorite character died.

1:01Granted, this was a Netflix series that I was bingeing on over a few weeks so I felt really connected to the characters. But I feel connected to the characters all the time. I often yell at the screen, don't go there! No! Can't you see? My husband sitting beside me will say, you know they're playing characters. You know they're okay. You know they go home at night and sleep after the recording finishes. Yes, I know all of that. And yet I still feel it in my body. You may talk to the TV screen too. You may yell at the screen. Yet here's the difference. When the movie or the TV show ends, it ends for you. You don't carry it with you into the next day or the day after. And that's what happened to me when I woke up this morning.

2:03But it wasn't obvious because it wasn't my emotions. I was carrying the emotional residue of what I watched. Does this ever happen to you? Or maybe you're on the other extreme and thinking, she's crazy. I have no idea what she's talking about. You would be more like my husband. Let me give you an example of how this plays out in real life. A few weeks ago I was sitting in the kitchen working on something. I felt even and regulated and excited for the day. And my husband came in to tell me something. He was fired up about something. It took two minutes. He left the kitchen cool as a cucumber. And I was left reeling. Agitated, triggered.

3:03Look what? I was fine three minutes ago. What is this? And because I know this work. I knew they weren't my emotions. But I still had to sit with them. I was still feeling it in my body. And here's the interesting thing. When we absorb other people's emotions, we may feel it more than they felt it. And that's why my husband could walk away and not have any residue. But my body amplified it. And so you might be thinking, oh my goodness. All that agitation I feel isn't mine. Yes, that's true. You might feel suddenly sad or fearful or angry or worried when everything is seemingly good. And you are absorbing others' emotions.

4:05So what can you do? First, recognize that when you feel suddenly emotional, they may not be your emotions. Two, limit what you take in if you can. I don't watch the news. It's too stimulating. I'll read the paper online news. But I limit how much I read. Because I know I'll absorb it. Three, seek to regulate your emotions. If you feel steady inside, you'll be less triggered. Four, if you're starting to feel triggered, see if you can step away or speak up. I'll now say to my husband, can you lower your energy? And he knows exactly what I mean. He's like, oh, oh, okay. And the funny thing is that anyone who knows him sees him as calm, cool, and collected. And I have high energy.

5:05You can hear that in my post. Five, know that you can do everything you need to. You can do all the practices to feel, even to feel regulated. And you may still absorb the other person's emotions. So then what? Don't resist it. Don't make yourself wrong. You're not doing anything wrong. It's just the way you're wired. So when you recognize emotions that aren't yours, allow yourself to feel it. So often we resist it. We don't want it. That's not ours. We don't like the way it feels. We can't, it feels like we can't get our arms around it. Yet, if we can breathe, maybe reach for a finger, inhale in, and exhale out.

6:11And trust that it will pass through you. You'll be okay. And if you'd like to learn more about this, I'll be diving deep into this in my monthly membership. This month is called process what you feel to heal. You can reach out to me via Instagram. I'll put my contact info in the show notes and just say, tell me more. Remember, our emotions are a gift. Yes, they can overwhelm us. But when we feel deeply, we also receive deeply. We see clues. We feel our intuition if we listen to it. But we can often see things under the surface that others may not pick up. Remember, you're so much stronger than you think you are. Thank you for spending this time with me and finding joy in the heart.

7:12And I have one ask. If you think this can help someone, I'd love for you to share it with them. If you're on an iPhone, tap the upper right corner. Three dots will come up. Tap those. It'll say share this episode. And then it'll give you choices. Give you via text, email, social media. You choose. If you have Spotify, I'm sorry. I can't tell you how. As always, thank you for spending your time with me at finding joy in the heart. I know you're very busy. I know your attention is pulled in many directions. And I thank you for taking the time to join me here. Be well.