Vault: You'll Never Guess Why This Listener Is Mad At Us

0:00The virtue. So yesterday, you remember we had virtual listener on dating this guy for like five years, but only had relations with him like 10 times. Right. He was in the military and they didn't live in the same town together, but they have been seeing each other for five years over the sixth and a period time. But only such a thing. But what maybe twice a year? Something like that. And each time they would get together and be intimate together, she would tell him, oh, baby, you are the best. Oh my god, so awesome. You like totally make me crazy, you know? And then she called us and confessed that she has never reached the big O with him, but she's been telling him all this time how hot he is and how much he turns her on and how she's just like over the top for him. Now, Jen's going to end of this. I remember her saying on that, but that's cool. We finally found a topic Jen's fashion. Yeah. She had a cheap, more excitement there than our listener. So other women were calling and saying they had the same problem.

1:04Well, it's not my fault. Brat, we talked to Brian first. Oh, okay. That's a guy in the mood. But we all told him he was good, didn't we? Didn't we all say, like, hey, good job, Brian. Way to get it done. Melissa, another lie today for me. Yes, I know. So other women were calling in yesterday saying, yeah, same problem with my man. I've been faking it. And I got as a sidebar. If you've been faking it, it's your problem. Now the problem is yours because he might have been bad in the beginning. You should have told him that or somehow figured it out. If you've been faking it all these years, if he's still giving you the same thing now as he was back then, it's your fault. Yeah. I agree. There's your response to what you want. If you're not being honest with your partner, then it's your fault. Right. And our advice yesterday was to say that she was getting older and her body was changing so her preferences were changing to get him to, you know, coach him along the way. How many guys in Atlanta heard that yesterday? It was there was some kind of count. Half the city. All of them. A lot of them. Honey, I'm a little older these days. My body's changing. My body's changing. You just had your 23rd birthday, too. We've got two weeks to go. I'm a different person.

2:04So, and we have said on the show before that at least some of the women in the room would estimate about two and 10 guys are really good in bed. Um, and statistics say that most women think about half guys are getting bed about 50 percent. So this dude was listening yesterday and he shoots off an email to us and I don't know what sugar we hit with him yesterday. I don't know if he just got out of a relationship. I don't know if he's not feeling appreciated, but prepare to take off. Oh, no. Uh, dear virtue, I'm so sick of women complaining about their men saying they don't do this well enough or that well enough and they don't make love the right way. Ladies, you want to improve the sex in your life. Take a look in the mirror. Oh boy. You may be the problem. That man you're criticizing for not being good in bed or spending enough quality time with you is out working hard and putting a roof over your head not to mention food on the table. So when he comes home, I dare women to try this.

3:08Number one, when he comes home and asks you how your day was, take a deep breath. And for once, don't start complaining and tell him about the terrible day you had and then bitch about this and that. Tell him your day was great. Tell him you appreciate everything he does for you. Tell him to sit down and watch what he wants on television and say that you don't want him to move. You'll get him anything he needs. We are so tired of coming home from a hard day of work and listening to you complain, how about being in a good mood for a change? If all women are sitting home waiting for you to come home from work, I don't know. I don't know. A whole lot of women don't work. Number two, either cook or call out for whatever his favorite meal is. Number three, most importantly, tell him you want to go to bed early. You have something special planned. Every guy has their absolute favorite thing to do in bed. And just for once, don't make him beg for it. Don't complain. Give him that one special thing.

4:11Whatever it is, like there is no tomorrow. If you want, I want to, I have to edit myself. You hold on. I just wanted to make sure that he really was saying what he's saying here. If he wants you to do it in the backyard or to dress up like a naughty school girl or whatever, do it. Number four, repeat one, two, and three a couple of times a week. That's all you need to do to radically improve your life and his. You won't need a marriage counselor. Your husband will give you everything you want. Just try it for a week or two and prepare to be amazed. Someone's not happy in their relationship. I would like to talk to him and get to the root of this. I think yeah, I so. I'll just stop because Megan agree. Oh, okay. Good morning. You are thankfully part of the birch. Melissa's favorite color. I agree. Collar of the day. You agree with what this guy said. Yeah, well, I'm married and I take care of my husband and he takes care of me. And if you're not happy in your relationship, then get out of it. I'm one of those people that

5:15don't like to hear you bitch about your problems. When you can clearly fix them. If your man is not doing what he's supposed to do, talk to him. The best thing in a relationship is communication. So if he's not doing something that you don't like, then talk to him. Tell him what he's not doing. And then that way you can, you guys can fix it together. I mean, I've had that talk with my husband when we were dating. There are things that I don't like and there are things that I do like. And now we're in a healthy, happy marriage. I mean, I agree with communication, absolutely, but that's not what his email said. Right. You know, he said you had it. Hey, I'm, no, okay, and I'm, I'm, I know what I forget. You said that he, this is in the 1950s, you know, women are not waiting at home, but I don't think he's saying that women should be waiting at home. I think it's just the fact that, you know, when you get home or when I get home, you know, don't, don't complain. And, you know, I'm not having another one in here.

6:16Make a plane all the time. So, you know, it's just things that you should do, what he say and you should do. And I agree with him. I disagree. Well, I think you should take care of your husband. And if you don't like it, then, you know, get out of the relationship or take care of your man or your wife or, you know, whatever relationship you're in. The 1950s come, it was a joke because his email did sound like when I get home from my hard day at work, don't approach me like with gin. I don't think I know a woman that's sitting at home waiting when their husband or partners come home. But I mean, but everything she's saying, I mean, I don't see anything wrong with what she's saying because she's saying mutually conversation, mutually taking care of, mutually making efforts. That's not what there's even that's not what his email saying. Well, he does say at the end of it, if you do all of this, then your husband will take care of you. I'd like him to expand upon what those things are. Rather than just paying the bills because you can buy a house and pay the bills and still not take care of your wife. This is the dude. What was that guy's name? It was on with us.

7:17What was that guy? Remember the guy? He wrote a book. This is what he was saying verbatim. Yeah. This is exactly his thought. But the problem we had with the listener was that he didn't know how to make her achieve the big O. You know, so in that what this all stemmed from. So his email, I mean, I get started with him complaining about women complaining about their men in bed. Yeah. Okay. What started that whole conversation was a woman who said, you know what? He does not know what to do in order to make me reach that point. And we blamed her for not communicating. Right. That was her fault. Hey, Lynn, you're part of the bird show. Hi. Hey, how are y'all? Good. Yeah. Hey, well, I was just going to call and comment that I see both sides of the situation because in my relationship, it's been about three years. And I don't know if y'all have read that book. It's called the love languages. Yep. Yeah, but everybody has a different love language. And for the first two years of our relationship, even though we were happy in the bedroom, it was just bored. It was just boring. You know, it wasn't like it was bad. It was just the same thing all the time. And I was like, what is wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Why aren't you

8:21into me? Why aren't you doing anything different? I would try the kissing. I would try everything in the world. And it wasn't until finally we bought that dang book. And did he read it? Yeah, I read all of it. People have different love languages. I realized that his love language quote unquote is visual. He's all about visual stimulation where I am more about emotional stimulation. So when I realize that I have to dress up or if I want to hit the tension to do something out of the norm, it's for him. It's visual. So I come walking down in a little outfit. I don't care if he's watching the, you know, super ball done. We're upstairs. Can you seem to have a little experience with this book? Do you endorse it? I think it's a great book if you both read it. Yeah. And I think I think that, I mean, it's funny and everything. But the problem in it is in a lot of relationships. And I see where a lot of women are hesitant is because sometime it is such your ego is so exposed when it comes to this conversation. You know, if you're not happy or he's not happy because it's not just men being bad, women could be bad too is that when you approach that conversation, you both have

9:25to be open to the conversation or you have the same fight over and over again because if everybody thinks I'm doing right and I'm doing right, then you're not going to get that that, I don't know, you're not going to be able to achieve what you want to achieve if you're not both open to realizing less stuff we've been doing and start over again. It is difficult to get out of that. Someone has to win and somebody has to lose mentality sometimes. You know, it's like we're all working on the same cause there and neither one of us are going anywhere. So we've got to figure this out. Well, and like what she was saying about the five love languages, it is really good to learn what, and I talk to my girlfriends about this all the time. It is really good to learn what your partner's languages are. Like are there guys that are other than the visual thing? What else can well, I'm not sure where she was coming up with the visual part. Maybe it's what they learned from reading that book, but there's five different languages. It's some quality time, acts of service, physical touch, words of encouragement or encouraging words, and giving gifts. And not necessarily big lavish expensive gifts, but when you give something to someone else,

10:26whether that is you like make them, you know, you buy them their favorite breakfast or something like that, giving gifts is the fifth one. And so, so usually they say in the book that people have like a majority of two things that they like to do to express it. So that's also how you receive it. But if your partner isn't the same way, they're expressing it to you in physical touch, right? But you're maybe not a physical touch person, you're an acts of service person, and they never do anything around the house. And so you're feeling unloved because they're not giving you your own love language back. So it's kind of, I don't know, and if you start to pay attention to that, you can learn what your partner's languages are, or you know, I mean, even your friends, like you can, you can figure out what their languages are. If it's somebody that's always getting you a little card or a little gift or this or that or whatever, that's one of their languages. So in some ways, you have to reciprocate in that, in that, in that, in their way, so that they read it in their way. So you learn to understand what they're doing rather than, right, expecting them to do what you do. And if it's like your wife is complaining because she doesn't see you enough, and we don't get, we don't get any time together. We never get a chance to hang out. You're always

11:29working, blah, blah. Well, her love language might be quality time. Like, it doesn't matter what you do together. She just wants one on one time with you. This guy would agree that her love language has to adjust to his love language. That's what the email sounds like. Yeah. She can't have her own. In the back yard. But it isn't really, it isn't really great. It isn't really great. When I read that, I'm like, does he really mean like the backyard? Or is he saying figuratively? He wants to do the back yard.