Vault: What Do You Do When a Friend's Kid Crosses the Line?

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1:01You'll always look and feel like the best version of yourself with Thrive Cosmetics. Plus, every product is 100% vegan, cruelty free and made with clean skin loving ingredients that work with your skin, not against it. And for every product purchased, Thrive Cosmetics donates to help communities thrive. So every time you use your favorite Thrive Cosmetics product, you're helping communities you care about too. Amplify your everyday, go to thrivecosmetics.com. Slash Shine 26 for an exclusive offer of 20% off your first order. That's Thrive Cosmetics. C-A-U-S-E-M-E-T-I-C-S.com. Slash Shine 26. The virtue. Hey, Sarah. Yeah. Hi, how are you? Good, how are you? Good. Sarah is calling on behalf of a male friend of hers who has found himself in a bit of a pickle. Don't use pickle in this. Okay. Fill us in on all the details and then we'll see if we can take some phone calls and get some help for you. Great. Go ahead.

2:01Hi. So I have a really close friend who doesn't want to come in the air, so I'm calling for him. He's 33. He has a friend who they've been friends for years. They're like super, super close. And this friend of his has a 17-year-old daughter. And I guess, you know, recently, like a week ago or something, he stops by the house for a visit. And, you know, he's hanging out with his friends. This daughter is around, and I guess they're all kind of just whatever chatting hanging out. Normal line. And then not too long after, he gets a text from her that says, it was really great to see you. And then, so he was like, oh, you know, and he texts her back. You know, something like, it was amazing to see you grow up.

3:01You know, we've grown so much. And she texts him back. You looked good. And then, he texted her back something after that. He didn't tell me exactly what it was. He said that it was like, it could have been taken as 40. Okay, let's make sure. So he's 33. How old is she? 17. She's 17 because he crossed the line texting her back. Completely. I'm curious how she even got the phone number. They would have been my text message unless that. When I asked about the phone number, I said, how did you give her your phone number? And he's like, no, I mean, I've been friends with this guy forever. He probably has got it from his phone. Yeah, no, he didn't give her the phone number, which makes me happy. But even if I got a text like that, like, I think the response would have to be something along lines of what's up or something, because if I got... Are you okay? Yeah, like if I got a text message from a child of a friend of mine,

4:02then I would assume that they're about to ask me for something. Maybe not necessarily wrong, but it wouldn't... Yeah, we take one text message before I was like, hey, wait a minute, this ain't cool. Right, well, so it gets even, it gets worse. Unfortunately, so I don't know what the last text he sent was, but, you know, after that, she sent him back a picture of her child in a bra, and she's like, got her lips all puckered. And... Oh, no. So he's kind of freaking out, and he doesn't want to tell his friend, but thinks maybe he should, but he's totally freaked out, because now he's sure that maybe some of this could have been taken as. Please tell me he didn't respond to that picture. He didn't respond to that picture. Wow. I think he has to talk to his friend about that. Yeah, that's true. I mean, because he... He has to talk to... If he talks to his friend, and here's our phone number 404-741-Q-100.

5:04If you've been in this situation, you're welcome to call us. But if you even have an opinion, we'll take it from all sides. But... Yeah, it would be great. The problem is... When he goes in to talk to his friend, he's going to have to say, look, I'm going to tell you something. And he has to admit right away that if any of his text messages can even look on the brink of flirty, he has to acknowledge, I made a mistake. Absolutely. And say, I didn't mean to do this. I was just trying to be nice. And this is what happened. And from a guy's point of view, it would probably alter the friendship forever. I think it's a real defining thing. What that kind of flirty text message said. Yeah, and I'm kind of not surprised that he didn't tell you exactly what that kind of flirty one said. He didn't tell her because it wasn't kind of flirty. It must have been really flirty. Really flirty? I mean... Or suggestive? Maybe. I mean, I know you're laughing, but this is serious, you know?

6:06No, it is, it is, it is. It's very serious. Because my point of view on this always is that if a child is under the age of 18, then all the responsibility is on the adult. Absolutely. Yeah. Because a teenager is going to try and do and just be, you know, whatever. Right. But when you were 33, you know better. And so he knew better than to even respond to it. And I don't know. He had, I think he has to tell her dad. And please, uh, plain, go ahead. Do you think their friendship could ever be the same? Depends on the nature. I mean, I don't see how, you know, but that's what's freaking him out of, you know, I'm sure there's a part of him that thinks that he can just get away with it and maybe he'll never find out. But then I don't know how you live with yourself, you know? It depends on what he said to her. It's what's going to define the friendship. Exactly. That's because that 1000% if his response is anything other than matter of fact, which it sounds like it was. Hey, Melissa. Yes.

7:07Do you have a valid question? What is it? I wanted to know why the, um, the girl's friend responded to the 17 year old. Did he have like a logical reason why he did? Yeah, why did he even write back at all? When I was asking him, he just said like, you know, he was a little bit like when he first got the text, he was a little bit like, huh, but just thought like, well, whatever, we've been friends forever. We're, it's like family, you know, I think is what his sort of initial was. What, yeah, I was great to see you. You've grown up, you know, like he thought that that wasn't such a big deal. But you don't flirt with family. So if the first text message was fine, then so be it. But continue the conversation. Yeah. I mean, I, yeah, I don't, I don't believe it was innocent on his part. Hey, Michael. Welcome to the show. Hey, hey. You got to show. Thanks. You made it. You made it. Just want to be different. I was like, he was trying to say we paid attention. I thought, well, at least he's honest. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. To pay attention to the colors. I've called him before and said the same thing because I hate everybody's like,

8:07love you guys. You got to be different. Yeah. Hey, Michael, you got some thoughts on this? Yeah, I mean, first of all, I don't think we need to blow out a proportion yet. I mean, it's not like they had sex. Okay, um, I don't have the same situation. But I've got a friend that I've been friends with in high school. And, um, we are 34 years old now. And his daughter takes messages me sometimes because we live out of state now. And nothing more other than to say, hey, but I mean, there's a big age difference there. She's like 12. So it's not anything like that. You know, she asked how my boys are because my boys aren't the same age as her. And they grew up and went to school together and all. So that's really all that's about. Um, but now this guy here, he doesn't need, he needs to go talk to the girl at the daughter and just tell her, hey, look, you know, if I come across flirting with you, I apologize, I shouldn't have. I don't think they do that first. I really disagree with you. That's because that's such a dangerous ground for him. And she's not 33.

9:08She's not this reasonable 33-year-old. So if he, you know, she needs to approach her first. Because if she automatically throws her under the bus, what's going to happen? She's going to go to her dad and say, well, I've seen that because he was flirting with me. When you're not around, he's always flirting with me. But don't you understand that every time he's over his dollar? If she is, if she is sending him pictures of her and her underwear, then every contact he makes to her is going to be assigned to her that he's into her. So if he comes to her and says, well, you know what, we need to keep this on the wall. Your father doesn't need to know this. That is going to be to her. That's going to prove to her that he cannot communicate in that way. I understand. And that to her is going to reiterate the fact that he's nervous about it. So there must be something underneath there. So he must be attracted to her. I'm telling you, from a 17-year-old girl's mind, that's what she's going to think. Absolutely. Now, let me ask you this question. Staying that 17-year-old girl's mind is wrong. Right. What if he just never responds again?

10:09And he just, like she sent that picture. He can never respond to her again. Right. I'm saying he don't need to stop the phone. Don't say anything to the dad. Never obviously be alone with the daughter. And if she sends another one, then take it to her dad. But as of right now, what if he just ignores it? No. Is there, can you see anything wrong with that? Because she might still, she may still send the text messages no matter what, because then she's going to hurt her response. It depends on what he said to her. What that text was, or like Jen said, that defines everything, because she still has that in her phone. Hey, Eva, or Eva, or Eva, what's up? What's going on? Well, I wanted to comment on this guy. Go ahead. He needs to go to his friend and say, I was egotistical and self-absorbed, and I put myself before our friendship and your daughter. This man knew that the first text was wrong. He knew it. I mean, that's just so stupid. It's so inappropriate. He knew that. Unless he gave her, unless she had a business reason like to have his phone number,

11:14he should have known immediately, because if she went and scanned the phone number out of you know, dad's phone or something like that. Yeah, he should have known. And that right there is where he should have turned to his friend and said, Hey, your daughter texted me. And then it's over. I wonder if he's flattered by it. If you like did it first, and then obviously he did. Flattered. If you're flirted with flirted with, is that a word flirted? Yeah, I guess. If you get flirted with by a 17 year old or a 77. And we all remember when we're teenage girls, that we think that it's powerful to break down at older person's defenses, right? She will, you know, so I think that the whole idea of reasoning with her is out the door because, you know, she's got her eye set on him by sending those pictures. So I really think that his communication with her needs to stop. Absolutely stop. And the problem is going to be I'm sure before when everybody was just friends, like if if daughter, dad, and friend were all in the house together.

12:14And dad said, Hey, let me run out to the garage for a minute. And everybody's sitting in the kitchen, like he's going to have to find a way to never be alone with her at all. Because if this ever does come out, then you know, he's going to think back like, Oh, wait a minute. What about that time where I ran to the store and left them at the house alone? Or when he came over and and I was late home from work and all those things? Oh, are you going to talk to, yeah, I assume you're going to relay this conversation back to him or he's listening? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I know he knows he knew I was calling. He didn't want to come on the air. After you talk to him and get his feedback, will you talk again to Tracy and let her know if there's any reason that we should follow up with this on Monday morning? Can the update? Totally. I want to know what that other tech said too. Again, if he's listening seriously, that change that will that will determine the whole thing depending on what you said to her. Yeah, all right, Sarah. Thank you. And thanks to your friend for bringing your troubles to the virtue.

13:15Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it. Your craziness is our ratings. So we appreciate that. Thanks for having a good day. Thanks. The virtue. The sun shining, birds are singing and all feels right in the world. Until the season changes and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed. In fact, one in five people experience some form of depression no matter the season or time of year. At the American Psychiatric Association Foundation, our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all. Because we want you to live your best life and be your best you all year round. Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more.