Vault: She's over-planning her wedding

0:00Get it the bird show. Alright, let's bring producer Joanne in here for just a second. Producer Joanne now has been planning her wedding for how long? Since... since February. Since February? Like four months? I wish we could somehow reverse the show to February and take us back to that day where you came in and how excited you were about being engaged and you couldn't wait to go through the whole process of planning a wedding and how this was going to be a beautiful magical day because today it's going to be a little bit different. Like you've seen the slowly deteriorating excitement of the progression. Yes, like yeah. If you could do like a timeline and how like my face gets sadder and sadder. Oh, perfect. Exhaustion? It's... She just cold. I don't know what it is. You know, I don't know what it is. I'm still excited about marrying Jason, but I'm not really excited about the whole planning thing. Is this... here's a question I ask here.

1:01877-588-Bert-B-E-R-T-877-588-2378. Like is this pretty common to where at some point or another in your wedding plans, you just start losing interest in the whole thing. Like maybe the bubble has sort of been burst that... Remember, this is Joanne's first wedding. So she... this is all got to be perfect because this is in. The rest of the life doesn't matter. It's about this day. And is it pretty common that you just sort of get fatigued in all of the planning and small details and having to play Kate to everybody? I want to ask Joanne, what was the first thing I told you when you got engaged and you were setting the date? That I would... That it was too far away and that I was going to get exhausted with the planning. Because it is very far away. Because Joanne got engaged in the winter in February and she wants a springtime wedding. So I totally get that. I just want to get married in the season that they want to get married in. I totally get that. But that means it's over a year of an engagement.

2:04And it just gets sort of like this lull in the meantime and then you're just kind of ready to get there. Because at first you're so excited and you're making all these big plans and then there's really not a whole lot to do for a long time until the very end. And then it'll get busy in the months before you actually get married but that lull time in between you sort of feel like you're stuck in limbo. And I think it's also because you and Jason are going to be living together until you get married. So you're just like ready for your life to start but you've got this long engagement still ahead of you that's just frustrating. But it's all the other little details. It's like what are your wedding colors going to be? I'm like I don't know. What kind of flowers do you want? I don't know. Well what are the bridesmaids dresses going to look like? I don't care. Like I mean honestly I don't care. At one point did you care about all that stuff? No. I don't think I did. And then I'm kind of like being bombarded by my bridesmaids because I've got nine of them and I should have probably only had two because all night of them keep asking me like when we can go look for bridesmaids dresses. I'm like we have like over a year. I don't know.

3:04As a general rule are the bridesmaids more excited about the wedding than the bride or at least in your case. Well in my case they are. They keep asking me so much. Because they have the opportunity to be a part of Joanna's world and anybody in the way Joanna of course they're excited. I'm Joanna. Here's Amanda. Good morning. You're on the birch show. Hi. Good morning. Hey Joanna. I just wanted to say I am right where you are. I am so tired of cleaning but then I start feeling bad because I get this great day and I'm like why am I complaining but still it's like you just want to be married by now you know. Yes. Yes. I'm like well you know we have a checklist you know we need to start going down the checklist we need to start sending out say the dates and I'm like well then you do it because I don't want to become a bridezilla. We've talked to women that have dudes that are brides ill. Yeah. Yeah. Katie Perry. Katie Perry. Right. Here is Heidi. Good morning. You're on the birch show. Hi. Good morning Joanna. Like the other colors.

4:05I do definitely not alone. I'm getting married in October and if I could reset the clock I would alope completely 100% alope and just get it over with. Have you considered moving your data to make a plan? No it's too late at this point because we've already put all the deposits and stuff down and there's just no way to make it happen sooner but I think our situation is also different because we just have like a craft and we just like every bad thing that could happen did but I am at October 7th can't get here with student off I'm totally ready for it to be here and be everywhere then be sitting on the beach with the drink in my hand. You want to take Wendy's suggestion and move that thing up? Well I'm with the caller I can't because I have a lot of family that I need to move in and I need that time to save up to fly my family in from South America which is why another reason why it was so far away is because we're paying for the wedding ourselves we need this time to save put away money to fly everybody into the wedding. What are women going to get it? I mean I think guys got the message for you guys now.

5:06I mean because I hear conflicting messages okay the conflicting messages this is the most important beautiful day of my life it has to be perfect but then the reality of it is I hear way more potential or future brides complaining about the wedding than I do saying that they're actually enjoying the whole process. It's all for a well-emang there's a lot to do and sometimes you know with anyone when you get do you guys ever do this in even if it's whatever to do list it is whether it's a work to do list or a home renovation project to do list or whatever it is that you've got if you feel so overwhelmed you're almost like paralyzed you can't do anything like I'm just gonna sit on the couch you watch reruns of keeping up with the Kardashians. It's the worst. Can't get anything done because there's too much to do. You know I feel like that was like you know you know piles of to-do lists that stack up at home or whatever it's the same thing with planning your wedding you're like it can be just really really overwhelming and you can kind of feel paralysis in amongst that to-do list. Here's Emily good morning you're on the birch show.

6:07Yeah so I was gonna tell Jordan to do not alope it is not worth it and yes it's stressful but the truth is it's your one wedding hopefully and you want to make the best of it and as a stressful as it is just piece it out you know one thing at a time let's just the aunts say help out with it. I went to the phase where I like made my fiance do everything and kind of you know checked out for a little bit and then I take back in and he checked out so just try to enjoy it but don't allow because this is your one wedding. Is it possible to even do that like break it up like you say okay Jason you got the next four weeks man here's what you need to cover. I think so if I give him a list I he's really good at crossing off things off the list but it also doesn't help that I'm really bad at being really excited about a project and then giving up halfway through it so that doesn't help either with this is a pattern of behavior for you. Yeah really bad. I think I'm hitting that all right I'm giving up on this but I can't you have to finish like this is something you have to finish. I know you don't look why do you have to finish it like why can't there be center pieces

7:08on the table but no little novelty little things of M&M's with your initials on them you don't need those details paper plates paper plates are fine tablecloths not. It's over where nobody would judge that. No. No matter what they think is about. Yeah this is Joanna's day. Leslie good morning you are on the birch. Good morning I was just wanted to tell Joanna I try to do one thing a week I'm actually having two weddings. I'm an older bride and this is my first wedding I'm 40 years old and I'm having we're having a beach wedding in September just very small intimate but then my parents are elderly and my father cries because he is only daughter and he cried when he thought kind of he wasn't going to be able to get me wife. So now we're having a whole huge thing here a month later and you don't realize when you're planning a wedding how much it just snowballed out of control so I was just going

8:11to tell Joanna just take a deep breath and I just try to do one thing a week and having the support of your fiance and friends really help too. Let's talk to one virtual listener that actually pushed the wedding back because she was feeling the same way you are she's like screw it let's just move it back. You don't need to move it back. Yeah right. Maybe she moved it up. Maybe she moved it up. Nicole good morning you're on the birch. Hi hi good morning. I actually planned for my wedding to be on October 10th of 2010 but I put everything off because it's like you know it's okay I can get a vendor. I can get a venue and it'll be fine but then I realized I have less than 80 days. I can get everything done. I actually had to push the date back because I got too overwhelmed with the check list and now I'm being bombarded with everything. Is that right? I don't even have a dress. You're like oh you're damned if you do you're damned if you don't. Well I said I mean everybody says it's about just about the two of you and everything

9:12but a wedding is really a performance. I mean you're there performing for a crowd of people is the truth and that's why it's overwhelming because all the details have to be planned and set and done. I do think that the way that like for instance my parents there wedding photos got destroyed in a flood unfortunately so I never got to see them. But like Katie goes to her parents wedding album and stuff so if you think about one little motivating factor if you plan to have a family sometimes it's cool for the kids to be able to see the wedding photo. You know what I mean so that might be something you're like okay you know what I'm doing this for the future. You're on the birch.