Vault: How Can She Kick Out Her Roommate In Four Days?

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1:00Get it. The virtue. Hey, is it Andrea? Andrea? Andrea? Andrea. Andrea. Andrea. Andrea. Andrea. Andrea. Hello, Andrea. Andrea. I am no Andrea. I am Andrea. It's a fake name so it doesn't matter anyways. How are you? I'm great. How are you? Can you speak up nice and loud for us? Sure. Can you hear me? Okay. We can. Tracy. I don't think it needs to be voiced, does it? No, it's not. Okay. Okay. Hi. Hi. So, Tracy is very excited because you have given her an idea for the show and it has good. It sounds good. It's called Operation Eviction. Yeah. That's about right. Tell me. Please tell us all about it. Yeah. Okay.

2:49I was thinking about it. Yeah, I thought it was something out with my boyfriend. And I thought it was what I was thinking about getting a rat and putting in her room and making her think when she's invested or like I don't know getting spider. I was thinking about it. And I was thinking about saying like something goes down and making her think you are haunted. Oh, yeah. Actually, you might like that though. It was pretty broad. That might work against you. I don't even know where to begin on this like. like ant infestation. But if you do any of that, then you're gonna have to deal with it, like. And I also, I don't wanna get in trouble. Like, I don't want, you know, I don't want the landlord to know, you know, if I put her right there, can I get in trouble? I mean, is there like a cause and a lease? I don't know. Well, they have a pet's issue because you can just say your pet rat. Oh, yeah. Yeah, do you have pets? No. Is she like animals? I don't think so. Then get one. No, that's true. You know, I don't know. Like, I'm trying to think of what would make me say,

3:49it's such the last minute I am out of here. Could you borrow someone's big, slobbery dog for like a week? I'd probably say, yeah. And say you were adopting him? Mm. It might take longer than a week for her to get sick of that, though. Why don't you just start borrowing her stuff without telling her? But I mean, three days is. Oh, that, yeah. Three days is what's gonna make it tough. Hey, Mag, welcome to the show. Hey, I would just call in to let her know that she should probably give me her, or let her boyfriend move in anyway. And her roommate will be so disgusted that she'll just like have to leave. Or, you know, just be making out in the middle of the kitchen and she'll just want to leave. Just her show up one day and then y'all are back and down on the couch and then too, and said, oh, by the way, he just moved in his stuff, you know, don't, you know, let us know if anything gets near way or something. Yeah, because if it happened to her, I'm sure she'd do the same thing I want to get out. That's true. It's got, and it's good idea. Is with your boyfriend, Andrea, would your boyfriend have any problem being extra like guy disgusting?

4:53No, I think he would, I think he would excel at being guy disgusting. I mean, like if you have him come over today for lunch in all the crap dishes are all over the sink. If he's half eaten sandwich sitting somewhere, if he's hanging out in his underwear, like three days, I don't, I quite honestly, I don't think you're gonna do it in three days. I don't think that's really fair to your roommate either to give her three days to find a new place to live. Yeah, it's too short. Yeah. Hey Nicole. Okay. This happened to me, but I was the victim of over-text roommates who were just all in my space constantly, and I ended up moving out because I couldn't get rid of them. But at any common areas they have, they need to have sex all over the kitchen, all over the living room, the bathroom, whatever he needs to eat all the food, burp, fart, leave his underwear all over the place, be as a noxious and irresponsible and disrespectful possible. And you can't underestimate mangas. So if he can conjure up a few. Or wanting to go to the bathroom and they're having sex on the toilet, I really like that. Oh, yeah. Gross.

5:53That makes me one of them bad at this day. I was thinking he also should go shave on her sink and leave like the little man hairs everywhere. Oh, that's nasty. So we've got burp, burp, fart, sex, and hair. Yeah, so far. Hey, I'm making a list. Hey Stacy. I totally have an idea. Is your roommate straight? Yeah, he is, yeah. I come on to her. Tell her that why you haven't been able to get along is because you're feeling full-cut and that will totally make her out. Oh, I think I'm falling in love with you. What? Yeah. I have feelings for you, Mike. Yeah. The problem is Andrea, how old are you guys? 27. OK, so she's probably passed that collegiate by Curia's age stage. 27, yeah. You're back in your corners. Right. So should I hit a nurse? I sleep with my boyfriend. Maybe I'll ask her to sleep with me and my boyfriend. Oh, yeah. That's another angle. Hey, Sarah. Hey, what's going on? I was thinking that she could get those apartment guide

6:55books and leave them around the apartment in different places. And then when the roommate asked a question about why they were there, then she can say, oh, I'm going to move out. So then the roommate will leave and she can have the apartment for herself. I have to tell you, I am a little excited and proud of our listeners who have overwhelming. I haven't even given out the phone number yet. And the phone lines are literally like, oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I did. Oh, yeah, get that beyond out of there. Here's what you got to do. One, two, three, hair, sex, farts, do it all. And now here's a guy with an opinion. Hey, Brian. Hey, this is easy. OK. Well, she has to do with put plastic over the whole living room, like seven candles and put them in a circle, be sitting inside the circle with a bloody animal. Oh, red rum on all the, all the, all the, what? Perfect. That's a little dramatic. Yeah, let me find a dead animal. That's disgusting. But that is funny, but just to be able to sit in the floor with the circle of candles, me and the middle of them, doing something like, what are you doing?

7:56Hey, Brian, Brian, this is a really weird house. It always gets rid of roommates. Cool. Hey, Brian, hold on a second. Sean wants to take you to dinner. I think, this is fun. Hey, Andy. Hey, how you doing? Which idea? Yeah, hey, I'm 47. How about her sex crazed uncle moved in for a while? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, baby. Just a little bit of warmth is all I want. If you want to play the uncle back, yeah, if you decided to be the uncle. Hey, why? Why did it get all weird right after I complimented our listeners? Wow, everybody stepped up and then dudes like that. Let me add her. I'm going to bring a dead animal over. I'm going to bring a dead animal over. Say, Andrea, I think you've got some good input, valuable input. What I don't think is you're going to make it happen by this weekend. Mom's really going to try. I think what is, why is there a deadline of Saturday?

8:58My boyfriend's Lisa's that, and I want him to know that he can move in before he renews it. Well, will he move in if she's in there or is that like a condition of like he doesn't want to be around her? Well, maybe he'll just do that, but the bottom is we don't we want her out of the picture completely if you're horrible. Why don't you just move in with him? His Lisa. It's a really great apartment. Hey, Stacy. Yes. What's your comment? I wanted to tell her that she should put baby powder on her friend's fan, so when she turns the fan on like poops. And then put Vaseline on the toilet seat. So when she goes to sit down, she falls. Oh, like all of a sudden she becomes a practical joke and then shortsheet or bed. And then when she does fix that and fall asleep, dip her hand in warm water. And then it is gasoline on the toilet, but the sarane ramp over the bed. It's a piece out of something.

9:59Freezer bra. Hey, Andy, this actually could be the best idea yet. Hi. Hi, Andrea. Go ahead. Has your roommate met your actual landlord? No. OK, here's what you do. You get some like I can't believe he's not my landlord to come up and say that you guys need to be out by Friday or make up some, throw out some big words or something unless your roommate understands big words. Say that you guys have to be out and then you actually don't move out, but have your roommate move out and then have your boyfriend move in. And if I Saturday, good to go. Done. Got the plan ready. Oh, this is awesome. I like it. I hate our emotions. We're like pointing and letting you know. And why do I feel like this is the plot of some Paul Red, Sean Williams got movie? And I love the fact that you have to throw out big words. Like, hey, you know, we're in a situation with the kerfuffle. So you're going to have to go ahead and relocate yourself somewhere else. All right. This would be the last one, seriously.

11:00Hey, Sarah. Hello. What's up? Hey. OK, if she wants to get the boyfriend over to the apartment, acting as thick as a dog, medicine's everywhere. And tall the roommate, he's got highly contagious mono. And she's going to be taking care of him because everyone knows mono can last up to three months. That's good. That's a good one. That is solid. And Taylor, I mean, she'll be out of them. I mean, who wants mono if they're in school, whatever? You don't want it. It makes you sick for months. I actually want mono. Me and large is all that good stuff. When I was a kid, my friend Jason got mono. And he was at a school for 30 days. And I wanted mono for that reason. Because I thought it was fun. I imagine him and his house having a great time. I had mono in high school. The problem is, when you're out that long, they send tutors over to the house to teach you. Oh, lame. Yeah. Hey, Andrea, we're going to check in with you. Well, after the weekend, we'll find out if you're managed. If Operation Eviction, or is Tracy renamed it, how to lose a roommate in four days. His work, OK? OK, thank you so much.

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