THERAPY THURSDAY: long-necked birds attacking people

0:00The Breakfast Club podcast. Welcome everybody, I bet you're dying to know what town hall we're in. Yes please. Today we're in the Tiano town hall. Ah it's extra cold here today, I didn't bring enough layers. Yeah that's because you just got off the Kepler track. Yes, how'd you know? Yeah. My dad's got a bat suit in Tiano, a dusky street. Well good, you should be coming to therapy and not laughing today then. That's just a weird crap up but I'll probably get that one day. Can you check it? Can you check it? Okay. Should we make it a time-share? Welcome to Therapy Thursday where today we're honing in on attacks by birds but not just any birds of the long-necked variety. So we're talking variants of swarms and geese. Thank you so much, I don't think we've ever had a response quite so large. Would you agree with how many ticks misses? Yes, you're actually right. Terrifying news. Would you like to start? Simon, do you have one or would you like me to start? No, I think you start.

1:00Okay, I probably can reserve. I haven't been attacked by that nearly long niece. Long, long one. Long niece. Sorry. Okay. Do you have a niece who can place the silver birds or something? Long niece, yeah. When I said that it came out wrong but your face is absolutely gorgeous. You've done that, you do that to me all the time. It's like you look at me within credulity in your eyes like what the hell is Simon on again? Yeah, I thought is he buffering or is that me? Long niece. Yeah, that reminds me of that ad that I'm sorry, he's like diversion here. Ah. Do you remember that ad for all brand? Tall Jan is malicious. And she was like this super tall woman. Maybe give him the look, Lanna. It's pretty. Tall Jan is malicious. We have paid for this haul per hour. And if we go over to the second hour, we're going to be in trouble. I also haven't been attacked by a goose. Ah, fine. It's just me and the people. I'm leaving the hall. It's me and the people. Man, you guys really love, I've listened to this show. So hi everyone, I'm Lanna.

2:02Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep it moving. So there's this particular, there's a particular park where I go running and I hadn't been for a while because obviously I haven't been out of run with my league and I tried to go for a small truck the other day around it and there she was. I came around the corner and there is Barbara. Simon's niece. Simon's niece with a long neck. And she's the same one that used to always attack me and I thought maybe she won't recognize me now now that I've had a leg that's broken and come back together. And I was like, what past her? She opened a little red gob and made the most alarming noise. And I thought that it was like a husband, it had a bit of a squawk in it like a, ah, like that. And I thought, shh, and then she's, I thought, shh, did I say the T? And so she just starts chasing me and there is nothing scarier as an adult than this long neck

3:04bird chasing you and nipping you at the back of the knees and you don't know when she's going to give up. Yep, hercing away, yep. But the park itself, I'll tell you what it's called now if there's anyone in that area watch out the Travis wetlands. Oh, right away. You are absolutely right, that's legitimate. Much like Western Springs, there's a lot of long necked birds there. Yeah, you're actually down right at, you're right and that at Willowbanger is the same. Have you been to Willowbanger? Ah, yep. And you actually have to run through this gaggle of geese, you have to run through them. Because if they smell, I have they smell fear, fear, fear or food, then you've, then you've, then you've, then you've, then you've started to hear something. If you've been to Haltia Lagoon in Wellington, that was made for Fleth the fair there. And they will chase you. No jokes, the tech's machine is absolutely going to be listed here with people that are tacked by geese long necked birds. Long necked birds, they're going to. Swans are acceptable too.

4:04Actually, even maybe even a turkey would buy a definition, have a slightly longer neck than a domesticated bird. Yeah, it's longer than a budgie. Now, who should I go to first, love it as well? Let's go to Misty. Misty is standing by and my newでは, a story about Misty's son, Hi Misty, welcome to Therapy Thursday. Hi, thank you. Yes, of course, the floor is yours. Good morning. Just please introduce yourself to the group Misty and then far away. Well, my name's Misty and I have a son who fed for his life a little bit and was a little bit traumatised. Oh, yeah. What happened, Misty? Misty? Oh, God. Misty, Misty. It got her! It got her! Misty! It got her! It's the only answer. It's Misty. Misty, have you mused yourself with your cheek? Misty's like, like, like, like, like,

5:06trip, trip, trip, trip. No, she's been eating. What's her shame? She's having a radio before. Dr. Therapy. Andy, watch your back, mate. Hi Andy. Good morning guys. Well, we had two keys on the farm near Ashburton, yes, Simon, the area of the world. But these are the most horrible birds that you've ever come across. A chock will go up and down a fence all day and it'll figure out that it can fly over at a turkey, so stupid, or stay there a week. That thing used to chase me all the time and one day I ran inside and we had one of those gates that had a mecanism on it and I slammed it so hard that all I could hear was, and I looked back and it's neck was hanging, but it was so big that my mother made me pluck it and then we cut it in half and we had to try and eat it. Oh my god, that's so sweet. So the vengeance sweaked all I'm going to say. They really had a way of teaching you lessons in Ashburton.

6:06Nothing like a bit of trauma, Lanna, trust me. Remind us never to come to your farm and walk up and down the fence Andy. Exactly. But you are great and a great storyteller, mate. Don't forget to check the room next door, make sure Misty's okay. Oh yeah. Misty, you've got a room number two. Yeah, where if you are? Poor Misty. Disappeared. Casey says, hi, Simon and Lanna, I got attacked by a pelican. When I went to Australia, it was on my ice cream, which I dropped in terror. Surely, yeah, you would. You'd just surrender your ice cream. You'd just drop it. Like, most blooming bin chickens over there. What's a bin chicken? Oh my god. That's our next trip after this current one. You taking on bin chickens. What's a bin chicken? Well, you find them mostly in Queensland. I don't think it might be in some of their further south. They are the most heinous bird and they hang around like dream world and movie world by the rubbish bins and just any rubbish bin and they are ugly looking creatures. So they're like sea gods? Ah, much bigger.

7:06Anyment be laughed. Bin chicken, first Simon. No thanks. Oh god. Chapers Misty's just been devoured by a bird we never heard from her again. That's right.