The Doctor Is In - March 4, 2026

0:00Are all people mentally ill? I have no idea. Is this the doctor's race? I don't know. Boy, you hit the nail right on the head there. Now why would I say something so dumb? I don't know. I don't remember what I said. Help me out. I listen to you all the time. You're my shot in the arm. Well, it makes sense from your perspective and your individual brain. And I guess that's true, the dog home. Why are you better than God? No way. I think I'm going to have to change this channel. I'm sorry. Oh, no! Great stuff, Dr. Ray at Flat I Call. Now, from the studios of Living Bread Radio Network in Canton, Ohio, the hometown of Mother Angelica, here's Dr. Ray. I'm doing a little calculating. I noticed that the pros and cons on those bumper drops are about 50-50.

1:0050% are happy. They called 50% are saying, no, you didn't help me. Of course, it depends what measuring stick you use. If I were a pro baseball player, and it used to be if I batted 300 by being a hall of fame, well, now if I'm battin' 265, I got a $25 million of your contract. So it depends where you compare yourself. But I've been noticing that Andrew about half of them are celebratory toward me and about the other half are saying, I'm not calling you again. I don't know. I don't know. I'm liking to think that you just kind of had to go to other programs and get those negative ones. I'm Dr. Ray Garendi. Program here, Dr. is in. Number to call if you'd like to be in as in, as in cool. 877-5737-37825. My producer, man Andrew Kuchek, is also doing the call screaming today. He's watching the boards, he's doing it all.

2:02There it is, Maria Radio Network, who is cooperating with EWGN Global Catholic Radio Network to produce this program. 877-57Equal, that is the number to call. I want to do it just a bunch of announcements before I get into the man-a-log. By the way, why would you want to call? Situations in your life, perspectives, I'm a psychologist, that's what I do for a living, is at the office this morning, a bit the office this afternoon, but in between, I'm with you. And I'm not going to do professional psychology here, can't do that, but I can educate, give some ideas and thoughts, ponder your situation and throw out a few options for you to consider. I want to congratulate, let's see who we got. I should have done this yesterday, but I didn't do it and they're a big group here. KSGSFM99.9, serving Rio Grande City, Texas, 15 years on the network. Congratulations, Rale Smith and his team

3:03at Good News, Catholic Radio. And then, got another one. Radio partner needs to hear from you next week. Sulaand, Catholic Radio, serving Sue City and Storm Lake, Iowa. They got their spring drive coming up on Tuesday, so support them. I want to thank Queen of Heaven last night for a very, very nice turnout on the logic of being Catholic talk. Thank you so very, very much. Answering a question I got, Dr. A, you are into physical fitness. Do you jog to stay fit? I've been jogging, jogging, jogging, little for radio and slip there. I have been jogging for, oh, I'd say the last three years. Every morning, I get up and I jog five times around the block. And when I'm done, I take the block and I put it back in my grandson's toy box. So there you have it. I do jog to stay fit, 877-573.

4:0578-25 is the number to call. I would very much like to hear from you situation regarding a kid, a grown-up, an elderly, a job, an emotion, something that perplexes you about psychology in general, in elect in general, diagnoses in general, faith intersection with the psyche in general, whatever. And if you have a comment to help a previous caller, that is always welcome. You get extra credit for that. A few days off in purgatory, maybe locked off. 877-577 equal. That is the number to call. I'm going to give you a dirty communication trick. This is something you can do when you get into an argument with somebody. And you want to add some oomph to your argument. Here's how you do it. When you're trying to make your point,

5:06let's say, for example, your spouse hasn't really called like he or she should have when they're going to be late. And this has been a pattern in the relationship. And it's caused inconvenience for you. So you get into an argument and your spouse defends him or herself and says, well, you know, that's just not me all the time and you're the only one that seems to be bothered by that. And here's when you get them. Ah, I'm the only one who seems to be bothered. I'm not the only one who thinks this. Your brother has come to me a couple of times. He said, how do you put up with that? See, see what I'm doing? I'm citing witnesses. People who I cite as agreeing with me. Now, whether they do or whether they don't, I can bring them up as my character witnesses against you. See, this isn't just you and me going back and forth.

6:06I got people who think like I do about your shortcomings. Yeah. And the more I can cite the better. Hey, your brother's not the only one either. Your mother, your mother told me, when we first got married, how, you know, you're going to have to realize you're going to have to put up with that because he just sometimes just doesn't show up when he's supposed to show up. And that's been a problem. Ever since he was a teenager, it's been a problem. See, your mother, your mother pointed that out to me too. Now, the problem with doing that is, first of all, I don't suspect that the people you cite as witnesses want to be witnesses. They probably wouldn't like you pulling them into your argument. That's the first thing. Second thing is, what did you do to their relationship with your arguee? In other words, they didn't know that these other people

7:07think like that. You said they think like that. You said they were critical of him or her. I hate doing that. Him or her, him or her. Just say him. But what happens is, perhaps you will resolve this discord but they're left out hanging. Because now, you have said this is what they think of you. And they can't defend themselves because they didn't even know they were cited. All they know is that perhaps your spouse, if that's who it is, is a little cooler toward them now. Because he found out they were kind of criticizing him behind his back. Ooh, you see what you did? You get into an argument and you're trying to make your case. Make your case. Don't cite witnesses who may not want to be cited

8:10and who you may hurt the relationship with the person you're arguing with for them. It's a dirty communication trick. I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Let me name some other people who do. Just to show you, your position isn't as strong as you think. You're not just arguing against me. You're arguing against a whole bunch of other people. And I could cite more too. Ooh, that's dirty fighting. Do your best to avoid that. Well, I gotta take a break. Dr. Ray. Do you own popular index mutual funds or ETFs? If so, you're automatically own shares of companies that conflict with your moral beliefs. Avon Maria Mutual Funds are managed to conform to pro-life and pro-family values. Long-term investors can invest in the no-load Avon Maria Mutual Funds. The experienced professional portfolio managers

9:11make decisions based on investment fundamentals and pro-life values. You can learn more about Avon Maria Mutual Funds today at 866-avon Maria or visit Avon Maria Funds.com. Your best leadership style is it copied, it's cultivated. Your natural talents are the foundation that enables you to lead with clarity of ethnicity and purpose. Strategic thinking is one of the four clifton strengths domains. These talents help leaders absorb information, anticipate challenges and make smart decisions. They are trust builders, analytical leaders clarify complexity, context leaders honor the past to guide the future. Futuristic leaders inspire with vision, ideation, sparks, innovation, input gathers resources, intellectual deepens, dialogue, learner models, growth, and strategic. They cut through the clutter and chart the course forward. When you embrace these strengths, you create a Christ-centered culture of insight, foresight, and trust. Great leadership starts with knowing your strengths. This has been a Christ-intercommunication message

10:13I'm Vanessa Dan Hagarmau, a communications evangelist and host of Epiphany. Step away from the noise and return to what truly matters at Maryville Retreat Center in Holley. From retreats for Mary couples and those discerning their vocation to directed silent retreats and evening prayer services, even exploring scripture to art. Maryville offers sacred space to rest, pray, and renew your spirit individually or as a family. Visit their website at at Maryville RetreatCenter.org, or call 248-634-5566. In fact, I rated you ever play chess against a computer. I did. The computer crushed me in chess,

11:13but I crushed it in kickboxing. You got to know what competition to choose. Now, I'm really reluctant to take Glenn's call here, because a lot of people for Lent give up beer or any kind of alcohol wine, anything like that. And I did, but I don't drink much. I mean, I maybe I'll have a small glass of wine once every two months or something, but she's calling from Champagne, and I don't know if that would count as me breaking my Latin. Fast regarding that. Hi, Glenn. Hi, Ray. Dr. Ray. Ray's perfectly fine, my dear. Okay. Tell me what's going on with your elderly friend. Well, she has an adult son, living with her, her husband had passed away in the past couple of years.

12:14But we're concerned because the son does not work. He doesn't go out of the house. He's pretty much a record. And since my friend is getting older and has health issues, I'm worried about her son. And you know, what's never become of him. How old is he? 35. 35. Has he ever been on his own? No. No? Do you see him as having developmental issues? Or no, this is just a very comfortable lifestyle he's gotten used to? I think it's just that this is what he's used to. And I don't think he has developmental issues now. So he is capable of taking care of himself in your opinion. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, you're facing a reality teacher.

13:16In other words, if and when his mom passes away, how old is she going? How old is mom? She's in her 80s. Oh, okay. So she's up there. Okay. And her health issues are fragile. So. Yeah. Okay. This could be happening sometime in the next five years. We hope not, but yes, it could. Okay. Okay. So what do you think will happen to him? Will he just stay in the house and take it over from there? I think so. And probably just. I don't know. Let it fall down around him. I'm not sure. We don't know a couple of things. One. Are there other children? No. Okay. So he stands to inherit it all, right? Correct. Okay. So he's going to get. He's going to get the house. He's going to get whatever funds she has.

14:17So. Yeah. As you look at it, you think he'll live off a financially comfortable. I guess I don't know. I, you know, I don't know what the situation is. I think that's at least how he feels. Well, there's probably nothing you're going to do to convince him otherwise. Is there. I don't think so. I don't know. I just don't know if there's. That's what I'm calling for. I don't know if there's anything I can do. Other than. I don't want to just sit and be judgmental on them and. You know, talk behind his back or anything like that. But I just. I don't know. Glen, you're not being. You're not being judgmental if you're just looking at reality. If you're saying that this. Adult has pretty much lived off his mother. And maybe she wants him there too. That's the other thing. She may want him there. I mean, right now that it's the fact that he's there.

15:17Yes. But the fact that he has no. Social. I mean, I don't know that he has any. Friends. Other than maybe. Context that he has on the internet. I don't know. Well, if you're saying what can I do. Probably the one thing that's within your power is. If and when his mom passes away. You can somehow connect with him socially. Visit. Got to breakfast. Call him whatever whatever you want to do. Until he makes it clear he doesn't really care to have any contact with you. Or. He may welcome it. You won't know that until it all happens. The other thing is reality. For example, if you say I don't I don't know what's going to become of him. Well, the reality will be if he doesn't have the financial resources. He will be forced to do something. Now. He may be able to use all kinds of government programs to get by.

16:19That's can can happen. Or he may say I've got to I've got to get a job because I want to eat. That's more powerful than probably any kind of persuasion you would have. Yeah. Like St. Paul says, let him who does not work not eat. Yeah. So at this point, you're kind of watchful waiting. You're looking at the situation and you're saying, well, right now. It seems to be of benefit for both of them. He gets to live this reclusive life without any kind of motivation. And she has him there for emergencies or company or security or whatever it is. And then if she passes away. He's either going to live there on the basis of what she left him as long as he could. And continue to stay reclusive other than perhaps contacts from you. Or he'll be forced to do something because he'll run out of resources.

17:22Yeah. So you're sort of in a situation right now that you just watchful waiting is what I would call it. Okay. All right. All right. You my dear. Okay. All right. Well, thank you. You're welcome, Glen. Glenna brings up a good point. She says, I don't want to be judgmental. She's not being judgmental. She's simply saying, this is how I see it. All right. He's reclusive. He has no social outlets. He's 35 years old. He's a motivated. She's not saying he's a wretched human being that deserves to burn in hell. But I think sometimes we confuse judgmentalism with reality. I said to my wife this morning, I said, you know, I think you could, you could even go so far as to say somebody's acting like a jerk. But it doesn't mean you hate him. It doesn't mean you won't pray for him. It doesn't mean you wouldn't help him if they were in a situation where you could help him.

18:26It just means they're acting like a jerk. Now, maybe your perception of them acting like a jerk is off. But I think there's a confusion here. As a psychologist, I have to be judgmental. In the sense that I've got to exercise some kind of judgment over their conduct and what it's doing to them or other people in their lives. I got to do that. I can't say, well, you know, whatever's good for you. If that's what makes you happy, and you're content that way, or even if you're not content, if that's just what you're choosing to do, and you want to be miserable about it, and you want to mistreat your wife because of it, well, who am I to say? No. I got to make judgments. That's a terrible thing to do. I'm not being not a Christian by doing that. Okay, let's say I got time. Yeah, I got time. Let's go to Julie, going from St. Louis, covenant radio, turf, big, big network there.

19:30Hi, Julie. Hello. This is my second time ever calling in. Wow. How long did you, Julie? How long did you wait for the second time? I don't know. It says my phone's been on the phone for 15 minutes, but that doesn't, you mean, that's calling in and talking to the screener and includes all of that. Yeah, but I mean, the first time you called, how long ago was that? Oh, a long time ago. A while ago. You waited this long to call me again? I know, right? Well, no wonder you're struggling. I know. I have a lot of struggle buses in my life. So what does, Julie, what does artistic level two mean? Well, from my understanding, it was a lot of verbal stuff and hitting from what I'm seeing.

20:30And we have been suspended from school several times, even though he has an IP or what they call inappropriate speech and conduct, even though it's just his autism. And being dysregulated. Like, you have a person that's a parent advocate for the kid. I mean, I guess a child advocate for school. And he says what they're doing is illegal to him. They're approaching upon his shape, which is a free access to free education. And I just had him try out a St. Louis Academy, which was a place for autistic kids. And he hit the principal. It was only there for an hour. And so I don't know what to do. How old is he, Julie? How old is he? He's six. And he says autistic. What level does he function at, developmentally? Well, all I know is that there's three levels of autism.

21:33And he said they could go down to one, but right now he said two. So he has language. He does have language, correct? Yes. Oh, he speaks. Okay. And is he, does he have the IEP because of conduct or because of academic abilities? I think both. And just because he also comes with cerebral palsy and frontal onset epilepsy. Luckily, he's walking. Luckily, he was very, very very light version of cerebral palsy. He can take his first steps until 21 months and was in a lot of therapy, but to get there. So there are developmental delays. Yes. Does he hit you? Yes. Uh-huh. And my parents. Uh-huh. Does anyone who tries to redirect or tell him to do something or instruct?

22:33So it sounds like he's a rather significant behavior problem, not only for you, but for the school. Right. And he's always been. He has a good heart. He means well. I know he does. The question becomes how much of this is autistic guided poor control. And how much of it is under his control, even though he's diagnosed autistic level two. He has the functioning say of maybe a four year old or a five year old, which would still be able to be controlled by good limits and good discipline. Correct. Correct. I think we're lacking on that. I think a lot of things play into it. We don't have the healthiest of marriage. I'm trying not to get upset. Okay. So you got a, you got a whole big cauldron of ingredients here that are happening right now.

23:36I told him to listen. I told him I was calling you. Well, and I'm not going to be fair to you by giving you just a very brief answer. If you came in my office, I could talk. Oh, I know. I'm using it for guidance. Well, what guidance is you're going to have to get this situation under control. Yeah, the fact that he's autistic doesn't mean necessarily that he can punch people. Oh, absolutely not. Okay. So stay right there. I will conclude this call on the other side if it's okay with you. This is Dr. A 877-573-7825-87757 equal a lot of time left. So you call now. We'll get you on. Talk to Andrew Grootcheck and then hopefully talk to me.

24:37Thank you for joining me. Dr. Reagan here. Program. The doctor is in Monday through Friday, one o'clock Eastern time co-production. And I'll be in Maria radio communications. I always want to be one of those guys that say that stuff at the end of commercials. Or they have 10 seconds to get in 755 words. You can't even understand one word that they're saying, but they're so good at it. I'm talking to Julie from St. Louis. She has six-year-old who's been diagnosed as autistic level two, which is moderate. He has language. There are some delays. He has a special ed in school, but he's been suspended a number of times because of his violin outbursts. And Julie, Julie kind of has said, well, yeah, there's been behavior problems. And there's a lot more complex dynamics here. You're still there, Julie. Oh, Julie, you're still there, dear?

25:39I am. I got you. Can you hear me? Yeah, let me give you several quick suggestions, obviously. One, because he is diagnosed autistic does not mean he can't learn behavior control. Yeah, in extreme cases, that can happen. But what typically happens is the old, he's a special child kind of theme that pervades parenting, which means you've allowed a lot because you were endowed as how much he could control himself. So you allowed a lot, and perhaps he's developed an awful lot of just aggressive kind of habits. That sound about right? I think so. If we're going to be honest with ourselves. Okay. Secondly, you're going to have to develop some good discipline skills. Some real good discipline skills. You're going to have to follow through. You're going to have to set limits. You're going to have to have consequences.

26:40Now, obviously, I can't do that for you in a four minute radio call. I hate to push my own book, but I have a book called Discipline that Lasts a Lifetime. It is by far my biggest seller. It is 100 of the most common discipline questions I get asked about all kinds of stuff. How do you get him to take his discipline? How do you get him to stand in the corner? What do you do when he swings at you? How do you get him to see there's going to be consequences? All those questions are in that book, Discipline that Lasts a Lifetime. It'll give you 50 times more than anything I could give you now. Maybe more than 100 times more. If you go to my website, dray.com, it is there. That book is there. It has just been re-released by EW Chan and Sophia because it used to be with Franciscan. I guess you could call it a best seller because the number of sales on it is big.

27:42I think that's because it taps into struggles like your own, Julie, which is how do I get this kid under control because when he's going to be 10, he's going to be beaten a snot out of me. And the fact that you can't get him in school. All of that, I would suggest that. I would also suggest if you can, you find a therapist who will work with you, not your son, with you. And you say, look, here's what's going on. I need help. I need ideas on how to get this under control because if it's not under control, it's only going to get worse. Right. And now you kind of implied this. I'm not going to chase it, but you imply there's marital issues. So marital issues typically spill over into parent issues.

28:45And when you got parent issues, now the kid is going to start acting worse. So you're right, my dear. You got a whole brew there going on. And as you be in the stable adult in this, let's get you to get this situation under better control. Now you can do this. I get a lot of people in my office with six-year-olds who are violent. It's not unusual, but believe it or not, you can bring them under control. Do you know where I could find a therapist because it seems like everywhere I go, they don't work with anybody under 10? Well, I don't want you to work with anybody under 10. I want them to work with you. Well, I know, but like what about ABA therapy? I mean, I guess. Well, yeah, you can get that. I would suggest this. You call the people over at Covenant Radio. They would be aware. They would be aware of people in your area that could help you.

29:45Okay. Okay, thank you, Dr. Ray. Good luck. Good luck to you. That is, that's a situation I feel frustrated about because I want to give her so much help. I do. I want to do things because you see in a situation like this, you got a six-year-old that's just flailing out. Much of the time there are significant behavior problems and the swinging is only one. It's the one that is the most urgent at the moment. But at the same time, it's a wide range of behavior resistance. It's a wide range of defiance. It's a wide range of lack of control on the parents part. And again, I see it all the time. A diagnosis can confuse parents because they wonder how much does he actually understand?

30:51How much of this is due to his significant diagnoses, whatever it is. And I always say this to parents, except in the most extreme cases, whatever the diagnosis is, you can still deal with the conduct. One of the analogies I use, and I'll get you your calls here after the break, so thank you for your patience. One of the analogies I use. You see, do you have a dog? And a lot of people will say, yeah, about 50% of people. Yeah. Are you going to wait until your dog understands not to pee in your house before you train him not to pee in your house? Well, no. Right. You're going to train him. You're going to use certain behavior techniques to show him. This is what we have to do to get your bladder under control. Well, the vast majority of kids are smarter than dogs, you know?

31:54Except maybe Lassie or Rin 1010. Okay, I got that part. But at the same time, they can understand much more than a dog. So, all right. I got about 30 seconds. 877-573-7825-877. 57 equal. That is the number to call to get on to the program. And my daughter just sent me a picture, a little video here, of my newest granddaughter. Kind of sweet. There she is. All right. Got that. Wow. I'm Dr. Ray. 877-577 equals the number to call to get on to the program. I thank you for joining me here. Monday through Friday. One o'clock Eastern time is the program's air date.

32:56Dr. Ray. Dr. Ray, do you have social media? Yeah, you want to follow me? In my age. You can follow me the bulletin board at Kroger or my chart. That's my two places.

33:56Oh, okay. I do have social media. Let's go to Kathy calling from Must Cincinnati Ohio. Sacred Heart. Radio. Hi, Kathy. Hello. Thanks for the call. Hey, thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So, okay. I have a question. My husband and I are remarried after the death of our spouse. And this has been, you know, years since 2007. Anyway, we're remarried. We have, we each have three kids. And we have 14 grandchildren now. What I'm wondering is we were, we give, we spend, as they're spending time with the grandkids. The grandchildren was using the Lord's name in vain. And I just, I hesitate to overstep my boundaries and not knowing whether to, to say something or not. It's hard for me to hear. You know, it's a kid. So I realize they're young.

34:58But I know. How old is the child, Kathy? Yes. Six, eight. Six, three. You could do two things. One, you could ask, you say, how are you, how are you hearing that? How do you, how do you know to say that? You could ask that. How do you know to say that? You could ask that. Or you could probably take the safer route and go to the parents and say, I'm hearing him say, blah. Did you know that? Kind of thing. Oh, yeah, he's picking it up from his dad. Yeah, his dad talks like that all the time. Okay, well, I just figured, let you know. Now, got a figure, Kathy, if he's doing that with you, he's doing it at home. Right. So either they're not dealing with it or they don't care. Yeah, my guess is they probably don't realize it's not right.

36:01Okay. Well, do, do one of two things. First of all, you start out by talking to the parent. Say, here's, here's what I'm hearing. Did you hear that, too, at home? Oh, yeah, I didn't think anything of it. Okay. All right. If at my house, I tell him we don't, we don't talk that way. Is that okay with you? That's the two-step approach I'd take. Okay. And then I tell him, I'd say, you know, honey, that's, that's not a good way to talk. We don't talk that way here. God is someone we love very, very much and we don't, we don't want to use his name like that. All righty, that sounds like great advice. Thank you. Now, see, you just said that and I know Andrew is not going to take that and put it in part of a bumper. He's not going to say, all righty, that sounds like great advice. See, he won't do that. I have to pay him to put those ones up on bumpers. Well, maybe it's worth it. Is he paying you?

37:03Okay. Thanks, Kathy. All right, hun. Bye. Thank you, Dr. I. Okay. I really didn't get into any details on exactly how he was using God's name. You know, was he, was he actually using it in the most forceful way or was it sadly the way that people now use it all the time, OMG, which is again, kind of, kind of sad. Taisha from Albany, Georgia. Hi, Taisha. Hi. Thank you for calling, dear. What's going on? I have two children that are same-sex attraction and I feel bad because I feel like maybe it's my fault I might have done something wrong, put them to be like that when one of them is really angry. I don't know if he's angry with God because he's like that and feel rejected.

38:05How old are your kids, Taisha? They're adult, they're 32 and what, one of them is 32 and one of them is 36. Why do you think that you might have caused some of that? I don't know, I just feel, I just feel bad there. I have three kids, I got, well, all three of them actually, one on bisexual and other two on same-sex attraction and I just feel like why me? Well, I can't know. Taisha, I can't know exactly what it is about your kids who are expressing their same-sex attraction. I can't know if they had some gender confusion when they were very young. I can't know if they've been shaped by our culture and those are very, very powerful forces,

39:08now shaping same-sex attraction in more and more people. That's just the way it is. Social media does it, the media does it, our culture at large does it, so it's not unusual. It sounds like Tom Jones. It's not unusual for a higher percentage of adults, young adults and even late teens to claim either bisexual, which basically means I can have physical relations with either sex or same-sex, that's not unusual. I will tell you this, 25 years ago as a therapist, I rarely talk to parents who said my young adults are claiming same-sex attraction. Now it's one of the most common referrals that they will ask me about. So something in our culture has changed very much.

40:10Now somebody would say, well no, Dr. Ray, you're wrong because 25 years ago it was not accepted and therefore they were merely in the closet. Yeah, there's that component. But I got to believe that there's something in the culture that is shaping the way more and more people think. So how that's relevant to you is that you may have done nothing to bring that about. It just simply may be what dynamics are at play in terms of your kids. If you're asking and in the question you said, I don't know how to relate to them. Well, you relate to them as your kids. They're your young adult kids. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to celebrate their behavior. It simply means that you have the same relationship with them that you would otherwise have and you pretty much probably avoid those areas where you disagree. Okay.

41:10I mean, that's it. Just to blame yourself to say, well, I don't know what I did. Maybe there's just something missing about what I did. You can't know that. You can't go back and say, how do I know what it is if I don't know what it is? You can't do that. Maybe you could ask them, say, how is it? When did you know or decide that you wanted to be same sex attracted? How was that? Well, it was very, very young when that was happening. And as a matter of fact, two of them were molested. And that's unfortunate because that is oftentimes in the history of someone who is same sex attracted. There was molestation. Yeah. That's not your fault.

42:10So they want burnt? Were they born like that? I can't know. I can't know. I don't know your kids. I do know that, yes, there is some percentage of young people, very young people who genderwise don't necessarily develop with the same attractions as most. On the other hand, our culture very, very much pushes same sex attraction in the way it comes across in its media, in its entertainment, in its celebration. And so yes, I'm convinced there is a percentage of same sex attracted folks who otherwise would not be same sex attracted had they had they not lived in this in this culture at this time. All right, my dear, thank you. Thank you to Asia for the call, God bless you. This is Dr. Ray. This program brought to you in part by Avi Maria Florida, a big kind of small town, where golf carts take you everywhere and there's always something fun around the corner.

43:13Discover championship golf, resorts to elementities and a town center full of shopping and dining. With Avi Maria University and Avi Maria Catholic Church at its heart, it's a community full of connection and charm. More than 25 model homes are available for viewing. More information can be found at Avi Maria dot com. That's Avi Maria dot com. Fire on the earth's Peter Herbeck. Without the light that comes from Christ, we walk in darkness. And darkness is a way of describing this fallen world in which we don't know why we're here even. We can't touch meaning because we ultimately can't see God and we can't be satisfied because we were made for God. We were made as this entire creation, the whole cosmos was made to the glory of God. It all exists to reveal the glory and the majesty, the beauty, the complexity, the creative love and power of God. And all of it gives praise to him except for fallen angels and rebellious human hearts. We're made literally to live for the glory of God, to worship him, to give thanks to him.

44:16That's what heaven is. It's not just a big permitting, but it is the full celebration of free souls and creatures just overwhelmed by the majesty and beauty of God. And we're sharing it. We're not just watching it like we do on a movie that when it's over, it's over, we're in it. We're sharing in the life and it's total and absolute fulfillment. We can't hardly even imagine what that's like. The best we can do in this world is to have some measure of distraction or something that makes me feel good temporarily. Or temporary goals that we kind of have hope in. Those intermediate goals are good goals, but they don't solve the big problem. They don't produce genuine heart that brings peace to the soul and transformation. Peter Herbeck spreads fire on the earth weekday mornings at 6.30 and again at 11.45 on Ave Maria Radio.

45:16Last segment, let's get to an angry off from Erie, Pennsylvania, home of father Larry Richards. Hi, Andrea. Hi, how are you? I'm doing good. All you're facing something that a whole lot of parents are facing these days. I know it. She determined she's going to live with him no matter what. No, she's actually on the fence about it. She is a pretty logical kid. I mean, she's in her early 20s, but of course I still think of her as a kid. And she understands why she shouldn't, especially face-wise, why that shouldn't happen. But I think that, you know, to desire to do it is sort of outweighing that. And when I tend to get to luxury about things is when I kind of lose her in, you know, conversation.

46:18So I'm kind of just trying to come up with a plan as like, okay, if she does decide that this is something she wants to do, what would be the best approach, you know, should I? I don't want to guilt and shame her into, you know, trying to get her not to do it because they don't think that that would work. Why is she waffling? It probably wouldn't be nice. Why is she waffling? Why is she what? Why is she waffling? In other words, she's got mixed feelings. Where the mixed feelings come from. From her face, because she knows that it's not something that, you know, is within God's plan that she should do. She knows that she should be married first. So she's kind of struggling with, you know, what she feels like she wants to do versus what she knows she should do. Okay, ask her a few questions. Say, what is the appeal to living with your boyfriend? Now, we figure, okay, if God says don't do it that way, there's got to be a reason not to do it that way.

47:23So we can approach it from a very practical way. We say, what's the appeal for living with him? And then whatever she tells you, well, finances, well, I like to be with him. Well, we can share costs. Well, he's really easy to be with. And then ask her this, do you think that living with your boyfriend will make it? We'll make it more or less likely that you'll eventually get married. Okay, that's the first question. And then you ask her this, you follow it up, you say, do you think that if you get married, you'll be more or less likely to divorce if you lived with him first. Now, hear her answer and say, well, the research is overwhelming. If you live with somebody first, you're much more likely to be divorced if you marry. Okay. Her mindset probably is the cultural misguided mindset, which is...

48:25Well, you got to get to know someone. You got to live with them to find out if it's... Yeah, that was brought up and I said, well, you guys have been dating for years. You know each other. You know. There's no mystery as to how you know how each other live each other's lives and all of that. Well, you can bring up that point. You can say, because she thinks it's going to be less likely that they'll divorce or more likely that they'll get married and have a good marriage if they live together, because they'll really know if they're meant for each other. And you can point out to her, well, the odds are not on your side. Okay. Then you can tell her. You can say, well, if there is a God, then he knows the best way to do it. Why do you think he would say don't do it that way? Get her to answer you, as opposed to you telling her, well, you know, this is this, this is this. Can she shut you down?

49:26Mm-hmm. Yeah, you know that. I do. That's always where we kind of lose it. You know, is that where I feel like I'm just telling and then she doesn't want to hear it. Get her to explain herself out loud. So she can hear her own words. Most people, they think in fragments or they think disjointed and when they have to explain themselves out loud. Yeah, it's like, ooh, ooh, that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it? Now, do you think that it would be too, I guess I don't want to try to think of the word too far for me to say something along the lines of after discussing this, if it is something that you decide to do, you know, you just have to understand that you're not going to receive help from me about it. Okay. Well, I've got about 20 seconds real quick. Yeah, you can tell her I'm not going to support you, I'm not going to move you in and I'm not going to pay your rent, I'm not going to do any of that.

50:30But that doesn't mean I don't love you and I won't love your boyfriend either. I will still treat you with respect and warmth and love. Because otherwise you'll do the relationship. She knows where you stand. You don't have to say I have to act a certain way. I got to go up against the clock, walk with God. For information on Dr. Ray's presentations, books and CDs, visit drray.com and follow him on Facebook and Instagram. The doctor is in is a co-production of Avi Maria Radio and EWTN Radio and carried across the EWTN Global Catholic Radio Network.