The Doctor Is In - March 10, 2026

0:00Nice to have you with me here on The Doctor is in. You have always been a recent reason for all of this. Appreciate your time, what you're doing for America. I give you advice, and doesn't work at all. You are definitely not inept by any means. I like to hear women say that about me. Whatever advice you're going to send my way, I am 100% taken in. I can't tell you what to do. I will not tell you what to do. Okay, well thank you. That wasn't the answer I wanted. Are you kidding me? Great stuff Dr. Ray, glad I called. I sketched with my day around this senior radio show. Don't have to laugh so hard. Now, from the studios of Living Bread Radio Network in Canton, Ohio, the hometown of Mother Angelica, here's Dr. Ray. Very good to be with you, as it always is. What a blessing. What a privilege to be with you guys. I would like to thank each and every one of you for your company.

1:02But to thank 136 people would probably take me to about 115 Eastern. So just a big generic thank you for joining me. 877-5737-825. 877-57 equal. Some people say, what's with the equal bit? Well, if you look at your phone, you have letters corresponding to numbers. So isn't it, it's easier to remember 877-57 equal. You don't have to remember all those numbers. You just remember that word and you punch in the numbers where those letters are. But if you want to remember the number, it's 877-573-7825. Okay, couple of items of business. I want to get them out of the way right now. I don't normally say this stuff, but I want to make an excuse. I had surgery yesterday.

2:02That's right. So, I am now on synthetic opioids. Specifically, oxycodone. If I say something dumb, I will attribute it to my semi. What's the word I'm looking for? Not distracted. Some I woozy state. Now, there are those of you who are going to say, how can we tell? How can we tell if you're on oxycodone or you're just your normal self? I'll admit, that could be difficult. But I was not going to miss being with you guys. That's for sure. Oh heck, that question from New Mexico already. Man, that's... If that's the case, I'm probably one of the most immoral people you ever would know. But we'll get to that. 877-57Equal.

3:02Quick announcement here. I want to do this because this is what EWN calls the live read book. The saints pray for you. How the Christians in heaven help us here on earth. We are surrounded by so heavenly, a cloud of witnesses. Cheering us on in the race. One of the most difficult stumbling blocks that the Catholic belief presents for non-Catholics is the doctrine of the communion and intercession of the saints. They accuse us thinking of praying to dead people. And we expect those same dead people to pray for us. Yeah, our pastor used to say, so you think the people in heaven are dead? Ho ho ho ho. In his book, the saints pray for you. Carlo Brusard. Carlo is a bright dude. He really is. And he's muscular as all gets out because he lifts heavy. He brings the answers and provides the answers backed up with the Bible. Witness of Scripture and the practice of the early church.

4:02Carlo convincingly defends the ancient Christian belief that the saints are our family in heaven. And very prayerful allies in the work of our salvation. Oh, nice stuff there, Carlo. Good man. Okay, now there are certain monologues that are more prone to get me in trouble than other monologues. And this is one of them. This is one where no matter how much I qualify it, likely. I'm going to get some email. Let's say I can't believe you say that. Hopefully it's not coming from my bosses at EWTN or Ave Maria. I don't think so. Because I think I've got someone on my side that you can't impune. And I think that's Jesus. Okay, here's my lead line. Pious is not holy.

5:03Want me to say that again? Doctor, you're starting out bad already. Pious is not holy. Now here's what I mean. Let me flesh this out. Piety is a holy thing. Holy intent. Holy motion. Holy act. Holy practice. Got that. Piety in and of itself can be a dangerous substitution for the real core of Christianity. It is much easier for me to go to Mass during the week than to forgive an obnoxious relative or to tolerate better and obnoxious relative. It's easier for me to do that because you see the mass makes me feel good about my holiness.

6:05I've had occasions on this radio show. A caller will say I have a relative who hasn't talked to me in seven years and I've tried to reach out for her. And she just simply will not respond and I've tried to apologize and she doesn't want to hear it. And I'll say is your relative a Christian? Oh, yes, she's a daily mass coer. Oh, I see. Now that's an extreme, but I've seen it. I've heard it. It is easy to think of ourselves as holy. If our Catholic expression is overloaded on the devotional and underloaded on the charity. I've often said I can pray rosary better than I can go visit my elderly aunt at the nursing home. I can do to rosary. I don't really, I mean the elderly aunt in the nursing home. That's kind of outside my comfort zone, you know.

7:05It kind of smells like urine over there. And there's all kinds of devotions, Catholics have. We have fabulous devotions. Good devotions. All designed to bring us closer to Christ. But the danger is is making the devotions priority over charity. The devotions make us feel holy. They should do us well, bringing us closer to Christ, but if they become a substitute for the tougher stuff of Christianity. That's when they become dangerous. Now I said I was going to side of witness. Did I not? Somebody that I think agrees with me. Now you would know who that is, right? Does the name Jesus ring a bell? Who did he assault verbally the most?

8:08The high profile religious. Why? Well they were holy. Look at you see all the things they did that indicated how Jewish they were. All those practices they had all designed to make them in God's sight so very positive. But yet why did he attack them? Because he said, you're substituting piety for true holiness, for true charity. He went after them more than the prostitutes and the tax collectors. So you see, it is dangerous. I tell myself this all the time. I do not want to think of myself as a better follower of Christ because I heavily load my religious expression with devotionals. They're good. See this where I get in trouble.

9:09See somebody's going to come in right in the middle of this. They can go like I believe you said this. He told us not to practice devotionals. No, I didn't of course I didn't. So don't email me. But for example, for example, someone might say to me because they hear me talking about stuff on this program, gee, you just must so love the Lord. You must so be such a good Christian. And I say you don't know that. You have no idea the charity if I would practice it the way our Lord would wish me to or or to keep trying to get better at it. There's a better way to put it. Oh yeah, I can talk a certain good game. That's easy to do. You know, as a matter of fact, I have people that I know who elevate other people into the status of walking saints because they are high-profile devotional practices.

10:10Not a word, but it's a good one should be. Now, I'm not saying they're not holy. Don't mishear me. I'm not saying, oh boy, you got to be skeptical. I've got to look at them like yeah, what kind of what kind of see me uncharitable underbellied you have. No, no, no, not saying any of that. But I am saying it's easy to look at someone who's very devotional. I've had a lot of clients like this. They're very devotional. But they're struggling with forgiveness. They're struggling with kindness to somebody obnoxious. They're struggling with doing something that puts them outside of their emotional comfort zone. I get anxious going to nursing homes. I don't want to go. I have a friend with cancer and I don't even know what to say if I'd go visit him. I'm going to pray a rosary for him. It's a lot easier to do that.

11:12Now, apparently I have not stepped on any nerves right here because nobody has called into comment on that. And you can, you can call into comment on that if you want. But I'm going to take a break right now and then I'm going to go to my anonymous friend from New Mexico that if it is true, I am in big, big trouble. This is Dr. Ray. Today's programming is brought to you in part by Gif from our day sponsor. The annual Rosemask for Catholic Health Care Workers, celebrated by Bishop Boyet, takes place on Saturday, March 14th, at 5 p.m. at St. Francis in Ann Arbor, followed by a dinner reception. Dr. Bob Collins, nationally recognized oncologist, will share his journey of conversion and stories of grace and healing. Suggested donation is $25. RSVP at bit.ly forward slash Rosemask. Food for the journey's sister and shield. We have a tendency to make idols. We exalt other people to the place that really belongs to God.

12:14And we see it. We see it in sports. We see it in beauty contests of all kinds. We see all kinds of ways in which we idolize certain people. We elevate them because there's something in us that wants to be able to look up to someone. But that person is Jesus. And you idolize if you're thinking about them, if you're imitating them, if you're occupying yourself with the things that they do, oh, we'd say, oh, no, no, no, I don't worship false idols. But in effect, we do. If our time, our attention, and our money are going to things or people that aren't worth it. We are to have the Lord front and center. And the Lord exalted in our lives everything directed to Him and back through Him to His people. But we, human creatures, we go after something that touches us in some way or we desire to be like them. And so we start imitating them. And we get ourselves sidetracked.

13:15Let's fix our gaze on the Lord. Let's imitate Him. And then we're going to know the kind of worship that sets us free. Sister Anne Shields gives you food for the journey, weekday mornings at 6.45 and again at 11.30 on 9.90 of a Maria Radio. Dr. A. Grannie program doctor is in my compatriots there in Ann Arbor, at Project Producer Man, Eric Dumont, call streamer and in cooperation with my dear friends at EWTN Catholic Radio Network. Some of them are in their offices and every once in a while they have the radio shows on throughout the day in their offices. And I count them. I count them as a listener.

14:16So they're in my 136. Although, although I suspect they don't listen much at the time because I say hello to them. They don't say hello back. Now this caller, anonymous, anonymous, sounds like a young man calling from New Mexico. If this is true, my friend. I just love to ask girls out when I was in college. I think that's why I stayed in college so long. You know, kind of like just a whole bunch of girls to ask out. Did I have any intentions of marrying any of them? Well, no, because I didn't know them yet. So, welcome to the show, sir. How are you? Hi, Dr. Ray. I'm doing great. How old are you? I'm a fan of you. How old are you, son? I'm 22. Oh, man, when I... My belt is older than 22. Jeez. My cleats. My ball cleats are older than 22. So why are you struggling with this whole idea that if you ask a girl out just because you...

15:20Like her, you enjoy your company. You're not thinking of marriage. Why do you think that could be wrong? Because... So I ask this question because I'm an extrovert and I find it very easy to talk to and make friends. But I find that when I try to ask girls out, like with romantic intentions, I kind of seep up and I become... What I believe could be perceived as a little awkward. And so I'm wondering if it would be immoral to ask girls out who either... Maybe aren't Christian or who aren't my type or both just to... Little practice. Little practice round there, you know? Yeah. I want to give you... I mean, I make Catholic. I try to live by the Catholic rules. So I wouldn't be doing, let's say, marital activities early. Well, if you don't mislead them, I would think... Right. If you pick up cues that they're looking at this as something that you're not intending to be,

16:22however you decide to let them know that you're just enjoying their company. And that at this point in your life, you're not looking for a steady relationship at all. You're just enjoying their company. I think that covers you as long as you're straight up. Okay. Because I heard some people say, like, you should always date, discerning, like, do I want to discern marriage with this person? Well, the problem with that thing... And if you'd ever know, then you shouldn't continue. Well, the problem with that thinking is, how do you know what to take? One date? Three dates? You know, people say, well, if she's a good Catholic and you know she's a good Catholic, that once again, going back to my man-log. Yeah, she may be a good Catholic in people's eyes, but you don't know what that means. You got to get to know somebody. I've seen a lot of relationships. They go five, six, seven, eight months and realize, excuse me, this must be the oxycodum. They go five, six, seven, eight months. And they realize this, no, this person is showing indications that would not be...

17:29It wouldn't be someone I'd want to marry. I could see that. How do you know? How do you know? You're going to get a profile or resume? Say, well, okay, let's see. She checks that box. She checks that box. Okay, once she goes to Mass twice a week, well, that's good. Mass twice a week. That's more than almost everybody. Our age goes to Mass. Okay, got that. Yeah. That may be one part of the picture, but it certainly isn't the whole picture. I think it's more like, as opposed to thinking, oh, I could see myself with this girl. Maybe, maybe not. I'll go on a date, just get to know her and see. Rather than that, it's like, you know, the way this girl's lifestyle is, I do not want to be with her long term. So, I'll just go out with her for practice. I don't know if I go so far as to say it's wrong, but it's probably not too cool. You've already looked at it, you know, this chick is no way that she...

18:32She's going to enter into any kind of social circle with you, and you're just doing it because she's an easy date. And again, you qualified it here at the end of the thing that said, you're not looking for friends with benefits. I got that part. So, that definitely knocks that off the table. But if it's real clear, no way, no how, no chance, you know, Penelope is a dancer, not in a place that you're talking ballet either, then yeah, I would think now you can develop those skills other places. And the best way to develop them, the safest way, group settings. Catholic groups, and okay, here's how you get over the awkward thing. This is really easy. I'm basing this on what so many women, your age, tell me, all you got to do is show an interest in them. That's it.

19:32Make it your goal to just hear about their life, their pursuits, their education, their family, their views on sports. And I think this is really important. I mean, if she doesn't think the DH is a good idea for baseball, dump her right then and there. Dump her right now. Okay, you got to have your standards. And if she would ever call a drop playing on third and twelfth, that's crazy. That's over. You don't call a drop playing on third and twelfth. You just don't. Some women just, you shouldn't be talking to her. So I'll make a note of that. Yeah, make a note of that. Figure out what that means. Group settings. Okay, that's all right. That's all right. And see your sensitive guy. So you wouldn't even have to worry about that. Me, I would just clumsy my way into it. So what do you think about right after I ask her her sign? And then what do you think about a call on a drop playing on third and twelfth? And if she says, well, I just think that's ridiculous. Why would you do that? I mean, you should, you should do a pitch out. A pitch out gives you an option. Gives you an option, especially on the weak side of the defense.

20:34Of course, anybody knows that. I'd say, will you marry me and ask her one other thing. This is how I decided to date my wife. Okay. Can I go out? Would you go to the golden corral with me? Now, you know what the golden corral is? Yeah, it's like a huge. Major league, major league buffet. Okay. If you're a professional leader, that's where you go. And I always feel guilty at the golden corral when I say blessing. And then I have gluttony. That's just doesn't seem to follow, you know. But I would say the group setting. But you're crazy. So it's covered, right? Yeah, that's a factor. Yeah, I knocked off probably about five days in purgatory. But here's the thing. Group settings. Much easier to get your chops in terms of relating to people. And it's so easy to draw people out. When you're worried about what you're going to say to sound cool.

21:34Hey, look, I do this show. I don't worry about what I'm going to say to sound cool. Because I know it's a lost cause. So just ask her all about her. It's so easy. And you'll find most people all you have to do is give them a nudge. And they'll tell you, you don't have to keep asking one question after another. And she says, yes. So did you go to school? Yes. What college did you go to? Notre Dame. Oh, what do you major in in business? Yeah, that's a tough conversation. Now, it wouldn't be rough to keep up for about an hour. But once you get most people gone, they just, they just love to share. That's a nice way of me saying they just love to talk about themselves. Yes. My female family members tell me women love good listeners. Oh, it's true. By far, the number one thing I hear as I said from women is that I am out in the date. And I did nothing but hear about him. Yep. What part of New Mexico?

22:36Albuquerque. Is fire falls? I haven't. That's where it was filmed. Is fire falls near you guy? Angel falls. Is fire falls or angel falls? Angel fire. Angel fire. That's it. Okay. I spoke many years ago back when, when school districts would bring me in until they found out I was Catholic. I spoke to the Albuquerque city schools. And I went up all the way up. It was about 14,000 feet, isn't it? It's way up there, right? I think so, yeah. It's, yeah, it's way up there. And I wanted to go way up to the top. Most spectacularly beautiful setting I ever saw. It looked like a Swiss Alps valley up there. And here's the, here's the story. It meant so much to me. On the way up there, there was a cross with a bandana. You know these flowery type bandana things. You know the blue things with all kinds of baroque kind of designs on them. It was. Yeah, it was draped over the cross and completely almost faded.

23:39You could tell what it was at one time. So I got out of my car and I went and looked at the date of that cross. Whoever it was died, I think, several years earlier. But that bandana was almost completely faded, completely. And do you know what that made me think of? No. What? It was a film of Guadalupe. Oh, nice. That Tillma. I think Guadalupe is my favorite version of Mary. And that Tillma was in the, out in the, for a couple centuries. It was out in the weather. And yet it is as bright and shiny 500 some years later as it was back when. After that bandana faded after a few years. All right, good luck there, my friend. 877-57378-25s, Dr. Ray. Thank you so much for joining.

24:55We have an anonymous caller from North Dakota before we go to her, Eric. I, I'm glad she called because she makes a very good clarifying point of my Mantelog where I said you got to be careful because piety can make you think you're a lot holier than you are. Except, except when devotionals and piety leads you to be a better person. And I think that's the point she wants to make. High anonymous, how are you? I'm well, how are you, Dr. Ray? I'm fine. Thanks for the call. You're welcome. I just, I really appreciated your mantelog. Growing up, our, our dad was a, they were, I mean, my folks are pretty strict and they were definitely practicing Catholics, but he was daily mass, you know, holy hours during the pandemic, rosary every day. We said all these things and yet as, as we got, we, we didn't think that he was, you

25:58know, the best of dads, that he really had trouble showing us that he, that he did love us. And we, we said this numerous times as young adults, how could he go to mass and communion every day and then be so rude or whatever it was to us? And it's just recently, now, that I, I'm coming to think that my dad, you know, he's a World War II vet, he had a lot of issues. Maybe all of the devotionals were trying to do a better job. Well, I hate when I start to sentence out well because it makes it sound like I'm looking for something to say. I forget who it was. He was a famous author and a woman said to him, you called yourself a Christian. You are one of the more obnoxious people I know. He said, and I think maybe this could relate in a way to your dad.

27:03He said, ma'am, you are right. But you should have seen me when I wasn't a Christian. So maybe, yeah, maybe we could extrapolate that to your dad and say in essence, he was struggling in his own way to get past that personality type that he had, the rough times he knew in World War II, that whole generation, which is you just shut your mouth and you provide for your family and you don't worry about affection or all that stuff. I told you I loved it 12 years ago, nothing's changed. And maybe for him, he knew that those kinds of things were weaknesses in his personality. And he had to pursue this other stuff to try to make him a better father. Did you notice that toward the end as he got older somewhat of a change?

28:05Yes, definitely. And during one of his hospitalizations that I was there with him, he had been having a really rough evening and I was sitting there on the end of the bed and I don't ever remember my dad telling me that he loved me before that. But he said to me, you know, I do love you. I know I don't do a good job of showing it, but I want you to know that. What did he mean by I don't do a good job of showing it? I think he, you know, how people would say, well, my dad never told me that he loved me, but I always knew that he did. Well, I never knew that he did. And he was just, he was very cool with drawn, hard to get to know, but he was a different person around other, I don't know, he's very, it's very complicated, but he was very

29:06sociable, likable guy around other people. He, um, somewhat, yes, he was Irish and my mother, because we couldn't figure out how her mom could even have married him, fallen, but she said he was the life of the party. They, they met after World War II and he was like, yeah, he was the life of the party and then something, something happened, something happened. Um, our older brother told us that he said he knew what it was, um, he hasn't told us, but something happened in our dad's past and, uh, yeah. Hmm, do you think, do you think that your dad for a while turned you off toward religion as if to say, well, if that is what religion is, and if that is what he has to pursue and do all those holy things and it doesn't make him any better a person, I don't see any

30:08good in it. No, I, myself, I never experienced that, um, of five children, four of us are still practicing. Um, I, I never, no, I never, never connected those two. Were you confused? No, no, I never, no, I was Catholic and I mean, obviously the grace of God was there, which, uh, gives me hope for my own children for the, you know, the mistakes that we've made or the errors, the ones who've left the church. Um, no. Were you confused about what appeared to be your dad's piety, but his lack of closeness and intimacy and warmth with his kids? Yes. Yes. And we would say we would, we just couldn't figure it out. How could you go and listen to these homelies and these readings and then, and then, you

31:09know, be like this? And like I said, I think all of us were still right up until the last years of his life trying to win his approval. Um, but like I said, it was just at this, these last few years of his life that I realized it just came to me that maybe, maybe that's what that was all about. Well, that's a very generous and tolerant way to look at it, you know that? Each generation has a, go ahead and go ahead. I was just going to say something incredibly wise and witty, but you cut me off. So go ahead. If you think yours is better, go ahead. No, I forgot entirely what it was. So did I. No, I, um, I think it ended up that my dad ended up living with us in the last few years of his life. And I think that actually ended up to be a grace of God that, uh, we, we saw a different

32:09side of him, probably very much beside that my mother had fallen in love with. Well, that's an awful, that's an awful, beautiful thing for you. And I wish you to tell me our call screen, your name so I could refer to you personally. It's very hard for me to just go, well, you know, anonymous, that's pretty good. All right, that's good, all right, sweetheart, you take very good care and thank you so much for calling. You're welcome. Thank you, Dr. Ray. Good night. See, I'm really trying to be soft and sensitive this program because, uh, that oxycodones in me and, uh, whatever nice I might say, you could probably attribute it to the drug. You know, when that drug wears off by tomorrow, and then I'm in the surgery post surgery pain, then I'll be, I'll be my old carmuginy crusty self, eight, seven, seven, five, seven, three, seven, eight, twenty, five, certainly want to hear from you, got some lines open, and

33:11we have some time left. So if you'd like to call in, keep in mind, we take calls, uh, on, on for all kinds of reasons, requests, situations, comments, help for someone else, generic, I don't understand this about psychology or culture, surely, but you don't have to be surely to call, you can, you can call, your names, and you know, eight, seven, seven, five, seven, three, seven, eight, two, five. That is the number to call to get on to the program to talk to Eric Dumont. Good Lord, permitting, uh, this Friday, I will be at the babble conference. Now I know that sounds rather pejorative. It's not bringing America back to life.

34:13It is the largest pro-life conference in the United States, and it's in Cleveland. Just up the road for me, uh, speaking in the morning on Friday, they got a whole, whole lineup of speakers, all kinds of speakers, um, I'm the one who speaks first to get the frisbee's and the beach balls going, you know, get the crowd with the frogs and everything, all that stuff. But I think they still have tickets, B-A-B-L, babble conference, and a lot of the people at the rock go to that because that's right up in the Cleveland area. Social meat is no surprise here, but it's, it's, it's a questionable study, but it points in a general direction for whatever the reason social media could be costing your tween, which is probably what, uh, 11, 12, 13. Some of their brain power, a new study says, oh, yeah, there it is. Children between nine and 13 years of age who spent more time on social media, performed

35:19worse on tests of reading, memory, and language two years later. Now that was reported by the Journal of the American Medical Association, JAMA, and that's not a cup of coffee. So that's, that's probably one of the most prestigious, although in some respects, they kind of followed along with the, they didn't follow the science and they followed the narrative regarding much of the whole trans movement. The study found that even low levels, this is a quote now, even low levels of social media use were associated with poorer cognitive outcomes. That means you did more bad on the test. The lead research, a guy named Dr. Jason Nagata, associate professor of pediatrics, University of California, San Francisco, equal it's again.

36:19Our results suggest that the early adolescent brain may be particularly sensitive to social media exposure, underscoring the importance of age, appropriate introduction to these platforms and careful monitoring. That's really just a kind of like an academic shibboleth way of saying, yeah, delay it, people delay it, go against the cultural norm of nine to 10 years of age, getting a smartphone. The researchers analyze data from more than 6,500 kids participating in the nationwide adolescent brain cognitive development, ABCD, in that cute study, largest long-term study of brain development in the US, all right, nine to 13, now this is, this is encouraging to me, anyway, of those kids, about 58% of them spent virtually, no pun intended, no

37:21time on social media. That's high. I would have never guessed that, nine to 13, virtually no time. I would wonder what percentage of those are boys, 37% were spending an hour a day on social media by age 13, and 6% as many as three hours a day by 13. Study the brain, brain power using a battery of tests, I don't know what tests they use, it's just kind of a summary report by US news. The kids with low use of around an hour a day, that's just, now that most people would just say, that's one hour, that's not very, that's not very much compared to the social pressure to be on it a lot, scored an average of one to two points lower on memory and reading tests, those who spent three hours a day, four points lower.

38:26Now in a second here, I'm going to get to the question, the huge question of this study, but they saved it, at least the reporter for US news and summarizing this, saved it until the end. The researcher said, these differences are subtle but consistent, because cognitive skills such as reading and memory are fundamental to learning, I love research, talk, listen, even small declines across the large population could have meaningful educational implications. Could have bad results. Now they suspect and you have to do, you have to do a discussion, what they call a discussion at the end of any kind of research paper, and you have to talk about why this could be and you always have to do the obligatory, more study is needed. Research your suspect, suspect some kids might be ignoring homework to scroll.

39:27It's highly interactive and can displace time. Now, last paragraph, because the study is observational, that means it was not designed to actually look at cause and effect. It could not draw a direct cause and effect link between social media use and children's main part. Here's why, if their main observation was how much time a kid between the ages of nine and thirteen spends on social media, without controlling for all the other factors, maybe, for example, the kids on social media have far less parental involvement, however you want to measure that, far less parental involvement. Maybe there are more behavior problems among that group, that's going to affect their learning.

40:29Now wait, don't hear, don't miss hear me, I'm not making an excuse for social media and saying it doesn't make any difference, it does. I would have expected bigger numbers here, but there could be so many other factors that are causal factors that are allowing the kids to spend that much time on social media, but the least of which is they got a smartphone at that very early age, and they aren't only on social media, there aren't a whole lot of other stuff. Or the parental supervision to allow them three hours of social media day basically means they're not really monitoring schoolwork. Or there could be more friction in the families, could be more dysfunction, could be more broken families, could be all kinds of suggestions, but it led to more time on social media. Again, the good news was, which kind of surprised me, is that that age between 9 and 13, 58%

41:37of them didn't have any social media contact. It's spectacular, and maybe it reveals a movement away from among more people becoming aware of what this does to kids' lives, changes their personality. It does. Speaking of changing personality, I got to go. This is Dr. Ray. Step away from the noise and return to what truly matters at Maryville Retreat Center in Hawley, from retreats for Mary couples and those discerning their vocation, to directed silent retreats and evening prayer services, even exploring scripture to art. Maryville offers sacred space to rest, pray, and renew your spirit individually or as a family. Visit their website at www.Maryvilleretreatcenter.org or call 248-634-5566. We are in the high point of the liturgical year. We are in ordinary time.

42:40Why did God become part of history? For the sake of ordinary time, why did He suffer death? For ordinary time, and resurrection? Again, for ordinary time. We live our lives chasing the glamour moments, the highlight moments, yet as a eucharistic people, we should know that God is most fully present in the ordinary, not in the flash of life, not in its speed, not in its awards and banquets. We kill our unborn children and we tuck away our elderly because they slow us down, hindering our pursuit of those glamour moments. But it's because they do slow us down that we should love them all the more, for helping us find the wealth in the ordinary. Do you own popular index mutual funds or ETFs? If so, you're automatically own shares of companies that conflict with your moral beliefs.

43:42Aviv Marija mutual funds are managed to conform to pro-life and pro-family values. Long-term investors can invest in the no-load Aviv Marija mutual funds. The experienced professional portfolio managers make decisions based on investment fundamentals and pro-life values. You can learn more about Aviv Marija mutual funds today at 866-AvivMaria, or visit AvivMariaFunds.com. All right, do you want to another study on this? This was from MIT, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where I'll tell you what, that is a high-powered technical university. Global struggling with mental health are more likely to browse negative content online. In turn, that negative content makes their symptoms worse, according to a series of studies

44:42by researchers at MIT. This is interesting. The group behind the research has developed a web plug-in tool to help those looking to protect their mental health. Let me see what they did on this. Our study shows a causal, and this is what I want to hear, bidirectional. That means it goes both ways. The causation goes both ways between health and what you do online. We found that people who already have mental health symptoms are more likely to go online and more likely to browse for information that ends up being negative or fearful. Then, after browsing this content, their symptoms become worse. It is a feedback loop. Parents will tell me that they don't like the direction of their child's personalities,

45:50more anxious, she's more socially withdrawn, more depressive thinking, and they don't like this. But they're afraid to either limit the phone or cut it off altogether, because they are worried that this will make their children's symptoms even worse than allowing them access to their phone without protection devices on it, which would render the phone unlikable to the child. At some point, the parent has to make a decision. The parent has to say, am I going to allow this to go on because I'm parenting in fear of what could happen and how my child could react? Or am I going to recess, regroup, restart, how I'm going to deal with this smartphone

46:56and where they're going on it and recognizing that they are predisposed already by their unhappiness or their social withdrawal or their lack of solid peer relations. So I gotta let them have the phone because that's their only connection. Yeah, but what is it, their connection to by and large, you went good, solid, healthy connections. You do it in person. All right, let me see what else. Okay, study studies. Okay, they had a bunch of studies, I guess. Analyze the web browsing happens to more than a thousand participants. They had their measuring devices. I won't go into each of that. And they scored either negative or positive for each web page visited as well as scores for anger, fear, anticipation, trust, surprise, sadness, joy, and disgust.

48:02Now here's probably where a weakness is. Anytime you get self-report, there are questions you could ask. Participants also completed questionnaires to assess their mental state and indicated what their mood was like directly before and after their web browsing. Better moods were associated with less negative web pages and worse pre-browsing moods tended to browse more negative web pages. One might say, why is that? Why is someone who is already discontent or anxious or socially stunted? Why is it that they would be attracted to bad stuff instead of good stuff? What is it about the human psyche? Well, I got my speculations. Missory loves company.

49:04That's kind of an old cliche, but there's a lot of truth to it. Or maybe they want to see people who have it even worse than they do. Or maybe they're convinced because of their emotional state that the whole world stinks. And they're just finding more reasons to think of that. There are all kinds of reasons, but the bottom line, a little sorry for the cliche. At the end of the day, sorry for that cliche, is that the stuff isn't good for them? And a parent has to have the confidence and the strength to readjust. Parenting is a series of readjustments. You see where something is going that you didn't think it would go. And you decide, I've got to regroup. But many parents are really nervous about regrouping because of the child's reaction. And it isn't just anger anymore.

50:05Now we've got parents thinking you're trashing their psyche. This is something that's going to reverberate all the way through their adulthood when they leave the church because of you. And that's what we do to ourselves. And it keeps us so much from making the decisions that in the long run would be in our child's best interest, but in the short run. Would require an amazing amount of strength, confidence, and stamina on the part of the parent. Andrew just told me I have 30 seconds left to go. So I will overcome my nervousness and my fear of the show ending to say bye-bye. And thank you so much for joining me here on The Doctor is in Music, My Stro. For information on Dr. Ray's presentations, books, and CDs, visit drray.com and follow him on

51:11Facebook and Instagram. The Doctor is in is a co-production of Avi Maria Radio and EWTN Radio and carried across the EWTN Global Catholic Radio Network.