Raising Kids Who Have "A Battle" Worth Fighting For featuring John Sapiente

0:00Welcome to the Dad Edge Podcast. The Dad Edge movement creates leaders of men, leaders of families, and leaders of communities. We will not only impact this generation of fathers, but the next generation as well. The kids we are raising will have better chances and odds stacked in their favor because of the amazing example that their fathers emulated for them. We are here to change the world. We are here to change relationships. We are here to positively disrupt this generation of fathers so no man goes to their grave with regrets. We disrupt the drift of busyness and replace it with razor-focused intention, passion, purpose, and direction. We are the Dad Edge and we're here to change the game. John, what's up man? Welcome to Dad Edge. Hey, thanks for having me. This is great.

1:07Glad to have you, man. Glad to have you. We're going to get into your bio and who you are. But I want to start back in 2013 when you were at a charity event and you bought around a golf with a master's level golf champion. Let's start there. Yeah. Change the trajectory of my life big time. I was at a Fulzevon or Gala in Chicago. For those of you who don't know, Fulzevon or is a charity-cust-scalish of so-called soldiers and first responders families. But what I shouldn't say is I allow, but I was there for the wrong reasons. I just ended up buying around a golf with a golf celebrity not because I was passionate about the charity. I just want to play golf with Craig Stadler. What I didn't know when I bought it was I signed up to a program on Memorial Day. In 2013, I went to the Souting in Tulsa, Oklahoma and I ended up spending the weekend with the troops and the families of the Dermatome Memorial Day. I really got the meaning

2:10of what Memorial Day was. Even more so, I got understanding what these families sacrifice and not just the veterans in the military, but the family sacrifice. We all benefit from it. I kind of had this patriotic awakening in 2013, which ultimately I guess got me on your show here 13 years later. It was a big eye opener for me to see what it's all about. Why America is great, what these people do, and if I could help them, that was kind of what I walked out of there with. I bet that was something you didn't expect. Unequivably not. I thought I was going down to play golf and have some cocktails on Memorial Day and came out with a life mission that really I just wanted to raise awareness, give money and time to the charity, Fulzevonner. And so for the next I'll say two, three years, I really became an active donor to the charity. And I had this, you know, I walked out of that golf weekend. I had this, I don't

3:11want to say aha moment, but you know, and every one of us has a moment in her life where something bad happens to a parent or a child and then we get kind of passionate around that charity. So someone's got lung cancer and now I'm really passionate about lung cancer and giving money. What was really unbelievable to me was we all benefit from the sacrifices they make and we weren't all rallying around what they do for me. I mean, for me for 45 years, Memorial Day was a day off to go play golf hanging out with the family barbecue and it really didn't don't mean what the meaning of Memorial Day really was. And so that day forward, I really wanted to educate people on what everybody does and how we could help and get back. So that that's what started the journey. So I want to get more specific on what you experienced out there. So I definitely were going to spend the majority of the time talking about what the experience was with the troops. But I'm also really I'm really curious what was it like playing golf with Craig? Yeah, it's good. It is a good guy. We laughed a lot.

4:15The way that structure of the tournament was we played. There was a ton of celebrities, but it was a celebrity, a donor and a military member against another threesome that was a celebrity, a donor, a military member. So I was the donor on the team and then we had I think with Patrick Jones, who's still active in the Navy. But we got to we basically spent two days two turn two rounds of golf two days. And it was barbecues and it was parties and it was ever what you're seeing there. Seeing families come together and missing limbs and burn victims and just you know the devastation not only to the human that went through that, but how the family becomes responsible for this. And then to learn kind of what support they get when they come back. So I literally and I had a you know, I think I have a pretty decent roll of decks. I came back on Monday morning after the tournament and I wrote a letter to you know, 50 70 influential Chicago business guys I know on today. This what happened this weekend and we all need to rally around it and let's do this. And that was kind

5:17of the start of the journey. But yeah, just seeing how amazing they were and how they all put service before self. That was kind of the thing. You know, when you're on a business and you kind of very focused on your outcomes, you lose sight of putting others first. And that might have been part of my wake-up call. Like, look at what they're doing for me. And I get to do all the stuff I get to do because of them. About them. I don't get to do anything. So that was kind of the start of that for me. Was there any particular person who was in the military said you interact with the troops, but was there one or two people that you interact with that really, really like hitch in the heart? I mean one thing we played we played Sunday. We played Monday with Craig Stadler, Memorial the way to Sunday. We played a different event and I played Nancy Lopez, who's another great old-time Hall of Fame golfer. And at 1 o'clock, 1,300 hours at the place I played, they everyone stopped playing golf. They played taps over a big

6:23bell. And I looked over at the military guy and my group and he was crying. And just seeing the impact of what happens in the, I don't know, can't even understand what he's seeing that we as a daily basis don't get to see. And just the impact of how hard it is for him on something so simple just to do that. I didn't have any comprehension of the sacrifice. And so that was, you know, so I met handful people. I mean, I met Rocky Sickman, who's unbelievable human. He was in Iran hostage for 444 days. So the movie Argo, when you see the movie Argo, where they're all came in. He was a Marine. And they came in with holding kids, you know, he can't shoot back. And he ended up getting caught. It was a hostage. It was their 444 days. Came back on Air Force One. But literally what he's been through and then to talk to him and have such a positive attitude, even though I'm sure there's all sorts of demons, bunch of Navy SEAL team members. They

7:29sacrifice a lot for us. And I don't think any one of us. And I don't, I still don't think even 13 years later, I truly understand the impact that goes on from what they do. Wow. So you actually met, you actually met the guy who is, who is a hostage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I met Robo Nail too, Shep Ben Laden. Yeah. We've met a lot of people in our journey that some, that's done amazing things and some of us suffered amazing consequences. I took to one kid. This is about a year ago. And when a military member passes, you know, the government comes to the house and knocks on the door and tells the spouse. And the kid was like five and doesn't remember his dad, but he remembers his mom's reaction on the door opened. And I'm, you know, I'm almost getting choked up and cry just thinking about that. But think about that's your memory of your dad. It's just unbelievable, powerful stuff that all we can do

8:32is try to help and give back. Oh, man. I mean, I can definitely understand why you be so moved by that. And you came back, you, you made, you went through your all the decks, you identified 50 or seven businesses to help support this. But you know, back then when you first started this, what was, what was the vision? Or was it just at that time? Was it just urgency to just like the charity? Just wanted to get back became active, met amazing people, not only in the military, but also fellow donors. So we went to a lot of charity gallows and gave money and recruited people to come. And that was kind of the journey. And I guess I was doing a decent job of because I became pretty good friends of the founder, Lieutenant Colonel Dan Rooney, who founded Fools Vonner. And so he and I became friends. And so as we became along the journey, and we'll talk about my brand in a little bit, I guess, but it was his idea to start a brand that would

9:33ultimately unite America and get back to Fools Vonner. And that's, oh, that's kind of where we are today. Got it, man. Wow. So this has been going on for 13 years. Did you ever think that it's, it would become what it is today? No chance. Yeah. And I actually had joked that if I knew how hard it was, I probably wouldn't agree to do it. Back to it was actually about 10 years ago, we started the brand. But I didn't know anything about brand building. It's a current Colonel Rooney, who's major Dan at the time. Kingdom, he called me SAP, short for sapienties that he's saption of volition means. That kind of does. And not really. And he's well, it's the most powerful word in the English dictionary. It's a powerful power, it's power choice. So you can choose to be happy. You can choose to be sad. You can choose to love or hate. Just understand that the choices you make right the legacy of your life. So I thought, and if you meet Colonel Rooney or do any research,

10:36I mean, he's just an incredibly inspirational guy golf, golf, pro golf or turn fighter pilot and three tour duty, but he's an incredible speaker and the Washington speaker's bureau. So I thought it was getting like a life lesson. And he said, why have an idea for a brand volition America, choose America in a percentage of everything we sell goes back to Fultz on. So my God's cool. And he's like, well, I don't have any money. I can't use the donor money. Would you help fund it and start it? And so we agreed to start the apparel brand. And I don't know, it was like 15 or 16. And that's kind of where I kind of rolled in and infused a business strategy into an idea. And that's been the last 10 years. So I, you know, building a clothing brand was a new venture. And I've got a kind of funny stories that we'll talk about over the next whatever 30 minutes. But that's what that's how we got here. Wow. Well, I think this is a good time to give you a formal introduction.

11:39You're ready for this. So John Sappy team. I said that right. Right? Sat in T is Sappy N T. What is that, by the way? It's Italian Italian. I kind of a Sappy N T. That's, that's cool. It's, it's a lot better name than Larry. So, yeah. But man, I just want to welcome you to the podcast, man. I've been looking forward to this conversation ever since we got an email from your team. Cause you and I, we have, we have three things in common that we're going to be talking about. And we could talk about it over the next four hours. But number one, we both love America. We both have four kids that we love more than anything. Neither one of us are afraid of hard work. So you're an entrepreneur that runs two successful manufacturing companies. But really what caught my eye is what you started as a side pat passion. And you've turned it into a million dollar force for good or actually I should say two million dollar force for good. You're the founder of volition America and a peril company created alongside lieutenant Dan Kernel runny, founder of Folds of Honor. And you guys

12:43have built something pretty amazing. So volition America donates 13% of its profits to folds of honor, helping provide scholarships to families of the fallen and disabled service members. And to date, you have raised more than two million dollars for that mission. And you've done it by bringing brands like Puma, Coburgolf, Revoh, Rivo, Luminox, Unreal, and others to get around something bigger than just selling products. But one thing that stood out to me and you've already said it is it's not about politics. It's about, it's personal. And I love that. It's about America. So today I want to talk to you about what happens behind the scenes and how you scale successful businesses while still being a good husband and father that your family needs. How do we teach teach our kids about patriotism, service, gratitude, hard work, responsibility in a world that doesn't always reinforce these values, especially now. And how we how we do this as men continue to grow personally while carrying the weight of a business, leadership, marriage, fatherhood, and

13:44everything else that life throws at us. So job my friend. Thank you for coming on. This is going to be really fun. Yeah, absolutely. So you have you have four kids yourself. And the the ages again are 20 to 27, 28 to 27. I get three boys and my oldest is a girl. Okay. My princesses my oldest. That's a lot of kids in the small amount of time. Yeah. So we had four under six. Oh, that was crazy. It was a little bedlam. That that sounds that sounds a bit crazy. We we have we have four in a 10 year gap. But seven that would be that would be chaotic, I think, for most. But as far as father goes, let's just actually take your daughter first, who's the oldest? Yeah. Over the years, you know, how have you what are some of the things that you value raising a strong young confident daughter? Well, that's ultimately my goal was always to make her self confident enough that she was confident to make the right decisions and

14:46that reliant someone else. So, you know, my daughter Danielle, it was always also about finding giving her the work ethic, but finding a career that she could be self sufficient on her own. And the probess issues and the dentist here in about 12 months, she's going to graduate from the dental program on a Phoenix. But she's a cool kid. She's she's smart. She's a self sufficient and worked really hard. So most of what we'll tie back with, you know, from my side of it, I infused work ethic and being good people and, you know, family unit all getting along. And so those are really the things that were important to me. My wife on the other side was more, I had her own kind of teaching them, you know, values and family and, you know, faith and things like that. So we both brought different things to the party. But I'm pretty proud of all four kids have developed a really hard work ethic. And I think it's, you know, we talked about it, you and I have that in common, but I think

15:48it's, you can say it as much as you want. It's also what they watch. So that was a big part of our growing up. Yeah, I would love to get to the how, you know, so teaching work ethic. You mentioned in their watch, you know, so what we always say is it's not what's taught. It's what's caught. So what do you think there are some of the things that she's observed in you over the years? Well, I mean, my path is very clear from work ethic. I was, I was busy 24 seven. I was present and I did a good job of work life balance. But I mean, I left, I worked all day. I would come home. I'd be present. Then I would work again. And so they watch me work. So that was an easy thing to observe. But the I view that the expectations were set in crystal clear and consistent on being part of the family or required you to work. And so it's one thing to just tell people it versus set accountability. And this is what's expected of you. So I

16:52think that that's a big part of the the journey is teaching your kids accountability. And you know, that the other thing I push a lot is not blaming others for things that aren't working out for you. So, you know, even at work, people, you know, well, so, you know, so once I told me to do it or this or that or in the end of the day, it was their decision. So I try to teach that with my kids too. It's like, you only you're the one who returns your outcome. Someone tells you do something. You do it. It's ultimately your decision. Let me ask you one question. Does it feel like your marriage has become more about managing the schedules, the kids, the bills and the responsibilities than it feels like it's actually connected? If you're anything like me, I spent over half my marriage in that place. And what I did was as I talked more, I explained myself more, I worked harder trying to fix things. And somehow I only seem to create more distance. And maybe you feel that way too, because that's what we call roommate syndrome. But here's the truth. Most marriages don't fall apart because the men

17:55stop caring. It falls apart because we're actually never ever taught how to lead emotionally and actually create attraction. This is exactly why I created roommates to soulmates. And this is cohort three that's going to be coming up. It's an eight week program that I teach live. I personally walk you through how to stop creating pressure on your marriage, become the calm grounded leader, communicate without neediness, build real attraction, stop chasing reassurance, stop trying to fix your wife's emotions and instead become the man that your marriage naturally responds to. These are the same leadership principles that you are going to learn. Weak in and weak out in my next eight week cohort that starts on Wednesday, September 16th. And before we begin, I'm going to be hosting two free preview calls where I'll teach some of these concepts and you'll get a taste of what you're going to learn. So join me on Tuesday, September 8th at 8 p.m. Central or Wednesday, September 9th at 10 a.m. Central, whichever time

18:56works best for you. If you're ready to stop surviving your marriage and start leading it, come join us or at least check out the free call. If you head on over to the dadedge.com forward slash soulmates, you can reserve your spot for these two preview calls or simply join the next cohort. I can't wait to see you there. And again, head on over to the dadedge.com forward slash soulmates to RSVP for the two preview calls or to simply join the next cohort that starts on September 16th. Can't wait to see there. What about with what about with the boys? As a pain. I don't think I'm I don't think I'm different parent from a boy and a girl. I think I'm really consistent. We have a lot of laughs, but we also have expectations of what it means to be part of the family. And I think, you know, probably there's somewhat argue that girls need a little different to LC, but I was pretty consistent on this is what what I the way I handle

19:57my kids. And I think our kids turned out really polite and they respect adults and they work hard. And, you know, so I joke about what Cass is in her house, but then I hear other parents come and say, Oh, you got the nicest kids and I laugh. Like failing new. I'll tell you a funny story. I was like 30 years old. I was on a range and I saw somebody I knew a golf range and she had two nice kids and she was about 15, 20 years older. And I said, you're lucky. You have two nice kids and she goes, it's not luck. And I thought that was the dumbest thing I've ever heard a camp with a person said it to me. And now I look back 20 years later and it's not luck. It's, you gotta be vested. You got to put them first. You got to work really hard at giving them what they need. But also it's a fine line between giving what they need and then, you know, having them develop into normal humans too. So what has been, what has been some of the expectations and standards that you guys live by? Yeah.

20:59Nice people first and love each other. Regardless, you know, my wife was really big on that because you see these siblings that fight and don't get along is that we're all going to be friends regardless. So my wife is a superstar in that aspect of creating a family unit that all gets along. So we laugh together. I have probably the moral of accountability in our house. But I mean, that's really, it's simple. It's just consistency and then being true to your word, you know, what, what your expectations are and how to make kids do what they want. So you remove obstacles and you make it hard and easy on them at the same time, but just giving them everything they want is a problem. You know, the thing that I always, and my kids, you probably see it now at the or ages of your kids, you're driving everywhere for sports and all the things you get activities. I'll probably say, I struggled with things like soccer on Mother's Day. You know, my wife was all in the kids sports and being present for their sports and whatever.

22:00My struggle with the way that our children raised different than us was it was teaching them that their, their personal lives were more important than their mothers on Mother's Day and things like that. So I always had those discussions with them like, look, this is wrong. I'm not going to not take you, but at the same note, Mother's Day, Mother's Day, it's not she gets to go to soccer on Mother's Day because your stuff's more important. And I was probably one of the few parents that were in the minority of, you know, kids not going to be a pro athlete and teaching them right and wrong. So we really focused on not having kids that were selfish about their stuff. You know, like we had mandatory family dinner every Sunday. It was a negotiation. It was just I cooked every Sunday and that was our gig. And now let's turn into a thing where it runs. It's for dinner tonight and it's fun and you know, it's turned into a, when the kids are young, it was really hard. But now it's great. And so it's, you know, I'm hoping as we have green kids and whenever we're still a Sunday ritual that we get together.

23:01So you create rituals and family things and try to have fun together while teaching them, you know, doubt you, I guess. It's really interesting to talk about soccer on Mother's Day. So my kids don't play soccer, but my 12 year old and now 18 year old have played football for the past. My 18 year old played football for 10 years. My 12 year old has been playing football for the past three years. Flag football season is right in that, right in that spot. And the championship game playoff games, slash championship games were always on Mother's Day, always, always, always. And you know, flag football is optional. You know, you can still play tackle if you're, you know, even if you don't play flag because that's kind of like the prep season for tackle. Right. And we made the decision that we're not going to play flag football anymore because it always lands on the last game, always lands on Mother's Day. And that that day should be sacred. So you now, you know, you definitely share values like that.

24:02I love that man. The mom says it's the kids today. And I don't want to say kids today because then I sound like the old guy, the old guy now that look at your generations, I'll skirt up. But if you raise kids where all their stuff is the priority in the house, they will become selfish people that don't understand that sometimes they got to miss something. So we taught our kids that sometimes you don't get to do the thing you want because family comes first. So yeah, there's a big party or a game you wanted to go to in the city or whatever. Unfortunately, you have a responsibility to X. And I think that what I said in those balance, everything's magnitude, but it's something like a simple as soccer. I did not take on Mother's Day, but I would shake my head the entire time about these coaches and lack of awareness of what they were teaching the kids. But yeah, I agree with you. But we didn't we didn't go as far as you did with not doing it, but it's the values of picking someone before yourself. Yeah, it's fascinating because tackle football season, the, the, the second week

25:07of tackle football season, the second game weekend always falls on Labor Day weekend. And because of that, the, the, the organization doesn't do a game that weekend, but they'll do it on Mother's Day and that fascinating. Yeah. Yeah. You know, just to dive a little deeper on this. So I'm a huge fan of it. Have you ever heard of a guy named Dr. John Deloney? So he's one of, he's one of Dave Ramsey's, you know, Dave Ramsey, the total money maker over guy. He's one of Dave Ramsey's successors. And he's written several books, really smart guy. He's a psychologist by trade. But when people call in and ask for advice, he's got just real world, just amazing advice for people. And there's this clip that I actually saved it because I was like, man, this is so true. He said highly competitive travel sports is ruining the American family dinner table. I would love to get your perspective on that.

26:08Also, I don't even think there's a perspective of 1000%. Yeah. I mean, every night, every nuts, I guess, well, Sunday night evolved. Was it every night that kids were somewhere? Well, there was a practice. It was this. It was that. And so a lot of times I was running from the office just to get to a soccer field or a basketball court by by 30. So I could be in the gym or whatever and watch my kid play. And Sunday for whatever reason, we just made that our thing that every Sunday, you know, mandatory, you come up and you don't walk up the minute dinners ready. You come up an hour before and you kind of hang out as a family, which is easier now that they're older. But when they're young, it was a little more because it's more chaos. But yeah, I mean, there's no doubt that sports travel sports is nuts. I mean, I had as funny. I had to tease some of my younger friends, but I had 10 years of, I mean, I had three boys in travel basketball. So literally Saturday and Sunday, I was driving everywhere all over Chicago,

27:09trying to get to nine, 10 basketball games a weekend. And one Saturday you wake up and you have nothing to do because now they're in high school and they get their own. And it's the weirdest feeling in the world after 10 years of being nonstop everywhere. But I miss, I miss watching them play. I don't want your audience to think, oh, okay, it sucks. He doesn't like kids sports. I liked watching play. I didn't like the burden it created from driving everywhere and never having a free time. And I was always worried about how selfish it was creating the kids that their world was bigger than everybody else's. But in the end of the day, they learned competitive sports and they had a high level accountability practice. So there was a lot of good that comes from it too. I've always said, you don't show me a kid that's passionate about something and they'll be successful in life. They don't always have to be A plus students. So if they were you go back to soccer, if they were really passionate, we're tired of their craft and soccer, there was a positive light there that so to see

28:11your kids work at something and care so much was good to good to. So there's a lot of positive in to it's just everything's balance. It's always been a rule that we've had to. And that the rule is is that you have to, you have to have a battle in your life. And not that we're saying it's a bad battle, right? Usually the battle is like some sort of extracurricular. You know, it could be, I don't care what it could be for my oldest son. It was a high school marching band. And he just loved music and he can pick up anything and just play it. And you know, for him, it wasn't with a baseball, it wasn't soccer. I think we tried everything with him and he really gravitated towards music. And but he, I remember like, I was a wrestler growing up and that kind of thing. And I remember, you were really? Mm-hmm. Most CEOs and successful business people have been a wrestler. I can't remember what the person is, but yeah. But I remember having this conversation with him one time. I was, I was taking him to, I think it was a band competition like his freshman year.

29:14And he's got his, his younger brother is a highly competitive athlete. And he asked me this question. He goes, are you disappointed in me? I was like, hmm. Why would I be disappointed in you? And he's like, well, he's like, I'm in band. And you know, and Mason's a football player and a wrestler. He's like, you know, is this, in his mind, like I couldn't be proud of him. I was like, dude, I was like, I don't care what you're into. Like I just, the rule in our house is always you have to do something. And the, the other rule is to you can't do two things at the same time. So like right now, my 10 year old, he just stopped doing martial arts. He's taking a pause so he can play hockey. And he's like, can I do martial arts and hockey? I was like, no, it's like absolutely not. You have to, and by the way, for all the hockey parents out there, you live in Chicago. You know, you may or may not know this world, but hockey is like a part time job. It's crazy. And I told him I was like, you know, one thing at a time, number one, but there always has to be something. And most importantly, you have to love it.

30:15And I was like, dude, I was like, of course I'm proud of you. I was like, look, look at how much you love what you're doing. And you chase it and, and you, you practice. You, you do different things in band and, and, and your love for band has made me love band. And I was like, not only that, but like, dude, you love it. Like you come to life. Like what, what is not cool or what's, how could I possibly not be not proud of you by seeing that excitement? So yeah, I definitely get that man. That's cool. Yeah, you've got, you've got to support your kids in who they are. And there's something really interesting, which I, you cannot speak on intelligently about every DNA is different. And how you can have four kids grow up in the same house and grow up entirely different. Yeah. And so that's pretty neat to me. The discussion and to see that is that, you know, all these people are totally different. Even though they're all living the same four walls. Yeah. Yeah, I remember pushing my daughter so hard to be a soccer player. And she hated it.

31:15I remember yelling, run, Danielle, run and she would like half fast jog down the soccer field and get so mad that she wouldn't try. And then she went into dance and she just lit up and was so passionate about dancing and hip hop. And you know, it was like you said, the lights just came on and she loved it. So, you know, here I was trying to force her to be something she hated. Yeah. And, you know, it's apparently figured out. But yeah, we, we banned the, so we did travel, um, soccer and the fall tribal basketball and the winter and then I said, okay, dude, you're done. We're not doing summer because I can't just year round be driving everywhere. So the kids did fall in a winter sport, but every family is different. Whatever works for them. Yeah. I, um, it's, it's cool when you see your kids come to life like that. Like I might not be soccer, but for her, it was dance. And because she has that joy, I'm sure you do too. Kind of, kind of a funny story. Can I tell you something really funny? Yeah.

32:16I took my 10 year old to, uh, to go see the Michael Jackson movie. And you and I, um, were probably not too far off an age. I just turned 51. So we grew up with Michael Jackson. He was like larger in life when we were growing up, right? And, um, so my son sees this movie and he just like starts like practicing like all the sun, like he's like obsessed with like beat it and thriller and you can do the moonwalk now and he's like, he comes and he's like, Dan, Dan, I got, I got this idea. And I'm like, okay, what's that? And he's like, I want to do the talent show next year. So he's going to be in fifth grade. He's like, I want to do the talent show next year. I was like, dude, that's awesome, man. And he's like, yeah, he's like, I'm going to do one minute of beat it and one minute of thriller. And I was like, awesome. He's like, I got one more thing. I want you to do it with me. And I was like, are you, are you serious, man? And he's like, yeah. And I was like, he's like, I think, he's like, I think it would be such a cool memory. So we're, we've decided actually just yesterday, I called the principal because they're starting school next week. And I'm like, hey, I was like, Colton had this pretty crazy idea.

33:18And I want to run a past you. I was like, would this be cool if we did this together? And she's like, oh my gosh, it would be amazing if you did it with them. Like, how are you? So we're, we're getting like the whole thing, man. We're getting the jackets. We're getting like the freaking gloves. So you got to learn the moonwalk in the next year or whatever. Yeah, yeah. We even, we hired a coach who actually teaches this stuff. So she's going to teach us our zoom out of. That's so good. This man, but that's a great memory. You're going to have the other kids forever. Well, before we get to volition, because I definitely want to hear more about that, I would say you've been married for 30 years and years, last month. 30 years, last month, congratulations, man. Yeah. Yeah. A man who is, you know, a man of wife who's raising four kids, that's no, that's, that's no easy thing for any married couple. On top of it, running too highly successful and it sounds like high demand businesses, along with a nonprofit, how have you been able to cultivate a great connection with your

34:19wife over the years? Well, you know, the one thing we did when we were young, which looked back on it and I thought it was for sanity, but we went on a date night every Saturday. So four kids under seven, you know, and we went out every Saturday, even it was just dinner to movie. I laughed because we would get almost anybody to watch our kids, like 15 year old kid and really, hey, we babysit. And every time I came home, the kid looked like you had been through the war zone with the four kids and I would just pay extra so that they would come back the next week. But we went out every week. And so then as they got older, you know, we would go get dinner before soccer while we've dropped kids off. Or so we, we found our moments and our time to just be together with the two of us. Instead of, and that's the challenge. A lot of people run in it as they just become parents and they forget the date. And it is a journey. There is ups and downs and sideways and whatever.

35:21And it's just a commitment that you're going to do your role and keep giving back to the relationship and it's hard, but it's good. I do a lot of marriage coaching 101. And what you just said. So my wife and I have, I take off every, every Friday afternoon and we go have what we call our day-to-day. We just love to have a day-to-day. Kids are still in school. Let's go have a day-to-day. And, but if we don't make the Friday, it's a non-negotiable. We pick another day. And most of the time when I find guys really in trouble with their marriage, one of the first things I ask them, it's like one of the lowest-hanging pieces of fruit in a relationship. I was like, when was the last time you knew your wife around a date? And they'll start to think and I'll say if you have to think about it, it's been too long. And most people have been like, it's been six months, it's been a year. And, but even my kids over the years, like they've asked here and there, but now they really get it. They're like, why do you guys go out every week? And my wife, I'll never forget this, man. My wife looked at, I think, our youngest at the time.

36:22She goes, because it's really important to you that we continue to like and love each other. Right. And, I hear these stories about kids are gone and now they got to read, meet and like, it's terrible. I mean, actually, we're at a point now where it's actually, I think it's going to be more fun because now we get our journey. Yeah. And that has to, you know, deal with all the drama that comes from having four crazy kids around the house. I think that's harder in our relationship, but yeah, make time. I think we're one of the things I need to do better is we'll go to dinner and I still have my phone. So one of the things I'm going to try to do, we talked about this, was to leave my phone in the car. So that we're present because even though we're talking, I'm looking at my phone and reading emails and some of the trials and tribulations of running businesses. For all my dad, business owners out there, quick break, I need your attention because I've got something special. On September 24th at 10 a.m. and on September 25th at 8 a.m. central, both times are central.

37:2510 a.m. central and 8 a.m. central. I'm going to do something that I've never done before. I'm going to open up the doors to something that we never do. Five full-time business owner dads per call, consider and experience the dad edge business, boredroom, brotherhood for themselves. You're going to see exactly how we hold men accountable, how we operate, and some of the skills that we teach around marriage, fatherhood, business, health and actually enjoying the journey, enjoying your life, enjoying your marriage. So if you've been curious about the dad edge, boredroom, brotherhood, this is your chance. I'm going to open up five spots, their first come, first serve. All you have to do is go to the dad edge.com forward slash guest. Right there, you can schedule it. It'll lock into your calendar. You'll see the zoom link and we will see you on either September 24th at 10 a.m. central. Or September 25th at 8 a.m. central. Again, these are five spots. If you go to the link and it's closed, the five spots are already taken.

38:29Again, go to the dad edge.com forward slash guest. But those are things that people have to work on. I mean, it's just not easy, but you've got to be present and show up. Did she point that out to you or did you do that on your own? Sure. Sure, you know, hey, you're always on your phone. Yeah. And that's fine. I mean, I don't mean it's not a really bad thing in a relationship. It's just those are things, little things that maybe leave it in the car. You just do it. You're just chatting and doing your thing. But yeah, you got to make time for each other. You do. You really do. My wife and I, if I, you know, she'll, she's really good about like, not really checking your phone when I'm at one more on a date. And then I'll have my phone like, and I know better because I teach this stuff. But if I have my phone or if I look on my watch, I'm like, oh man, this is an emergency. I say that in quotes. Like she'll be, um, she'll be talking. And then she's always respectful, always kind, you know, appreciative. Like she's, she doesn't, she's not one of those wives that dig at you.

39:31And then she'll just very calmly say, I'll just wait to your done with that. And then like, that's my cue. That might be worse. It's worse. Well, that's something like, I'll just wait here while you do your thing. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But it's, it's a good nudge, you know, and she says it in a tone that's, you know, like I said, it's not disrespectful. She's not trying to nag me, but it actually makes me respect her more. And it keeps me in line too. So, but I love that. Yeah, I think the challenges are you a parent first or, um, married first, and which ones and how do you balance the two? And, you know, I was really fortunate, but, you know, like you said, you build two businesses and you got to the kids and I had a wife that supported what I did. So, I'm my basic role at night because she didn't work. Was she took the brunt of it and then I really chipped in when she had her with scent. So, it wasn't, I wasn't one of these where you walk in the door for a hard day work and my wife just handed me a kid and said, I've had them all day. Now, you get this job. I had a wife that understood that what I was doing and was support about it.

40:35So, she helped block and tackle some of the parenting duties at a higher level than I did. Because she knew that I had to be fresh during the day to build my businesses. So, there was a, you know, without that, I couldn't have done what I did. If I was up all night, even, you know, 50-50s, it would have been a lot harder on me to do what I do and I didn't end the wife, nagging me about you got to be here and you got to help with driving. So, she took a bunch of blocking and tackling off my plate to free me out. And I did a ton of, you know, five o'clock jumping out of my desk and running to the car so I could get on the field by 530 to watch the game. But I was, you know, arrived there and then as soon as 630 came, I would leave and go make my calls or whatever I had to do. So, I was fortunate that I had somebody really respected and supported what I needed in order to be able to achieve what I did. But at the same time, she was good at reeling me in and saying, you know, put it away.

41:37Yeah, we need you here. I can't imagine getting anywhere in Chicago in 30 minutes with the traffic up there, man. Exactly. Exactly. But, you know, it's funny because I was talking to my kids about it. I don't know which kid I was driving the car just like last week. And talking about it, you know, if you have a real desire, you can't do what I did if you want to coach every game and you want to be that, you know, this 100% present all the time. There's no way to leave it three o'clock in coach every game and do all the stuff I did. And I was talking to my kid about that because I've got, my boys are pretty, I want to say they've got high aspirations of their careers and where they want to go with them, and how are they want to work. And I said, do you ever feel like I wasn't present for anything? And they said, no. So I did a good job of being present, but I was definitely not the guy that, you know, was three o'clock on the fields with them and coaching in around 24-7. I was just president night and after work. So when you go back to seeing your work card and work life balance,

42:40which I think is kind of nonsense in a sense, there's a balance. Everything's in extremes, right? But there's no way you can do a 50-50 and build businesses. Yeah. Yeah, I would agree, man. And you know, it's what it would have talked, you know, I've had this conversation about quality of equality. And you know, it's always, your kids would rather have 30 minutes of, I'm here, I'm fully here versus three hours of Dad's Pretty Checked Out. Right. Yeah, that's the most important because they remember, like they remember the time regardless, but how are they going to remember the how that time was spent? Right. So I love that, man. Well, let's move over to Felicia in America. So talk to me about exactly, like, so you guys give 13% back. But there are numbers that you shared before we hit record today, like all the

43:40scholarships and all the good you guys have done. I love for you to share some things specifically that you've helped families. Well, Fultzvonner has, it's a much bigger scale, but Fultzvonner's given 330 million dollars in scholarships, 73,000 scholarships, 91 cents on the dollar, or I'll go to the recipients. And they give scholarships to the families of the disabled or fallen first responders or military members. So it's a wonderful charity. And what we've done is we've created a Dan had this idea for this brand, but the idea was to create a brand that not only raised money for them, but brought awareness. So if you look at our logo, it's a triangular shape of the flag, which is the Fultzvonner logo with wings on it. And the idea was to pick it up and take it places that couldn't go. So we started giving back so everything we sell has a good back proponent to it. And so over the, I think over the last nine years, we've raised over two million dollars for

44:43Fultzvonner. Like for 4th of July, American 250, we did a giveaway of a Jeep Wrangler and had for six weeks had people writing and nominating people at X veterans and active military that were worthy and we gave a Jeep Wrangler away to Jeff Samuels as a former Navy SEAL. So we're trying to do good. And I think the other thing that part of the brand that I think is important, you kind of talked about this earlier, the power of allition is the power of choice. So we were choosing America, but we're choosing America in a positive way and we're really trying to stay out of politics. And it was funny because rewind 2016, we started this, we were doing clothes and we're going to do half marathons and we had an opportunity to run into a Trump rally, I think it's just 2015, it's 41. And I was like, oh, sweet, 100,000 people will sell some t-shirts. It's just so be great. And I met a marketing guy so you can't do that. I'm like, why? 100,000 people's what we need.

45:44And he said, well, you're pigeonholing your brand to now be a right leaning Republican brand. And I said, well, what do I care? I got all these t-shirts I'll sell. And it was kind of the aha moment. And this is kind of me as a politically too, I'm very moderate. I don't have positive views on both sides of the aisle. And so we really decided that you could be really far left and love your country. And you could be really far right in love your country. And so what we came up with was we're not red and we're not blue, we're red, white and blue. And the ideas we're bringing people together through positive choices, volition, and uniting the country on the good things America does and not all the negative that we see in the news. And that was the brand. So we're choosing America and we're choosing to get back to those that helped us live the life we're living. And that's what the brand DNA is. And then I had to create product that wasn't the cheesy flagship. So the idea is as we create subtly branded things that feel, you know, pay a little patriotic and

46:48a little kind of coolness of military, but things you can worth 365 days a year. So we're choosing America a year long versus three holidays a year. And there's a lot more layers to those, but that's a good overview of what we're doing. That's really cool, man. That's a huge impact. You know, giving the Jeep Cherokee, obviously, to the Navy seal that you mentioned. I'd love to hear maybe even a couple more specifics about just maybe a story or how this has impacted somebody personally. Well, I mean, so Jeff Samuels is a seal team six guy. I think he's been on more seal teams than that. He's just, when every medal you could think of in the military tell the story about how he was, you know, actually blown up in the hospital for like seven months and fought his way back to go back to field of duty with his brother. So this is a guy who put service before self at a level. It's unbelievable. Then he got out and he started a charity for PTSD and his own, but I had a friend who owns a Jeep dealer and wanted to give away a Jeep to a vet. And I came up

47:54with this idea to do a national campaign where people could nominate themselves or nominate someone. And so for six weeks, we got over a thousand applicants and we read through and all our brand partners, which we can get into in a minute. We're giving away prizes. So we were doing raffles and giving things away to the nominees. And then ultimately we picked the best story, which is Jeff's. There was a lot, you know, it was hard to pick one because there were so many great people worthy of it, but we only had one Jeep to give away. But ultimately for July 4th, we gave Jeff the Jeep and then Fox and friends we awarded it to him. And it was super cool. He had no idea. He was getting it. And so he was super shocked. But it was when I chattachyb and designed a badass white Jeep with a red interior and volitionized it and my buddy brought it to life. So super cool. So it's one thing to say something and it's another thing to kind of walk to walk.

48:55And that was kind of the idea of the Jeep is how do we do things that impact people's lives and bring awareness and bring people together. And so that was the idea of it. I wish I could do more but you know, it's just as we grow we can do more and more of it. Yeah, I would love to talk about brands a little bit too, but how did you volitionize it? What'd you do? Well, it's got a volition logo. It's got all red interior. It's got the American 250 on the dashboard. It's got our logos embroidered into the seats. It's got American flags on the front on the front license plates at 1776. So we infused American and patriotism into the car. So when you look at it, even though it's just a white Jeep with red interior, it's got little subtle accents to it, which is what I call volitionizing. That's good, man. That is really cool. What was it? What was his reaction when he got the Jeep? Well, I expected it to be like screaming. He was actually really quiet. So I'm like, he had to know.

49:56And then after he was like, dude, I was so blown away. I didn't know what to say. And so we had we tricked him and told him that there was a folds of honor event and we needed his help up in Chicago and he agreed to come. And while he was at a breakfast table, we had the car position outside with camera crew. And we said, hey, our buddy just showed up. Can you help carry some stuff? And when he came out, I awarded the card to him and it was really cool. He's a good dude. That's awesome, man. That is so cool. Tell me about some of the brands that have partnered with you. Yeah. So we've got 14 brand partners from like Puma, Cobra, Forsyte. We've got a cigar line with Gurka, volition cigars. We've got Luminex watches, Bose tennis. The brands, it's really interesting because you rewind to where I had a day job, right? So Colonel Rooney, being a fighter pilot, so you know, SAP, let's make jeans, t-shirt, belt buckle in a hat. So if you visualize that out, that it's top gun, Maverick from top gun. And so he sent me on my merry way and I was supposed

50:57to go make clothes and I started researching jeans. Think of walking in a jeans store all those shapes and sizes and lengths and all the, there's no way I know how to do jeans. So I called down and like do it. I don't know how to do jeans. We're not doing jeans. It's like, okay. So he said, well, let's do golf because full of honor is really big and golf. So then I started doing research on golf and 80% of the sales in golf come from pro shops. So it was driving around with a bag of polos, pro shop to pro shop around the States. I didn't have the van with to do that either. So the more I networked and the more I learned we had a good idea, we came up with a business hot model. Maybe we could collaborate with a big brand. And what's really amazing about that is normally when you collaborate with a brand, you're bringing a huge audience. We had a logo and an idea and no audience. And we called called Puma and they fell in love with it and started the Valish America golf line. And that was our start to kind of the business model. So then we came up with this idea that we wanted to create a uniform for life. So when you put it on, it means something.

52:03Whether it's the power of volition inspires you, whether it's choosing America, whether it's giving back, we wanted to give people something when they go in their closet that they could put on. That says, this is what I stand for. When they had our logo on their sleeve, they knew and this is what I stand for. And so we created this uniform for life. In order to do that, we needed a brand partner like Merchie and Vickis and baseball or Puma and Cobra and golf or Luminox watches. And so the idea was is to create this whole bandwidth, big closet of whatever you were doing. You had something to wear. And then we rolled out our own private label and athletes year. But that was where it started. So the brand, the brands came on board early because of a business decision I made that I didn't have time. And then it turned into something really cool that we could bring all these brand partners into different segments. And we've got a lot more coming. We've actually got about all wine coming a red cab coming from the state of Washington called indivisible. And so

53:04it's just we continually reach out and add more brand partners. And what that does it's really neat is it's I call force multiplying. We are bringing in all their audiences into the volition mission and then bringing those audiences not only into the volition mission of the folds awareness or bring all those audiences to the brand partners. So from a business side, it's really interesting because Fumogolf is now picking up other areas that they wouldn't normally see those customers. So it's just really neat. We're infusing them with a great story to the brand. That is so cool, man. When does the wine release? Start bottling September 1st. So probably a month or two. Wow, man. That is so cool. You can think about it though. The idea behind the wine and the cigar was there very communal things you do with someone. So bringing people together is something we talk about a lot. And that's where so I went to play golf and I wanted a cigar and I went into the clubhouse and they had cigars there and a company CAO had just slapped an American flag on one of

54:09their cigars. No meeting, no DNA, no nothing to just wanted to sell some USA stuff. And that's what I was like, why don't we make a cigar? And I approached Gerka. There's one of the largest cigar manufacturers and they came out with the volition America private label cigars and they are they're performing unbelievably one of their best launches in the company history. So then I started thinking about other areas we could do this in. And so I approached a very large spirit of beverage company and I didn't know that there was a shortage of grapes or there's an excess of grapes in Washington, California because less people are drinking. So bringing this to them, they had a premium grapes and looking for a home. So we're coming out with a really high end cab that'll be out in the next 60 days and the idea of the same thing. Something you do with the community of people that enjoy and hang out and come together. I just so cool, man. Hey guys, come out with a beer next. No, and maybe Budweiser is a huge supporter of folds of honor. So I've

55:15always tipped out away from that. But there's all sorts of stuff that we have ideas for. Yeah, I was going to say we have Anner's Rebus in our backyard. So yeah, you know, there's a largest donor to fold to honor. That's cool. And that was my goal when I started this was to become the largest donor to fold to honor corporate donor. And so we got a long way to go. They give like five million dollars a year. And so we got some work to do. That's amazing, man. Well, dude, you're doing a really good work, man. I love what you're doing and doing it for such a good cause. I want to make sure that the guys can find you and obviously volition. And where's the best place for them to support your mission? volitionamerica.com. That's all ecommerce marketplaces. Everything we do. So go to volitionamerica.com. If you want to talk to me, you can contact customer service. They know how to get ahold of me. Okay. Well, guys, we're going to have all the links in the show notes for you.

56:15Make sure you guys check out volitionamerica.com. Also have another link in the show notes for you as well. As you guys know, we are doing the we're doing the NFL football game in Arizona. Arizona Cardinals versus the LA Rams on November 15th. You'll be able to find where to buy tickets for that day, but they are doing an entire dad-edge audience themed day. So make sure you bring your kids. It's going to be fun. It's going to be amazing. And it's going to be a pleasure to meet you guys in person. Go to the dad-edge.com forward slash 1529 for this show again the dad-edge.com forward slash 1529. John, this was awesome man. Thank you so much for coming on. Thanks for having me. It was awesome. You bet brother.