What Your Kids Learn From Watching You Eat featuring Abbey Sharp

0:00What's going on gentlemen? Hey, just a quick heads up before we get started on today's podcast. I want to give you a heads up that unfortunately today My mic wasn't turned on so my audio on my side on this particular show is Is not necessarily ideal but my producers did the best job they could salvaging it So it doesn't sound like I'm talking on a microphone in this particular show So this is your first time here. This is not the the standard for our audio quality at least on my side But at least want to give you a heads up on that versus you dive into this show and you're like why does this sound terrible? It doesn't sound terrible it's salvageable, which was good But the interview that I do today with Abby is so good and not because of me because of her like she just was an amazing guest talking a lot about body image and nutrition and even picky eaters with our kids and how we can Introduce healthy foods with our kids and even ourselves, which is really good and also hey before we get started We are right on the cusp of the next cohort for roommates to soulmates

1:01That's going to start on September 16th and if you're checking this show out today We have our preview call on Tuesday September 8th at 8 p.m. Central We want to make sure that you guys have a heads up on that and also have another preview call at on September 9th at 10 a.m. Central You guys can go to the dad edge dot com forward slash soulmates to RSVP for that if you're curious about that We've gone through two cohorts already to Nate week program that I teach live teach all about attraction polarity Not chasing your wife from needy desperate energy But from a really really good place and I got to tell you I think you guys will absolutely love this cohort If you want more information just RSVP to previews got preview calls. I'll be on there. I can't wait to meet you But I also want to give you a heads up on the audio today. So guys enjoy and thank you very much for tuning in today Welcome to the dad edge podcast the dad edge movement creates leaders of men leaders of families and leaders of communities

2:04We will not only impact this generation of fathers, but the next generation as well The kids we are raising will have better chances and odds stacked in their favor because of the amazing example that their fathers emulated for them We are here to change the world. We are here to change relationships We are here to positively disrupt this generation of fathers so no man goes to their grave with regrets We disrupt the drift of busyness and replace it with razor-focused intention Passion purpose and direction we are the dad edge and we're here to change the game Abbey Sharp welcome the dad edge so glad to have you here. Thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited to chat I am too so you I mean obviously you have a very robust background in health and nutrition and

3:09We're gonna get to your bio here just a little bit But I want to start out with something that that I think is really triggering out on the market right now And that's this whole war against seed oils and inflammation and we should be using butter and beef tally for everything and I got to be honest with you like I Definitely have fallen into that lately. So like I don't need a whole lot of chips with seed oils and but you know I've been using the beef tally but I do use still some seed oils like I use avocado oil olive oil and that kind of thing But you know, I would really love to get to that topic first So what is what is the misinformation out there right now as it pertains to seed oils? Yeah, so I mean the big kind of nutrition argument against seed oils is that they are rich in Omega six fats and the the kind of theory goes that Omega six fats are more pro inflammatory so there are four seed oils which are rich in Omega six fats are going to be Increasing chronic inflammation in the body

4:12But we actually look at the human data and there's quite a lot of it at this point We actually see that you know increasing kind of increasing intakes of Omega six fats Don't does not actually increase inflammatory markers and in some cases it has actually been shown to reduce signs of inflammation in the body especially when we're replacing Those those unsaturated fats are replacing saturated fats like butter You know your your large or beef tello things like that which are far more in vogue And so you know from my perspective as a registered dietitian I think that a lot of this is actually grounded in you know often what we call an appeal to nature's fallacy or this idea That anything man-made is automatically bad or toxic or you know, you know unhealthy or impure and anything kind of more Quonco natural like an animal fat like butter isn't inherently better or more pure and You know that nutritionally that argument does not even shake out and what I think is often actually going on is that

5:19You know what this is actually kind of more about is the kind of identity around These kinds of choices of choosing the more quonco natural option over what is more accessible? What is you know cheaper? What is found more readily in what we know are less healthy foods these ultra processed foods these deep fried foods Which do tend to lean more towards the use of seed oils because they are you know have a better smoke point they're cheaper They are more stable than the kind of saturated animal based fats. So you know bottom line I think my take home is Choose the right fat for whatever it is that you're working on Or working with whether you're baking or you're you know sauteing or you're drizzling it on a salad Different oils have different properties And just use them sparingly like it doesn't need to be your whole personality that you are anti-seed oils and all about the Carnivore you know fats. I think that you know

6:20It would actually is beneficial is to get a wide range of fatty acids in the diet rather than just relying on any one particular fat So let's let's unpack this a little bit When it comes to Like let's take a it's a like palm oil right is one cotton seed oil Is it sapphire sapphire sapphire sapphire sapphire? Yeah, canola so like canola to like those Those are oils that I've heard are not ideal So like is there a way that we could actually like if you could actually rank these by maybe most healthy to or maybe most ideal like I don't like avocados one. I know you're not supposed to cook with olive oil You know that because it it I can't remember what even the term was when you cook with it. What is this term? I believe you're probably talking about like oxidation. Yeah, has of you know the heat and seed oils are more prone to oxidation

7:20Because they're and olive oil and things like that too something because they're unsaturated fats So they have these you know unsaturated bonds which just make them more susceptible to you know light air Heat and things like that to breaking down that doesn't make them that doesn't turn them you know good fat into a bad fat And I think that's one kind of thing that people get a little bit tripped up on But even when it comes to this kind of seed oil Conversation you know we we tend to just for simplicity in in wellness culture and diaculture to lump all things into the same bucket All seed oils are bad all you know animal fats are good But seed oils and all oils and fats are not homogenous group of of of products right so every single oil has its own unique Fingerprint of nutrients and has its own fingerprint of breakdown of different fatty acids So you know, it's interesting because like we said we've lumped all these oils together cotton seed oil for example which

8:27Really is not used very often in commercial food But I would say this is kind of kind of bottom of the barrel in terms of an ideal Kind of fatty acid ratio because it has a very high Omega 6 to omega 3 ratio of 55 to 1 so that's not great So there's a lot of omega 6 to not a lot of omega 3s and it's also 26% saturated fat But if we contrast that we have canola oil which arguably is the one that gets the most hate online Which is like it boggles my mind because when you actually look at the nutrient composition is like canola oil It actually has one of the best nutrient profiles of any oil or fat Are you believe even better than avocado and olive oil because it has this excellent omega 6 to omega 3 ratio of 2 to 1 It has 64% mono unsaturated fats which are another really heart healthy unsaturated fat and only 7%

9:30Saturated fat so it's not like we can just lump these all into the same boat Because all of these different fats have unique properties and at the end of the day like I said the real issue We should be talking about is not the oil that you're drizzling on your salad or that you're sauteing your tofu and Vetched bulls in the real issue is that most of the time the bulk of the oils that we're consuming in our diet is Coming from ultra processed foods which are just Devoid of other important nutrients Got it. Okay. I definitely have a few follow questions about this because you've got me so curious I mean when it comes to nutrition. I mean this is My background as well not nearly as robust as yours But I it's like I feel like I know enough to be dangerous But I'm also one of those people where I graduated college 30 years ago So now I'm like totally confused on what I should do But one last question I have for you before I introduce you to the audiences

10:32What about oils that are kept in plastic containers like let's just take like a bottle of canola oil That's in like a clear plastic container versus like something that like I look at the other high-end olive oils Avocado oils they're in glass and they're in darker bottles to protect it from light and that kind of thing What's the whole situation there with with what these oils are actually contained in? Yeah, so the generally the reason why you might see something like an extra virgin olive oil or even like an extra virgin canola or any of those kinds of things in A darker bottle is because they are more susceptible because they have got undergone less processing They're just more susceptible to oxidation from light from heat and that's why typically we don't you know deep fry with Extra virgin canola oil or extra virgin olive oil or avocado oil But we might be able to deep fry with you know a Like a like a sunflower oil or you know a non extra virgin kind of canola oil or something like that

11:35And so you know, I don't think that we can say necessarily that oh a plastic bottled canola oil is toxic But one in a glass dark container is not it's it's it's not that simple. They have different kind of uses I would say And you know at the end of the day like I said we ideally want to be heating our oils as minimally as possible a avoiding deep fried foods especially you know Fried fried foods and commercial fryers that have been heated and cooled and heated and cooled and heated and cooled over and over and over and over and over again That is typically where we start to see the risk of kind of oxidation of these oils um Which is kind of one of the big arguments against seed oils But again that that doesn't that that's not a concern when we're talking about drizzling canola oil on top of our salad Or sauteing our vegetables for you know eight minutes in canola oil

12:36Um versus like I said deep frying french fries that a chip truck that has been using the same oil for like two weeks Got you okay Just one other question for you though because again you got my curiosity as roll one on this You know they they market avocado oil as the high heat oil like you can cook with this you know better than most I don't I don't even know if there's any truth to that But um when it comes to these oils if you were to rank the top three that can Take some heat without oxidizing What would the best oils did to use? Hmm That's a great question I would have to I don't have a list of the smoke points in front of me But generally speaking you know you can cook with canola oil you can cook with avocado oil you can cook with um Um Olive oil Um those are typically my three cooking fats um and then you know if I want the flavor of butter for example

13:38I'm making like grilled cheese or I'm making pancakes and I really want that buttery flavor I'll add a little bit of butter in with my canola or avocado oil Um to prevent the the butter from burning because you probably you know Anyone listening at home has ever tried to make a whole batch of pancakes with just butter alone You probably have experienced that butter burning really super duper quick. So um doing a little bit of a combination Can be a really weight really good way to get a bit of the flavor Um, but of course still um kind of the the higher smoke point Of of some of the the plant-based oils Got it. Okay. And is it also true that you really shouldn't cook with extra virgin olive oil You can absolutely cook with extra virgin olive oil I think that is one of those myths um and again, I mean it's up to you It depends again how much how expensive your extra virgin olive oil is um and if you prefer to Save that extra virgin olive oil extra virgin olive oil for when you actually can like you know experience the flavor for example in a vinaigret

14:42But you can absolutely heat extra virgin olive oil you can saute in it Um again, we generally just want to avoid the the the the very high heat and prolonged heating of deep frying with with with these oils over time Got it. Okay Let me ask you one question Does it feel like your marriage has become more about managing the schedules the kids the bills and the responsibilities Then it feels like it's actually connected If you're anything like me, I spent over half my marriage in that place And what I did was as I talked more I explained myself more I worked harder trying to fix things and somehow I only seem to create more distance And maybe you feel that way too because that's what we call roommate syndrome But here's the truth Most marriages don't fall apart because the men stop caring it falls apart because we're actually never ever taught How to lead emotionally and actually create attraction This is exactly why I created roommates to soulmates and this is cohort three that's going to be coming up

15:45It's an eight-week program that I teach live I personally walk you through how to stop creating pressure in your marriage become the calm grounded leader Communicate without neediness build real attractions stop chasing reassurance Stop trying to fix your wife's emotions and instead become the man that your marriage Naturally responds to These are the same leadership principles that you are going to learn Week in and week out in my next eight-week cohort that starts on Wednesday September 16th and before we begin I'm going to be hosting two free preview calls where I'll teach some of these concepts and you'll get a taste of what you're going to learn So join me on Tuesday September 8th at 8 p.m. Central or Wednesday September 9th at 10 a.m. Central whichever time works best for you If you're ready to stop surviving your marriage and start leading it come join us or at least check out the free call If you head on over to the dadedge.com forward slash soulmates You can reserve your spot for these two

16:48Preview calls or simply join the next cohort I can't wait to see you there and again head on over to the dadedge.com forward slash soulmates to RSVP for the two preview calls Or to simply join the next cohort that starts on September 16th Can't wait to see there We're going to dive into so much more But so I can't wait for this, but you know, thank you for that information. There's so much so much out there Even somebody like myself who's who's got a background on this I'm like I mean, there's been so much like so I went to college in the 90s and You know the big thing the big rave there was fat free, you know, I've been able to spat free, right? And then the rave was like the zone diet and now you know, then it was uh I can't remember but now we got like carnivore and we've got vegan and we've got this We got that and like oh my gosh. There is like there's so much out there And if you had the internet on top of that There is so much confusion out there. So All right, so everybody gets an intro. So first of all Abby like I've been looking forward to this conversation for a while If it's let's be scheduled it so I mean selfishly

17:50I'm a dad of four boys. I feel like nutrition somehow became more His now more confusing than ever, but you know like one person is telling us the carbs and other one is telling us uh that meat is killing us Carbs are killing us someone else on tiktok Apparently says surviving on sunlight and supplements and cold plunges is the way to go So today we're going to cut through all those noise. So who are you? You are a world renowned registered dietitian your best-selling author a TV personality Host of bite back with Abby Sharp You're also the CEO of Abby's kitchen And you've built an audience of over 2.5 million people Becoming known as the internet's no BS dietitian But you know, honestly here's what I really appreciate about what you're doing You're you're calling out the pseudoscience the misinformation the diet culture insanity And you give people really good practical tools what they can actually use You also just released a book natu-tiered for the long go called the hunger crushing combo

18:52And today what I'm most excited about is we're gonna get really practical We're not gonna talk we're gonna talk about how we raise healthy confident kids in the skinny tiktok era Without accidentally destroying their relationship with their food or their body We're also gonna talk about how in the world are we gonna feed an entire family Without making dinner feel like a second time job. I know me and my wife man. We we feel that And most importantly what it looks like to hit her nutrition goals But what I definitely want to unpack is we don't talk nearly enough about is how the diet culture Is affecting men. I think for a long time we focused on on women Because we become you know obsessed with biohacking to the point where being healthy quote-unquote can Quietly turn into disordered eating so I'm really excited about this and to be honest with you what I really love to do is selfishly start with What this is doing to men and all this biohacking so what do you see and I'm really interested in what you see Especially from a woman's perspective because I know

19:55From a man's perspective, you know, I can definitely understand why so many women grow up with Image issues. I think we have probably a culture now more men who are Who have image issues and body issues to use but but what do you see? Yeah? You know I think like like you kind of alluded to traditionally, you know, diet culture has been seen or eating disorders Have been seen as like a female problem But you know what we've what we know and especially now in you know an age of looks maxing and things like that is Diet culture and men doesn't always look like traditional dieting to lose weight because you know in 2026 now It's being repackaged as Optimization is discipline performance masculinity or like this whole looks maxing thing and that it really does make Disorder eating a lot easier to normalize and harder to recognize both internally and even for clinicians to to kind of track as well

20:56And so, you know, you know We see that perhaps that the male body ideal might not be kind of just simply to be thinner But it's to be lean and muscular so a lot of male eating disorders can involve, you know Compulsive compulsive protein intake fear of gaining fat cycling between restriction and overeating Rather than just kind of the more streamlined pursuit of a very low body weight ideal and with this whole looks maxing Trend we've seen over the past couple years It's really diet culture with just this male coded vocabulary So, you know, there's talks about body fat percentage jawline visibility facial leanest aesthetics height muscle proportions Testosterone like all of this is framed as problems that require non-stop optimization and so you know And unfortunately this kind of pursuit of health and performance It provides this kind of social cover for restrictions. So while a man may be

22:02Severely limiting food and obsessively tracking macros and avoiding restaurants Exercising compulsively They are being praised for being disciplined or healthy or committed to the gym or just being like a man, right? And so a lot of the time unfortunately, you know, must Muscularity oriented, disordered eating and e-musorders get completely overlooked And that's because unlike traditional disorder eating or even disorders In in women where we see young girls or women shrink before our eyes If the goal is to get quenkel bigger People assume it's a healthy it's a healthy behavior. It's not you know, it's it's not necessarily looked at as a problem the same way that shrinking is for for women But at the end of the day, you know This it might be different language where you know women's dichulture might say take up less space and and male

23:03Diculture might be saying, you know be bigger harder leaner stronger more dominant, you know, never stop improving always optimizing It's a different aesthetic But the underlying message is that your unmodified body is inadequate and your identity is tied up in that body And it's unfortunately like you know, men are just less likely to be able to identify themselves as having an ED and therefore unable to get the help that they desperately need Can you explain I have never heard the term looks maxing Oh, yeah, I mean, I guess with four boys. Maybe I kind of like live under a rock sometimes, but what exactly is that So it's the way I see it. I don't know if you've heard like the term skinny talk, which is very common It's a it's a subculture on on you know social media tech talk instagram looks maxing is basically the male Kind of a kind of equivalent of that is online communities are treating attractiveness as essentially like a hierarchy

24:10That determines romantic and social success And so you know at the most benign early kind of dabbling Kind of take teasers of looks maxing one might come across online You might see you know an influencer talking about their work at routine or You know, there's supplement stack or something like that But at them as it gets more and more extreme as we know you know algorithms tend to lead us into some pretty dangerous rabbit holes often Through algorithmic escalation It can even you know you even dabbles into some of the kind of more manosphere Kind of spaces Red pill communities Insell communities things like that. So it does have the The risk of going from a kind of benign like oh, what's that guy's work at routine? He looks like he knows what he's doing in the gym to

25:11A complete eating disorder to you know potentially like hating women believe it or not I know that sounds pretty extreme and and maybe to some sounds like I don't know a conspiracy But but you know we we are seeing that that pattern emerge in these spaces unfortunately So Can you really personal with you? Yeah, okay I've definitely fallen into that. I'm like a lie. I mean, I just turned 51 But also like my background is like I said sports med with nutrition Working out taking care of my body has always been really important to me for the past 30 years and in fact, you know, I was a very overweight kid like super unethylic um really Terrible in sports girls found me repulsive like I mean like the online yards believe all kinds of stuff And I found I found working out. I started wrestling in high school and then I found like fitness

26:14And I lost when I was 17 I lost about 60 pounds and just felt like on top of the world and I've been able to actually sustain My that same weight over the past 30 years and just to you know I definitely fall into the excuse me the trap of uh And this that that's that's really what my question is is like is it a trap because like um I do take really good care of my body I eat insanely clean um I move my body every day in some way shape or form not not not to punish myself But to to move like especially my it's like I'm really interested in energy mobility And just feeling good to have energy for my kids um and also I have fallen into that trap. I was talking about this with another podcast about how to rewire the brain Of like I think a lot of my motivation over the years has come from Fear of getting fat again And so like year round, you know, it's for the past three years. I have sustained under 10% body fat year round

27:15And it's it's kind of crazy, but like I I said this for the first time and in 11 years of doing this podcast like I'm admitted to this woman those interviewing. I was like if I don't have if I can't see all my abs I feel like I'm out of shape like I've it's just it's it's a mind-boggle for me um But at the same time You know Is there a healthy balance there? So like for instance That's one thing that drives me, but I find you know the more fit I am The more energy I have for my kids like I'm running around the playground with them playing wiffle ball with them for you know two hours at a time You know, we we me and my kids they they all four of my boys actually love to work out and we'll do like these fun Like little outdoor workouts and that kind of thing And I honestly think this is going to trigger a lot of guys I think there are too many fat dads out there that just accepted the fact That I have a dad bod and that is that's the new norm and This is what I should be in fact. I think a lot of guys swing to the other pendulum of like well if I'm a fit dad

28:18Then there's guilt there Maybe even some shame of like well, maybe I'm taking too good to care myself and not taking care of my kids my wife But what I have found is The more fit I am and I don't have to be like you know Like looking like I'm gonna go on stage or something like that competing in a show or something like that to feel good But I do feel at the times where I have swung to the other pendulum because there there have been times where the years where I've gained 30 pounds But I feel horrible like even physically mentally emotionally and not because necessarily like that I'm fit chaining myself around I just don't have the energy that I normally do that when I'm really fit so Is it my question really boils down to is there a balance there That men can maybe gravitate to like so it's like you see this guy online you're like well I'm probably not gonna look like bad, but then again Maybe that's not my ideal, but then again I don't want to let myself go because these other things really suffer I I've never been able to find out what that balance is. I feel like I do have somewhat of balance

29:22But I do also tend to like really push myself hard at times too. Does that all make sense? It's a lot there it all makes sense and and I hear this very often so thank you for sharing and and you're absolutely not alone in that struggle Especially if you've come from a history as a child of you know struggling with your weight Perhaps being teased for your weight. I mean these are These are core memories that that that kids carry with them their entire lives And it absolutely does plan impact of a huge impact in one's relationship with food as they as they you know Become adult so I think that the balance here is about of course caring for your body Without making you know, it a referendum for you know on your worth. So essentially like ask yourself You know does this act of self-care does this you know healthy behavior? Does this working out? Does this diet? Does this improve and add to my life as a whole? Or does it turn my body into a full-time job which eventually ends up kind of shrinking my life in other ways because perhaps

30:26You know, I I feel so guilty about you know gaining 10 pounds on that holiday that I want to stay staying for two weeks I don't want to go out to the restaurant or celebrate my birthday because I'm afraid of you know The food being served is not on my diet. I don't want to go out for ice cream with my kids because you know I it's not on my plan things like that. So you know a healthy kind of litmus test might be That hey, you know I prefer to Look a certain way. I prefer to be you know at a certain body weight where I can you know feel my best But I can still eat normally. I can miss a workout. I can be photographed even on my you know Not hottest days. I can go with friends even if I don't know what's on the menu And I can feel okay in my body Even if it doesn't kind of quote you know look perfectly or I you know for you know like what you said earlier like I don't see every single one of my abs and I think this becomes you know

31:26Particularly important when we have kids because kids learn by watching us especially boys but men you know dad to boys because a lot of the body image messaging that young boys are getting or absorbed long before Any one of their friends explicitly tells them how they should look right kids notice everything Notice when adults constantly criticize their bodies when they talk about needing to burn off food when they praise weight loss When they obsess over protein or lean-ness or they compare themselves to somebody online or or or you know Treating exercise as a punishment We don't want our kids to internalize the exercise is something that you have to do to you know earn a treat or work off something that you ate the day before And even if the you know comments you're making are not directed at your child which of course I would hope that they're not Even if they're directed towards you They're teaching our kids that your body is a project your appearance determines your worth and food or exercise are

32:34The key tools for like fixing yourself And so you know that modeling might not look like classic die culture to to boys But it may sound like you know, I need to get shredded I'm getting soft carbs are bad real men need to be strong or the commentary You know about height muscles attractiveness things like that um and so It creates this pathway into the same mindset that we were talking about earlier with the looks maxing because this is what looks maxing exploits Which is that there's always another flaw to correct you know once you you get the jawline then you know The abs need to have more definition once the abs have more definition then your glutes need something you know to work And so I think the healthiest model here is not pretending that appearance never matters because you know We live in a world that you know for better or worse it is kinder to attractive people There's plenty of data on that there's so much data on The the kind of thin privilege or pretty privilege that that folks are or granted when they live in a socially

33:40You know desirable body But we want to show our kids that you can care about You know your health you can care about your body without it ruining or whatever Without it running your entire life and that means eating flexibly Exercising for multiple reasons beyond weight loss or what it looks like to your body Taking rest without guilt or shame or having to compensate later Not commenting on your body or other people's bodies And also treating any changes in your weight or shape or aging or puberty as normal Rather than kind of emergencies because you got boys and boys and girls as they go through puberty Their bodies are going to change rapidly and it is going to be very very scary for kids If we are not reinforcing that body changing at any age and stage is very very normal And not something to be feared or you know automatically try to undo

34:41That makes a total sense that I think you just struck Probably the best balance possible, you know I even look at my own boys who they're 2018-2010 And They're always like you know they come up to me and they're like dad like look you know and like and stuff like that and And One thing I've always tried to reinforce with my boys is like Take care of yourself so you can take care of yourself and others, you know like so like for instance my My 20-year-old is now an EMT so he's that he's driving an ambulance. He's Having to lift very heavy people, you know, he's got to be physically fit He's going to go to the fire academy as well. So he's going to be a firefighter long term And one of the things that he really focuses on is I need to be fit for my job You know because my job is demanding Um, I'd love to ask you a personal question about your own lifestyle if you're comfortable with them Sure Okay, so I only see you from the head up or the neck up you look like a very healthy fit person

35:43So I'm guessing that's probably pretty accurate, right? Yeah, so um I would love to know Like in your mind Because you you work with a lot of clients You're obviously extremely knowledgeable when it comes to this stuff And in a day in a life or like a week in a life of Abby, right? I would imagine you eat pretty healthy But the story I'm also telling myself I'm just making an assumption here that you probably give yourself permission To maybe go have your birthday cake or to eat a pizza with your kids if you want to or whatever else But what is the balance that you try to strike and then there's a follow-up question to this Like let's just say you eat healthy, you know, Monday through Friday But Friday night you decide to go out and have that pizza Is there anything like even in the vacuum mind especially like as a woman That I shouldn't eat this or after you eat it there's guilt or there's I don't feel good about myself or anything like that I know it's a really personal question, but have fun for you to answer that yeah

36:45Okay, well there's a lot to unpack here Well, I think I need to start by saying that you know One of the reasons I came into this particular area of nutrition was based on my own experience in my teenage years With an eating disorder called orthorexia And orthorexia is you know, unfortunately on the rise right now unlike you know traditional anorexia, which is you know all about restricting as many calories as possible Transitioning your body as much as possible orthorexia is basically clean eating taken to an extreme So it's all about you know fear about specific foods being bad It's you know basically the entire narrative of diaculture and wellness culture right now um, you know taken to a disorder or it kind of level and so I It took of course years for me to undo the psychological kind of damage of that that that eating disorder And I'm very Kind of gracious to have really made a recovery in and you know worked with amazing people to help facilitate that

37:50This was 20 years ago now But what has really helped me with is what I've now You know trademark does my signature framework the hunger question combo method because you know what we know is that You know all those diets that people prescribe or you see online whether it's keto carnivore You know Rato for Intrink fasting whatever it may be These are all telling us to cut something out to restrict to remove something to deny ourselves Whether that's total calories like you need to just cut a lot of calories out or to restrict yourself of specific foods that You know you find joyful or and you know you wouldn't like whether that's carbs or sugar or you know very specific foods for me It was cereal which was in my head like the Minemasis because if I knew if I got my hands on cereal I would just binge on it basically yeah, I think that's what happens when you put yourself in a state of scarcity mentality You always will hyper fixate have food noise obsess have cravings and then of course to the of course binge and then basically throw in the towel

38:54And then what we see then is then of course this this cycle that people get stuck in where they Restricted so hard that eventually they binge they feel guilty So that they pull the reins even tighter were strut harder and that just perpetuates the cycle because We have all these different Biologically programmed compensatory mechanisms in our body and our brain to get us to return back to status quo when we're in a state Of scarcity and deprivation and so the hunger question combo method really flips this script because it works with Our biology and our psychology to think about adding not taking away And this is a little mindset shift. It's a little hack But it makes all the difference in the world And so you know What this means is that we're really going to focus on adding fiber protein healthy fats These are the hunger question compounds that are going to keep you satiated longer They stabilize our blood sugars they keep us they quiet that food noise and with the research tells us that as that they can help us reach our

39:56Healthiest happiest weight without that scarcity mentality that's going to trigger a binge And so for me it means not Getting to the point of restricting any food where I am having this insatiable appetite for selling where I'm having the food noise where I'm having the cravings until I just basically binge and end kind of overeat I allow myself these foods and it's the mindset. I'm allowed to have them my I've got eight Eat jars of different kinds of ice cream in my freezer right now. I just had a big party I have tons of ice cream I've got chips in my pantry. I've got chocolate. I got a whole bag of candy I know I have access to these things. They're not off limits to me But I also because I've gotten rid of that huge mental burden of the food noise I now have space to actually collect data on how different foods make me feel The and I know that from lots of data collection now that having a diet rich in fiber protein healthy fats feels better. I have better energy. My mood is better. I'm you know

40:59My concentration and kind of cognition is better. My digestion is better things like that And so I know that if I want to have some of these kind of more fun foods What I call naked carbs in in my book I simply just kind of focus on Dressing them up most often with these hunger crushing compounds So for me that was like when I was struggling with my obsession with sugary cereal like oh my gosh If the sugary cereal is around I'm going to binge I'm gonna eat it all Well, what do I do now? I have a bowl of Greek yogurt for some protein I throw some berries on there for some fiber I maybe throw some nuts or some seeds on there for healthy fats And then I add my fun kind of cereal right on top And I get the satisfaction of having the food that I'm craving So that I don't need to binge on sugary cereal But I know that I'm going to feel more satiated longer. I'm going to have better energy stabilization And I'm not going to be thinking about that that forbidden food and robbing myself of the ability to actually listen to my body

42:01I don't know how to love that for all my dad business owners out there quick break I need your attention because I've got something special On September 24th at 10 a.m. And on September 25th at 8 a.m. Central both times are central 10 a.m. Central and 8 a.m. Central I'm going to do something that I've never done before I'm going to open up the doors to something that we never do Five full-time business owner dads per call Consider and experience the dad edge business boredroom brotherhood for themselves You're going to see exactly how we hold men accountable how we operate And some of the skills that we teach around marriage fatherhood business health and actually Enjoying the journey enjoying your life enjoying your marriage So if you've been curious about the dad edge boredroom brotherhood This is your chance. I'm going to open up five spots their first come first serve All you have to do is go to the dad edge dot com forward slash guest

43:01Right there. You can schedule it. It'll lock into your calendar You'll see the zoom link and we will see you on either September 24th at 10 a.m. Central or September 25th at 8 a.m. Central again. These are five spots if you go to the link and it's closed The five spots are already taken again go to the dad edge dot com forward slash guest So protein healthy fats fiber. Yeah, you're definitely speaking my language. Okay. I love that combination too of It's not deprivation, but maybe it's more integration and upgrade. So like having your You know, maybe quote unquote, you know, not so great choice in cereal, but like I'm just gonna use this as a topping Unlike what I used to do is you used to sit there and eat an entire box of golden grams when I was a kid. Yeah Yeah, so that's why I smiled and laughed when you talked about the cereals like oh my gosh, that was my nemesis You know, girl, that was the cereal um I want to switch gears and I know in the intro. I listed some things that we were talking about

44:05But Something came up for me that's completely off topic of what one things we were talking about but I am I am really keen to get your feedback on this one What is your view of the GLP ones? So I mean, this is a very big loaded question in a community tire five part series, but very top level I think that the GLP when these these medications are going to be absolutely life changing They are life changing for so many folks who they're indicated for um Especially those who have you know struggled with lifelong food noise like I've kind of alluded to earlier and you know We're we're we're still trying to we're still learning about you know particular genes that make make some people more prone to You know food preoccupation than others, but there are lots of reasons for this persistent food noise that folks may be dealing with not to mention You know we live in a world where you know hyper palatable food is very you know Very accessible. There are food choose everywhere. There are various other life circumstances that can make

45:11You know those kind of more hyper palatable foods. What is accessible to you and things like that But I would say that you know for folks who have been dealing with with weight Concerns their entire lives whose basically their entire mind is Overwhelmed with the cognitive Mental gymnastics of this food noise this can really be a A relief valve for them where they can finally have the space in their life for other acts of self-care Whether that is to be able to actually listen and collect data on how those foods make them feel They're able to you know integrate more movement. They're able to kind of get therapy They can you know focus on their sleep stress management Things like that building nourishing meals when they're not completely bogged down with the food noise that have has plagued them their entire life So I I'm very much in support of of these medications for the right people Having said that there is no question that these medications have been will be are being

46:11over prescribed abused misused And I think as a whole I worry on a social kind of level that It may actually further increase you know fat phobia Weight stigma for folks who choose not to opt in to the gel pee one journey For various reasons maybe they're contraindicated maybe they you know they they can't for they don't want to they can't afford it Doesn't work for them things like that And so I worry about the the kind of the life You know that folks in larger bodies who do not want to be on gel pee ones are now going to be facing And I also worry about just the hyper normalization of ultra thin bodies Um as we see kind of in you know hollywood social media things like that now that thinness is just So transactional so to speak so readily available

47:13Yeah, it's I know it's something that a lot of people are doing right now. It's like this huge craze for it um Between Sama good semi glutein trizipotide Uh register tied Are there is there ones one of those that you like more than the other Well, they really really are just building on one another and so I mean ret we still of kind of you know We're still waiting on more more research and things like that um, but you know basically it's just uh A building of peptides one on top of the other that is you know potentially going to just increase effectiveness and so you know We likely will see with ret that we're going to have even greater weight loss outcomes Then we've seen with terseptide or some of gluteide um, but at the end of the day like these are conversations between You know your prescriber your health care provider and you based on your specifics

48:14The tuition your needs some people can can't tolerate one, but they can tolerate another and you know get side effects on one But not on the other so that there is going to be a trial and error and it might not be as simple as oh This one's just better than this one. It's going to be well. Which one is better for you god, okay I want to go back to just daily nutrition and let's even maybe put this in through the lens of you know dads and and yourself with your two boys um I've always heard and I definitely subscribed to this to ensuring starting your day With protein not not only protein, but but making sure that it's not the bowl of you know, fruity pebbles, right What when it comes to you feeding your boys or what you recommend, you know parents feeding their kids What have you found that's ideal to start their day with it gets gets the mind right the body right um You know, keeps information in check. I mean they're gonna be in school and that kind of thing

49:17What what do you feed your boys? Would you recommend feeding feeding kids? Yeah, I mean ultimately this is going to come down to what works for your family and you know What you can afford what their preferences are what dietary restrictions you may have, but you're absolutely right You know, there is tons of research, you know, not just specific to kids, but you know, especially for adults of the importance of Having a solid amount of protein in your morning meal It helps to stabilize blood sugars energy levels It helps with kind of more sustained satiety so that we're not seeing big food cravings later on in the day So but with kids specifically especially when we're talking about like younger kids Kids have very high carbohydrate needs as well. So you know, I know the world right now is obsessed with protein maxing everything But children specifically actually have relatively low protein needs believe or not You know, they actually have very high carbohydrate needs like 50 to 65% of their total energy should be coming from carbohydrates

50:20So we don't need to be putting our kids on a low carb diet Whenever possible We want to choose more whole grains or higher fiber, you know fruits and vegetables as our carbohydrates Because of course fibers very important for gut health for regularity for satiety But generally speaking in the morning I mean some kids are not really breakfast kids and I and I understand that but I love to try to get a hunger-crushing combo in With at least a good amount of protein and some fiber rich carbs. So you know, that could be Some Greek yogurt or cottage cheese with some berries on top Maybe a little bit of kind of nut butter toast with some banana on top and now you can buy the kind of higher protein Breads and things like that if you if you've got a picky kid Obviously eggs are a fantastic choice But I also acknowledge that a lot of parents in the morning are rushing out the door They don't have it they don't have the time to bust out a pan and fry eggs or things like that

51:25So you know, that's where I think that the Greek yogurt or the The cottage cheese you can make a smoothie with Greek yogurt and berries and some nut butter or hemp hearts We put hemp hearts and basically everything in my home because it's a really great source of omega-3 and Protein but it has a very neutral flavor and so it kind of just like you know blends into anything chia pudding is also a really great option If your kids can you know likes chia's but if even if they don't like chia the the chia chia flavor or texture You can blend it and it's a lot more agreeable for kiddos um But don't be fearful of carbs if that means this is what this kind of hunger-crushing combo method is all about the dressing up of naked carbs So you know, don't be afraid if especially you've got young kids who are picky don't be afraid to add Some sprinkles on top of that yogurt to get them excited about eating it Don't be afraid to put some chocolate chips in their oatmeal if that is going to get them to finish that bowl You know so kids have like I said very high carbohydrate needs

52:28There's a lot of wiggle room in their day for more naked carbs than Perhaps you were I which we need to kind of focus on getting more Concentrated nutrient bank for a caloric buck kids kind of need a lot of calories in a small package if that makes sense So it's almost like you know um a bit of an opposite situation is I mean I'm talking especially with younger kids Where their energy needs are very high and a lot of parents will say well my kid just lives on air They basically eat nothing But their energy needs are very high so we need to kind of pack those calories in to small meals So that might mean adding more fats like peanut butter nut butters tahini avocado oils butter do not be afraid to add a sauce or dips and things like that um and Likewise, don't be afraid of carbohydrates even if they prefer white rice to brown rice or white pasta to brown pasta

53:29At the end of the day that's not going to be the challenge Just try to add in other sources of fiber and protein into that meal Got it. Okay I love how you dress up these these foods Because I think a lot of us think it's all or nothing It's like no you have to have uh just Greek yogurt not that I Oh, and eat I actually put that on my baked potatoes instead of sour cream but Um, but yeah, I liked how even adding in like the sprinkles or the the chocolate chips or just it's again It's integration and upgrading. Yep, so I love that Uh last and final thing I have for you the dinner table This is like in our house the nemesis So um we have four boys All of them have their own Like we have one kid that like loves rice. Yep. Another one that can't stand it One kid likes mac and cheese. Another one can't stand noodles

54:29Right one likes chicken the other one We have one kid that like loves salmon and the rest of the boys won't touch it So it's like my wife she she You know she she does some we we were like 50 50 with cooking my wife in particular self-identifies as a really bad cook She's like not only do I hate cooking But then like the cleanup so we all help clean up But she's like even the cleanup is overwhelming and then I have at least two people in the family that complain about what I make So like that's like I think that's seen and she's like and I cannot stand even though we both do this She's like I have to make three different meals for dinner and that drives me just as mad as making one thing for dinner and these kids don't like it So I don't know if there's a straightforward answer on that But like have you found like just any Solutions for people like myself and I'm sure there's a ton of guys in the audience who deal with the same thing like what? What's what's like a simple straightforward thing we can do with that? Yeah, so I mean we can't change our kids and we might not even be able to change their their you know

55:35Immediate preferences that in any one particular meal, but you know the best practice, you know for feeding kids Without fights so to speak is something called the division of responsibility or the S store and this was developed by Ellen Satter who's you know basically regarded as like the godmother of infant and child and teen Feeding she's got so many great references and lots of books for different, you know life stages for for kiddos But basically what the division of responsibility states is that as parents We are responsible for the what when and where meals happen and then kids are going to control How much they eat of those things air whether they eat at all which I know is scary for parents to hear But the the basic the the underlying premise here is that we we don't want to pressure our kids We don't want meal times to be a fight especially with younger kids who are still trying to you know

56:35build their relationship with meals and build a relationship with food We want to make it as enjoyable and safe and calm as possible And so what that would mean in a situation where you of course you've got multiple kids with different preferences and things like that Is that I generally you know, I don't recommend being a short order cook because who has the bandwidth for that and you know at the end of the day Your wife or you or whoever it is that's doing the cooking She or you have to also like not hate meal time because you are modeling to your kids that meal times Are miserable and meal times should be enjoyable meal times you know is family time There's so much great evidence about the benefits of a you know family meals. We want to Make meal times feel like a safe place something that people look with the family looks forward to And so um in in this situation is to basically ensure that there's one safe food on the table For each child to fall back on meaning they're not going to necessarily all eat the rice

57:42They're not all going to eat the salmon. They're not all going to eat the broccoli But there's got to be one thing on that table that Even if they are completely repulsed by everything else or they only want to eat a small amount of everything else Then they can at least fall back on and feel like they can feel confident that they're going to be able to Fill their stomach. They're going to be able to fit you know have confidence in that meal that They're safe in you know in in that uh in the meal time experience and That that can be really hard for a lot of parents to relinquish this kind of control when perhaps there's their use to Bribing and fighting oh eat one more bite But all of this just heightens anxiety around food especially for young kids like I said who are going through picky eating phases And even though it seems crazy for an adult to think that you could be scared of broccoli You know in these picky eating phases that kids are very normally going through It can feel life or death and so when you are creating an ultimatum

58:46They are having an internal freak out that just completely Prevents them from being open to trying any other food whether that meal or it future meals because now the experience is already Rife with you know with anxiety and tension and you can't be open to trying new foods Or having a good experience around foods when you're arriving to the table feeling anxious and scared and so this is the long game And you know a lot of people really especially you know This is what die culture tells us that we need to hyper focus on the food dies We need hyper focus on the the sugar. We need hyper focus on you know how much protein our kids are getting We need to think about the long game of fostering a healthy relationship with food. I care Far less about how much vitamin C my kiddo got ep breakfast on a Tuesday Then him having a healthy normal relationship with food and body when he gets older when he's not in my home

59:47Where I can't do the offering of a variety of different foods where I you know And so our job is not to micromanage intake. It is to create the conditions where these Coctin eating skills can develop at age appropriate stages I love that. I love that. You know I'm even going back to my childhood Where I hated spinach hated it And I'll never forget I think I was like five or six years old It was like that you know the audio video turns on you have memories And my mom was just be reading me at the dinner table to eat my spinach And I will never forget I was like literally trying to choke the stuff down And I was like am I mom was like give one more bite give one more bite if you don't eat that you can't have dessert So I literally put this last bite of my mouth and I ended up puking all over my plate and then she was pissed And I still remember like the anxiety that I felt like the the heaviness that I felt like just trying to choke that down Because I wanted like my Nestle crunch bar. What are we if I was going to have afterwards

1:00:48But um This was awesome and it the thank you so much for coming on and And sharing all this this was a really really impactful. So I want to make sure all the guys can find you And everything that you're doing what what are the best places and resources? Well, definitely you can check out my podcast biteback with Abby Sherp And that's also um, you know, I've got a YouTube version as well if you that's more your vibe I also have a webinar for families who are looking to go kind of a little bit more a deep dive into best practices for nutrition with feeding kids and also How to combat some of the messages that we see the die culture messages and talk to our kids about you know specific foods and You know sugar and their bodies and weight gain and all these tricky conversations that come up for kids How to actually respond to them with supportive scripts that won't screw them up And so, you know, it's a really great webinar. I've got information about that on abbieskitchen.com. So you can check that out as well

1:01:52Awesome Abby. Thank you so much. Thank you so yeah, so cool. Thank you for coming on today. Thanks for all the knowledge Guys, you can find everything that we talked about today All of Abby's links show notes webinar all that good stuff for YouTube channel will be in the show notes Also, you guys heard in the middle of the show We are gonna be out November 15th at the Arizona Cardinal game facing the LA Rams for a dad edge theme day We were actually invited and that's gonna be the whole thing is gonna be a dad themed dad edge audience day So make sure you guys check that out also my course roommates the soulmates Check that out as well But guys, thank you so much for joining today go to debt the dad edge calm forward slash 1527 for the show again The dad edge calm forward slash 1527 Abby. Thank you so much. This was awesome. Thank you

1:02:58You