Magnificent Montague - Road Show

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1:10The National Broadcasting Company presents Transcribe the magnificent Matague starring Mati Wally. When Edwin, the magnificent Matague, left the Shakespearean theater for the economic security of radio as Uncle Goodheart, hero of an afternoon program, life did not become beautiful. He misses the applause, the spotlight, those Shakespearean roles he reveled in. Today, his theatrical activity is limited to an occasional Shakespearean reading at his theatrical club, the proscenium. Last night, he gave such a reading. It is morning in the Matague apartment. His wife Lily is just getting up. Agnes, the mate is up and is now in her third week of spring cleaning. If they made me a king, I'd still be a slave around here. If they made me...

2:10How good morning, honey. Good morning, Agnes. Where's Edwin? I woke up this morning and he's going. Don't ask me. A half hour ago he come rushing out his pants and overs pajamas through on his coat and ran out. Edwin rushed down to get the morning paper. I see so anxious about. Is he afraid the Army's calling up the reserve officers from the Civil War? Civil War. Oh, that's silly. My era, it was a revolutionary war. A revolutionary war, not please Agnes. I don't know. I've seen those pictures of the spirit of 76 and if your husband ain't the guy with a bandage on his head, I'll eat the drummies feed him. Oh, Agnes, stop joking. You know Edwin is merely in his middle age. Yeah, like I said, he's from the Middle Ages. Oh, please. For a man in his 50s, Edwin is very well preserved. Well, you should have gotten a lot of him this morning. It looked like a preserves went bad. Agnes, don't annoy him this morning. You know last night he gave a Shakespearean readings at the pricinium club. Poor Shakespeare. Why don't your husband pick on a guy who's alive and can fight back?

3:14Agnes, it was a triumph. Like old times. Edwin's voice was as strong as ever. Full of fire and resonance. Are you should have come along? What for? I can't hear a thing with my punctured eardrums. Well, you came to hear him recite last year. I know. What do you think punctured my eardrums? Now, Agnes, your ears are perfectly alright. Or try and understand. Last night meant so much to Edwin. There were some critics there too. All his old friends at the theatre. He proved that he's still a magnificent Montague. That's why he rushed out to early this morning to find out if any of the critics mentioned him. Or the telephone. I'll get it. Let me take it. Hello, this is Mrs Montague. Doctor Who? T. Horatio Wellington? Oh, thank you, sir. You'll be very pleased how much you enjoyed him last night. Proposition for him? Well, I can't answer for him, Doctor. He's pretty busy these days. I surely try later. Oh, Agnes, it's like old times in the theatre. The morning after opening night, strangers calling up to congratulate Edwin.

4:17Edwin rushing down to get the morning papers for the reviews. The whole town talking about it. The next day the play closes. Oh, Agnes. There's no business like show business. That was Montague's trouble. When he was in a show, there was no business. Now, now you're speaking about Edwin Montague, the foremost Shakespearean actor of our time. So he keeps saying. Oh, he'll be back any minute with the newspapers. You better get breakfast ready. Why bother with breakfast if his name is mentioned he'll eat the papers? Agnes, he hasn't been on the stage in eight years. Giving a reading at his club may not seem very important, but it's a high spot for him. Agnes, as a favour to me, be nice to him this morning. Okay, I'll be sweet. As a favour to you. Or very good. Good morning, Edwin. Good morning, Edwin. It's a beautiful morning. Anything in the newspapers about your reading last night? Yes, Edwin. The critics seem to still remember me. They penned a few paragraphs about my little effort last night.

5:18I bet they raved about you. Well, they did wax enthusiastic, but I guess it was just for all time's sake. Oh, nonsense. You were at triumph last night. People have been phoning. Really? Congratulations, Mr. Montague. Who said that? It'll be so startled. It was Agnes congratulating you. Agnes congratulating me. I don't believe it. Edwin, Agnes is trying to be nice to you. She said congratulations. Well, she probably thinks it's a swear word. What are you going to do? We're still a beast. All right, Agnes. Get his breakfast. I'll fix something for him. Just say the word honey and I'll make you a widow. Just coffee, Agnes. Black coffee. Just black. I was hoping you'd want cream this morning. It just went sour. Get it, Agnes. Okay. Yeah, little man. It looks like my deal with the mayor would go through. A deal with the mayor?

6:18Yes, on the opening day of the baseball season. Instead of the first ball, he's throwing out Agnes. Oh, Edwin, you're terrible. Agnes made an effort to be nice to you. Now, the least you could do was think. All right, Lily. All right. I'll be charming to her. Now, listen to what they said about being the papers. Sit down and read them to me. Oh, Edwin. It's just as it used to be after our opening night. Here's John Chapman in the news. Listen, last night at the Proceeding Club, the curtains of yesterday were lifted for one splendid moment when Edwin, the Magnificent Montague, gave an informal reading of selections for Shakespeare. Here's your coffee. Edmish. Edwin's reading. Mind if I don't listen? Please go on it, Winnie. And only if it bothers Agnes. I could always take the loose paper downstairs and read it in some doorway. Edwin, stop that. Oh, my. Isn't that Mr. Huffady Huff touchy this morning? Edmish. Now go on, Mr. Huffady Huffady. Go on. All right, all right. It continues. For an all-too-brief moment,

7:21we were allowed to see and hear one of the old-time greats. Did you hear that, Lily? He called me one of the old-time greats. That's the same thing they said about C-biscuit. All right, Agnes. Roll over and play a dead. Well, I was the use. She won't let me read. I'll go on now. I know. Let me shove the loose paper down Agnes' throat and then read it with a florist's cope. Agnes, let him read. What else does Chapman say? He ends the paragraph. When Montague left the stage, a golden era came to an end. Sick transit Gloria Mundi. Sick transit Gloria Mundi. Translation. Rest in peace, jerk. Lily, we mustn't be selfish. Let's give Agnes to the Dodgers. They could use another bat. Oh, not me. Please. Edmish, what do the other critics say? Oh, all answer the door Agnes. Now let me do it. That must be that cute mailman. Oh! Oh, Agnes. I guess a man isn't safe around here, do you?

8:23You are, Grandpa. Western Union sign here. Okay. Say you're a cute kid, too. Thanks, Grandma. Oh, Agnes, you're irresistible. It would have been look at all those telegrams. Let me have the magnet. Who will they find? Here's one from Catherine Cornel, I'll read it. Sorry, it could not have ten-year-old performance last night, but it was with you in spirit. Kid, huh? This is from the reset. Couldn't make it last night, but it was with you in spirit. This one's from C. Vicarbic. Distance kept me from attending, but it was with you in spirit. What were you holding last night, a scoundrel? Oh, here's a nice one. The laylisten. Our hearts overflow with happiness for you. Oh, Edwin, go on. Words count express how proud we were of you last night on your graduation from dental school. Aunt Minion, Uncle Matt. Aunt Minion. Oh, it's a mistake. Here's another telegram.

9:23Cad, listen, Lily. Hered you last night at the Presidium Club. You were superb. Would like to talk to you about arranging nationwide tour for Shakespearean readings. Signed, Dr. T. Horatio Wellington. A nationwide tour. Lily, giving readings, a lecturing on Shakespeare. Going on the road again. Always what I've always dreamed of. What sounds so exciting. I knew they'd come to me, Lily. Charles Lotton, Cedric Hartbrick and others. I've been touring, giving readings for months now. I heard the people are crying for Shakespeare for my head talent. With a torture culture in my hand, I will cross the country. You will double-cross the country. I'll stop kidding him. And tell the truth, Agnes. Don't you think Ed will be wonderful giving those readings? I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may tend to incriminate. Agnes, if you don't... Well, I'll get the phone. Hello? Oh, yes, Dr. Wellington. He's here. You're down in our lobby. But please come right up.

10:24Was that Dr. T. Horatio Wellington? Yes, I forgot to tell you. He called earlier and said he was coming up. T. Horatio Wellington, my impressario. He said I was superb. He's going to book me coast to coast. Great days are in store for the country, Lily. Oh, wait till I hit those cities. Watch him run for those bomb shelters. Now clear the table. Dr. Wellington will be here any minute. And here's your dressing gown, Edwin. Come, you beard. Do I look alright? Wonderful. He'll be so impressed. Edwin. What's wrong? Well, what about your Uncle Goodheart radio program? If you go on your lecture tour. Oh, Lily, what is a measly program compared to my grand tour? They just have to find another Uncle Goodheart. Hey, but you can't do that to the sponsor. Lily, we'll discuss that. You're right, Mr. Doer. Got it. Yes? Is it my pleasure to be about to set my foot into the most gracious home of Mr. Edwin, Marty, US? Why? Well, show no master.

11:24Miss Agnes? I'll kill you for this, Agnes. Dr. Wellington, T. Horatio at your service, sir. Well, won't you sit down, sir? Oh, Dr. Wellington, pardon my neglect. But this is my wife, Lily. Mrs. Monague, the graciousness and beauty of your face and the divineness of your form, leaves my mind to but one conclusion. You must be a daughter of the South. I'm originally from Cleveland. Well, that's close enough to the Mason Diction Lawyer to suit me. Cleveland, ladies, won't you come out tonight? Pardon my enthusiasm, but just an old plantation song. Have a chair, Doc. Who is this vision of loveliness? Why, she's... You don't have to tell me, Mr. Monague. I recognize the family resemblance immediately.

12:24Your lovely daughter, my daughter. She's daughter. That's all I need. Where's the gas pipe? Dr. Wellington, this is Agnes. She's all made. This is the end of a perfect day. Oh, Dr. I was quite interested in your wire. You mentioned something about it, I believe. A tour? I certainly did. Mr. Monague, it was my privilege to attend your magnificent performance last night. Well, thank you, there you go. It was just a little reading. Sir, as a man who has the greatest and utmost respect for the works of one William Shakespeare, popularly known as the Bard of Avon. And as a man whose business is seeking out the finest talent in this fair land of ours, I say without a quam or a equivocation, that I'll never, and I'll repeat, I'll never did hear our voice possessing the strength and golden quality of yours. Excuse me, but what part of Brooklyn did you say you were from? I was required. Well, Dr., if I'd known you were in the audience, I would have prepared a more elaborate program.

13:26I would have perhaps included my famous reading of Anthony's Oration and Caesar's Bureau. Sir, would it be too much for me to believe that you would do that for me now? Try and stop him. Agnes, dear, why don't you dig up one of your old bones and play with it? It wouldn't do anything to speak for Dr. Wellington. Oh, very well, very well. I'm a quiver. I'm simply a quiver. Friend, Lovon, Countryman, lend me your ear. I come to bury Caesar not to praise him. Evil that men do live after them. The good is often terried with their bones. So let it be with Caesar. Beautiful, Edmund. Beautiful. Well, Dr., if I'd doctor your cry, excuse me, I never thought I'd live to see the day when a human voice,

14:28a human voice could put the shame, the songbird of my beloved son. Dr., you're too kind. Please, so recite me some more, sir. Re-sight me some more. Well, I'd love to, Dr., and now there's the battle scene from back there. When you have time, you have to get to your broadcast. Oh, yes, Dr. Ronson is rushed. And I'd like to hear more about the tour. The tour? Oh, yes. Well, T. Horatio Wellington, after 27 years of presenting artists to the American public, is about to launch his most brilliant, stimulating and phantasmagorical stellar presentation, the magnificent monogue in an evening with Shakespeare. An evening. With the American Express Platinum card, I can unlock experiences like no other. As I'm always booking my next trip, I'd love that I can earn points on travel. Plus, I get a resi benefit, so you know I'm hitting the restaurants everyone's talking about. And you can find out your welcome offer after you apply, which could be as high as 175,000 points.

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16:31Shop now at participating home depot, lows, and floor into core stores. For more information, visit jameshardy.com slash hearty backer. He was chased. Oh Edwin, you're a dream. Well, Mr. Monagusa, is it going to be my pride and pleasure to present you to the culture star of people across the length and breadth of this country? I like to call thee United States. Dr. Wellington, let the tour begin. When will it start? Mrs. Monagumam, I've been working on the arrangements of the tour all winter. We could open tonight. Tonight? Certainly. We could open in New Haven. Only an hour from here. The late New Haven, the plays we've tried out in New Haven. No, even I'm so excited. Opening tonight. Then off we go, riding the waves of applause and bravo. Bridgeport, Boston, Portland, Maine, Monterey, or Quebec, down through Buffalo, Toledo, Milwaukee. Oh, Dr. Yomaki, making me dizzy. We'll make the whole United States dizzy. I'll get my publicity out now. Edwin Monagusa, come on your way.

17:31In an evening with Shakespeare. Presented by T. Horatio Wellington. Tarding Edwin. Monagusa. I'll pick you up tonight at 6 o'clock and we'll be off for New Haven. I'll be ready at 6. Excellent. Until then, sir. I am. I'll never remain your humble servant. T. Horatio Wellington. I'll reward you all. Starting Edwin Monagusa, all lily. At last I could use my own name again. No more sneaky and hidey under the name of Uncle Goodhaw. Hurry Edwin, you'll be late for the broadcast. My last broadcast. He'll be back with a magnificent motto you in just a moment. Three times mean good times on NBC. Just imagine an hour and a half of comedy, music and drama, the finest of each, with the greatest names and show business, presided over by T'lula Bankhead. Well, that's the big show. Brought to you this Sunday. And every Sunday on NBC. Always and T'lula too.

18:31No wonder it's the big show. And for drama on Sunday, here, theater guild on the air. And now back to the magnificent motto guild. And now back to the magnificent motto guild. Where the great tour about it again, Matagu is finishing his Uncle Goodhaw broadcast. Listen. And now dear listeners, remember always keep your head high into the sun and light. So ends another episode of Uncle Goodhaw. Until he meets you again tomorrow in his little cottage on the sunny side of the lane. Here is Uncle Goodhaw with his thought for the day.

19:31When your neighbor grabs a wire that's live, like a neon sign starts looking, don't stand there while the sparks shoot out. Step up and ask, what's cookie? You're up here, Mr. Matagu. Sure words were never spoken. Grand show, here's our director, Mr. Sinzer. Good show, wasn't it, Mr. Sinzer? Ah, with the hum, dinging, la la polu there, alright. Thank you, Sinzer. At Jettelbeer, I have an announcement to make. You have just heard Uncle Goodhaw's sullen song. Your sullen song? I didn't hear anyone singing. Quiet! Mr. Matagu, what are you talking about? It was my last radio program. I'm going on a lecture tour. Oh no! You can't just walk out on us like that. Going for a walk, Mr. Money? I am! Mr. Matagu, this puts us into a terrible hole.

20:31Did he walk into a hole? Sinzer, will you get it through your fix? Call Mr. Matagu, is leaving a program? Ah, dear. I'll tell you that. Jettelbeer, I'm sorry to give you such short notice, but my nation-wide tour opens in New Haven tonight. Mr. Matagu, you can't. Uncle Goodhaw must go on. Think of the sponsor. Think of the listeners. Yes, with no Uncle Goodhaw to listen to what will 10 million housewives do. Well, let them clean their houses for a taste. Mr. Matagu, you've got to change your mind. Wait, a little sponsor here, this? A boy's mind is made up and stopped blubbering. Blubbering? Who's blubbering? Is someone blubbering? Sinzer, are you blubbering? Blubbering? Who's blubbering? I wasn't blubbering. Someone was blubbering. I wasn't blubbering. Stop this, Jettelbeer, try it and understand. I must follow my star. For years, I've been dedicated to one art. I thought I had been forgotten, but I was wrong. The people of our country want me.

21:31I must answer the call. Sheep with he'd been drafted. Mr. Sinzer, Mr. Sinzer. I shall think of you most of all. When I cross the desert and look out into the vast emptiness, I will think of your head. Oh, thank you, Mr. Managam. Yay! When the sponsor hears of this, you'll have pups. Good. You know, pups, they'll go, if they look like him, save one for me. I've always wanted an air day. Mr. Matagu, what you said. Did you hear what he said about the boss, Sinzer? Yeah. Sinzer, I'm going to report you. If that's how you feel about the sponsor, your braven butter. Oh, I think he's a wonderful man. Fine. On a true blue. Well, that's better. You can't help it if he looks like an air dale. Sinzer! Believe him alone, Spreer. Boys, I have to get home and pack.

22:31Tonight, after all these years, I stopped living again. Tonight in New Haven, I'm having an evening with Shakespeare. Did he play Canasta? Mr. Matagu, how can we possibly find another Uncle Goodheart by tomorrow afternoon? Here we go, combing the bowry again. That's your problem, and now comes one of the happiest moments of our life. I say goodbye to radio. Goodbye, Mr. Spreer. Mr. Matagu. Goodbye, Sinzer. Good luck, Mr. Matagu. Remember what Uncle Goodheart says. Keep your head high into the sun and the life. Thank you, Sinzer. Thank you. And remember, gentlemen, if you can get up to New Haven tonight, you will see the triumph and return the magnificent Matagu. Agnes, help me close this trunk. Then we can stop packing the other one. We sure cleaned out the closets.

23:32She got a load of those old costumes. He hasn't worn in eight years. Let's pack them. He wants to take them alone. Who has the pack them? Let's just tell them all's where they're going. They can fly in there. Agnes, stop kidding around. Dr. Wellington is picking him up at five. Agnes, I just thought of something. What? Edwin will be gone for months. I know. I keep pinching myself to see if it's true. Don't fool yourself, Agnes. You're going to miss him. Like Brooklyn misses the giants. Edwin and I have never been separated very long. For all these years, it's going to be strange not having Edwin in the house. So what? Well, buy a dog who houses all day. You won't know he's gone. Oh, I hope not. I'll get the door. Hello, Agnes. Well, here he is. Travel and fam the Shakespeare, man. Well, Lily, am I packed? Almost, isn't it? And did you pack my throat, authorizer? Edwin, in your entire career, you've never had trouble with your voice. What could hurt that mousse call? Talking about voices, Lily, will you throw Agnes a fish and make her shut up?

24:36When you never use the atomizer. But I'll be traveling, the dust from the trains, every night of performance. My voice, Lily, my voice. But does? If there's any dust that mouth is big enough to let an avachim cleaner. Lily, so this is my goodbye. Lucky Luciano got a more tender farewell when he was deported. Oh, Edwin, I can't wait to hear you tonight. Agnes and I going up to New Haven with Jarvis. Poor old Jarvis, how he must end him, eh? What he'd give to go on a Shakespearean tour. But Edwin, I made those calls for you. It'll be in all the newspapers. Some of the critics are even going up to New Haven to see you. They always loved being a haven. Dr. Wellington hasn't given me the details, but I imagine we'll open it to the Schubert Theatre. Well, that must be Jarvis. I'll get the door. It's Mr. Jarvis. Month to give. Month to give. Jarvis! Off you go, Galantigo. Carry in the torch of our beloved Shakespeare to the hinterlands. I let the trumpets play. I let the drums roll.

25:37Month to give. The noblest Roman of the mall. Ridesforth. Ridesforth to scatter the seeds of culture to every hamlet and village like the spring winds. The wind of learning. The wind of art. The wind of wisdom. The wind of the... He's got a wind. All right, Agnes, down, girl, down. Well, Jarvis, what are they saying about my tour around the theatrical club? I'm hunter-cue every Shakespearean I just green with envy. But you, M hunter-cue, the greatest actor of the mall have been chosen. Oh, darling, thank you, Jarvis. He couldn't have put it better himself. It would have been better, Harry. Dr. Wellington should be here any moment to pick you up. Dr. Wellington, he's the man who's arranged the tour. I just met the man this morning in this modern dynamo has already arranged the tour of 40 cities. Hey, Jarvis! Here he is across the country that have been dark for years once again, and he's been wringing with the immortal words of the bar. You're all packed, Edwin. And when do I keep you here? That's Dr. Wellington, Agnes.

26:37I got it. Come in, Doc. Dr. Wellington? Mr. Monogue, the time has come for the great adventure to begin. And I thank the heavens above that I have been fortunate enough to hitch my wagon to a star of such magnificent magnitudes, sir, as you, sir. Some wagon the Surrey with a fringe on his chin. And then they won't you change your mind about coming along on the tour. We can board Agnes at a kennel. You'd better go, Edwin. We're off to success. We're all riding down the glory road. Goodbye, Edwin. Jarvis now can't just have to seven o'clock train and see you when you haven't. Wait, no wait. If you don't mind Dr. Wellington, perhaps as early as Mr. Jarvis, I can go up there with us. Well, now I certainly would enjoy the company as such a lovely and gracious woman, but I'm afraid certain problems present themselves. Namely, they just think that much room on the truck. Well, Lily, maybe, uh, excuse me, Dr. did you say truck? Yes, my truck. I got a double parked outside.

27:39That's what wet travel am in. A truck of a Dr. Stars don't travel by truck. My stars do. But, doing it for 27 years, I trust you drive. I do. But Dr. Howell, it looked for the stars to drive up to the southern end of the truck. Theater. I don't quite follow you, sir. The theater where I'm going to perform. What's theater? We just packed the truck on an empty lot lower the tailboard and the performance began. Oh. Oh. Shakespeare, for the back of a truck. Well, you're being well paid for it. You're getting free sense on the bottle. Bottles. Yeah, bottled. Three cents for every bottle of Dr. Wellington's magic elixir on youthful Juvenator. Oh, no. Oh. You're on medicine show. You're open to show in an Indian costume to attract the yokals. I trust you all can beat a drum. Get out of here. Well, the critics are on their way to New Haven. I'm ruined.

28:39So, you can't back out. I saved the best potman to show for you. You're right between the fire, eater and the shimmy dancer. Get out of here. Unhammed, son. Unhammed. Get off. Lillie, what I almost stepped into. I guess we can cancel our trip to New Haven, huh, Jarvis? Jarvis? Wait for me, Jarvis. He was just here. Hey, come here. Look out the window. What is it? Look down at the street. Good. Look at that truck. Talk to T. Horace Show, Willie Dunn, traveling shows. From Shakespeare to shimmy. Oh. Oh. What is it, Edwin? Yeah. All's well, then, as well. Ends well? Yes. The spirit of Shakespeare will still come out of the land. Edwin, what are you talking about? Lillie, look. Jarvis just got into the truck.

29:42Join us again next party at the same time for another transcribed visit with a magnificent motto you, starring Moti Wolley, created and directed by Nat Huykin, written by Nat Huykin and Billy Friedberg. Anne Seymour was Lillie, Perth Kelten was Agnes. Also heard on tonight's program where Art Carney is Dr. T. Horace Show, Wellington, Johnny Gibson is Zinser, Gavin Gordon is Jarvis, and John Griggs is Springer. Jack Ward was at the Orkin. This is Don Pardo saying, stay tuned for Duffy's Tavern, which follows immediately. APPLAUSE Three times mean good times on NBC. Saturday, times mean a big evening of fun and music as Red Foley brings you grand old opera from Nashville with many per-o Rod Brassfield and famous guest stars. Tomorrow also means an hour of fun with the Dennis Day Show featuring songs in comedy

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