Jack Benny - The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

0:00J.C.L.L. Ooooo! The Jell-O Program starring Jack Benny with Merry Livingston and Phil Harris in his orchestra. The orchestra opens a program with everything in rhythm with my heart. When you were a youngster, did you ever go out and pick a pailful of fresh wild strawberries? If you did, you remember that wonderful fragrance of tempting and delicious. While open a package of strawberry jello and smell the fragrance that rises from that, you'd be amazed that this immediate proof of Jell-O's extra-rich fruit flavor then dissolve it in hot water and enjoy the delightful aroma again. And for your final proof of Jell-O's rich goodness, taste it. Extra-rich, crammed with fruit flavor.

1:01Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon and lime. All six tastes so refreshing, so delicious. Arrival, the real ripe fruit itself. For that wonderful flavor is put into Jell-O by a special process which seals it there so that it can't get out. It's caught and held for you to enjoy in dozens of grand desserts and salads. Just be sure you get genuine Jell-O and don't accept any substitutes. Look for the big red ladders on the box. They spell Jell-O. That was everything soon ridden with my heart played by the orchestra. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I was as customary every Sunday at this time. We bring you a man who, uh, a man who, uh, say Phil Werzjak.

2:03I don't know, I didn't see him. He came in with Rochester a few months ago. I think they're in a little studio next door. Yes, he's in there rehearsing a scene for a new picture. He's got Rochester reading Joan Bennett's part. Rochester reading Joan Bennett's part. How do you know? I teach over the pan. That's fine. You use my shoulders to stand on. Didn't even tell me. I'd like to get a load of that. Let's open the door and listen. Okay. There they are now. Quiet, everybody. Gee, I hope I don't sneeze. Yes, sir. Well, Mr. Bennett, how am I doing? Now, Rochester, you're not giving me anything. How can I be romantic if you don't put feeling into your line? Now, when you read, when you read Miss Bennett's part, for goodness sake, get into the mood of it. I did everything with just you. Now, look, Rochester, all I want you to do is read those lines with a little pun. I want to be good and as your job to help me. You always find the job for me. I am a...

3:03I'll start out driving your car and not me leading ladies. You're not my leading lady. You're just helping me out. So when I go to rehearse, so I won't make a jump out of myself. Now, let's continue. Okay, is this the scene where we're on a honeymoon? No. Now, we're not even married yet. You mean we are still in the platanic stage? That's it. Now, here's the situation, Rochester. It is a warm summer afternoon. You're in the garden surrounded by poppy, roses, and gladiola. Yes? Yes. Birds are twiddling in the branches of the weeping willow trees. Yes. Little bees are fitting from blossom to blossom, droning a soft soothing lullaby. Yee. Butterflies are floating through the sweet center there, all as peaceful in the garden.

4:08Rochester, wake up. Rochester. Yes, sir. You'll please do me a favor, and not fall asleep until my picture comes out. Now, let's take the scene again. You're by the garden wall picking roast buds. All of a sudden you hear a sound. I leap over the wall, and there I am beside you. Now, I'll use this chair for the wall. I wouldn't jump over that if I was you. Don't worry about me if you want to know something, I was the champion high jumper of walkie-gone high school. You had arches then. Never mind that. Now, this chair is still the wall. All right, let's go. Now, start picking flowers. OK, I'm picking them. And you're singing. See, that's how I know you're in the garden. I hear the song right here. Go ahead. Well, go on. Love your magic spell is everywhere. Love, or I feel silly doing that. I'll rock you. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Now, Rochester, it's only to help me out. I'll take it again.

5:09OK. But love your magic spell is everywhere. Love, I found you, and I know not well. O'Vivian, Vivian, are you alone? Yes, Conrad, my sweet. And I will leap over this wall and join you. Here I come, Vivian. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I knew you couldn't make it. Just pick me up a no comment. I would have to have my fountain pen and my hip pocket. Now, let's go on from there. Why, Mary, this ought to be good. Good, it'll be better than the picture. Oh, boy, you squire, Karen. Now, come on, Rochester. Let's get there. Vivian, my darling, I knew you'd be waiting. I'd be waiting forever, Conrad. You're the answer to a mad band's prayer. That's a maiden's prayer.

6:12Mad man. Oh, Vivian, you're so beautiful. You're like a fragile little flower with your dimple teeth and golden hair. My what? Your golden hair and don't interrupt. Park, I hear someone talking. It must be your father. Who's that behind, Jan Magnoletry? It's ush a big dope. Who? Yes, it's ush. Ah. So you guys were ease dropping, eh? Oh, I'm sorry, Jack, but we were looking all over for you. Well, I was just rehearsing a scene for my picture and Rochester was helping me. You know, we start shooting pretty soon. See, you're going to be swelling, Jack. Thanks, Danny. Do you think so? Yeah, Rochester, too. Danny, Rochester isn't going to be in it. He was just reading Joan Bennett's lines. Whose lines were you reading? My own. I play the part of Conrad Bakel. Adashine. Adashine young playboy. Well, I didn't seem very convincing or romantic. Well, naturally, I was just rehearsing.

7:12I can't be romantic working opposite Rochester. You crap, my style, too. All right, let's call it a draw. They talk, are you really going to jump over that wall? It'll be a little tough for you, all right? Oh, no, down jumping over a wall is very easy in picture. You see, it's all done with wires. They hook a wire to the seat of my pants. And then when I say, here I come, Vivian, they yank me up and I fly right over the wall into the garden. Oh, it looks so natural. Wouldn't it be funny if this your pants came over the wall? Yeah, sure would. It would be fun if you came over just ahead of your pants. Well, let's not get involved in this. If the worst comes to the worst, they can shoot me out of a cannon. Out of a cannon? Yes. They had a cannon a paramount that is shot you long time ago. Oh, that's so annoying. I doubt that very much. You need me anymore, boss? Yes, stick around Rochester. You're going to be in our play later on.

8:13I am? Yes, so go over in the corner and sit down to we're ready for you. OK, see you later. Conrad. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And the things I do for paramount.

10:19That was Phil Harris and his orchestra playing you couldn't be cuter. And I'll, ladies and gentlemen, tonight, the Benny Grease Theater Players will present the second episode of Mark Twain and David O. Selznick's story and production, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Once again, I will play the part of Tom Sawyer that's symbol of American youth. And Mary, again, this week you're going to be little Becky Fatcher, my sweetheart. Remember that kiss I gave you last Sunday? No. You don't remember? By Mary, I kissed you right smack on your lips. Well, I've been around a lot since then. Oh, stop bragging. Now, Phil Harris, Phil Harris will be my half-brother, Sid Sawyer, a sissy if there ever was one. Why don't we change parts tonight? Jack and let me be Tom Sawyer. Definitely not.

11:20He Phil, I was talking to Norman Toro, the big director. You know, he's a man who directed the picture. Well, he listened in last Sunday night, and I wish you could have heard what he said about my performance. Tell him what he said, Jack. Oh, what does he know? He's in picture. This is great. Hmm. Those directors think they know everything. Don't get it, Mary. What did he say? Well, it wasn't so much what he said. It was the way he kicked Jack. Kick me. I could hardly feel it. Say, Jack. What, Danny? When a big director kicks you, does he say action first? No, Danny. It comes as a pleasant surprise. Now, let's go on with the casting. The part of the principal of the school, Mrs. Newton, will be played by that well-known actress, Miss Marlene Detroth. Are you here, Miss Detroit? Here I am, Mr. Penny. Now, you have quite a bit of experience in pictures, haven't you? Yes, I have. Well, tell me, what was your last starring role? I was awful in the awful truth.

12:23Oh, you were. That's funny, Jack. Have the same part, not as models. Mary. By the way, Mr. Trock, didn't I see you in old Chicago? Yeah, I used to live near the stock yard. I thought of that. Well, you'll do. Now, let's see. There's Huckleberry Finn. Where's Andy? Say, is the mayor of Van Nijs here yet? Here I am, but. Well. Well, hello, Your Honor. How's everything in Van Nijs? Have you made any changes in the town? Yeah, but I passed a new curse you law last week. A curse you law? What is it? All blows have got to be home and in bed by 10 o'clock. Oh, you're on the reform ticket, huh? Well, how does your own bull feel about it? You mean Kaz and over? Yeah. He's trying to get me impeached. Well, I don't blame him. Say, Andy, have you made any new appointments since you've been elected mayor? Yes, Buck, I made my paw head at the Department of Sanitation.

13:26You're dead. Well, what was his first move? He took a bath. Oh, so you finally got him in a tub, eh? Yeah, and say, Buck, you know that long beard that paw head? Yeah. That wasn't a beard at all. It was just hand dust. Well, I'll be Joe Gold. Why, say to Don Wilson, tell you that I made him a chief of police out there? Located, is that right, Don? Yes, Jack, I'm Malone. Van Nijs, and there hasn't been a single crime since I was put in office. Is that so? Were there any other crimes in Van Nijs before then? I'll say there was another way that Jay was. There was. How did you stop a chief? Well, I just put signs on every corner. Look for the big red lights to change. Oh, oh. And if they don't wait, I sentenced them to six delicious days in jail with nothing to eat, but Brad and Jellos. Say, that's not bad. How did it work out?

14:27The jail's full. We've got standing room only. Well, so much for law, order, and desert. And now that Mayor Huckleberry Finn is here, our play will go on right after Kenny saw him. Oh, wait a minute, Jack. Who's going to be Mr. Dobbins' school teacher? Well, Don, I tried out several actors to play that part, but none of them seemed to suit me. I don't know. They just couldn't seem to get the feel of it. I mean, they were too... Well, they were too... Too expensive, we know. LAUGHTER It wasn't a question of money. They just couldn't do it. Anyway, I will solve the problem by playing a double role. That of Tom Sawyer and Mr. Dobbins' school teacher. So go on to your song, Kenny, while I get into the mood for my double part. OK. Wait a minute. Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes. Are you going to play two roles tonight? Yes, I am. Well, we ought to get together. Who are you anyway? Just a prank for it. Goodbye. LAUGHTER I wish I had some mustard.

15:28I wish I had some mustard. King, Kenny. LAUGHTER Let silver on the table, night. Bring gold by the moon of all. Oh, light on the geese and let's be dream Of the ones that I love. There's silver on the table, night. We've been on the trail all day. Oh, light on the geese and you dream

16:32Of a rain far away. Of a rain to wait for you. Where the dreams never go dry. And the grass hattles with good luck In the meadows of the sweet fire and fire. There's silver on the table, night. Bring gold by the moon of all. Oh, light on the geese and let's be dream Of the ones that I love.

17:37Oh, light on the geese and let's be dream Of the ones that I love. And while Kenny Baker sings silver on the stage From the picture the texton, say, Kenny, that number was written By Robin and Ranger, the two boys who wrote love and bloom And thanks for the memory, wasn't it? Yes, but they told me not to tell you. Oh. Well, I'll play it anyway. And now, folks, for chapter two in the adventures of Tom Sawyer. As you may remember last Sunday, we finished episode one With Tom Sawyer on his way to school. Now does he get there? Let us see.

18:38Take it, Phil. Come again with us to the sleepy river town of St. Petersburg, Missouri. We take you to the Little Red Schoolhouse on the corner of Maine and Vermont. Our folks at Little Red Schoolhouse with its rusty old pump in the front yard And the lilac bush in the back. It's a bright Monday morning and school is about to begin. Hurting, music. Oh, my God. We'll run to order now. We will start the day with our usual morning greeting. One, two, three. Good morning, tell you. Good morning, dear teacher and foe on you.

19:40Why, children, please. I will now call the roll. Wouldn't head Wilson. Here, teacher. Becky Patcher. Here I am, Mr. Dobbins. Sydney Baker. Here, to any Baker, rather. Here, teacher, and here's a big red apple for you. Thanks, Kenny. That's very nice of you. It is not. There's a worm in it. Oh, yes. Silvestre worm. Present teacher. Huckleberry fin. Mr. Chairman fellow citizens and taxpayers, I am here. Why? And sit down, Mayor, before I give you a recall with this ruler. Collette O'Hara. Um, dear. Collette No'Hara. Right here, teacher. Hmm. Imagine in the third grade and already is in the market for a two pay. How old are you, young man? Seven going on thirty-five. Well, the least you can do is plant some geraniums on that head.

20:41Rochester Van Jones. Rochester, why don't you answer me? I thought I was doing. Not in school. Sydney Sawyer. Here I am, teacher, and I know all my lessons like anything. I'm sure you do, Sydney, and you have the highest marks of anyone in the class. That's cause he won't bend over. Why, Becky? Or you will. Tom Sawyer. Tom Sawyer. Sydney, where's your brother Tom? He's playing hooky teacher. That's what he's doing. Sydney is a town of Dale. Sydney is a town of Dale. Sydney is a sad old Dale. Sydney, you stay out of it. And now for our morning exercises, stand up, kiddies. Now everybody close your eyes and hold your hands up over your head. Oh no, you'll pick our pockets. I will not. Now hands overhead. Now lean back a little further. Back.

21:42Back. Back. Now get up your little brass that will keep you. Now first we will take up our history lessons. Puttin head Wilson. Yes teacher. Who was the first president of the United States? George Washington. That's correct. George Washington, now skinny baker tell me. What was the name of his wife? George Washington's wife? Yes. Well, come on out. Come on out. Come on. I'll give you a hint. Martha. Martha. Ray. Martha Ray. That's right. Now wait a minute. That's silly. So we'll skip it. Now Sydney tell me what great invention is Eli Whitney noted for. The cotton gin. The cotton gin. That's very good. See if you better without the cotton. I think so.

22:45Now Becky Tatcher stand up. Yes teacher. Who was Captain John Smith? He was an early American settler. Right. And when he was going to be executed what beautiful Indian girl saved his life. Pachikovic. That's right. Pachikovic. Pachikovic. Pachikovic. Pachikovic. But you were closed. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Jenny Baker. Jenny Baker. Yes teacher. Tell me who discovered America. Wouldn't you be surprised if I said Columbus? Oh so you know us. I know more than that you old goat face. Goat face. You're lucky I'm dead. Now Becky Tatcher. Columbus discovered America. Now what are the names of the three ships he sailed with? Uh-uh. The Panta? Yes.

23:45The Nina? Yes. And the Albany Nightboats. The Albany Nightboat Columbus never traveled on the Albany Nightboats. You're missing something. You said it. And now children we will take up physiology. Physiology what's that? I don't know let's make it arithmetic. Now children. I don't know my arithmetic. Let's make it balanced. No I got a good idea. Let's make it geography. Oh I got a better idea. Let's burn down the schoolhouse. Now first we must have our geography. Sylvester Worm. Yes teacher. Could you tell me how many countries there are in Europe? Yes I can teacher. Well then name them. There's England, France, Belgium, South of poverty, Lurse of remission, Irish South of France, a Jameson of Father Timothy, a Belgian president, a staffers' database, and Czechoslovakia.

24:48That's very good. And what are the principal industries of Czechoslovakia, a telephone participant and club raising? What raising? Plum. Oh I thought you said trial span. Now Rochester. Yes boy. Can you name the seven wonders of the world? Yes sir. What are they? The swings, the film is the hangin' gardens and poor polka. Now Rochester pork shops are not included among the seven wonders of the world. I guess you ain't never seen a Harlem geography. I guess not. Now Huckleberry Finn. Huckleberry Finn stand up. Yes teacher. Tell me what is the capital of California? Famous! It is not. Stop plugging your hometown. Sydney Sawyer, what is the capital of the United States? Rock Egan.

25:48Right. Wait a minute teacher. Cut up. Well I'll take up Zoology. Huckleberry Finn, what animal is it that crawls around like a lizard, has red eyes, a long pointed nose, and a yellow street down its back. Fred Alan. Right. That's right. That's right. Fred Alan. Fred Alan. Now what is an outstanding characteristic of this peculiar animal? It hangs by its pale and cute tobacco. Correct. Now Becky Satcher tell me what does this odd beat do for exercise? It always walks up three slices of stairs when it buys a suit. I see. And will this queer specimen rack its rings out so it will drew a feeble retort next Wednesday night? Yes! Rock all children. And I'll tell you that since you've all studied your lessons so carefully I have a little surprise.

26:50Our principal Mrs. Newton has an important announcement to make for you. Oh Mrs. Newton will you come in please? I'm right here Mr. Dolby. Now my little men and women I have a fitting W surprise for you. What is it Mrs. Newton? Next Sunday we're all going on a picnic at the old Innisfree. Oh I will be great. There's ice cream and cake and sandwiches for all. Ready! Now don't forget. Where is it? Thank you Mrs. Newton. So children be good little boys and girls and you can all go on the picnic. Oh teachers. Hey teacher look here comes my brother Tom. Look he's trying to sneak in. Oh I see him. Tom. Tom Sawyer come here. Tom Sawyer come here this minute. You played hooky for the last time and I'm going to give you a good fraction. You gotta catch me first yo, Cronyan. There he goes through the window. And here I go after him.

27:50I'll catch me. The little Sallywab. Tom Sawyer. Tom Sawyer. Tom. This will be continued next Sunday night. Will Jack catch Jack? Will the class go on their picnic? Will Vivian marry Conrad? Junior let's suddenly night and find out. Way failed. Here's a picture for you. Fried yellow saucers heaped up with generous mounds of rich, smooth, delicious vanilla ice cream. Ice cream with that marvelous homemade goodness. And here's the way to make it. Use yellow freezing mix and you'll turn out the grandest vanilla ice cream that any family ever chaired for. A smooth, lovely texture, a luscious rich vanilla flavor. For yellow freezing mix uses real vanilla, no artificial flavoring. That's why your vanilla ice cream tastes so good. But flavor is only part of the story.

28:51Yellow freezing mix is amazingly quick and easy to prepare. All you do is open the can, add milk and some whipped cream, and pour right into your freezing tray. To get six servings from one can of yellow freezing mix and water ice cream, creamy, mellow and beautifully smooth. When you fry that rich vanilla, try the other flavors too. Maple walnut, chocolate and fruit flavors that are real fruits in their own sweetened juices, tutti fruity, strawberry and orange pineapple, six rastus flavors in all. So for a swell dessert tomorrow night, serve homemade ice cream and make it with yellow freezing mix. This is the last number of the 35th program in the new yellow series and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. We'll bring you the third and final chapter in the adventures of Tom Sawyer. To be sure to listen in and hear the exciting episode in the cave.

29:52Watch the last, watch the thrills, watch the echoes. I don't know what echoes. Oh good night folks. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much. Oh. Penny Baker refers on the yellow foreground to courtesy of Northern Illinois Productions, but you and your children be cuter from the drive living as the composition's drawn term. I forgot to add some color. JSTFL. All! The yellow program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harrison is orchestra. The orchestra opens a program with I've got a heartful of music from Cowboy from Brooklyn. When your mother sat down to the dinner table back in the early 1900s,

30:57she was probably dressed in a stiff, start, shirt waist and a skirt with a hundred tucks. But when she brought on the dessert course, all then likely it was the same dessert that you and your family enjoy so much today. Yellow. For some styles don't change. And yellow is still as it always has been America's favorite gelatin dessert. That name is a trademark and it tells you how to told your mother that here's one of the most delicious desserts anybody ever tasted. But you must be sure to ask for genuine yellow when you buy. Well, that name is your guarantee that here's the real thing, the one and only yellow. If you hear any other gelatin dessert called yellow, you'll know that is incorrect, while the name is the property of general foods. So if you want to enjoy yellow's extra rich fruit flavor, jellies fresh, tempting goodness and gay glowing colors, don't accept any substitutes for jellies. Yeah.

32:03Yeah. Yes. What's that? Now look Mr. Hornblow, I know you're the producer of the picture, but I'm the star. And after all I have some right. All right, I'm stubborn, but I will not do that scene where I'm hanging out of a window upside down by my heel. Imagine me hanging out of a window. I'm supposed to be a lover, not Monday's wash. Now look Mr. Hornblow. Jack, we're on the air of the program, start it. I know, Don. I'll have to call you back later, Mr. Hornblow. But I want this thing ironed out or Mr. Zooker will hear this. Goodbye. Nothing but trouble. Go ahead, Don. Introduce me.

33:03Okay. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you that happy-go-lucky fellow, that tear-free comedian, that bubbly... All right. All right, that's enough. To low again, this is Jack Benny talking. I tell you, Don, it's enough to drive a man crazy. Well, what's the matter this time? The same old thing. Every time I make a picture, Paramount want me to kill myself. Well, uh... Why don't you do something about it? Do something about it. I've been walking around the studio all week with a sign on my back saying fragile. But they still won't change the story. Say, Jack, is that the same picture you were rehearsing last week with Rochester? You know, where he was reading Joan Bennett's part? Yes, Phil, but I had to give up reading lines with Rochester. Why? Well, we were commencing to sound like Amit and Andy. Anyway, fellas, I don't like the whole setup. I have to go through all sorts of... Hello, Jack. Hello, Mary. I have to go through all sorts of physical contortion. I have to jump over walls, fall down slices, step... and worst of all, hang by my heels out of a window. Chief, with Jack, you ought to have a double for those things.

34:05You know, a stuntman to take your place. That's what I told Paramount, but they claim it's too dangerous. I rehearsed that scene yesterday with Joan Bennett. You were there, Mary. I'll say. Now, get this done for a silly idea. Joan Bennett is passing by on the street, and I want to propose to her. So Paramount has me hanging out of a window upside down to do it. Find pictures. But you know, Jack, you look much taller when you're hanging by your heels out of a window. Well, no wonder my knees fly out of joint. Anyway, down I rehearsed that scene four hours yesterday, and believe me, I was all in. Hello, what happened, Jack? Oh, it wasn't that important. What was it, Mary? Well, Jack was hanging by his heels upside down, talking to Joan Bennett. Well, sure I was. That's what I was supposed to be. Was it too late to fall off, too? Well, that was just an accident. No kidding, Mary. Did that really happen? Yes, Jack, you pay sell off and land right on Joan Bennett's head.

35:08The dead? She thought I was a spider and fainted. And not only that, the guy that was holding my feet went out for lunch in the middle of the sea. I fell right on my head. On your head, did you hurt yourself? No, Don. I've always had a short neck. Did I hurt myself? And Mitch Lysen, the director, he was a big help. He just stood there laughing at me. Oh, Mitch Lysen. He's a swell director, isn't he, Jack? Yes, but he's so temperamental. I made one little mistake at rehearsal the other day and he bips me. I tell you, fellow Sunday, I'm going to make a real picture and handle the whole thing myself. I'll be the star, the writer, the director, and the producer. You'll be the audience, too. I don't know about that. My picture will do business. The phone, my relative, is going to see it. You ain't kidding.

36:08Well, anyway, I'm not going to worry about it anymore. They'll have to rewrite the story or else. Answer the phone, Mary. Okay. Hello? Who? Yes, he's right here. It's for you, Jack. It's Mr. Zipper, a paramount. That's Mr. Zooker. See, I wonder what? Hello? Hello, Mr. Zooker. Yes. Yeah, but look, Mr. Zooker, all I said was I will not play that scene. Absolutely not. But I do want to make pictures. Gee, I even went on a diet. You don't shut up. You'll stay on it. Quiet. Now, look, Mr. Zooker, I'm the star of this picture and I certainly have a right to discuss it. Hmm. I even Washington didn't cross the Delaware without talking it over with someone. I said Washington. I know he isn't in the picture. Now, Mr. Zooker, I'm the star and if I'm going to fall out of a window on my head, I've got to get more money or a helmet.

37:08I'd like to get bold. Well, how about my having lunch with you tomorrow and we'll talk about it? Oh, right after lunch? Okay. Goodbye. Well, I have to go through to make a picture. I wish Bordville would come back, play, Phil, the way I'm treated, no rights, no respect, no nothing.

39:12Well, Phil Harrison is archer playing jungle love from the picture of the same name. And Phil, that was very realistic. I don't know, I could just smell the jungle. You could? Yes, I could smell the music too. I didn't mind the music, but how can you smell a jungle? The monkeys are wearing Christmas night. Well, that's about the corneas routine we've done in a long time. Yeah, to top it off, here comes Kenny. Oh, I'm cooked. Hello, Kenny. Hello, Jack, how am I doing? How you doing? You just got here. But you're looking good, Kenny. You got a sunburn and everything. Where have you been? Well, I've been to Lake Arrowhead for decoration day. I just got back. Oh, I took my girl and her mother. See, I had a 12-time. You had a lot of fun, eh? Yeah, her mother lost her glasses. Oh, I get it, does she bind them yet? I don't think so. I dropped them in the lake.

40:13Why, you little devil, you say, can't you do any fishing while you were up there? Yeah. And the funny thing, Jack, everybody around me was catching trout and bass, but all I got was a barracuda. Kenny, a barracuda is a salt water fish. What was he doing in Lake Arrowhead? I only catch them. I don't explain them. I'm sick of them. You couldn't catch a herring and a delicate test, and if you use schlepper month for bass. Oh, I could too. Say, Jack, did you go any place over the holiday? No, I had to stay here and worry about my picture. I wish I had it easy like you, fellas. Nothing to think about, but have a good time. Well, if you'd relax a little more, you'd be better off. I'd like to talk to you about my future. I'm going to talk to you about my future. I'm going to talk to you about my future. Well, if you'd relax a little more, you'd be better off. Every time you make a picture, you try to run the whole world. Well, Mary, I have to protect myself. After all, I'm the star. Star, star, that's all I've heard. Well. You're no more star than a three dollar sapphire.

41:17Well, let me ask you something. When my picture comes out, what do you see on the marquee in front of the theater? Jack's been in three dishes. Well, if you can see me and pick up a suit to reen for the same price, I suppose that's bad. Anyway, don't laugh at that. Anyway, I'm the father. So let's forget artists and models and get on with Tom Sawyer. And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you will overlook our silly arguments, we will present the third and final episode in the adventures of Tom Sawyer. Now, you may remember our play last week ended with, oh, Johnus, see who that is, Mary. Okay. Hello. Who? Yes, he's here. Who is it this time? It's Mr. Winxler. He says he's Joan Bennett's manager. Oh, I wonder what he wants. Hello. Yes, this is Jack Bennett. What? Well, yes, Mr. Winxler, but I didn't mean that I was the only star in the picture.

42:18I know, Miss Bennett is, too. What? Now, wait a minute. You've got the wrong plan on this, and I'm not a termite. I don't care how I photograph. But Mr. Winxler, but...but...but...but...but...but... Shut up, Jack. It's not like a motorboat. Well, all right, I apologize. Goodbye. The plan's trying to call me up and argue about Billy. And I, folks, getting back to our dramatic offering, I will be the star of Tom Sawyer. There'll be no arguments about that. And Phil Harris will be... Well, hey, Jack, I don't mean to keep parping on your picture, but... Are you really going to make them change the story? Yes, I am, Don. Why? Well, I was just wondering, isn't there some place in the script where you can talk about Jello? Well, I don't know, Don. I would have thought I could find a proper place for it. Well, uh...I just thought that finally you're proposing to John Bennett, you could say something like this.

43:20I love you, John, because you're beautiful. And I love Jello, because it has six delicious flavors. Well, Don, I could, but that doesn't seem to be quite the right spot for it. Well, then, Jack, take that scene where you're hanging out of the window upside down. What about it? Well, couldn't you just have a couple of boxes of Jello fall out of your pocket? Well, Don, that scene is not going to be in the picture. That's what I've been fighting about. I'm not going to hang out of a window. Is that what they want you to do, Jack? Yes, and I'm not a chimpanzee. That, I know. Does Paramount know? Apparently not. I've got bars in my dressing. Anyway, I'm not going to do it. But, Jack, I'd be a little careful if I were you. You're not so big that you can go around selling paramount what to do. I'm not telling you what to do, Phil, but I'll be darned if I'll play a love scene upside down.

44:20The blood will wash to my head, and I'll forget my lines. If you haven't got any more lines, then you have blood, don't worry. Well, anyway, that scene is out, so for heaven's sake, let's get back to our own place. Now, Mary, you'll be Becky Fascher again, and Phil, for the third consecutive week, you'll be my half-brother, Sid, a big pissy. Yeah, I wish that part would last one more week. Why? I'm making a doiling that's nearly finished. We'll have to finish it on your own time. Now, let's see, the part of Ann Polly will be, oh, heaven's to best season. Is that the pony, Jen? Hello? Yeah? Hold Jack, it's misslicing your director. Well, I might as well talk to him, too. Hello, Mitch. Yes. Yes, and I mean exactly what I said.

45:21I'm not going to hang out of a window by my heels to play a love scene. I tell my head once already, didn't I? Stop laughing. What? I don't care if I do get the Academy Award. I still want a round head. All right, tell Mr. Hornblow, see you by, dear. Goodbye. Well, if this isn't getting to be a joke or something, I tell you I'm going nuts. Oh, Jack, let's do our play from Sawyer and forget all about it. All right, but I'm going to find Miss. I've aged 10 years. I've aged 10 years. Tonight, and I'm supposed to play a nine-year-old kid. Well, I'll sing your song, Teddy. Maybe that'll suit me a bit and fly with my nerves. Okay, Jack. What's it going to be? I'm going to sing. Let's sail to Dreamland. Now, dedicated to the United States Navy. I'd like to hit him with the SS Tensovania. I'd like to hit him with the SS Tensovania.

46:22I'd like to hit him with the SS Tensovania. I'm going to sing. I close my eyes and dream you are nearly. I hate to wait for they will face my dreams away. A pair of dyes is mine when you're nearly. My dreams live on. A voice God will find you gone. Let's sail to Dreamland. On a silver sea with love beside us.

47:27A dream both to guide us what more can there be. Let's sail to Dreamland in the blue of the night. The land of kisses where heaven and bliss is and star thus of life. We'll build a law of mass just above the high above mass. And soul inside us at times of my code. Let's sail to Dreamland. On a silver sea where dreams are making and romance is waiting for you and for me.

48:30Let's sail away. I'm going to sing. I'm going to sing. I'm going to sing. As you may remember in our last episode, this is Newton, the school principal, had promised a children a picnic at the Old Indian Cave. And this is the big day. The scene is the home of Aunt Polly where we find her getting Tom and Sydney ready for the picnic. Curtain may use it.

49:31Come on now, children. Hurry up. It's time for you to leave. I'm ready, Aunt Polly. I'm ready, Aunt Polly. You're a big gumdrop. You stop calling me names, Papa Sawyer. I'll scratch you. Give him a beehive. Thomas, did you brush your hair like I told you to? Yes, ma'am, I did. Well, then put it on and get going. Now I want you to be good to the boys when you get to the picnic. Is your basket all packed, Sydney? Yes, Aunt Polly. I got my sandwiches, my milk and a book to read. It's so thrilling. A book? Talk to me, nothing. The campfire girls is a cotton club. That sounds mighty as listen. Thomas, is your basket packed? Yeah, I got my peanut butter sandwiches, my jelly rolls, my lady fingers and a can of beer. Let's see that.

50:31Why you bad boys? You forgot your can opener. I don't need one. I got a buck too. Comes in handy, too. All right now. Now, I'm along both of you and remember the good little boys. Hello? Who? Yes, E the earth. It's for you, Tom. And it's a horn blow. Horn blow? Give me that, old Aunt Polly. Hello, Mr. Horn blow. What? Now, wait a minute. I don't care what Mr. Lyson says. I'm not going to hang out of a window by my neal. Have you been in Mr. Thomas? Quiet, Aunt Polly. Go ahead and tell Mr. Zooker. I don't care. Hurry, Thomas, or you'll be late. Now, look, Mr. Horn blow. I have time to argue with you. Now, I'm going to a picnic. Goodbye. They think they can bulldoze me in the making that picture. They got another thing coming.

51:31Now, hurry, children. It's getting late. OK, goodbye. Goodbye, Polly. Goodbye, Aunt Polly. Goodbye, Aunt Polly. You're as bad as Horn blow. Is the fine play audience want to be able to follow without a wiki, boy? Quiet. So, Tom and Sydney go on their way. And a little while later, we find them at the picnic grounds for the old Indian cave. The picnic is in full swing. Oh, hey! I'm getting that goldmine, Tom. That's a year-end. Is it? Yes, it is. Not so noisy and so flugging each other. That's it. Are we having the night? Oh, it's me. I'm having a lovely time, Mrs. Newton. Gee, this food is good. Hey, look at putting head wilson. He's got a ten-decker sandwich. Hey, Sydney. Well, I'll trade you a big piece of custard pie for your hand sandwich. Okay, here's your sandwich. Thanks, and here's your custard pie.

52:32Oh, hey! What is it, dude? It's a new... I told you I'd get you. Hey, Tom, they're Becky Fetch, your sweetheart over there on the oak trees. Oh, yeah. Hello, Becky. Hello, Tom. Come on, Becky. Come on, Becky. Becky loves everybody. Now, it isn't true, is it, Becky? You don't go out without our boys, do you? They're all telling me. Hey, Becky, can I hold your hand? Yes, Tom, please. Can I put my arm around you? Uh-huh. Can I hold your tight and hug you? Yeah. Can I have some of your potato salads? What a clock. Oh, I did it. You want me to kiss you. Gee, even I knew that. Here you are, Becky. Wow, how was that? You're giving me the potato salad. Well, you're kissing me anyway.

53:32Now you love Becky, you ought to see him, Becky. You better go down and save her. And Jello has six flavors. Jello has six flavors. Say, Becky, I got a swell idea that you and I go over in the big caves. No, I'd be scared. They say the place is full of goblins and goes and all kind of creepy spook. Ah, who's afraid? Come on, let's go. Hey, where are you going? We're going in the cave. You want to come along, skinny? Sure. You won't be afraid, will you? Who me? Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, it's nothing. Come on, both of you. He wears. Becky, we ain't even in the cave yet. What are you shaking for now? I know if they're having a preview. Come on, let's go. And so, Tom, Becky and skinny steal away and out of the old in the cave. For hours, they wandered deeper and deeper into its mysterious caverns. And now we pick them up. They're trying to find their way out.

54:32But they are lost. Oh, this is awful. Hang on to me, Becky, so we won't stumble over this ledge. All right, Tom, but be careful. Yes. Oh, no. Who's that? Oh, boy, this is stupid. It's getting darker, too. I'm scared. Now, let's take clothes together so we don't get separated. Wait. Wait, what's that? Oh, who's there? Who made something hitting me in the cave? Oh! Don't be scared, Becky. It's just bad. Christ, you're a lot of them. Yeah, get away from here, you old bad. Watch your language, young man. See, they talk, too.

55:34Hey, Tom, listen. There's somebody coming for you. Where? Oh, yeah. I mean, you can tell us how to get out of here. I'll find out who he is. Hey, mister, are you a caveman? No, I'm an Eskimo. An Eskimo? What's an Eskimo doing in a cave in Missouri? Or is that barricot or doing in Lake Arrowhead? I'm so knowled. Say, mister, how do you... He's gone. Go on, say, we gotta get out of here. What do we do, Tom? Let's call on our hands and leave through the tunnel. It may leave somewhere. Come on, follow me. See that, scary? What's that noise? Just my bubble gum. I'll go shoot so loud. Look, Tom, we were coming in a great, big caveman. Yeah, she looked at the size of this place. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Hey, there's an echo in here. Listen.

56:34Hello, there. Hello, there. He lives in Echo all right. He lives in Echo all right. Can you hear me? Yes, can you hear me? Hmm, a fine echo. Fine, try it, your family. Echo's vast Eskimo. We gotta get out of here. Hey, Tommy, look. Look down there. Where? Right underneath this ledge. There's a lake hole over there. I can come and throw. See, that means we can get out. Yeah, but how are we gonna get down there? That's easy. Skinny, you hold onto my ankles. And I'll hang down by my feet over the ledge. And let Becky down first. Come on, skinny, grab my ankle. Okay, tell me I got him. Come on, Becky, give me your hand. I'm afraid. Oh, don't be scared. I can hold you. All right. The whole of my ankle's tight skinny while I bend over the ledge. Now, here we go down over the ledge. Hmm, how does that door get in this cage? Come in. Telegram for Jack Benny.

57:34That's fine. In the middle of a play. Reach up and take it, Mary. Okay. Hmm, this burns me up. Oh, yes. This telegram's from Paramount. What is it's Paramount? What does it say? It says if you can hang by your heels on your program, it can do it in your picture. Oh, there's no use. We might as well give this off. No, this is fun. Shut off. Play. Here's a swell idea for the Maronite's dessert. Homemade ice cream. Rich, smooth, creamy ice cream. The kind that will make a special occasion out of an everyday meal. And here's the way to have it.

58:34Make your ice cream with yellow freezing mix. For the best tasting ice cream you ever dipped as soon as. One of the flavors you want to try first is that well maple walnut. It's made with the flavor of real, old-fashioned maple syrup. The kind you get way up in New England when spring is on the way. And it's just full of walnuts, meat, just lots of them, crunchy and inviting. The family will love it. And you love the ease and speed and economy of yellow freezing mix. Just open the can, add milk and some whipped cream, and pour right into the freezing tray. You get six servings of rich, creamy ice cream with that old-fashioned homemade goodness. Yellow freezing mix comes in six luscious flavors in all. Maple walnut, chocolate, real vanilla, and delicious fruit flavors that are real fruits in their own sweetened juice. Raw berry, chewy fruity and orange pineapple. You'll find the yellow freezing mix as a perfect answer to hot weather desserts.

59:34So ask your grocer tomorrow for yellow freezing mix. This is the last number of the 36th program of the new yellow series. And we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Am I going to be breakfast after again next week? No, Mary, we're all through with Tom Sawyer. Is that right, Jack? Yes, Phil. And take this. Out and Polly! And Polly! Good night, folks. Thank you! Help! Oh! Candy Baker refers on the yellow program to courtesy, murder and the life reduction.

1:00:37This is an awful broadcasting company.