Episode 601: A useful eight (my ideal woman)

0:00I'm Dr. O'Brien, Terraban, and this is Cycax, better living through psychology. And the topic for day short talk is a useful eight. So from time to time, I receive a specific question from both men and women. O'Brien, you talk so much about sexual relationships. So tell us, what is your ideal woman? Now as you might imagine, I've actually thought about this a good deal. In fact, I have a very straightforward answer to this question, and I'm going to share with you today in the hopes that it might help other guys in their selection processes. Here it is. For me, an ideal woman is a useful eight. That's it. No big checklists, no lists of criteria, just two components. But trust me, this is harder to find than you might think. Let's unpack this. So my ideal woman is a useful eight. The eight has to do with her perceived sexual marketplace value or PSMV.

1:02A PSMV of eight means that to me, to me within my own perception, the woman in question is an eight out of ten. So she needs to be fairly attractive. But in my experience, eight is the magic number here. Any less or any more tends to be problematic for long-term relationships. Like I've discovered that a woman must have a PSMV of at least eight for me to maintain consistent sexual interest in her. As I've mentioned previously, my rule of thumb here is that I should be able to walk into most rooms with a given woman and want to leave with the woman I brought. If I walk into two any rooms too often and I see other women I'd rather be leaving with, I'm just going to be real. It's very unlikely that that relationship is going to last as I'm going to be emotionally pulled in other directions. This absolutely doesn't mean that she has to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

2:07That's unreasonable. She's an eight, not a ten, right? So it's totally okay to encounter more attractive women from time to time. Like this world can be so ugly. It's nice to see beauty when you can. But the vast majority of the time, I should feel lucky that I'm leaving with the woman that I brought. As you can probably tell, this is really important to me. Now some people believe that prioritizing sex and attraction like this is shallow or superficial. But I would respectfully disagree. I mean, sex is what makes a sexual relationship a sexual relationship. Like it's in the fucking name. Just like people's professional relationships are the only relationships in their lives in which they get paid. And therefore it makes sense to prioritize their income or revenue here. People's sexual relationships are the only relationships in their lives where they get laid.

3:08So it makes sense to ensure that the sex is as frequent and awesome in satisfying as possible. Sex is at the heart of sexual relationships just as money is at the heart of professional relationships. Of course, this doesn't mean that these relationships are only about sex or money. I've never said that. And that doesn't sound very ideal. However, people downplay or ignore sex and money in their sexual and professional relationships respectively to their own detriment. And in my experience, those who do are typically attempting some form of virtue signaling rather than accurately revealing their real subjective values. If you appreciate the insights on this channel, I would highly encourage you to get your hands on a copy of my book, The Value of Others. Over the course of 432 pages, I delve deep into my economic model of relationships and explain the behavior of both men and women in the game of mating and dating.

4:08I also provide a lot of actionable advice on how to get and keep more of what you want in the sexual marketplace. As you read The Value of Others, you'll never look at relationships the same way again. Now available in e-book, audiobook, and paperback formats. The links are in the description. In any case, an 8 is good enough to consistently maintain my sexual interest. So why not keep going? As in my experience, women much higher than an 8 tend to come with a whole host of problems. Like I'm sure you've seen the crazy hot matrix, there's some truth to that. I've dated some women who were pretty high up in terms of their PSMV, and while there certainly were some enjoyable aspects to that experience, these women were also just a fucking handful. These women are kind of like exotic supercars.

5:09Yes, they look amazing. Yes, they turn heads and inspire envy. Yes, you're going to feel like a million bucks when you pull up to the spot with one. But there are so many hidden costs and inconveniences with respect to their maintenance. They're just not practical cars, and they are extremely expensive to acquire and maintain. Like the work is never ending. In large part, because the intersectional competition is relentless, I'd get up to go to the bathroom at a restaurant, and there would almost always be guys hitting on them when I got back. Your game has to be on point and unrelenting, which is frankly kind of exhausting. This is because, given their optionality, they are far, far more likely to take issue with smaller and smaller problems. And since this high-resolution maintenance never stops, ever, I found it difficult to

6:12ever truly enjoy the relationship. Ultimately, relationships should make your life better. And these relationships tended to be a net negative for me. So, yes, these women are beautiful, but in my opinion, I just don't think they're worth it. But let's move past attractiveness. Being an eight is not enough. She needs to be a useful eight. What does that mean? Well, it means that she must actively generate value. An eight is an attractive woman, which is sufficient to maintain regular sexual interest. Fantastic. But what else you got? Like you don't actually need a committed relationship in order to have regular sexual access to people. Like that's the reality of the modern sexual marketplace. Unpopular opinion, but the commitment of a high-value man is significantly more valuable

7:14than sex from any given woman, even a very beautiful one. Like the commitment of a high-value man is equivalent to an annual salary that puts you in the top 1% of earners without having to work. Women high-end escorts don't earn that much and what they do earn, they have to earn the hard way. So in order to secure that kind of commitment, a woman absolutely has to provide value. And the easiest way to provide value is to be helpful. A good woman, a smart woman, once she secures access to a man starts to look around, starts to carefully observe a man's life and what he is trying to accomplish in order to identify opportunities where she can be of service. These women are looking for something to do so that they can be the ones to do it. But Orion, some women will say, why would I want to serve a man?

8:16That sounds like unpaid labor to me. And I would respond that you're probably not going to get very far with that attitude. A woman who is not actively trying to give is just trying to take. She's a charity case looking for a handout. No man should work for the privilege of paying a woman's bills. I'll say that again. No man should work for the privilege of paying a woman's bills. If she wants her bills paid, then she needs to put in the effort, fair as fair. And of course, being helpful is the Trojan horse when it comes to securing commitment. The more useful a woman becomes, the more indispensable she is in the life of a man, the more painful, inconvenient or expensive it becomes to extricate her from his life. I'm revealing the magician's secret here, ladies, like it or not. This is how you secure commitment.

9:17Be of use and guys will keep you around. And to be of use, and you're probably not going to get very far. It's that simple. So there you have it. My ideal woman is a useful ape. Gentlemen, if this all sounds reasonable enough, I would encourage you to implement these or similar standards in your own life. What do you think? Does this fit with your own experience? Let me know in the comments below. And please send this episode to someone who you think might benefit from its message. I know you know a guy who needs to hear this because it's word of mouth for frills like this that really helped to make the channel grow, helped me help you guys, right? Other value propositions. Anyone looking to join my free weekly newsletter for which I write original content, no AI or book a paid one-on-one consultation with yours truly can do so through my website. There's also my books, the value of others, my best-selling examination of the sexual marketplace and my psychological novel, Starry Knight, where I explore the final weeks of painter Vincent Van Gogh's life.

10:17There's also my private member community, the captain's quarters, where among other things I host bi-monthly group consultation calls with a group of wonderful human beings. Check these resources out. A lot of great value there. The links to everything are in the description below. Look at the description, it's there for a reason. Okay, thank you for your support and thank you for listening.