Episode 655: Finding good women (how to test them)

0:00I'm Dr. O'Rhyan, Tara Ban, and this is Cycacs. Better living through psychology. And the topic of a day short talk is finding good women. All right. So this might be the first in a series because this is a pretty big topic, gentlemen. The fact of the matter is that good women are everywhere and nowhere. Like they're not all located in one place. They are distributed all over the world, though it can take some work to find them. Today I'm going to teach you some very easy actionable strategies that you can implement today to separate the wheat from the chaff. To begin with, let me make something clear. The only women that are worth having relationships with, whether it's for the night or for the rest of your life are women who are enthusiastic about accepting your frame. Like those are the two criteria she has to accept your frame and she has to do so enthusiastically.

1:04If she's not willing to follow your lead, if she's difficult, if she's hot and cold, if she wants to negotiate everything, she should not have a place in your life. And of course, you will encounter this behavior. Sometimes it's because you're screwing up. Sometimes it's just because of who she is. And most of the time it's some combination of the two. Like a woman who isn't enthusiastic about accepting your frame will often have no problem doing so with someone else. That's just the way it is. And rather than try to convince or persuade or pursue a woman from the former category into the latter, it is much, much easier to just find somebody else who can get on board from the get-go. Why? Because at best, convincing or persuading or pursuing when it works and it usually doesn't only gets a woman to accept your frame begrudgingly. And that, my friends, is a huge opportunity cost.

2:05That is a waste of your time. That's not where good, satisfying relationships are. So it's on you to discern the one dynamic from the other as early in the interaction funnel as possible. This will save you an enormous amount of time, energy, money, and trouble. Now I'm going to begin by talking about how to do this on dating apps because most of you are using them. In today's world, most new relationships are contracted on dating apps. So for many of you, this is the logical starting point of this process. And it's actually easier to make an accurate discernment than you might think. Isn't it the easiest way? Listen, the easiest way to tell whether a woman is enthusiastic about accepting your frame is to make simple, reasonable requests of the woman as early in the interaction as possible. This is the thesis statement, so I'll say it again. The easiest way to tell whether a woman is enthusiastic about accepting your frame is

3:06to make simple, reasonable requests of the woman as early in the interaction as possible. As long as the requests are simple and reasonable within the context of an escalation towards a date, which is why you're both ostensibly on a dating app to begin with, this shouldn't be an issue. Let me give you some concrete examples. Feel free to steal them. After a certain amount of exchanges on a dating app, nothing excessive, something between like three and five, send her a message like, I hate this app. What's your Instagram? A simple, reasonable request in the context of an escalating personal relationship. Now, there's only one correct answer to this question. And that is her Instagram username. However, you shouldn't be surprised if you receive some incorrect answers instead. For instance, she might say, I only give out my Instagram after I meet someone in person.

4:06Nope. Wrong. Thanks for playing. She might honestly feel that way, but that's none of my business. And frankly, in 2026, it is a reasonable safety protocol to cross reference any dating app profile with a social media account. Like you have no idea whether you're dealing with a bot or an AI or a guy in the Philippines pretending to be a woman or a woman whose pictures are 10 years out of date. Like this is non-negotiable. Now, if you get a response like this, here's what you do. Did you get that? Okay. Let me repeat myself. This is what you do. Did I make myself clear? You don't do anything. You do nothing. You don't argue with her. You don't try to persuade her.

5:06You don't say, I'm sorry. You feel that way. You just don't respond. That woman drops out of the funnel plain and simple. This is a simple, reasonable request in the context of escalating toward a date. And what is she demonstrated? She's demonstrated that she's willing to make this difficult before she's even met you. Why would you continue the process past this point? Imagine an employer asking an applicant for a resume and being met with, oh, I only send that after the interview. Like how far do you think that's going to get her? And how do you think an employer would respond? Again, if she responds with, well, what do you hate about the app? I like it here. No, wrong. Again, this is a simple, reasonable request. You do not have to explain yourself. This is a woman who is demonstrating that she's willing to challenge you before she's even met you. Why would you continue the process past this point? No response. She drops out of the funnel and so forth and so on.

6:11Want my advice whenever you need it? Introducing Orion AI, a speech-enabled agent trained on my entire body of work now at your fingertips. Hey, Orion, why aren't I getting the results I want in dating? Here's where I'd start. Results in dating are a direct readout of your current market position. Not your intentions, not your effort, not how good a person you are, your position. Couldn't have said it better myself. Orion AI, now available. Go to OrionTeriband.ai for more info. The link is in the description. All right. So, let's assume she gives you her Instagram. Once you establish an exchange there, it's time to set up the date. And let's be clear, the phone is not for chatting. If she wants to get to know you, she needs to do so in person. The phone is for establishing logistical details that allows that to happen. So what you do is you nominate a day, a time, and a place for the date.

7:13And as I discuss in greater detail in never-meat-half-way, that place should be convenient to your residents. Why? Because a, a date is connection with the possibility of sex. And b, you as the man are expected. Not only to initiate and plan the encounter, but to escalate the interaction in the direction of a physical relationship. Like she's probably not going to be doing that herself. And how are you going to do that if you nominate a location by her? Are you going to invite yourself back to her place? Are you going to get on the subway for 30 minutes when the moment is right? No. You're going to go back to your place, which coincidentally just happens to be right around the corner. So as the man, you're going to be making the offer. And if she's unwilling to accept the offer, if she wants to negotiate or compromise, that's a bad sign. That is the response of someone who is not enthusiastic about the idea.

8:17Like imagine the hoops you would jump through to meet someone you were truly excited about meeting and compare that to the response you're getting here. Now the most common unenthusiastic rebuttal is a counter to meet halfway. And you cannot accept that. Just trust me. Like no one meets halfway for a job interview. If you want to roll in this organization, you're going to have to come into the office. Frankly, it's the least you can do. If a man is going to go through the trouble of setting up the date and buying her dinner or drinks or what have you, then the least the woman can do is suffer the inconvenience of coming to him. Gentlemen, you absolutely do not go out of your way to buy things for women. And a woman who desires or expects this to happen is either a difficult customer or she's running a power play to capture more of the frame or both. Because of course, from her purely self interested standpoint, it would be best if everything

9:20were at her convenience. You come to her, you pay for everything and you expect nothing in return. But where does that leave you? Like there's absolutely no mutuality in this short-sighted self-interested vision that some women possess. Again, if this happens, you don't argue, you don't debate and you don't persuade. At this stage, you either don't respond at all and she drops out of the funnel or you respond with something like, well, that's the offer. Of course, there's room for reasonable exceptions. If she responds with, actually, I have to work on Tuesday night, can we do Wednesday night instead? That is reasonable. You certainly can't expect a woman to call in sick or quit her job to go on a date with some random dude. However, if she responds with, actually, I have to work Tuesday night. Without making a counter-offer, then she's either being difficult or she is exhibiting little enthusiasm about the get-together, both of which are disqualifiers and she drops

10:21out of the funnel. Now once the data is set, you give her one final request. Ask her to send you a pick. Don't say more than that. Don't specify the kind of pick you want because the pick she sends will tell you a lot about her level of enthusiasm for an interaction that is at least potentially a prelude to a physical relationship. If she sends you a picture of her dog or the salad she had for lunch, well, dude, that's your answer. A date is not a friendly get-together. It is not a professional meetup. It is connection with the possibility of sex. And nothing says you're not on the same page about this louder than a pick of her macho latte. But just like the date is going to be a waste of your time and money. So there you have it. Making simple, reasonable requests of women as early in the interaction as possible will help you discern which women are going to be difficult, manipulative or even exploitative

11:24from those who are enthusiastic about accepting your frame. And only women in this latter category are worth your attention. What do you think? Does this fit with your own experience? Let me know in the comments below. Please send this episode to someone who you think might benefit from its message. There are tons of guys who need to know this, who need to hear this. Help those guys out because it's word of mouth referrals like this that really help to make the channel grow. Now I have a lot of value propositions elsewhere. So let me review them. I have my free weekly newsletter for which I write original content. I have the opportunity to book paid one-on-one consultations with yours truly. I have my books available on Amazon, my bestseller on relationships, the value of others, and my novel about the final days of Vincent Van Gogh, starring night. I have my agent, Orion AI, providing round the clock council whenever you need it. And finally, I have my private member community, the captain's quarters, where I respond to your issues, your issues in real time during live group consultation calls.

12:29A lot of value there that I can't post here on YouTube. The links to everything are in the description below. Check them out if you are so inclined. As always, I appreciate your support. And thank you for listening.