Battle of the Tinder Dates (3/4/26)

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3:18Battle of the Tinder dates where two of our listeners go head to head to figure out whose love life is the most tragic. We'll go over the rules in just a second, but first let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, some people like to bring chocolate syrup into the bedroom, but he prefers a bottle of hot sauce. That's why they call him Topatio Leo. Hey, what's up? Just imagine you've shaken it really hard to get enough out. Yeah, I know it hurts. It hurts so good. You're right, Jose. And in the other corner, Hill offered to draw you like one of his French girls using crayons and the children's menu at Applebee's. Say hello to Tracin Mason. We'll phone on everybody. He's a romantic, you can tell. Here's how the game works. One contestant will start by telling one of their worst date stories. The other will try to counter with a nightmare story of their own. We're going back and forth for three rounds until we declare a winner. Let's start it off with Topatio Leo.

4:19Go for it. So I went out with an influencer once. Oh, all right. Is that it? Is that the end of history? At the end, that's it. No, we were walking through the city and there was a area with some homeless people. And she asked me record her giving them money. And then once the video ended, she asked me to go take it back for her. No, no, please tell me you didn't do it. No, I was like, no, I'm not going to, I was like, I'm embarrassed. I can't do that. Sorry. No, it's probably good. But you're like, but I will take the video. Yeah, I will think of, yeah, I did, I know. I feel bad about the whole thing. Yeah, I want to expose this person. Yeah, we don't have time. We got to keep going. Tracin Mason over to you. All right. So I mean this wonderful girl. She invited me to a comedy show and told me that her ex was performing. Man, that's a hot take. I learned this when I say she started making jokes about his last relationship. And she started booing and yelling. That's not true. That's not true.

5:20Oh, maybe that's part of the act. Yeah. I pray this happens to me on stage to me. But the worst part is her comedian, Alex, then turned on me and started roasted me in front of everyone. Oh, praise. And I bet the crowd just loved it. Yeah, that's true. To my fans, yes. That's all right. All right. On to round two, Leo. Throwing it back to you. So I was out with a girl and she asked if I've ever been to therapy. And I was like, yeah, I have. I go monthly. Yeah. And she was like, oh, yeah, this won't work because guys who go to therapy don't fall for the mind game she likes to play. She's self-aware. Yeah. But aren't you curious if you could have beat the mind games? Yeah. A little, a little. Trace and Mason, can you counter? I told this girl on a dating app that I was a good cook, which is very, very true. So she offered to have me come over and make dinner. And I'm thinking, oh, all right. That sounds like a dream to me.

6:22Literally, yes. But the thing about this, she had all the ingredients, but it was a lot bigger recipe than I gave her. I mean, I'm talking like two, three times the recipe that I gave her. But still, I made this wonderful chicken dish. And after I had it cooked, she started putting it into different tupperware containers and lay them on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. And she said, yay. My meal props are done for the week. Yeah. Oh. That's exactly smart on her part. And then she says, all right, let's go out to dinner. Oh, my god. Now we can have the real meal. Oh, god. OK. We're on to the third and final round. So we need your best stories here, gentlemen. Top of Tio, Leo, what have you got for us? OK, so I went out for drinks and the date asked me if I'm the jealous type. And I was like, no, not really. And then she started flirting with the bartender in front of me. Oh. Oh. She's like, let's see. Yeah. Yeah. But then when that didn't work, she started hitting on the guy next to me. OK.

7:22Oh. And then she ended up making up with the manager. Oh, all right. I love how you sat through all three of these agents. Yes. Yeah, I just wanted to see what's going to happen next, you know, for the plot. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like you should tell all those guys you're welcome. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, yeah. I should take credit for that. That's a good idea. Yeah. You should. All right. Tracing Mason, this is your last chance. All right. I think I got him beat on this one. So we went out to a karaoke bar. And I really did not want to sing. But she found me up saying, oh, it'll be fun. Yeah. So they called both of our names up. And the song began. But do I? She. Yeah. OK. She starts singing to a guy at another table. What? Halfway through the phone, she puts the microphone down and sits in his lap. And they ended up leaving together. You know, me, I still have to finish the song in it to do with. So I have to do both parts. Oh, that's a true performer.

8:25You are. Yes. Showbiz go on. Good for you for sticking it out all the way to the final. That is the best version of shallow anyone's ever. Yeah. So all right. We got the final bell. That means the match is over and we need to score it. Alexis, who are you giving it to? I'm going to do Mason for having a meal prep. I mean, she's a genius. But it sucks for you. All right. One for Mason, Brooke. I also got to do Mason for the awkward karaoke. That means congratulations. Congratulations. Trace Mason, you are our lonely boy of the week. How does that feel? That feels great. I'm such a dang loser. Yes, you are. I'm such a loser now. You're a winner. Yeah, it's not you. It's them. Yeah. Exactly. You're a winner in the wrong category. And you're still our hero of the day. Textin, 78592. If you want to appear on the next edition of Battle of the Tender Dates, we got your phones have coming up right after this. All cat parents understand the feeling of being totally ignored by your cat. And often thinking, does my cat even love me? There's only one solution to solve that. Sheba, feature cat, Sheba, and go from feeling ignored

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