Battle of the Tinder Dates (3/18/26)

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4:14It is the dating game show that got banned from Macy's after getting the second base with both of their lingerie mannequins. They started it. It's battle of the Tinder dates, where two of our listeners go ahead to figure out whose love life is the most tragic. We'll go over the rules in just a second, but first let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, on all his dates, the ladies say he looks at them like Jack Nicholson in the Shining, or Joker from The Batman Movies. That's why they call him Creepy Smiles Miles. I am into it. And in the other corner, he loves handwriting romantic poems for his dates, but he's a foot guy, so it's always about toes. And he's named every one of them before he's even met ya. Please welcome italics Ali. It's easy to rhyme with toes and foot though.

5:18They're good words to go with. Very romantic. Here's how the game works. One contestant will start, by telling one of their worst date stories, then they'll be trying to counter with the nightmare story of their own. We're going to go back and forth for three rounds until we declare a winner. Let's start it off with Creepy Smiles Miles. Let's go. Okay, so this lead and I were out on our first date and welcome between bars for happy hour. And we walked by a place that the girls' gouts had a little stand. And I'm like, oh my god, I'm all about some Samoas, right? Yeah. Yeah. I go over, I buy some. And the girl that I'm with, she just gets completely upset. She's giving me the cold shoulder. And I'm like, what's wrong with you, Matt? You not like girls' gout cookies? Like what's going on? And she admits that she's like, well, I didn't like the way that you flirted with the mom that was helping out at the stand. This is the first date mind you. And she's like, I should be the only woman that you smile at. Oh, that is the big red flag. Can I just be grumpy to everybody else? Give me those cookies. Yeah. Go to Wendy's.

6:22I don't like the way you're looking at the logo. Yeah. Yeah, that's a rough one. Alex, can you counter? So I met up with a girl from Tinder. And I immediately knew something was off. She was so sick. She was, she was coughing. Her nose was stuffy. She had a raspy voice. So I asked her, I asked if she wanted to cancel the date. She says no. And that she actually prefers to be sick. Why? I was so confused. She went on to say her voice sounds sexier that way. She's doing this on purpose. She hasn't taken any medicine. She refuses to wear a coat outside. I mean, how do you take care of a sick person? Yeah. And you don't want to make out with somebody who can't breathe through their mouth. She doesn't want to kiss you. That's super moist kiss. All right, we're on to round two. Miles tossing it back to you. Okay, so I was at this dinner

7:23with the girl. And the waiter comes up. He asks like, where are we celebrating anything? And so she just jumps in. And she's like, oh, actually, yeah, I just got out of a super toxic relationship this morning with my stepbrother. Whoa. Oh, what? I just did a second date with her. Not like a girl. Oh my god. She was dating her stepbrother. Yeah, that's what she said. And then she's like, she's like, hey, let's toast to new beginnings. And no family relations. Yeah. Do they bring out a cake for that? I don't know. I was on date. It was her idea to go to an aquarium. In front of one of the tanks, she started making out with me, which was kind of hot, but also there were a lot of kids around. Yeah, that's what we're looking to. I actually don't know how to do it eventually. So it's not as sexy as it sounded. But guys, it gets worse because one of the

8:28divers in the tanks starts hitting the glass. Oh, as she says, don't worry. That's just my ex. You hate to when I do this. He's done it multiple times. Yeah. He's plural. Yeah. Oh, she's crying. All right. We're on to the third and final round. So we need your best stories here, gentlemen. Miles. What have you got? Okay. I'll one of the interdates with this girl. When it ended, she's going to get it. Uber ride. So, you know, I'm like, hey, I'll just give you a ride. Give me your address. And when we kind of pulled in, it's like a gated community. It is super nice house. Really awesome neighborhood. Okay. Oh, it's kind of commented on it, right? And she, I swear, she looks at me. And she's like, oh, no. This is just a guy I'm talking to. Oh, what the heck? Hey, your date had you Uber her to her next date? Well, that's a lesson that I should probably ask where you're actually going. Yeah. I mean, but did she tip you? Oh, she should have.

9:32Still five star service in our mind, but I tell ex Alex, this is your last chance. We were out and got into talking about past relationships. Oh, always a good start. Yeah. That's great. She asked if I ever cheated on anyone. Yeah. And I said no. And her personality changed. What? She seemed actually disappointed. Really? So she's looking for something toxic. Yeah, she's like, oh, yeah, she said that. She tells me that she's only looking for a man who has been unfaithful because that's what makes quote, relationships exciting. Oh, are they cheating right now? She must have learned that from a therapist. Yeah. She puts it that way. It makes so much sense. All right. That was the final bell. That means the match is over and we need to score it. Let's go to the judges. Alexis, who are you giving it to? I got a little miles for a cheersing to the step brother relationship. We got one for miles broke. Yeah.

10:34It's hard to beat the step brother relationship. I'm going miles as well. That means congratulations. Creepy smiles. Miles. You are our sad suitor of the week. How does it feel? I don't think it's ever been so happy to be sad. What you mean is it's never been worse. Yeah. We're happy to have you here, man. Text in to 78592. If you want to appear on the next edition of Battle of the Tinder Dates, we got your phone tab coming up right after this. At CVS, it matters that we're not just in your community, but that we're part of it. It matters that we're here for you when you need us, day or night, and we want everyone to feel welcomed and rewarded. It matters that CVS is here to fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for a tasty and, yeah, healthy snack. At CVS, we're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So visit us at CVS.com or just come by our store. We can't wait to meet you.

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