495. Coaching Hotline: Stop Romanticizing the Future & Why We Chase People Who Don’t Want Us

Do you ever find yourself planning for the future and imagining how perfect it's going to be? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about fantasies and expectations. I explore why romanticizing the future can take you out of the present and why trying to control your thoughts about someone else only makes you feel more out of control.

I break down how our brains trick us into conflating circumstances and thoughts, showing why happiness and fulfillment are created by the thoughts you are having now, not by money, experiences, or other people. You’ll hear why striving to reject negative emotions or desires only gives them power, and why chasing validation from others is ultimately about how you relate to yourself.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/495

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Mentioned in this episode:

How to Ask for What You Want

Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET

Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here