#3529 Below Deck Med S11E14: Gen-erational Trauma

0:00I have been to what crappin' I am crappin' What crappin' Kids what have been So I had a grabbin' I have been to what crappin' But when you don't need me to grab it Kids what have been So much that happened Well hello and welcome to what what crappin'! A podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Yield Brobs I'm Ronnie that's been over there. Hi, man. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. Welcome to the show everybody today is below deck day. We are going on to our starting October 3rd the in the mix to where we're back on the roll. Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm staying downstairs so I can be in the mix. That starts October 3rd you can get tickets later this week. It'll be up on our website watch at crappens.com also check out Ben's news show what your order on YouTube to YouTube exclusive and it's really good.

1:06He puts different Bravo stuff in order with very special guests. It's great. That's right. Go listen. That's right. Next episode will be all about the best friends of from the housewives universe with Christina Ariel. You may know from the rules of Star Wars and Dungeons and Dragons and critical role in all those fun things and she also happens to be our friend and is a lovely human being. Yes. Love that lady. And today it is below deck. If you want this on video you get it at our Patreon along with bonus episodes and ad for you listening. Thanks for being here everybody. Bye. It's been really fun. So below deck. So these fuckers of below deck. Put in the season preview. The police are coming. The police are coming. Everybody's been speculating all season what these police are here or who they're here for. And last week Max is going to run away to say, Benny. I want to say, because it max is his father. What happened?

2:09Well, we don't get that unfortunately. That's much less provocative. That's what happened. That's what happens. There's no way it's complete. That's what this was. So we began in slant obey and Nathan has just gone over to pick up the new deck hand and you know amidst the very tense moment with him in Joe because Nathan and Joe are at odds at the moment. And everyone's noticing this really weird vibe that's happening between them. And so it should. But meanwhile Jeff, who's one of the primaries is having a great old time because he was a dick last episode, but this episode he's just like a happy. He's like a happy happy happy man. Yeah, because he gets to go into the water and play with the water always. So Joe is talking to Cooper and he's like, didn't Nathan say you could go down? No. Oh, nice. So I suppose you're supposed to stay up all night, never sleep in because Nathan's a terrible boss. Hey.

3:18And Cooper's like, what's going on between you and Nathan, bro? I don't like him. My dad is a rotten. Well, we had a conversation on the bow and I said he's extremely unapproachable. Well, you said it right to his wife. That's a good thing. Who? Well, he was trying to push me for information. How about you? It's like, yeah, he's trying to give me information about you talking bad about you, but I don't do nothing. I'm a secret keeper. I'm going to say nothing about nobody. No time. Well, I've got nothing to hide. It's what he wants. He wants this. And Joe is like, you can feel the division in the deck room. I'm just trickling down from Nathan. He's got to defend that. I guess me now. I'm like, because you're undermining him because I pouted when he came back. I could just feel it in my bones. He's going to come back with this new day. He's going to flaunted my face. I'm like, Oh, look, I've got to know it. New toy. Well, that's true too. He will do that. You guys are all right and you guys are all wrong at the same time. Congratulations. Yeah. You're both terrible.

4:18So we do get the new deck key and people have been speculating who are they going to bring back? Who is it going to be? How do you follow up Max? It's a new guy. Yeah, we've never seen him. Massie. Massie. Massie. How do you pronounce it? Well, maybe I'm a superman out there like three times out loud. So I wouldn't forget how to do it by the time we got to the show. And I'm still not remembering. Massie. Massie. Massie. Massie. Massie. I'm going to say Massie. I'm a Italian now. Italian, Massie. Yeah. He's like a real quirky kind of guy. He's a real sort of skinny guy with angular features and a ponytail. And he's like, usually I'm the guy in charge, but I'm going to love the no responsibility thing. I'm your problem. And he tells us if you couldn't tell, I'm for me to leave. I don't have any blood in my veins. I'm just espresso and cigarettes and stress. And I've been yapping for 10 years and I've been on small boats, a big boat. I've been a decade. I've been a boss on a few times. What does it mean? As I'm a see.

5:21I just love smoking. What do you mean I can't smoke in here? In the confession. Come on. He literally lights up the cigarette like I mean he is so Italian. He's like, I just want to do. I just want to see. But my life is happy. And like, I'm now see you can't do that. And you know, what do you mean? I can't do that too. But I'm Italian. I can't smoke anywhere in the world. Yeah. Yeah. This guy is definitely ready for TV. I think this was his whole audition. Like, ah, don't even have blood in my veins. I just can't be in a nicotine. Why? I love him. I love him. Like, straight right away. I love this guy. So he just are also kind of like he's really cute. He's not cute at all. There's nothing bad on his cute. But there's something these like sort of spindly and like awkward. And I don't know. I think he's sort of adorable. So then he shouldn't be any known as breath just a reeks of smoke at all times. But on this one platform, Sandy meets Massey and I'm like, hey, hey, Massey Sandy, Massey Sandy. Okay. Get ready for a hug. Do they hug in Italy? Because guess what? They hug on this boat. And they and by they I mean me. Okay, get in here. Massey.

6:35Have you say little bear in Italian? In English, we say little bear. I know what you told me is little better. Well, that's a word for it. Little bear. That's beautiful. What a gorgeous language. God, no, what do you guys came up with pasta? Jesus, your mouth is full of beauty. I'm gonna tell you that right now, Massey. Okay. And cigarettes. Lots of guys. You're smoking three cigarettes at one time. That's something. Jesus. We actually took up stuff from these, but that's okay. So then Massey is like, really is that true? Markable, little baby. Markable, little baby. Isn't that the whole thing Markable? You wouldn't know from being Italy. That's for sure. Just you just told Italy off with, yeah, I'm just gonna be wrong. Todd, a lesson. I'll tell you that because when I went to Italy, they were very much like we made the pasta. So what do you think of that? I left your work. It's a myth. Apparently it's a myth. But apparently, you told me, I'm glad you, I'm glad you, I

7:41invested that because I was literally mortified right now, but Italy is such a liar. So I'm glad that no, no, no, it's just apparently it's just like some urban legend. The National Pasta Association has a very rigorous timeline about pasta. Apparently it did pre-exist. You know, I don't even know. This is, this is too important on topic for me to research on the fly. So we're just gonna say that everyone had pasta. But apparently Markable is a cost-in-off option away from somebody. You can't just give that to anybody. Markable. You know, he invented a pool game that sucks. That's what he invented. That is 100%. Markable. Oh, Markable. Oh, shut the fuck up. All of you, all of you shut up. Open your eyes. Yeah, but anyway, it's more Markable. So there's that. Everyone, congratulations. We all learned something. Yeah. Liar Polo. I invented the pasta. Oh, sure you did, Markable.

8:44Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What a jerk that he like, Markable goes off to China. He sees noodles and he comes back and then he takes credit for pasta in Italy, when it was already in like, that's just not right. No, he's a master. And how many kids have choked on water playing his game? This is not a good person. Okay. So meanwhile, they were saying hi to the new guy, but Jen hasn't seen him yet. She's like, oh my god, there's a new guy coming. Oh, I'm just gonna, I'm either like, push up my booze and when he comes in, I'm just gonna like bend over and be like, I, I, no one sheets will be ready for me. Yes. And then he walks in and she's like, oh, because she was hoping it would be like another Luke type, but instead she got mossy. And of course, you got like a five eight. It was just like, ew, gross. I don't want to fuck him. What a worthless human being. Yeah, my type is like six foot four really hot, possibly a model, super worked out at all times. Like that's like basically my type. That's all of our types.

9:56I know. I know. I love when people come up with shit like that. Like, oh, look at me as I'm just an original human being who looks for the spirit in person. It's like, no, it's just tall and hot basically. Um, so, uh, so, so Massey, however, meets joy and he really likes joy. He's like, he's like, oh, joy. She's beautiful. I'm not usually nervous, but whoa, oh my god, somebody let me a cigarette because you told me I can't let my own. Oh, my goodness. Like, Massey, please, please don't try to smoke the chair that you also can't smoke chairs. It's like, oh, I just need to have some sort of smoke in my lungs right now. The deal with joy. Oh, my goodness, beautiful. Markable. Markable. Oh, no. In the galley, Luke text joy. She gets up. And it's Luke. He's like, boom, jeer. Hope this charter is better than the last.

10:58It's a selfie of me and you. So, why is he trying so hard every single day? I don't believe that this person acted like that where it's like, oh, I really like you. And then goes and basically bang somebody else twice the night after they were flirting with you. And then suddenly needs to see you and talk to you every day. What is that? I know this guy, this is definition of love bombing right here. We always talk about love bombing and on next gen New York City is Liam. Love bombing. Is he not this right here? Is pure unadulterated love bombing served on a silver platter with possibly some seem an on it. This is it's everyone. Love splooching. Love like an actual thing, not a safe, not a sink. So in the pantry, cat and Cooper flirting. It's like, oh my god, I'm gonna do laundry. You are don't tell nobody bad. It could be like our legs. You say, oh my god, you're a bad face.

11:58Be mean to me. Be mean to me right now. Hey, you're short. Okay, that really hurt actually. I really heard me. We just talked to me right now. I don't know where we say that. That is very cat that actually like really hurt right. I believe that's her all season. I'm actually like feeling really hurt by that. Oh my god, you know what? There's a girl here from Charleston. You should talk to her. Oh my god, did you see him? He's talking to that girl from Charleston. What the hell? I'm actually really hurt by that. Really hurt. That said, I do love her and he does that quick little jackass. I just love that she's always like, oh, it's so cool with this. And the next minute, she's like, oh, it's not cool. It's not cool. She never should have agreed. Ever, ever, ever, ever. Well, that's how you know not to do it when you've done it before. You know, that's how I know not to do it.

13:01I'm just like, oh, that's a secret. Oh yeah. The only person I'll tell is your wife. Oh, everybody calm down. Calm down. Ronnie was never the other woman. I'm going to sleep with my own husband. I'm certainly not going to sleep with yours. That's right. So, yeah, is this, did you mention how Jant what Jen says in this moment when Jen says your beef is so funny? I mean, I'm not going to be glad things didn't work out. Could you imagine? So, Cooper's like keeping our relationship secret was definitely the right move. I mean, Chris, there's enough. No one's on to us. And I feel like it's adding a layer of fun, not quite as fun as Captain Montefitian putting my above ground pool. I'm turning into aquarium, but pretty close to that sort of fun. Because now I can walk the breezeway and shoot a little wink through the window and know what has to know. No pressure. Well, everyone knows it. Everyone sees it. I can't believe I'm going to say those, but like I think it's like been really good.

14:01I mean, Cooper's a terrible actor. And I'm like, I'm not really going to either. Like one time in school, I auditioned for the little mermaid. And I wanted to be the little mermaid. But I got cast as like one of the flatsums, you know, the eel. That's how I got cast. That's how much I suck. That's like the role I was born to play flatsum and jets. Well, not Karella. What's your name? The sea witch? It's her name. Ursula Ursula. Yeah, that's my role. But, you know, I would probably end up understudying Ursula, which means I would be playing flatsum and jets. I might kill it. Well, it's a good role. To be fair, Kat is very sort of like floppy arm and everything. And she does sort of have like the natural movements of like one of those ribbon eels that goes like through the water. Like, like I see it. I see why she was cast. It's not an insult. It's just you got to go really strong. I don't think I think what's about to shake that is a comment.

15:02She's got a bit of cast as an eel. You're not saying she was a more real. I'm saying she was a ribbon eel. A ribbon eel is very beautiful. It goes like a little ribbon through the water. Have you ever seen a ribbon eel? Did we ever see a ribbon eel during the fish report? Reelble on YouTube. I feel like we must have at some point, but I don't know. It's thundering in Los Angeles. I of course have to interrupt the podcast to mention that because it thunders all of six times per year. And so that was one out of five. Very exciting. It's pretty good, babe. You've only got a few more months to add them up. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. So now before the year is over, I'm already counting till the end of the year. It's only September. Like well, New Year's right around the corner. Start wrapping it up here. Start wrapping it up. Okay, point is, um, Kaylee is talking about how there's a DJ coming tonight for the theme. A polka liptic grill and

16:02yeah, it's not fun. And then Sandy texts max by the way. And she's like, Hey, Max, hope you and your data, okay? Send us a status update when you can. Assuming you haven't stepped on a land mine. One of the biggest issues in Libya. Be careful out there. Bloop. Bloop. Yeah. Okay. I'll send you my status. It's not single for long. Wait a second. Did I just send that to Norma by accident? Norma. I was telling Max not to step on any landmines, but I guess if there's anyone who knows anything about that. It's anyone who agrees to go on a date with you, huh? Bloop. Wow, speaking of landmines, I made Max's dad explode. Yeah, I got its number off the CV. And by the way, I don't mean literally. I just mean painlessly. Bloop. You know, it's funny. At least Max's dad does something that you haven't done in most of about 10 years, laundering something.

17:05Bloop. Bloop. Well, I smell fresh as a daisy, which is why everyone wants to crawl into my bed. Okay. Sorry that you smell like the bottom of trash can. Sandy, stupid. Nothing, nothing you can do can bring me down. I'm talking to Max's dad. All I have to do is give him my bank account and routing number. Bloop. Wow. Well, have fun going off to Libya more like, more like smelly when you get there. That's what they're going to be doing when you get there. Smell and yeah. Love you, bitch. Love you, too, bitch. Be careful out there. So Joy is happy to have happy guests today. Oh, thank God, the happy guests. They let me create. They trust me, which makes me more composed. I'm not anxious. They make me not want to commit me. It's good for everybody.

18:06That is good for everybody. And the crew mass, coop and Asian break and coop text cat that he can't wait for their nice hangout. So they, they, crew diet out. I'm sorry. And then because they're going to hang out. And he's like selfies and Asian's like, what's going on over there? How are you, dear? What's going on? You're in the car. And he's like, um, I don't know. We're just chilling. I think we're just getting tired because everybody's like, they all want to talk about, you know, I think we're just trying to be friends. We're definitely friends. Definitely. Right. You believe me. Coup, who just said five minutes ago, let's be sure to keep this sacred is like, yeah, well, we act made to each other. But then we're really in love with each other. But don't tell nobody because it's a secret. Okay. Yeah. And then cats talking to Kaylie and cats like, yeah, we're just friends. And because like, okay, Laia.

19:06Sorry. I accidentally coughed over there. It's you're a laia. She's like, um, anyway. Oh, my, my, my, my, my. Now Nathan and Joe are talking to Massey and Nathan's like, wow, look at that. Massey. I just, you just walked off the boat yesterday and look how well you're doing already. You're doing so great. That is a boys in material right there. Right, Joe? Well, being a boss on, I'm going to go back on the boat after I'm done here. Nathan's like, wow, unreal. I mean, you're so good. The way you're just standing there on the swim platform, you're standing like a real boss on, it's like, I can see you're engaging your quads in a certain way that only a real true boss on would do that better than any lead deck. And that I know that's for sure. It was like there was a storm, but now that Massey's here, everything's cleared up. You're a storm clearer, Massey. You should add that to your CV. It's like, thank you. I love to be here. I bring some fun. Now you bring some happiness is what you bring. Joe's like, I once was lost, but now I'm found amazing. Massey.

20:13Or the wind beneath my wings, Massey have changed, have changed the world. I used to see the world in black and white. Now it's yet in color. We are the Massey. We are the future. We are the ones that make a brighter day. So let's start giving. You are beautiful, no matter what they say, I've always found that song offensive. I could have done better there, actually. You're right. No, I hope you dance. What'd you say? I believe the Massey is our future. Teach him well and let him lead the way. So Joe's not loving this because he sees what Nathan's doing. I hate that song so much deeply in my heart. I hate that song too.

21:13I hope you dance. It's right down there with Christina Perry's. I'm only open. Which I say I hate, but I actually listen to. I like that. Yeah, that's a good. Actually, I do like that one. There's a different Christina Perry song that I don't like. But I'm only human. I like because it's such a, it's such a guilt trip. I know me human. It's like, okay, relax. It's fine. I'll do the dishes. So Joe's getting annoyed and he's like, wow, Nathan, if you crawl, if you crawl up, Massey's outside. You're gonna get stuck like that. I'll wait for a wait for some laughter on that one. That was a good one. I have no clue what dynamic you're on. What dynamic on board is gonna be like the rest of the season. But I'm getting worried. So everyone's relaxing. There's cat setting up dinner table and she's like, um, toop. I think people are like starting to catch on.

22:17I think it's like, what else? Um, because we, I don't know, but we need to be meaner to each other. Yeah, okay. I'm for sure, but I'll throw you a wink if it's if it's fake. She's like, yeah, okay. I'll text your mom if you're too mean to me. And she follows me on Instagram now. So no, I'm just gonna figure this out. Okay, I'm going to try it. You're putting the wrong fork down. That's supposed to be a dessert salad for. Hey, that was really helpful. That's wonderful. Coming for my job. That was like beyond the bounds of our game. So cat comes up and she said, I'll carry comes up and she's like, Hey, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt a moment of romance between you two? No. No. I'm just trying to get back to work over here. That's it. We're not love at all. They're horrible. I have big nice joy there. So Asia is talking to Joy about cakes. And she's like, if I'm ever with you on my birthday, I want a carry cake.

23:23And Joy tells a story about how she's like, you know, when I sit for American, I would like you guys put girls in your cake. I said, oh my god. But then I tasted it. And I was like, Oh no. Oh, it is pretty fresh. It's amazing. I love it. Second only to needle cake. It's so delicious. So we go to the Sunday and Sandy is meeting up with Joe and Nathan. And Nathan is like, wow, look at this. I've organized the last red. Look at that. I've got it looking pretty good. Well, what do you think about that captain Sandy? How do I look like I was born yesterday? I mean, I have been doing salmon skin facials or salmon sperm facials, but good lord. Hey, I'm too old to fall for that one. Good nice try, Nathan. Organize. So that's a red. Fucking laser red motherfucker. I'll tell you what you need to organize. You're showing up for your court cases. Or well, how do we have we not found Nathan yet?

24:31How where is this man? Find him. I don't know. I would imagine a bar somewhere. Well, really think it's that difficult. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So she asked Joe how he likes the new guy. He likes him. And she's like, are you sweating? He's like, yeah, because it's hot in the lies. Okay. Well, you missed that one. Well, it's been a great talk with the both of you. Yeah, really great. Love a laser. Yeah, I'm not going to be a laser red. You know what? If I ever it's funny because when I was younger, I wanted to invent a cough drop and call it laser red. But turns out last year, what do you think? Okay, good chat. Good chat. Well, actually, now that I think about it again, I am going to invent a cough drop. And it's going to be called the laser red. And it's for lesbians with coughs. You know, no one's thought of that yet. And as she's going to she's going to promote it.

25:31You can't keep the air conditioning off for five minutes without our coughing. Chill out it. It's right. That's right. So Sandy gets a message from Max. It's a video message. And it's a max in like a Jeep. It's like it's like a. He's driving through the desert on like something that's barely even a road. And his dad is sitting with a pameranian on his lap. And I say, oh, that's not it. Guess what we are doing it. I'm going to hold my father. I got to him. He got a little doggy in the middle of fucking nowhere. It's the safaré. Anyway, everything is good. Everything is being sorted. He did somehow find his dad in the middle of the Sahara. And he has a Jeep and they're driving off to Libya to freedom. And I don't understand. I don't understand what's happening over there. That's really crazy. I was surprised that we saw this because there's been so much speculation on whether this is just made up. If this is a story, but I don't know. I bought it because that looked like a Jeep that you just hot wire on the side of a road and drive through the desert with your elderly father in this tiny pameranian. I mean, I bought it.

26:44It was literally just one of it's just one of the craziest. It's just one of the craziest things that we've seen. It really is. Oh, my gosh. He did it. He did it. He saved us that it's like some Liam needs to shift right there. Yeah, it's something that's for sure. I still have many questions and I would like to hear answers. So then we go to Jen and Kat's cabin and they're getting ready for dinner service and Jen is in search of her cloak. She needs a cloak for her apocalyptic look. And Coup is calling out for her because she's asking about against laundry or something like that. And she's of course very flirty with him. And so she starts like touching his chest and stuff. And she's like, oh, my God. I keep touching you weirdly. Sorry. I don't mean to be weird with you. Anyway, he's like, oh, it's okay. Don't worry. You can touch me every wall.

27:50Sorry. Was that your nipple? Wow. Glull, score. Score, everybody. I'm just kidding. I'm not totally not ideal. Yeah. Light down right now. Pull out your penis. I'm kidding. I am kidding. What are you talking about? I'm not flirting with you. Hey, I just wanted to say I think you like so much for always being so nice to me. Cause it's like I really, I really haven't clicked with anybody. But like is it really good to dick with you? I mean, click with you. What? Oh my God. So embarrassed. And then Jen goes back into her cap and she sees cat and cats like, oh my God. Like what happened? And Jen's like Cooper was just like sureless. And then I touched his nipple. But just his nipples. Don't you worry. And cats like, do I have to like watch out for you? Cause this is actually kind of holding me. She's like, please. I thought you weren't into that anymore. Whatever. Fresh meat for me. Oh my God. I hope she's not serious. So we go to the crew mass and Nathan is texting gal.

28:55New deckie knows his stuff. Maybe I'll put Joe in his place. Hope he got some rest and give my boy some good cuddles for me. Heart. This is the guy who's got a son now. Test in case you forgot. Family means everything as evidence by all my actions after this season. So then it's the dinner table and everyone's like, oh my God. What a beautiful day. That's so good. Et cetera. And it's Cassandra's birthday in case you forgot. And then Jeff starts to do Jeff gives a speech. And he's like, this is her birthday. But she is my gift. She is my gift. Like, okay. I really thought it was going to vomit in a sink again. Yeah. When people say you get choked up, I really thought he was like, she's my. Yeah. My gift. Just my gift. Jeff calm down. Okay. Seriously.

29:57See I'm so happy today. What'd you say? What got him so happy today? He was a real beauty. You know what? You got to be in the wild. That's all you need. God. So now we go to the pantry and Kaylee's Kaylee radio's Jen to do the primary and the guest room. And it's like, okay. Jen, I mean, I'm sorry. Cat. Could you do could you do the primary like I need to do the vacuum at my rest? My wrist really hurts. I twisted my wrist. Um, fontoling your guy getting I'm totally kidding. That was a joke. Yeah. It was but the dipole the nipple did really twist my wrist around. No, when you're doing a titty twister, sometimes it could be hard on the wrist. So then cat is vacuuming for Jen and cats like all season. I've had Jen's back. And I'm getting to the point where I can just like no longer tolerate her negative attitude and like her slacking off at work and blaming it on her wrist injury.

30:59So she's like, three or sort of a Cooper in front of me. It's just like it's almost like this isn't just like a bad attitude anymore. This is just like you're not a good team member. Cat. Yeah. God bless you. But this is something you probably couldn't figure it out many weeks ago. Yeah, but it's starting to bugger more because now she's blatantly going for this guy. You know. Joe comes in to help with dishes and joy is still getting texts from Luke. Look who is fixing me. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm texting him back to but God, he takes me all the time. All the time texting. Yeah. None of this is a good sign, Joy. One. No, that's me on your other text saying, don't do this. Yeah, Joy, please don't go down this path. Um, so it's 10.33 p.m. and the DJ is there and he is spinning and the hours tick by it's 11.30 then it's 12.25, which I'm not paying attention to because I think, what could be the downside?

32:04Um, so everyone's dancing and having fun and messy saying, Landis is a lot of our copy of yesterday and I was in Italy. I packed my bag. I jumped on a plane. I smoke a cigarette in the bathroom at the plane. Get thrown off the plane. Get arrested. Get bailed out. Get the new plane. Smoke on a new plane. Go back to jail eventually after about four or five flies. I decided, okay, I won't smoke a cigarette and then I arrived and now I'm here. It's crazy. Did I even have a shower today? No. I love when people travel and they say things like, isn't it crazy? We were in one place an hour ago and now we're in another place. I literally am that person. I'm like, isn't it wild that I was in New York today? Anonymous Angeles. It is wild. I'm sorry. I'm still amazed by your travel. So now we go to the crew mess and Kaylee is texting her mom. It's about to be the anniversary of her brother's passing. So she talks about that. It was my teen years ago, but they still get together and they still celebrate and, you know, come together whenever the day comes.

33:09And then we go to the main, which by the way is a kink for Joe, just to warn you, just to warn, but we've already seen this plot before. Don't fall for it. Yeah. And so I don't know. I'm just like laughing. It's a kink for Joe kink warning. So then it's late at night and someone say it's early in the morning and Jen's wiping on a comfortable and all of a sudden there's sirens. And here comes the police boat. We put the moment we've been waiting for. Why is that? Why are the police here? So I'm assuming, well, they apprehended Max at the border with his dad and the legal contraband and the dad's wanted. And then you just get a reference from Max said that to call captain. I just assume some some crazy thing. But, uh, nope. It's a nice thing happened. And also the these cops will do at least they did a funny version of the scene, you know, the way they put it together because the cops come and they're like, oh,

34:10Oh, but the cameras out of all face. We will not have cameras in our face. What the hell? Why are you putting a Darth Vader filter over? They're over the police guys. It was so funny. This is like, I'm sorry. The captain was a slave. Do you want me to wake up the captain? Yes. Wake up the captain immediately. Oh my God. Are you flirting with me? Oh my God. I can see that body under there. What officer? What? Just guess a captain. You're not gonna find nipples. Whatever you say, you always have those two strange brids hanging down. What you noticed. Oh my God. Luke. I want to fuck your father. Can it get it? Can it? Somebody? Come on. Here comes one right now. So yeah, they pulled the captain out of her room. And it's all because there was noise on the boat in the middle of the ocean at night.

35:20You guys have better things to do. Don't my taxes pay for more than this. My ocean taxes. I want to know who called the police. Who called the police on this boat? Because the music was like until 12.30. It was probably the little party or said the doc. Yeah. What about them? Always late. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. They're probably there the first ones to turn off their music. You're like, oh, those neighbors sure are being loud. No. So someone reported loud music. It's 11 p.m. as the curfew. So Sandy's like, hey, I'm real sorry. I promise it won't happen again. Here's a brand. You know, and if you want a little hug and it sounds like your voice is a little horse. It's a little bit deep. Would you care for a lasorette? It's my own proprietary brand. This time I give you a warning. Next time I destroy your planet. I would love to see below deck dot star. Like, hi, I'm Captain Sandy and I'm used to running a super yop.

36:20And now I run a super planet. It's 2026. So it's kind of below deck super planet. It's kind of like the below deck regular planet. But in this one, everybody has dad issues. And then when the studios have to take something from the from like the kitchen all the way up to the main deck. They're there. They're like 60,000 steps of the surface. Like, we really got a kitchen close to the top of the top of the top of the death star. Do we really have to have our kitchen buried right in the center of the death star? I love a spaghetti. Wester spaghetti. Space operas spaghetti western. No, just spaghetti. All right. Well, it wasn't space western anyway. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. There's a rat. Okay. Let's talk about lesser rats. So now it's the final day of charter. It's early in the morning. Joy is preparing breakfast. Jo finds Aisha.

37:24And he asked for a lantern and some candles because he wants to do something special for Kaylee and the past and for baby brother. Now listen, I've learned one thing. When a sibling passes, it's a method I'll probably get paid. All right. Thank you. Make this special. All right, toots. I'm going to show America that I'm a good guy. Meanwhile, Jen is on the phone with her mom. She's like, Mom, my wrist is like really fucked up. I'm just going to show you something. Look, look, this wrist, like it goes this way. And this wrist goes this way. Like, I mean, I'm fucking dealing with it. My wrist. I'm so over this shit. I'm not even get promoted. Your mom's like, I'm not really interesting Instagram me in the other day that said, don't put your hands up and defeat. Put your hands in the pile and put your hands together. Okay. Are we done here? I'm really busy.

38:25Honey, you know, honey, I'm so sorry. I wasn't listening because I was reading a profile about Danny McBride in the New Yorker. Can you take it from the top? Thank you so much. So Jen's like, I literally only have like two charters. Well, I like hopefully I'll make a mom like seriously. I'm like terrible. So we go to the deck and Sandy is telling the crew to haul the anchor. Massey does it. He's amazing. She like, wow, look at you. What do you knew? I couldn't even tell. You're a pro. This was a made of fantastic. I'm like, God, you're the, you're the GG Fernandez of Inca Pauline. I don't know what that is, but if it's in some sort of cigarette, I thank you. So Joe, Joe now was over to his sort of position in the hierarchy to Massey. Hey, Massey, we normally turn the anchor wash on and Massey's like, well, Nate, I'm not told me not to. You can see the water was pretty clear to see the shackles. He's like, cool.

39:31Okay. And Joe walks away all angry. He's like, he was rebuffed by Massey. He was found his instructions. Yeah, Massey's like, I've been here one night. They're already going at each other. Why am I talking like that? It's too many accents. It's there's too many accents I'm doing badly to add another one on top of all of those. But like, uh, live, live or put Leon in an Irish and an Italian accent. I don't think it's that. I don't think they were two French ones. I'm still on Lezzaret. And then New Zealand. The many different facets of the English accent. So here comes breakfast and Kaylee, Kaylee asked Jen if she's going to wear her wrist brace and Jen's like, no, because then people just ask questions. And I just don't like people fussing. I'm like, but all you do is talk about your wrist. If they don't want people to ask about your wrist. Okay, fine. Yeah. So they dock. Then it's fine. Yeah, they docked the guests get the hell out of there. Jeff Barfs all over everybody in the sky.

40:35Now it's time for tip meeting charter seven. You guys smashed it. Gosh. Massey, Massey, Massey. You came on board. That's basically the entire cast of secret lives of Mormon wives. Massey, Massey, and Massey. Okay. You guys, you, you coming on board. It was such a pleasure. Okay. The tip is 26,000 dollars. Yeah. Is that great? Like, yay. So now Joe and Massey are talking about their, their families. Massey's like, I miss my mom as well. And Joe's like, I know, bro, my mom's like me best friend and so is me little sister. And she's in yachting. I'm like, oh, really? Maybe one day you will step up as a boss on and you will take her as a deck head. He's like, that's what I'm hoping for. But unfortunately, they for he doesn't know what he's doing. So then hopefully in the future, I'll be the type of man who can say, hey, pull in a hose. And a new guy will actually listen to me.

41:37I guess I'm just a guy who follows orders and cleans up Lazarus on his own. So then we have a nice little moment where Joe invites Kelly to the Sunday and he has a little flower for her. And he's like, I want you to look at what time it is on your phone. She's like, it's 12 a.m. But it's Sydney, right? Yes. What day? And then she realizes. And she starts to cry because it is now the anniversary of her brother's passing. So he can he can he can he can for a tour. She cries in his arms. And he gets like a little lantern that they can put in the water to honor him and they send it off. And because I get float. You can do it. It floats. I'm so dramatic. They should got that for you. I know. Also, can you like not? Could you like not put the floating fire next to all the boats? Yeah, we're the worst Mary time on now. I know. It's a very nice gesture. But I was also like, there's a lot of boats here.

42:40So afterwards everyone's going to get ready to go out and everything and cat and Kayleigh are talking. And Jen is can hear everything they're saying. And she hears cat say something along the lines of like, God, I wish we had been roommates or like, why weren't we roommates or wouldn't it be great if we were roommates? God, I wish it was the two of us. So Jen hears that and it's like, right, thanks. Yeah. Well, because they're like doing here together or something. I call my god, how are we not roommates? Yeah. So, so Jen goes to coup. Basically, she runs into coup and she's like, oh my, he's like, you can't look to sign with that coral. Really? Wow, it's crazy. Like, did you almost just kiss me because you thought I was cat? Stop. Okay, you could do that. Just practice on it. Just call me cat. Just do it. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Yeah. And so then where were we?

43:40She's like broke. I'm like seriously having a bad day. I really need a hug from a person who's over six foot and works out. Yeah. Oh, that's really good. Thanks. What's wrong? She's like, I just, I feel up. I miss my friend. I just feel like I don't fit in especially with the stews. You know, I'm saying. He's like, well, we'll make sure to include you. That's for sure, man. So then they now enjoy. I'm in swing swing around. I'm the third. I'm your third. I'm, yeah. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Get your hands off me. I'm just kidding. Let's keep acting. So then we go to Joyce cabin. So when she, when she wants to flirt with somebody, she does kind of a guilt thing because remember, she did this with the other guy to Luke. When she was like, yeah, well, I just want you to know like my last relationship, like ended up really badly and it was horrible. And I'm still there. And then when he shows somebody else, she's like, oh my god, you knew what happened in my last relationship.

44:45Yeah. She's like, you, I'm letting you know that if you mess with me, you're going to like, that's going to be on you because now you know how up in hurt. So meanwhile, Joy gets a text from Luke and he's like, I miss you, Ma Renn. Be on the lookout for little surprise. Ma Renn means I think my queen. So she's like, dokey. Now they'll go out on the water taxi. And Jen is watching his Kelly and Kat are taking selfies with each other. But like, no, Jen's not in those selfies. So coupe is like, oh, look at that sunset over there, Jen. I love it. I love a sunset, you know. And Jen's like, yeah, I can see you off like on a fishing boat. Isn't that funny? Isn't that hot? Don't you want to fuck me? And he's like, yeah, I wish you could see me back on Charles. They'll be cool. Yeah, well, Florida's not really that far off from Charleston. So like, maybe we can just like be together. Yeah, I will, I will be with you. I will move to Charleston. Yes.

45:46I love it above ground pool aquarium. So she Jen's like, I think that Cooper is like very much a flirt and I respect it because I'm the same way. And I could see it getting carried away on like, you know, a night out in Fort Lauderdale. But we should see. I don't know, crazy nights in Fort Laudies. So Sandy is enjoying her time off with no crew, meanwhile, and she's wearing her sperm mask or whatever her like salmon sperm mask or whatever. She's like, wow. God, my wife Leah was really right about this one. This feels great. Yeah, she's good. Wow, I should text Norma. She could wear this on her face. People might actually date her. Till she took it off. That would be a shame. God, it's really a shame being me into Norma just by myself with no one to hear me. If a Norma falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, is it still funny? So then we go over to Kasar restaurant and everyone's ordering dinner and Masi is saying how happy he is and they all cheer him.

46:51And then Jen is sitting next to Cooper and being very flirty and she's like, she's like, oh my God, Cooper. Like, why are sunglasses on already? Oh, there are droves. Wow, they really suit you. You'd look a bit more like a fuck boy with it. So he poses or yeah, he poses with his biceps. He's like, look at my arms. Yeah, look good. Oh my God. Look at those biceps. Take it off. Oh my God. It was actually, yeah, fuck boy. I'm a fuck girl. I'm getting us to right now. I'm like seriously right now and cats getting uncomfortable. So what is going on in here? And then at the other end of the table, Aisha is asking Masi about his experience and he's saying how he was a captain. So this is actually like a downgrade for him. And Nathan's like, I like that. I'm not very adoptable. That's cool. I love someone who is adoptable. And so Joe is like, he's listening. He's like all upset. And then we're doing Nathan. You know, we were good brothers. But now I must feel like we're divorced couple. We're forced to work in the same job as uncomfortable place to be. I really don't believe that we're going to find a way back to Saru.

47:59We know we don't care. Jam and Cooper are still kind of flirting. She's like, oh my God. Look at Cooper. Like he's wasted, bro. Cause like a look at his hair. I like his starting to get like all messed up. Oh my gosh. I'm going to put your hair up right and back. Oh my gosh. Look at that. What I hang on some boy. Basically from Charleston now. You want me to look a little bit of my hand and put in your hair like your mom. Oh. And so Cooper. She's playing with his hair. And then she's like, I'm so tired of hearing Cooper. She says, why? What do you want? What do you want us to call you? He goes, and she goes, okay, massive cock. And then she's like, wasn't that so funny? Everyone massive cock. Which is like, everyone's like, what the fuck? Which honestly, you really shouldn't be saying that to your co worker. I think that would get you written up at the HR very quickly. And she's like, oh my God, your hair is crazy. I'm just putting the vibes out there. I just want like the vibes out there. Like we all have needs. I'm a right guy.

48:59Yeah. And everyone's kind of cringing basically because it's another gem moment. And to always just watching this. And she says, I think Jen is a venomous person. But she would learn the other way. It's common life. The universe is watching you. Not my problem. So Jen goes to the bathroom and cats. Like, what is happening, Cooper? I mean, it's just like so disrespectful. And if I were you, I'd be like, what are you doing? Yeah, it's a lot for me because like, I don't know. She's like, don't say that. Like, I understand why you wouldn't why you wouldn't like say something. Like, honestly, I want to cry. It's like really bad. It's actually like really hurtful. It's like, we'll talk more later. You're missing up our our act that we got going for people. No, this is why you wanted to have an act so that you could do whatever the fuck you wanted. And that she would have to just sit there and shut up and take it. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, your act's not exactly out for you.

49:59Because you could there, you can still shut it down with Jen and not betray anything about the secrecy, but you're not you're not shutting it down, which means you're enjoying it. Yeah. And he saw, yeah, he's not only not shutting it down. He's doing it back to her, which he continues to do for the rest of the night. And then he pulls this like, oh, I don't understand. I'm not hurting someone's feelings. You know what you're doing. It's not the first time. And then you continue to do it all might even after she cries. So whatever. So he gives her an app game. He's like, what your face? And she's like, no, I don't want to be like, obviously, I'm crying. You're sitting at the table crying with like 10 other people. They don't. Yeah. Yeah. And she goes, I mean, we all know Jen is controversial, but like, I'm so disappointed because Cooper, like, he doesn't even care that he made me feel less than. That's like not so cool. So yeah. That's how it feels. So then they go. They're walking. It's at dinner after dinner and Asian cat are like talking. And it's just like, am I dreaming? Oh, Jen and Cooper being flirty.

51:04It's just like, yeah, it's like so disrespectful. You know, he's like, okay, well, I'm on the watch. I don't know if you remember this, but Nathan's a father now. So he goes home after the dinner to be with Kelly and the baby. And then, um, Masi comments on Asia's dancing because Asia is ashing hard. She's just like that. She loves to get up and say, DJ like a lafayette. Even. Yeah. She's not just about that DJ person. He's like, uh-huh. I'm really sorry. He's like, he's dancing. He's like, oh, I'm back on it. So then, uh, Kaylee and Joe are dancing and Kaylee's like, I just love what we hear. He's like, no sixth before marriage. She goes, it's hard with my panties are wet for you.

52:06I was like, oh, not for Joe. Please Kaylee. I like you. I raised your standards. Yeah. So um, Kat and Coup sit down to talk and he's like, so what's been going on with James? Like, well, she's not a good coworker and she slacked off a lot. She doesn't give a fuck about me. I'm like, literally flirting with you in front of my face. Like, uh-huh. And then you don't shut it down. That's also a problem, Co. It's like, well, I struggled to say no, though. I'm a yes, man. But you won't. You're like that with everybody, but her. Yeah. You said no to her very clearly. People like that always are not like that with the person that are being to like, I'm just, I can never say no to anybody. But that's all you do to her. What are you talking about? All you do. It's a great point. Um, and he's like, oh, I just, I don't know. I don't want to know. I don't want to hurt people. I don't want to be. It's like, you're, you would rather like not her gents feeling than you would.

53:07I don't want to hurt people that you are have some sort of romantic affection for. So it's all turned around and stupid. And the whole situation is quite frankly very stupid. And as, as the great of you, the dresser once said, you're both low class, quite frankly. Um, so, uh, coupe is like, oh, did you just hit me with a what are we? Because, because, because cat says like shut it down. Because what are we shut down? He's like, wait, you hit me with a what are we? She's like, what are we doing? It's like, well, we decided the whole secret relationship to make things uncomplicated. And now it's a mouth. It's on the exact opposite. Wow. Who could have seen this kind of. Roops. Yeah. And it's so stupid. And then they keep cutting, they keep cutting to Joe and what's her face making out in the hot tub and getting hot and heavy. And then it keeps cutting the cat feeling like, I just don't understand what's going on in our relationship. I'm going to custom making out. I just don't get it. So funny.

54:09But where they edit the show is cracks me up. So now it's four hours before charter. Everyone's waking. Oh, while Joe and Kaylee go to spend the night together. And he's like, calm down. So, yeah. So now the next morning, um, Nathan comes back and calls the deck meeting. And he's like, okay, what have I been thinking in terms of shifts three hours, you know, is just it doesn't work for some people because they wake up three times. So we're going to change it. And now Joe's on night shift midnight to six in the morning. It's like, what the fuck? Oh, okay. Don't make me say you're only going to change your only going to change the graveyard shift or anchor watch rather for the person that you don't like on certain days. Would you want to bet? And then he admits that he's like, yeah, I don't like that guy. Fuck him. Yeah, this is shitty too. Like they're both, they're both, they're both assholes. But like Nathan, this is your lead deck hand. He's the one who's supposed to be like delegating. He's he takes on the responsibilities when you're not around. So like if you're doing something at one part of the boat, Joe is supposed to be the one to oversee the other deckies and you're going to put him on the graveyard shift.

55:20Like what? Nathan's going to hear it from Sandy on this one because this is just a stupid thing to do. I'm sorry. Nathan's a fucking terrible manager. Yeah, a terrible manager. Joe is a terrible employee. They both are just hideous together. Yeah. Nathan's saying, well, you know, he's been talking about shit about me and it's best for us not to interact with each other. So I'll just schedule him at times where he can't see me. Wow. Super mature. Yeah. You know, it's too bad you didn't fuck up your life with all of this personal stuff that you did because wow, you'd really be getting tons of work after people watch this. I know right. Your management style is was wonderful and not petty at all. So then Jan is talking to Kat in the laundry room and Jan's like, hey, are we good because my wrist is hurting today and that usually means I'm not going with someone. So I feel like the vibe has been a little off and she goes, honestly, in the workplace, Jan, I'm going to be so honest. You have been completely disrespectful towards me and like I feel like lately how you've been like, you've been like kind of putting work on me that I don't think you should have been like, for example, the back in the situation was a joke.

56:30Like now it's just like almost like piling up and I'm like biting my tongue and it's just like, it's like fine, but like whatever. But like what else is piling up, like what? She like, yeah, and now we're roommates and you're like flirting with Cooper, you know, like I don't respect someone that treats me poorly. It's not acceptable. So she's like, um, well, like I do apologize because like Cooper asked if I was okay and I was like, no, because like, you know, you and Kaylee specifically been getting really clicky and it's thrown off the vibe. No, no, now it's not the time to accuse somebody else of being clicky. Jen, this is why nobody likes you. Come on. Oh my gosh. And Kat says I like you as a person, but our relationship has changed. Like I don't need your half-assed apology. So Jen just she's like, okay, see ya. So Jen says, I never try to go out and hurt people's feelings. Like that's not me. And Kat has always had my back and I don't want to piss her off after like, you know, let piss her off whether that be work related or boy related.

57:35And now it just feels like I'm completely low on an island and fucking sucks. So I did appreciate that Jen acknowledged that Kat's always had her back. Normally someone who's like as a noxious as this doesn't even have that awareness. So I did appreciate that from her. So meanwhile, hey, decked him everyone. Guess what? Charter number eight preference sheet meeting. Get into your seats. Okay, it's gonna be exciting. Can you believe it's charter number eight? And guess what? It's a girl's trip in sir. The whoo here. Okay, who is ready for this one? Huh? All right, we're gonna have Penny Michelle Christina Heather Reggie and Polly. Well, their friend Callie unfortunately can't be with them due to last minute emergency. So she's with them in spirit in the form of one of Norma's dates. A blow up doll. Well, some have sweet. Yeah, she had all of her limbs amputated, but they are gonna have her as a blow up doll, which I'm sure she'll enjoy seeing when this airs.

58:40So what's going on? And Joe's like the group wants to dive off the famous blue cave snorkeling and explore the natural wonder sets setting the tone for the day and then venture. And it's like, oh, Michelle doesn't need any meat or vegetables or fruit. She only eats carbs. Oh, yes, Michelle. I'm starting to turn into this. I used to eat like a salad every day, at least. And a lot of fruits and veggies other than that. But ever since that stuff started going around, ever since the food, you know, you couldn't eat vegetables or whatever. That was my excuse for like what a week or two. I guess it's not over, but I just never went back. I just I'm sticking to bagels bread and cheese. That's it. I'm eating so many carbs and like I keep telling myself, and stop eating the carbs. Tours coming up. You want to look cute on stage. And I'm just racing in the other direction. Like hardcore going into carbville. So I don't know what's going on. I also mean, it's been such a happy life. I have to say.

59:43Yeah, it's great. It's great. I don't know. I don't know what my but also is. But what I will say is that everyone's back to work. And provisions are coming provisions. And then we were just saying how we never see provisions anymore, but your provisions and amongst the provisions is a delivery of a bouquet of flowers. And the card says it just says to Marin. So Jen is holding the bouquet. This is so annoying because he texted Luke texted keep your eye out for the surprise tomorrow. In its flowers. It's like grocery store flowers really. Yeah. Don't really have me waiting all damn day for some shitty trader Joe's flowers. So seriously. So, so Jen is sitting here holding this bouquet. She's like, anyone, anyone get a bouquet? Who's my rain? Who's my rain? Do we have a mother on board? And her last name is rain? Who is my rain? My rain? So finally joy shows up. She's like, oh yes, these are for me. They're from Luke and Jen's like, what? And she like looks squirrely in the camera. Like, are you kidding me?

1:00:51She does. That was so good. She's throwing me in the camera like, what? She's like, I can not believe that I mean, she is, she's mortified, she's horrified. And she's indignified. She is like, I can't even do this at me. She's, I mean, I feel bad that she's not embarrassed. I think like, I don't mean it's time for her to move forward though. It's like, like girl, she was like, look up. She didn't know. I mean, she didn't, she's acting like she was dating this guy. And this is so unfair. Girl, please. And joy was flirting with, he was flirting with joy at the same time. I see you right in front of you. I can't with Jen. She's ridiculous. And she's embarrassed. She's embarrassing herself by acting like this. By like storming. She's really, she's really, she's okay. And she's like, no, I need a break. Like fuck this charter season. Seriously. And they're like, what? And she's like, oh, she just goes in the bathroom. She just locks herself in the bathroom and starts crying. It was so funny. I mean, Jen, like he did you dirty for sure, but also like, you cannot let this man have this power over you. And he got fire too.

1:02:09Like the, the, the karma worked out for him. You should like, she's just way too. But she's just if she can have, if she can have a tantrum, if she can have a moment, she always is going to take it. And I was just. And the coming up next week clips. We see her texting Luke, second, whatever. Fuck you. You're an asshole or something. And he immediately calls stories like, oh, it got kind of a weird text from Jen. But how? Oh dear. Fun times. Yeah, good times. Thanks so much everybody for being here with us today. I'm coming. We will talk to you tomorrow. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. No thing like Alison King. Our way is the amber way. It's the foster and the furious. It's a man to foster. It's always automatic with Ashley auto. Put your hands together for Carly clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy off it. She's not just to Sheila. She's a damn yellow.

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