1623 - Getting a Teen's Sleep Schedule Back on Track Before School, Wanting Another Baby When Your Partner Doesn't, and Loving Someone But Not Wanting to Live Together

0:00Meet the Red Bull Dragonberry Emergizer. It's one of the many new drinks out now. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire? Try them all only at McDonald's. From the Kiss 92 5 Studios in Toronto, Canada. Oh, dude, praise you, gentlemen. This is Rob's and Mokas. It's Rob's and Mokas going on. Hey guys, it's Bruno Mars. It's a Selena Gomez. The Cheats Mokas. I'm a Chicago Calvin Harris. The Lesnar Carre. You're listening to my boy's Ross and Mokas. Ross and Mokas. My boy's Ross and Mokas. The Ross and Mokas show. Between Ross and Mokas, who is your favorite? Ross and Mokas. I can both go. You guys are so funny, man. Congratulations, Lisa! Wow! He just won a thousand dollars. That is amazing. You all just made my entire morning. Keep it up. You guys are awesome, man. This is the Ross and Mokas show podcast. Ross and Mokas. Fix my life. What advice do you guys give me?

1:00Okay, so my question is, my question is, you got a problem you can't fix? Ross and Mokas. Well, hello there, Sherry. It's Ross and Mokas. You're, boyfriends. Hi guys. How are you? Amazing. How are you today? I'm okay. Yeah, what's going on? Why don't I want to move in with him? Oh my God. Sherry, you wrote us this. Hey, Ross and Mokas. Fix my life. You and your, is it a guy, your boyfriend? Is that who we're talking about? Yeah. Okay, you say that we've been dating for four years. I love him to death. We've been talking about eventually living together since about six months in, although I love him to death and he's my person. I honestly don't know if I want to live with someone anymore. What is the hesitation? Why do you think you don't want to move in? Or what is the reason? Because there has to be a reason. That's a lot of things like life has just changed over those four years. And I think you see somebody with your, with your love goggles when you're, when you're in the beginning. So six months in was, was a little bit early. I would probably say, um, and I do, I love him to death, but I don't know.

2:07I just feel like maybe, maybe I don't need to live with somebody. Sherry, I'm going to pause you for a second here. Yeah. Have you done this before? Like have you had a long-term relationship where you've lived with a man and everything else? And this is number two? Absolutely. I'm divorced. You're divorced. Okay. So now, okay. So this makes, this makes way more sense now. So how long were you married for? I was married for ten years. Ten years and, and any kids? Two. Two kids. And you still, how old are the kids now? They're in their late teens. So, okay. So they living with you? Still? They're, they're actually living 50% with me, 50% with my ex. Okay. So, you're, you're fellow now, is he have kids? Yes. Okay. How old are they? Also mid teens. Midteens. So, if the two of you live under one roof is, does that mean his kids are moving in as well or is it the same as you where he gets 50% and his ex gets 50% of the time? His kids live with his, his ex. Okay. Got it. Okay.

3:07So, you're wondering, so what is that, what do you think the hesitation was? Obviously, at the beginning, you were like, oh my god, this is, you know, new love and we're going to, you know, I went through terrible divorce and now I've been on my own, but I kind of get lonely and wouldn't it be great to have somebody around? So, obviously, you were going through all of that. And now, what is it? Is it that you realize that your teens are a little bit older and are going to be moving out soon or going off to college and you are so, oh, very close to being an empty nester and finally having some peace and quiet and you don't want to ruin that with the guy. Like, what's your, what's your feeling? It's funny. I don't think I ever thought of it the way that you just said it, but that you're feeling it. Yeah, that does kind of ring true now that you say it out loud. Oh, okay. Yeah. Like you, you see, you see it. You see it. You know, I'm not saying you don't love your kids, but you see like a little bit of a brand new life coming at you in a little while, right? Which, which is, oh my god, I can get to be on my own.

4:08Since the last time you were on your own completely with no, no husband, no fiance, no kids. How long ago was that? Yeah, probably before I was married then. A long time, right? 20 years. 20 years. 20 years? Some years ago. Oh, so now you're so close to that moment. You don't want someone else in your space because then you lose that moment that you're so close to. Yeah, I guess, I guess potentially if you want to say it that way, you all just made me sound so selfish. Well, I mean, I think you are being selfish, but I don't know if this is necessarily a bad thing. Like sometimes we're selfish for self preservation reasons, right? Like, you know, you sort of, you can, you're the only gauge of your own sort of, you know, mental well-being and your own ambitions and aspirations. The only thing that I would say is that you got to be honest with the guy. Yeah. Right? Like is he pushing to move in right now? Is he the one that's having or bringing up these conversations? No. Not necessarily. Like we, we also have an hour of distance between us. Yeah.

5:09Okay. There's, there's commute. There's work. There's kids. There's the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the two of you or one of you would have to move closer to the other? Yeah. Yeah. Got it. And he wants you to move in with him? Kind of. I think he's, he's kind of mentioned here and there that like he might come this way, but he's enjoying his job and like things are good there. So I just kind of, I don't know, suddenly lately, I'm feeling that like, well, are we good as we are? Yeah. I think that I, whatever you decide, right? It's up to you. But after four years and, and you guys have had a lot of conversations. So it's not weird for him to be thinking that this is going to happen because this was the plan, right? Yeah. But I would, I would only say this, whatever the conversation is, you have to be completely honest. And if the reality is, I like things the way we are, I don't want to move in. And this is not me just hitting pause on a decision. This is me saying it's not going to happen.

6:11You have to be honest with him. You can't leave that door open thinking with him thinking that this is just like a temporary thing. If you're not, if you're not going to change your mind, because then he's got to make a decision too, right? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So whatever you decide, you just have to be, you got to be like compassionate, but you got to be blunt with your, with your explanation as to why. Okay. You guys are the best. Well, you know, you're only going to get the truth from Rosamoka. I love you guys. Yeah. You are so close to emptiness. You are so close. I know right. I'm so close, Sherry. Wow. You're not making it any better. Hi, Sherry. All the best, girl. Thank you guys so much. Rosamocus. Fix my life. What advice do you guys give me? Okay. So my question is, my question is, I'm going to give you a few questions. I'm going to give you a few questions. I'm going to give you a few questions. I'm going to give you a few questions. You guys give me. Okay. So my question is, my question is, you got a problem. You can't fix. Ros and Mokigachi. Yo Sam, how are you, man? It's your boyfriend's Rosamoka. I'm going great. How are you guys doing? You're amazing. Why are you on FML, dude? So I want to have another baby with my wife of 20 years. We have a kid already and she did not answer with because she thinks our life is already

7:14complete. Okay. First of all, you need a new phone more than you need a new baby. So move, figure that out, man. In the next couple of seconds, like move around, do what you got to do. Take us up, Bluetooth, all the things, okay? Yeah. Talking to the bottom of your phone, we'll Rosamoka. Yeah. You wrote us this. Hey, Rosamoka, fix my life. I'd love to have another kid with my wife, but she's happy with our family exactly as it is right now. I'm told between wanting a bigger family so my daughter can have a sibling and not wanting to resent my wife if we ultimately decide not to have another kid. How old's your kid now? 3 is going on 8. Okay. So you know that they're not going to be like best friends, right? Yeah, but she's going to help out a lot, isn't she? No, but why would you put that on her? I'm not putting it on her. I just think that she's into it because she has younger cousins and she loves to play with them and look after them and get into it. When she's like 15, 16, like in those prime sort of like teenage years, she's going to have a seven-year-old little sister, little sister, little brother at home.

8:16And you're what? You heard her like babysit all the time? Well, that's what the reason I want to have another kid to have a babysitter, but you know, we want to grow her. I want to grow her family, you know, and have someone else around, but my wife, she's just not into it at all. I mean, even the first kid she wasn't into, we've been together for the point of the year right? Maybe she can rinse it or have the first kid. And our life has been great every since she entered her life. She wrote so much blessings into her life. Okay. Your phone is terrible. Let me ask you this Sam. Prior to getting married to having kids, were these conversations that the two of you have, like these seem to be pretty important conversations to have if you're going to share a life together about kids where one person definitely wants kids. The other one doesn't. Like, was that discussed at all? We were going. We were 20 years old. We were just fell in love and we hit it off. We didn't stick that far ahead. It was just let's see how it goes. And it was a main thing and that's the reason why we didn't want to have the first kid

9:19to begin with because everything was so great. And then the first kid came and think that even better. So how old are you now? How old are you now? I'm 42. You're 42. And you want to start this all over again at 42? You want to be 53 with a 10 year old? When you put it that way. But no, but I'm just saying because like, but also getting another kid ready for college and like all this other stuff. It's a lot of life, right? Well, what else am I going to do, Ross? I don't know, dude. Spent time with your wife and your eight year old. Yeah. Like, do you spend so much time together? Here's the thing. Is that you're not going to win this? You're not going to win this war. And I would even advise you from you really just not pushing too hard because even the discussion about it, right? You know, you say that you're ultimately, you know, you don't want to wind up resenting, you know, your wife. If she doesn't want to have another kid, you get it. That's a pretty bold statement, too. That's a really bold statement. I think that you just got to, two people have to be 100% on board. And if two people aren't 100% on board, man, you got a great life.

10:21You got a great family. You got a great kid. You've been with the same woman for 20 years, right? Like that's a win, man. That's why I have a knocked it up, yeah, I guess. Yeah, but that's a big win, dude. Also, like, you know, in your wife's mind, she's the one that's going to have to go through the pregnancy. She's going to be the one that has to stay home from work. She has to do all the feedings, the diaper changes, all the overnight stuff. Like maybe she just doesn't want to go back to that part of life again. Yeah, that's exactly it. Maybe she just doesn't want to have another kid with you. That's true, too. I've asked her that. No, I haven't. But I just take your question to ask you that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. If life is good and you guys are enjoying time as a family, listen, man, maybe this is it. This is what's what's maybe like meant to be, you know, in your notice, you said so your daughter could have a sibling, which is one of the reasons why you may want another kid.

11:22There's no guarantee that as they get older that they're going to be the best of friends. There's no guarantee that they're going to get even closer. Like there are some siblings out there who absolutely despise each other and don't talk to one another. Yeah, like me and my brother. Yeah, exactly, dude. Boy, you're living proof in. What the hell? You don't know what you're going to do. I'm not saying that's not a reason to not have kids. Absolutely. No, no, no, no. It's not you have this thing in your head, man, where you know, you had this life, you know, this, this life planned out and sometimes life doesn't go the way you think it's going to go, dude. Like if you can't look at your wife and go, hey, you want another and if she does not go, yes, immediately, then it's not going to, it's not going to happen. If you're not 100 percent, both of you, if you're not 100 percent, it's not going to happen. And you guys both, you guys both have a single child too, right? Yeah, yeah. It's the best. Yeah. And the cat that looked at me and she went like this, everything is close for business. Forever. Like no, no more, no more. Yeah. Okay. And that's the, that's nothing against anyone that's got more than one kid, right?

12:25Like listen, everyone, do your thing and draw your life. It sounds like Sam, you and your wife and your daughter all have a wonderful life. Just celebrate that, man. Absolutely. Yeah. I think it, it, it, it, it, it, Catherine came to me because she's 10 years younger than I am. If she came to me and was like, I want another one, I would be like your wife. I'm like, I'm not doing that, right? Like, I love kids, I love kids and stuff. I'm all the older regions I had to cut you off is she's 42 as well. So she, she, you know, she said, she doesn't want to do that, right? Have a doctor look at her and tell her that she's got a geriatric pregnancy. No 42 year old woman wants to go through that. I just need a confirmation. You got it. You got it. You got a great woman. You got a great life. Just, just chill, dude. I appreciate you guys. That's, that's amazing, man. Guys, I just wanted to say happy 17th anniversary, you guys are amazing. I'm a little less than three, four years, you know, driving into work with 17th you guys every morning is fantastic. I'm buddy. Congratulations on that. And, and yeah, I might keep doing what you're doing and also I want it to share on

13:26them halfway through your book. Good great stuff, man. Really appreciate it. I really am listening to you right now. Thanks brother, I appreciate it. Love you, dog. Hey, real quick between Rosamoka, who's your favorite? I'm gonna be Rosman. Gotta be Ros. Right now. Oh, your phone is crystal clear for that part. Oh my gosh. All right, later Sam. All right guys, chill, bye. Rosamoka's fixed my life. What advice do you guys give me? Okay, so my question is, my question is. You got a problem you can't fix. Rosamoka got you. Tracy! Hi, how's it going? Amazing. It's your boyfriend's Rosamoka. Why are you on FML? How do I reset my team's body clock before school starts? Oh wow. You wrote it says, hey, Rosamoka fixed my life. I need help getting my 15 year old daughter who's been staying up late and sleeping in most of the summer as many teenagers do back into a routine and I'm looking for lunch ideas since she's not super fussy, but not the easiest eater either.

14:28I just had this conversation with my 16 year old kid. I'm a sit back and listen. So she looked at me yesterday and was like, that guess what time I woke up today? And I was like, what? She goes 10.30. Yeah. And I looked at her and I went, amazing. I was like, you got five days left. Stay up late, sleep in late. Do it. I don't care. It's not my business. School starts. She's going to have to get into a routine. I was telling her you got five days left, live it up. Stay up till two. Watch movies, sleep until 11. I don't care because when school starts, guess what? You're the one that suffers. Not me. You know what? That is actually so great. So you, I encourage it. So you encourage it. I encourage it. I encourage it. So you make them realize that the decision is counted. It's a count. Sorry, not the decision. The responsibility is all there. It's a count down, right? I get you're 16 or you're 15, right?

15:31And it's the last couple days of summer. The last thing your kid needs in the last couple of days of summer is their parent going. You got to get to bed early. You got school in five days. I know we're going to be on the same side. Oh, well, I love that. That is so good. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. You got a plan for the night. You got snacks right here. I'm going to the store. You need anything and then look at her and go because I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what Monday of Labor Day your world is going to get rocked. So live it up, live it up. And then the kid knows, right? The kid knows the kid knows. Also I think putting into perspective, hey, you are, wish you 15. You're 15 years old. Your parents shouldn't be waking you up anymore. Yeah. Like you have an alarm clock, you got a phone, your phone's got an alarm clock on it. You know what time you need to be at school or you know what time, like I don't know if you give a ride to school or not,

16:31but you know what time typically we leave the house as long as you are up and ready to go, we're good. And I don't know, I don't know what it's like where you are, but I know in certain parts of the country, they've implemented these things where attendance now and lateness is now a part of your grade. Oh shoot. Right? So that matters. I mean, Toronto. Yeah. I would say, I would say, put your, make your kid count the days down, right? And then that way they know, they know that all this is coming to an end, but I just tell you, tell your 15 year old to live it up. It's the last week of summer and just encourage her and just be very, very blunt that day after Labor Day, your world is going to get rocked, kid. So, so live it up now, right? But I don't want to hear anything, anything on day one. Nothing. I don't care, I don't care how long you stay up tonight. I don't care how long you sleep in tomorrow morning. It's your life, it's your summer, right? But man, if you complain once, once, it's over.

17:32It's over. I love that. I'm so gonna do it because I've always been like, okay, no, we gotta start going a bit earlier. No, no, no, no, no, day one of school is about suffering. Yeah. Right? Like, come on. Damn, bro. I love that. No, she doesn't need her mom telling her to go to bed early in the last week of summer. That's lame. No. Yeah, yeah, just be cool. Yeah, I mean yesterday she woke up at noon. Yeah. Holy. I mean, for me, that's gross. But, you know, but for, for, for a teeter. I remember, there was one day we were doing the show and Catherine wrote me and she was like, because my kid rose and sometimes she has to be there at like 5 a.m. And Catherine wrote me and she was like, did you take rocks to you to rowing this morning? And I was like, no. And like, we were just wrapping up the show here. And I was like, no. And she's like, I check the cams. And like, I don't know, like what time she left. And I was like, I have no idea. I didn't think she had rowing. And then at like, cord to 11, 10 to 11,

18:34rocks, it comes stumbling out of her room. Catherine. Catherine. Catherine was like, I'm literally messaging with your father right now because I thought you were missing. Like, no, I was getting some zips. So there you go, Tracy. You know, she's an adult. She, she needs to realize that. And in terms of lunch, I don't know, just go with, again, she's 15 years old. Maybe that's something that she needs to start working on herself, right? Like, hey, you know what you like? I go, well, we'll go to the grocery store and get stuff. She goes, well, if you made my lunch for me, I take it. And I was like, no, you make your lunch. But guess what? But guess what? If that's the answer, then whatever it is that you make, no matter what, she's got to take with her. And if she complains about it or she's like, hey, can I have something different? At that point, you can say, we're going to the grocery store. You're going to start picking out what it is you want for lunch. You are also going to prepare your own lunch. Exactly.

19:35I love that. I don't care if it's the morning of. I don't care if it's the night before, and you put it in the fridge for the next day. But you are responsible for that. And tell her to, and tell her to, if you give her food in a container like leftovers in a container, if she doesn't come home immediately after school and empty that container and put the container in the dishwasher, the next day she takes a school lunch in her pocket. And let her know and let her know it's soup. And let her know it's soup. And let her know it's soup. And let her know it's soup. There you go, Tracy, couple of options for you, okay? Oh, you guys are awesome. That's what we live it up next. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's amazing. All right, girl. Love you, Tracy. Thank you. Okay, love you guys. Have a great day. Raw's and mocus, fix my life on kiss. McDonald's is putting value back on the menu. Whether you're craving a big mac, McNuggets are sausage egg and cheese.

20:36McGrittles make it a meal and save. Your favorite is now your wallet's favorite too. Extra value meals are back. Get a big something extra. With a big mac or 10 piece McNuggets, fries and a medium coke, all for just $9. Limited time only, promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Raw's and mocus, fix my life. What advice do you guys give me? Okay, so my question is, my question is, got a problem you can't fix? Raw's and mocus, got you. Tommy. Hey, how's it going guys? Good man, it's Raw's and mocus. What's going on, YNFML today? Well, I need some help here. I just need to know, am I getting older or are people complaining a lot more nowadays? Tommy, you wrote us this. Hey, Raw's and mocus, fix my life. I need help. Lately, I've been losing patience when some of my friends complain about their lives, whether it's being unhappy at work, not having enough money or not traveling enough. When they go off on tangents about everything else that's wrong,

21:38I need advice on how to be more patient and better deal with people who complain or seem entitled. Is it because I'm getting older like Raw's? Oh, thanks. Or am I just losing my ability to handle quote, young people like mocus? Yo, why you gonna put that in quotes? Okay, so you're saying what? How old are you for? So what age demo are we talking about? I'm like mid to late 30. Mid to late 30. And the people that you're talking to that are like spitting off these complaints at you at the same age. Roughly or funnier. And what are they specifically like, what are they complaining about? Are they sort of like everybody else and suffering financially and can't find work and they're complaining about that? Or are these people who have it all together make a decent income, have a savings account and are still complaining? Yeah, they have their things together. I mean, like, you know, we're all passionate all of this. I mean, we have our lives together, right? But like, we're all doing pretty well, have savings and such, right? But the thing is like, next thing you know, every single time I catch up with them

22:40and say, hey, how's everything? And then, you know, enough money to spend and, and you know, wanted to go travel, but they're not even taking actions to do about it. And I'm just like, okay, well, why don't you start, you know, doing some YouTube or Google whatsoever and just trying to find out, you know, different things to do? I think that just comes with growing up, man. Like as people go through life and, you know, the quote unquote real world, you just, there are things that bother you and things that you want to do with your life and maybe you just can't afford it at the time, right? Sure, but I mean, that's what planning is about, right? I guess. So I think what happens to me, and it happens with men and women too, which is, which is there are some people who bond over like commissaration of negativity, meaning that when they get together and you say to somebody, hey, man, how's it going? It's, they start saying, oh, well, you know, this sucks and this sucks and this sucks. And then somebody else goes, oh, yeah,

23:42well, this sucks and this sucks because the only way that they can sort of feel better about themselves is from listening to how worse off other people are, especially their friends, right? That's not funny. And, and you get in these sort of circular conversations of where you're all just complaining. It's like guys, you know, and women do it too, again, women do it too, but it's like guys, when you talk to a guy and you're like, hey, man, how's it going? And they try and bond with you by talking about their wives, you know what I mean? Like, oh, my God, my wife was like all over my back. I gotta do all this stuff. And they try and bond with you like that because maybe they don't have a great relationship, but what they want at a U is they want commissaration, they want you to then say, oh, yeah, my wife too. And I never do that, right? I never, I just want to feel alone. I guess. But I never engage in that. Like, and even like you feel in the moment, like obligated to just dig up something that is like there, that's not even really true in it to just throw it into the conversation,

24:42to just make the guy feel better, right? That's not alone, right? Like, I think Tommy, with your friends, the ones that are saying, like, oh, I can't afford to go on vacation, you know, they're maybe looking to you and the rest of your friends, be like, oh, my God, yeah, life sucks right now. I can't go on vacation as well. Maybe they're just saying those things so that they don't feel alone in that situation. I hate my job. And then Tommy's like, oh, my God, yeah, me too. My boss is so hard. But they try and drag you down to lift themselves up, right? Like, it's a weird thing that people do where they'll say something negative to engage you in that. And then as soon as you say something that's bad that's going on in your life, they're going to jump all over it to actually make you feel worse, right? And then it makes them feel better by the end of it, right? It's this weird thing. And I would just say don't engage. And I know it's very difficult to try and have positive conversations with people because throwing negative stuff out into the world

25:43is way easier than throwing positive stuff out in the world. Tommy, is there a way where you could like flip it? So if someone's complaining about their work, and you reply, it could be like, yeah, man, that sucks. But there's got to be like something good that happens at work. Why don't you tell me about that? I try to, but then the easiest way to get a conversation going is it's all the negativity. And I'm just like, you know, I don't want to be the inventing bag. And all I hear is just about negativity because I mean, if I had to go on it, I can go on forever about it too, right? But then I personally don't want to get to that. And then and how I react to it is like, I literally go like, all right, dude, like, this is way too much for me. I really can't deal with it. I do the very direct approach. I'm very blunt about it. Oh, good. Good for you. One thing you, one thing you can't say, and we say this with, to people all the time, and if you have great relationships with your friends, you can actually say this to them, which is, I love you, man. I love hanging out with you. But what I find lately is after we hang out

26:43and I go home, I feel terrible about myself and about the interaction and I don't feel good. And I don't want to not feel good after we hang out, right? Like I want to, I want to like leave their going, God, man, that was a great night. You know, had some great chat, you know, goofing around, everything else. Like that's how I want to feel after we hang out that I had a good time. But lately when we hang out, I actually feel that I don't want to do it again because you're a drag. And I feel that you drag me down. And because we're friends, I don't want to leave you down there alone. So I wind up picking apart my own life. And that's not healthy for me. No, that'll work. I think that'll work honestly. I mean, like if they, if they can take it well, I hope they reflect on that and concern next time. And then just go, I don't know what's going on with you losers, but I'm going on vacation next week. Yeah, life is good. Yeah. That's kind of weird coming from Ross, man. And I thought he was a downer sometimes. Oh, don't get me wrong, bro. I'm a huge downer. Right? I'm a huge downer.

27:44But what I don't do is I don't drag other people down with me. Yeah. I like being alone on the bottom. That's true. That's not true. I mean, like you know, you're a good book as well. And I know how that works. Sorry. Tommy interrupted. I was about to say that's what she said. My guy Tommy, your life has been fixed. Thank you so much for joining us today, bro. Awesome. Thanks guys. Thanks for listening to the Ross and Mokasho podcast. Catch the guys live weekday morning from 6 to 10 on kiss 92 by kiss 92 5.com or download the seeker app. Meet the Red Bull Dragonberry Emergized. It's one of the many new drinks out now. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire? Try them all only at McDonald's. McDonald's is putting value back on the menu. Whether you're craving a big Mac, McNuggets, or sausage egg, and cheese, McGrittle's, make it a meal and save. Your favorite is now your wallet's favorite, too.

28:47Extra value meals are back. You get a big something extra. With a big Mac or 10-piece McNuggets, fries, and a medium Coke, all for just $9. Limited time only, promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing.