13 Adar - Deos 6

0:00El Chais de Ice Chapter 6 First Halacha A person is naturally influenced in terms of both his character and his actions by the people around him, including his friends and people who live within his community. Therefore, one should endeavor to surround himself with good people, people of good moral character, and people who are wise so that he could be influenced by their good deeds. And he should try to distance himself from Rishayim that is from people who do not keep tiremances, who walk in darkness, so that he will not be influenced by their actions. Similarly, if a person lives in a place where people's actions tend to be not good, where people do not walk in the straight path, he should go to a different place, where the people are Tadikim, where they're good people, who walk a proper path. And if all of the places with which a person is familiar are full of people who do not walk the proper path, and Rambam adds like in our time, or if he is unable to move to a place where people walk the proper path, or whatever reason, then it is best for one to simply remain in seclusion. And if the people there do not allow a person to simply remain alone, like they require him to

1:00mingle with them and adopt their ways, so he should go out to live in the caves, or in the wilderness, and not follow the paths of the sinners. By the way, even in the modern day, this is a pretty attractive option. Maybe when I'm done with this podcast, I'll go to a cabinet in the woods somewhere and just chill out there. Second halacha, there is a positive commandment to cleave to Khatamim and to their disciples. The tyra tells us to cleave to God, but that's physically impossible. Therefore, what that concept means is to cleave to his followers, that is to Torah scholars. Therefore, one should marry the daughter of a Ta'amim Khacham, and make sure that his own daughters marry Ta'amim Khachamim, one should eat and drink with Ta'amim Khachamim, and do business with Ta'amim Khachamim. That is to say, he should try to keep company with them to the extent possible. Third halacha, there is a positive commandment to love every Jew as one self. Therefore, one should speak the praises of his fellow Jews. He should be concerned about their money, just like he's concerned about his own financial situation. And anyone who seeks to honor himself by putting down his colleague does not have a share in the world to come. Fourth halacha, when one shows love to a

2:00convert, he fulfills two positive commandments. The first one is loving a Jew as one self, and the second is a specific commandment to love a convert. The similar idea, the tyra tells us that God himself loves converts, and of course we are told to love God. The medrish explains that this means it is as if God is saying, you should love converts because I love converts. Fifth halacha, whoever hates a fellow Jew violates a negative prohibition. Though this prohibition does not involve the punishment of Mauchus, because hatred does not involve a deed. This also means that there's no action associated with hating a fellow. Therefore, beating somebody or insulting him does not technically violate this prohibition, though it likely violates others. Six halacha, when one person rungs the other, the agrived party should not remain silent and stew in anger. On one hand, he has emits what to rebuke his fellow, and ask, why did you do this to me? On the other hand, when the wrongdoer asks for forgiveness, the agrived party should forgive. Seventh halacha, when one sees his fellow acting in a way that is improper, he should aid him in returning to the proper path. But when rebuking a fellow, one should do so privately, and he should speak with kindness,

3:03making it clear that he is only looking out for his fellow's welfare, and to aid him in coming to the world to come. If the wrongdoer changes his ways, excellent, but if not the rebuke should continue a second and third time. Indeed, the rebuke should continue until the wrongdoer either changes his ways, or he strikes the rebuke and says, I will not listen. Eighth halacha, one offering rebuke should in the first instance make sure he does not embarrass his fellow, and he should not speak sternly or harshly, because causing embarrassment is a great sin. As our sages have said, one who embarrasses his fellow and public has no place in the world to come. This also means that one should never call someone a name that embarrasses him. You're talk about things in front of him that will bring him embarrassment, but when the wrongdoer's actions have to do with the glory of heaven, meaning when it's a mitzvah between him and God, if the wrongdoer does not repent initially, he may be shamed in public until he repents. Ninth halacha, if one is wronged by a fellow and does not wish to rebuke him, because perhaps his fellow is burish, or he is mentally unwell, then as long as the aggrieved party forgives the wrongdoer completely within his own heart, this is not only acceptable, but it is particularly pious, because what the tire is principally concerned with is so

4:07in caring around feelings of hatred. One must show concern for orphans and for widows, even if they are wealthy, even the widow of a king. Practically this means that one should speak with them gently and accord them honor, one should not force them into harsh labor or grieve them with harsh words, and one should be more concerned with their financial well-being than with one's own, one who causes pain, physical or emotional to a widow or an orphan violates a negative prohibition, and Rambam states that one should be particularly concerned with this because when they cry out, God listens. That said, someone teaching an orphan Tyra or teaching him a craft will pretty naturally cause the orphan to suffer, and that's okay because it's important to learn, but regardless, one still should accord them great honor. And for the purpose of this halacha, someone is considered an orphan until he no longer needs the support of an adult.