you’re doing better than you think

0:00Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to or welcome back to a little where he told you I'm your host Kristen Knight. And in this episode I really just want us to all take a moment to appreciate our growth and how far we've actually come on this journey because I think some of us are standing here and you might be standing here right now contemplating your next move in life, maybe contemplating where you're going or what to do. You might be looking at the entire staircase in front of you when you should just be looking at that first step. And it's really easy to find ourselves looking in a perspective so far out that we're absorbing and consuming all of this anticipation to move forward and wondering what do I do to get here. This is where I want to go but I don't know the next steps. I don't know what I need to do and you start to criticize yourself. We start to self-sabotage certain things and you make yourself feel like maybe you're not as far along as you want to be or you're a failure or you're not that successful like the things that you're doing.

1:08But what we're not thinking about when we're standing there in front of that staircase is that right now you're standing in a place that a version of you in the past once looked at you. I guarantee you there's a version of yourself that existed at one point in your life that would be standing there looking at you and complete all as if how did you get here. I never would have thought you'd be standing here right now. I never would have thought you would have accomplished these things and to you they might not seem like drastic changes or huge differences. But to that version of yourself you were becoming something that inspired them that inspires them. They thought that maybe they would never be looking at the entire staircase that you're looking at right now. They would have never even thought that they would be in the same room as that staircase. But you you are. And that first step is a version of yourself that existed at one time in your life that aspired to be exactly where you are standing right now.

2:15And you need to take a moment to acknowledge that. Take a moment to appreciate your growth. Instead of looking so far ahead and say, oh, I'm not here. I'm not where I want to be. I haven't done x, y and z. And these are all the things that I so need to accomplish in my life. And everyone else has this and everyone else is doing this stop because this is always going to be a battle against yourself. The only thing that you should be comparing yourself to is the version of yourself that existed in the past. You're comparing yourself to yourself because this is a journey with just you. I don't care what anyone else around you has or what they're going through when it comes to certain things. As if they might have things that you feel like you don't have and that's not obtainable. But that's not when we should be focused on what we should be focused on as appreciating ourselves and appreciating the growth that we've undergone. Because when you take a moment to really have that realization and you realize, wow, I actually am handling situations better than I ever did before. Or I heal or I'm in the process of healing and the things that I've gone through in my life, I made it out.

3:18There's things that I went through that I would have never thought that I would have made it out of. I thought I would have just stayed there stagnant or I would have never thought I would have healed from that. One day I woke up and I didn't even acknowledge the fact that I healed. I just woke up and I forgot about it, became a different person. I kept moving on with my life but did you know you healed from that? Take a moment to actually appreciate that. You healed from that. You became a better person because of that. You kept going. You're still standing here right now. You should appreciate that because you might be saying, well, what do I have to appreciate? What do I have to appreciate, Chris? And I'm looking around and maybe there's some things that I feel like are still the same or I'm still battling the same issues. I'm still going through some of the same things but you're still here and that's something. You're still progressing and moving forward and you're still waking up each day and moving forward in your life. And you should appreciate that. Maybe you're not where you want to be yet. Maybe you're not. But in the right timing things will unfold and you have to just keep moving forward. And I think you have to just actually acknowledge that you're still here. You're still standing. You made it through all that.

4:19The things that literally were sent to destroy you, destroy you as a person, you, you made it out stronger. You became more resilient. You become a better version of yourself and you didn't even realize it because you were so caught up on what's next. And sometimes, yeah, it might not always feel that way. Sometimes you might be sitting there and like, I don't even feel like I'm a better version of myself. I feel like it's a rollercoaster of emotions every day. And sometimes it feels like you're not growing because maybe you're just raising the bar higher and you didn't even realize that maybe you already reached it. You exceeded it and you just kept raising it because you were getting so close to it and you didn't even know that. You just don't really take a moment to look around. So look around right now. Look at the life that you have. Look at the things that you once prayed for. The things that you once begged for. Hope for it didn't even think that we're possible for you. Take a moment to appreciate the growth that you've actually accomplished in your life. Have a moment of gratitude. Stop with the comparison. Stop with comparison as the thief of joy. I will tell you that is a sign of.

5:26Stop. Stop looking around and saying, oh, I don't have this. I want this. I want this. I want that. I want this relationship. I want this, this item. I want this. I want to be in this part of my life. Stop. Look at where you're standing right now. And I will tell you this moment will not last forever. You will not be in the same position. Nothing lasts forever. Everything is temporary. There might be even a version of you in the future that looks back and says, I wish I would have just appreciated that moment a little bit longer. Maybe it wasn't the greatest. But it was a version of me that existed that I didn't really realize the power and the. The amount of gratitude that I should have had in that moment. Because I think really we're so quick to think about what's next that we forget to acknowledge what's already happened. We're always thinking about the next move, the next school, the next chapter, the next version of ourselves, the next thing that we want to get involved in. But you don't really focus on today. And today, I don't want you to worry about what you're becoming. I want you to appreciate who you already are in this moment.

6:29Who you've become. Who you've gone through. Sit with that for a minute. Sit with that and actually say, wow. I really, I really did do these things. It might not even have to be a lot. It could be something simple, a simple goal that you set for yourself or something that you didn't even realize or take a moment to appreciate. There could be something you have right now, something you experienced, people that you've met. Places that you've been. Things that you decided to do. Even something about your personality that you you changed for the better and you didn't even realize it. Be grateful for that. Because you should be proud of yourself. I'll be your little ego booster today. Be proud of yourself. Take a moment to be proud of yourself because you really should be. You really should be proud of who you've become. Sometimes you don't even realize and other people don't even realize that you fought battles that not a lot of people saw. You carried this weight and the silence and you still kept going.

7:32And if that's you today, you should be really proud of yourself that you were still going and you keep going. And you still kept showing up even when you didn't want to. Even when it felt like you couldn't show up. Because sometimes you had to walk around with tears in your eyes and a heavy heart and you still kept going. No matter what because you knew you needed to show up for yourself. And right there, that's something you should be proud of. Because some of us went through that and we didn't even realize that we were doing that because we had no other choice. And now we've just become immune to it. We're not even reflecting on that saying, oh, yeah, I should be proud of myself because we had to become this version of ourselves. You kept moving even when it felt like all the odds were against you. When it felt like you weren't going to make it through. When you felt like you had nothing left to give because you poured so much into everyone else's cup and you had nothing left for yourself. You still kept going. There are tears that you held back. There are moments that maybe other people didn't even know that you were going through because you hid it that well.

8:34There are things that you had to process quietly because you didn't want to cause commotion. You didn't want to cause a scene. There are nights that you had to choose yourself even when it would have been a lot easier to go back to what was familiar. There's moments that you chose to be uncomfortable because you wanted to grow. You chose to remove people from your life. You chose to sit in the silence. You chose to do the work. And those are the moments that we should look back on and be very proud of. Because it's not easy. It's not easy to grow. It's not easy to face ourselves. And you kept going. Take a moment to appreciate that you healed after that heartbreak. And maybe you didn't even realize that. That even if you're still hurting right now, even if you're still healing, taking it one day at a time, you're moving forward. You're still going. You're facing fears. You're putting yourself out of your comfort zone.

9:34Maybe you're learning new things that you would have never thought you would have learned. Maybe life does really look completely different than you thought it would. And maybe you don't have everything figured out yet. I'm not here to say, oh yeah, you have everything figured out. Look back and say, oh yeah, look at all the things that have come. That's not what I'm trying to say. I'm just saying to be grateful for the things that you have gone through and the fact that you're still here. And you're still moving forward. You're still putting effort on. Because it doesn't mean because you don't have everything figured out yet that you're not behind. You're not behind. It means that you're human. It means you're in the process of becoming. This is about the journey, not the destination. We're always so fixated on the destination. We have to be here. We have to have these things before we're considered successful, happy. That's not what it's about. And there's something that's really beautiful about realizing that you don't need to have the whole staircase figured out to be proud of the step that you're actually standing on right now in this current moment. You don't need to know exactly where you're going to appreciate how far you've already come.

10:39So please, give yourself some credit. Be proud of yourself for a moment. For the moments that you handle differently, for the times that you reacted in a different way that your past self wouldn't have. Be proud of the boundaries that you're setting for yourself. For the things that you walked away from, the things that you don't tolerate anymore for the self respect that you've accumulated. Be proud of the version of yourself that you fought so hard to become that other people might not even realize. Be proud of yourself for maybe choosing peace. For choosing yourself even when you had to abandon yourself for other people continuing to believe in yourself in the life that you wanted, even in the moments that you didn't know what was coming next. For trying, even when you didn't know what was going to happen, you were stuck in the unknown but you still kept going. Maybe even now, you don't know what's next. You're telling yourself I have to keep going because I owe this to myself.

11:41I owe this to myself to see what happens next. I owe it to myself to put effort into this situation. Be proud of yourself today. Not because everything's perfect or not because you know what's going to happen or you think you've had everything figured out because you're here right now. Be proud that maybe you still have a heart even after all the experiences that you had that could have turned you cold. Be proud because there's a version of you who desperately wanted to make it here right now who wanted to be in your position even if you don't realize it. Appreciate this moment. Let yourself have this moment in this realization. Let yourself be proud. Look around. Understand that you're living things that you once thought you wouldn't survive. And many of us are going through all kinds of different situations. This isn't something that can fit everybody.

12:41And I understand some people might not really necessarily be in a moment where they're proud of themselves. Maybe they know there's things that they need to work on. But be proud of the growth and the effort that you're making to work on these things. Appreciate that you have the ability to actually work on these things for yourself. Because many of us don't think about that that we have the choice. We don't have to stay in the same position forever. We don't have to stay on the same step. We can change our actions. We can become somebody completely different. A lot can change and you can enforce a lot of that change into your life. Because right now you might be coming somebody that you once needed. And maybe today it doesn't feel like a huge milestone. Maybe you're not at the place that you want to be at. Or maybe you are. Maybe there is some things that you're really proud of yourself. You're looking around and maybe you're at a point in your life where other people would perceive you as this person has done a lot.

13:43But you're looking around and you don't think it's enough and you don't feel that you're enough. And you feel like there's more that you could do. And let me tell you to just be grateful for what you have right now. Because like I said, there's a version of you that exists before this that would have never thought you would have become what you are right now. Maybe who would have never thought you'd be walking in the rooms that you're meant to walk in. Or standing at that doorway waiting to walk in or experiencing the things that you're experiencing. Some of us don't realize how much of a blessing that truly is. Because maybe yeah, it's just another day. It's just another ordinary day. But sometimes I think the most important growth that happens in our lives happens quietly. We don't really realize we're growing because we're so focused on moving forward. Or just the things that are happening every day life. And one day we walk around and we're looking around and we wake up and we're thinking to ourselves, you know, life doesn't really look the same. Doesn't look like how it did six months to a year ago or two years ago.

14:46Things look drastically different. The way that I think is a lot different or the people in my life are not the same. And the environments that I'm in or the piece that I have in myself or the things that I'm choosing to pursue, everything is changing and everything is different. And we don't really realize that all the time. Just kind of wake up and it's our new reality. And I think one day you're going to look back at this version of yourself, even, and realize, maybe I was doing a lot better than I give myself credit for. Maybe you'll look back and you'll see those moments that you were struggling and no one noticed and say, wow, I had to be a really resilient individual to go through some of those things. I had a lot of strength and I don't give myself credit for that strength. So be proud of yourself. Give yourself some credit right now because you're still here. You're still growing. You're still improving. And that's a beautiful thing. That's a beautiful thing because you're still becoming. You're becoming somebody and you have a choice to decide who you become after this moment.

15:50You don't have to look at the whole staircase and overwhelm yourself. Just look at the step in front of you. Focus on what's going on right now. What you can do with your life right now. You have no idea what path you're going to take or the things that are going to happen. And let me be for real. Let me be honest with you here. Sometimes I think there's a lot of unexpected turns in our lives. And sometimes when those turns happen, we don't always understand why. We don't understand why they're happening. And maybe we even have a little bit of a resentment towards it. As if why does this have to happen to me? Why? I rejected from this. But sometimes I really do believe. Redirection and rejection is protection. Maybe what you thought you wanted. Isn't actually what was going to make you happy? Maybe you deserved more. Maybe you were going to be settling if you stayed in that environment. And sometimes things happen. Sometimes things are going to shift. And that's why I say to focus on the step in front of you. Because if you focus on the whole staircase, not only are you overwhelming yourself.

16:54And thinking way too far ahead into something that you really don't even know, exactly what's going to happen. You could end up taking another staircase. It could lead to another place. A lot better than you could have imagined. So my advice is just focus on the present. Focus on what you can control right now. Because you're still becoming. Focus on the journey. Enjoy the journey. Because one day you might look back and say, wow, I did the things that I wanted to do. And that's it. What's next? What's next? I did the majority of what I wanted to accomplish. Sure, I invested in these things. But I still don't have the same satisfaction that I thought. That I would achieve by getting these things. So be present and enjoy what's right in front of you. Because I think that's something to be proud of.