Why Healing My Internal World Changed Every Relationship in My External World — The Spiritual and Personal Growth That Showed Me How to Outgrow Old Patterns and Live a Life Full of Purpose and Passion

0:00If you felt lonely, isolated, disconnected, with an empty feeling sign at just yearning for more, knowing something is missing, then this podcast is for you. So here's your host, Joe Mitiga. Hello and welcome to Wee. For most of my life, I thought my relationships were about the other people in my life. I thought if someone hurt me, that they were the problem. If someone disappointed me, of course, they needed to change. And if a relationship wasn't working, I always looked outside myself for the reason why. What I didn't understand was how much of my internal world I was truly bringing into

1:04every relationship I had. My fears, my insecurities, my need for approval, my expectations, my need to control. The wounds from my past that I hadn't completely healed, I didn't realize that I was just having relationships with people standing in front of me, I wasn't really having a relationship with the people in front of me. Because you know what? In many ways, I was having a relationship with these people through everything that happened to me way before they ever came into my life. And as I began healing emotionally, growing spiritually, something happened that I never expected. Amazingly, my relationships started changing because I was changing.

2:04Some relationships became deeper. All of them became healthier. And of course, some had to have some new boundaries. And unfortunately, a lot of them, a lot of my old relationships, I simply outgrew them all together. That was difficult for me because I had spent so much of my life believing that personal growth meant learning how to hold everything together. But maybe growth isn't always about holding on. Sometimes growth means recognizing that the person I'm becoming can no longer live through the same fears, behaviors, expectations, and relationship patterns that once defined my life. And I began asking myself a very different question. What if the relationships in my external world are reflecting what's happening in my internal

3:11world? Because as I learned to love myself differently, I started loving other people differently. As I learned to forgive myself, forgiveness became different. As I began living with less fear of losing people, I stopped trying so hard to control relationships. And of course, as I learned to trust my higher power, I slowly stopped asking other people to provide the security, validation, and sense of worth that I needed to discover within myself. Maybe that's part of becoming the person we were born to be. We don't simply change our thoughts. We don't simply change our habits. We change the way we show up in relationships in our lives.

4:12And sometimes, without even realizing it, our external world begins changing because our internal world has finally begun to heal. My name is Joe Middiga, and this is we. Welcome everybody, and welcome from around the world that is an exciting night here in Atlanta, Georgia, and I'm thrilled to be here with you and sharing my experience, strength, and hope. You know, I say to people all the time, and people have asked me, Joe, what do you attribute the success of the we podcast to? And I say, you know what? Honestly, it's not me. It's the message. And why is it with the message? Because all of you that are listening are connecting to the same message. And why is that? Because we're all the same. Literally, there's no difference. And the same is in that sense of created in God's image, and I've told this story in numerous

5:17times, when I first heard that, I said, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And this God's image concept, I looked around the room, and my best friend was a black guy and my girlfriend at the time was this tiny little female from Connecticut, and I was a white guy, two 20 and 220 pounds, pretty big guy. And I said, you know, we don't look anything alike at all, zero, nothing. I said, how could that be created in God's image? It took me 10 years, at least. And I say, you know, I poke fun at myself. I was just a slow learner, but one day it hit me. The God's image concept? It's not the physical sense of self. It's the spiritual sense of self. It's the spiritual us that is the same. And if you've never heard this before, folks, you know, I'm here to tell you, you are a spiritual being, having a human experience, not the other way around. You're human, sure you are, but you're a spirit, having a human experience.

6:20And your humanity, quite honestly, is the most dense part of your expression because your spirituality, your sense of spirit is eternal. And it's hooked to eternity. You're part of the infinite us, the infinite I. And that's why, quite honestly, I'm practiced. And the only thing different with me, I will say this truthfully, the one thing that is different for me is I started a conscious path in 1990, February the 16th, 1990. And I had conscious thoughts before that. So literally, a lot of you were in grade school when I started a conscious path. So all these years later, and you know, I like sharing my stories because I think it gives a feel for the whole idea. Years later, I have to say I'm pretty practiced at the listening to a power greater than myself and then sharing it on podcasts like this and books that have been channeled and keynote speeches that I present.

7:21And that is my gift. That's a passion I have. It's something that I give back into the world. And all of you are my friends. I can promise you, if you saw me and we hung out a little bit, we could go to dinner, we could go to lunch, we could have coffee. You'd invite me to Thanksgiving dinner and I'd invite you because we're all the same. We truly are. And that's why I believe basically I'm just creating a group, a community of connected, consciously connected people. And we're all the same. We would all be friends. Any one of you that met each other from anywhere around the globe, we'd be friends. And this is, you know, I want to welcome people from around the globe. It's so humbling from me. It's just this. It's humbling for me. And a brand new group that was here for a while and then, you know, now is just exploding is in Germany. Welcome everybody from Germany, Norway, United Kingdom, Canada, Kenya, Malaysia, South

8:22Korea, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, welcome, France, Sweden, welcome. And the list goes on and on. And as the we podcast expands around the globe, it continues to validate for me, Joe, what a part of me learned very profoundly back in September of 2022. And I'm going to share that story in more detail today. That humanity's waking up. It just is. And it doesn't matter where you live. It doesn't matter the color of your skin. It doesn't matter male, female. It doesn't matter your sexual orientation. None of that matters. If you're a human being, you are waking up. And what you're waking up to is the feminine side of yourself. It is. And what does that mean? It's not a gender specific concept, the feminine side of self. We as human beings have a male side and a female side. The male side is kind of broken up into the mental part of you and the physical part of

9:27you. You know what that means? Do math in your head. That's your mental. You know what it means? Pick up your fork. That's your physical. Well, the other side of you, the additional side of you, the part of you that's waking up more and more. Is the feminine side, which is where your spiritual communion lives and your emotional sense of self resides. So mental, physical, male side, spiritual, emotional, female side. And consciousness as a humanity, the energetic vibration of consciousness as a humanity is rising vibration. It just is. And for millennia, literally thousands of years society has been dominated by the male side of self, the mind and the physical. And that's why the new thought movement of the 40s and the changing your mind and the positive affirmation movement that was such a powerful new concept 40 years ago.

10:32It really changed lives. It brought a whole different level of awareness. And you know, an earlier podcast, I used to get pretty big about the concept. And I got big about it because for Joe, when I first heard it and then it didn't work because I wanted my ugly voices to just stop. And it was presented as if all you have to do is change your mind and the ugly voices would stop. That's how it was presented to me. Then when it didn't work, I would shame myself. I would make myself even more wrong. I would add to the already toxic voices. And that's why I have a passion about that concept. But the best way for me to describe meditation is that a beautiful thing? Sure, it calms you in the moment. It does. It makes your crazy voice to slow down a little bit. Sure, it does. Does it remove them? No, period. It doesn't. And how do I know that for a literal absolute? Because even the most powerful meditators on the planet say you have to do it every day.

11:36Literally. Well, if it was healing anything, why did you have to do it after the first day? Well, because it isn't designed to heal. The same with the positive affirmation concept. It doesn't. Because if you're always having to change your mind, then that means the reason your mind needs to be changed in the first place, it has a different source. And that's the inner child. That's the inner sense of self. And that's what the we podcast is all about. Healing the emotional sense of self. And as that happens, validate and honor the human transformation, the spiritual awakening that's happening literally around the globe. And I've got some really powerful stories today. I'm going to share on that concept. And I'm going to kind of take you through my path and make some pretty powerful announcements on this show here today a little bit later. But you know, I want to explain like what is emotional growth and why do we need to do

12:40it? What is the spiritual awakening thing and why doesn't matter? Like what is the benefit? Like what's in it for me? You know, if you're in sales or if you're in a relationship or whatever, any interaction with anybody. There's always the question of what's in it for me. And though what's in it for me when it comes to emotional growth, what's in it for you? Why do you want to do it? Because your life will be better. It will be. The challenge is the angst, the struggles, the fears, the concerns, the loneliness, the need for control, the fear of abandonment, the fear of neglect, all of the fears that you live in in a little way or a big way can be healed. They can be by embracing the emotional sense of self, giving a voice to your darker parts of self. I'm going to talk about that in this podcast. And then what's the benefit? Well, the benefit is the more you heal the deeper parts of yourself, then the reason

13:44you have the voices in your head, the unfavorable voices in your head, the I can't do it I can't breathe, I'm too fat, I'm too skinny, I'm too ugly, I'm too old, I'm the wrong color, I'm a woman, all of those bantering voices, all of them are because of an emotional wound in your heart. They just are. And as you reach the emotional wound of your heart, you give a voice to that part, you remote the pain, mad glad sadder scared, after the emotion is recited and the healing happens, the voice associated with the wound no longer exists, literally gone, no more having to change the unloving voice, it no longer exists. So I ask yourself the simplest of questions, anybody that's been on a conscious path. And what is a conscious path, by the way? A conscious path is a human being that understands they can hear, identify and make sense of their

14:52own thoughts. You can hear your own thoughts, you're aware of yourself. And that awakening is really the first sense of the multi-dimensional you, the part that's hearing the voices and the voices themselves. And that's, you know, we're all multi-dimensional beings we are. Now does that mean that everybody can hear their thoughts? No. In fact, the masses don't. You know who I'm talking about. Half your family at dinner. Half your buddies at the ball game. A lot of people at church, a lot of people at work. Is that make them wrong? No folks, I'm not judging anybody ever, never. Now do I get angry sometimes? Yeah. The last podcast I did, you know, is very last one. How's that? I was. And I'm going to talk about that here a little bit because living small is not living as part

15:56of the generation of change. And I want to empower people to live as the generation of change. And the whole idea of conscious awakening and why are some people awake and some people aren't? I don't know. There's some of those spiritual questions. That's where I kind of coined the term there's a godness not Joe. I don't have that answer. I don't know why you're on an awakened path and maybe your partner's not or you're on an awakened path and your family members aren't. I don't have that answer. I don't. I can speak to the differences. I can honor all people. There's one god and one monolithic god and that monolithic god is in all of us. And I'm going to talk about that in detail how I know that for a fact. Why are some people waking up and others aren't? I don't have that answer. But I do know more and more people are waking up faster at a rate than ever before.

16:57I talk about human transformation of consciousness 200 years ago, perfectly fine to own a human. I told a story a couple of weeks ago about a man around the 1800s that literally used his wife as a prostitute to make money in a normal little residential neighborhood in a German community. Think about how close down he had to be. But even more, think about how close down the entire community had to be. They saw random men walking in this house all day every day. No one asked, no one cared, no one thought about it. The answer is yes, no one asked, no one cared, no one thought about it. Why? Because consciousness of the day was so close down. Well, it's not like that anymore. And I can promise you, if you're on my podcast and you keep coming back to my podcast, you are an absolute spiritual warrior. You are uniquely different than most people you know. And if you've got a group of people that are able to be on the podcast and thank you

17:58for inviting people, it's why the podcast is exploding around the world. People are telling people. And because as a community of us are getting together, it doesn't make us better or worse, you know, more or less. None of that nonsense. It's about honoring everybody where they are. And my very first idea, the conscious idea about the We Podcast is I wanted to honor the 67% of people that some random poll took that consider themselves more spiritual than religious. That's an empowering event. It's not a shaming event for religious people. Some of the most powerful, loving, most kind people I've ever known, including my business partner, including one of my closest friends, including Father Kim, my Catholic priest, who literally saved my life, literally emotionally saved my life, my aunt who just passed, these

19:00are the most connected, loving, God-based people I've ever known and still do. But they're approaches different than mine. That's it. And if you're on a podcast like this, your approach is probably a little different than theirs too. Not good, not bad, all the same. And I want to honor everybody. Everybody is welcomed here because the true essence of this podcast isn't really the teaching of a grander communion or a grander you. It's more teaching how you heal the reason you're not consciously connected to the grander you on a day-to-day basis. Already. And why is that? If it's in us, Joe, why doesn't it always work? Why don't I know? Well, the answer is, is because there's so much suppressed emotion because we were raised in an environment where consciously and emotionally we were not supported as kids.

20:01We weren't. That's why this generation, us, you, me, the people on this podcast, were the ones changing and we're giving back to our kids in a way that wasn't given to us. And I see it over and over and over that our parents do the best they could. Of course they did. And it doesn't mean we weren't harmed in the meantime. We were. We're emotionally neglected. A lot of times physically abandoned. Sometimes sexually abused. Sometimes emotionally abused. But for the masses, the sexual abuse, emotional abuse, that wasn't mass harm. It wasn't. A pandemic neglect was the fact I've never met anybody that wasn't. That's just because the consciousness of the parents was projected onto the kids. Well, it's all changing now. And that's why the WePodcast is exploding. You know, my ultimate goal is to help a hundred million people to heal the depths of themselves.

21:08Can I believe with the click of a button that it's happening? I can tell you, being on the global charts, I haven't seen my numbers lately, but my gas is, the WePodcast is up to three or four hundred thousand downloads a month. My goal is a hundred million. Why? Because I believe as we create a global community of consciously aware people that are healing the depths of themselves. So you're becoming emotionally connected and spiritually connected to your heart. Not just spiritually connected to the concept of a higher power, but being guided through it with that communion of a power greater than yourself, but being guided through your heart. That's a very different thing. And that was the experience I had for the first time ever, September 22, 2022. That's why that story is such a big story, which I'm going to share that in detail today. I came across a woman that's exactly where she lives.

22:12I've never met this woman, but the impact she had on my life has been tremendous. And I say to people all the time, people are watching you. They are. I was watching this woman. I didn't even know who she was. And because she was living her truth in a way that I'd never experienced before, it really helped me. It really, really did. It expanded me tremendously. And you're doing that with people now. I've got another story to tell about that. The reasons why, why do we want to heal? Why do we want to grow? What is the why? What's in it for us? Well, the truth is, what's truly in it for you is a glorious life. There's a life of bliss. There's a life of abundance. There's a life of oneness. There's a life of okeness. As you might be struggling at work. As you have to pay for your college kids, in addition to challenges at home, in addition

23:14to work you don't like. Having a spiritual communion with yourself and growing from the inside out, it doesn't mean we remove all external challenge. That's just not true. But it gives us a whole different fullness to address the challenges of our day. Now it's actually the Tuesday episode. This particular episode will be launched on a Thursday. The Tuesday episode of this week, literally right now. In that episode, I talked about where a couple who had been 12-step for years, they're using the 12-step techniques to kind of justify a toxic environment and justifying it always saying, well, I just have to look at my side of the street. He's just being him and I just have to look at my side of the street.

24:14I agree to that, but at a certain point, folks, it's time to change the street. Hear me. Time to change the street. If you're in an environment that every day you have to defend yourself, protect yourself, close yourself down because your partner sober or not sober isn't treating you nicely. It's time. Am I saying divorce? Hey, you know what? I got a divorce. I did. Am I telling you to get a divorce? No, but if you do, great website, divorce post. Go visit. Let them help. Am I an advocate of divorce? Of course, I'm not an advocate of fricking divorce. No, I'm not. But I am a supporter of personal and spiritual growth and relationships are either growing or they're going.

25:16Period. And if you're in a relationship that's growing, then you don't have to defend yourself. You don't have to protect yourself. Your partner's not treating you less than loving because the relationship's growing. Great. That's what relationships are supposed to be. I'm talking about relationships that aren't that way. And you have enough 12 step practice to justify the behavior because you're always looking at yourself, which is great. But sooner or later you have to look yourself in the mirror and say, why am I in the same toxic environment with somebody who might not be drinking, but they're still in loving. They're still unkind and they're still not supportive. And that's folks where relationships either grow or go. And that's why divorce post is something I'm going to talk about probably on every episode

26:17because in my opinion over the next 10 years at the rate at which people are growing, some people are, some people aren't. You are going to see and I'm going to share in my experience the relationships I used to have with people outside myself and how many of them aren't around anymore. And if you're in a relationship with a partner and together you're not growing, the likelihood of you outgrowing your partner is very, very likely. And I'm sorry. I hate to be the one to tell you, but I want to validate the part of you that knows the truth. Now, are you going to hear that at the church? No. Are you going to hear that from your family? No. Why? Because the social delusion of death to us part, regardless of all the garbage. That isn't the honoring of self. The covenant is with God, not the human. What is marriage? You're making a promise to God to be the best you can be and give that overflow to your

27:17partner. Yes. And if you're giving your overflow to your partner and you're not receiving it back, you got to look at it. Now, I'm not saying dump your partner because of the simplest reasons. I'm saying, if you're spiritually outgrowing your partnership, it's time to have the courage to change street. And I support that a thousand percent. And I believe it's going to happen more and more. This website deforesposed, you know, just helps. If I had it, my whole world would be different today. I didn't have it. I had nothing. I had no one. I had no support. When my past wife walked in and said, joy, I don't love you anymore. I divorced you and I don't love you anymore. That was a knife to the heart. And I had no place to take it. Well now with technology, there's places out there that can support. I'm super excited to make an announcement today. I've got a gentleman who I'm going to be supporting. His name is David Bartley and his passionate suicide prevention.

28:22Now I have to say the word suicide prevention because that's how I learned it. He says a whole different language to it. And eventually with deforesposed, David will be in the directory of my podcast and talk about how things work. I was talking to him for a very different reason. And literally I spoke to him on August the 31st and 15 years ago to the literal day, August the 31st. He was on a bridge in San Francisco getting ready to jump. The bridge was 495 feet above whatever the water is. I don't know. I can't remember the story. But I'm going to have him on as one of my guests. And soon we're going to be having an episode where we're going to have guests. I think it's going to be a third episode. And my only caveat to a guest being on my show on the Weap Podcast is do you have the

29:23ability to share honestly the dark first? And so many podcasts out there and I applaud them. Their intention is different than the Weap Podcast. It's, you know, you have a bunch of so-called experts who learn crap in a book and then they projectile it as a fact. And I'm not making fun, but if you ain't lived it, you learned it in a book. It's kind of like I say all the time. If you go into the dentist, right? There's three people in that dentist room. The person in the chair, getting the cavity out, the hygienist, and the dentist, right? Who are you going to listen to from a place of experience in that room? The dentist who's the smartest person on the planet, the hygienist who's the most loving person on the planet, are the person getting the root canal, the person going through the pain, the person going through the angst, the depth, the difficulty of the now moment

30:26sitting there in the chair. Well, for me, I'm listening to that person in the chair. And so many influencers have these guests out. I just heard one the other day. A particular female, I'm sure she's loving as I'll get out, 50 years doing some random stuff. And I get mad because it's just not true. She literally said, after 50 years of studying, everybody has the availability to control their mind and all they have to do is control their mind and if they control their mind, their life would be different. I want to scream. Why? Because 20 million people heard that or 10 or two or whatever the heck it is. And it's not true. How do I know it's not true? Because if you could control your mind and everything would be great, folks, you wouldn't be here. You'd go back to the same answer every time. Is anybody trying to harm? No. Is anybody lying directly?

31:26No. And there's a whole new era of awareness. And that's what the We podcast is. I never, ever asked the question, how do I change the thoughts in my mind? Ever. The only question I was ever asking is, why do I have the thoughts? The answer to why you have all the unloving thoughts is a hurt little kid inside. And I agree 1,000%. Your thoughts are what torture you. Your thoughts are what cause you angst. It's your thoughts that cause you fear. It's your thoughts that cause you anxiety. It's your thoughts that paralyze you. I agree to all of that. But the healing of the thoughts is not in your head. The healing of the thoughts is in your heart. That brings me right into my story. When I learned that, I learned about the inner child. It was February the 16th, 1990. Now, I didn't get sober until 94.

32:29So this is way before 1984. In 1989, my non-died. I grew up traditional Italian. Any movie you see that shows traditional Italian people the love, the camaraderie, the respect for family, the family is everything. It's a real life thing. I mean, that's real life. And that's what I grew up in. And my non was a matriarch in our family. She was. She was always there for me. My book, Filling the Void, is my story. My whole story. So please visit my website, joemidiga.com, and get the book. Download it for free. And the whole concept, what happened was, she passes. It takes me two bottles of Jack Daniels a night to feel anything. I'm in my mid, I'm in my upper 20s now, 26, 26 years old when she passed. And I owned a roofing company.

33:30I was working out six days a week, drinking every day, I smoke in marijuana a lot, and sex in all the time, you know, just live in that life and work, but, you know, emotionally pretty toxic. So, but I reached a point to where, with her death, the pain, nothing I did would curb it. I couldn't, I couldn't drink enough, sex enough, drug enough, and drugs think God didn't have the drugs of today. It was marijuana in my world. And eventually, I'm sitting at my mom's house, and, you know, I lived close with my family. And water's coming out of my eyes. And at that point, I didn't associate the water in my eyes as crying, but I just, I heard myself say I need help. And I called my mother at the time, and she was an emotional support for me. And I said, mom, I need help. I just need help. Lomba Hold, she talked to a friend, she introduced me to a therapist.

34:34And that's why I'm such an advocate for therapy because it fricking works. And if you're afraid to go, I get it. I was big, bad macho, almost 27. Mommy had to take me. Literally, my mother took me. I'm 27. So if you're afraid to go, have someone go with you. It's okay. Why? Because we can't let fear run our lives anymore. That's all part of the generation to change. You figure out how. And I mean it because I'm telling you, you're opening up in ways you don't even know. Things that bother you now emotionally two or three years ago, you didn't even know we're there. Why? Because you're waking up. The feminine side of you is waking up. I've got a fabulous story to talk about that here in a minute. Well, that was me back in 1990. Now folks, this is pre-self-off. I define my mother's, now we had the technology of the day.

35:38We had a phone that didn't have a cord anymore in 1990. Click, click, click. There was a push button phone. Call her up, she helps me. Anyways, terrified. Absolutely without question, terrified to go. You know what happened within 25 seconds that Tara was gone. Why? Because these are professionals. They are born, study, and create entrepreneurial practices to give back, to create safe, healthy environments. And my therapist back then her name was Mary and Massey. She saved my life. Literally. She didn't control me. She didn't tell me what to do. She just let me talk. And it really helped. It really, really did. And that's where eventually she introduced me to the concept of the inner child. And what is the inner child? And why do I bring it up?

36:39Because folks, humanity's waking up. The part of us that's waking up is the feminine side of self. The feminine side of self, the spiritual essence of it is a oneness with a power greater than you. And whatever you're labeling that, great. But the emotional side of the same part of you is the emotional sense of you. The mad, glad, sad, and scared. And it's simplest form for basic emotions. Mad, glad, sad, and scared. And since we weren't validated and supported 30, 40, 50 years ago, when we needed a grave, when we needed the rage, when we were afraid, and all of that emotion that was never emoted years ago, it gets suppressed inside of us. The consequence of suppressed emotion is made up belief systems. The made up belief systems are the voices in your head. Here what I just said, the suppressed emotion of years ago gets suppressed inside.

37:42Why? Because society didn't know how to honor it and validate it and let the emotions come out. It didn't. So it gets suppressed. You needed to cry when you were eight years old because you got your feelings hurt. And daddy said, big boys don't cry. You needed to get mad because your big sister tortured you on a, this is my story. My sister, she was the stellar athlete. She's about five foot freaking tall when we were in high school. She would give me a nine point lead playing 101 basketball. And she beat me 10 and nine every time. I was bigger. So I was kind of chunky. And then she'd torture me. Now my sister, Jamie, she and our great friends, we joke about it today. But can you imagine how many times at 11 years old I needed to go in and tell somebody that my older sister who was half my size just whipped me again at basketball? Who did I have to tell? Nobody. So what did the 11 year old and me do with my sadness?

38:45I bucked it up. Big boys don't cry. What did I do with my anger? I suppressed it in. What did I do with my fear when she challenged me again? I kept going back in there. No one ever told me to stop going back in there. Why? Because I was never taught how to honor fear for boundary. And I used that example. That's just a random kids playing outside in basketball. Three different emotions. And because she beat me every time. Angry because she beat me every time. And no one helped me validate the fear of stop playing. Because I didn't want everyone not to like me. Where did all that emotion go? Stuffed inside from 11. Well, folks, if you think back, you've got hundreds and hundreds of them. And people said, well, Joseph, I have to heal all that. Or take me forever. That's not true. I'm going to release, when you get into the emotional release component of your healing, it's like one big cry can heal 30 different things all at the same time.

39:48That's exactly my experience. Well, in therapy, I learned about this concept. Marion introduced me to the concept of the inner child. She did. And she gave me the idea. She taught me the whole dual hand journaling. Write with your dominant hand. And then let your non-dominant hand write. What you're asking the little kid in you, the emotional part of you, little boy and me, little girl and women, to ask that part questions. And when you get my book, filling the void, please join one of the book clubs. Because in the book clubs, we've literally come up with entire 12 week programs, all free, that will walk you right through the book, literally. And if you're like me and you like doing it by yourself, we've got a 70 page document. You'll be able to download for free. And you can follow through to help you do what I did. And I'm telling you, everything I did, everything I put in my book, was all channeled through

40:50me by a power much greater than me. But it was taught to me by people around me. And my therapist, Nancy, she was a ferocious reader. And she learned amazing things from the man named John Bradshaw. All the inner childwork I know was taught to Nancy by John Bradshaw. He died 50 some odd years sober. He was the grandfather of the concept and others, Marion Williamson and, I mean, just amazing spiritual thought leaders of the 70s and 80s. So this whole concept is what, and you have to understand, that's where it all started for Joe. And I didn't stop drinking. I didn't stop drugging. I didn't stop sexing. I didn't stop working out at all. Zero. My external behavior was the same. But since I was starting to give a voice to the inner me, I started to feel better.

41:53Where my behavior is acting as though I was feeling better? No. But I was feeling better. Yes, I was. Little by little. That's forward 44 years. A buddy comes walking in. It's February now of 1994. I'm living in an unfinished side of a basement. But no thought about it. Now my esteem was so low, I lived on a three inch piece of foam next to a furnace completely unfinished. Me and the bugs and the rats and whatever. It's just where I lived. Didn't think I'd think about it. And at least my buddy had a good enough job. I own my own business, so I loved the freedom of that. My buddy comes in. He says, Joe, you never got to believe it's Cossin and Scramon. I'm like Lincoln, what is wrong with you? He says, they want me to go to 90 meetings in 90 days and stop drinking. I remember thinking, stop drinking. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And I've shared this story over and over. And for new people, I want you to hear one of my first true, conscious thoughts.

42:59Was that. Not the stop drinking part, but I heard myself make fun of somebody not drinking. So I had a spiritual awareness of me making fun. I heard it and me making fun. But you can have an awareness if you do nothing with the awareness it stays right there. So spiritual awakening is when you start living from the new awareness. The awareness in this particular case was, I made fun of people not drinking. And I said, that's crazy. I'm going to stop myself. So I started living the new awareness. That's spiritual awakening. And I like asking people, and I hope you're writing this down. What was your first conscious thought? And did you start becoming aware of your own thoughts?

44:00How long ago was it? For a lot of you, it was the past couple of years. But I can pretty much guarantee you, there's a lot of you on here. When I say the word John Bradshaw, you say, oh, yeah, I remember John Bradshaw. When I hear the name, I say the name Wayne Diarr, oh, yeah, Wayne Diarr on television. There's a lot of you, my age, a lot of you older, maybe a lot of you have been on a conscious path longer than me. Why is it important? Because I want to bring conscious empowerment to how uniquely different you've been your entire life for a lot of you, a lot of you. And a lot of you women out there, I said all the time, women are the key to healing humanity. And I'm not kidding. Why? Because of your intuition. And intuition is something that the mass number of women, it's your gut talking to you through a power greater than you. Call it intuition, call it gut instinct, you call whatever the heck you want to call it.

45:00But it's not you doing the talking. And most women have had that ability. And it's in women much more than men because women's stomach chakra is where all life is created. Babies are created in women's stomachs. So women's intuitive capacities have been there most of their life. And for a mass percentage of women, far before emotional healing and any level of spiritual wisdom, they still had instinct. They still had their intuition. Now were you able to follow it? No, for most of you, the answer would be no. It doesn't mean it wasn't there. So now as you spiritually awake and emotionally heal and then you add your intuition to it, it's a three-fold powerhouse experience of spiritual communion, emotional compassion and intuitive guidance, all in one human, called powerful women.

46:02I've come across them lately and I'm telling you, they vibrate the room. Now, a lot of them don't even know it because it's just been so normal. I'm here to validate it in you women because how do I know it's so powerful? I've been on this path since 1990 and two months ago, three months ago, my stomach shock started opening for the first time and I'm not kidding. I'm like, what the heck is that? It took me forever. I had to ask my past life coach, Dr. Carl. And I said, that's what intuition is, isn't it? And I asked her, she hasn't asked, she's had her intuition in her whole life. Most of you have. And I say that because I want to constantly validate power. That's empowerment in women. And why is that? Because society, for millennia, have tried to beat it out of people, have tried to squash it out of people, have tried to make it something less than favorable. You used to be called a witch, used to be called Satan, used to be called all sorts of

47:04ugly, hateful, harmful ways. Why? Because men's way of control, because men dominated by the mental and the physical. They didn't have the capacity of intuition. Most of you women have your whole life. Well, I made it seven days, by the way, given up drinking. And I was not a God guy. In fact, I was an FU God guy. And I wasn't atheist. I don't think there's much between atheist and the FU God guy. Me, as I was just that way, because I was in an environment with a religion, and I just didn't believe what the religion believed. Even though my priest literally saved my life, came, and he knew how I felt, I applauded and honored and respected the man's living of his God's understanding that love, a monolithic God and love, the rituals and the belief systems around what he preached, I did not believe

48:08the man's method of living, I loved. And he loved me truly. And I honor him. And he knew I didn't believe what he believed, but he loved me anyways. Pure love without condition. And more than once, he and I had some, you know, in the social world, because I couldn't do what my entire environment around me did. Quick story. My cousin gets married. Devout Catholic, one of the most spiritually connected men I know to this day were 60s. And I was his best man. We're in this big old Catholic wedding, hauled me in my buddies, about 1200 of us in a line, you know what I'm talking about, those big old weddings. This is 40 years ago. A big Catholic church. And Father Cam says, and we're going to go to confession after church, everybody that wants to go, right Joe? Now, he knew I hadn't been in church in 10 years, if not 12.

49:13I suggest Father I'll go as long as you have the courage to talk to me face to face. I'll do what he said for you, Joe, you know, because the Catholic confession will be behind a curtain and all that. And so, you know, we've entered 75 people at this wedding rehearsal. And sure enough, we sat there. I said to him quite honestly, I said, Father, I cannot come in here and ask for forgiveness of everything I did yesterday, knowing that I'm going out tonight and doing the exact same thing. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. I said, you know, I said this to him. I said, Father, there's a lot of things I don't, I'm not necessarily too sure about with the God thing, but I am not going to lie consciously to God. I am not going to tell you, I am sorry for my sins of last night knowing I'm going out when I leave here.

50:14They're waiting for me in the car, Father, to go drink and drug and do all the crazy stuff. And you know what he said to me? He says, Joe, confession isn't about you making amends for your sins. Confession is about having the humility to know that God loves you anyways. I was like, oh, never thought of it. Never thought of it that way. Never forgot that. I was 26 years old. I'm 63. I still remember that now. I was 40 years ago. Well, the whole thing, right? Seven days in, I stand up, say, hey, God, if I'm not supposed to drink a drug, I need your help. And a rush of energy comes to me because my compulsions for alcohol and drugs had me. And drugs and alcohol removed in a moment, literal burning bush experience. Thirty plus years in the program. I never heard anyone's story that that happened to. And I'm somebody that preaches over and over. God's not codependent. God's not here to ask you. God will give you the strength and courage to walk out of your dark. You will.

51:14Well, in my case, I was literally burning bush struck sober. 54 days later, had full-ball own memories of being sexually abused as a kid. Seven years after that, the following seven years, I spent in complete isolation. I moved 50 miles north for two of those years. I lived in a room with a bathroom for two of those years and three years I lived in two rooms in a bathroom. No phone, no cell phone, no TV, no nothing, just me in the walls. That's where this book, Filling the Void, visit JoeMidega.com. This book was channeled through me during that era of time. 106,815 words, something like that. I called it Chiener Child has rights too. And why do I keep coming back to the inner child? Because the healing of the inner child, the why do we want to do it? Well, the why is because, and I call it inner child. You can call it inner self, you can call it emotional self, you can call it whatever

52:17that. You can call it Humpty Dumpty inside you. I don't care what you call it. I called it inner child because when I learned, I had to learn how to be nice to myself. If I could imagine myself as a little boy, which is easier for my big, mean ugly ego to be nicer to me in picturing a little boy, then the man I was. Because I was a man in physical stature, but I was a juvenile in emotional maturity. I just wasn't emotionally mature at all. And I was really mean and angry and all that. And most of it, I took out of myself. So when I started the whole process of becoming aware that the emotional source of all of my angst is inside of me, it wasn't my girlfriend's fault that I was lonely. It wasn't my friend's fault that I was angry.

53:18It wasn't my environment's fault that I was fearful. It was me in me. I learned that the solution to my loneliness, my fears, my fear of aloneness, my sadness, my fear of my need to control, my neglect experience, my fear of being abandoned. Every angst-filled adjective you have in the emotional growth process, you name it. The source to heal it is in your inner child. Why? Because your inner child is your conscious communion with the emotional sense of you. Me giving an example. I literally used to believe that all I needed was a person around and I wouldn't feel lonely. I believed it. And then as long as we had sex, then I believed I was being loved.

54:19I did. I had anything else. What was that? Now the challenge is when you use a human being for company and sex, eventually they get tired of it and eventually they leave. And the harder I would squeeze the hold, the more they'd push away to go. And then when they would leave, I would feel this massive hole in my stomach. And what did I do? Of course, the wisdom of the dead just go find another one. Why? The deep system was I needed to find something outside of me to fill the hole in my stomach. No. The hole in the stomach is because the inner sense of you has a hurt. My neglect issues came because I grew up in an environment where my father was never around. My abandonment issues came because my mother who was always around was emotionally unavailable. Period. It all happened from. So I was a very sensitive, emotionally connected little boy who needed more attention from my

55:20father and emotional support from my mother. The consciousness of their era, they didn't have the availability to do either of that. So I grew up with a wound at me. And the answer to the wound was drink more. Smoke more. Sex more. Work out more. Make more money. More money. More money. More money. More money. And so I got, in the way of the social norms, I realized when I learned in therapy that the way you heal, what's the reward? What would it feel like folks, to live a life with no fear? Imagine what your world would be like if you never felt lonely again. If your self-esteem grew, if your self-worth filled, if your personal integrity grew, think

56:21about what your life would be like a year from today. If this personal, sacred insecurities of your world, you and you, the fears and the insecurities that only you and your toothbrush know, think about how your life would be different from the present. If you didn't have to live with that burden anymore, and that's the why folks. That's the why you want to give a voice to the darkest parts. The answer to all of those hurtful experiences is giving a voice to your inner child. That's it. I can share that so clearly because I lived it. I was addicted to everything. And I was the most codependent human I've ever known. And I got some stories of people that walked out. Their codependence was nothing to mine, nothing.

57:23I literally broke into a girl's house. I about choked her new boyfriend literally to death walking out of a bar. I saw him together. I grabbed him by his neck. She's cussing and screaming. She's about five foot two. I'm six foot plus. I've got her new friend. I didn't know who that he was. I didn't care. I had him about neck choked up against a concrete wall. And she's screaming and cussing your craze. But for the grace of God, she calmed. And she said, Joe, it's okay. It's okay, Joe. Let's go. You and I'll go. And in that moment, I released the kids. I didn't literally kill him. I looked at him and then they both ran. And, you know, of course, the wisdom of the day, I had such a vacancy in my heart. I just knew if she saw me, that, you know, then everything would be fine. I broke into her parents' house. Literally broke the window of a door. Broke into the house just to be in a room when she came home.

58:23Now think about how crazy that is. You know what happened when she came home? I scared the bejesus out of her. She goes running out the door and the next day I went to jail. That's how much my co-dependence, that the vacancy in my heart was. So I get it, folks. I do. I could tell you story after story after story. And now, I don't have any of that. What I learned was my communion with my little kid, the inner emotional sense of me. That's why I talk about it in my book. Basically, love for a child is spelled T-I-M-E. Time. Love for a child is spelled time. And that's where I started. And in my book, I talk about, take five minutes a day. And then eventually get up to 15 minutes a day, bringing your conscious awareness inside yourself, imagining yourself as a little kid, whatever age comes.

59:28And then do the dual hand journaling and let that part talk. The more you give a voice to the deeper parts of yourself, the more those parts are going to open and the more they open, the more you fill from the inside out. Here what I just said, the vacancy in my heart, the cavern in my stomach, the complete deadness called me. That's where I used to live. And drugs and alcohol numbed it. And when I started giving a voice, putting, giving a voice to the darker parts of myself, I say the darker parts, meaning I wasn't aware. They weren't ugly, hurtful parts, just a little kid with no conscious awareness to. Well what happened was I start bringing awareness to the part that I give that part of voice so that multi-dimensional me before was Joe becoming aware of his thoughts, where there's

1:00:31two of me then, the part doing the awareness and the part having the thoughts. Well, as I start connecting to my little kid, there's multi-dimensional. So it's not only Joe, the part aware of his thoughts, but it's Joe, a part aware of his inner child, the emotional me. And when I learned that whole concept, I started taking more and more time. And that was all part of my seven years. That's all I did for years and years and years. And that's where I started the concept of, instead of saying, I'm all alone, I started saying, I'm with myself. I'm with myself. I would describe myself as an us, me and my little kid, together, me and him, we're together. And I literally got to the point where whatever I would do, I would ask my little kid if he wanted to do it. So I brought a tremendous amount of conscious awareness to the emotional part of myself.

1:01:38I brought that part into my day-to-day action steps. I would be at a grocery store, time to buy a new toothbrush. I'd say, hey, little Joe, what color do you want? Red or blue? He'd say, let's get red. I'd buy red. I'd say, hey, little Joe, what do you want? A hamburger? Do you like ketchup or mustard? I don't like mustard. He'd say, I like ketchup. Okay, let's put ketchup. Literally. For those seven years, I would have conscious interactive dialogue with the depths of myself. And what happened was over time, that part that was suppressed, that was neglected, that was abandoned by my parents in their unconscious world. And me, because of my unconscious behaviors, he began to heal. He began to open up. He began to trust. And the more he trusted me, the more he opened up. Now of course, when he opened up his heart, I had to feel the pain, suppressed to the past,

1:02:38which I did, I had support. That's why I say, if you're going deep, buckle up and get somebody to help you. I had help. I lived in solitude. I lived in isolation. But my therapist Nancy was always a phone call away. She was. I didn't see her very often, because I had to go hungry. I had no money. She used to cost like $40. I would literally have to not eat from a two-state to a Friday to have the money to see her. So please, we're talking to the wrong guy. As you're telling me, you don't have the money to go see a therapist. You have the money. Go hungry. I did, you can't do. Why? Because it's worth it. And it's worth it because when you're free of your own self-worth, when you're free of your own insecurities, when you're full from the inside out, you just have so much more life to live. And that's what happened for me.

1:03:39And it was in that fullness of healing my little kid, where one day, I'm literally, this is five years in, to my seven years. I used to have enough money. There's $3 movie theaters. Dollar for movie and dollar for popcorn. And I could find a buck every once in a while. And I'd go to the dollar movie. For five years, I grieved, I raged, I journaled, and I never felt like I had healed anything. I just didn't. It was like I was in a constant vacuum over and over and over. And that's what it felt like, a constant groundhog's day. And when I mean I grieved every day, I literally grieved every day. In the beginning, I raged every day. That's why I say to everybody, hey, fellas, if you got in the whiffleball bat, have you collected the pictures yet? Remember football season coming up, guys, take 15 minutes, get there early. Your buddies will tell you what happened. Go early before the game and go into one of their rooms and take some pictures and beat

1:04:43the bat. Get your age up. Why? Because we have to heal. And men, you have to heal your rage first and then buckle up. That woman, that beautiful wife of yours who you're taking your rage for crap out on, you're going to want her around pal when you start feeling your grief. So you better start being nice to her because I'm telling you, you and your big ass, big rage, easy to bully a woman, unless she's bigger than you, but it's easy to bully a woman with your rage. You're going to want her around when you get on the other side of that rage and you start feeling why you have so much rage. You have so much rage, guys, because you've got a hurt little boy inside hurting literally. All of the emotion of your past that was never grieved, that's why your rage is so big. And I can tell you, now I can't, I can't, I talk in generalities, but most women, most

1:05:46have a much easier time grieving than men do, kind of sideally and especially younger girls have an easier time. All of you know, of course, now, but I mean just in general, where men, big boys don't cry. We take that crap on it, fricking four or five literally. So all of that emotion that's never been emoted, it piles up and rages the reaction. So have you started your 15 minutes, guys? It's time. Start for new people, what you don't know what I'm talking about for the new people. I'm suggesting to men to get a whiffle ball bat, get pictures of people they don't life, sneak in your wife's picture, everyone's walks that guarantee your mad at her. Why? Because she's in your life to push your buttons. She won't care, I guarantee you. She would rather have you take your anger out on the bed with a picture than your anger out on her on a Tuesday. I promise you that.

1:06:46And 15 minutes a week, all I'm asking fellas is 15 minutes. I did hours and hours and hours and hours and hours. If I can do hours, you can do 15 minutes and I promise you, you get in that routine 15 minutes a day, 15 minutes a week, your whole life will change. Then I have to get practice with rage, get some headphones, five minutes a week, find a song. I found this amazingly talented female singer named Amy Manford out of Australia. And I will turn this woman's music on and I'll listen to it over and over. She helped me grieve my dad's death, literally. Someday I hope to shake this woman's hand. If she lets me, I'll hug her neck. She is gifted with a voice, a heart-centered voice, Amy Manford. And I use term music to grieve the death of my father, headphones. So fellas, five minutes ahead from get the grief out too. And I say all that right because what happened for me is eventually as my little kid starts

1:07:48opening up more and more and eventually the rage is kind of out of the way. So the grief starts grieving and we grieve and grieve and grieve. But eventually, kind of on the other side of the grief. Now for me, whenever I was done with grief, there was always more, but that's not the case for most of you. It's not. But what happens on the other side when the inner child opens up, when the inner essence of you opens up because it's not holding on and afraid of grief, it's not suppressing emotion when it opens up. What comes out of the opening is love. And what the love is, the experiential essence of your higher power. Here would I just said folks, most of you have a belief system in your head of a God. I'm telling you, you have the conscious human capacity to experience this oneness from

1:08:50your heart out. That's why I'm so passionate about the inner child work. I wasn't pursuing God. Are you freaking kidding me? I freaking hated God. That's why I called myself an FU God guy. I always said, that was a God. There's no way I'd be in so much pain. Well, today, the experience of God in my life, the higher power in my life, it is so profound. It is so one. It is so in communion, not because I was trying because it's just there. It literally feels like there's a presence sitting next to me sometimes. How did I get all that? Because I was healing the inner child. That's why I said, I'm not teaching anybody anything. I didn't learn any of this, especially from the God part. I remembered it. It was just there. And then it just became more and just became more. And the more I healed my inner child and the more those inner emotional parts of me felt better, the more they felt better, the more open they became.

1:09:55And that openness happened because I earned trust with my little kid. I would say trust plus action equals faith and trust is earned. Trust is earned. And you give your little kid 15 minutes a day, that inner emotional essence of yourself, 15 minutes a day. And then when you're out in the grocery store or Christmas shopping or whatever, you start interacting with your inner child, just like you would your own daughter or your own son or your husband, you start interacting with your own inner child that same way. It becomes a living essence inside of you that is connected to all there is. It's the emotional communion between you and higher you. And why is that so important? If there was one word, one word you would use to describe a power greater than yourself, the word would be love. Literally, it would be love. The exact thing Father Kim showed me, the exact thing my aunt showed me, the exact thing

1:10:58that one of my closest friends who were devout Catholics, but what did they show me? Love. One word for a power greater than yourself. One word for this thing called God, you'd call it love. Well, where's love folks? It's in your heart. How do you access it? How do you commune with it through your inner child? How do we interact with the inner child? Dual hand journaling. Write out questions with the right hand. Let the left hand answer. The left hand is your inner child speaking. You have the conscious capacity to emotionally commune, commune as one with the love that's inside of you and that love is God. I live that on a daily basis. I share it on these podcasts on a daily basis. And that is the overarching reason why we want to heal the depths of ourselves.

1:12:01As we heal the depths of ourselves, as we heal and we get all the suppressed grief and rage and anger and everything out of the way, the voices that were created because of the suppressed emotion, those voices just go through psychic death and not even there. I say to people all the time, for you new people, I'm asking everybody to practice the concept of silence of five minutes a day. And I say that because you want to hear your higher power, your higher power is the small voice inside of you. Well, the only way you can hear that small voice is you have to be calm enough and separate yourself from the loud voices. Well, think about this, folks. How about if you could create a now moment when you sat, there were zero loud voices? What would your life be like then? You know, it'd be like, it'd be like mine. I'm working a 40,000 piece puzzle. I spend five to six hours a day in silence.

1:13:05Silence does not mean no motion. Silence means no external stimulus. And I'm doing it as all part of my spiritual practice. I'm almost a tenth of the way done. For a lot of you that don't know, I did an 18,000 piece puzzle in my sacred silence, grieving my past wife and my life together. I did an 18,000 piece puzzle. And unbeknownst to me, I get this big old puzzle, 18,000 pieces. There's four bags. Well, what is the entrepreneur big-ass personality do? I rip open all four bags, dump them in a pile and start sorting. I found out four and a half years later that 18,000 piece puzzle is actually four, 4,500 piece puzzles. Each one of those bags represented a corner of the puzzle. I didn't know that. So literally, I had four corners already sorted. Well, I made sure they got all messed together. And then I sorted them one piece at a time. That puzzle took me three and a half years, 18,000 pieces.

1:14:08It's 10 feet across, 8 feet high. I have it in my puzzle room now. The new puzzle I'm doing, it's 42,000, 41,000 pieces. It's 8 feet high, 22 feet long. Why am I doing it? Well, because I was asked and guided back into silence by my higher power. And I never forget, I haven't resisted my higher power for a certain a long time. And I said, no, dear God, please, not silence. Please, not please. And my angst was not the silence. My angst was the interpretation of it. And basically, my higher power wanted me to take my headphones off. And I go back into solitude, because that was my seven years. That's what I was really. I didn't want to go ahead. I can't. I've got kids. I can't be in solitude. Well, I was not being asked to do that. I was asked to be in silence. So literally on a daily basis, five to six hours. So folks, if I can go five or six hours, you can go five minutes.

1:15:09And I'm going to be talking about it in a coming up in the presentation about dream big dreams. What would your life be, folks? How about this is an amazing dream? Wake up someday and have no voices. What would your life be like if you didn't have any voices in your head? Well, I'll tell you what it'd be like. It'd be like amazing abundance, truly. And that's what the whole process of healing the emotional side of yourself. That's what the Weep podcast is about. I'm creating different supportive relationships with outside resources, divorce posts to help you. This new man, David Bartley, if you know anybody in the suicide world from places that need a speaker to, you know, your son that you're afraid of, this man will talk. I'm creating relationship right now with a mental health organization that I'll be able to point people to.

1:16:10I want to give you the how to and the places to go because the Weep podcast is an awareness podcast, not a solution. I tell you what I did, but I'm going to be pointing you in directions. And so the Weep podcast is an emotional growth, human transformation podcast. Well, the human transformation, that part of the podcast is then where I want to share with you what you do with your newfound overflow, what you do with your newfound extra time, what you do in trying to seek out your next thing because part of the generation of change is all about because there's so many of us that have already done the business. Our kids are launched. We've got a great relationship with our wife and we're 50 or 52 or 61. We've got 30, 40 years to do something. What's our new adventure? Well, the new adventure is to teach yourself how to move from gratitude to grace. Gratitude is the human experience of producing out into the world,

1:17:13putting your overflow out into the world and receiving back some level of abundance. And you're grateful for the abundance. It's wonderful. It's a beautiful place to be, but eventually we outgrow that. And I'm going to tell you how I learned this here shortly because I really thought until four years ago that gratitude was the end result. Heal my stuff, be grateful, do whatever, and then boom, we're done. Like live and gratitude to the rest of our lives. No, folks. Gratitude is the launch spot, not the end spot. And it's the launch spot between living as your humanity and living as your divinity. Well, the living of your divinity, the way you become one with the divinity, true communion, which is spiritual awakening, spiritual enlightenment. What it literally means is to be one with enlightenment in the light you as light. You get that through your inner child healing and you connect to the emotion

1:18:16and called love. And if God is love and love is an emotion, emotions are in your heart. Heal your heart. The only thing left is love. Well, you heal your heart through the inner child work. Well, then once you've healed it, now what? That's where then you take that overflow and you start living it out into the world. And as you live it out into the world by giving back into the world, that's where you move from gratitude to grace. And grace is when the experience you have in your heart, your belly, your soul because you've given back to the world. That's how I say 100 million people. I'm going to help 100 million people heal. I'm going to help 100 million people commune with their hearts. I'm going to help then 100 million people when they're in that commune with the heart. What do they do? They give back. And that brings me to September 22, 2022. And for, I got to check that date. I'm not sure if it's September 20th or September 22nd, but I know it's right there, 2022.

1:19:21Now, I'm literally at this point 26, 7 years sober. I've been married 10 years. We go our separate ways, do my puzzle. I made conscious choice not to date, wanted to give all my overflow to my sons. I have a guilt-free attraction to a woman about five years out of my marriage, which told me that I was available emotionally when it was spiritually time. I'm a single man now, have been all these years. But anyways, so I come across this document of a woman and I'm reading it. And this woman is talking about a grander tomorrow. And I'm like, whoa, she's talking from her divinity. This is how you know. When you hear the voice in you that's talking about a grander tomorrow, that's your divinity. When you hear a voice in you that's talking about a less than tomorrow, that's your ego and your wounds. This woman's writing, she's a brilliant writer, a grander tomorrow.

1:20:22I was like, wow, this woman's writing from her divinity. And a couple day or day later, whatever, I'm clicking around online. And I'm not an online guy at all. Prior to September, 2022, I had five pictures of Joe online. I had a staff of people that handled my AVE on the energy business. I wasn't online at all. I click, I hear people talking, I learn later, it's just thing called a podcast. I didn't even know what a podcast was. And I'm listening to this woman. And she's speaking from her heart, spiritually speaking from her heart. I could feel it. And my heart explodes. Of course, in the moment, I thought it was emotional. Within a couple of months, I realized it wasn't emotional. It was just simply expansive. And what happened in that moment, I came across the path of somebody who was more spiritually connected to her heart than I was. And I've been on this path since 1990. I'd never come across another conscious human before ever. Now, this particular woman, I've never met. Never. I probably never will.

1:21:23It doesn't matter. I don't need to talk to somebody to feel their spiritual communion. I felt it. And because she lived in a place I hadn't yet reached, I expanded to meet her consciousness. That's what happened. Literally within 15 minutes, a book called Unequal Eoq starts. It's pouring through me, identical to my first two books, Filling the Void and Why We Feel Alone. Filling the Void, the book you can get on my website, Joe Middega right now, was channeled through me literally almost 30 years ago now, literally. It'll be available on JoeMiddega.com, Filling the Void channel. All I did was listen and write the exact same experience 25 years later. I hadn't done any writing. I hadn't done any speaking. I hadn't been out in the public doing a spiritual thing, anything. All of a sudden, not a nowhere, Unequal Eoq starts piling through me, pouring through me.

1:22:24And of course, the term for Joe Unequal Eoq sounds like a religious term because it is. And in the religious perspective, Unequal Eoq means that two humans with different religious belief systems, they're not yoked for each other. They're typically not going to be able to have a real match, a real marriage because two people are supposed to be making a covenant to God. You're making marriages, a commitment to God that you're overflow to your partner and you're promising God with that. That's what marriage is. Well, if you've got a different belief system than the God, you're unequal Eoq. Well, I wasn't looking at it like that. I was looking at unequal Eoq more from a personal growth position. I.e. some people are spiritually growing, some people aren't. If you're spiritually growing and your partner's not, you're not yoked anymore. This whole book comes from me. Well, as I'm hearing this concept, the biblical idea, and I'm not a God guy.

1:23:26You know, I'm certainly not a Jesus guy. I've never read the Bible. I believe in the Bible. I challenge human interpretation of the Bible all day every day. I do. So I asked, I started thinking of Jesus and I said, you know what? I don't care what religion you are. Today's date is September the 1st, 2026, about 930 at night. You know why? You know why today's date is 9 1, 2026. The date is because of one man's death. The man's name is Jesus. ADBC are calendar. Our literal global calendar started around the approximate death of one human named Jesus. Don't care your belief systems, folks. That's a fact. If you believe today's the day, you have to believe this man was a pretty special guy. And I don't care if you believe in him or not, but I said to myself, this is how I just thought. I said, you know, doesn't it just make sense that I should at least listen to the

1:24:31man who all time was started around? Shouldn't I at least listen to what he has to say? And then what came to me was, I wonder what because all time started in the moment, right? Well, y'all know the story. On a Friday, he's nailed to a board naked. And you know, that's why I always say that abundance has nothing to do with money. The most abundant guy ever lived naked on a board. Three days later, he rises. It's called Easter. But that isn't where time starts. Time starts because then he comes back and he ascends something and what was the very last thing because poofo he ascends so then the calendar starts. Now that's just how my wacky ass brain thinks, right? So I ask handy dandy chat. Hey, chat. It's the last thing Jesus said. And of course, chat, chat's a she in my world, of course, because I just think women are amazingly wise people. So chat's a she. My chat is a she. And gives me a couple of really cool biblical phrases.

1:25:34But one of them said one of the very last things Jesus said was because as he's ascending in his divinity as divinity, the apostles are saying, dude, where are you going? You're only 33. It's crazy around here. They're going to kill us. We need you. Where are you going? That's what the apostles were saying. Can you imagine? Talk about dead. Talk about a dead era of time, 2000 years ago, just consciousness dead. Jesus says, I have to go and sit by my father so that my father can put the spirit that guided me in all of you, in all of you. Now I paraphrase that completely. But look it up. Let's chat. Hey, chat. What's the last thing Jesus said? And it was in that moment, the in all of you, that the concept of we became a thing in

1:26:35Joe's head, the we prior to that moment in time, which is this is end of September, 2022. It was an us. Joe described myself as an us, a me and my little kid. We, me and him, us. We were together, him and I. In that moment in time, when I read it off a chat that Jesus's last word said, I have to leave. So my father, which is God, can put the same spirit that guided me in, I and in all of you. That's when Joe's us became a we. Joe the man. Joe the inner child. Joe the divinity. And that's where we was born. And the divinity part of us is waking up more and more globally. How do I know?

1:27:36Welcome Germany, Norway, United Kingdom, Canada, Malaysia, all over the globe. The same consciousness is waking up around the world. And how do I know that literally, socially, because polls out there are saying that human beings individually, when asked, consider themselves more spiritual than religious. Religion has a particular style and thought process around connection with God. Each religion has its own. Perfect. Working for you. Great. Millions of people it works for. For those of you that are saying, I feel more spiritual than religious, why do you feel more spiritual than religious? Because the guidance system that is in you is waking up. That's what the awakening process is. How do I know it's in there?

1:28:36Because in the Bible, it says it's in there quoting Jesus. Why should we listen to Jesus? All times started around this guy's death. AD, after death, BC, before Christ, all time. Pretty special guy. So if you think about it like that, it's in us. Well, Joe, if it's in us, why can't we live it? Well, we can't live it because for millennia, we've been told that it's not in us. We've been told that you have to go to church to find God. We've been told that if you don't follow the church's laws and the rules, you're going to burn in hell. I go on and on and on. For millennia, humanity has been taught or separate from complete falsehood folks. We are waking up to it more and more every day. How do I know? Because the masses asked independently describe themselves more spiritual than religious.

1:29:39That's where the we podcast was started to honor the people that are waking up more spiritually. And why do I tell my stories all the time? Because I wasn't seeking God. I didn't care about a God. All I wanted to do was stop hurting. I hurt emotionally all the time. Seven years. Try living on 300 bucks a month, folks. Try it. Seven years. All I wanted was to stop hurting. So I did. Eventually I stopped hurting. And the more I stopped hurting, the more I just started waking up to this essence, I could hear it. I could feel it. I didn't know what that was in the beginning, but the more I could. And then while I was in so much pain, I learned the concept to ask for strength and courage. And then afterwards, I learned the concept of ask for guidance. You can literally communicate with your higher power.

1:30:41Ask. Well, Joe, if God's inside of us, why doesn't God just do it all for us? Free will. The answer to that is free will. So here you are, the human sense of self. You're the humanity human. You have an inner child, an inner communion. You can connect with your inner emotional sense of self through the consciousness of your inner child. You can also connect with a higher vibrational you through the same type of communion. And the reason you have to ask is because asking causes a state of humility. And in a state of humility, you are spiritually open. The seventh step of every 12-step program is ask for support. Period. Look it up. Any 12-step program. The only thing that heals and helps an alcoholic stop drinking is a spiritual program called AA. 12 steps.

1:31:41You name it. Been around forever. The seventh step. Read it. What does it do? Seven steps says ask for help. The essence of the seventh step is ask for help. So folks, how do you find what your higher purpose is? Ask. How do you find what you're supposed to do with your overflow? Ask. How do you find, ask, and then listen. And in your practice of silence, you'll hear it. You'll hear it. And as you do it, and as you ask, and you learn to ask, and you learn for guidance, then you better ask for strength and courage because then you have to follow it. That's where the more you follow, the guidance of a power greater than you, that's where faith comes into play. And that's why the title of this particular episode is, for me, the spiritual and personal growth that showed me how to outgrow my old patterns, I had to learn how to trust that higher power.

1:32:41Somewhere in my process, about five years in, a second step happened to me. I'm outside. I was telling the story earlier about outside the movie theater, and I have this awakening. Five years of growth happens to me in a moment. I was grieving and raging and coming, whatever, for five years, I didn't feel any different. I felt no relief. I felt darker than ever, even though I'd been growing and shifting and changing. And in a moment, the awakening happened and the awareness of five years of growth happened in a moment. And in that spot and time, I heard a voice in me say, do I want to follow? The voice of all that is. The voice of God, the voice that created all that is, do I want to follow the guidance system of the essence that created the universe, that created the ants, that created the ocean, that created millennia? Do I want to follow the guidance of all that is?

1:33:45Or do I want to follow the ego that made my life so miserable? No. You would think, God, immediately, you say, yeah, I want to follow that God guy. Hell no, I didn't say that. No way. Why? Because I was too afraid to say it. But before I left that car, I said, yeah, that kind of makes sense. I'd rather follow that other. I don't know how. I didn't know how to do it. This was way before I knew how. Well, the how folks is to ask, ask for guidance, and then you'll hear it. And how do you know the difference? What are you listening for? You're listening for the voices in your head because for the reality is most of you are going to live with some of your fear-based voices the rest of your life because the most of you aren't going to be guided to go to the depths of your angst to heal all the pain which gets rid of all the voices. I'm telling you, if I didn't have to, I would have. So to me, pretty easy. I don't have all the other voices. So I can hear that God voices me a lot. I can.

1:34:45But how do you identify the difference? Spending your God voice has going to be the voice of all inclusion. It's going to be the voice of all possibility. It's going to be the voice of all probability. It's going to be the voice of maybe. It's going to be the voice of possibility. It's going to be the voice of love. When you hear that voice that's the voice of your power, versus the eye can't that It'll never work, no one will listen, versus the absolute voice. And in the beginning, what I suggest, when you're really trying to identify your higher power voices, I suggest that you do a first step on the glass empty voices. I've got a good friend that I've been supporting out of Texas. Now this is a dynamic female, little bitty thing. And powerhouse author, powerhouse speaker, super in touch,

1:35:49super in tune was putting it out there in the world forever, and then it all just closed down on her. And our paths crossed because I saw some of her writing and long story short, I've been a support and about, this has been two or three years ago now. She started hearing voices in her head, God, she thought she's nuts. Powerhouse Christian, but she heard these voices and it was just different. And the more we talk, the more validated, no, that's your higher power, that's voices and she could connect to that, but then she couldn't feel it. And then she would like lose her ability to create, like literally from day late is zero. And I kept saying, Connie, you've got emotion in you that needs to come up. Now she had never heard of the inner child. And eventually through conversation, and we didn't talk that much, we texted up once a week. And then something happened,

1:36:50not remember what the circumstance was. And I said, sweetie, ask your little kid, ask your little kid what's going on. Hang up from me, ask, and sure enough, she had a 16 year old. And whatever the experience was in her world, her 16 year old remembered how her dad was never supportive and her dad was never around. And I helped her be the loving parent for her 16 year old in her and sure enough, she grieved, she got to it, got some anger out. Things were pretty good. Did her creativity come back? No, about, I don't know, eight, nine months later, something happened, death in a family, and I get the stories confused, I got a bunch of people, but something happened, true loss, kind of like my loss, when I lost my dog Zeus. My August 11th podcast folks, if you haven't listened to that, that is a grown man crying for 80 minutes.

1:37:50I hope to never have to be in that type of pain again and share, I will, if I ever forget there. But something happened in her world. And I just supported her in, honey, you sit on your couch, that's my whole thing. Sit on your couch and feel your feelings. I sure enough she did work through some challenges. And for about two, three weeks in and out, work couldn't work much, grieve, grieve, grieve, work couldn't work much, grieve, grieve, grieve. And then has this massive release, she cried for 20, 30 minutes. And then the next day she just felt better. And then, oh, I don't know, a month later, she texts me saying, you're never going to believe this, Joe. My creativity came back, my speaking is back. I just did a presentation in Houston. And everybody came up to me and told me that it was so powerful and so this and so that. And she said, joy, I just don't know what happened.

1:38:52I said, honey, you were closed down, your spiritual availability to flow in writing and in communion, closed down, not closed down, it kind of got choked off because you had emotional angst in the way. So you give a voice to your 16 year old and the 16 year old was more pissed than sad, then we gave a voice to the seven, eight year old who was very sad, lost and lonely, a little girl, and that little girl grieved. Well, when she was done grieving, it's like because the emotional and spiritual parts of your are together, they're in the same place together. So when your emotions are closed down, your spiritual flow also, it's like it gets choked off, it's still there, but it's choked off. When you emote and your heart opens, then the flow opens. And she says to me, she can't believe it. Like she's flowing more than ever. So I'm celebrating so proud so this, so that,

1:39:55we've later, she says, you know, I don't know what to do, Joe. I just keep hearing these voices, it's not me, I'm not good enough, I'm not this, I'm not that. And I said, well, we'll get together because you need to first step those voices, the I can't voices. So the more you feel in here, the all one voices, the more you're also going to hear, the I can't voices. And all you have to do with those I can't voices, folks, is write them down, bullet point, bullet point, bullet point, bullet point, and tell them to somebody else. Does it remove them? No, because there's a wound that's causing them, but it will calm them tremendously. And from that experience, she'll not only have an open flow that feels awesome, but the effect it has on people around her, as you're communing, what is the real reason we want to live from a power greater than ourselves is because every time you're around people, with an open heart, you open the hearts of people around you.

1:40:58And it's that's the gift you give people. I've got a woman I work with forever, who I don't have time on this episode, but I'm going to share an entire episode on this particular woman's journey. She was deeply, deeply entrenched in co-dependence. And now she's walking out of very empowered being, truly. I'm going to share hers in detail. Another man, Farhan, who is the developer out of Dubai because of him, go find me on social media folks, find my social media, look up Project Smile, Farhan because of a livestream I did. His organization put a well and a school in for one of my Uganda caregivers. Again, I'm going to devote an entire episode on Farhan. But I want to leave you with one last story. So I've been going to the chiropractor since I was a kid, not a kid, 20s, 40 years.

1:42:00I married a woman whose uncle, whose grandfather was one of the first chiropractors in South Carolina. So her uncle, Dr. Bolin, was my chiropractor since 2003. Well, he passed his wife, sold the practice to a man named Dr. Cannon. Dr. Cannon's been my chiropractor for a while. And they live this practice is probably, it's a good 30, 35 minutes, could be 40 minutes with traffic. So unfortunately, I don't go as much as I want to because of the distance. But I go the rest day, he says, it's you. I said, yeah, it's me. How are you? I thought he was going to kind of get on me because I haven't seen him. He said, you're not going to believe it, Joe. You're not going to believe it. He's a big, he's a big old chiropractor. He's at least 6'3'2'50. You know that man, you know what they are. He was a rugby player. And he's just the most connected, nice as Gound

1:43:00and entire planet, but he's big, big. And he says, that beautiful Australian accent. You're not going to believe it, Joe. You're not going to believe it. I was like, what? He says, I was in my car the other day and my car is connected to podcasts. And out of nowhere, there was this beautiful podcast that came up and the wording across it just drew me in, Joe. It just drew me in. And my podcast, we, with the big letters and the exhibition was on his car. And he didn't even know I did a podcast. In fact, I don't see him. And he said that I clicked on it. I was just drawn in and I clicked on it. And I said, I know that voice. And it was me. And lo and behold, he said then later while we're talking, he says, you know, you were saying this and you were saying that and you were talking to me, Joe. I was the one you were talking to and come to find out. He's going through some death in his family. He's going through some personal challenges. He's waking up. He's a big old, big old, burly guy.

1:44:02Not accustomed to crying. You know, he's accustomed to being a good dad and a wife. And he's got all these emotions coming up. So literally I have this beautiful, beautiful connect with a man who the wee podcast just showed up. Exactly when it's supposed to show up. And why is that, folks? Because his divinity is connecting with whatever my divinity was saying at the time. Was it Joe? No. Nothing to do a show. My divinity, it just showed up. And I look forward to because we're talking. And you could just tell he had a relief in his heart and a relief in his head. And I said, you know, Dr. Cannon, you need to talk. You just call me. You know, I'm happy to listen. And he gets up and he said, you know, can I just give you a big hug and I knew I better grip good because he hugged. She knocked the wind out of you. And, you know, we embraced and my heart melted, it truly did because he's a living embodiment

1:45:04of why I do we. It's my way to get back. And I feel good when I get back. And I want to make sure that I encourage and teach all of you how you can live the same place I live. Living it is in the giving back. How do you find it? How do you embrace it? Why do you want to do it? You want to do the healing. So all of the uncomfortable emotional experiences in your life can be in your past instead of your future. We can really heal insecurities and fears and loneliness and aloneness. We can heal it literally by embracing the depths of self. And as you embrace the depths of self, all the crazy voices go away. Your serenity happens when the voices are healed by embracing the reason you have them, which is emotion. And then as that little kid feels better and the little kid opens up, the emotional consequence of the child within you opening up, you're gonna feel a love in your heart

1:46:07and everyone who is there. That love is your emotional communion with a power greater than yourself. It's literally living as the communion. And then when you take that love and you share it out into the world, you go from living a life of gratitude to living a life of grace. And as you're living your grace, you feel better. Can I define what your grace is? No, no. How do you know when you're doing it? Because you're gonna feel it. You're gonna feel the overflow. Why did Matt Damon could have anything in the planity one? Why did he start water.org? Because it felt good for him to give back. I look forward to having him on the show someday. Here's a guy that had the capacity through his fame and his worldliness to raise $100 million. My nonprofit, Project Smile, $250 a month. But it makes a difference for these people.

1:47:09You might have $20. And you may not have any money, but you go to a hospital and hold kids. Are you work at an animal shelter? You give back somehow. Folks, it's in the giving back that you'll experience the grace. And as you experience the grace, you'll wanna give back more. And together, or healing, together, or making a difference. And together, or healing humanity, one smile at a time. And from around the world, I wanna welcome you to Wee. So that's it for today's episode of The Wee Podcast. Head on over to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week that posts a review on Apple Podcasts or iTunes will win a chance at the grand prize drawing to win a $25,000 private VIP day with Joe himself.

1:48:14Be sure to head on over to WeePodcast.global and pick up a free copy of Joe's gift. And join us next time for The Wee Podcast. Wannaaza Family?