I Keep Doubting Myself Because It’s Scary When My Life Keeps Having to Change — The Emotional and Spiritual Transformation That Helped Me Be Guided by My Higher Power, Start Believing in Myself, and Live an Abundant Life

0:00If you felt lonely, isolated, disconnected, with an empty feeling sign at just yearning for more, knowing something is missing, then this podcast is for you. So here's your host, Joe Mitiga. Hello and welcome to We. There have been so many times in my life when I've doubted myself, not because I wasn't trying, not because I didn't want my life to get better, but because quite honestly, change for me can be really scary. And sometimes just when I think I'm beginning to understand who I am and where my life is going, something changes again, a relationship changes,

1:01my work changes, my dreams change, the people around me change, the world changes, and sometimes I have to change too. For most of my life, I thought something was really wrong when I felt afraid during those moments. I actually thought, maybe if I was just stronger, more confident or more spiritually connected, I wouldn't doubt myself so much, but I'm beginning to understand something very different. Maybe, just maybe, self-doubt, doesn't always mean I'm going in the wrong direction. Sometimes I doubt myself because I'm being asked to become someone I've never been before. And quite honestly, that's scary because the person I used to be knew how to live the life I used to have, but that person doesn't always know

2:04how to live the life that is unfolding in front of me right now. That requires growth. It requires courage. And for me, quite honestly, it requires a tremendous amount of faith. Today, instead of asking myself, why does my life keep changing? I'm learning to ask, who is my higher power guiding me to become through this change? The question has begun to change everything for me because maybe I don't have to know exactly where my life is going. Maybe I don't have to have every answer. Maybe I don't have to feel completely confident before I take the next step. Maybe, just maybe, I simply need to have enough faith to keep moving forward. Because every time my life has changed,

3:06I've eventually discovered something about myself that I couldn't see before. I discovered strength I didn't know I had. I discovered courage beneath all my fear. I discovered dreams. I didn't know I was capable of pursuing. And most importantly, I began discovering that an abundant life isn't necessarily a life where nothing changes. Maybe an abundant life is a life where I learn to trust myself while everything is changing. A life where I stop allowing fear to decide who I can become. A life where I trust that my higher power may see possibilities for me that I still can't see for myself. Today, we're going to talk about self-doubt. We're going to talk about why change can feel so frightening.

4:09We're going to talk about why becoming someone new can make us question ourselves, even when our lives are actually moving forward. We're going to talk about how emotional and spiritual transformation can help us stop being afraid of who we're becoming, begin feeling, believing in ourselves, and trust that there may be an abundant life waiting on the other side of the changes we're so afraid to make. Because maybe, just maybe. The question isn't, how do I stop my life from changing? Maybe the question is, can I trust my higher power, believe in myself and keep becoming the person I was created to be even when I'm scared. My name is Joe Middica, and this is we. Welcome to we, everybody.

5:10It is an amazing night here in Atlanta, Georgia. It's kind of an exciting time of year. Super hot here. I mean, I don't know, 100 degrees or something like that, but it's football season, and even though I'm not really a big sports fan, my son is, so we connect through sports all the time. And today, or yesterday, or I think this weekend, it's Labor Day here in the US. I believe this was the opening weekend for college football. So it's kind of fun. The whole world of college sports is exciting. It's new in our world, my old son. As a lot of you know, if you've been around for a while, is a collegiate athlete, is in his first year playing college baseball, he's having a great time with it. And you know, life just continues to unfold. It really does. This is the, you know, a perfect topic. This self-doubt thing associated with change. And I have to tell you, we're going to get into dive deep into a lot of my changes

6:13over the years. It's so interesting because everything I'm doing now, this podcast for sure is a huge change in my life. That literally started about a year ago, right now, about 11 months ago. We launched our first episode in November of 2025, but you know, the whole process started while I was watching a Wisconsin football game. And I'll tell that story here a little bit later, but it's interesting how it's all full circle. And you know, the doubts still happen and we're all human. And I'm going to talk about that. I'm going to talk about what do we do? I'm going to talk about how do we address the doubts, the fears, the concerns, and be able to move forward anyways. Because the whole, I can't move forward, isn't true. It's created because you don't have the techniques necessary to find the voices, the guidance system that helps you move forward. And you know, we live in a world where so many people

7:15will just say, go get them tiger, do it anyway. Get off the couch and go do it. Well, they don't help you identify why you're stuck on the couch. And we're going to talk about that today because fear and doubt and self doubt, it's a human experience, folks. It's just this. And I can tell you, depending on where your life is, if you're going through massive changes, there's going to be a bunch of it. If you're in the depths of the dark, there's going to be a bunch of it. If you're in a really challenging, emotional, I can't breathe type of pain. There's going to be a lot of self doubt. There is. And I'm going to give you techniques throughout this episode to keep moving forward anyways. And if you're on the other side of life where everything's great and your world's wonderful and you've got more money than month and your partnership actually is working, and everything's great. But you know there's something else that needs to happen. There's not near the fear. There's not near the torturous fear,

8:17but it can still be scary. It can still be anytime we do something new, a lot of times they're scary. It's scary. So we're going to talk about that today. We really are. And I'm going to bring the human element into fear and just kind of talk you through it. Tell you what I did. Tell you what some other people have done. And you know, just keep having conversations. So I want to welcome everybody from around the world. I still am kind of in shock quite honestly. It's kind of an awe to me. How the we podcast is literally exploding. My son every once in a while asked me, so Dad, how's it going? I said, well bud, you know, it's really good. And he says, he listens, but he said he can't listen to my voice. So he double times the speed and he kind of listens to it in the background. And he'll ask me questions because, you know, he hears me on both sides and it's kind of cool that he's listening. It can be a little uncomfortable obviously. You know, I'm here to be as open and as honest

9:17and as intimate as I can. And no one, my kids are hearing all my dirty laundry. It's fine, you know, they're old enough. And it's humbling experience, I have to tell you. And I want to welcome people around the world, Norway, United Kingdom, Canada, Kenya, Malaysia, Germany, South Korea, to name a few, Australia, New Zealand, Oman, Jamaica. I mean, it's just bizarre. And it's kind of interesting because as this whole process unfolds, I've never really been able to see my download numbers. I don't really know how many people are actually listening. I see ratings, rankings, right? So naturally, if you're in the top global rankings, which the we podcast has been in the top 200 for a couple months, top 100 for the past month, it means a bunch of people are listening. And why does that important is because if people are listening, then it's working. And what is the working?

10:18What I'm doing here, why am I here? Is to honor back an awareness, a spiritual awakening and the growth that's happening on the planet to everybody on the planet. And, you know, I've been on a path for a really long time, 1990. And I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I didn't remember the day I found my notes, February 16th. That's kind of a day that will last in infamy for me, 1990, February 16th, because that was the first day I sought help, needed therapy, started my emotional growth journey. And that's what the we podcast is. The we podcast is the number one, how to grow podcast. A emotional growth podcast. And as a consequence of emotional growth, there's naturally human transformation, truly. And the human transformation is the changing of your life.

11:20You're becoming a different you as you emotionally grow. And I talk about it all the time where the generation to change and there's always so many new people that join on a weekly basis. I always want to kind of recap a little bit about Joe. And I always have to start by saying, I am not a therapist. I am not a researcher. I'm not an educator. I'm not a teacher. I'm a guy, just like you. I've been an entrepreneur in my whole life. I basically went to college in the Midwest and I learned two things out of Purdue University. And that was, I learned how to play chess and myself and a boss would probably never get along. And that I always say it like that, because basically what I'm saying is I was an arrogant, egotistical, massive personality, entrepreneur, with my hair on fire and willing to go to any link to make money and build a business. That was my personality in my 20s and I did.

12:21The challenge with those 20s is that I drank, drugged marijuana, sexed, worked out. Did anything and everything you would do that wasn't healthy. It wasn't good, it just wasn't. And in those era of time, I didn't know I was doing it to hide wounds and all that. I was just a guy. I was just out there doing my stuff. Well, as the path continued and different awakenings happened and I came across an experience where a guy made mention of people telling him to stop drinking for 90 days and I made fun of the people asking him to stop drinking. And in the me making fun of a non-drinker, right before my 31st birthday, I heard myself. That's one of my first conscious thoughts that I can remember. This is in 1994, it was the conscious thought about drinking. And I say that because in therapy

13:25and all of that, the years, all those years going forward, you have awakenings, you have awarenesses, but the bigger epiphanies like, oh my gosh, I never thought of that ever drinking. It was huge, it was February 13th, 1994. And that's why I've been sober 32 years. In other words, I haven't drank or drugged in over 32 years. And that's why a lot of times on this podcast, I challenge back, I want to be that voice that asks you the question, when was the last time you went 30 days? What was the last time you went 90 days with no drugs, no alcohol? Period, what was the last time? Have no one's ever asked you if you're listening, now you can say someone's asking you. And since I was asked by myself and I did it, I get the challenge back. And those are kind of the things I do here. My whole message is I challenge the human norms. I do. I challenge it with religious belief systems all the time.

14:28I challenge it with the old perspectives of personal growth. I challenge it all the time. And I'm not here to tell anybody what to do. I'm telling you what I do. And I have to tell you the result of what I do. I've got a very cool life. I really do. And I honor whatever you're doing is working. Please keep doing it. Really do. And I don't disrespect anybody. I can completely disagree with things and love you anyways. And I hope it's the same back. I really do. So as this podcast continues to grow when my message, my ultimate message is if I can you can. And the I can you can message comes from anything from personal and emotional growth to addiction, social and emotional growth to addiction, social and emotional growth to spiritual growth to challenge in the human norms of society. And why do I do all of that because we are truly the generation

15:30to change. There's never been a generation in this state where we are right now that is going through the human transformation, the waking up process spiritually. Consciousness is changing on a daily basis at a rate of the number done before. I always give the example of 200 years ago owning a human was perfectly fine. A couple two or three episodes. I gave an example of a man right around the turn of the century 1900s who used his wife as a prostitute to make money. Right in the middle of a little German community. No one did or said anything. And that was that was an episode where I talked about how I was a pedophile created. Well, the little boy of the dad, a six year old, seven year old, 10 year old, whatever was always curious and numerous times he would walk in mom doing things to men that a little boy should never have to see.

16:30And I make that I make those comments because the era of time, the consciousness of the era was just so closed down. Fast forward to the 60s and 70s where most of us on this podcast were raised, some of us 50s. The whole idea of emotionally supporting somebody, empowering somebody, personal growth, honoring your feeling, letting you feel and safe all of that. It didn't exist in the consciousness when we were kids. So today it does. So we, the people on a podcast like this, we are the ones changing, growing, shifting, where the ones waking up more and more, the feminine side of humanity is waking up. It is. And I could give you hundreds and hundreds of examples, but I don't have to. You're on this podcast. And if you weren't, if you weren't spiritually waking up, if you weren't emotionally seeking a different type of growth,

17:33you wouldn't be here. You certainly wouldn't listen to some of my episodes that are just a two hours long. You'd click it off in the first seconds. Well, but you don't. And what does that tell me? And it tells me it's happening around the globe. It tells me that we are all spiritual warriors. The higher power in me, the divinity in me who does these podcasts, who speaks through the mic. It's not the man. It's the divinity through the man. Yes. I have to click the button as the human. And it's the divinity speaking. And it's your divinity listening. And that's why the we is a we. And that's why the we podcast is literally growing at rates that Apple podcast hasn't seen. Truly. We're getting ready to launch a campaign man in the microphone. Why? Because what we're doing here together is very unusual. And I'm honored to be the voice. But I'm not the reason it's growing. And I'm thrilled to know.

18:34Because people keep coming back that whatever I'm saying is helping. You know, back to my original story for the new people. I went through a seven year period of time after having memories of being, you know, pretty severely abused as a kid. By a couple of teenage boys. I went through a seven year period of just absolute darkness. And darkness meaning. No money. Minimal support. I was just committed to heal. And it took me seven years. Now, the length of time was all based on the era of time too. We're talking the 90s. Pre internet. Pre cell phone. Pre texting. Pre scrolling. Pre talking. Pre everything. I lived in a warehouse where at certain points in time. At night, there wouldn't be anybody within three miles of me. That was just my path. But now fast forward all these years later, why do I have such a passion for creating an emotional growth and emotional healing a support mechanism like this?

19:37Because if I can help one person in their darkest times, if my voice can keep you company because now we have technology. I didn't have technology back then, but now we do. So if my voice can keep you company during your dark time, then my seven years is worth it to me. If I can just help one person. And I always say the one person because you know who you are, you're listening now. I tell, I make the comment over and over what I'm doing with the we podcast. This is our 54th episode. But we've got 53 episodes. It's like a library. If you go through and you know wherever you feel like you are. If you feel like you're scared, listen to me. If you feel like you're scared, listen to number 40. If you feel like your world's overwhelmed, listen to X, you know, number 43. One of my most challenging ones was an episode that says I can't let go.

20:37And that was a story about a month ago when I had to put my dog Zeus to sleep. It's very emotional for me. Very hard. And I'm going to talk about that particular experience. But I'm just so grateful you're here. I really am. I have to tell you it was September the 20th, 2022 was the first time I came across somebody else that I could literally feel they were spiritually connected to their heart. In such a way to where their communion allowed me to expand to kind of equal where they were a little bit. And I'd never had that before. Well, now fast forward for years. This podcast and my role in it and sharing the way I'm sharing it tells me it shows me that the world is waking up that I'm not the only one. And for years and years near, so I always knew I wasn't. But there was no literal actual evidence that I wasn't.

21:40Well, now there is. And it's because of all you. So thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being my friends. I look forward, you know, I'm going to be talking about the doubts and the fears and the shifting and the growing and everything. I'm going through it now. Literally, I can't really say fears. That really isn't fair to say that I have many fears. But I certainly have doubts sometimes because I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't miss Wendy said push play and talk. And that's what I've been doing push play and talk. So as that continues, I'm learning as I go. So I'm glad you're here. I'm glad we're doing this together. You know, I like to keep you updated on some things. Some of my past episodes. The episode a month ago, you know, it was launched. My dog Zeus died on August the 5th.

22:40It was really hard. I mean, I grieved hard. I still miss him. I mean, I really do. It's just bizarre how any of you that have had a pat. They're part of the family like literally. And Zeus was definitely part of the family for me. He really was. I've been a single dad with two boys, but basically with three boys. My oldest son, Joseph, my youngest son, Ryan and our dog Zeus. He was with us the whole time. We bought Zeus when he was 10 weeks old and, you know, 10 pounds. Zeus passed away at almost 12 years old and 110 pounds. And not the re-go through that story, but listen to that story. August 11th is when I did that episode, sharing how I did it. And I wanted, I purposely wanted to share with the world in the depths of my grief because I want everybody to know that we are emotional beings. The feminine side of us is where our emotions are and our spirituality is. And I'm telling you guys that part of us is waking up more and more.

23:42And this whole big boys don't cry concept. It doesn't work anymore, it just doesn't. And I'm telling people all the time this whole idea of men taking the rage out on women. That has to stop. Give the example. How do you make it stop? Take 15 minutes. Once a week. Get a plastic bat. Get pictures of people you don't like. Go to your buddy's house before the football game this weekend. Hopefully you did it. I wish, you know, I would get some emails as people telling me that they started. Why? Because you just have to start. And as you start, you'll get the anger out and then you're going to see there's grief underneath it. And that grief is where when we actually understand it's okay to grieve. Men and women alike. It's okay to be angry. Men and women alike. It's not okay to take it out on somebody, but it is okay to feel it, to experience it, to get it out in a healthy way, to have the, have the safety you need, to have the support you need to get it out.

24:50And why is it in there? Because we grew up in an era of time where we weren't emotionally supported. Our parents did not know. We are learning how to do that now to ourselves. It's called inner child work. Dual hand journaling. Right questions with your dominant hand. Answer with your non dominant hand. And give a voice to your darkest parts. That's how we heal. That's the how to the healing of the depths of yourself. 100% of the crazy voices in your head. The source of the voice is in the hurt in your heart. And that's how you get it out. Well, I can tell you with Zeus, when Zeus passed, it was a powerful spiritual experience for me because I didn't know how I was going to make the decision. I'm the one that had to make the decision. I'm the dad.

25:50And I don't have any personal person in my life. I don't have a feminine partner to talk things through with. So I had to do it with myself. And I kept asking a higher power. Dear God, guide me. How will I know? And in my silence, I heard Zeus will tell you. And he did August the fifth. Zeus had a sore on his stomach that eventually reached a place I could not stop depleting. And that was his day, August the fifth. The grief was enormous. The pain was off the charts. The loss was intense. And no remorse, no regret. No fears, no regret. Pain, yes. And I've missed my friend. Zeus was my friend. Zeus was always here the other day. I woke up and it's like, God, I miss him. And it's a month. And I just let myself be sad for why I miss him.

26:51You know, I miss that big smile he has. I miss that those big innocent eyes of his. He was big. 110 pound German Shepherd. And he was ferocious, but he was innocent. His eyes was innocent. He was just pure love. And when he was ferocious, he was protecting because he was loving. And in that experience, I had such a powerful emotional support by the technicians. And that's why I believe the most powerful healing community out there are the people in the support roles in the community roles. You know, the dental hygienists of the world, the people that support the doctors out there. There's a loving community of billions of you that it's your hearts that make a real difference. And I will never, when I reached out and said to the lady, can you help me?

27:52She was so kind, I was talking to God. And this is the receptionist at the dental, at the veterinary clinic. And then when I was done, I took Zeus there. And I asked, do I have to stay in the room while you do the procedure? And the woman said, no, Mr. Middiga, I promise you, I will take care of it. And I grieved, and I walked. And I was really sad. I was sad now thinking about it. And then the same day I wake up and just missing my friends, you know, just a month later. And grieving, it's okay to grieve, it hurts, but it's okay. I get a card with sympathy from the vet saying, dear Mr. Middiga, Zeus was certainly a gentle giant amongst dogs. Take comfort in the memories you shared. In sympathy, Dr. Reese, I mean, that's just kind.

28:54I mean, I can't. The simplest acts of kindness is what heals humanity. And that's what the we podcast is about on the backside, the human transformation side, the giving backside. As we heal on the front side, we have more overflow to give back on the other side. That's both sides of the we podcast, emotional growth, human transformation. How and why do I have such a passion to heal humanity? Because we are the generation to change. That's my goal, heal humanity. How do I plan to do it? I plan to build an audience here with the we podcast with all of your help to be in all 168 countries around the planet, to be on every continent around the planet, and to have a hundred million downloads a month. Because I believe we have a hundred million downloads a month. And I can help a hundred million people understand that you can heal your own hurt by giving a voice to your darkest parts through the dual hand journaling.

30:03And the teach people it's okay to feel it's a K to emote that the emotion that stuck inside of you suppressed because you grew up in an unconscious environment is the source of all the voices in your head. You want to have serenity, you want to live peace, you want to live in a place where life is really calm. Heal the reason you have the voices in your head. It's your voices, you hear it all over, it's your voices in your head that cause your torment. Well, you can't change the mind of a voice, can't because the source of the voice is not in your head, it's in your heart. How do we heal your heart, dual hand journaling? And that's how you do it. Well, the challenge, what happens then, is as we start healing, and as we have these conscious awakenings, and as we start shifting, and as we start growing, and as we start changing, then our life changes.

31:06And you know, I've got a keynote that I'm going to be doing. It's all part of the man on the microphone where my story goes from homeless to global podcaster and everything in between homeless in my world was I lived in an unfinished basement on a two inch, two inch piece of foam and didn't think anything of it. That's my definition of homeless and I was back when I was drinking all the time and drug, drugging all the time and functioning, but never really making any money. Well, the challenge is there's multiple different things that end up happening as a consequence of emotional growth that discovery associated with it, emotional awareness is when you become aware that you've got to hurt inside. Then as you start journaling it and letting that part of you, whatever age that is as that part gets a voice, and you're working with a therapist, however you're working right.

32:06Then over time as you grow, as you emote, as you release, then your external world catches up with the new communion of your internal world. If you really understand that your external world is a mirror of your internal world. So if there's something going on in your external world that you don't like or doesn't feel right or whatever, the source of why it's there is inside. It's a reflection inside and the more we go inside to heal and change and we start realizing that our external behaviors are need to change. That means our world changes. Literally, relationships change, work changes, where we live changes, every changes, things change. And that's all part of the human transformation, the change part, but the question is how do you do it? And understanding first off that when you're being asked to externally change and you feel fear, note that's okay.

33:14Fear is normal. Fear is a human experience. Now, it's not okay to be paralyzed by your fear. And I'm going to tell you and show you how the techniques to do so that you can be afraid and take action steps anyways. So I'm going to kind of tell you some of my stories, you know, about myself, give you some updates on some stories. You know, a couple two or three months ago, I was supporting a couple out of Connecticut and the man relapsed and he was taking his rage out on his partner and I told her to get safe. And then I basically told her we started helping her stay on her couch and grieve and get, you know, see her co dependence, her neediness, which was a little girl who needed her. She kept acting out on her husband and she did she grieved and she's out there, you know, doing really well right now she went through a tremendous amount of pain.

34:16But she connected on a deep level with some emotional stuff and on the other side as that inter emotional her felt better because your spiritual sense of self, your God sense is on your emotional side of self, the feminine side of self. As her emotional sense of self felt better because I helped her give a voice to that part she grieved a 16 year old to begin with an an eight year old later, you know, three or four days each part. And now two or three months later, she's literally she's a public speaker and she like she says I feel more connected to the God to God. She's a Christian to Jesus and the God more than I ever have. It's like how is that can that be? And I said to her, I said, honey, your communion inside with the God of your understanding is through the emotional side of yourself. Why? What's the word that describes God to called love? What's love? It's an emotion.

35:19So if you've got sadness and anger and fear stuffed in it clamps off the emotion of love. It just does. Well, her fear was her co dependence. Her anger was not getting her needs from her partner husband in this case her grief was not getting emotionally supported by her parents. 30 years ago. Well, she helped that part feel better. And if she did, she's more connected. Her husband. Because she didn't rescue him out of the depths of his pain. Literally felt a bottom. He's the man I said, stop praying like a Christian and start praying like a warrior. You're in battle here. Call him John. It's not his name. John got to pray like a warrior because you're going to need it. And sure enough, he did my book, filling the void. I share all my story in that visit my website, joe middigha.com.

36:23I'm filling the void. We're creating book clubs. You're going to really get the book for free. I just found out that we're creating an audio for it. That's the delay. If you've been visiting my site, joe middigha.com. Keep going back eventually to be done. We're going to we're having it in audio book for every language instantaneously every language on the planet. Build a hear my book in your own language, which to me is just absolutely freaking awesome. And my book tells the depths of my story, the depths of my seven years. Well, John made it. He did hard. Yes, miserable. Yes, did he literally feel like devil devil was him. Yes. I said, but you know what, John, you can use that BS excuse all the time. That's not the devil dude. That's you. That's your self hate. That's your self loading. That's your self rage, John. They didn't know devil dude. That's you. Well, he didn't like that at first, but eventually he got it. Got a bunch of anger out. And then we're back in the program. So that particular group. She's doing great. He's back in a program. It's working in a couple months.

37:33And I say that because we're all growing now. I got other people. Same stuff different day, same drunk still drinking still taking his rage out. And I'm going to tell that story about the woman who's walking literally out of co dependence on my Thursday episode. So she's doing just amazing things truly. And for myself, as I started walking out of the seven years. And you know, I was spiritually, I had a burning bush experience. I did February the 20th, 1994 raised my hands and said, God, I'm not supposed to drink and drug, need your help. I should have energy tear down my left side compulsions gone just was folks have been in the program 30 years around it for 32 years. I never heard my story before. And quite honestly, everybody else got to commiserate on their stories. Everybody else got a comfort level because they could hear their own stories somewhere else. I never got that benefit from the program. I didn't because mine was different. It was unique. And I walk into a program 15 months after being dry.

38:43And I start learning that the 12 step program is about becoming closer to God, if you're understanding. And what's challenging. And I'm going to start where I started and walk through the different phases of my life. And by the time I get to the last phase where I'm at right now of changes. I think I'll cover just about everybody that's on this podcast. So I started with minimal money, drinking and drugging every day, completely crazy and full of rage, emotionally closed down. That's why I started. Well, as I then walk through in that era of time, I owned a roofing company. When a grandmother died, took me two bottles of Jack Daniels a night sitting in the middle of a 10,000 square foot warehouse to feel anything. That's where I started. I really did. So I was completely, I call myself an F you God guy. I wasn't atheist, but I wanted nothing to do with this God thing, nothing. That's where I started. So anywhere you are in there, that's where I started. So what happened was as life continued and then the compulsions were going to be a lot more difficult.

40:05And I stopped drinking, then talk about lost. That was the first time in my life where the old guidance system. Why do we have doubt and how do we change what we're really changing is the part of us inside who is guiding us. People always think the change is outside. No, I'm not saying people don't leave and jobs don't and all that. Yes, but the real change. How you're spiritually growing is as you have an awakening, then you live the new awakening. What was my awakening alcohol removed. Well, now I then I had to learn how to live a life. Alcohol free and drug free. That was living the awakening. The awakening was removing of alcohol. The awareness was I had never gone 90 days. I was 14 and now it was 31 15 now. I was almost 31. So I'm asking you right here, folks, when was the last time you went 30 days without alcohol.

41:15Right now it's Saturday, Sunday, Monday, wherever you are in the globe. I get it with football. So what when was the last time you went 90 days. And if you can't honestly answer that easily, it's time to look at it. It's time. Why? Because you have the generation to change truly. And there's not one benefit alcohol is bringing into your life. None. It's time to change. If you can't, you can't. If you can't, get support. Soon I'm interviewing people right now. I'm going to have a place an online support for all sorts of emotional challenges and alcohol and all that that I'll be able to point you to. I share about this place called divorce post online. Don't know these people. I keep them affirmed that I'm talking about them. I'm not affiliated with them at all. But people are growing all the time. Relationships either growing or they're going.

42:15If I would have a support like divorce post 10 years ago, 12 years ago now with my divorce, when my past wife walks in and said, I divorced you and I don't love you anymore. The pain of the I don't love you anymore was so piercing that I just left. Stuff in my front seat, all I wanted was my kids. I got what I wanted. And if I had sport, life would have been different. That's why I'm passionate about this website divorce post. Well, soon I'm going to have a couple other websites. I consider the we podcasts and awareness podcast and I'm going to have solutions to point you to not going to name names yet. But I'm have solutions to point you to and if you haven't gone 90 days in your adult life without drinking, give it a shot. If you can't stop, get some help. Why? Because you're better than that. And it's time you're the generation to change. I was just, when I did it, then I didn't know about a God and how to be guided. It was, I was just lost. So what was the internal guidance system that basically what I would do is I would say, if in the past I turn right, I turn left.

43:30I always try to do the different thing, whatever the it was. And I was really lost for a really long time had no support, had no help, all of that. So the internal sense of doubt was massive. I was afraid every day. I didn't know I had no money blah, blah, blah. So you can't even say, doubt, I was in fear all the time. So if you're new to this process and you're giving up a massive thing like alcohol or drugs or just, you know, got out of a relationship, the big life changes. Then of course there's going to be doubt. Of course there's going to be fear. And how do we move forward with that? The very first thing you do, of course, when you're hearing the voices that are causing it to be scary, but the right those voices down. The I can't do it. The I'm lost in my world. It would have been way back when, well, I don't know where to go. I used to go to the bar. I want to go shoot pool. I miss my friends. I'd write down all of the old voices. And as you write down all the old voices, then you start seeing a clarity between the old voices that used to guide you every day.

44:51And it'll give space for a new set of voices to guide you into your tomorrow. And what you're looking for, what you're wanting to hear is the new set of voices are going to be more encouraging voices. They're going to be more all inclusive voices. They're going to be more loving voices. They're going to be more natural and caring voices. For me, I went from always going to the bars and shooting pool and being around crazy to my voices guided me to Stone Mountain, guided me to the woods, guided me into nature. That's just how I was guided. Well, that took me a while to do, but that's the difference. I hope we hear those new voices is in silence. I hope you've started. If you're new, I'm asking everybody to start the practice of being silent five minutes a day. And silence is not meditation. We're not trying to calm the voices. We're just trying to sit and not have external stimulus.

45:58I'm not a podcast. If I can, you can. That's my overarching message. I about a month plus ago, right before Zeus passed, was guided back into silence, which I've been doing. I silence does not mean no motion. Silence means no external stimulus. So in my silence, I work puzzles. I did an 18,000 piece puzzle several years ago, as I was grieving the my past marriage and all of that. I was 18,000 piece puzzle. I always tell the story. There's four big bags. I didn't know those big bags were each a portion of the puzzle. I tear open all four bags, mix them together and then sort. Well, now I've got a 40,000 piece puzzle. It's basically 10, 4,000 piece puzzles. And believe it or not, I'm almost done with the first one. Probably got 3,000 pieces done of four. And why do I say that? Because I say all the time, if I can do five or six hours a day, you can do five or six minutes. And why is it important to do the five or six minutes? Because the more you get practiced at doing that action stuff, the how to the add to your world, getting in silence, you're going to hear all the crazy big voices.

47:11If you hear hateful, hurtful, unloving voices, keep a pad of paper and actually write them down. But eventually you're going to hear the quiet voices, the softer voices, the all inclusive voices and the quieter voices is the voice of your higher power. And that's the voice you want to learn to hear and then learn how to follow. Now, could I do any of that in the beginning? No, not at all. Not a zero. As my world continued, then I had the memories and then because roofing I was still drinking and drugging. And then I went into my seven years. And in the seven years, I would cut grass five bucks an hour. I lived on $300 a month. And it was in that period of time where two years in where the book, your inner child has rights to was channeled through me. Now called filling the void. A common man's quest to become one with God, the book that's on my website, Joe Middega.com. That book was a higher power voice, literally channeled channel through me. Now, did I know that at the time, kind of, did I believe it was really that kind of, but what did I say to myself?

48:29You're nuts. No one will listen to you. You're not a God guy. Oh, yeah. Now you're going to tell people God channel that God's talking you all the BS. And at that point, I didn't know to write all those voices down, but those voices used to traumatize me and 22 months, 106,800, some odd words. I hand wrote it all out on on yellow pieces of paper on legal side pads paper. That's the book filling the void. Go get it. It's there. Eventually, that voice, it didn't really guide me that I knew it was guiding me. I didn't know that's what was guiding me, but I just saw myself being guided more to isolation and nature than chaos and crazy. I'm a different guidance system, truly. So I don't know what your guidance system is. I will tell you back in the day.

49:29It was uncomfortable for me to say, my name's Joe, and I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Joe, how are you? I hated that part of the meeting. I didn't like calling myself an alcoholic. I did it hard. You know, that's okay. Period. That is hard. And the truth the matter is, if you're in that place and you're realizing you're having a challenge without all, it's okay. You don't have to tell anybody else. It's no one's business. And if you're feeling shame and guilt and grief around that, that's okay. It's all part of the process. A lot of people go through the shame and the guilt. You know, there's different types of, and I don't know the terms, but I know there's different types of sexually transmitted diseases. You know, whatever they are that people have. And it can be paralyzing because a shame, oh, there's something deeply wrong with me because I have this disease.

50:32And no, there's nothing wrong with you if that happened. Nothing. And how we work through it is truly if the shame is paralyzing you, you need to get some help because you need to talk it through. I just heard a story of a young woman who was about eight or nine months sober and she wasn't prepared to be around her friends who were going on a bachelor at party. She wasn't prepared. She hadn't told anybody that she's an alcoholic and she stopped drinking. So she wasn't prepared. Well, if I would have talked to her, I would have told her, it's no one's business. If you're an alcoholic or not, but say out loud to somebody ahead of time who can be your advocate, I've stopped drinking. Please help me stay on my course of not drinking, find an advocate. And I can promise you, if your friends or anything like mine, they loved it. If Joe wasn't drinking because that just meant there was more for them.

51:38There's so many voices that say, well, if I don't drink, they won't like me. They won't mirror around. I can't be fun. I won't be fun. All of those voices are all first step voices. If all of the voices you have when you're changing an unloving pattern and now having to function out into the life, not living the unloving pattern, listen to the voices. Listen to them. In my world, I didn't have to go through a lot of that because I just went into isolation and I wasn't missed. I'm literally talking to a gentleman who was a pro basketball player, wife, massive career, massive everything, millions of people knew it. And I thought about it. You know, I thought my it was hard for me, but basically I just went away and no one missed me. I think about how hard that would be for somebody that has a normal life that has, you know, they go to church every day, a normal functioning life. My life wasn't.

52:42So I have real empathy for people who are not even talking to pro athlete type of this guy as a pro athlete. Now he's been sober 20 years, but for people that are changing a pattern and then having to live out in the world as that changed pattern. And all the voices you're going to hear in your head, we have to address the voices before you get back into the old environment. First, that's the how to. So let's just say it's drinking and you're getting ready to go to a family gathering where you drink every year for the past 20 years at Christmas. Well, it's September finds somebody in your family and tell them straight up, I've stopped drinking. Please help me let everybody know I'm not drinking. They don't have to know why they don't have to. And then you have to listen to your voices. Voices like, well, if I don't drink, I won't be fun. If I don't drink, people won't want to be around me. If I don't drink, people are going to think I'm selfish. If I don't drink, whatever. And it can be anything. I'm using drinking.

53:49It can be drugs. It can be working out. It can be a job. It can be whatever it is that that's on loving and you're changing. We have to hear we have to listen to the voices that are making stuff up about me yourself so that they don't paralyze you when you're not moment. Literally, you do that ahead of time. You'll be much more prepared to live the new you in your current environment. Now for me, I just left. And when I came back, I was six or seven years sober. So it was very different. I know there's a type of there's a type of herpes that you can literally get it. If you kiss somebody who has it on their lips. I don't know what it's called. I was just talking to him for six years. She was like paralyzed in her own shame like she was dirty like she was ugly like she was something wrong with her. She's afraid to be around anyone. She went celebrate for six or seven years because she got herpes by kissing somebody.

54:57And then she finally worked it through. But folks, if that's you, get help. Talk it through. We are only as sick as our secrets. And it's the secrets that create the voices. And when you tell somebody they can help you walk through it. And you especially on big things like that. A therapist if needed a good friend somebody in a 12 step program somebody to then support the process of sharing with your world, the new you. And the new you in the beginning is very, very fragile. And you know what? If you're new, you might have to call in sick and not go to the Christmas party for the first time in 25 years. Because if you're too vulnerable, don't go. It's not worth it. Go next year. And that's all part of the growth. There's a tremendous amount of the change when we change from the inside out when we heal from the inside out.

56:08Sometimes there's a lot of external change that has to happen because the external world of your old doesn't mirror the internal world of your new. Here what I just said. When you're growing inside when you discover something in you when you start healing a deeper you. And you start to come out and you start living the new you. A lot of times there are components of your external world. Your old external world that do not mirror your new internal world. That's where I say all the time relationships have to grow or they go. That's why divorce post in my, my, I have such a passion for that particular website because there are going to be people waking up every day around partnerships, marriages, long term relationships that just aren't going to work anymore because your partner if you're growing and they're not it's not going to work eventually the unequally yoked will catch up sooner or later visit divorce post let them help.

57:16And it also happens in work. Perfect example you're trying to get sober and you're the manager of a bar you're going to have to quit your job period is that going to be easy? No is sobriety worth it? Yes. If you're challenged with food you're going to probably have to get out of the food industry. Yes. If you're in a relationship if your home life is going crazy because you're never around you might have to leave that job. That takes you traveling all the time. Yes. And the priorities of your internal world are going to naturally change your external world and it is going to be scary and you are going to feel doubt you are. And that's why when you're changing your external world it's okay to be afraid and right the voices down the how to get through it anyway. Right them down. And then figure out whatever the action step is you need to take even though you're afraid.

58:21The illusion is I can't take action steps because I'm afraid I shouldn't do it because I'm afraid then that means I'm not supposed to be doing it. That's false. Your gut knows. And as you're growing inside your external world will naturally change. As my world continued I came back out after my seven years. I met a woman we got married I started a business and networking group. So now I'm dealing with small business entrepreneurs. I went from blue collar 80 hours a week on the roof as a rougher owned my own company as an entrepreneur to a lawn care five bucks an hour. I was the ground to the ground to now I'm working with small business owners. Can you say doubt? Can you say I had no esteem I was barely making enough money to live. I was terrified all the time because I had to make money because now I have a wife and a baby my son Joseph.

59:22And it was scary of course it was. So what did I do? You know I literally back then I started using the cliches of the program. I started with the first thing's first one step at a time start moving forward. It was I was in a waffle house before my leads club business was starting I'm in a waffle house and I'm terrified because I couldn't go back. If it was just me I could go back to living in the woods on 40 bucks a month. But it wasn't just me anymore I had a wife and a baby. That moment in time in that waffle house where in this deep angst I couldn't breathe. For years when I'm in pain I asked for strength and courage but it was in that moment I realized I can ask God a higher power back then I called higher my higher power great spirit or spirit. I can ask great spirit for guidance. So the how to keep moving forward is you ask for guidance.

1:00:27Ask your higher power to guide you to tell you to show you to help you ask it's as simple as dear God guide me and I'm not kidding. And then when you're in your silence listen for the guidance listen for the answer. You're going to hear all the I can't voices the I can't voices need to be written down on a piece of paper. The guidance voices also need to be written down on a piece of paper. I can't voices need to be told to somebody so they don't paralyze you when they're out of you and told to somebody else their power cuts in half. Keeping those voices silent in you are your secrets were only as sick as our secrets were only as we're only as stuck as our secrets the secrets are the glass empty voices right him down tell somebody.

1:01:27The glass full all possibility the maybe voices the I hope full voices maybe we can do it I think we can we should move this all of those voices also need to be written down. And if you have the conscious capacity to move forward with that on your own great but there's a whole world of life coaches and coaches out there and mentors out there that will help you. I want to support you in the how to with your new inspirational voices literally I've had a counselor my entire adult life. And now for me personally the entrepreneurial prowess in me the entrepreneur and me it's just always been huge. So I never really needed support from the entrepreneurial side I didn't. I would go bulldozed through and make it happen and that's what happened in that business. And I came up with that whole leads club thing and then I came up with because I was doing I was doing the leads club thing and the leads club business was start to start kind of go away a little bit the recession hit of 2008.

1:02:37This is now 2010 and that's where with my leads club business I was doubt because myself a steam was so low and I'm around these powerful successful small business owners. And when I the story I'm talking about with the waffle house it's like that business is slowing down because I had groups of entrepreneurs but because of the recession in the 2008 2009 that whole world here in the States a lot of the small business owners were going away they couldn't make it. Business is getting smaller and smaller and I'm in fear literal because I'm being asked to change again my work world is changing and that's where the waffle house experience comes in and two days later I ask right there ask two days later a guy says you need to start your own business job Jerry my own I said my own business doing what that's where avian energy was started 2010 now avian energy is a much bigger business.

1:03:39Bigger business as dealing with global counts I was the guy who called billion dollar organizations to get contracts with them and that's where that whole business started but the transition between small business owner and big business bigger business it was a tremendous amount of doubt a tremendous amount of fear a tremendous amount of concern because I didn't know what I was doing. And of course I'm one of these guys that basically says I'll call until somebody cusses me out and tells me to stop calling well no one cussed me out so I figured it out was there doubt yes was there fear yes was there concerns yes all of the above and I kept moving forward anyways so if you're in the middle of a big change if you're in the middle of a relationship change. Understand there's going to be doubt that's part of human has nothing to do with your stability or your spirituality or none of that it's called being human and in that process what eventually happens sometimes you can charge through because it's familiar other times you wake up on a Tuesday morning just trying to figure out what's the next best step and as you figure out what's the next step.

1:05:01And as you figure out what the next best step is that's the moving forward process literally how we keep ourselves from doubt paralyzing us write the voices down as you hear the softer voices because you're practicing silence right those voices down and then collectively we start building whatever those voices are whatever the inspirations are you start moving that forward I have an entire pod. I'm going to talk about the first podcast on that the dream big dreams and move into dreams into imagination imagination and inspiration inspiration into creation creation into manifestation so that whole thing if it's a big it's going to if it's a big dream it's going to take some time if it's looking for a new job in a new industry you can go through that whole that whole phrase that whole phase right there in two days and go look in the newspaper in a different section.

1:06:01And are there going to be doubts yes supporting somebody right now who was who's been in the sale side of the world forever well she went back to school got a new degree with this new degree now when she's out there looking for new jobs she has a new title so she's looking for a new thing as she's in there now looking in a totally different section of the potential jobs she scared the death. Of course she is why because she's looking in an area she's never looked at and the fear doesn't mean she's looking in the wrong place the fear means she's looking in the exact right place it's fear because of unfamiliar not fear because wrong fear because it's unfamiliar and that's where you ask for strength and courage to keep moving forward during the unfamiliar. Keep moving forward in my world right.

1:07:03September 20 my my business avion is it's this very successful business I live a good life you know my boys now are grown i've been a single dad for 10 years 11 years and so September 20th 2022 Here the voice two new book start channel and through me I do a live stream and a year ago right now I start I get the idea of meat miss Wendy with the podcast so the we podcast is literally can you say I have no freaking idea what I'm doing here I'm not kidding so I've said it numerous times thank you all for being patient with me if you hear stuff in my background if you hear the technology not the greatest is the best. I get it you know i'm learning all this as I go I'm not trying I'm doing the best I can with it but I don't have a stamp of people helping I don't even know what the next steps are miss Wendy said to me you'd be great great at what at a podcast show say Wendy I don't know anything about doing a podcast she says that's fine you push play you talk push and I'll do the rest and that's literally how it started well you know we launched November

1:08:1911th January the 8th we hit the top 100 charts and so society and culture for the very first time now fast forward 54 episodes this is the 54th episode we're globally ranked we're on charts across the globe because of all you I share all that right so you would naturally think oh everything's going great everything's wonderful every no no that's not it I still wake up on a daily basis saying what the hell am I doing here what's next what am I supposed to do what else is supposed to be going on with my world you know like what do I do next and literally in my silence right and I'm guided back into silence and I share this because I equated silence with solitude and I resisted a rarely resist I did my higher power I've gone through so much over the years I don't really have all the other voices anymore I don't so when I was guided back into silence you know my higher power is basically wanting me to take the headphones off and now five or six hours a day I just most the time I hear nothing I'm working a puzzle I don't hear anything but literally this is all brand new for me the whole podcasting world the whole getting ready to be out on stages sharing my message to the globe on stages you know as a public speaker that's a that's a passion for me I've got three books already written the first book filling the void go to jomitiga.com over this next year there'll be three more of them.

1:09:49Three different books though you'll get them all for free all of this it might look beautiful and wonderful from the outside oh gosh I don't know what the hell I'm doing I don't but I just keep doing the right next thing I just keep doing the right next step and it continues to unfold well literally with podcast and a couple days ago I start hearing a voice in my head and I kind of hear it and I don't pay attention to it at all because I don't hear voices often and here's what the voice has started saying to me now you have to understand the we podcast is exploded around the globe we're probably close to half a million downloads in less than eight or nine months extraordinary because of all of you we're connecting I say it all the time I'm just a guy if you met me I'm the guy sitting next to your church I'm the guy look across the way at the crowbar wherever you shop for food I'm that guy look at a baseball field if you're in the southeast you saw me at a baseball field over the past 10 years because that's where I was come to Georgia Highlands where my son plays baseball you'll see I'm that guy I am

1:11:02nothing I'm that guy well but I don't have the voices why because I did what I teach here so when I hear voices I can hear them pretty clearly and literally I'm hearing voices that are having doubt I'm hearing a doubt voice about the we podcast the voice will say something like I want to what if I don't have something to say next week one of the voices what if people stop listening another voice what if my stuff gets boring to people another voice what if I don't know what to say another voice and there were a couple other what if it stops ranking and everybody goes voices well do I believe the voices no what do you think I did with the voices oh that's right I write them down and I just told a million people my voices I literally just did

1:12:05the exercise I tell people to do all the time I wrote the voices down and then tell someone well I just told a million people my voices now after luckily in my world because I'm practiced at it after I hear a voice saying Joe we podcast isn't about you Joe God has given you something to say for 30 years Joe it has nothing it you know you're the messenger you're not the you're not the source of the message so I have the glass full voices almost immediately I do literally but I don't dismiss the doubt voices I don't I write them down and if I have an inner wound like a little kid wound that has to come up I wait and I listen and I've been having some of that come up lately I have I've been having a what about me voice come up I have to understand my oldest is launched my youngest is doing his thing is elite my best friend my dog Zeus is gone I spend a tremendous amount of time with just myself I haven't had a female partnership in 12 years

1:13:18so ever once I'll I'll have a what about me like I give to the world every day I give up myself all the time when will there be somebody that chooses to share their overflow with me I have that voice and that pushes a deep neglect button in me that pushes an adult man button in me you know I might not ever have a female partnership I hope I do some time it be a lot of fun I have a tremendous amount of glory and joy to share with somebody but right now I don't have it I don't have it in my life I don't and sometimes I don't really have a fear of not having a partner I don't have that fear but sometimes I feel the sadness of not having anybody not having a person that holds my head you know I was really missing my dog Zeus today at the past couple of days and I don't have anybody to share with I'm sharing it with all of you but it'd be nice someday to you know to have a female partner say Jesus jump sorry and just give me a hug so I want you to hear it doesn't matter where your world is we are emotional beings and we're going to be going through our emotional stuff

1:14:34you're right down your voices the massive big ones are the quiet small ones you write them down that's the how to you're right the voices down and trust me if you've never written them down go on Amazon you can buy a pad of the legal sized papers for like 26 bucks as you're going to need it you've got a ton of them if you're stuck on the couch and you can't move I can promise you there's five hundred voices in your head and in two or three different in two or three different settings you write them down and tell somebody you'll be amazed at how free you become of the voices not the hurt in the belly that's causing the voices but free from the voices themselves and of course when you feel that hurt valley you do will hand journal right with the right your dominant hand answer with the non dominant I moat the feelings

1:15:34fellas get that with football bat get a bunch of pictures of people you don't like stick a couple of your wife in there I know she passes y'all of course she does she's in your world to push your buttons period she's not in your world to take your rage out on her but it's okay to put her Mr. Joe said I am supposed to put a picture of you in my pile I guarantee you she'll give you 10 pictures of her to put in the pile if you promise to beat the bat and not take your anger out of her and then of course make sure you have your headphones five minutes of grief a week fellas just this past couple days I was sad again pretty pretty hard good hour or two about missing my dog Zeus missing his innocence missing his energy I'm not now not only in silence I'm in stillness because this isn't around and it's a different thing and I do exactly what I tell y'all to do I do the exact same things through that whole process coming out the other side I'm walking in faith every day with the we podcast I do not know where this goes I don't really I don't have an attachment to where it goes but every day I wake up and I ask

1:16:51dear god guide me literally as I was getting ready to do this podcast today I've got one page I really didn't know exactly what I was going to say I just start talking and here it is an hour 17 minutes later and we're all here together it's working I'm a living example of if you do the things that I share here you can have a very cool life and whatever your thing is making a difference doctor Reese made a difference in my life because she sent this sympathy card on the exact day I got it the exact day I was really missing my my friends Zeus she made a difference in my life and I will never forget that you can make a difference in somebody's life today I shared a story of a couple weeks ago about how there's this teenage female that her parents are cloaking her behaviors in 12 steps well I decided what can I do I can send her a text a couple times a day say Mr. Joe loves you and Mr. Joe's really proud of you and you know what

1:18:04after doing it every day for about eight or nine days I finally got I love you back for her what does that mean it means his teenagers opening up a little bit that's all people need folks be the giver every once in a while be the person be the supporter every once in a while you know somebody that's going through a divorce be the supporter send them to the voice post if you're the one going through a divorce go to divorce post get your self help soon I'm going to have a place couple more places I'll send you there because together or healing together we're moving forward together we're becoming aware that it's okay to be afraid and you can move forward anyways we ask for support we ask for guidance we move forward and as we continue to move forward we heal as we heal we feel better as we feel better we feel as we give our fullness back to the world that's called overflow and it's in that unconditional overflow that you heal yourself and together we heal humanity

1:19:17those thanks for being here I really appreciate your support it's been an amazing journey and together we are truly making a difference one smile at a time and from around the world I want to welcome all of you to we so that's it for today's episode of the Wii podcast head on over an Apple podcast or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show one lucky listener every single week that posts a review on Apple podcasts or iTunes we'll win a chance at the grand prize drawing to win a $25,000 private VIP day with Joe himself be sure to head on over to wepodcast.global and pick up a free copy of Joe's gift and join us next time for the we podcast