Why Failing Will Lead To Your Success

0:00Hello beautiful ones, welcome to the Healing Herb Podcast, a sacred place where we talk all things healing, mind, body, spirit and soul. My name is Megs and I am the host of this gorgeous podcast and I am so grateful to have you here listening along to all the goodness today. Before we get on into our next episode here on Healing Her, it is important to note that I am not a medical doctor or professional nor a psychologist or doctor or any kind. I share my stories, experiences and lessons for interest only and often known medical or professional advice whatsoever. If you need medical and or professional mental health support, please contact your health professional. I am a nutritionist and a health coach and I speak from that place at times but mostly I just come from a place of being a woman having lived, learned and navigated a lot in this life so far and I continue to live and learn each and every day and in the hope and I share in the hope that it may be helpful to others somehow in their healing journey.

1:03This entire podcast comes from the heart and a place of love. I hope you can feel that as you listen along. My wish for you is love, abundance, peace, healing and joy. Thank you so much for being here with me today. I am very excited about this topic and it is a little bit of a tricky one that could touch a few sore spots. Today we are talking about failure. Now this is a topic I actually know a lot about and have quite a lot of experience. I have literally failed countless times throughout all the stages of my life. I have failed myself. I failed school. In fact, I walked out halfway through year 11 in hindsight, probably not the smartest thing to do but there you go, that's what I did. For many reasons, life reasons and home reasons and what have you. I felt many jobs, courses, careers, relationships, businesses, the list is endless, you name it.

2:04So having failed so many times in so many things do I consider myself a failure? Absolutely not. I actually believe the opposite is true. I have learnt so much from all of my many many failings and it has helped me reach success. In fact, I believe that you possibly cannot reach a certain level of success if you have not experienced some failure in some part, had not experienced some hardship in some form or part because I think the lessons you learn from when you fail are invaluable. They are tools you can then implement into your life and help build the success that you desire. One thing I might mention here, I think possibly when people are at the end of their life and I've worked with a lot of people sort of nearing the end of their

3:07life in aged care and things like that and I will tell you one thing just from many many conversations particularly with older women. The biggest regrets they have is not trying. It's not by playing small. They've not reached out to the stars and run with their dreams. They've sort of raised their family, they've stayed quite, they've stayed small and their regret is not trying, not having a crack at their big dreams or in their little dreams for that matter. They self-sacrifice for their families and in that life which is very admirable of course. However speaking on regret many of these women do regret not trying at least. They would have rather tried and failed rather than be at the end of their life and not know what possibly could have happened if they did try. So that's a really big message not just from me today but from women that have lived long

4:13beautiful lives. Their message is don't sit on your dreams, try. If you fail, get back up again. If it's something you believe in, you keep going, you keep trying, try different things, try new ways of looking at it. Anyway that is a message that I think is a really important one to share and if you are sitting at home and all listening in your car and you think yeah but Meg's I've failed so many times, I've failed so many times. Try and see the silver lining in the positive and what lessons did you learn? What did you achieve? What did you, I know failing never feels great? Of course it doesn't but hindsight is a wonderful tool right. We can look back and find some goodness in things that that we have done. Saying that I have failed forward so many times is very true and also the shame and guilt that I so often felt the long periods of time also.

5:15Many times life has kicked my butt but I've constantly tried and many times I've fallen down and many times I've been encouraged to stay there because it's safe. You made a mistake. It didn't work. Why do you want to get up and try again? Why do you want to try something new? You've already failed. You're a failure. No bullshit. Absolutely not. Continue to get back up. Like that beautiful saying says get knocked down seven, get back up eight. Never give up if it's something that's in your heart that you know is true to you and important to you. Keep getting up I say. I have continued to get back in the ring and continue to take risks and try new things. And I'm grateful that I have the strength and the resilience to do that and failing has given me that. Failing has made me courageous, brave, strong, resilient, capable and proud. Now this might sound

6:16really strange but failing and not giving up has taught me some of my most powerful lessons. It's taught me how to back myself and believe in myself even when nobody else does. Failing has taught me to not listen to the people who are not being brave with their life. People that are sitting still on playing small they've got a dream in their heart. They've got things they want to do with their life but they're too scared. And I'm not shaming or guilty anybody who feels that way in some way society has taught us particularly women to stay small, shut up and sit down. They've taught us that. So it takes a lot of strength to get out there and try. I totally understand that. But don't listen to the people who are not being brave with their life. Don't let them turn you off having a go at living your dream life achieving your dream goals. If they're not going where they want to go you can't listen. You keep going where you want to go.

7:20Even if it's in small incremental steps you don't have to be all out flood out on the first day. Make a plan, make small steps and for backfire that's okay. Recheck, recalibrate, have another look. Try try try again. You know one of my greatest failures and possibly the one. I guess this is being very vulnerable and open and raw and real here but this is the whole entire premise of this podcast healing her. It's about being honest, it's about sharing, it's about listening to one another and lifting each other up. So this failure it is probably the greatest failure of of my life thus far and one with the greatest amount of shame and guilt that I've probably ever felt. It was a failure of an AI business I ran and founded. I found it a business that I'm also incredibly proud of yet it took almost everything from me. I started a small based business in Brisbane when I had three very small young children at the time and

8:26it was a small business doing very well on its own. However it grew and expanded seemingly overnight and I just didn't have the infrastructure, the lessons, the strategies, the plans in place to make it a success. I just was running by the seat of my parents. So this this failure took nearly everything from me. I let my family down enormously. I worked a huge crazy hours day and night. I was constantly stressed. I didn't fulfill any of my roles properly or the way I would have lied to. That's wife, mother, friend, business owner. It really took all my vitality. It took my money, my self-esteem and my confidence. In the end we had to sell our home and start all over from scratch. The amount of guilt and shame I felt for that for many years was huge and I really did sit down and shut up for the rest of my life because I thought Megan how can you put your family through this again? How can you keep trying to run these adventures or these adventures that

9:33you are just not prepared for? However, the lessons I learnt from that, the strategies I learnt from that, the what not to do, I learnt from that, the non-negotiables I learnt from that. Now I work my business in set hours. I do not run over time. I do not do any business outside those hours. I had the capital that know how the people in place that I needed to succeed and there's a little tiny failure along the way and that's okay. But what I'm saying is that monumental failure that sort of nearly destroyed my family and my marriage, the lessons I learnt helped me rebuild to be stronger, more resilient, smarter and better than ever. And I'm grateful for that. Another thing that might sound really weird, but I am grateful for that failure, for what I learnt and what

10:38I took away from it. At the time, hell no, at the time was dreadful. It was a disaster. But as the years passed and as I started to rebuild, finances, family, spending more time with my kids, doing all the things I needed to do or wanted to do, it, my bravery came back, my resilience kicked in and my belief of if something is really important to you and it's in your heart, you need to follow it. So like I said, from that monumental failure came some of the greatest gifts I could ever ask for. We moved to a small beach, beach side town to raise our children, my nervous system got to heal and repair, I got present again with my children, my husband and myself once again and I had a chance to find my purpose. I regained my health and my wellbeing. My failures have shown me

11:40what wasn't for me and helped me figure out what was right for me and I am so thankful for the lessons I learnt and I will never not do something or not start something based on fear. I would rather fail than have the regret of not trying it all, just like those women that I was talking about, it's better to have a go and try than have the regret of not knowing how it might have turned out. Failing has given me the courage to do personal things in my life. It gave me the courage to get my motorbike licence after failing it twice, to participate in triathlons and feel proud of finishing nearly almost last but I did it. I finished and I was so proud of myself. It gave me the courage to become a volunteer surf lifesaver, even though I'm scared of deep water and sharks. That's crazy right, but I did it. I achieved that and I was a volunteer surf lifesaver for many seasons where we lived at the time. I wouldn't have done those things, I wouldn't have been as brave as

12:45I was, had I not failed in learnt lessons. It has given me the courage to pursue anything I wish to try in my life. It sounds like such a negative twist on things that failure has made me succeed, but it really has. It humbled me. It made me see what was important. It made me see what I really wanted in my life. What was important? Think about those questions. What is really important in your life? What are you not prepared to give up on? What are you not prepared to not have a go at? There are important questions to ask ourselves and it's okay to fear the failure, but do it anyway. The worst possible scenario may never happen and if it does, maybe do a calculated estimation of okay, if I was to give this a go, what is the worst case scenario here? Maybe if that's too big

13:49and too scary for you, break it down into smaller chunks or try something else or maybe look into your heart and think, is that truly what I want to give a go? Maybe it's not what is in your heart and your knowing. I feel very blessed for my failings because it has helped me find my purpose and I pursue it with all I have and without fear of failure and without fear of what other people think or say about me. That is what other people think and say about me is none of my business anyway and I hope you have that attitude as well because what you do in your life is your business, not theirs. What other people say and think about you, does not affect you, should not affect you, what you believe about you is what is important sweetheart. I know what I'm here to do and I hope in my whole heart you do too. I know my purpose is to help other women through my lessons and my

14:53experiences and my journey and even if it's only the smallest little thing that someone resonates with if you take one tiny snippet away from this podcast today and implement it into your life and it helps you in some way, that is going to be goosebumps. How funny. I just literally got goosebumps and because that's what matters to me. I think as women sharing, caring, sharing our experiences being vulnerable and open with each other, lifting each other up, not tearing each other down, supporting each other, you know, if I read something the other day that said, you know, buy things from your friends businesses and ask for freebies of people you don't know, not the opposite way around. So true. We have friends and small business and we expect them to give us things for free or we don't support them at all and yet we will pay whatever a stranger is asking for their product or service. It's crazy. We should be supporting each other and that's what I feel is important

15:55and what part of my purpose is. As mentioned earlier, I'm nutritionist at the health coach but more importantly, I'm a writer and I write about my stories and lessons and things that I think are important to share with other women and I think this podcast helps my healing process and journey just as much as I hope it helps somebody else. So that's it for today, lovely ones. Thank you so much again being on here to listen to all the goodness. I really thank you for listening along today and I hope that it has helped in some small way. If you loved it, I would love you to give me a little follow and a share and listen to some other healing her podcast to see if there's any goodness in there for you in the others. If you know anyone that this podcast could assist, please feel free to share. For more healing her goodness, you can check out my website, meganwinders.com.au and head over to my socials. On Facebook, it is healing her and on Instagram,

17:02it is at weare.healingher. If there is a topic you would like me to cover, please reach out. I would love to help in any which way I can. Thank you again for listening along. I hope you have the most wonderful day and I will see you in the next episode. Go get them, girls. Chase those dreams. See you in the next episode. Bye.